Stop talking Jon Gosselin: ‘I am the most photographed person on the planet’

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Jon Gosselin capped off his media blitz last week with two very long head-scratching interviews with AOL websites PopEater and Parent Dish. We’ve been limiting our Gosselin coverage where possible, and I asked MSat to cover some Gosselin news last Friday because it was worth repeating but I just couldn’t bring myself to write much more about this. I have this compulsion to keep up with every little detail of a story and when it comes to the Gosselins there’s just way too much to keep track of lately. Plus it can be incredibly frustrating to pay too much attention to those people, especially Jon.

Enter the epically frustrating and unintentionally hilarious quotes from daddy douche himself. Jon, who is accused of pilfering $230,000 from his family’s joint account and leaving his estranged wife with just $1,000 to pay the bills, defends himself against Kate’s accusations of stealing money “If I was going to steal $230,000, I would have just stolen $2 million,” talks about how he’s hounded by the paparazzi, calling himself “the most photographed person on the planet,” and goes on about his newfound interest in Judiasm following his relationship with a Jewish woman, Hailey Glassman. He pretty much sounds like an idiot the entire time. There are some wise observations in his flurry of words, though, particularly the fact that he’s overexposed. Now I wonder whose fault that is. Here are some choice quotes. If you have the time, interest and the high level of tolerance required to read through the interviews, you can see them on PopEater and Parentdish.

Claims he’s taken “the high road”
I feel like I’m nomadic. I’m in New York, Reading [Pennsylvania], L.A. I have an apartment in New York, on the West Side. I could sleep in my apartment on my 8,000-square-foot property, but that would make Kate uncomfortable. I take the high road.

I never said anything demeaning about Kate, just that once on Good Morning America about a month ago or so, I lose track of time. I said I despised her; maybe I despised the things she does. That was the first interview in 4 ½ years by myself. -Parentdish

On how Kate is a puppet of TLC
She goes on Regis and The View and has no idea of women’s rights. She doesn’t even vote, which is disgusting. How could she go on a talk show if she doesn’t know what’s going on in the world? She’s fed lines from TLC. I’m not bashing her — it’s wake up and get on board, take this out of the court and let’s settle it. – Parentdish

On how he’s famous and hounded by paparazzi
There are 65 paparazzi following me in Reading so I don’t stay there. Our Nielsons [ratings] are 11 million. That’s like the population of Pennsylvania…

Every talk show wants us. I am the most photographed person the planet. Kate is the fifth most popular person in the world this year, and I’m the second most popular. Michael Jackson is the first. I’m like, ‘Wake up, Kate.’ -Parentdish

On how he didn’t steal the money
The cool thing was me and Kate never relied on money, we relied on each other, and now it’s like money money money. I don’t even care about the money. If I was going to steal $230,000, I would have just stolen $2 million. It’s all so stupid. -Popeater

On his newfound interest in Judiasm
Everyone in my life is Jewish now, my attorney. I love it. I’m now half Jewish and half Korean. The family values are great…

I have a therapist. But hanging around Jewish people you don’t need to talk to anyone else. My parents and grandparents are divorced and I want to break the pattern. I have Hailey and Mark Heller, my attorney, my therapist. They’re all Jewish. I watch them and I confide in them, especially Hailey. She is my best friend. She’ll tell me if I do something wrong. God has put these people in my life for a reason. My inner circle is Jewish. I only care what they think. I never talked about anything until therapy. Kate never wanted to go to marriage counseling. The thing in therapy is about teaching me how to talk to my kids. -Parentdish

On if he’s going to do that Divorced Dad’s show – no, unless it’s a “documentary”
Absolutely never. I will never do a reality show again. If I do, it’s a documentary on reality TV. I thought DDC was a good idea, but then I feel I have better things to do with my time than to do another show. DDC would take time from my kids. -Parentdish

On how he’s writing a book
I started writing a book. My book says it all. It will teach fathers a lesson. -Parentdish

On how he’s overexposed and Kate Major and Stephanie Santoro are liars
It gets to be ridiculous, like who are these people to say things about me when they don’t know me, such as Kate Major and Stephanie [Santoro] — all of those people who are profiteering off of lies and my life. Kate Major makes about $110,000 off of her lies, Stephanie makes about $75,000-$100,000 off of her lies. They say anything and people buy it, but my word’s not worth anything because I’m so overexposed. I can’t defend myself, I can just prove that they’re liars which I basically already have. I can’t really do anything else except in the court of public opinion. I always think of this whole thing like high school. It’s very cliquey and really gossipy. One girl says something to another, then it winds up here … one says something about a relationship or breakup, then it’s everywhere. It’s totally like high school just on a global scale. – Popeater

On his “bad decisions”
Meeting Kate Major [former reporter for Star magazine] and Stephanie [Santoro], the nanny. Those were two things. – Parentdish

[From Popeater and Parentdish where noted]

I don’t know where to begin, and my brain switched off several minutes ago, but I can say that I arranged the quotes above, and you can see where Jon contradicts himself, sometimes in the same interview. We’ve been inundated with news about these idiots for six months and now that their divorce has reached a fever pitch they’re both dragging out all the details in public. Jon’s media appearances have only made him seem like more of complete ass than he did before. Many of you have been commenting that you’re “team kids,” and I would agree but say I’m leaning heavily in Kate’s direction – if only because Jon keeps pushing me there by continuing to talk.

Just as I was about to publish this story I noticed that there are new photos of Jon Gosselin hanging out with Michael Lohan in Reading on Sunday. Nice to know their bromance hasn’t suffered through Jon’s difficult divorce. *eyeroll*

Credit: INFPhoto.com

 

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31 Responses to “Stop talking Jon Gosselin: ‘I am the most photographed person on the planet’”

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  1. MSat says:

    He keeps saying in every interview that he can prove Kate is lying, but he never actually does.

    Does he understand that just saying “I can prove it” isn’t, you know, proof?

  2. Firestarter says:

    SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT THE HELL UP YOU DISGUSTING LITTLE CREEP!

    I HATE THIS MAN!

  3. Cristina says:

    The biggest mistake is meeting the 2 women? What? What an absolve of blame. No, him making the conscious decision to have affairs wasn’t the issue. The issue was that poor Jon was forced to meet them

  4. Lantana says:

    His grandparents are divorced. His parents are divorced. He wants to “break the pattern”? How exactly? I guess maybe his dad and grandpa weren’t manwhores. That must be his highly evolved idea of breaking the pattern that mere mortals just can’t understand.

  5. Kerri says:

    Firestarter i totally agree with you. My eyes and ears are bleeding from continously listening to and reading about this fat, slobby piece of shit.

    For goodness sakes just shut the hell up.

  6. Celebitchy says:

    @MSat – he had a withdrawl slip on ET claiming he only took out $22k – but it was just for his last withdrawl amount. Kate had an e-mail from the bank that showed the amounts and dates of Jon’s withdrawls and he took out $230k total from 8/10 – 9/29.

  7. Popcorny says:

    Great gawd!
    All weekend I had been anticipating the shifting of his moronic mug and article … -actually looking forward to Monday for once.
    So Monday comes and … (insert Freddy Krueger theme)(chee chee cheee) … the muddachucka is baaaa-aaack!
    So much for self-restraint, Celebitchy!
    -and so much for breakfast, Mondays, hope and sanity.
    *ralph*
    I scream vicariously through you, Firestarter. Thank you.

  8. Beth says:

    Did he actually say he’s taking the high road and spoke badly about Kate once? He really needs a new publicist and lawyer because the more he says, the less likable and credible Jon becomes. Since Jon and Michael weren’t seen together I thought one of them wised up and realized that being together brought their reputation down even further. I guess they thought any kind of publicity was worth it.

  9. Westender says:

    What I do not understand is why some women find this man attractive? He is whiney and every photo of I see, his face looks like that of a goldfish in a glassbowl. Gross

  10. Maritza says:

    Now that Jon & Kate is all over the news, what ever happened to Octomom? I’m kind of missing her craziness.

  11. gg says:

    LOL excellently put, Westender. I’ve been trying to detail this myself for awhile. You nailed it.

    On Jon’s quote, my answer — NO, you are just the most photographed fat slob idiot on the planet. Put down the milkshake, flubberboy.

  12. GOMO1313 says:

    Jon please shut up….you don’t really think about what is coming out of your mouth when you say these ridiculous things. You are not the most photographed person in the world..not even close! See if you can go a whole week without talking to these paps. Stay out of the papers, mags etc. Stay in the house and paint a room or something. Do something constructive instead of destructive!

  13. original kate says:

    the most photographed person on the planet? yeah, he’s more photographed than barak obama and brangelina rolled into one. god, what a douchebag. ugh.

  14. Guest says:

    someone text him a stfu memo…

  15. kim says:

    Maritza,Dang I forgot about the Octomom

  16. sarajane says:

    Jon Gosselin: ‘I am the most delusional person on the planet’

    Next to Dina “Lindsay is a genius” Lohan, of course.

  17. Shelly says:

    He doesn’t care about the money? Jon, can I borrow your rose-colored glasses because you’re certainly seeing such a pretty view of the world right now….you’re an idiot and you need to go away.

  18. STFUJonDouche says:

    The more he opens his big, ignorant mouth, the more I now see why Kate had to try to be his parent as well. He is a big, arrogant, ignorant windbag. Go away you ignorant POS whiny wimp of a man.

  19. Alexa says:

    Wow! If ever there were a Jon vs. Kate poll, I would have been Team Jon because of my strong dislike of Kate. I see her as being a self-centered, judgmental, manipulative, petty, immature, and mean control freak. (Also – Kate reminds me of my own cruel mother, my subsequent painful childhood, and my former slick-talking, psychopathic boss.) Jon had to behave in a super extraordinarily horrifying way for me to change teams . . . and sadly, he has. Thanks A LOT, Jon. (sigh)

  20. Feebee says:

    Jon had it soooo good. Most of the program’s viewership saw Kate as the villianous emotionally-abusive shrew. Then he apparently “grew a pair” and the world found out he’s a lazy moron who makes bad choices and has revealed that he’s a delusional douchebag. He’s a laughing stock. Hero to zero. Give it up man, nobody cares. Stop talking!

  21. yadira says:

    That’s right, where did Octomom go?

  22. Shay says:

    @yadira

    I think he’s making Octomom look like a saint.

    @westender

    I don’t think women find him attractive. They find the fame attractive.

  23. Just a Poster says:

    I read this after I dropped the kiddos off at school and well.. it fried my little sleepy Monday Morning mind so much, I had to go back to sleep.

    Reading it again after I became more awake and alert..WTF??!!??!!

    But on a side note, we finally found a good use for the word “Stupider” He is the living proof that word exists.

  24. UrbanRube says:

    “It will teach fathers a lesson.” Yeah, like “Don’t waste money on trashy, ghost-written books.”

  25. Ellie says:

    2 things:

    Is inner circle is Jewish so now he claims to be Jewish all of a sudden? Just because you hang out with lots of Jewish people doesn’t make you Jewish! I worked at a mostly Jewish camp this past summer–most of the staff and campers were Jewish. I’m not Jewish and just because I was surrounded by a bunch of Jewish people every day did not (and will never make me) Jewish!

    And can he keep Michael Lohan AWAY from his kids? The two of them together–Michael prominently wearing the crucifix and Jon wearing that shirt that says “the black sheep.” Michael has no business being near Jon Gosselin’s kids, he has his own family issues to sort through.

  26. cakes says:

    If hes trying to “break the cycle” of divorce, why is he getting divorced? That makes no sense to me.

  27. thedomesticgoddess says:

    ok even I can’t cope with that verbal insanity! Change therapists, get a new lawyer, one who doesn’t let you talk to the press!

  28. HarbinsMom says:

    What a pig. The more he talks, the more idiotic he looks. This whole thing about Hailey being his *best friend* is ridiculous, but I guess they have the same maturity level. This fool talks about how when he’s with his kids, it’s just he and the kids, but he takes time out to go to the gate and take photos and give interviews and sign autographs, ride his stupid tractor all over and ignore the kids.
    And what about giving Cara an ATV for her birthday? Is he just that stupid? No 9 year old needs an ATV. That’s just an accident waiting to happen, but it just shows his disconnect between what’s right and what’s wrong. He actually said he had it delivered to his brother’s house so Kate wouldn’t send it back. That statement right there is proof he knows it’s a bad idea, but he’s doing it so Kate can get upset about it and he can say *OOh Kate sent back Cara’s present. Isn’t she evil?* What a calculating idiot. He doesn’t even think of Cara’s feelings in all of this.

  29. stacy says:

    i say we ship him off to another country and let those poor folks deal with him. All this eye rolling is giving me a headache. Thanks, douchebag!

  30. Peanut says:

    I’m actually pretty impressed that through all those seasons of Jon & Kate, TLC was able to minimize revealing just how STUPID this guy actually is. With each new interview that he does, it just becomes more and more painfully obvious that he is just not a smart person.

  31. thedomesticgoddess says:

    Oh boy. I usually enjoy Entertainment Tonight, but being slow on the uptake, I see that it has become nothing but a higher class (in their minds) rag show. That said, apparently they are interviewing major stars (ie Rod Stewart)on their take of this situation. As he said, money does strange things to people. As for Jon and Lohan … eep. I think after years of Kate’s abuse, this man has no self esteem left, and simply will go where he thinks he’s going to be liked. Shame. But women go through this, omg the sympathy rains! Hopefully he and Kate can resolve this money matter, and getting on with the business of living. I doubt that but I can hope!
    Because I must like punishment, I watched the latest episode last night. I came away with an even more solid feeling that Kate is scared to death of her children leaving the nest. Not just sad, but afraid. Then the next repeat came on where Kate took Mady to San Diego? spa days etc. It was scary when at the end when they were being interviewed, along with Mady, when Jon was relating the incident with the toilet tank lid and Aaden, you watched Kate literally scream “you didn’t tell me that!”, and then Mady screaming the same thing! EEEEEEEK! Anytime Jon was asked a question and began to answer, Kate overtalked him, raising her voice to do so. Ickickickick … she is just so disrespectful to him! She wouldn’t dare speak that way to anyone else, and certainly not on camera. Say what you want about Jon, but omg, he put up with her for far too long. There is no one that I know that would ever put up with being spoken to like that, and to model that to your children? Oh I will be glad when the show isn’t even aired. (which I doubt will happen …TLC is still profitting from this). What I don’t understand, is why is it different for a man being treated like Jon has by his spouse, and a woman? If we saw a man speaking to a woman like that … ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE! Reverse discrimination is what I call it. Anyway … Jon … just stay home with your girlfriend, work on your self esteem, choose better people to be friends with and keep working on your relationship with your children. In the end, that is really all that matters.