Paul Bettany and Jennifer Connelly. I think Jennifer and Paul are maybe the sexiest actor-couple right now. Yeah, you could make the argument for Angelina and Brad, or Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz, but for my money, Paul and Jennifer are perfect, because they are both my type – she’s a tough, smart brunette beauty, and he’s a ginger and an Englishman. The photo of Jennifer in the black bra… yeah, that’s why Paul is a lucky bastard. And the way he looks at her, the way his arm is always out for her to take… that’s why she’s a lucky bitch. I want them both. Oh, and just prepare yourselves, because there’s a lot of love for gingers in this list.

Julianne Moore. GINGER FIRE. And Julianne was born with it. She’s aging so beautifully, and she’s not messing with her face and I just love her, okay? She’s so sexy to me, but beyond my attraction to her, I just simply LIKE her.

Rufus Sewell. I’ve always liked him because he seems rather smarmy, and he’s got an accent, and that’s basically all I need, but for the past two weeks, PBS Masterpiece Mystery has been airing Zen, where Rufus plays a cop in Rome. It’s a really good show, and Rufus wanders around Rome like he just stepped out La Dolce Vida, wearing smart Armani suits and being all ethical and smart and sexy. I love him now.

Emily Deschanel. It’s not even about Emily’s body for me, although she does have a lovely figure (she’s one of the few women on television who seems to gain weight as her show – Bones – goes season to season). It’s about her beautiful, impossible, incredible face! I love her face. She’s like the television version of Angelina Jolie, as far as beauty goes. All of those features together should be very strange, but they all somehow work to make a strikingly beautiful woman.

Christina Hendricks. GINGER FIRE. Also: BOOB FIRE. Christina may have hit-or-miss styles, but can we all agree that the rack is incredible? And the ginger is quite something too. With all of the boobage and the ginge, you know what goes unnoticed and unremarked on? Christina has a sexy voice. It’s girly and feminine and sexy without her doing a Paris Hilton-like “sexy baby” voice.

Sam Rockwell. He’s not traditionally “handsome”. But I love him. He reminds me of my dog, honestly, and I adore my dog. They both have sweet eyes and they seem eager to please. I didn’t mean anything gross about my dog, okay? I’m not having sex with my dog. But I’d like to do something doggy-style with Sam.

Kelly Brook. Perfect hourglass figure. Perfect proportions. Sigh… I want. That’s all I’ve got. I still can’t decide whether I’d rather have her body in place of mine, or whether I’d like to just spend the night with her.

Paula Malcomson (By CB) I’ve been watching Deadwood on HBO Go, and damned if there aren’t so many attractive people in that show. Paula plays Trixie, and she’s feisty and so lovely to watch. She’ll lift up her skirt just as soon as she’ll shoot you. Like Kaiser I love the gingers. Paula is Irish, and she’s also been on Lost and Sons of Anarchy. She’s about to make her big screen debut as Katniss’ mom in The Hunger Games. I was so excited to read that today and I can’t wait to see her.

John Hawkes (By CB) Hawkes plays Sol Star on Deadwood and I adore his character’s matter-of-fact demeanor and the straight way he plays him. I know he’s not traditionally hot, but there’s something so attractive about his piercing blue eyes and floppy hair. He’s an incredible actor too. Hawkes was nominated for an academy award for best supporting actor last year for Winter’s Bone.

Deborah Ann Woll (By CB) Here’s another ginger, the gorgeous 25 year-old actress who plays Jessica Hamby on True Blood. She’s so strikingly pretty and she could easily be vamping it up on the red carpet, but she plays it safe in comparatively conservative dresses. Her boyfriend, E.J. Scott, is legally blind and she advocates for awareness of his condition, a degenerative eye disorder called choroideremia. I also was able to find out that she dyes her hair that gorgeous red color at home. She just seems so lovely and down to earth.

Nelsan Ellis (By CB) A lot of people have the mistaken belief that this Ellis is gay, since he so convincingly plays flamboyant character Lafayette on True Blood. He has a longterm female partner though and a son. Whichever way he swings, you cannot deny that Ellis is the sex.

Asia Argento (by Bedhead) Not only is this Italian woman blindingly gorgeous, but she can wear the hell out of almost any dress on the red carpet. Furthermore, Asia’s also made a huge splash with her acting career and managed to step out of her father’s shadow in her own right. She’s also kooky as hell and has a real sense of humor about herself, so it’s easy to imagine hanging out with her, having a few drinks, and well, you know…

Alyssa Milano (by Bedhead) I’ve had a girl crush on this one since she graced the pages of Tiger Beat and Bop magazine on a monthly basis. Somehow, Alyssa managed to shed the “child star” curse and graduate into full-fledged adult actress. Of course, she’s always best on the small screen where one can appreciate her in the privacy of one’s own living room.

Trent Reznor (by Bedhead) Sigh, what can I say about this guy? For starters, he’s the master of angst and as sullen as they come, but Reznor’s devoted legion of fans will never desert him. Even though he’s worked through most of his anger, he can still deliver just as much in concert as when he was previously coked up to the gills. Score one for sobriety, and (NSFW link) God Save The Keyboards.

Melanie Laurent (by Bedhead) Thank goodness for Quentin Tarantino, who unearthed this little French treasure for all of us yanks to enjoy as well. Melanie can convey such intensity with her performances, but I find her most captivating when she tosses back her head in laughter on the red carpet. Such joie de vivre, no?

Eva Green (by Bedhead) She’s positively gorgeous without a doubt, but a lot of what I love about this woman has to do with her attitude. Eva is so smoky, sultry and just plain bloody weird. I’d even go so far to wager that she’d be fantastic in bed; yet the truth of the matter is that, in person, she’d probably freak me out so much that I’d run like hell.

Amy Smart (by Bedhead) I’ve always found Amy to be positively adorable, and she’s a perfectly competent actress. It’s too bad that she gets stuck in a lot of trash, whether it’s straight-to-DVD or otherwise. Perhaps she’ll finally get that big mainstream break one day, or maybe I’ll just stay content to watch her under the radar.

Guy Ritchie (by Bedhead) Fortunately, he’s no longer known as Mr. Madonna, and he was always too good for her anyway. Ah yes, I adore a bloke with a lovely English accent and especially one who makes movies featuring characters with fetching Cockney accents. Quite simply, Ritchie’s an Anglophile’s wet dream come true.

Tilda Swinton. (By Kaiser) She’s not really a girl or a guy, honestly, but we can’t really have a “Hot Alien Friday” can we? She’s a mixture of David Bowie, a cat, and a Rolls Royce, all mixed up in some kind of alien hybrid and we can just enjoy her for what she is: strange and beautiful and our Alien Dessert of the week. And Perfect.

Photos courtesy of Fame, WENN, domestic & international editions of Vogue, Elle, Vanity Fair, GQ, Details, Esquire, Entertainment Weekly, Google Images.

Cate Blanchett. Some of you will claim that Cate isn’t “sexy” enough to be on Hot Girl Friday. You’re so wrong. While Cate doesn’t have a trashy, vampy, sexpot allure, her allure is something so much more substantial. That’s it, really. Cate is Substance. She is Talent. She is Quality. And that’s sexy. Remember how Hot Girl Friday started – I was reading one of those “Hot Girl” lists on some men’s site and I realized that I found none of their hot women attractive in the least. Cate is the kind of woman other women appreciate and love (although I hope men love her too). I imagine having a conversation with Cate is erotic. When I’ve seen her in interviews, she comes across as so intelligent, so witty, but with a slightly goofy, self-deprecating vibe. She’s self-aware and cool. And I love that she isn’t messing with her face. She is one of my Forever Biscuits, and she deserves to be one of yours too.

Mary Louise Parker. I don’t even think Mary Louise Parker is beautiful. She’s pretty, sure. But she’s more than her looks – she’s honest and funny and smart as hell and she gives great interviews. And she doesn’t care about getting naked on camera or doing raunchy sex scenes or doing sexy photo shoots. She’s just a cool chick, and I get the feeling that men fall all over her. And why not? She’s got the best attitude, and she seems like the most fun.

Doutzen Kroes. Doutzen is my favorite model! I love her athletic body, and I love that she talks a lot about how much work it takes for her to achieve her spectacular figure. I love that she looks like she eats, I love her hair, I love her lips, and I love that in her mind, she’s just an average Dutch girl. As far as her crazy-beautiful face… don’t you think she sort of looks like the love child of Claudia Schiffer and Denise Richards? Now that I’ve said, you can’t unsee it, can you?!? Oh, and Doutzen just had a baby too! She tweeted a photo of him too. Here’s a pic of her baby, and here’s one of Doutzen with her boyfriend/baby-daddy.

Iman. I mean, she’s a beauty icon, and a personal icon. She skin glows. She’s is ageless and timeless. She’s smart and interesting and she’s a brilliant businesswoman. And David Bowie still looks like he’s head-over-heels in love, doesn’t he? Why wouldn’t he be? She’s like… I don’t know, an old-fashion goddess, a throw-back to another era.

Mila Kunis. I was quite in love with Mila Kunis for a while there last year. She just kept giving good interviews, and all of a sudden the slightly gawky, pretty girl turned into a bombshell. She seems really low-key and put-together, and I have my fingers crossed that she doesn’t end up with Justin Timberlake. I think she’s way too smart for that, and by all accounts, she’s shot him down multiple times. Also: I love the way the camera loves her. She’s something different in still photos – a goddess.

Leighton Meester & Jessica Szohr. Because the two vapid, pantless blondes on Gossip Girl get too much attention. And because I have a not-so-secret affinity for haughty brunette bitches. Leighton seems adorable/sexy, while Jessica is just… gorgeous. To me, at least. I find her incredible sexy in photos.

Archie Panjabi. By request! I’ve only seen Archie in Bend It Like Beckham (she played the older sister who was getting married) and A Mighty Heart. I keep meaning to watch The Good Wife, and I know I would enjoy it! It sounds good, and the people on it are wonderful. Anyway, Archie was a request, via Twitter. Enjoy!

Diane Lane. I don’t even know what to say beyond: Unfaithful. You watch that, and you know. Diane is The Sex. She’s also a damn good actress. I love her and her tragic style.

Penelope Cruz (By CB) I love Penelope’s accent and her body is to die for, even after she just had a baby. I want her hair, I want her boobs and I definitely want her husband. Maybe I want to be her husband, he is one lucky guy.

Helen Mirren (By CB) Who can forget those incredibly hot bikini photos of dame Helen? She’s wacky, she’s sexy and her costars can’t keep their hands off her. She looks better now at 65 than she ever has and she’s in no way plastic. There’s something so elegant and sensual about Helen.

Gemma Arterton (By CB) British Bond girl Gemma really came onto her own in Prince of Persia, where she played the breathtakingly gorgeous love interest. She’s just 25 and we’re looking forward to seeing much more of her to come.

Heather Graham (By CB) Heather Graham is a space cadet but she’s a knockout. She got to-die for hair, big eyes and a killer body. She’s also 41, can you believe it? It almost makes me want to go… vegan.

Tina Fey! (By CB) For our dessert we should have a comedian since it’s April Fool’s Day, but Tina definitely earns this spot. She’s so funny, she’s so deservedly successful and she hasn’t turned into a Barbie clone like so many other women in her industry. She’s prettier than her contemporaries because she’s real. She hasn’t had a boob job and she doesn’t look all Botoxy and shiny. She hasn’t dyed her hair blonde and she doesn’t bother to wear contacts most of the time. She’s hot and on the rare occasions she works it she knocks it out of the park. Most of the time she just wows us with her humor and snark, though, making us wish she would hang out with us and get drunk. Here’s to Tina, our after dinner cocktail with an unexpected kick.

Photos courtesy of Fame, WENN, the domestic and international additions of Vogue, GQ, Esquire, Allure, FHM, Maxim and Vanity Fair.

From The Desk of Monica Bellucci:

Hello, darlings! My dear friend Clive Owen said I should drop you a line this week for your inaugural Hot Girl Friday. You have given me so much pleasure by making me your headlining Hot Lady, naughty girls. Italian biscuits for everybody!

I sincerely hope you enjoy these ladies as much as I do. I like to imagine them engaging in a ménage à trois with myself and my lover, Vincent Cassel. Perhaps there is a whip involved. Perhaps there is only whipped cream and strawberries. Perhaps…

I hope you don’t think it’s dreadfully un-feminist to spend a little time ogling hot biscuits the same way we ogle hot dongs every other week. Life is to be embraced, and who says we can’t appreciate beautiful women the same way we appreciate beautiful men? Now, since I’m not as well-versed in these spectacular biscuit-and-dongathons as Clive seems to be, I will only say that this is a test – if it goes well, I will hopefully be writing you more letters and I will go in greater detail about that time I spent the night with Clive and his very tipsy wife. I do think poor Clive felt he was being ignored. It was a lovely evening.

Ciao,
Monica

Rachel Weisz. I love Rachel. I think she’s a wonderful actress and a stunningly beautiful woman. Now, I used to think she was kind of overrated, but the tipping point for me was her Oscar-winning role in a completely underrated film, The Constant Gardener. She barely wore any makeup, and she had one of the most memorable pregnant nude scenes in film history. Basically, after that, I thought she was hardcore and I loved it. CB thinks that my love for Rachel means that I’m hot for mega-bitches, though. Sure. I’ll own that.

Sofia Vergara. I mean… everybody wants to motorboat her, right? She’s magnificent. Physically, she’s absolutely gorgeous with that killer body, and then to top it off, she’s self-aware and hilarious. For a special treat, I’m adding an older appearance she did on Jay Leno’s show (or Sofia calls him, “Hay”). She was the second guest… the first guest was Gerard Butler, and they had already met before Leno. It was hilarious.

Angelina Jolie. Yeah, I would. I know many of you hate her, and I know many of you would hit it as well. So sue me, I have a type. Dark-haired busty bitches. There are worse things. Enjoy.

Aishwarya Rai. You knew I’d have to include her, right? Aishwarya Rai is one of Indian’s biggest (and hottest) exports, although most of her career has been spent in Bollywood films. While I’m not exactly “hot” for her, I’ve seen her in interviews, and I find her personality adorable. She seems like a sweetheart. And yes, she’s unbelievably gorgeous.

Katie Cassidy (By CB) This gorgeous 24 year-old made the short-lived and generally awful Melrose Place reboot watchable, and that’s really saying something. Cassidy can act her ass off, and she’s got the bitch role down with enough vulnerability to add nuance to her character. Unfortunately she sometimes dresses like she could use a good stylist, but when she’s dressed well she’s flawless. She’s on Gossip Girl now and I sense a long career for this one.

Emily Blunt (By CB) The new Mrs. John Krasinski just exudes casual confidence, even when she’s dressed completely fug, which is often. She’s lovely and talented and Krasinski is a lucky man. With dark or light hair, she’s beautiful. She’s like the hot funny friend you end up making out with after a few drinks. Not that that’s ever happened to me.

Taraji P Henson (By CB) When Taraji was getting all that press in 2009 for her Oscar nomination for Benjamin Button I was like “wow, she’s hot,” and it wasn’t like she was trying much either. This woman is surely sexy when she rolls out of bed, and when she puts on a stylish dress and some amazing shoes she takes it to another level. She almost always gets it right, she changes her hairstyle frequently and she’s fashion-forward without taking it too far. We haven’t seen much of her lately and I’d really like that to change.

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Uma Thurman (By CB) I remember when statuesque Uma was the woman every man wanted and every woman wanted to be. It wasn’t that long ago, and she remains one of the sexiest women in Hollywood. I love how she hasn’t clung to some past ideal and has just gone about her business, being Uma, staying eccentric and remaining naturally gorgeous.

Heidi Klum (By CB) Say what you will about Heidi – she has mom hair, her fashion can be atrocious, and she has a tendency to be everywhere – she’s just very comfortable with herself and she owns her sexuality. Her boobs are natural, she’s got legs that go on forever, and for a hugely popular supermodel/personality, she’s very down to earth. Plus she strikes me as a bossy bitch in the bedroom. I love that.

Emma Thompson. What can you even say about Emma Thompson? She’s magnificent. She’s brilliant. She’s hilarious. She’s self-deprecating. She’s obscenely talented, as a writer and as an actress. And she’s beautiful. I love that she isn’t jacking her face with Botox. I love that she is without ego, and will gladly put on wigs and moles and fake noses and horrible makeup for Nanny McPhee. I love her activism. I love her husband. I love her daughter Gaia. It’s just… love. I would marry her in a heartbeat. And something tells me that if she ever sees this, she would absolutely love being our Hot Biscuit Dessert.

Photos courtesy of Fame, WENN, the Los Angeles Times, and the domestic and international additions of Vogue, GQ, Esquire, Allure, FHM, Maxim and Vanity Fair.