Mother Crackhead has gone on the record, FINALLY. After days of just being an unnamed source in Radar and TMZ’s reporting, Mother Crackhead has deigned to give us a Christmas present… the gift that keeps on giving, cracked-out delusion. According to Dina Lohan, “the situation” between Lindsay and the Betty Ford employee who wanted Lindsay to take a Breathalyzer was “a little sketchy.” You’re telling me, Mother Crackhead! No, seriously, Dina wants us to know that although she thinks the Betty Ford Clinic is “fabulous,” she has no idea how someone with that kind of “background” even got around her little crackhead daughter.

Dina Lohan says the story that she told Lindsay Lohan to refuse a breathalyzer test is pure poppycock.

Dina is lashing out at Dawn Holland, the former Betty Ford chemical dependency tech who told TMZ Dina was jawboning with Lindsay over the phone, instructing her to just say no to a breathalyzer test.

Dina says, when she was speaking with Lindsay, she was merely trying to comfort her after what the employee did to her. Lindsay claims Holland berated and grabbed her.

Dina adds, “I stand behind my daughter 100% … the whole thing with the woman is a little sketchy.”

And finally, Dina has praise for Betty Ford: “With all the fabulous employees they have, it’s unfortunate that someone with this kind of background gets through. I stand behind Betty Ford. It is such a fabulous facility. They have been nothing but great. They really helped my daughter and changed my life, too.”

[From TMZ]

Ugh, Mother Crackhead. Here’s my theory: whenever Dina won’t let something go, whenever she starts in with multiple interviews “defending” her little crackhead daughter, that’s when you know the jig is up. Of course, the jig is always up with Lindsay’s crack hustle, which is why I’m completely Team Random Fired Betty Ford Clinic Employee. Also: I think Dina probably did tell Lindsay to not take the Breathalyzer. You know, because of the Shirley Temples.

By the way, in case you were thinking to yourself “Damn, I hope Lindsay goes to jail really soon”… not so fast. TMZ reports that unless Lindsay is found guilty of battery and assault, this whole situation won’t affect Lindsay’s probation. BUT – the key here could be Lindsay’s non-compliance with the alcohol test on the night in question:

Sources connected to the case tell us the Probation Department will not recommend to Judge Elden Fox that he violate her probation for the alleged assault when Lindsay appears on January 3. We’re told the Department will only recommend action if Lindsay is convicted of criminal battery.

But it gets more complicated on the subject of alcohol. Under the terms of Lindsay’s probation, she’s required to comply with drug testing, including tests administered at Betty Ford. By refusing to submit to a breathalyzer test a week ago Sunday morning, Lindsay arguably violated this term of her probation.

We’re told the Probation Department has not made a recommendation to the judge on violating her probation based on the breathalyzer test — at least not so far.

Ultimately, it’s up to Judge Fox. Worst case scenario for Lindsay … back in the pokey for 6 months.

[From TMZ]

I know I sound like a broken record, but seriously, what will it take for this bitch to go to jail? She would have to kill someone, right? And even if (and when) she kills someone, Mother Crackhead will still be squawking about how the murder victim deserved it, but someone else did the murdering.

By the way, since this is likely one of the last posts on Lindsay for the year, I thought I’d bring out my favorite photos of her:

Photos courtesy of WENN