Jennifer Aniston to launch her own perfume

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Jennifer Aniston is joining the ranks of other celebrities by putting out her own signature scent. Her rep confirms the news, but says that the fragrance doesn’t yet have a name. I bet it will be something Spanish and evocative of the beach. Damn her and her multi million dollar bachelorette lifestyle.

Aside from the whole post-Brad Pitt-Angelina Jolie pity-party story line that’s been perpetuated by the tabloids for the past five years, Jennifer Aniston is the ultimate aspirational brand.

We want her shiny, shiny golden tresses and preternaturally toned, bikini-ready body. But without a personal mane wrangler and a yoga instructor on call 24-7, that’s unlikely to happen. Instead, maybe we can just make do with smelling like the winsome star.

with a crowded and aromatic field that includes Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, Reese Witherspoon, Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, Sarah Jessica Parker and Jennifer Lopez.

Details of the scent are sketchy at the moment but will be released soon.

According to OK!, Jen, who recently celebrated her 41st birthday with a Mexican getaway, has been developing the perfume for nearly two years, although she is apparently on the fence about what to call it.

[From Wonderwall, thanks to Jade for the tip!]

Let me just say that after I was exposed to mold in an apartment I was living in I’m very sensitive to perfume, some of which gives me a headache. (Not all perfumes, just some.) So I have zero love for any kind of fragrance. If you like to smell like something unique and subtle good for you, but if you reek so bad that it makes me dizzy I’m going to give you the side eye. And don’t ever wear perfume to the gym, damnit! There’s no reason to get your fake-smelling stink all over the exercise room. (I’d prefer to smell b.o. to be honest) Same goes for you and your yoga matt, Jen. I just don’t get the idea of people wanting to smell like celebrities. Sure we want their hair, clothes and bodies but to smell like them? Ridiculous.

Due to my sensitivity I consider celebrity perfumes one of the cheapest marketing gimmicks around, although some celebrities I admire have put out perfumes. (Ok, the only two I can come up with are Halle Berry and Reese Witherspoon, apart from all the actresses that have endorsed other designer fragrances, like Uma Thurman and Liv Tyler.) Despite the A-Listers with perfumes, it still seems like a really douche move. Like who doesn’t have a perfume out? They’re kind of below clothing lines in my estimation. That said, Aniston should have put out her own line of comfortable everyday clothing. I know there are a lot of people who don’t like her style, but she wears very nice staple pieces and basics. Aniston manages to look effortlessly stylish and comfortable without wearing workout gear everywhere (like Renee Zellweger) and that’s an accomplishment. I would dress like her occasionally and I wouldn’t mind having her hair, I just wouldn’t want to smell like something she put together in a lab to be able to afford more trips with all her friends to Mexico. It would probably give me a headache anyway.

The 67th annual Golden Globe Press Room..

Jennifer Aniston Hits the Clubs Solo in New York City!

 

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85 Responses to “Jennifer Aniston to launch her own perfume”

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  1. Praise St. Angie! says:

    just what the world needs, another celebrity perfume.

    I don’t think I’ve ever smelled even ONE celebrity perfume that I liked.

    and Celebitchy, I’m totally with you on people who wear perfume (or make up!) to the gym, or the pool, or the beach…really, what’s the point?

  2. lucy2 says:

    This kind of stuff always bugs me. If you want to be an actor, be an actor. Nowadays anyone famous has to have a clothing line, perfume, album, movie, etc. I suppose they get offered big bucks and I probably would take the deal too, but personally I buy stuff I like, not because a celeb sticks their name on it.
    I get headaches from overly perfumey things too!

  3. ems says:

    oh no, is she poor now?
    mexico’s economy will suffer. darn it.

  4. Jillian says:

    It will be called L’Eau de Desperation.

  5. Kaiser says:

    The only celeb perfume I like is Sarah Jessica Parker’s Lovely. It really is a very nice, low-key scent.

    Has anyone ever smelled Britney’s? It’s horrible.

  6. Praise St. Angie! says:

    Kaiser, I’ve smelled a couple of Britney’s scents, and yes, they’re terrible.

    but not as bad as Paris Hilton’s (which I saw on the shelf in CVS and couldn’t resist taking a whiff…)

  7. bite me says:

    neelyo: you so bad…haha
    a line of hair care products would have been more crediable

  8. Samantha says:

    “Desperation….by Chinnifer Anison.”

    I enjoy her but seriously…sick and tired of seeing all these celebs with perfumes, clothing lines, purses….blah blah blah. Do something original. Come out with a line of lamp shade covers, or light bulbs! I could get behind light bulbs. (And yes…I kept looking at my lamp while typing this)

  9. princess pea says:

    Kaiser, I was just going to say Lovely by SJP. I am about to run out, but I do love that one. I haven’t smelled most of the celeb fragrances, and there are some I will never buy or smell on principle (Paris Hilton). But some of them are nice, and honestly, it’s no tackier than having a bottle of Tommy Hilfiger “Tommy Girl” perfume, for example.

  10. Veronica says:

    What smells like an old lady?

  11. LOVE ANGELINA says:

    The only celeb perfume I love…Jennifer Lopez’s scents. Glow being my fave. Her other scents are amazing to. Sunkissed is amazing to.

    Good luck to Aniston. Hope her commercial is just as hilarious as SJP’s was. Although she probably try and pretty up like Paltrow, but she probably forget her age and try channel a Beyonce like commercial.

  12. Attagirl says:

    I wear Lovely by SJP a lot – its very fresh and light, not like some of those heavy, gag-worthy celebrity scents that smell like a combination of deoderant, fabric softener and cheap shower gel.

  13. Maritza says:

    Well if she wants a perfume named in Spanish, how about “Traicionada” (Betrayed)?

  14. truthSF says:

    Hey guys, MK @Dlisted has a contest on who can come up with a name for her perfume, Ppl are coming up with some funny names: these are some of the funniest:

    Submitted by Soultonic on Fri, 03/05/2010 – 3:41pm.
    Stolen – The perfume that will get him back.
    ————————————————

    Submitted by BamaDaisy on Fri, 03/05/2010 – 3:41pm.
    Futile: The aroma of a fruitless uterus with a hint of lonely, despondent tears and just enough bitter, irreconcilable angst in your nostrils.
    ————————————————

    Submitted by Chirio on Fri, 03/05/2010 – 3:41pm.
    Along Came Jolie

    …no need for a smell

    Coma Caca!
    ———————————————–

    Submitted by Snarf on Fri, 03/05/2010 – 3:40pm.
    Abandoned.

    Smells like: break-ups, loneliness and spinsterhood.

    **********
    Shiitake happens…

    ——————————————
    Submitted by Robotboy on Fri, 03/05/2010 – 3:38pm.
    Ditched Bitch – by Jennifer Aniston
    —————————————-

    Submitted by mrsdaniels on Fri, 03/05/2010 – 3:33pm.
    “Maddox Musk -
    - Promise her forever, then leave her with Maddox.”

    A musky mix of nag champa, loneliness and beef broccoli.
    ————————————–

    Submitted by You_Complete_Me. on Fri, 03/05/2010 – 3:30pm.
    Desolation.

    For a waft of unbegotten womb…
    ————————————————

    Submitted by RasKimmie on Fri, 03/05/2010 – 3:29pm.
    Pittiless – For that relationship you just can’t get over.

    Annistation – When the word desperation just isn’t strong enough.
    ——————————————

    Submitted by Vern on Fri, 03/05/2010 – 3:28pm.
    Third Wheel

    smells like frosted eye shadow, pjs and whatever courtney cox & dave arquette are making for dinner.
    ———————————————

    Submitted by cs182 on Fri, 03/05/2010 – 3:26pm.
    Scent Of A Woman
    …whose husband left her for ‘the biggest lips in Hollywood!’ (A double entendre!)
    ———————————————-

    Submitted by madam s. on Fri, 03/05/2010 – 3:27pm.
    CHLOROFORM

    “Getting your intended to the altar without a struggle has never been easier”.

    Sexy base notes of bleach and ethanol, with lingering overtones of burnt sugar and iodine.*

    *may contain cat dander.

  15. Mel says:

    Not sure why this is a story. Does it mean Halle, Reece, SJP and Aniston are all douches? Confused????

    I also suffer with chemical and perfume sensivity but don’t expect the world to stop wearing it.

  16. meme says:

    another celebrity eau de stink. who buys this crap and WHY?

  17. terry says:

    may be her bath water!! lot’s of us guys would buy it then! She would be the ultimate trophy!!

  18. Chana says:

    Yet another celebrity perfume in a crowded field of inexpert folks trying stuff they know nothing about.

    And really clever all of you making up sarcastic perfume names. That makes you seem really big, mature and over it.

  19. bros says:

    yes, it will be tepid bath water, and she will call it Mediocre. mmmmm. smells the same every time!

    oh man, they are having a naming contest of the aniston perfume over on Dlisted, and they are laugh out loud funny.

    my fav: Eau de Chloroform: smells like a plan to get Brad back.

  20. truthSF says:

    LOL @ bros, that’s a good one.

    And chill out Chana, jeez. MK is throwing a contest on who can come up with a name for Jen’s yet unnamed perfume, and the winner will be announced on Monday. Join the fun why don’t you. Don’t hate, participate!!!

  21. Melanie says:

    I would join the fun, but that MFer won’t give me a password. Anyone else having that problem? Oh, well, Celebitchy is much better anyway.

  22. sassenach says:

    Dlisters are HILARIOUS!!!!!

    Chanel Number WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!!!

    Forgotten – By John Meyer
    Smells like Jessica’s Wonderland…

    Anistank
    Smells like desperation, half empty Hagen-Dazs containers and kitty litter.

  23. Cheyenne says:

    “Ditched Bitch”? Oh no you didn’t. ROTFLMBAO!!

    “Desperation” — got a nice ring to it.

    How about “Eau de Salade de Poulet”? Sounds classier than Eau de Chicken Salad.

  24. Cheyenne says:

    OMFG, some of those names on dlisted are too funny:

    “Magic Wand”
    To let you moan when you’re alone…

    Eu De Sour Grapes

    Fartwater: the alluring scent of Downward Facing Dog SBDs, Cabo chips and salsa gas, Master Cleanse wet ones and her toilet of a career.

    Despondent

    Old Spite
    When nothing else matters.

    Bong Juice.

    Misery
    When everyone else knows you will never do better than Brad Pitt.

    JuMP
    A confessional effluvium of “I let John Mayer Pee on me”

    Denial
    For when they won’t let you get close enough to smell it.

    Rachel Green With Envy. A base of Jen’s endorsed Fart water with smoky notes of charred Mr. and Mrs. Smith DVDs, Namibian baby tears, and unviable eggs from the fertility clinic.

    Cougar –
    with hints of old pussy, anger and a whiff of menopause.

    Uncool by Jennifer Aniston
    ….because you shouldn’t have to smell like you’ve been stalking your ex-husband’s trash dumpster.

  25. Katija says:

    I would be thrilled for a Jolie perfume, seriously.

    (Jennifer, if you’re reading this, believe me, it’s not just him. We’re all just not that into you.)

  26. Eden says:

    Wow, this smells like DESPERATION!!! I’ll pass!

  27. mslewis says:

    I’m allergic to all scents so I haven’t smelled anybody’s perfume. But, don’t these celebs feel silly when they see their perfumes at the drugstore? That’s where this scent will be because having them in a department store would be too expensive and cut into profits. It’s all about money for Jennie!!

    Personally, I would have been more impressed if she had developed her own line of hair products. Her best asset is her hair.

  28. Leek says:

    I love the smell of marijuana and stale tears.

  29. Trillion says:

    Is Jen a stoner? I’d pick her as more the diet wine spritzer type.

  30. nnn says:

    I don’t like when celebrities do that. Everything to exploite their name for quick bucks.

    They are lowering the standard of the industry they are trying to rip off.

    Perfumes are of a very historically classy, sophisticated industry, so are couture or shoes.

    If not advertising a parfume from a real professional, actors should just sell stupid products with their name on it like tee shirt, Smart water or even toilet papers for all i care.

    They are not professionals and should leave those glamorous products for experienced professionals and stylists.

    LOL at #4 – The real translation will be “L’Eau Du Désespoir”

  31. snowball says:

    Those are nice pics of her. Call her ugly names and whine about her not being tied down to a scuzzy guy with a basketball team of kids. Damn her for enjoying the single life, the skank.

    Not all celebrities who have their own fragrances are inexpert. If JA has had hers in the works for two years, I imagine by now she knows the mechanics of it enough to know what needs tweaking and which scents she likes.

  32. Cheyenne says:

    @Maritza: How about La Llorona Solterona?

    And Chana, for pete’s sake lighten up, will you? Always fussing…

  33. bros says:

    I like the dlisted entry

    1997-for the woman who had it all.

  34. ThunderC*nt says:

    #5 Jillian, beat me to it. How about L’Eau de BuerreFigure?

  35. ThunderC*nt says:

    #7, haha] Chinique Sappy.

  36. Mimi says:

    Ok these are the ones I liked most besides some here have posted. I have mixed feelings about the comments because I spent the whole afternoon laughing with them but at the same time when to and think they are very evil. So here’s a tip:
    If you are a fan DO NOT READ (mainly to not laugh involuntarily and feel guilty after).
    If you are a hater GO AHEAD You’ll laugh until your jaw hurts and are good chances that you clean your lachrymal ducts of both laughter.
    If you do not GIVE A FUCK should not even be in this topic if does not interest you but if you want to give a fuck a read till end so take a handkerchief to wipe the tears.
    I think that i can regret for laughing so much right now is just too FUN

    -”High Maintenance”

    For the diva in you…

    -DoucheMagnet or to class it up: “DoucheAimant”

    -Désespérée”
    Lure back the one that got away with Désespérée.

    -”Je Ne Suis Pas Désolée”

    Evoking mediocrity, perimenopause and bitchin’ hair, “Je Ne Suis Pas Désolée” is French for my ex-husband is not an architect

    -Insemination by Calvin Klein.

    So you never have to be alone again…..

    -(Un)cool water
    Smells like charity for Mexico, fresh hair extensions and an old lady with 90 cats
    Song for the ad:

    I don’t need a man by Pussycat dolls

    -Irrelevance by Jennifer Aniston

    A powerful, new scent that can’t be ignored for the woman who can’t help but be left behind…over and over again.

    -Covergirl”

    A new hair perfume by movie-star Jennifer Aniston…for the kind of girl who simply has to cover her man-jaw with hair

    -Baster by Aniston.

    Comes in a turkey baster shaped bottle. Smells like sperm and corona.

    -Baby Repellent

    -Voler Mon Mari (“steal my husband” in french)

    -Their Just Not That Into You” by Jennifer Aniston

    The scent for the woman who’s fucked Brad Pitt, John Mayer, Gerard Butler, a random british model, Bradely Cooper but who’s still and will forever be alone PEROID

    -Anistank

    Smells like desperation, half empty Hagen-Dazs containers and kitty litte

    -J’alone

    Morning Breath (It smells a little like Gerry Butler)

    -”Lucky”

    (because she sure didn’t make it on talent)

    smells like a yoga mat, blistex and baby shampo

    -Chinel No 5

    -Solo
    smells like: cat piss and frozen douche sperm

    -Eau de Rachel, It has a pleasant reminding scent of former successes.

    -Pittiful

    Name: A.Man

    Smells like: You’ll never be good enough to keep it

    -Eau D’Needy

    -Mayer-B-Gone’ wash the douche right off!

    -Maddox Musk -

    Promise her forever, then leave her with Maddox.”
    A musky mix of nag champa, loneliness and beef broccoli.

    -Team Jennifer

    smells like kittehs, ritalin and sperm donors

    -ONE… is the homeliest number
    smells like a hootie and the blowfish concert taking place in a fertility clinic

    “Third Wheel”

    smells like frosted eye shadow, pjs and whatever courtney cox & dave arquette are making for dinner.”

    -Pittiless – For that relationship you just can’t get over.

    -Annistation – When the word desperation just isn’t strong enough.

    -”Desperation” by Jennifer Anniston combines Lemon Smart Water, wilted roses, a hint of Werther’s caramel and subtle notes of L’Oreal haircolor #205

    -Starfucks

    Smells like Vaugn’s, Mayer’s and Butler’s skid marked undies

    -DUMPED by jennifer aniston…a man repellant for the modern woman. In the old days all it took was a touch of letting yourself go and a pair of worn Dearfoam slippers… but these days all it takes is a spritz of DUMPED, a shriveled uterus and a case of the sads.

    -Unfulfilled Desires

    Smells like:
    (top notes) – no good movie roles in your 30s or 40s, Gerard Butler’s morning breath

    (middle notes) – a slight sweat from yoga 3x/day, John Meyer’s last queef in her bed, and a slight hint of Jessica Simpson’s parfume ‘Fancy’

    (bottom notes) – over-processed hair and expired sun tan spray, desperation, a dried up womb, and Maddox’s latest Play Doh masterpiece

    -”Green”:

    Smells like Pot smoke, yoga sweat and Jealousy.

    -Survive: (Tagline: “I will”)

    Smells like ramen noodles, cat food, and dried pussy juice on a silicone vibrator

    -La Soloiste:

    Smells like Gerard Butler’s boxers, John Mayer’s pit sweat and Vince Vaughn’s sneakers

    -Pleasures For Myself

    Smells like burning AA batteries.

    -”Fabulous at Forty!”

    Wreaks of desperation, mexican cabana boys, John Mayers ball sweat and a whole bunch of “uncool”

    -Eau de Jen Hens

    smells like jealousy, fupa sweat and boiled chicken bones.

    -Spouseless

    -Sperm Donor

    *because we all want what we can’t have*

    -Promises

    Smells empty. And when you open it, it breaks

    -Eau de Desperación- A floral-musky mix of stale cigarettes, sweaty yoga mat, and primrose. When relationship after relationship ends due to your need to keep a perfectly tanned and toned barren womb, just spritz on some Eau de Desperación, grab a margarita, and listen to your collection of ex-boyfriend voicemails.

    -Uncool

    Smells like orphans from every continent

    -1997 (the year she wishes it were)

    -ANIS. (smells like bleach, latex and turd nuggets)

    -Cougar – with hints of old pussy, anger and a whiff of menopause.

    -Menstrauliston – Fragrance for all cycles of the day.

    -X

    “So even the loonies will buy it”

    -”X”

    When it’s just to hard to say your name.

    -My husband Ross

    Smells like an old episode of Friends

    -Barren … “when you’re feeling empty inside.”

    -Call Me

    Shaped liked a phone. Smells like silence.

  37. Kool4Kats says:

    Hmmm, the ‘scent of desperation.’

    She’s such a bore…. zzzzzzz

  38. ThunderC*nt says:

    I haven’t been to Dlisted yet but how about L’Essence du ChatDame?

  39. Jocelina says:

    The flurry of misogyny that any mention of Jennifer Aniston (or Angelina Jolie, for that matter) stirs up never fails to disappoint me.

    I agree with Celebitchy, though — most commercial perfumes are totally awful, and they make me feel sick. I was on the treadmill next to a dude wearing Axe or something like it the other day and I seriously thought I was going to vomit. I’d pick b.o. over nasty artificial fragrances any day of the week.

  40. Alex says:

    I usually don’t buy celebrities’ perfumes but I got Beck and Posh new one last year and I love it

  41. girlygirl410 says:

    The last two pics look like she has been to Courtney Cox’s doc. Is it me?

    Hehe, I can see a perfume name out of that.

  42. lisa says:

    I just don’t understand this. Why are these women spending all this time on developing a scent. Why are they not as focused on their careers.

    I for one have never bought a celebrity scent. Don’t really want to smell like them anyway. Plus no scent is the same on any one person. Our skin changes the scent anyway. And I have no desire to Be Jen, Reese, Halle, Jlo, SJP, Brittany, Paris and the countless other.

    What happened to the days when actors acted in a film. But I have to admit. I don’t really care about seeing these women on the Big screen either.

  43. Ana says:

    I still don’t get the fuss about her hair now that she doesn’t have the Rachel.

    The names are funny…kind of sad.

    I hate Paris Hilton’s CanCan! It smells like blue cotton candy flavored candy! Everytime I spray some on a tester I always get some on my finger and it sticks to me! Makes me want to gag!

    I also hate Jessica Simpson’s Fancy. Ugh.

    Don’t throw stuff at me, but I really like Love and Luck by Ed Hardy. It’s our best seller (we do have a limited collection and are out of Daisy by Marc Jacobs.) It stays on me well and I get compliments on it.

  44. Camille says:

    This article and some of the comments here are some of the funniest things that I have read so far this year. Hilarious stuff people.

    I would never and will NEVER buy a perfume that any celeb makes.
    Also to me once a celeb starts trying to hawk a clothing or perfume line it seems like something just isn’t going right in their career, and that they think its time to try a new ploy for attention/work…

  45. sage says:

    “ENVY” –

    (Of Courtney’s Cox…. Or anyone elses’ for that matter…)

  46. Kelaa Khaa says:

    This society is crazy; it is now socially acceptable only to smell like a toxic fragrance otherwise people complain that you smell. Try and obtain the ingredients of the poisons you use everyday; good luck. This is why cancer is so prevalent in our society.

  47. nana says:

    lol this one
    Submitted by toxents on Sat, 03/06/2010 – 12:39am.

    Here are my suggestions:

    1. Forever Childless, by Jen Aniston
    2. Barren by jennifer
    Sharp scents of cinnamon and curry with alcohol and cool water. strong in scent, very volatile,evaporate quickly and makes you super dry.
    3. El Nino, by Aniston
    features the scent of the sun, makes you feel hot, hot and hot. Buy 1 and take one tester bottle of Barren by jennifer for free.
    4. Illusionada.
    better than yours, die with envy.
    5. FMN – Forget Me Not.
    scent for cool woman who prefers a strong impression of revenge to add freshness to her shampoo and tanning lotion.
    6. Douche Baie Hollywood
    7. Chin a Chin
    Fragrance dominated by the scent of stars: Jay Leno, Heidi Montag & Jennifer Aniston.
    8. Hair
    Smell like your Friends.

  48. Scout says:

    Wow! Much todo about nothing really. Don’t they all come out with something or multiple somethings in their name? Especially the pretty women who are mediocrely (sp?) talented – they have to keep the money coming in when their looks fade – and they always do sooner or later. I will not buy her perfume because I stick to one I just love and adopt the, “if it isn’t broken, don’t fix it” attitude about things! :-)

  49. Jazz says:

    I’ve never bought a celebrity perfume, don’t intend to start now. I liked the scent of Jlo’s Glow perfume though. Anyone ever smelt Avril Lavigne’s??

  50. darkie says:

    She should name the perfume “Rocksteady” on account of her strength and classiness all through trial years and the ladylike behavior she’ll continue to show all through her life.If I like your fragrance you have a lifetime customer in me:)

  51. Cheyenne says:

    @Camille: I agree. The “Friends” residuals have stopped and if “Bounty” tanks, there goes her movie career, so maybe this perfume venture is something to fall back on, just in case.

  52. Gwen says:

    WHY?! Does she really need the money? If she wants to be known as an actress she should stop acting like such a media-whore. (I had no idea Reese W. had a perfume, and now that I do, my respect for her is GONE.)

  53. Chana says:

    Cheyenne: LOL, on you, saying I’m fussy.

    Sorry that I don’t find the rampant misogyny and really, utter cruelty some of you are displaying, the least bit amusing.

    And I am also very well aware that you entitled to being as cruel, merciless and tacky as you like but I am equally entitled to be, frankly, disappointed by it.

  54. whatever says:

    @ Chana. WHAT? I just read YOU calling Brad Pitt “stupid and twatty” on another thread. So, that’s OK w/you, but making fun of Aniston is not? Well, here’s a dose of your own medecine: “Sorry that I don’t find the rampant man-hating and utter cruelty YOU HAVE displayed the least bit amusing . . I’m frankly disappointed by it . . . ” LMAO ;-)

  55. jsan says:

    I also developed perfume sensitivity all of a sudden a couple of years ago. I am fine now, but prefer to stay away from those nasty chemicals. Do a google search on “perfumes” and “carcinogenic”, perfumes are linked to headaches and worse.

    And I give the evil eye to people who reek of the stuff at the gym too!!

  56. Cheyenne says:

    Okay, here’s another: Eau de Fart (pronounced oh d’fahr in French). Sounds much classier than Fartwater, non?

    @Whatever: It’s not cruel and tacky when Chana does it, dontcha know? *snort*

    @jsan: At the gym, that’s not all they reek of.

  57. snapdragon says:

    perfume is gross…it always smells like chemicals, regardless of how expensive it is.

  58. CB Rawks says:

    Stumped by the popularity of her hair. Light brown, average fullness, straight, stringy? Yay.
    Hair that I consider amazing is the beautiful long dark shiny thick hair of Jennifer Connelly, and the red curly mane of Rachelle Lefevre.

  59. jayem says:

    Ohmigod. I just seriously got an ab workout laughing at the suggested names. That was hysterical. As always, I am impressed by the wit and humor of the commenters on DListed. (You guys are pretty awesome too!) I can’t wait to see who wins!

  60. Chana says:

    whatever: It would shock you how little I care about being hypocritical on a gossip blog.

    BUT I will say that Brad was stupid and twatty because he cheated (emotionally or otherwise). And they aren’t gender-specific. Twatty is actually gender-opposite.

    Jennifer Aniston, on the other hand, just exists…and happens to be Brad’s ex who hasn’t remarried. So really, “forever childless”, “barren”, “ditched bitch”? Gender-specific and rather rude.

  61. Hahaha love the names! People here are creative.

  62. Heaven-bound says:

    Chana: Bravo! I agree with you on all points.

    Here she goes again Cheyenne and her unhealthy obsession with JA. You would think she knows her personally. And the sad part is I think she is an older lady…. very mature of you Cheyenne.

  63. Ana says:

    Okay guys, this is Celebitchy. We’re here to be bitchy about celebrities. Not to each other!

  64. Cheyenne says:

    @Heaven-bound: Oh for God’s sake, lighten the hell up, will you? We’re all just having some fun on here. If this isn’t your idea of fun, go to FF or IUC. Sheesh.

  65. shell says:

    @Chana. So you admit you’re a hypocrite? That’s a start. Here’s some more issues to work on. Repeat after me:”I DON’T KNOW PITT, ANISTON or JOLIE. I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED IN THEIR MARRIAGE, BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW THEM.” Stop with the delusions; you can’t know people that well through the media. It just makes you sound like a whack job, nursing a grudge over a 5 yr old divorce.

  66. shell says:

    Oh, and here’s my entry for perfume names:

    “Issues and Tissues” (Because if you’re Jennifer Aniston, you can never have enough of either.)

    “Eau de Stank” (Smell like the woman who dated Vince Vaughn, John Mayer and Gerry Butler. ewwwww)

  67. Guest says:

    Where has this girl been lately? She sure can disappear. That is one thing that I like about her (many that I don’t) but I like that when not promoting anything we do not see or hear from her. That is just classy. she used to be so into making sure her image was right and caring what the tabloids and people had to say. Now however I think she really does not care at all. I have noticed that she never answers the tabloids or tries to make public showings to prove them right or wrong. She is getting smarter.

    The posts here are well just – sad. Nothing wrong with them really but it must be a lonely life to spend most of your day trying to make fun and make a rich, successful, and beautiful woman look bad and desperate. Sorry but it just smells of jealously. Dont understand why when people dislike someone so much they even post about them. And if we are honest – we know who the people who are posting are fans of – pretty pathethic – oh well. I guess Jen is the one having the last laugh.

  68. CeeCee12 says:

    You can dislike someone and not be jealous.
    You can tell who people like and Guest likes JA. We are each entitled to our personal tastes and these posts are hilarious.

    Not one for the stringy dishwater hair or someone that dated Dirty Triumvirate.

  69. kris says:

    i found this another set of hilarious possible Jen perfume name from dlisted:

    All by Myself

    Table for One
    Evokes the yeasty aroma of a basket of bread the waiter brings… but there’s no one with whom to break it.

    déjà vu
    experience your men, coming and going.

    womb raider
    anything with Angelina will always sell

    Star Anise by Aniston
    Chinese inspired from sweet, smoky and strong spice.

    Perspiration
    Follow your sweat. Mix of self odor fume and smart water.

    Nothing Last Forever

    Sterile.
    Pure white scent of nothing.

    Almost.
    Fragrance that nearly gets you there but you lost it.

    Mirror.
    scent of yourself. natural and pure. its all about you.

    Vanished.
    The smell of promises,departures and melancholy.

    Privacy.
    Smells like tiger and singlehood

  70. ogechi says:

    God bless Jennifer Aniston

  71. Chana says:

    shell: Where on earth did you get the idea that I thought I knew these people?

    Or that I have a “grudge” about a marriage/divorce that has nothing to do with me?

    Grudges come from being personally slighted. I wasn’t personally slighted by their divorce as I do not know them.

    Now, I do not, however, shy away from expressing my disapproval of adulterers in any walk of life.

    From Angelina’s mouth, through the vector of the media, I heard that they fell in love on the set of Mr. And Mrs. Smith. While Brad was still legally married to someone else.

    This could have happened to anyone and I wouldn’t approve. I don’t approve of Julia Roberts and her new-ish husband, or Sienna Miller and her married-man-hunting ways, and various other people who don’t take other people’s marriage vows seriously.

    Of course I don’t know any of these people. But all it takes is a passing knowledge of the things that have come out of their own mouths to pretty much know what happened. And really, I’m entitled to an opinion, aren’t I?

  72. Cheyenne says:

    AND THE WINNERS ARE:

    And here’s the winner from Friday’s contest! It was hard picking just one, so I let my boyfriend pillow do the choosing. That’s how Aniston would handle this. Congrats to TheGoldenBoyNC! You’ve got a gift waiting in your inbox.

    Winner:

    “Sourpuss” – With the energizing aroma of apple cider vinegar and supple hints of stagnant Snapple lemonade, one whiff of Sourpuss will have you pout and look generally pissed off at the world just like superstar Jennifer Aniston. Pairs perfectly with Ed Hardy cologne for the man in your life … but if you’re like Jennifer, you probably don’t have one. – TheGoldenBoyNC

    Runners-up (prize: a cyber hug from me, no returns accepted):

    Call Me
    Shaped liked a phone. Smells like silence. – jazzfish_77

    “Childless!” Smells like a clean house, kid-barfless clothes/hair, and FREEDOM – Green Tea Latte

    Ocean Screamer, the scent that encapsulates the sandy beaches of Cabo, dried eggs and raw cookie dough. – beakers bitch

    I would have gone with Desperation, but hey, it’s Michael K’s contest and he gets to pick the winner.

  73. karen says:

    @Chana. You called Brad Pitt a “twat”? The word is slang for vagina! To call a man a slang word for a woman’s body part (pussy, twat, douches, etc) is the ultimate insult for men. Because women are SO WEAK, don’t you know? So, who’s the misogynist NOW? I think you should stop with your chest-thumping sermons to others and think about YOUR OWN COMMENTS more. Seriously . . .

  74. ogechi says:

    @Chana: your post is my best EVER!!

  75. taylor says:

    I hink she should call it
    “cant keep a man”
    And i think it will reek of Desperation.

  76. Jess says:

    Fair enough you wanna take the piss out of someone, call them stupid, or a few other names, thats fine. but i’m sorry, making fun of someone because they don’t have kids? that’s completely immature and nasty. my older sister isn’t able to have kids after her miscarriage and hearing these horrible comments is pretty insulting. as some of you said, u don’t know whats going on in their lives.. so try and stick to common insults instead of personal things. thats if you have it in you.

  77. VinceV says:

    Finally! She’s got something to hide her pussy stick!

  78. VinceV says:

    Oops, I mean stink.. I’m the one with the stick.. That smell of her’s is enough to make you woozy after gasping for air…

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