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As many know, Jezebel gets the advanced copies of the weekly tabloids and disseminates them for their readers. They don’t get as in-depth as we do, but they often break stories from the print issues during their weekly “Midweek Madness” tabloid-a-thon. Since the tabloids seem to be in a snit about their online content lately, this story comes from the print issues of Us Weekly and Star, via Jezebel. First, Us Weekly is running a seemingly harmless story about how Jessica Simpson is “turning to alcohol to deal with her breakup” with Tony Romo. Their source? Jessica’s drunken haze at her hairdresser Ken Paves’ birthday party. Over the weekend, Page Six claimed Jessica’s extreme diet was what made her so drunky-drunk, but I guess we’re to believe that she’s just a big lush now that she’s had 200 pounds of Romo douche removed. Puh-lease. It’s not like she’s Brad Pitt!
Us Weekly also has something about John Mayer - apparently, Jessica let him take pictures of her naked, and now Mayer shows those pictures to his friends. I have no idea if these are recent phone pics, or if they’re old. But I do know that Mayer is f-cking disgusting. Anyhoodle, the real Simpson dirt is coming from Star Magazine! They’re claiming Jess is planning a “multi-million dollar tell-all” about her relationships with Tony Romo, John Mayer, Dane Cook and… Jude Law! Oh. My. God. Jessica could have been Jude’s random baby-mama!
Jessica Simpson is planning to write a multi-million dollar tell-all, which will spill details about her ex-boyfriends and her “love luggage” — her weight.
Tony Romo liked her to dress up as a cheerleader, but with garter belts, stockings and high heels. And he’d bring food into the bedroom.
John Mayer would talk baby talk in bed and was always begging her to experiment — he wanted her to go to sex parties “just to look.”
Jess might reveal how she fell for Dane Cook while filming Employee Of The Month “when he made her laugh so hard he made her pee her pants on the set.”
And! A source says: “She’ll probably write about one wild night she had with Jude Law in New York, and how close she came to being his baby mama.”
[From Star Magazine via Jezebel]
What’s shocking to me is that in a story that involved Jessica Simpson, John Mayer and Dane Cook, the word “pee” only made it into the Cook section. As for the Jude Law revelation - do you believe it? It might make sense. We know he’ll put his d-ck in anything. And we know Jessica has horrible taste in men. Sounds like they could have worked it out, at least for a night. Although I tend to think Jude prefers petite, boyish women, I can see him getting hot for Jessica “Look at those D-Cups” Simpson for a moment. On a related note, aren’t there a few guys missing from Jessica’s tell-all? She also hooked up with that Maroon 5 douche, Adam Whats-his-guts… Levine. Or was that an urban legend? And didn’t she also nail Johnny Knoxville at some point? I want to hear about them too!
Here’s Jess and a few of her recent exes.
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Books, Dane Cook, Jessica Simpson, John Mayer, Jude Law, Sex, Tony Romo
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38 Responses to “Jessica Simpson plans tell-all on Tony Romo, Dane Cook & Jude Law?”
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I’m sure her editor will be suicidal towards the end of the book. I’d read it though.
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SO wasn’t she all like “I’m a good Christian/no sex before marriage” Chicklet? This is what happens when bubblegum virgins get married just to get laid & sell the wedding/first year of wedded bliss to MTV. AND have their father as an agent.
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Well, she did say she has secret lovers at a concert once. maybe Jude was one of them. At this point, I don’t really care what’s true and what’s not. Just as long as its entertaining.
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When the book finally (ever) comes out, it will be so sanitized and there won’t be any “names” just references.
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Hmmmm… I think I must have been under my favorite rock when Levine became a d-bag. For idle curiosity’s sake, what did he do?
For all of the nasty press she gets, it would be poetic justice if Jess actually wrote a tell all about those losers.
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Wow. Papa Joe is really trying to squeeze out every single drop of milk from his cash cow of a daughter.
Why write a tell-all? Isn’t Jessica Simpson signed on to host “The Price of Beauty”? I’d imagine that that series, plus Jessica’s many side businesses (hair products, ProActiv spokesperson, fashion line, shoe line, etc.), would bring in tons and tons of money already.
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This seems totally unlikely, as JS has barely talked about exes even in interviews and never ever admitted to Dane Cook. Surprisingly I don’t think she has reached that level of desperation yet - she still has her new reality show to cling to. I like Jessica, and judging from her past career moves a tell-all book seems totally unlikely. Only people who have nothing left to lose go that route.
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I have my doubts this is true, but, I’d love to see Romo’s face when he hears about it. lol
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If this is true she is asking for more humilation.
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HOOOOLY- that pic you posted with her and john mayer i literally thought was her WAX figure. thats just creepy! i mean, shes really gorgeous, but that pic is pretty awful.
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I hope she does it. I generally believe in rising above the fray but this girl has been consistently sweet and her guys have been … not.
A tell-all could be equal parts revenge and relfective. Maybe in the retelling she’ll learn something and choose better moving forward…
Whatever, I totally want to hear about these DB’s pecadillos.
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I don’t think it was Knoxville. I heard it was Bam Margera who she met through Johnny.
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I don’t believe it but if she were to write a book she would have to use a ghost writer.
She seems to have run out of job option and grasping at straws. -
She allegedly banged both Knoxville and Margera. Johnny first and then Margera when Knoxville was done with her. It was kind of a joke that she slept with everyone from Jackass except Steve-O and Wee Man.
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huh that would be career suicide. Well I guess she hasn’t had much of a career since newlyweds…
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Really, wouldn’t the tell all be about her, not the dudes? It’s no shame for a guy to have numerous conquests, still not so cool for a woman. Don’t these people consider the fact that they may have children one day?
Please, folks, let discretion be the better part of honour (valor), and let speculation be the only history of misdeeds. -
i wanna hear about T.O. going down on Romo……sorry, couldn’t help it
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Great idea Jessica, if you don’t want to ever get a date again, duh! What a brain she is.
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Who cares. Not all relationships work out. Perhaps she should stop being so damn needy then her boyfriends may stick around longer.
I think it’s her insecurity that drives them away.
Yeah Jess - humiliate them, i’m sure things will work out great for you afterwards.
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I want to find out if it’s true that Jensen Ackles cries when he gets near a vagina.
Kidding, people, kidding…
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I’ve never been a huge fan of Jessica, but I’d love for her to get this all out. Yes, it would be interesting to read - but it would also be an amazing sense of closure/purging for her. Blogging on myspace sure helped the hell outta me when I was going through my breakups. I say do it girl!
And yes- insecurities are truly the termites of relationships…but I wouldn’t be so arrogant as to say it was HER insecurities. Perhaps- but I will not judge her relations with lovers, as I was not the one there for the inner-workings of her relationships.
p.s. Enough about her weight- geeze; she is not huge at all-her size looks great.
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You go Jessica people just do not understand how men can be. They are just PIGS not all of them just some of them. They think they are god and we cant live without them. YOU SHOW THEM GIRL give the juice.
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AWW i feel pity for her. You should never kiss and tell. What’s her ordeal? It’s making her look really trashy. Just like those girls who sleeps with guys and then feel they have to brag about it. Maybe to make them feel better, but it’s just bringing her rep down way down. As for her christian side she actually didn’t sleep with anyone until she was married. What’s going on in her head? She needs help.
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In answer to GiGi? It’s men that sleep with women and feel that they have to brag about it. And, for firestarter and pleasures: Get a life. It’s okay for a dude to brag about numerous conquests?
How old are you pig? Really old I’m sure
with an opnion like that! It’s your opinion and that’s okay but it does not make it right. JS is a beautiful lady and Tony Romo is a pig. She is not desperate, she earns enough money on her own. She won’t write a book! -
What someone “should” do and “will” do are both subjective and objective- and def fall under the category of NOYB. I vote for therapeutic purging any day. Life’s too short to worry about what ppl think of your kissing & telling.
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I don’t think it is necessary for Jessica to write a book. The way Romo had the audacity to dump her the day before her birthday speaks volumes about HIM. After using Jess & Tiger Woods as publicity and means to draw attention to himself not even a week prior, and then do that to you . . . Don’t muddy the waters, girlfriend, let the spotlight stay on the guilty party and how they present themselves in the limelight. No response from you would say everything.
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I think everybody needs to stop Hatin on Jess because she’s had a pretty hard and emotional life. So what if her and Nicks marriage was on tv atleast she did wait till marriage to have sex now how many of you people can say that hmmmm…. and shes just trying to do whatever she can to support herself just like anybody else in this world she has her own way of doing that!!! So if she writes this book i may or may not read but atleast im not sittin here talkin mad shit about her! Leave the girl alone!!!!
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Just let it go, Jess, and work on yourself to bw able to make better choices. Start by hiring a new agent and manager.
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The best thing JS can do is start working on herself and stop looking outward for happiness. Such neediness will drive almost anyone away. Also, she needs to cut those apron strings from her dad. Sounds like a very unhealthy relationship and has probably hurt her more than she realizes. Time to grow up.
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Baby talk in bed?!?!
Ugh. -
JS is gorgeous and the media is making her out to be such an ugly person. I think she is sweet, honest, and hard working. I do agree she needs to get away from her father. JS, Tony is a jerk, use to like him was a fan since I live in Dallas but can’t stand him now. Hope he sprains pinkie again.
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It wasnt too long ago JS was calling Tony the future “Baby Maker” What happened. I think she needs to just leave it alone. Somebody else said that she will just humiliate herself. I agree. She’s a bitter woman or should I say Bimbo
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OMG, POOR JESS HAS NO TALENT AT ALL. I USE TO LOVE TO WATCH HER ON THE NEWLY WEDS B/C SHE MADE ALL OF US SEEM SO SMART. SHE HAS REALLY BAD LUCK WITH MEN. IMO I THINK SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN WISE TO LISTEN TO HER HEART ABUT NICK AND NOT HER DADDY WHO DID NOTHING BUT BRAG ABOUT HER BOOBS, I MEAN I THINK HE LIKES HIS OWN DAUGHTER. ASHLEE WAS SMART ENOUGH TO GET OUT FROM UNDER JOE. JESS WAS NOT THAT BRIGHT,SO IT STANDS TO REASON ALL THESE GUYS ARE DUMPING HER MAYBE B/C OF DADDY JOE? I FEEL BAD FOR HER, BUT HER MOVIES WERE JUST HORRIBLE(THE ONE’S I BOUGHT AT K-MART WHEN THEY WENT DOWN TO THE 5.00 BIN.
LORD JESS YOU MADE A HORRIBLE MISTAKE LETTING NICK GO. TOGETHER YOU WERE GREAT WITHOUT HIM YOUR ZIPPO HUN. GOOD LUCK AND PLEASE DON’T EVER TRUST SOMEONE LIKE JOHN MAYERS AGAIN. TO ME HE IS THE BIGGEST JERK GOING. -
John Meyer is the douche? lmfao…you don’t even know if it’s true that he has pictures like that and if he does, she’s old enough to know better not to do anything so stupid.
She’s a talentless chick who got lucky and then screwed it up when they forced her to perform on stage and she was horrible. She needs to take her daddy and move on and stop whining about all the guys that broke up with her. After all, she broke her exhusband’s heart over Meyer so she gets what she gets.
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Jessica’s not writing a book !! Her incestuous father is.
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Seriously people! There are no naked cell phone pics of JS. JM did not ask JS to go to sex parties. There is no tell-all book in the works. If JS screwed all those guys then good for her, at least she has a REAL sex life or at least you all need to believe she does. She’s not a great actress, she’s a passable singer, she’s undeniably beautiful and certainly rich, other than that, why is everyone always on her back?
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@Thais… Can any of these Tv Hollywood types write? Not 95% of them. Can they hire shadow writers and do they? YES
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whatever!
can she even write?
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