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Last month, everyone in the world decided they collectively needed a really good laugh, and we organized Hailey Glassman’s cover shoot for the classiest magazine in the world, Steppin’ Out. Hailey “Judge This Haters” Glassman went hardcore, telling the magazine really specific details about what Jon Gosselin is packin’. Basically, not much. Or, as Hailey put it: “He’s hung like a nine-year-old boy. I’m serious.” Jon is apparently “3 inches” and “It’s very noticeable. It’s so tiny, tiny, tiny… [I] would laugh about it with my mom. He said, ‘You know how subconscious I am of down there.’ I would tell him to his face, ‘I don’t think you would cheat on me because you’re so small.’ I would tell him that all the time. Having sex with Jon was bittersweet.”
You would think that Jon would never, ever want his tiny wang discussed in public, because he’s so “subconscious” about it. Which makes it even funnier when Kate Gosselin and Kate Major basically confirmed that yes, Jon is “tiny” and “stubby”. Funnier still is that a representative from Playgirl magazine was even in talks with Jon about posing for the magazine – but that the offer was for $20,000 because he’s so tiny. Or, as the Playgirl rep says, “it’d be more of a novelty than an actual sexy shoot.” Circus-freak peen, that’s how bad it’s gotten.
If Playgirl ever asks Jon Gosselin, 32, to pose nude, he may be a little insulted by the offer.
“We discussed it, and we’d offer him only $20,000,” Playgirl rep Daniel Nardicio tells Life & Style exclusively. “His star is extinguishing, and he’s not very [well endowed]” — as Jon’s exes Hailey Glassman and Kate Major both recently revealed.
“Honestly,” says Nardicio, “it’d be more of a novelty than an actual sexy shoot.”
[From Life & Style]
Chuckle. But really, who is even interested in seeing circus-freak mini-peen, even if it is just a “novelty”? When you look at it that way, $20,000 seems too high! I mean, Levi Johnston got $100,000, and he didn’t even show any wang!
In one last piece of Jon news, his rep released a statement about Kate being named as one of the Dancing With the Stars people. The rep told Radar: “He is happy for Kate and supportive of her joining the season of DWTS.” That’s right, Jon. Just keep you head down and shut up.
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Jon Gosselin, Porn
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33 Responses to “Jon Gosselin’s tiny wang is only worth $20,000 to Playgirl”
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Oh dear God… the thought makes me nauseous.
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Gross! I wouldn’t even want to see him with his shirt off let alone the baby-peen! Ewwwwwwwwww
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Hmmm. Imagine the fallout if a guy took pictures of his flatchested girlfriend’s bare breasts, posted them online and kept making fun of her?
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Yeah that never happens so let’s imagine it.
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This is just mean. I don’t think he’s any prize, but this is too much.
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Really?? Am I seriously the ONLY person curious enough to want to see it?!? I’ve never seen a 3 incher before, so I would like to see it for, er, scientific purposes.
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@ Snarf- the difference being, this is Jon’s choice. He’s not being exploited, he’s trying to cash in on his pseudo-celebrity status before it’s non-existent. Seriously, he does not deserve pity from anyone.
I can’t imagine WHY any magazine would want pics of him without clothes though…there is absolutely nothing appealing about this bloated man-boy. Yuck!
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Poor Jon, he has no money, no job and now he is being ridiculed by his exes for his tiny peen. Well at least now he can say he is famous for something!
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I guess they’re paying him by the inch.
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The gun maybe small but it’s definitely lethal! Look at all dem chiruns! They might need to bring in a stunt cock for the photo shoot.
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Well, at least he has a fabulous rack going for him.
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LOL Melissa.
A “novelty”? HAHA! Playgirl should just photograph on of those cocktail weenies and save themselves the 20K.
In all seriousness, why do they think anyone would buy this????
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I would hope he would get in some kind of shape before ever even thinking about it.
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They probably offered him so little because of all the air-brushing they’d have to do to get rid of the acne and stretch marks.
LOL at this whole article and most of the comments.
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ouch
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Melissa…hilarious!!!
The whole situation with him is actually pretty sad, and while I do not feel sorry for him as he contributes fully by his own actions and choices it’s still sad that his life has become a total public circus with a mans worst nightmares come true. He’s a perpetual victim and mental child and wants attention at all costs so he probably loves it on some level..but still..sad.
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LOL @Eden….I read your statement as “total pubic circus” and spewed Diet Coke all over my desk. Then I reread it and realized I just wasted my precious DC for no reason. Ah well…
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YUCK. It’d be like the Pillsbury Dough Boy with a nubby wang….{shivers with disgust}
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What a freakshow.
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What’s really sad is that his children are going to eventually know what’s being said about their father.
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I guess they’re paying him by the inch.
@ The Bobster – love it! That’s frickin’ hilarious!!
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ROFL Melissa “at least he has a fabulous rack” – AWESOME! He’s brought this all on himself – no pity here.
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I’d pay to NOT see it!
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Oh…this is sad. Before I wondered how this guy could show his face in public. Now I really wonder how this guy will show his face in public. Karma. It’s a real biotch.
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Yeah…size matters..$20000 for moobs and a golf pencil dick, he’s lucky to be offered that.
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If I wanted to see an overweight naked asian I would look out my front door. There are heaps of them on the beach about 100 meters away from my house. No thank you.
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Can I get the same results as the dentist would give me?
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They are only morbidly curious to the tune of 20 grand? Well, thanks Playgirl, for keeping the grand tradition of freakshow tents alive in this day and age.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HA HA HA!!
That’s funny shit!
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Maybe Playgirl can bring in Jamie Kennedy to be Jon’s penis double.
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Although Snarf’s example might be a little exagerrated, I definitely agree with the main point — I feel bad for anyone, even this douche, whose most embarassing personal secret is laid out for the world to laugh at. This guy’s going to off himself with any more of this kind of press.
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Ewwwww, just the thought makes me sick.
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Wait.. someone is actually going to *pay* $20,000 for.. him? Naked? Wow.
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