These are pictures of Lindsay arriving to a Hollywood Hills “party” at 4:30 a.m. Sunday morning. Seriously. I hope I don’t sound like too much of an old fart, but that’s just wrong. When I was a teenager, I could pull that kind of all-nighter stuff in general, but I have never, ever, ever gone to a party at 4:30 a.m. But apparently, Lindsay is up for it. She’s not only up for it, she went to this party after spending the previous hours clubbing at Voyeur. Where she probably threw a tantrum over paying for her drinks.

Oh, yes. Last week, Fox News carried a story
about Lindsay trying to pawn her bar bill off onto Kellan Lutz. When handed a bill, she apparently told the waitress to just put it on Kellan’s credit card without telling him. While I didn’t doubt the story, People Magazine is now running a different, even sketchier version. Note: I’m not sure if the incident described is from the same night, or if this is an entirely different night where Lindsay threw another tantrum over paying her bill:

Lohan, 23, was partying at the Crown Bar in Los Angeles Nov. 6, and, according to one onlooker, caused quite a scene when asked to ante up for her drinks.

“Lindsay stormed into the kitchen and grabbed two bottles of really expensive champagne. She finished both bottles with a friend. When the bartender gave her a bill, she had a meltdown,” says the source. “She was yelling at him and screaming profanities at everyone. The bar insisted she pay, so she had to call a friend with her credit-card information.”

Before the actress left the club around 2:30 a.m., the onlooker says, “She was crying and wanted to go home. She kept saying ‘I don’t pay for drinks! This is ridiculous! I’m freaking out!’ “

[From People]

You know it’s bad when People Magazine is calling Lindsay on her bullsh-t. That’s the beginning of the end. By the way, what world does Lindsay Lohan live in, where she not only thinks everyone should give her free drinks, but she actually cries and whines when they don’t give her free drinks? My guess is that world is called “Marguaritaville”. Probably right next to Crackheadburg. Two exits after Adderall Township.

Speaking of which, apparently on one of Lindsay’s crackhead adventures last week, she ran into her old friend/lover Courtenay Semel. Courtenay actually came out publicly several weeks ago and wrote one of several “open letters” to Lindsay about how Lohan needs to go to rehab, stat. Courtenay’s last rehab visit finally stuck, and now she wants Lindsay to go as well. In the letter, Courtenay talked about how Lindsay needs to go away for six months, find God and sobriety, and leave her 15 year old sister Ali the hell alone (more on Ali in a minute). Apparently, when Lindsay and Courtenay ran into each other at mutual friend Brittny Gastineau’s birthday party last week, Courtenay said all of that to Lindsay’s face. Lindsay started crying and threw a tantrum, predictably. Good try, Courtenay!

Now, onto Ali Lohan. Apparently, while in Los Angeles, Lindsay has been staying in hotels and she’s forcing her little sister to stay with her. Like, in her bed. A source tells Fox News 411 that Lindsay thinks making Ali come and stay with her is a way of “protecting” Ali. Christ.

As Lindsay Lohan’s father continues to leak private phone calls to the media, the troubled star is turning to her 14-year-old support as her sole support system.

“Lindsay lives out of a lot of hotels these days and if her sister, Ali is staying with her, Lindsay wants her to sleep in the same room,” a friend of Lindsay’s tells Fox411. “She’ll get two rooms, but put all the clothes and luggage in one room. She needs the support and love that having Ali around gives her. Having Ali by her side gives her comfort and she likes to think she is also protecting Ali.”

And while Lindsay hardly seems to be in a position to protect anyone, perhaps her instincts are for good reason. In the latest leaked conversation from Michael Lohan, Lindsay’s mother Dina discusses the status of Lindsay’s cutting/self-mutilation habits.

“The release of all the audio tapes has been terrible for Lindsay. She will never trust her father again and she’s had to handle a lot of it on her own.”

To add insult to injury, things with ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson don’t seem to be going according to Lohan’s plans either.

“Lindsay is going through a lot right now and she and Sam are more distant than ever,” our source revealed. “She and Sam still speak, but Sam is working on other projects and is even doing a remix of some Good Charlotte music, which ties her further to Nicole Richie. Lindsay and Nicole no longer speak, but she wants Sam to be happy so she trying to let it go.”

[From Fox News 411]

One last note about the Lohan family: Michael Lohan has been accused of “skipping out on a promise to raise money for people with special needs.” The director of Family Residences and Essential Enterprises (a Long Island charity that helps special-needs families) claims that Michael was going to participate in a charity boxing match, the proceeds of which would go to FREE, but that Michael “didn’t show up”. The director, Jeff Cohen, took to Page Six to call Michael a “famewhore” and questions Michael’s manhood. Well done. Who hasn’t the Lohan family offended?

Here’s Lindsay arriving at that Hollywood Hills party at 4:30 AM Sunday morning, November 15, 2009. Credit: WENN.

This is going to be a massive Lindsay Lohan post, so I apologize in advance. There are a bunch of stories about Lindsay in the tabloids (all bad) and there are some little pieces of news here and there. First up: Lindsay Lohan is no longer banned from the club Avenue. Apparently, Lindsay was banned several months ago after the strange incident where she was there at the same time as Justin Timberlake, and she tweeted that he was a “jb cheater”, as in he was cheating on Jessica Biel. Apparently Justin pulled some strings and Lohan became persona non grata at Avenue. Well, that’s over. Page Six reports that while Lindsay had previously been “denied entry” to Avenue since the incident, she’s been partying at Avenue a lot this week. A source claims “She besieged the management with calls and e-mails to let her back in, and she promised to be on her best behavior.” Apparently, Lindsay even followed through, even turning away offers of free drinks. Probably because she was so cracked out, but whatever.

The second Lohan story comes by way of Life & Style via E! News. Lindsay gave L&S an interview about how her 15-year-old sister goes clubbing and accompanies her everywhere. Lindsay says that Ali is “tougher than I am” and that Ali “has a good head on her shoulders. Maybe it was different for me because I didn’t know what to expect and it just happened really fast. I didn’t have a big sister.” Lindsay also says that Ali is “really good” about doing her homework (because Ali is allegedly home schooled… at the School of Cracked-Out Hard Knocks and Clubbing). Lindsay says: “If I’m going out late, she’ll go home early.” Oh, Jesus. I don’t even want to get into this sh-t. Ali is going to end up worse than Lindsay.

Meanwhile, Star Magazine is still claiming that Lindsay is cutting herself, which I actually believe. HuffPo ran some huge close-ups of Lindsay at the Whitney Gala, and you can see a little bit of how her arms look scarred and busted. Star also reports that Lindsay’s hookup with Balthazar Getty happened the night before her big court date, and that after court she went on a huge bender, “drinking vodka and sugar-free Red Bull, slurring her words… She had circles under her eyes and looked like she hadn’t showered in days.” Star also notes that Lindsay seems “hellbent on destroying herself” and they seem to think Michael Lohan’s half-assed kidnap-and-intervention idea might be the best thing going (apparently they don’t know he’s a toxic parrot).

Speaking kidnapping Lindsay and forcing her into an intervention, In Touch Weekly has this absolutely crazy Lohan story this week. At first it starts out as just a typical “Lohan is a f-cking wreck” story – IT’s source says Lindsay “is taking so many prescription pills… there’s nothing behind her eyes.” Then IT totally runs with Michael’s intervention, publishing three open letters to Lindsay about how rough she is. One is from Michael, one is from Courtenay Semel, and one is from a “professional interventionist.” Now, I do think Lindsay needs help, but some of this is getting very circus-freak gross.

Michael’s letter is ridiculous. Obviously, he thinks all of Lindsay’s problems are about him, beginning his letter with a question about what he did to mess Lindsay up. Michael also uses phrases like “my blessed daughter” and “I have held your vacant body in my arms”. But, no worries. Michael has “helped so many other successfully… Linds, please, Honey, please let me help you.” Michael worst sentence ever: “As a parent and as a man of God who loves his family while others make this about money and slander, Honey, I did not and will not.” It gets grosser too but I can’t type it in. I’m too digusted.

Courtenay Semel is Lindsay’s former girlfriend/friend, but they haven’t been close since Courtenay got clean earlier this year. She actually had some more common sense advice in her letter – stuff like “Let Ali go be a kid” and “go take some time away from yourself”. Courtenay’s advice is basically go away for six months, go to rehab, get clean, find God and get a fresh start. Not bad. The letter from the “professional interventionist” is a little funny though – it sounds like a lawyer wrote it. It’s basically like “you may be an addict, but I can’t say for sure because then you might sue me, but maybe you should get some help okay? Don’t sue.”

Many people have been comparing Lindsay’s decay to Britney Spears’s drama. My take? I tend to think Lindsay should be compared to Amy Winehouse. Amy didn’t really get clean, she just temporarily gave up drugs for rum and the Caribbean. Which wouldn’t really be the worst option for Lindsay if she didn’t feel like really doing the heavy lifting of getting sober. In any case, the best advice is Courtenay’s – Lohan should go away for six months. Do something else.

Ali is shown on 10/4/09 at Paris Fashion week and out with Lindsay in Paris on 10/9/09. Credit: Fame Pictures

Courtenay Semel, who is known for dating Lindsay Lohan and Tila Tequila, but is now on-again with Johnson & Johnson Heiress Casey Johnson, has been cut off from her trust fund. Surprisingly, it isn’t because of her association with Lindsay or Tila, but rather because of her recent brawling. Her father is former yahoo CEO Terry Semel.

“My family cut me off,” she whined, saying that daddy Terry Semel froze her trust fund and now won’t answer her calls.

“I don’t want to be known for all this craziness in my life,” said the 29-year-old Semel, star of the E! reality series “Filthy Rich: Cattle Drive.”

“It’s ruined a lot of friendships and relationships with my friends and my family, most important. I haven’t been in contact with my family, and the only way they know what’s going on with me is Page Six.”

The last straw for Pops was his daughter’s run-in with a Vegas security guard who barred her re-entry into a club last year. In a drunken stupor, she famously screamed, “Do you even know who I am, f- – -ing idiot? Google me, you dumb f- – -,” before allegedly punching him in the face.

“I’m not used to the word ‘no,’ ” she said.

She recalled, “I’m sitting in a jail in the basement of Caesars Palace, with these guards yelling in my face . . . It led me to a rock bottom, which I’m in now.”

The charges were dropped, but the security guard is suing her.

“I literally have been in a downward spiral since all this has happened. I lost my family, I’ve been cut off.”

“I just never thought about how to put gas in my car or food on the table,” she said. “I was fully supported, I wasn’t worried.”

New York Post

Courtenay is turning 30 years old this year, and she’s never had to think about gas or food? When her father retired she never thought about supporting herself, and she never considered how she might pay a credit card bill. She’s never felt a need or desire to be an independent person, she’s been fine just taking the money from her parents. I just don’t understand this at all.

Courtenay fortunately has a plan – she’s going to show everyone she can be a mogul like her dad – she’s going to appear in a reality show.

This might not be the worst idea ever – Paris Hilton is obviously an heiress like Courtenay, but works hard on her reality shows, clothing range, public appearances and music career. She doesn’t work as hard as someone who establishes themselves from nothing, studying for years in order to have the expertise to create a clothing line or music, but she does work hard at honing her public image. Courtenay, who famously screamed at a security guard “Do you know who I am?”, should go see Paris’ stylist. Paris isn’t that attractive, but manages to look pretty good. Courtenay could use some help in that department.

Courteney Semel is shown out with Tila Tequila on 11/24/08 and with Casey Johnson on 1/27/09. Credit: Fame

It must suck to date Lindsay Lohan. Aside from the obvious reasons, which we won’t even get in to. No one likes to think about their current partner’s past. In fact we all know it’s polite behavior to generally assume they never loved, liked, or kissed anyone until you came along. Then all of a sudden it was like a rush of hormones and they discovered all these previously unknown emotions.

But that’s pretty damn hard when three quarters of Hollywood knows exactly how many freckles your lady love has on her lady bits. Thus the dilemma of being Samantha Ronson. While dating Lohan has some obvious advantages – including increased career exposure for the deejay – as someone who does the music at the very best parties, the odds of running into some guy that Lindsay use to… well… [insert various filthy act here ______]… are pretty damn high. And several previous lovers all came together to make Ronson and Lohan feel damn uncomfortable at a party recently.

Talk about awkward: Lindsay Lohan was celebrating the grand opening of West Hollywood club Apple Lounge with Samantha Ronson on August 14 when she ran into two ex-boyfriends – and an ex-girlfriend! “Lindsay chatted with her ex Harry Morton for a few minutes,” a witness explains about the first encounter. “Sam wasn’t thrilled.” Lindsay, 22, was there to support her live-in galpal, who was deejaying the event. But before the night was over, another of Lindsay’s exes, Calum Best, showed up, followed by former girlfriend Courtenay Semel. Although Lindsay’s rep says, “It wasn’t awkward for her to be with all of her exes,” a witness says, “That was definitely enough drama for Lindsay. She made sure the rest of the night was very mellow, drinking little as she smoked and stuck by Sam’s side.” “Lindsay reassured Sam,” a witness says, “by gently rubbing her lower back whenever they were alone.” Courtenay Semel dated Lindsay in late 2007, says an insider. Lindsay dated Calum Best for three months in 2007. Harry Morton romanced Lindsay in 2006.

[From In Touch]

I love how In Touch is polite enough to say “romanced.” As though anyone, guy or girl, has ever bothered to slip even the slightest notion of romance into a relationship with Lindsay. Here is what qualifies for romance to a Lohan: “Oh you didn’t slip any GHB into my drink? That’s so thoughtful of you! Sure I’ll take my panties off.” Roses and chocolates are not required.

Here’s Lindsay Lohan, Calum Best, Tila Tequila and Courtenay Semel at the Apple Lounge Grand Opening on August 14th. Header of Lohan and Samantha shopping yesterday. Images thanks to WENN.

Courtenay Semel – the woman who supposedly was Lindsay Lohan’s first lesbian love – is easily the ugliest creature I have ever seen. Dlisted had a side-by-side image of her next to the Grinch, and the resemblance is uncanny. Even funnier is that several British tabloids referred to her as “stunning” last week. I’m assuming “stunning” is actually British slang for “looks like she got beat up with a bat.” I mean there’s ugly where you sort of feel badly for the person, and then there’s the sort of ugly where you’re actually mad at the person for existing, and shoving their ugly in your face. Courtenay is that kind of ugly.

Semel is now dating Tila Tequila. Always a good idea. Courtenay is also apparently pretty mad that she has a mouth that looks like she’s storing a giftbox. That’s the only reason I can guess why she’s act like a complete lunatic and end up getting her ugly ass arrested on Tuesday night.

COURTENAY Semel, the wild-child lesbian daughter of former Yahoo chief Terry Semel, went on a tear Tuesday night in Las Vegas and ended up spending the night in jail. Semel showed up in the party town without new girlfriend Tila Tequila and started the night at Sushi Samba in the Palazzo with Kourtney Kardashian. “They were filming their dinner for ‘Keeping Up With the Kardashians’ ” our spy said. Later, Kardashian called it a night and Semel went out to Pure at Caesars with Vegas showman Jeff Beacher – and proceeded to “go nuts,” a spy said. “Courtenay got so drunk she was falling down. Security asked her to leave, but she refused.” Semel finally left, but on her way out there was an altercation with a security guard. “She was arrested and spent the night in jail,” a Semel pal confirmed. “And she lost her phone.” Calls to Semel weren’t returned. Vegas police said, “We can’t confirm at this time.”

[From Page Six]

Here’s Courtenay at the Palazzo Hotel’s Sushi Samba Sugarcane Boutique Club in Vegas on Tuesday. Sorry. I’ve got to attach photos, and as much as I’d like to give you something less stomach-churning to look at, it just seemed weird to put up a picture of a rainbow or spaghetti cat or something. Header of Semel with Tila Tequila at the Apple Lounge Grand Opening in West Hollywood on August 14th. Images thanks to WENN.

Courtenay Semel and her new girlfriend, Tila Tequila, on 8/14/08. Tequila confirmed to in Touch in their 8/18 issue that they’re a couple. Credit: Faye Sadou / WENN

Lindsay Lohan was living with socialite Courtenay Semel in LA late last year. There were rumblings that the two were more than just friends, but Lindsay was also dating guys at the time and she wasn’t seen out much with Courtenay.

Courtenay was said to be jealous of any other women that talked to Lindsay and moved out of the Hollywood home they shared in late January.

Semel is the daughter of Yahoo! CEO Terry Semel, and is now openly dating idiotic reality star Tila Tequila.

Apparently she’s not over Lindsay, though, because she’s resorted to talking to the UK paper that gives ex lovers of celebrities a chance to sensationalize their past – The News of The World. Courtenay told the rag that she’s perplexed that Lindsay so quickly moved on to Samantha. She’s also upset that Lindsay refused to acknowledge their relationship, but is openly dating Samantha now:

Lindsay now does little to disguise the tenderness of her relationship with British DJ Samantha Ronson—but this is only after months of covert gay experiments with stunning brunette Courtenay Semel.

Everyone thinks Samantha is Lindsay’s first lesbian love, but we were very passionate until her fear of being found out drove us apart,” Courtenay told a pal.

“At the time she was terrified her career would be over if she revealed her sexual tendencies.

“But then Samantha came on to the scene and I was dropped.”

Courtenay, 25, also told how 22-year-old Lindsay, whose films include Herbie, Fully Loaded and Mean Girls:

BEDDED a string of men in a bid to suppress her lesbian urges — and to hide them from her public.

SANK into addictions as the pressure of her double life grew.

SLIPPED into a bizarre love triangle with both women.

Courtenay’s pal explained: “She met Lindsay in the summer of 2006 at a party in Malibu.

“From the start Lindsay was very confused about her feelings for Courtenay so did more and more drugs to stifle the sexual attraction she was experiencing.

“But eventually she just gave in and at every party they’d kiss and touch each other in the corner. It’s a miracle nobody found out.

“Both of them would do lines of cocaine in the toilets then head home and fall into bed together.”

Throughout the following year, the pair stumbled through an on- off relationship as troubled Lindsay checked into a succession of rehab units and continued to date men as a ‘cover’. But it was as early as January 2007 that she first met 31-year-old Samantha, sister of pop guru Mark Ronson.

[From News of the World]
This makes it seem as if a lot of Lindsay’s addiction and sexual problems came about as she tried to cope with her feelings toward women. Of course it doesn’t excuse her very obnoxious and harmful behavior, and she’s probably still a self-entitled brat, but at least she’s relatively sober and well-behaved compared to her wild past.

Courtenay eventually left Lindsay when she kept sleeping with men and didn’t seem able to take the relationship seriously. She says that Lindsay and Samanth were just friends for a while and that Samantha often gave her advice. The article concludes by making Courtenay seem like a crazy jealous person who is unable to move on:

By October, Courtenay appeared to have the upper hand. [over Samantha] She and Lindsay moved into a rented house in Beverly Hills. “But still Lindsay brought men back,” the pal added. “Courtenay would throw fits of rage, writing her hundreds of angry e-mails from another room in the house.

“The sexual attraction between them was electric though and they’d still kiss and make up.”

That ended last December when Lindsay bedded one man too many and, unable to take more humiliation, Courtenay moved out.

It was less than a week later that Samantha was back on the scene. Outwardly, at least, Lindsay became a changed person, even turning blonde.

The pal added: “Courtenay still can’t understand how Lindsay is now so open with Samantha.

“Every time she sees a picture of them together it kills her.

[From News of the World]
Maybe Lohan just never openly dated Semel because their relationship wasn’t stable. It’s no wonder she refused to make it known that they were together when Semel was acting like that – she must have doubted it would last.

Star Magazine reports this week that Courtenay ran into Lindsay and Samantha at a lounge at bar in LA and that she “was staring daggers [at Lindsay and Sam] all night.” It looks like Tila Tequila is more this woman’s speed and that Lindsay made a wise choice by picking Sam.

Lindsay and Courtenay are shown below in December, 2007. Credit: Splash News

Here are more photos of Courtenay and Tila Tequila on 8/14 and 8/18. Credit: WENN and PRPhotos. Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are shown out at the movies and to lunch on Saturday and out for a walk on Sunday. Credit: Fame Pictures