Jessica Simpson’s new relationship is like an old-fashioned PR hookup

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Earlier this week, CB covered some of the photos from Jessica Simpson’s extravagant birthday celebrations in Italy, with her family and her new boyfriend Eric Johnson. Jessica and company don’t seem to mind that they’re getting pap’d at every step of this trip – thus, we have new photos of Jessica and Eric in Rome yesterday, walking hand-in-hand and even mugging and kissing for the benefit of the cameras.

Now, this really does surprise me. Sure, whenever Jessica falls in love (or lust), she falls hard and the world has to know about it. She gives interviews, she gets a People Magazine cover where she talks about her “love” and immediately tabloids start talking about wedding plans and babies, etc. But I thought Jessica had changed? She is, after all, 30 years old now. Do we have to do this every time?

Plus – there’s still drama with his ex-wife – are they in the middle of their divorce? I don’t know. And everything has happened so fast for Jessica and Eric. By my estimation, they’ve barely been dating a month. Isn’t this new-boyfriend PR roll-out happening very fast? Is Eric the one? He seems dumb as a box of hair, and he seems like he’s just in it for the free boobs and Italian vacation.

Look at some of these shots and tell me this whole thing doesn’t reek of an old-fashioned, old-school, old-Hollywood PR situation. And Jessica’s black-and-white dress is… not good. It’s not a bad cut or anything, the print just makes me think of cows, and that’s not good.

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Jessica and Eric in Rome on July 14, 2010. Credit: Bauer-Griffin.

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23 Responses to “Jessica Simpson’s new relationship is like an old-fashioned PR hookup”

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  1. bite me says:

    moo, moo, moo…when will simpleton learn she needs to stop letting papa joe run her life. poor, poor little child.

  2. mel says:

    Her relationships will never be successfull as long as she keeps running her mouth about them… She needs to shut up and stop giving the popps what they want.

  3. NayNay says:

    Hasn’t she learned from her past relationships. It seems she jumps in too fast, and that is when her relationships fizzle. Everyone wants to be in love, but draggin it through the media is not the right way to go. Come on girl. Desperation is not attractive.

  4. Marjalane says:

    How does someone exist in the entertainment industry for years, and not eventually learn just a little something about STYLE?? I saw her in this dress and about spit out my coffee! It’s not like she’s obese or anything, why the muu-muu? Was Mrs. Roper her fashion icon?

  5. guesty says:

    imo…he’ll marry her. for the $$$$ and fame. AND because he can control her. this is the best offer he’s had in a very long time.

    and and…that dress is so chick-fil-a & he’s so nick lachey.

  6. Westcoaster says:

    “dumb as a box of hair”

    LOL, that is priceless!!

  7. Dorothy says:

    I agree with Mel and NayNay, Jessica does the relationship thing way too fast. I understand she wants a honey but its only been a month and in that time you only should know his ss#, health status (she know the marital status I guess…) and if he is a match. Or is he checking out if it is true about the napalm? MMMMMmm…

  8. Kate says:

    1. If he is as dumb as a box of hair, then he has a lot in common with her. She is quite possibly one of the dumbest humans on the planet.

    2. The cow dress makes her look like a cow.

    3. Of course this is all PR generated. Pop career — flop. Transition to country music — flop. High profile boyfriends — flop flop flop. VH1 show — flop. She is a cleaned up version of Pam Anderson, but frankly, not nearly as interesting.

  9. Isa says:

    It’s not a bad cut? Check out the back of it. It’s pieced together horribly, above her butt it looks like the fabric sticks out.

    I’ll be nicer and say the print made me think of a butterfly. A dead, smashed one.

  10. Embee says:

    On the plus side, I like her hair like that…

  11. St. Louis says:

    I’m with Westcoaster…”dumb as a box of hair” made my day!

  12. Strawberry says:

    Well, she definitely has a type, excepting douchebag Mayer of course. Dumb, athletic, big-muscled.

    Jess’ dress problem is that would look amazing on a Rachel Bilson-type or someone teeny. She should know better. As someone else with above-average chest you learn what looks good, and this does not!

  13. lucy2 says:

    Same pattern every time, jumps in too fast, blabs endlessly, and then ends up hurt. She needs to keep it private, but I really think her dad puts it out there for publicity – let’s face it, she’s a nice girl, but doesn’t have much going on career-wise.

    All of the stuff she’s worn on this trip has been horrible, and basically paparazzi bait. If you want to go unnoticed, t-shirt and shorts will do. But if you want your smoochy photos in every tabloid, dress like…a cow? Or whatever that orange monstrosity was she had on the other day.

  14. tiki says:

    my thought is that she’s pregnant, and this ‘romance’ is staged so that it will look like it’s his kid and not the result of some random one-night hook-up. there’s a payoff for him, make no doubt about it.

  15. Lori says:

    All I have been seeing of her and this guy is pics of them sucking face….. him picking her big ass up so she can wrap her legs around him in front of papa joe, god and everyone. What she is saying with all this desperate behavior is that see America, I can keep a man!!!

    We are happy for you dear, but could you put your gross pda to rest and just be normal in your photo opps please. i don’t want the poor guys to have to pick you up again.

  16. smith says:

    Okay, who decided that the cow dress would work? Did she lose a bet with someone??

    I hope tomorrow she wears horizontal strips.

  17. may says:

    JMJ, she is just a freakin’ little porker, isn’t she?

  18. Jeri says:

    O’well, here we go again. Think he’ll still be around for Labor Day? Halloween? Thanksgiving… ???

  19. t says:

    Joe couldn’t take the pictures himself like he normally does for fear he’d scare off the pr stunt…oops, I mean beloved boyfriend.

    She had to wear that dress so the Italian kids he hired to be the “paparazzi” would know who to photograph…the chubby lady dressed like a cow.

  20. bella says:

    she’s depressed because by 30years old she pictured her life being married and with children, instead she’s 30.. no marriage, no children, no success in the pop music world, and all she has is a fling with a married man!…ashlee simpson is married with child she’s living her dream, tony romo has moved on, carrie underwood got married on jessica’s birthday (ouch)and she is now on her honeymoon with her hubby, …so of course jessica couldn’t be alone on her bday, she needed a boytoy to show the world that she’s not a failed divorcee, failed singer actress, and a failed reality star, and that she doesnt care about the happiness of others cause shes happy..uh-huh sure…she has a man dam it…and for the meantime she will be giving him her sexual napalm…what a loser f–king a married man..”how classy of her”

  21. bloobloo says:

    That dress is just anti-Montenegro style, haters.

  22. Bored@Work says:

    What a lesson this has been for her? Man, I hope that Karma is now done with her and she can now start a functional relationship.

    This has been a trip. From having Nick Lachey wait until marriage to sleep with her, to leaving him because she though she would have been better of without him.

    Karma has certainly whipped her a$$. All those men she has dated since has treated her like crap, then left her. I think she’s had enough.

    So I am gonna hope that this guy treats her right and she can finally move on and start the family I am sure she wants. That is after he is divorced…Is that pushing it?

  23. Bored@Work says:

    That is if he finally gets a divorce…