Eva Mendes is incapable of not mentioning how sexy she is

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I think we’ve talked about my general dislike of Eva Mendes before (here for her quotes about being worthy enough to play Maria Callas, here for why she’s a bad actress and here for just a general refresher). It’s not that I think she’s fug (she’s not), it’s not that I think she’s the worst actress ever (but she’s not close to being good, either) and it’s not like she’s even one of the most powerfully dumb or famewhorish celebrities out there (she only comes out and says dumb stuff when she‘s promoting a movie).

But I still dislike her, and here’s why – in interview after interview after boring interview, Eva talks about what a hindrance being sexy is, much like Jessica Biel always talks about how beautiful she is, too beautiful, probably to ever win an Oscar, or like Gwyneth Paltrow’s OCD pontifications on diet and exercise. Eva’s conversational tick, her fallback position, is talking about how sexy she is and how much it sucks to be so f-cking sexy. She’s just so dumb and so boring. Oh, and anyone who claims to be all that shouldn’t appear on the Allure cover looking completely wasted, and like you have phantom fangs (it’s a trick of the light on her visible – and gross – tongue).

Eva Mendes dons Dolce & Gabbana for Michael Thompson in his New York City studio for the August 2010 cover spread of Allure, on newsstands July 20. Here are some choice quotes from the 36-year-old actress:

On her public image: “I don’t want ‘sexy’ to be my defining characteristic”

On her school yearbook photos: “One of the benefits of having a big smile and big teeth is that if you just smile you can look happy”

On a double standard existing when it comes to nudity in Hollywood: “[When] other actresses who aren’t thought of, maybe, as being quite as attractive do full-frontal, they’re called brave. Nobody has ever said, ‘Eva, you’re so brave for doing full-frontal nudity.’ Just because I’m attractive doesn’t mean it’s not still scary. Why am I not brave?”

On her sexy image: “I’m definitely responsible for the image that I put out there,” she says. “But it does become frustrating, because I don’t want ‘sexy’ to be my defining characteristic. I’d love for my ambition and will and intellect and sense of humor to define me as well.”

[Excerpts from Just Jared and CoverAwards]

Why is she not brave? Because she gets paid a lot of money to take off her clothes in films, and that seems to be her only “acting” talent? She’s like Megan Fox, only less annoying and less quotable. So, like a really boring version of Megan Fox. Fox used to do the same sh-t in interviews too – talk endlessly about how hot she was. Don’t these women know that they either come across as full of themselves (at best) or as incredibly, mind-numbingly insecure (at worst)?

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Cover courtesy of Just Jared, additional photos courtesy of Allure’s slideshow.

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43 Responses to “Eva Mendes is incapable of not mentioning how sexy she is”

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  1. lmae says:

    yawn.

  2. InVain says:

    the cover photo is just inexcusably terrible. WTF is she doing?

  3. lucy2 says:

    The cover is a bad photo.
    If you want people to pay attention to your ambition, intellect and sense of humor…perhaps you should talk about more than just your looks.

  4. guesty says:

    lol.

  5. Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

    I never had a strong opinion of her before but, yikes. She huffed that glue pretty damned hard, huh? Hopefully the entire piece isn’t like this.

  6. irishserra says:

    …And I am incapable of seeing how “sexy” she is. Never could.

    The first time I ever saw her was in that Movie “Hitch.” I thought she was so ugly. Still do.

  7. Katie says:

    Wow, who approved that cover photo? Terrible. I agree…it’s pretty annoying to hear actresses who get work and big bucks for being hot complain about being hot. And Eva especially doesn’t seem to ever take roles to combat this image…although I guess it’s possible she’s not offered any other kinds of roles. Don’t even get me started on Gwyneth. This is why I like people like Rachel McAdams so much…you never hear her complain about tough her fabulous life is in interviews.

  8. Riley says:

    And I would bet from her addiction to nose candy that she is incredibly insecure. I don’t think people who are secure with themselves need to do drugs.

  9. Jeri says:

    She does sound ridiculous. “I am oh-so sexy!! Curtsey Curtsey Lip-Poof”

  10. Patrice says:

    I have never, ever understood the sex appeal of this girl. I mean, sure she has a nice athletic body, but so what? So do a lot of women. If she weren’t in movies I really don’t think she’s be getting all that much attention from men. She doesn’t come across as “sexy” to me at all. In fact her face is a little masculine…

  11. Reason says:

    Yes, she is dumb and boring. Hopefully she is investing her money well now.

  12. Patrice says:

    Riley: Huh? Where did you get that she’s a drug addict???

  13. kellsbells says:

    Much like Snookie, whenever I see a pic of Eva, I have the overwhelming desire to tell her to go wash her face! Can-Tan does not = zexy!

  14. Riley says:

    @Patrice My understanding is that her stints in rehab have been for a raging coke addiction. If I am wrong I am sorry. I am only going by what I have read from gossip sites/magazines.

  15. Team Bethenny says:

    “I’d love for my ambition and will and intellect and sense of humor to define me as well.”

    Well then keep your clothes on for a change, stop talking about being sexy and start giving people a reason to think you’re ambitious, intellectual and humorous.

  16. goldylocks says:

    Its even more annoying when these twits complain in interviews about being seen as sexy while its accompanied by a scantily clad photoshoot.

  17. smith says:

    She looks like a budget drag queen version of herself …

    Not easy to do folks, but there it is.

  18. Patrice says:

    Riley: No,no, I literally was just curious lol! I had no idea she was ever even in rehab. Doesn’t really surprise me though…

  19. Strawberry says:

    Maybe if she didn’t drop the word sexy so often, we’d stop associating it with her!

  20. andrea says:

    i think she’s pretty hot and comparing her to megan fox is pretty harsh – she doesnt have the trashy quality or AMAZING level of stupidity. id say she’s a jessica biel, not a megan fox.

  21. Amy says:

    I’ve never understood the attraction. Her nose looks like a penis. Sorry, but it’s true! I think she would have played a much more convincing Nixon than Anthony Hopkins.

  22. Gabriela says:

    amy winehouse is that you?

  23. CB Rawks says:

    She looks like a dude. Her teeth and nose are too big to be a woman’s. I guess it’s good she has high self esteem, because in reality, girl you look like a DUDE.

  24. Kim says:

    Dont worry Eva sexy WILL NOT be your legacy.c Coke head, transvestite looking, unattractive “actress” with zero talent will be what you are remembered for.

  25. Isa says:

    I actually think she is really pretty. But that cover photo is horrible. I think she looks great in tight, white clothes with her hair done up. When I see her like that I think, man I wish I looked like that!
    But there is something unattractive about a person that thinks their incredibly beautiful. I agree with the other posters that said if she wants to be known for other stuff then she should quit harping on about her beauty.
    My husband doesn’t think she’s that great looking either. For some reason, he hates her mole.

  26. malachais says:

    Wino with self-entitlement issues. Most of her movies suck anyway.

  27. EzE says:

    Eva is super sexy and I appreciate her just owning up to being attractive instead of the false modesty of someone like say Michelle Pfeiffer. For goodness sakes, she’s probably been down;loaded a gajillion times, she can say it out loud.

  28. Camille says:

    For starters she is far more attractive that Megan Fox! (Mind you that wouldn’t be hard lol).
    But yes, she is waffling on far too much about her appearance, it makes her sound very boring and incredibly shallow. The girl needs a hobby (in fact so do many other celebs who ONLY seem to talk about their outer appearance and how they work on said outer appearance).

  29. karen says:

    usually LOVE your perspective but this reeks of “hater”! i think denying one is what she is, or what she is perceived of, is naive at best and is mostly show for their own perseverance. She IS lovely, she IS sexy, she IS brave to be naked even though she is these things…to your point, though – notice I’m not willing to call her intellectual and humorous as she would like, because this is the same interview as always that doesn’t emit that perception.

  30. gg says:

    When she refers to her looks like she always does she’s actually overcompensating for the fact that she has to be carried in all her movies by the other actors and that she’s a drunk.

    Rehab didn’t work I guess.

    We should fix her up with Mel

    agree she may have a decent photoshopped body, but the face screams tranny whore that pencils in her “beauty mark”.

  31. Raven says:

    Tranny whore? Does that pass for clever where you live? Seems like a cheap shot to me but then you’ve probably had a lot more experience with tranny whores than some of us other folks have.

  32. Julia says:

    I understand any frustration when hot people get frustrated at anything, but I don’t hate her. The reason people who are hot don’t get acclaim for exposing themselves is because, well, duh–they’re hot. However, just because WE see someone as hot, doesn’t necessarily mean that the exposee doesn’t feel some of the same vulnerabilities that we do feel. After all, my fiancee swears that I’m hot–not just to him, but in a more objective sense–and I’d literally rather have surgery without anesthesia than expose my body like she has. She probably feels like while she’s comfortable with herself, she still overcame personal obstacles in her exposure and that’s worth noting–which, I suppose, it is.

    The difficulty is that she is perhaps not the most world-renowned actress, so her physical exposure and modeling is more noteworthy than her acting. That, perhaps, is what negates her from being titled “brave”. After all, nobody really gives a shit how scared a Playboy model feels…she’s a model. I’m still casting my “brave” vote for people like the acclaimed Ms. Bates, who are less likely to be jerked off to by 13 year olds (and know it).

  33. irishserra says:

    @Gabriela: Yes!! That’s it! I didn’t realize that until I just now read your comment. Her looks are reminiscent of Amy Winehouse!

  34. Jill says:

    Oh come on! You know the interviewer led her to make similar comments. And she IS attractive. I’d love to have half of the appeal she has.

  35. Dana M says:

    I had read that rehab was for researching a movie role…..but who knows for sure.

  36. Gia says:

    I think she’s pretty when she’s made up, but she has a pretty good mustache going on when she’s photographed without make up.

  37. Zelda says:

    I can not name one thing she has ever been in.

  38. Me says:

    EzE: My words exactly! Eva is absolutely gorgeous. If I was a man, I’d s**g her day and night again and again…

  39. pooky says:

    She is hot (though not in this photoshoot!) but “you’re so brave for doing full-frontal nudity”. WTF?!! Parachuting into Helmand Province is brave, rescuing a small child from a lion’s mouth is brave; nudity is merely what pays the bills if the talent ain’t working…

  40. Ogechi says:

    I love her a lot.

  41. Pat says:

    Right on. Except for the hot part. She’s not hot, kinda homely. Not sexy. Her fall back position is always to do photo shopped underwear shoots. How’s that workin’ out for ya? She’s pathetic and one of those women who does a disservice to all women. Yawn.

  42. delta6 says:

    I saw here on Jimmy Kimmel – She is really stupid. I wonder what kind of work she would be doing if she wasn’t an actress….hmmm. Prostitute maybe?

  43. bunny fluff and stuff says:

    she has great lips and eyebrows. nose? not a fan? eyes? small brown almonds. she is very conceited. she needs to stop tooting her own horn.