Laverne Cox has made history as the first transgender woman to cover Cosmopolitan. She’s on the upcoming February issue for the South African version, which is progress but I would like to have seen her on the American version too. She looks incredible in a net plastic one-arm one piece bathing suit. I’m thinking some photoshop magic happened because otherwise that suit would be see through, right? The video only shows her from the neck up in that dress so I’m thinking that’s the case.
Cox is getting headlines for her candid comment that many of her past boyfriends have hid her from their friends and family. As a cis person, that’s not something I realized happens to transgender people. You hear the stories about how vulnerable trans women are but you don’t consider the everyday indignancies and it’s kind of heartbreaking. Laverne explains that her ex boyfriend was different though and that she met his family and it was special. This makes me happy but why is he her ex boyfriend? Is she talking about the guy she brought to the SAGs in 2016 and why didn’t it work out? I know that sometimes it’s for the best when people split though. Here’s some of what she told Cosmo and the video is below.
The most romantic thing anyone has ever done for her
As a black transgender woman, I’ve often been kept a secret by the men that I’ve dated. So when my ex boyfriend introduced me to his dad and invited me to spend Hanukkah with him and his family, it was the most special thing ever. Trans women deserved to be loved out in the open and in the light.Her message to Cosmo readers
Let go of fear and live a fun, fearless life. If I can do it, you can do it.
[From video by Cosmo SA ,below]
I love how she told us to let go of fear. I know that’s a Cosmo tagline, but it means something more coming from her. That’s something I need to hear and am trying to embrace. She may get sick of hearing it, but she’s inspirational. Also I would like to get some beauty and makeup tips from her. I googled “Laverne Cox makeup tips” and she uses baby shampoo as face wash! I need to try this.
Here’s the quick Q&A with Laverne. She said her celebrity crush is Drake, that she’d most like to be stuck in an elevator with Oprah and that her Emmy is her most treasured possession. The part about her ex is at :50
Photos credit: Cosmo and WENN
I love her and wish her the best. She looks stunning.
Also “Wtf is intercourse?” LOL
“Wtf is OUTERcourse*?”
Stunning, but I honestly find it a bit sad that the most romantic thing a guy has ever done is openly acknowledge her. That should just be a given, we need to start treating trans people with more respect.
Let go of fear. I am not a tearful, emotional person. But yesterday when I read Judge Aquilina say, “Leave your pain here. Go out and do your magnificent things.” I had tears rolling down my eyes. Thanks Celebitchy! And now, “Let go of fear” is another.
I did that almost 2 years ago. Let go of the fear, did something outside of my comfort zone and have been living the best life since. It’s amazing how much fear holds you back. And how much pain you unknowingly suppress that can be released so you CAN start doing your magnificent things. After work I went home and had one of the best workouts in awhile.
Be at peace, celeb*tchies!
Thanks for this post! Soemtimes things just hit you right where you need it to.
It’s so awesome and liberating when you let go of your fear, isn’t it?
I have a genuine question please about a transgender topic – why would a man dating Laverne hide it? If she is pre-op then this would surely be a gay man so I dont understand what the issue or ‘shame’ factorwould be? Excuse my ignorance, am trying to learn.
No, not all men who date trans women identify as gay.
Um, no. A man dating Laverne is dating a woman, regardless of whether she is pre or post op. So he would not be gay. We need to stop being so obsessed with equipment – it clouds the thinking.
But her boyfriends were probably hiding her because they didn’t want to answer questions about her body, which should be none of anyone’s business but people feel free to ask about trans people.
Let’s face it, if a guy introduces Laverne as his GF, he will get a thousand questions like is she post op? Are you gay? Is it weird? Don’t you want to have children?
You would NEVER get these questions with a cis GF. Nobody would be like, so is her vagina in perfect working order?
And so many men are not brave and secure enough to support her as a partner.
But the fault is also in society’s treatment of trans people.
Is it really okay to say “We need to stop being so obsessed with equipment”? Some people are gay and attracted to the same sex and that is just as fine as being heterosexual and being attracted to the opposite sex.
^ Exactly, MM. Only a percentage of people are bisexual and can afford to not care about the sex of their partners. The rest of us are still gay or straight.
@MM: “Is it really okay to say “We need to stop being so obsessed with equipment”? Some people are gay and attracted to the same sex and that is just as fine as being heterosexual and being attracted to the opposite sex.”
Except… There are trans people of all genders?! Also intersex folks are real. So, gay men and straight women can still be with men with various ‘equipments’ and lesbian women and straight men can be with ladies with all kinds of ‘equipments’.
PS: Like eye colors or shoe sizes gender/sex is not binary. Meaning there is no ‘opposite’ eye color, size or gender/sex
“and lesbian women and straight men can be with ladies with all kinds of ‘equipments’.”
This is a deeply homophobic thing to say. We as lesbians are fundamentally incapable of experiencing sexual attraction to males who “feel like a woman on the inside” no matter how they dress or what penile modification they choose to do because it goes against our homosexual nature. The same goes for straight men.
Bisexual and straight women who mislabel themselves as “lesbians” due to their relationship with a trans-identified male harm actual lesbians.
Hikaru, please speak for yourself and not for an entire community. There indeed are lesbian women in relationships with trans women as there are trans lesbians.
Also…
“Bisexual and straight women who mislabel themselves as “lesbians” due to their relationship with a trans-identified male harm actual lesbians.” – – WHAT EVEN??? Trans men = men, therefore perfectly fine to date for bi and straight women?
@MM; You can define your sexuality however you want.
My point is that the equipment is not what defines someone as a man or a woman. This is KEY in discussing trans issues.
MORE IMPORTANTLY when someone introduces their partner, why do we need to speculate what is in their pants? Why the need to define if they are gay or straight?
Laverne is a woman. If the man dating her is gay, he is still dating a woman. And he can still be gay. Or bi. Or whatever.
My point is it is irrelevant to her identity as a woman, AND it should be irrelevant in how her relationship is treated.
@ Hikaru
You realize what you said is DEEPLY hypocritical, don’t you?
How does a lesbian dating a trans woman impact you? That’s the same BS argument that straight bigots use to argue against gay marriage. “Oh, two men or two men marrying deeply harms the state of marriage”
You are basically saying that a woman dating a trans woman harms the state of lesbian-hood. Think a little please!
This trend of straight and bisexual feminists pressuring us lesbians into heterosexual relationships and claiming we are bigots for not being into male sex is deeply homophobic.
We are not attracted to males of any self-proclaimed gender identity. No lesbians date transwomen. Stop staling our words. Stop being homophobic.
Lol, Haiku, you are either a troll, a bot or just deeply transphobic. I will no longer engage with you. Have a nice live underneath your rock.
@Hikaru. I’m straight, but I am completely on your side in this. With that said I’ll leave this thread now.
@Hikaru: You’re not a bigot for only wanting to have sex with or date females. The problem people are having with your comment is you saying that a lesbian who’s capable of attraction/romantic love with both cisgender women and transgender women (but not cisgender men or transgender men) doesn’t get to call herself a lesbian.
Here’s the fundamental misunderstanding IMHO: You’re trying to match up non-binary gender with a binary label for sexual orientation.
There are more variations than “gay or not.”
Bisexual women are not lesbians, Otaku Fairy.
Lesbian is a term that describes female homosexuality. Female homosexuality does not in any way or shape include attraction to male sex too.
If you fancy both women and males who id as transwomen there is nothing wrong with that, but it makes you a bisexual, not a lesbian.
Bisexual women have no right to claim our identity and force their own male attraction onto us lesbians.
“Bisexual women are not lesbians…” I know this. I am a bisexual woman. A lesbian may identify as a lesbian instead of bisexual because she has no sexual or romantic desire for men (as in gender, not always necessarily just biological sex), but does have that desire for women. For example: Some lesbians may be sexually/romantically interested in both Laverne Cox, Halsey, and Cara Delevigne, but not in Chaz Bono, Adam Lambert, or Jason Mamoa because they’re all men.
“Some lesbians may be sexually/romantically interested in both Laverne Cox”
No lesbian is interested in Laverne Cox or any other male, we are not attracted to male sex.
Male sex is only appearance. It’s determined by hormones. So if a lesbian wants to transition into a man and goes to have sex with hetero biological women, how would you define her?
Hmm….
Oh and by the way, friend of mine is a trans woman dating a biological lesbian woman.
None of us are sexually attracted to any males, Hat. Your transwoman friend is either dating a straight or a bisexual woman.
There are literally zero lesbians who are capable of experiencing heterosexual attraction. Conversion therapy does not work.
Stop with this homophobic nonsense.
Hikaru,
It would be nice if you were stopping to dictate the behaviour of all the lesbians (not to mention other LGBT+ people) and acting as their spokesperson when it isn’t so.
Also calling others homophobic when you are clearly misinformed about many things overall and also display clear signs of transphobia and intersexophobia is clearly a case of pot calling the kettle black.
You are no different from a straight person who is arguing for correctional therapies. Sexual orientation, like gender identity, has many shades of grey. If you only like ‘black and white’ shades is nobody else’s business but yours.
Hikaru, get that disgusting TERF bullshit out of here. I wish I had seen this earlier so that I could have been a part of this conversation as it was happening. The views you hold are so deeply harmful and they endanger trans people’s lives. Shame on you.
If anyone sees this, please google Trans-exclusionary radical feminism. It’s a group of bigoted, nasty people that argues feminism cannot include trans women because trans women are men. That’s exactly what happened here today and I have never been more disgusted in my life.
Okatu Fairy, yes she absolutely is a bigot. The problem with her comment is not simply about lesbians being able to call themselves lesbians if they’re attracted to transwomen. Hikaru plain as day, spelled out on this thread, just made the argument that trans women are men, which is what gets trans women murdered. I’m a little amazed that no one on this thread full of socially-conscious people noticed and called this out earlier. It’s horrifying.
@ shambles
I am not going to comment on any other point in this thread except to say however distasteful you find @ Hakuri comment , she or any other woman are not “what is getting Transwomen murdered ”
You know who are Murdering Transwomen ? Men . The same men that murder ALL women and girls , straight , gay , bisexual etc
Throughout time women have been barely able to protect themselves from men but now they are responsible for getting Transwomen murdered ? I really have had enough of women being blamed for men’s vile actions and behaviors
@Shambles That’s why I was careful to hint that it’s not Hikaru’s sexual preferences that make her a bigot. A lot of TERFs use this idea that the reason why other feminists describe them as bigots is because of who they don’t want to sleep with, when really it’s their overall message about transgender women and sexuality that’s being criticized.
I’m surprised by this comment on a site like celebitchy, where commenters tend to have progressive views. A man who is dating a pre op transgender woman is dating a WOMAN. I’m not sure how that is hard to understand. Your error in critical thinking and understanding of basic gender identity (even here, in a forum where trans people seem largely understood and honored for who they are) demonstrates why a man who loves or is attracted to women would feel unease, stigma or shame about his relationship with a trans woman.
I guess I’m trying to say that while I admire your honest desire to understand these issues, I also must admonish your thinking as part of the problem. It’s 2018.
Sex =/= gender.
this is a genuine question and as I said mean with absolutely no malice. I wanted to understand myself through asking and educating myself. Am very progressive I assure you, just have not been exposed to all the information
Hikaru,
Sex doesn’t equal gender. I am an intersex person (biologically both) and I identify as both. So you are saying that gay men who date me are not real gay men because a part of me is biologically a woman?
And then if you want to know… I have had more empathy and comprehension by some hetero people than LGBT’s. Some cis gays/lesbians have really extreme views about what intersex or trans actually means.
Intersex men are men with male sex mutations. Intersex women are women with female sex mutations. There is no third intersex option that is “biologically both”. No single member of the human species is capable of producing both sperm and eggs.
Please stop spreading misinformation about intersex conditions.
Hikaru,
Given that I am an intersex person, I think I have more information than you do. And there’s no such a thing as an intersex man or woman, as biologically it doesn’t exist such a thing. When I indicate my sex/gender in forms, I tick ‘other’. Where do you even live?
Educate yourself instead of trolling the entire LGBTQI community with your misinformation.
I find your attitude really troubling and as a lesbian you are not a spokeperson for your group or anyone else with different sex/gender/sexual orientation.
FYI: intersexuality is not defined by your reproductive system as I have none of the two (I don’t produce sperm or eggs). It’s determined by your DNA sequence. Furthermore, some intersex conditions (like CAH) have serious diseases associated with them and it’s not really nice you are treating the topic with such carelessness.
Stop being obsessed with genitals. This has created a situation in which intersex people are stripped of all consent because society wants an assigned defined gender from birth. We wouldn’t need to stand such abuse and discrimination against us in a non-binary world.
FlyingHat, thank you for sharing such informative comments. Well said.
I think this all comes down to our need to label in a binary way. Hence my comment about equipment.
If you are attracted to someone, and it turns out that he presents as a man, acts as a man, looks like a man, but turns out he’s pre-op:
– does that make you any less gay?
– does it make it any less important to treat him as a man?
– and more importantly WHY DOES IT MATTER?????
You are who you are, you love who you love. The rest is just some societal classification bullsh*t that we need to get past.
We can do it! Fifty years ago, gay and bisexual would have been discussed the same way. Progress is slow, but important.
LaraK, I agree!
LaraK you make interesting points. I think the bit you’re sort of skirting around is that for a lot of people the “equipment” is a key part of the attraction. Honestly, as a straight woman, if I met someone who presented as a man and then he turned out to have a vagina, it would matter to me. I don’t think that makes me transphobic. I believe that transwomen are women and I support their right to identify that way, but let’s not pretend they are exactly the same as ciswomen from the perspective of sexual attraction.
Trixc
Sexual attraction is not based on ‘equipment’ for everybody though… I mean, it’s perfectly ok if you jump on all men you like to see what sort of package they have but it’s not for everybody like that. I am intersex, married to a gay man. I never had a ‘package’ in the real meaning as my sexual parts were butchered as a child…. So my hubby should have not married me or dump me as soon as the truth came out during dating phase. I will admit that many did, as a quite feminine man and not very manly, few gay men found me attractive…
However, thank God some can look beyond that. I wish we could all live in a non binary world and choose what fits us. In the end, it doesn’t only concern the sexual sphere. I dumped plenty of people after a date or two as I found them obnoxious or boring or simply unbearable.
And so the idiotic TERF vs. “biological parts don’t matter” discussion has reached celebitchy. Imma dunk my head into ice water now and scream.
OK Hikaru, here’s your GOLD STAR LESBIAN badge, because according to you, even though I’ve been out since 1991 I’m not “really” a lesbian since I was, GASP, married to a man for a year before I came out. Catholic-guilt-wanting-to-fit-in sort of thing but I actually cared for the guy too. Remind me again, I forget how much time needs to pass since the last penile insertion before I can be a “real” lesbian? Does sex with a strap-on dildo reset the clock?
Your comments about intersexual people, to deny the reality of someone who outs themselves as intersex is beyond reprehensible. My best friend is genderqueer, answers to both “he” and “she”.
You do you. Just don’t DARE to claim to speak for all lesbians or anyone else. You don’t do it very well.
She is so incredibly beautiful. Love her so much. I think she probably used pasties. Such a cute suit!!!
Damn, I thought Laverne has already been on a bunch of major magazines…
Is Laverne still signing petitions in support of child rapists and murderers being released from prison?
It’s not hard to imagine. As a black woman, I have been a “secret” in every single relationship I’ve been in. Even the guy who wanted to marry me was scared to introduce me to his family. Not because they were ashamed, but because they were too cowardly to stand up to their relatives’ inevitable fuckery or didn’t see the point in hurting me.
Who are you dating Lovey and where? I’m asking as a fellow black woman who has never experienced been kept a secret by a boyfriend of any ethnicity. That’s terrible that you’ve been kept hidden in every relationship.
white lesbian here. my SO did not tell anyone we were dating for a very long time. even when we had been together for over a year and living together, her mom still thought we were platonic roommates. It’s a very different situation than yours as my SO was not out yet and I wanted to be sensitive to her process, but it’s painful to be erased like that. I’m so sorry you had that experience and I hope you find someone who treats you the way you deserve.
@ Lovey
Love is when you find it , it can also be where you are looking for it
IF this is happening to you in ALL your relationships maybe there is some unpacking to do there. you are worth more than that
so sorry to hear that lovey. i think it is part of interracial dating, sadly. i was dating a black man, whose family was heavily involved in the naacp and he refused to introduce me, an asian to his family. i finally left him, could not deal with that. It’s their problem, not yours.
I haven’t picked up an issue of Cosmo in years, but I will because it’s Laverne. Luv huh! So happy we live in a time of a revitalized feminism that includes transwomen now.
Laverne Cox is gorgeous. I would date her and I’m definitely a lesbian. But she’s way out of my league.
I’m sad about the TERFs and transphobia on this thread. They definitely don’t speak for lesbians or feminists but only for themselves. The same narrow minded thinking that fuels lesbophobia (lesbians aren’t real women who should naturally want to date men therefore they are unnatural) is similar to transphobic thinking (trans women aren’t real women because their genitals don’t match a natural cis woman).
We feminists lose nothing by welcoming trans women, and we have a lot of healing to do to get out of our polarized binary thinking and stop being afraid of trans people and the shades of grey they ask us to consider.
Athletics in particular and Sports in general
Womens shelters and safe spaces
Specialist womens roles in Politics
Money for women specifically based medical research
ALL funding specifically for womens needs
Women only spaces
Being able to have an opinion withjout being subjected to violence from Trans activists
stopping child abuse and the erasure of children who may be gay under regimes that will make them barren
YES we have ALOT to lose