'09

Creepy Joe Jackson – completely unaware of the public’s feelings about aforementioned creepiness – has decided he’d like to keep making money off deceased son Michael for as long as possible. How’s he going to do that? By resurrecting his vocals and pairing Michael’s voice with his brothers – forcing them to get back together once and for all, without Michael’s say.
Daddy Dearest’s newest horror show: Grinning like the dead-eyed zombie Michael Jackson portrayed in “Thriller, smirking shyster Joe Jackson – who shocked America with his child-abusive plan to push grandkids Prince Michael, Paris, and Blanket onstage as the so-called Jackson 3 – touched off a furious family battle with his latest ghoulish scheme: reuniting The Jackson 5 with Jermaine, Jackie, Marlon, and Tito backing their dead superstar bro’ on unissued vocals discovered in his vault.
Said a horrified source close to the family: “Unlike Natalie Cole’s ‘Unforgettable’ duet with deceased dad Nat King Cole, a labor of love, Joe’s spooky scheme is to resurrect meal-ticket Michael and enslave him forever as what he never, ever wanted to be in life – a dumbass oldies act!” The King of Pop’s money-grubbing brothers are – surprise, surprise! – 100% behind Puppet Master Pop, but enraged sisters Janet and La Toya vow they’ll fight the old man’s tacky exploitation of Michael’s memory tooth and nail.
[From the National Enquirer, August 3, 2009, print ed.]
Joe was always pushing for a Jackson 5 reunion, but Michael never agreed. There were rumors he was vaguely into the idea – but considering nothing ever came of it (and all the other brothers and Joe were very much on board) it’s safe to assume he didn’t want to be involved with the project. And if he were going to resurrect old songs, it would have made a lot more sense, business-wise, for him to do his own.
Joe Jackson is evil. There aren’t a whole lot of people who have Evil Eyebrows that aren’t. In fact I can’t think of a single one. When your eyebrows look like that, your personality matches. I’m guessing it’ll never get off the ground because of all the legal issues involved, though obviously a lot of it will depend on who owns the rights to Jackson’s unissued vocals.
In related news, TMZ is reporting that Michael Jackson’s death will “almost certainly” be ruled a homicide.
Law enforcement sources tell us the L.A. County Coroner is scheduled to release the autopsy results in Michael Jackson’s death next week, and the cause of death will “almost certainly” be homicide — death at the hands of another.
We’re told the Coroner himself will make the call mid-week, after he gets the final toxicology report from an outside consultant. But based on the draft report as well as what has become “clear evidence,” causes other than homicide — natural, accidental, accidental overdose, and suicide — have been ruled out.
We’ve already reported that for weeks, the LAPD has treated Jackson’s death as a homicide. They have served multiple criminal search warrants — most recently at Dr. Conrad Murray’s Houston medical office. Dr. Murray is actively being investigated as the person who may have administered the powerful anesthesia Propofol to Jackson the day he died.
We’re told both the Coroner and LAPD have significant evidence that Propofol caused Jackson’s heart to stop.
[From TMZ]
If you were surprised they’re saying homicide, remember homicide is divided into two categories: murder and manslaughter. Though the first assumption might be manslaughter, remember that it is murder if it happened as the result of the commission of another crime or as the result of recklessness endangerment. Depending on the specifics, either one of those could apply to Murray administering Propofol illegally to Jackson. Obviously the police initially suspected him of some sort of wrongdoing since they impounded his car from Jackson’s house right away, and since then the fishiness has only grown. I’m betting he’ll be arrested by Tuesday.
























































