Remember Coolio? He’s the rapper who did “Gangster’s Paradise” in the mid-nineties. Yeah, that guy. Well Coolio is now a castmate on “Celebrity Big Brother.” That’s right, they play fast and loose with the word “celebrity.” The only other name I’m sure I recognize on the cast list is LaToya Jackson. You see my point here. Even though there isn’t a lot of star power behind these celebs, there’s at least a lot of crazy. And really, isn’t that the most important part of successful reality television?

Coolio is making a name for himself with the rest of the cast. Mostly due to his wild theories about the origins of computers, the lack of human intelligence, and the future-predicting capabilities of movies.

FORGET Microsoft and AppleMac – Coolio reckons computers came from aliens! He told [co-star] Terry [Christian]: “All this technology. You think it came from this planet?… Bulls**t! I don’t think men are that smart. I think it came from somewhere else.”

An interesting theory from the 45-year-old, who also claimed that films can predict the future. He went on: “Movies are made twenty years before they happen. Look at Face Off with John Travolta. Nobody thought that s**t would happen, but it has… The movie Independence Day – that’s gonna happen.”

The gangster chef then waffled about pyramids on Mars, before concluding: “Microbiotics, computer science, jet planes – they came from a different planet.”

From the sound of things, so did he.

[From The Sun]

Supposedly Coolio is a bit of an instigator on the show, and has upset the other castmates by saying offensive things about violence and women. In fact it sounds like he’s putting a lot of work into testing people’s good graces. Which makes me wonder if maybe he’s just saying this shit to piss people off, start a fight, and/or get attention. I can’t help but hope that’s true, otherwise Coolio’s next stint is going to be in “Celebrity Rehab.” Perhaps they’ll have a mental health version.

I’m embarrassed to admit I kind of agree with him about “Face Off.” And there’s a slight chance I had the same thought when I read about the first face transplant a few years ago. But he’s still crazier than me.

Here’s Coolio arriving at the Celebrity Big Brother 2009 opening night in Borehamwood, England on January 2nd. Images thanks to WENN.

Coolio was once cool. With the release of “Gangsta’s Paradise” in 1995, he was on top of the charts and equal with Snoop Dogg in urban music popularity. But somehow he lost the momentum and his subsequent releases failed to make a mark. Personally, I contribute his fall to his sanctimonious objection to Weird Al’s “Amish Paradise” parody. Yankovic holds favor with the music gods and disagreeing with him brings about their wrath every time. Eminem wouldn’t let Weird Al parody “Lose Yourself” and look where he is. James Blunt’s record company rescinded their permission to parody “You’re Beautiful” and doomed Blunt to declaring he’d stop making music as people have requested if they paid him enough. Prince has repeatedly refused Yankovic, but he actually is one of the music gods, so he gets a pass.

But Coolio wasn’t so lucky and his music career tanked. Like so many other struggling celebrities, Coolio went the reality competition show route to try and keep himself in the public eye, but it never really worked. He did Celebrity Fear Factor, Celebrity Boot Camp, Celebrity Paranormal Project and I don’t think anyone even knew it. So now, still equating himself with Snoop, Coolio is trying the family reality show, like Snoop Dogg’s Fatherhood.

LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) – Has the classic TV family sitcom been replaced by the family-focused reality series? There’s a strong argument to be made with the premiere of “Coolio’s Rules,” starring a bumbling buffoon of a father and his four whiny kids, each with an outsized sense of entitlement.

With exposure from the show, Coolio may be able to revive a rap career that pretty much flatlined more than a decade ago. He might also launch a new career as the Ghetto Gourmet, complete with cookbook and catering service.

The premise of the series is that Coolio is going to try to be the father he never was when his kids were growing up. Now that the eldest two, Artisha and Brandi, are 20, and the others are 18 (Artis) and 15 (Jackie), dad is going to try to instill in them the wisdom he learned as a child (except, maybe, the part about being jailed for larceny at age 17).

[From Reuters]

OK! Magazine says that Coolio, who is a single father, is one of those militant-dad types when it comes to his kids dating. It all sounds a bit over the top to me, there’s little doubt in my mind this is played up for TV. Coolio claims he confronts his daughters’ dates with a pit bull and knife while explaining how he expects them to behave.

Coolio is shown at the
But crazy is sometimes entertaining. Coolio tells of walking into the house and finding one of his daughters sitting on a guy’s lap, much to Dad’s objection.

When she wouldn’t move and reminded him that she was 20-years old, Coolio replied “…you better get yourself a 20-year-old house then!”

A new and novel way of saying “my house, my rules,” and it’s not the last Coolio-ism he’s got in him. If you’re interested, Coolio’s Rules premieres Tuesday, Oct. 28 at 10 p.m. on Oxygen.