Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie made the cover of Star Magazine this week, surprising no one. This time Star Magazine declares: “Brad & Angie: The End!” Sub-head: “Brad walks out on Zahara’s birthday”. Scandal! Empress Zahara will not be amused, and I would suspect that the Empress is the one who will be keeping her eye on Brad from now on, not Angelina. Oh, yes. Apparently, this whole story is based on two things: Brad and Angelina looking cold and pissy on their date night last week, and someone seeing Brad leave the hotel on Zahara’s birthday. Did I say “leaving”? I meant “stormed out”. Of course. Because no one ever just “leaves” or “runs errands”. They have to “storm out” or “sext Jennifer Aniston.” Anyway, blah, blah Brad and Angie had a fight on Empress Zahara’s birthday, and now it’s “The End”… and Angelina is also considering hiring a private detective. Hmm… sounds like a job for Zahara, honestly:
Ever since Angelina Jolie told Brad Pitt she wanted to explore an open relationship, the façade has cracked and it’s become a vicious game of spying, lying and secret lovers.
In the Jan. 25 issue of Star, on sale today, we report that Brad and Angelina’s struggle with living a lie has become so overwhelming that they’ve reached the point where they’re done faking it.
“There is no truce in sight for Brad an Angie,” an insider tells Star. “They can’t see eye to eye on anything and Brad’s had enough.”
Things have gotten so bad, sources say, the night before Zahara’s fifth birthday Brad stormed out of the Waldorf Astoria Hotel in NYC, where the family has been staying, and took off on a solo trip to France — even though a party had been planned for his little girl! Meanwhile, Angie has been spying on Brad and even looked into hiring a private detective to follow him!
“Brad can only take so much,” says a source. “This guy is just dying inside.”
Pick up the new issue of Star today to find out why Angelina changed her tune when she was the one who suggested they see other people! Plus: Brad’s exit strategy – including how he’d divide their assets and split custody of their six children.
[From Star Magazine]
Chuckle. I’m going to have to read about Brad’s “exit strategy”. My guess is that it involves a gross beard and a newsboy cap. By the way, who wouldn’t love to go to a Princess Zahara birthday party? Can you even imagine the decorations that Zahara forces her brothers and sisters to put up in her honor? I bet Zahara even made a special sign for her parents: “I said I wanted a pony, bitches.”
In other Brangelina news, they are not the most top-earning couple in America. That honor goes to Beyonce and Jay-Z, who earned $122 million last year. Guess who came in second? You’ll never guess. It was Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart with $69 million! What the…? Oh, it was mostly because of Harrison’s back-end deal with that Indiana Jones movie. And finally, in third place, Brangelina with $55 million. Sigh… they’re no Calista and Harrison.
Angelina being her own private dick (that’s a sex machine to all the chicks…SHAFT!)
Star Magazine cover courtesy of CoverAwards. Additional photos of Brad and Angelina on January 6, 2010, credit: CWNY/Fame Pictures.
Totally unrelated: Rachel Zoe looks disgusting.
ITA, Zoe is her own XRay!
How come these magazines always come up with Brad and Angie fighting, spitting, slamming doors and shagging Aniston? Why cant they just leave them alone??
I hope things are not bad between Ang & Brad – that is so hard on the children when the adults are fighting. I LOVE Zahara!
I love Angie’s shades in the bottom pic.
ITA, Rachel Zoe looks frightfully skinny.
I don’t know but there must be some truth to all these stories. They don’t look happy at all. Angelina does look like the kind that would send a detective to spy on Brad. Brad should leave her, I bet she threatens to kill herself whenever he says he’s leaving her.
Zahara deserves better.
Wait, I think Star’s “The End” story is too soon, considering they’re usually making/adopting babies in the winter and breaking up in the spring/summer.
p.s. LOL @Kiki.
Zoe needs MAJOR help. It’s pretty bad when you put on a bikini, go to the beach and the worlds reaction is “Ahhhhhh!” which was my reaction. I can hardly look at her. Notice how she was covered up? Is that because if she were not we could count ALL of her ribs?
Brad seriously needs to rethink that beard. It looks like Santa’s pubic hair.
I think we have left the fabricated Brange and Zahara story where it belongs: ignored for Rachel Zoe. Holy crap! Now when she says: “I die,” she’ll mean it. Bananas.
what is Kai saying about the Biggest Loser?
Dark & Deadly secrets…. Do tell
love the comment.. and yes Rachel looks bad. But of course an actual story is featured as a side bar.
But what would a week be without the usual Brad leaves Angie story.. LOL
Brad looks like Benicio Del Toro (sp?) on the magazine cover!
He needs some major work with a good barber…he has gone from scragly looking to downright filthy.
Brad and Angelina fighting and…zzz…
Rachel Zoe looks DISGUSTING. Sorry, no other word for it.
Rachel Zoe needs help. If she doesn’t have an eating disorder than there is something medically wrong with her that she is eating normally and still so painfully underweight.
“I bet Zahara even made a special sign for her parents: “I said I wanted a pony, bitches.””
BRILLIANT! Z is the true star of that family.
in a related story, I was at the supermarket at lunchtime and was perusing the tab covers while I stood on line at the register.
Don’t remember which one it was, but one had a story about the Brange’s “blow out fight” and referred to “Brad’s bloody nose” and “Angie’s bloody hand”.
they even had pics to go along with it, but the pic of Brad was an old one, WITHOUT the “Chinforest of Yuck” (props to whoever came up with that, I forgot.) and the pic of Angie was (I think) from the “Salt” movie set.
couldn’t help but chuckle.
re Rachel Zoe: EW. Just EW. she looks like a death camp victim.
When you look at the rest of the photos from that night they’re in the car and smiling at each other, obviously in love and happy. Their expressions here aren’t indicative of everything.
And yeah, same old same old in the rags, not believing it.
@Lizzie B – I had the same thought! He totally reminds me of Benicio there.
I just can’t understand why he’s doing that to his chin. It’s like he’s mad at the world and lashing out with his face.
I know this is all bullsh*t but “Brangelina fights” are so fun to read ;D
Brad flitted about the kitchenette fretting that Zahara’s pony-shaped birthday cake had risen unevenly and appeared to have a lumpy behind, while Angelina clawed at the wood fixtures, sharpening her nails and flexing her bony fingers.
“Well, at least she’ll be pleased with the real pony, which has fabulous hindquarters,” droned Angelina. “Speaking of which, I’d like to get some ass from other people.”
“You got her a real pony?! What?!” Brad’s brow furrowed with anxiety and he tore off his apron in disgust. “I don’t know why I even try anymore! Nothing I do is good enough– not my cooking, not my lovemaking!”
With that Brad burst into tears and stormed off, shoveling handfuls of lumpy pony-cake into his mouth while his beard grew soggy from crying. A private detective found him in his favorite crying-shed, clutching the cake pan, but told Angelina he was in France, to spare what little dignity he had left.
CB
This shizz is getting old. Please stop rehashing this crappy story!
Brad and Angie look lately like they despise the general public. In most of their pictures their facial expression is like something in the room stinks. Brad has certainly become a snob, even in interviews.
I doubt they are fighting. They just think (common) folk are scum. Maybe it’s from hanging out with their new over educated world elitist friends.
Shame. She used to have such a warm smile. And so did he.
Rachel Zoe does look absolutely awful. I watched her show on Bravo and I couldn’t help but think what the hell? Does she just drink hot water all day in those massive cups of who-knows-what from Starbucks?
Haven’t they been “ending it” for the last 5 years according to the tabs? The Final Straw has come and gone hundreds of times with these two, jeeze.
Maybe the Chinforest of Yuck (seriously, hilarious whoever that was) has become another Final Straw. Along with the Gerbils of Doom.
With that beard he and that face he really looks like Benicio del Torro
Praise, I also saw that cover with Brad’s bloody nose and Angelina’s bloody hand. My first thought: Angie must have torn off his beard before hitting him in the nose!!!
There is no way Brad left his family or missed Zee’s birthday to go to France alone. They are all in France because another ragmag has them eating at a restaurant with Angie “acting pregnant” because she was “sipping a coke and looking tired” according to one of the other diners. Of course, at the dinner in NY, she, Brad and their guests drank SIX bottles of wine and Angie ate pasta with a RAW egg on it!!! I tell you, it’s so hard to know who to believe!! Yeah, right!!
I’m hoping Rachel Zoe sees that picture and gets the help she needs. She has said she wants to get pregnant but she won’t if she doesn’t get some weight on. She really looks disgusting.
So I’ve lost count but Brad must have left Angie what, 671 times by now? Maritza – if there was any truth to this he would have left 671 times ago. I’d say why won’t the tabs just let this die, but when you look at a Brangelina story on ANY site there are always tons of comments, so we’re all part of the problem. So…yeah. This crap is not going anywhere LOL
His beard is SO gray! Do you think that’s his natural hair color now? Say it ain’t so Brad………
Hey, yo! Chinforest of Yuck! Keanu Reeves got himself cleaned up and he’s looking prettier than you, so funny beard time’s over. Unless this is part of an elaborate joke you have with Clooney, shave already!
Maybe the creatures in his beard needed some air? As much as I’d love to hear these two freaks were done for good, I doubt either one of them would leave their kids’ birthday party, especially the Bradster. Maybe somebody forgot the paper plates and he had to do a run….
oh please. there’s no way pitt would miss the birthday of that child in particular:
http://www.life.com/search/?q0=zahara+jolie-pitt&k65817=Central+Park
Dude looks haggard and run-down!
And just lasttweek they were having another baby.
Ted called Angie “St. Stone-Face” and said Brad is her “sperm and stroller btich” – so freakin funny. Good laughs at those descriptions.
The paps are screaming at them and flash bulbs are popping blinding them. I’ve seen video of when they got off the pier at the Salt set. It was awful. I’d like to see how you would look with that going on in your face constantly. And, the things the paps say! I am part of the problem because I am on these sites.They must be fed up. Especially with the kids in their arms. But, if they stayed trapped at home there would be other stories how they keep the kids in the closet.
brad has expired. vomitrocious.
Awesome Javelin …. my favorite was from your last post … “…Angelina’s limbs went numb and for a minute she regretted locking Brad in the wine cellar.” Big Smile
angie needs to take a knife to that sh*t on his face… man went from sexiest man alive to hobo horror in such a short period of time… at least jen made sure he looked good
I think that if these two break up, it will probably be due to the bull crap stories that appear in blogs (like this) and other gossip rags, as well as paparazzi in their faces .
@ Bete
take a look at the archives on this site.. these stories have been printed and posted for 5 years straight.. STRAIGHT.. nothing different, the same: every single day that they have been together some story has been posted some where. HOW many other couples have broken up divorced in that time period; to many to name. and YET through it all they are still together.. Like them or not; they are still together. I really don’t know how many other couple could have with stood this kind of attack.. If their relationship was going to sink or swim on the merit of the tabs and blogs. I really doubt they would be heading into year 6 with 6 kids..
So maybe.. just maybe they are making it work like every other couple in the world. Taking it one day at a time.. Together.. I say good for them. Maybe all the crap is making them stronger.. You know that song. ‘you and me against the world” I can see that more then anything..
I love this couple so much, I wish the tabloids would quit trying to split them up. Six innocent children who adore their children and tabloid spreading false and negative stories on them. Leave it to Tiger and the people who truly deserve it but not the JP. Been a fan for many many years and I don’t buy into the cheating theory as many others don’t. Guess we aren’t the ones buying the tabs and supporting them so they go for the negative to hook and bait the naive ones.
These breakup stories must be getting old if even the haters are sick of these stories.
Zoe: meth. That’s all I have to say.
Give me an B. Give me an O. Give me a R. Give me an I. Give me a N. Give me a G!
What’s that spell?
Javelin, that was awesome! I’m positive that’s exactly what happened.
ROTFL at Javelin!
A private detective found him in his favorite crying-shed, clutching the cake pan, but told Angelina he was in France, to spare what little dignity he had left.
That’s just f.ng hilarious!!!
Why are they always wearing Sunglasses at night??? Got something to hide?? Where there is Smoke, there is Fire re: these stories. Something is up. Please remove the glasses at night..I wouldn’t call people haters, some people don’t care for them or are not fans of theirs.. JMO
you guys are all saying this is old but it is true, he really did fly off to france during Z’s birthday, bolted, he was seen at the airport and in France. Why the disbelief that this couple never fights is interesting to me, they really have a lot of people snowed.
Rubbish, if he was there would be photos of him in France. Another non story.
It’s a message. Brad’s exit strategy involves using Rachel Zoe as a skeleton key to unlock the door amd make his escape.
Javelin- THAT was funny. Lumpy Pony Cake would be a good name for a band.
The night before Zee’s birthday was the night they went out for the 4-6 hr dinner with friends. So Star and the idiots who believe them; how is it possible for Brad to leave the day before Zee’s birthday when they didn’t leave the restaurant sometime between 11:30Pm and 1:15
Same story. Same comments. BORING.
javelin – ROTFL! ‘Favorite crying shed’. That was brilliant!
I hope it’s not true about Brad and Angelina; hope that their growing strong with their marrige.Fight for thier marrige, because the have so much childrens to care …………………sorry my ingles is not good
” They have to “storm out” or “sext Jennifer Aniston.”
that made me lol! and well, if Brad doesnt wanna see her anymore i’ll gladly take his place!
Wilson where are the pics dear. Who said the couple never fights, but you wan’t us to believe Brad flew to France on his oldest daughter’s bday.If they had a fight he could go to a hotel or to one of their other houses. I bet you believed the story about them having a fight and Brad sleeping on the couch at Miravel in France instead of staying in one of the reported 35 bedrooms or 3 guesthouses on the property. Star magazine don’t even bother to check dates. 2 weeks ago they claimed Brad while in L. A. stormed out on his bike after a fight when pics came out later that they were already in NYC.
Cant get past the beard.
Great, harrison ford makes around $55 mil off that p.o.s. and im working 5 days a week like a douchebag for substantially less than 1% of that amount/year *sigh*
How did BP go from “sexiest man alive” to Grizzley Adams? EWWWWWWW! Think of all the crumbs in that beard!
brad please shave that ugly beard, thanks.
Yawn. Sure, I can make up stuff, too, but I don’t get paid for it. Sigh.
Is Rachel Zoe auditioning for the lead in a “Skeletor” movie? Ewww … she’s just … nasty.
Star is lying, not because Brad and Angie aren’t fighting but because I don’t believe he would bail on his daughter’s birthday.
However, this entire family ALWAYS looks miserable. I don’t know the truth, but something’s wrong because everybody always looks so sad. I haven’t seen these kids smile in over a year.
Every minute, every hour, every day, every week,every month, every year. I heard from ugly jealous bitter haters said that Brandgelina is homewrecker,, husband stealer, cheating,fighting,spliting, break-up,etc.Maybe Jenifer Aniston’s assistants doing this job to destroy the couple because full of jealous. This is very shame , very bad for whoever do this coward job . I hope God going to punish the liars who creeated the fake stories.They should care their own than insulted others.