'10
This morning, somebody picked Lindsay Lohan’s crackhead off the cocaine-dusted mirror and stapled a note to her bloated lips: “Your daddy is getting married to Kate Major.” When Lindsay awoke to her throbbing lips, she didn’t think anything of it. It wasn’t until she started snorting last night’s remnants off the mirror that she saw the note. She read it, did the coke, chugged some vodka straight from the bottle, and called up Us Weekly to respond: “I’m gonna vomit…I so didn’t need that info … Yuck!” Thus spoketh The Blohan. Anyway, yes, it’s true! Michael and Kate Major are engaged. Try not to vomit like Lindsay:
Michael Lohan has popped the question to Jon Gosselin’s ex, Kate Major.
“She’s been there for five years with me. I think a friendship is more important than anything when you have a relationship, and this is the strongest one in my life,” Lohan, 49, tells UsMagazine.com.
Lohan says he was waiting for the “situation with Lindsay to resolve” before announcing the engagement. He has been encouraging his troubled daughter to enter rehab.
“[Two weeks ago], I went down to Florida with Kate to visit her dad. I was in a hot tub with her dad at their house, and I said, ‘There’s something we have to talk about.’ He said, ‘Oh my God, don’t tell me Kate’s pregnant!’” Lohan jokes. “I told him I was looking at the future, and I wanted to make it formal and take it to the next level. After that, he approved, then Kate and I discussed it and she discussed it with her dad.”
While Major, 27, isn’t expecting now, she and Lohan do eventually plan to have children. “That’s one of the things I spoke to her dad about. I’m not getting any younger and Kate wants to have children,” Lohan says.
Of the engagement, Major tells Us, “I’m really happy.”
She’s already started planning.
“I have talked to some of the bridesmaids and we have discussed having the wedding later this year. It’s going to be at Oheka Castle in New York. But right now, I’m just enjoying being engaged… We’re really excited!”
Plus, Major tells Us, “The ring is gorgeous!”
She hasn’t received well wishes from Gosselin yet. “Jon and I don’t speak, but I wish him and Kate Gosselin the best,” Major tells Us.
[From Us Weekly]
Yeah, they’re not getting married. Michael will f-ck it up, but something tells me that whackadoodle Kate Major will cling to his wife-beating dumbass until he dumps her. I like how Michael has already given himself an out – he’s going to wait to get married until “the situation with Lindsay” gets “resolved”. But a cold chill went down my spine at the news that Kate wants to have Michael’s Mesh Shirt Babies. UGH.
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Engagements, Kate Major, Lindsay Lohan, Michael Lohan
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27 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan is vomitous b/c of Michael Lohan-Kate Major’s engagement”
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Bleh
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Wahahahaha! I wouldn’t have said anything could make me feel sorry for Lindsey, but this?!? Just a little tiny bit. Funny stuff tho. Just think, a woman can’t hook stubby so she goes down a notch to Lohan – who wants to be famous that bad!?!?
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Shuddap Lilo. You want nothing to do with your father. You tell us all the time how you have no contact with him, you don’t talk or see him, want no future contact with him… So if he decides to get married, little girl, you don’t get a say.
I told ya’ll I’d gone Team Michael.
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LL should just stop responding to any antics ML brings. Her responses just keeps his name in US Weekly.
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…2…7? I must be 15 again.
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Engaged?! WTF!! I’d wanna throw up too. Eewww.
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Why the f— would ANYONE want that man to procreate AGAIN?!
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Isn’t that the woman who claimed she was sleeping with Gosselin a few months ago?
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Really?
Famous because of your once famous daughter who is now famous because of her outrageous behavior, other than that why is he news to anyone but his family.
She famous for being a stupid ho bag who quits her job to Bang a man with 8 freaking kids.
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh can I be famous too?
Let me think of something, well I didn’t sleep with any one’s husband, so that’s out.
I didn’t whore myself out for money, cross that off the list.
I didn’t try to extort money from someone, and save all the sexting messages.
I’m not on a reality show about being a Italian stereotype and from the Jersey shore (even though I’m from Jersey)
Let me get to you’ll when I think about it some more.
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Famewhores of the world unite!
Maybe the next couple will be Jon Gosselin and one of Tiger’s whores. What the hell is this world coming to?
…I have to agree with Lindsay on this (it literally pained me to type that I AGREE with Lilo on something, ugh) this kinda does make me want to vomit.
We know that Michael and Kate are only doing this for the publicity, but the fact that she would even think to have his babies! I mean, is she not paying attention to the SPLENDID parenting job he’s doing on his kids now??
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Eeeuuww, I’d be vomitus too if I were Lindsay. Her Dad is SO embarrassing. And yes, I think his behavior is more embarrassing than his daughter’s.
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The whole Lohan family is f*cked up so badly…
we’re all laughing at them…yet they don’t realise…
as Lindsays new tattoo states ‘ I’m a star’ or something – the deluded minded…scary!!
Tragic disfuctional family who are trailer trash with a bit of money.
Wake up Lohan’s we are all laughing at you!!
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How low is her self esteem that she’s made it her lifes mission to date and marry low level reality stars?
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27? Yeah right. And I’m an ovum who’s a very skilled typist.
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I love the picture of Michael with his luxuriously long, platinum Barbie hair (with complimentary headband). As children, we used to put pillow cases on our heads as hair and pretend to be Barbies.
Thanks Michael, good to know some traditions never get old.
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So if Michael and Kate mate, will they give birth to one of the four harbingers of the Apocalypse?
I mean since the upstanding Christian already contributed half his genetics to spawn the A++ Famewhore, la Lilo. . .
God help us all.
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Um, what does Michael Lohan do for money? What does a slob like him make? A ring? Really. A CZ most likely.
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Without the media as enabler, neither Michael Lohan or Kate Major would have a platform upon which to play out this charade. We are responsible for this coupling, and ultimately, we will be responsible for its demise. As long as we continue to consume, comment and criticize the behavior of people like ML and KM, they will only be too happy to oblige. Your outrage only makes them feel they are achieving the notoriety, and indeed, the fame they long for. Until we become completely desensitized to the antics of these media whores, they will proliferate and pollute the airwaves.
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@LolaBella: John can’t afford one of Tigers whores.Lol.
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There is something seriously wrong with Kate Majors – talk about being a total nut job – this is a match made in heaven!
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How do either of them pay for anything??
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This woman must have a thing for dead beat dads….first Jon gosslin who only desides to take part in his kids lives when Kate becomes a so called celeb and is making money….which is probably the only reason he wants the kids so he can take her money…..and now mr. Lohan…..who idk why he’s famous probably because of Lindsey or because he’s been seen playing golf so much that the papa started taking pics…..what’s this bit**** deal….she’s pitiful!!!!! Someone find her a REAL MAN not these wanna bes
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Should I feel worried that I feel the same way as Lindsay? Michael is so cheesey to ask Kate’s father permission in a hot tub.
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I think they’re perfect for each other.
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Lindsey is vomitous because she can’t hold her liquor. Who’s she kidding.
Oh, and I bet Kate is preggo.
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Michael Lohan has to rank as one of the most vile celeb fathers ever. Ryan O’Neil still number 1.
Honestly, when you look at Michael and “White Oprah” (thanks Michael K) is it any wonder that Lindsay is so messed up? Her father has served TIME more than once…her mom? please. lindsay lived at chateau marmont at 15/16…and last year we saw her lil’ 16 yr old sis traipse all over paris with her…not in school. . .
no parental supervision already clubbing with Lindsay on occasion. . .seriously. . .these are not parents in any sense of the word.
If lindsay had parents who were even 10% there, she would be doing far better…but no. And this is the result of their fine efforts…
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Did he actually say he’s known her for 5 years? I thought they were introduced by Gosselin.
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