Those young royals are always getting themselves into trouble. Whether it’s Prince Harry snorting alcohol, feeling up random girls’ boobs (alright I guess I should correct that based on the picture: feeling up random girls’ implants), or injecting the blood of kittens directly into his veins, there’s always something raunchy going on. Okay I’m not sure you can inject the blood of kittens into your veins – or that it would do anything if you did – but I also didn’t know you could snort alcohol, and Prince Harry definitely did that. So he’s probably up on some other things I don’t know about too.

The latest royal debacle takes it up a notch: one of the younger royals has been blackmailed over a sex tape. Well, a tape that discusses sex. But the press is calling it a sex tape because that’s more sensational, so I’m going to follow their blatantly irresponsible lead. The tape involves an aid to one of the young royals, who discusses having sex with said royal, and then does a line of coke. The coke was supposedly supplied by the royal. The police won’t say which kid it is, though the coke makes one think of Prince Harry. However an article mentions both the princes and their cousin, Zara Phillips as well as Lord Frederick Windsor. Then it goes on to say it’s definitely not either of the princes. I don’t really buy that, but I’m not going to piss off the royal family by claiming otherwise.

Two men, were arrested and charged with blackmail over the incident. Socialite Ian Strachan and Sean McGuigan were charged at Westminster Magistrates’ Court. Strachan claims to be somewhat connected to the royal family.

On September 11, the two men arranged to meet their source at London’s Hilton Hotel to negotiate the sale of the material, but were instead met by undercover police who promptly arrested them. A police source said: “We were contacted by the staff of a member of the royal family who said they were being targeted by extortionists. “After discussions with the royal and staff we began a covert operation. Phone calls involving the alleged blackmailers were recorded. It culminated last month in the alleged extortionists attending a meeting at a Mayfair hotel with an undercover officer. The meeting was recorded on audio tape and film.

“After a discussion between the police officer and the men, a pre-arranged signal was given and other officers moved in to arrest them. A mobile phone containing images was seized. Several addresses in west London were searched.” Strachan told his lawyers he has met Princes William and Harry twice, as well as Princess Anne’s daughter Zara Phillips and Lord Frederick Windsor.

Stachan’s lawyer denies his client has ever blackmailed a royal family member. He said: “At no time did my client call the royal household. He in fact called the private business office of the individual concerned. My client denies that he asked for any money and that it was in fact the office of the individual concerned who first offered money.” The alleged royal is not a senior member of the family, is yet to perform royal duties and is definitely not William or Harry.

[From Monsters & Critics]

My money’s still on Harry, regardless of the denials. Though I don’t know a thing about the characters of Zara Phillips or Lord Frederick Windsor. Zara Phillips is Princess Anne’s (Prince Charles’s sister) daughter, an acclaimed equestrian, and involved with multiple charities. According to Wikipedia, Frederick Windsor is an “English financial analyst who is the only son of Prince and Princess Michael of Kent. In 1999, Lord Frederick admitted experimenting with cocaine. ‘I admit it is true,’ he said. ‘It is very difficult to avoid getting into this sort of thing when you move in these circles, but I don’t blame anyone else for the incident.’” So that makes him a likely candidate, but I’m still putting my money on Harry. If it were Lord Frederick, I really doubt it would have gotten so much attention. But I guess time will tell.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Zara Phillips at the 2012 Olympic Site in East London on September 25th. Image thanks to PR Photos.