Stylish Celebrity Escapism
Contributing Writers
Oct 2
'07
Bai Ling wants to have a threesome with Brangelina

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Bai Ling is one of those people that are only interesting because she’s so freaking delusional. She can’t act worth beans, prances around in the most moronic outfits in Hollywood, and thinks everyone knows and loves her, when it’s more like everyone knows her as that lady that doesn’t really make sense and always flashes her nipple. I don’t really want to encourage her manic delusions or anything, but this one is sort of funny: she thinks she and Angelina Jolie had crazy chemistry and should have gotten it on… and now that Brad’s in her life, Bai is fine with him jumping in on the good times too.

“Angelina Jolie is so hot that she even drives her female costars wild! Actress Bai Ling, who worked with Jolie on two projects — Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow and Jolie’s documentary A Place in Time says that the two shared a ‘special attraction’ during filming.

“‘I felt this energy between us, when we look at each other there’s an energy, an attraction,’ Ling told Us Weekly at our Hot Hollywood party on September 26. ‘Her eyes transfer a sexual energy to me that makes her irresistible.’ Ling said that Jolie, 32, made her a promise while on the set of Sky Captain. She recalled: ‘Angelina said, ‘Next time we’ll play lovers.’”

“So did the twosome get physical off-camera? ‘We could have hooked up, but it just wasn’t the right time or place. But she told me, “My heart’s open to you.” Ling continued: ‘She is like me. She is totally open sexually.’

“The China native said that the last time she saw Jolie was at this year’s Tribeca Film Festival. She added: “I’ve always thought Brad [Pitt] was the sexiest man on the planet. So now that Brad and Angelina are together, now maybe I could experience both at the same time!’”

[From Us Weekly]

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Gross. Not two women together, or even a threesome, but just the thought of Bai Ling with absolutely anything other than a ravenous tiger makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit. That woman is cra-to-the-z. I just made that up, and I’m going with it. Let’s hope it catches on. Seriously, there is this level of delusional that’s funny, there’s a level of delusional that needs medication, and then on top of both those levels, there’s Bai Ling. A bit of (unintentionally hilarious) history of Bai Ling’s delusions:

“Many of the events in Bai’s past have only been verified by Bai herself; her past in China is especially in doubt. No independent source besides Bai has verified her claims of her time spent in the Chinese army. The same is true of her time spent in New York as a visiting scholar, when her age would have made her a suspiciously young candidate for such an honor, especially given the paucity of her academic achievements. Finally, her participation in the Tiananmen Square protests would have been quite remarkable, given the fact that she attended the 1989 Moscow International Film Festival one month later as a member of an official Chinese movie group.

“Bai once claimed publicly that she was engaged to Nick Carter, but Carter immediately denied it and the two have never married. She has further claimed that she was “cut out” of Star Wars due to her appearance in Playboy magazine while also insinuating a large role for her character; George Lucas denied this, citing the facts that the edit had been done months before the Playboy appearance was known and stating that Bai’s role was only a few lines of unimportant dialogue. Additionally, Go Fug Yourself has documented Bai numerous times appearing publicly in revealing outfits that happen to “slip” and show her nipples in pictures, despite the fact that she was attending as a guest at events with no overt sexual content.”

[From Wikipedia]

Now I know Angelina Jolie has been pretty public in the past with the fact that she goes both ways – and she used to be pretty messed up, drugs and cutting and wearing vials of Billy Bob Thorton’s blood around her neck or some such thing. Though to be fair, most of us have at least half a beaker of Billy Bob Thorton’s blood somewhere in our homes, so that’s not all that bizarre, in and of itself. But given Bai’s longstanding history of lying about random shit (yeah I really believe you were at Tiananmen Square you crazy, self-serving wacko) I really doubt much of any of this is true. But I look forward to hearing about how she was actually Neil Armstrong.

Picture Note by Jaybird: Here’s some assorted Bai Ling skankiness. I spared y’all the nipple shots. Images thanks to PR Photos.

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Written by JayBird

Posted in Angelina Jolie, Bai Ling, Brad Pitt, Brangelina, Delusional, Sex

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