'09
This week’s National Enquirer story on Brangelina is actually a really funny read. It’s all about how Brad looks (and most likely smells) really gross, and how Angelina is trying to force Brad into cleaning up and, you know, picking up a razor once in a blue moon. Brad did look very, very scruffy during his appearance at the San Sebastian Film Festival two weeks ago – but at last week’s appearance at the Clinton Global Initiative, he seemed to have a least bathed and trimmed his unruly beard. Whatever… it’s still funny. The crux of the story is that Angelina Jolie has given Brad Pitt a nickname – “Billy Goat Gruff”. What the Enquirer fails to note is that Angelina was actually married to a man named Billy who actually looked, smelled and acted like a horny old goat. Do you think Angelina moans “Billy… Goat” when she’s in bed with Brad?
[Sources] say Angelina is demanding that Brad clean up his image. “Brad originally won Angie over with his sharp-dressed appearance and good grooming,” said a longtime friend of the couple. “But four years and six kids into their relationship, Brad has allowed himself to fall victim to middle-aged schlubbiness.”
“When Angelina saw pictures of Brad at the [San Sebastian Film Festival], she thought he looked hideous… his beard is unkempt now that she can’t even stand kissing him, and she started calling him ‘Billy Goat Gruff’ to shame him into getting rid of it.”
At wit’s end, Angelina has called on Brad’s favorite designer, Tom Ford, to help with a fashion makeover.
“Angie called Tom personally and handpicked thousands of dollars worth of casual and dress-up clothes for Brad,” added the friend. “She’s desperate to get the old, stylish Brad back.”
[From the National Enquirer, print edition, October 12 2009]
Um, Angelina, the problem is not the clothing. Well, I mean, when he dresses down, he looks totally average, and no one thinks he should really be wearing a Tom Ford suit when he’s out gerbil shopping. By the way, I would pay a lot of money to hear a phone conversation between Tom Ford and Angelina. Can you imagine? Anyway, the problem is Brad’s crazy hobo vibe. Here’s the weird thing – I actually prefer the unkempt facial hair mess to that ugly mustache he wore for Inglourious Basterds. Ugh.
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt
- TV Shows that outstayed their welcome [Pajiba]
- Goopy and Cameron Diaz went to a Coldplay concert [Lainey Gossip]
- The bacon milkshake! [D-Listed]
- Ashanti looks... good? [Go Fug Yourself]
- 20 great songs under 2 minutes [Fark]
- Snooki and J-Woww on notice [IDLYITW]
- Jennifer Aniston through the years [Popsugar]
- Kirsten Dunst looks so pretty here [Evil Beet]
- Mila Kunis without makeup [Celebslam]
- The awful cover letter all of Wall St. is mocking [Gawker]
35 Responses to “Angelina Jolie hates scruff, nicknames Brad “Billy Goat Gruff””
Leave a Reply
By commenting you agree to our comment policy
Use the "Report this comment as spam or abuse" link to ask the moderators to delete a comment if it's offensive. If your comment disappears, it may have been eaten by the spam filter. Please e-mail cbcomments at gmail.com to get it retrieved.
Get an icon next to your name by signing up for a free Gravatar
He had it at the IB premier in LA and Angie did not seem to have a problem. Another NE lie to throw Brad and Angie on their cover. I am so tired of these tabs and their lies. Also I can not believe that CNN used In Touch as a source for a news story about Polansky.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
ahahahahahha !!! oh boy !!!
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I will take billy-goat Brad if Angie doesn’t want him.. I would even live in a barn with him!
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I think this story is fake. That said, I think the facial hair looks gross!!! I approve of goatees, mustaches, even well groomed mustaches but his goatee is unkempt, mixed in with gray, and clashes with his dyed hair!!
Report this comment as spam or abuse
It was worst 10 years ago when he had that terrible cromangNonish cavemannish beard.
Isn’t that for his next movie ?
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Brad has been wearing a beard/goatee off and on for a couple of years. So saying Angelina hates it out of the blue doesn’t make sense. For the last couple of months it looks like he hasn’t trimmed it and it makes me wonder if it’s for a movie. I think Brad looks good with a neat beard/goatee but not the wild mess he has going on.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
His face pains me. Shave it off, Brad.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Of course she liked the way he looked when they first started dating. Jen Aniston was dressing him at the time….lol…
Report this comment as spam or abuse
well, isn’t that just so fucking precious!!!???? Does her call her Morticia???
WHO CARES ANYMORE??? not me. bye.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Angelina IMO doesn’t try to change her men after being with them. I know there are women out there who harp on everything thier men wear to what they can eat and do but Angelina doesn’t come acrossed as being a dictator. She seems to be so easy going, heck she wears and looks how she wants also, just like their children.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
They are ridiculous!
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Brad should make a deal with Angelina: I will shave off this mess on my face if you promise to burn that black bo-ho mess of a dress you schlep around in every other day. They are swimming in dangerous waters as a couple if they no longer care about their appearance…don’t do it for the masses, do it for yourselves!
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Colonel Sanders called…he wants his look back.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
They are swimming in dangerous waters as a couple if they no longer care about their appearance…don’t do it for the masses, do it for yourselves!
————————————
Or maybe they are swimming in such marvelous waters that they don’t even need to care about their clothes anymore since they see each other’s beauty with the eyes of love and find each other edible the way they are emotionnally and physically with or without clothes on….
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Why put up so many Brad&Angie tab stories. There are so many other more celeb stories to use. The triangle thing is getting very old. This is why these two don’t need a pr team. There name is never far from the media’s memory.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I prefer his current look to that scary, scary ‘stache in the same way I prefer having a nasty head cold to having a sinus infection.
I predict the next round of headlines will be all about how Brad is using his facial hair as a bargaining chip. “Brad To Angie: I’ll Shave If You’ll Promise Not To Acquire Any Additional Children While I’m Not Looking”
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I don’t know why this man just doesn’t embrace his inner sexy and get rid of that fug beard. If I were Angelina I’d have shaved it off in his sleep.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Jocelina — I’m totally going to use that head cold/sinus infection comparison every chance I get!!!
In the meantime, Brad looks so happy and relaxed. So what if he looks like a hobo?
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Isn’t the scraggy facial hair for Z land???? Uh yes it is, it starts filming in Nov.
That said anyone that believes these two are still hot and heavy in love is pathetic, these two are so over, it is obvious to any one with a brain.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
“Angie called Tom personally and handpicked thousands of dollars worth of casual and dress-up clothes for Brad,”
Dress UP? She bought him a little red riding hood outfit, chewbacca ensemble, a pirate costume for Halloween, plus a ‘catholic school-girl fantasy’ kilt and naughty-nurse kit for adult time?
Report this comment as spam or abuse
“What the Enquirer fails to note is that Angelina was actually married to a man named Billy who actually looked, smelled and acted like a horny old goat”
I’m sorry, but THAT is Classic. Nicely done.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
some of these comments are HILARIOUS.
while I don’t believe that Jolie cares one way or another about his beard, I do believe that his personal hygiene is lacking.
I remember reading stories about that well before he and Aniston were together…probably around the time he was with Juliette Lewis. Basically, the man doesn’t bathe often and doesn’t like to use deodorant. granted, that was years ago, but maybe he’s fallen into his old habits.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
OMG lol @ Lita! That is HILARIOUS!
Personally, it doesn’t bother me at all. I really like scruff & beards. I love me some mountain men!
Report this comment as spam or abuse
The triangle thing is getting very old. This is why these two don’t need a pr team. There name is never far from the media’s memory.
—————————————
There is nothing in this story that even refers to the triangle. Read!
Anyways, brad is looking bad, angie cant seem to stop wearing that same dress. Disgusting.
Looks and smells like a goat!! Hilarious!!
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Remember the baby wipes story? How he keeps himself so clean on the set of sweaty movies with baby wipes? Heehee.
I agree – hobo vibe. He probably gets fed up with looking like a pretty boy and goes off the deep end and ends up looking like a recluse. At least his body still rocks!
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Funny, one of the lingering rumours about Brad that I’ve heard for years is that he is super high maintenance. Allegedly, he’s the type to go in for facials, manicures and designer clothes.
Beards =/= Filthiness.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
she must read dlisted…ha.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
And why he had this style?????????
He hate Angelina??????????????????
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Well according to the NE (2 months ago )they broke up so why would she care what he looks like since they are no longer together according to the tabs. ITA a woman who marries BBT can’t be upset with Brad’s beard
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Brad and Angie are in Syria on a UN trip today.Living their lives and ignoring the tabs
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Cassie (#29, now why would you believe anything the lying tabs print?! They have NOT broken up, and were photographed this weekend by someone who was in same ice cream parlor they were with their twins, looking happy and smiling from ear to ear. This is a bogus story, as the rag tabs apparently can’t come up with anything else to print at the moment. Stop believing what you read, especially about these two. Pitt said recently that Angelina is his soul mate and that he is HAPPY!!
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Lin being photographed together does not mean they are still together romantically. Big deal, they have a huge family they created way too fast that they have to raise together, I am sure there will be many more pics of them together, but that does not mean they are “together” romantically. I think that has been dead for months, but they still have family obligations.
Oh and also Brad did not say Ang was his soul mate, he actually denied it in an interview, IB press stuff. Yes a mag said he said that but when asked he denied it, then they asked ang and she said well Brad is my soulmate, it was pretty funny, maybe you can find it on you tube.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
….
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Maybe he doesn’t want her to touch him and get yet another kid that they can’t keep grounded in one home for stability.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I’m sure his facial hair is for whatever movie he’s doing. What’s he filming, or getting ready to film now?
Last time he had a lot of hair it was for Legends of the Fall, or for that movie he did set in Tibet.
Report this comment as spam or abuse