Jessica Simpson farts. In public. That’s the gist of this Us Weekly article that was labeled “Exclusive!” And now I can’t stop giggling, because I can just imagine a further headline: “Breaking: Wind”. Anyway, this OH MY GOD FART happened during a business meeting between Jessica, her mom and the company who is going to be helping Jessica with her denim line. When The Fart That Broke happened, Tina Simpson turned and yelled “Jessica!” Which sounds like Tina was trying to push the blame, right? Anyway, “the tension was extreme.” Tension makes me gassy too.
Let’s end this meeting on a high note!
A source tells Us Weekly that Jessica Simpson had a, ahem, windy moment during a business meeting for her denim line in late January. “While one of the executives was speaking in a room full of five people, Jessica let out a very loud fart,” says the insider.
“Her mother [Tina Simpson] was there, and it prompted her to turn around and yell, ‘Jessica!’ The tension was extreme. No one knew what to say.”
It wasn’t Simpson’s first brush with public flatulence: She famously cut loose on an episode of Newlyweds, telling then-husband Nick Lachey, “You love my stinky ass,” and professed her fondness for between-the-sheets poots (a.k.a. Dutch ovens) to a radio station in 2008.
Maybe someone told Gerard Butler about her gassy fascination! When the actor, 40, with whom she shared a flirty dinner in October, joined her group at West Hollywood’s Boa Steakhouse January 23, he steered clear. “They didn’t sit next to each other,” notes an employee. “She seemed to be nervous around him.”
[From Us Weekly]
Ah, yeah, I don’t think Gerard gives a rat’s ass about Jessica farting. He probably likes girls who could conceivably enter a farting competition. For money. But I also found this line hilarious: “They didn’t sit next to each other.” The subtext seems to be “… because Jessica was afraid she was going to fart on Gerard.” Or: “… because Jessica ordered chili.”
Jessica Simpson looking gassy at an LA premiere on January 19, 2010. Also, Jessica being farty on January 13, 2010. Credit: Fame and MIV/Fame.
Funniest. Headline. Ever.
I would be so mortified, and even MORE so if my mother then made the situation even worse!
This poor girl cannot catch a break EVER!
My daughter “passed wind” (aka farted like a frat boy) during a school interview.
I wanted to die right then and there, and she was only 6.
We still call it the “Fart heard around the World” and surprisingly they all accepted into the school.
Now if this happened with my daughter when she is Jessica’s age.. I would smack her and walk our of the room muttering how I raised an idiot.
Geeze Jess, ever hear about holding it in. Every woman on the planet knows how to do that!
This whole story just made me giggle.
shit happens
This story is just a truckload of awesome. LMAO!
Too Funny!! I wonder if she gave the lean for amplification!! Anyone who doubts God has a sense of humor, I give you exhibit A…flatulence!
Jessica’s career is dearly departed,
She came to sell Mom jeans
and instead just farted.
What is the point of being the most powerful person in the room if you can’t toot-a-poot and make everyone sit in unbearble silence, pretending like they didn’t hear it or smell it?
And Momma Simpson – She who heard it, birthed it!
OMG, are you telling that women fart? No. I will not believe it. They also don’t poop. Ever. Any woman who has natural bodily functions is a disgusting mess, jeez.
LOL, sorry but I don’t buy it,I mean, who farts in a business meeting? it seems quite unrealistic, but at least this history made me laugh,it’s better than the Brangelina split stories.
Oh Jessica– I think I love you
Very Nice One Julie!!!
I think the fact that her mom reacted the way that she did was probably worse than the fact that the girl broke wind. It happens! However, most of us know just to keep quiet and pretend it didn’t (at least in such a professional setting).
Aaah…this one was just too entertaining. I love it!
Anyone remember when that model farted on Project Runway? The other models on that side were all laughing and of course, Heidi called her out for it.
“Who farted? Did somebody fart?”
hahahaha- I’m sorry but this is just hilarious! She probably thought it was going to be an S.B.D.- opps! Sometimes those things just catch you off guard!
Whoever smelt it, dealt it.
There’s a name for her new fragrance….”Fart” by Jessica Simpson…LOL I just can’t stop laughing,this headline made my day!
My kinda Girl! I LOVE FARTING!!!!
Well to be honest, blaming your daughter is much more creative than saying something stoopid like “oh no barking spiders”
I can’t believe this is a story, seriously? And way for her mom to show some class, most people would have let it pass.
–The subtext seems to be “… because Jessica was afraid she was going to fart on Gerard.”–
Yeah, fornicate to your heart’s delight, but farts…save those for marriage!
has she ever heard of beano? that stuff works like a charm.
I believe it. Look at the two photos in the article and tell me she wasn’t farting when the camera clicked. Her facial expressions make her look like she’s farting all the time, especially when she tries to do sexy.
@ Kevin.. TY 😉
Is her mom sure it’s wasn’t her trying to sing?
I wonder how true this story is? but if so, AWESOME, and I love it. It’s in poor taste to let one out in a meeting, but farting is kind of awesome and hilarious.
lol…classic j simp.
Can’t believe I remember this, but didn’t Simpson endorse a line of jeans years ago, and then got in trouble for continuing to wear, and praise as her favorite, other designer brands of jeans?
Ditto with her bag and purse line: try to con the punters into wearing your plastic tranny heels and bags, so you can swan around in Louis Vuitton leather goods.
I’ll never forget an interview Nick did when they were married. He talked about how the Simpson family didn’t seem to have boundaries when it came to doing a number 2 in the bathroom. Meaning Jess didn’t close the door when she was doing her business.
the sophisticated look suits her.. she should try closing her mouth though…
Hold it in and bear the pain
or
let it out and bear the shame?
Well, when a woman has to “fluff”, she has to fluff.
fart happens, to ALL os us and yeah…not always we manage do control when and where it happens
grown up people should know better! lol
Her mom should be slapped for calling attention to it! The girl is 29 freakin years old, not 8.
I don’t even like JS but this makes me feel sorry for her.
The sentence “I am a human and nothing humane is alian to me” was uttered for the first time in similiar circumstances. Besides, there are some medical conditions that make people’s attempts to hold farts futile. If she is so gassy, she may need take prozac because it works also for excessive flatulace related to IBS.
She is a sweet, down home kind of girl. I think it fits and I don’t like her any less. I would rather be friends with someone who can let lose instead of some tight a**.
How old is this woman, anyway? She still takes Mommy with her to meetings?
To quote a poster from another site: That fart was probably the most intelligent contribution Jessica made to the entire meeting.
Sometimes you have to fart. You can say all you want it isn’t classy, and you shouldn’t do it in a business meeting, but sometimes, you can’t stop it. I mean sure, if she was like, ripping a tap riff like a scene from Blazing Saddles sure, but one fart?
Sometimes it’s gotta blow.
its too bad (for jess) that tv no longer has those sexist 70s variety shows that always included one or two obligatory big-boobed ditzy funny blondes – like all in the family/3’s company/benny hill/laff in/carol burnett/etc. she would be perfect for that.
This is the most entertaining gossip I read in a while. It’s incredible how a sober, spontaneous fart is more interesting than loads of celebrities.
Lol @ JulieNewmar!
It’s better to fart and be in vain
than to hold it in and bust a vein.
If they ever did a re-make of “Three’s Company” Jessica Simpson would make the perfect Chrissie. And it is not healthy to hold the gas in – some major guru even did a talk about the subject. Even the pope farts.
this is why i love jessica!! LMAO!
Yes, even the pope farts, but his farts smell like heavenly roses.
All my farts and poos smell like roses.
ROTFLMAO at all the comments here! You guys are the best.
I guess its not just guys who laugh at fart jokes…OMG, SO much funny in everyone’s comments and that headline!! Poor Jess..true or not true doesn’t matter, fact that everyone farts doesn’t matter and that it is much healthier to let it out doesn’t matter..the girl can’t seem to get out from under this image that keeps rising up to keep her from being taken seriously. Its so silly but its SO funny and it definitely doesn’t make me want to run out and buy her shoes or her perfume or listen to her music etc..not that I wanted to before she allegedly farted…but still..
“Breaking: Wind.” Magnificent!
I think if you have this flatulence problem, you have to avoid certain foods. As somebody in the celebrity world, I guess she is aware of it and I’m sure she did something to avoid this “breaking wind” and I think this is another BS news. Some people is beginning to tease Jessica this time when she got all her ups and downs in life. Nothing else to write about her?
JESSICA SIMPSON FARTS IN PUBLIC! CRITICS UNANIMOUSLY AGREE IT’S HER BEST PERFORMANCE EVER!
@Snarf: he who denied it supplied it.
And now for a musical interlude:
Beans, beans, they’re good for your heart,
the more you eat, the more you fart,
the more you fart, the better you feel,
so let’s have beans at every meal!
It is possible this is true, from what I understand certain foods, mostly salads and greens makes you gassy, or so a vegetarian once told me, and as Jessica is always having her picture taken, she probably does eat a lot of salads.
Or the other version:
Beans beans, the musical fruit
The more you eat, the more you toot
The more you toot, the better you feel
So beans beans at every meal!
This girl needs a break….she’s human!
So this is how Joe Simpson has chosen to promote Jessica, hoping to create an audience for her reality show. Or maybe create her next “is this chicken or fish” moment that can be turned into more licensing deals. I guess in this case, Depends could license her name for a line of a Jessica Simpson adult diapers to wear under that line of mom jeans Jones of New York is designing for her in case the next time she lets one rip, it’s a wet one.
can’t wait for Jess new show. I can guarantee many being critical right now will indeed still tune into Jess new show & help with the ratings & you know you won’t stay away. You will be part of her success as you already are. lol You can’t stay away.. You may not like her but you continue to support her by clicking on anything Jessica so I ask….. WHO IS THE SMART ONE THAT MADE 20 MILLION LAST YEAR NOT COUNTING ENDORSEMENTS & WHO REALLY ARE THE DUMB ASSES…. LOL LOL FART AWAY JESS & JUST BE NORMAL & REAL.
It won’t matter as US magazine has a vendetta out for Jess anyways.. Look at the magazine history towards Jess & you have your answer.
Holy crap, that’s funny!
I’m of the *farts are shameful* school, i envy people who can just let rip (if really needed and im not around to witness) and not be utterly embarrassed.
Shitting with the door open while your lover’s in the next room though?! Jeesus, don’t you want to maintain a little bit of sex appeal, srsly.
Simpson is beautiful and sweet. Maybe she needs to bring her mother along, because she doesn’t feel she has business savvy and she feels nervous. She may be naïve in certain ways, and so still needs the emotional support of her parents. What I think is very strange, is that a 30 year-old woman passes gas in a formal business meeting without any qualms at all. Would you pass gas without any qualms during a job interview? Hello!
I don’t think it’s so bad that her mother scolded her daughter in front of the others. She is her “little” girl after all and always will be. But she should talk to her privately and tell her that if her boyfriend and her friends like that she passes gas in front of them and think it’s adorable, ok, then let ‘er rip, but she should be more careful during formal business meetings, because doing so makes her look vulgar and dumb. I’m glad she has millions in the bank. She may need that money when she’s advanced in years. Maybe her parents will help her and teach her to take care of her money. I just kind of wonder about her a little.
Either you have class, or you don’t.
It is not an issue of whether or not you have gas. There are many reasons for being gassy, and your gender has nothing to do with it. If your body is not producing enough digestive enzymes, then you may end up with excessive gas because your body is not digesting food properly. You have be lactose intolerant and don’t know it. You may need to steer clean of wheat gluten, but don’t know it. Particularly, if to lose weigh (as Jessica has been chastized for her weight), then you are inclined to eat healthy, i.e. lots of fruits and vegetables which can further compound the gassiness. Therefore, she is contending with too much gas due to her lacking digestive enzymes, then she may not be able to sufficiently control it. In other words, she is not having to control gas once or twice a day, it could be more than that, and therefore, she is more likely to experience an accident. Bottom line, how her digestive system operates is involuntary. She may not be aware of the medical and dietary remedies available to her, if in fact, they will remedy the problem sufficiently. In other words, don’t not judge or condemn her. You don’t know her situation, and to do so would render you classless.