Linnocent Open Post: Linnocent’s Cracked-Out Plea Deal (update)

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Well, you bitches have been clamoring for an open post about Linnocent cracked-out hearing today, so here you go. TMZ is still claiming that Linnocent could just end up with house arrest, and that it won’t be anything like the 120 days she was sentenced to initially. But, of course, TMZ’s sources seem to be Mother Crackhead and a bottle of gin, because Radar has another assessment on Linnocent’s sentence:

Is Lindsay Lohan receiving special treatment from the justice system? Nope, not according to the Los Angeles City Attorney. Carmen Trutanich, the L.A. City Attorney head honcho, told RadarOnline.com exclusively that the Mean Girls star, 24, is being treated like any other criminal in the system.

“Ms. Lohan isn’t being cut any special deals,” he said. “When our office got the case last week, it went through the ordinary channels, and the case was assigned to a regular deputy from our office. Everyone gets the same justice in our office, period.”

Judge Stephanie Sautner is expected to decide that Lindsay can serve her 120-day jail sentence at home wearing an ankle monitor.

Trutanich explained that his responsibility has been covered. “Our office has done our job. We will cooperate with the Sheriff’s Department in whatever needs to occur regarding Ms. Lohan.”

Lohan is eligible to wear the ankle monitor because she is considered a low risk offender, and the Los Angeles County jails are notoriously overcrowded.

It’s expected that Lindsay will only have to serve about 14-16 days because women sentenced to similar sentences serve about 25% of the actual time.

The City Attorney has praise for Judge Stephanie Sautner’s decision to reduce the felony grand theft charge to a misdemeanor, “I think Judge Sautner knew what she was doing. Judge Sautner evaluated the evidence and made a thoughtful and informed decision.”

Lohan isn’t expected to be in court Wednesday when her powerhouse attorney, Shawn Holley, formally enters the no-contest plea at the LAX Airport Courthouse at around 10:00 am, PST.

[From Radar]

I still want to know if the house arrest/ankle monitor scenario will include a true SCRAM anklet so that Linnocent’s vodka and crack intake can be monitored. We’ll see. Meanwhile, I fully expect the cracked-out celebrations to continue! She was even at the Marmont last night (doing crack). I’ll be updating as soon as more information comes in.

UPDATE: Linnocent’s lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, entered a plea on behalf of her client. The plea was “no contest” to misdemeanor theft, and the judge did not increase the current sentence – Linnocent has to do the 480 hours of community service, and she has until June 17th (I think?) to turn herself into the Sheriff’s Department for her “jail sentence”. The judge is allowing Linnocent to serve those “120 days” under house arrest, with an electronic monitoring anklet, and TMZ claims that the 120 day sentence could end up being 2 weeks under house arrest. For that time, Linnocent can’t leave her home, not to party and not to do her community service. In addition to all of that, Linnocent won’t have to do any more substance abuse counseling, but the judge is making Linnocent do a “complete psychological counseling and a shoplifters alternative class.”

PS… I wonder where Linnocent was this morning? Hungover after partying at the Marmont?

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Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News.

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144 Responses to “Linnocent Open Post: Linnocent’s Cracked-Out Plea Deal (update)”

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  1. brin says:

    Yay!!!! I’ll start setting up the tailgate party til everyone arrives.

  2. LunaT says:

    OMG. So tired of her and her crap. Best idea if she’s not going to be serving her sentence in jail? Serving the full 120 under house arrest w/the FULL amount of drug/alcohol monitoring possible. Not like she’s going to change her behavior, but this girl needs to have consequences for her stupid and selfish behavior.

  3. Innocent says:

    This is a pre arranged plea deal where everything will be formalised.
    I know a lot of people don’t like Lindsay but aren’t Los Angelenos glad she isn’t appearing and saving the taxpayers money due to the security needed?

  4. anon33 says:

    My fiance was in a fender bender yesterday; he stopped at a stop sign and was rear ended. The guy who rear ended him immediately got out of the car and started yelling that my fiance had stopped too early (at a stop sign? when there were cars coming the other way?), and, incredibly, that he actually hadn’t hit him. Off topic, I know, but it reminded me of Linnocent.

    And the Marmont is NOTORIOUS for its facilitation of celebrity drug use, going all the way back to the late 60s. Its reputation hasn’t changed. Simply being there is enough to establish a presumption that she was at the very least drinking, if not also doing some blow…

  5. Hanh says:

    What is she wearing at court? It looks like a wetsuit.

  6. Madisyn says:

    High @ brin (pun intended)

    I’m here, I’ll help you set up. Along with my double stuffed deviled eggs with instead of paprika, decided to sprinkle a little crack for garnish. Got the Rum and Coke (NOT soda/cola) ready. I decided to bring another accoutrement to the party. For INSPIRATION I pulled out a mirror, poured some baking soda on it, got a razor and rolled up a dollar bill. And WAH LAH! SEVEN LAYER BEANHAN DIP. Recipe below.

    1. Weed (bottom layer)
    2. Percocet
    3. Dilaudid
    4. Adderall
    5. Oxy
    6. Vicodin
    7. Crack (of course)

    Bon Crackatit!

  7. Madisyn says:

    Kaiser, is there a reason why my previous comment isn’t being posted?

    Delete this post, thanks Kaiser/CB. I worked hard on that recipe.

  8. Roma says:

    I did cocaine a bit back in the day and I can honestly say that there are a couple of bars I’ll avoid because the temptation is too strong. Was not an addict – social user – yet I know that if I go there, I’m going to want to do it again.

    She went to the f-ing Marmont! Their glass side tables are destroyed by people cutting their lines on it. Give me a break. This is exactly why people refuse to take her seriously.

  9. NoFrank says:

    What is she wearing at court? It looks like a wetsuit.

    @ Hanh: I was just going to say the same thing. Did she buy that PVC top at a fetish store?

  10. Kaiser says:

    Madisyn – Yeah, it went to the spam folder. I fished it out.

  11. Samigirl says:

    In that first picture, she looks almost like a grandmother. Her skin is so loose…she looks…awful. I guess that’s what happens when you live a rough life.

  12. Melinda says:

    Hi ladies! I’m here with the smoked crackeroni and cheese. (I added some smoked gouda to balance out all the crack) Dig in!

    @ Madisyn- Your bean dip sounds amazing!

  13. brin says:

    Lol, Madisyn…very impressive! Can’t wait to try the dip. Please try some shrimp cracktail.

  14. Madisyn says:

    Thanks Kaiser!

    @ Melinda, Uuuummmmm Gouda!

    @ brin, I’d love some shrimp cracktail. Very good!

    As for the BeanHAN dip, enjoy ladies!

  15. the original bellaluna says:

    Let the Crack Tailgating Games BEGIN!!! (said in wrestling announcer voice)

    I’m here. Sorry I’m late. Those tequila watermelon balls are so hard to resist! ;) And I had to constantly stir the crack-butter for the popcorn or it burns. (Didn’t know that, did ya?)

    @ brin – Excellent choice of spots, nice set up, girl!

    @ Madisyn – Words fail me…but I can’t wait to try it!

    @ Melinda – I’d love some crackeroni and cheese. Smoked gouda is one of my faves!

  16. Melinda says:

    Don’t be shy, there’s plenty of smoked crack n cheese to go around!

  17. mia girl says:

    @Innocent
    Ahh, your ability to always find a bright side to Lindsey’s shenanigans is almost endearing…

    That previous message was brought to you from a parallel universe…

    In THIS world your constant need to spin Blohan’s shit is downright pathetic.

  18. dorothy says:

    Can you imagine what it must be like to possibly the hated woman in hollywood?

    Is it me or you just sick of this sh_t already?

  19. lucy2 says:

    I’ll bring some COKE-a cola! And some CRACKers.
    If she gets to do the stay at home prisoner thing, I think they should have her do the full sentence – cutting a sentence short is just for overcrowding, right?

  20. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Innocent – Angelinos would have been happy about her “saving them money” if this wasn’t her fourth or fifth trip on the Crack Trial Go-Round.

    How about some concern for the Angelinos (and every single other person in CA & NY) when she drives drunk off her ass and stoned out of her gourd?!

    end/rant – sorry, fellow partiers.

  21. the_blonde_one says:

    I’m going to say this rather nicely as I actually mean it: that top picture with the wattles/loose mouth side skin etc? I’ve ONLY seen that on someone her age on…prostitutes that do hardcore drugs. seriously. Go look at mugshots etc. that’s…really really concerning (not that *I’m* concerned, just that she should be)

  22. brin says:

    You guys have out-done yourselves everything is wonderful…let’s have a toast (with red bull & vodka, of course)…Cheers!

  23. Praise St. Angie! says:

    “If she gets to do the stay at home prisoner thing, I think they should have her do the full sentence – cutting a sentence short is just for overcrowding, right?”

    yeah, I don’t get that either. It should be either “serve the time in jail and likely get out early because of overcrowding”…

    …OR “serve the time in home-detention and do ALL of the time you’re sentenced to (because there IS NO OVERCROWDING)”.

    either way, I doubt this girl will confine herself to her home for even ONE week. she loves the spotlight and the paparazzi too much to actually stay home. (as has been evidenced by her nightly jaunts.)

    so, she’ll sneak out (like she did at Betty Ford), the ankle bracelet will show her movements and she’ll be busted. of course, she’ll say that someone stole the bracelet to try to frame her.

  24. Rita says:

    @brin, bellaluna, Madisyn

    I’m affraid we’re going to be disappointed today when Linnocent goes home to her gilded cage, but I’m sure there will plenty of other opportunities for Linngate parties.

  25. the original bellaluna says:

    Anyone seen Eileen? She’s got the percocet-crusted Crackmopolitans…

    Guess I’ll have another Shot of Delusion! *clinks glasses with brin*

  26. Madisyn says:

    Is the City Attorney also on crack? Trutanich said Blohan isn’t being cut any SPECIAL DEALS. REALLY? So if I violated probabtion for the THIRD EFFING TIME and was being formally sentenced, I too could sit on my couch with a smug smirk, drinking redbull & vodka and be firing up the crack pipe? No, I would be in court, in front of a judge waiting to hear my fate. And most likely being led away in cuffs to be properly booked, mugshotted, and fingerprinted. Like everyone else, my azz!

    @ Innocent before you even bother most of us here with “But She’s Saving The Calif. Taxpayers, Blah, Blah, Blah”, SAVE IT!

    Edit: Just went back and read some comments that weren’t posted when I was typing, so here goes. . .

    @ original bellaluna, “End/rant” to Dina, I mean @ innocent. GO GET HER BELLALUNA! Side note, as Mother and Baby Crack are kickin back at home, they have nothing better to do that post at OUR PARTY. B I T C H E S!

    @ brin, toasting with my cracktail *clinking glasses*

    @ Praise, WORD!

    P.S. For those interested at 10 am PST, TMZ will be in the courtroom with the plea.

  27. Rita says:

    @madisyn

    LOL, saving taxpayers money!!! This little twat has cost taxpayers hundreds of thousands of dollars…and will cost even more when the felony hammer eventually falls.

  28. flourpot says:

    >”Everyone gets the same justice in our office, period.”

    cough cough bullshit cough

  29. bluhare says:

    @Innocent. You’ve really lost it this time. If she were that concerned bout saving the taxpayers money how about she try obeying the law to start with?

    And I came in the back way . . . whoever put the cupcakes back there is BAD. I snuck one and that’s not shaved coconut on the top!!

    Where’s the vacuum cleaner? I want to clean up all those crumbs, and who needs a drink refill? Can I get you one? Two? Wheeee!!!!!

  30. original kate says:

    huh? oh, ggghhhh *clears throat* hmmph, sniff, sniff. so, like am i late for court? ok, but i had a good reason! i had to blow some dude for some rock (obviously), and then i had to fish a fetish dress out of the diry clothes hamper and get dressed, so…oh, wait – was i, like, supposed to bring something for the party? i have a good reason! because i had a sad childstar childhood and um…like, everyone’s against me and even the judge, also. where’s my vodka -er, i mean my redbull?!

  31. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Rita – Mornin. Too true. And let’s not forget all the law enforcement folks who’ve had to deal with her cracknanigans.

    She’s a single-handed-sticky-fingered-cracktastrophic-budget crisis.

  32. Madisyn says:

    @ Rita, there you are. *Waves*

    Your right, this is just the tip of the ice crack berg. Will NOT stay home. Will DEFINETLY NOT finish community service. Will NOT stay clean. But, but WILL DEFINETLY F*CK UP AGAIN! Yeah, more crackgate parties.

    @ bluhare, your right, thats not shaved coconut. Yooouuu know what it is. Ha Ha

  33. Melinda says:

    Mmmmmmm, cupcakes with crack sprinkles.

  34. the original bellaluna says:

    @ bluhare – I’ll have another whatever-it-is, thanks!

    @ Melinda – Where’d you get that crack-cake?

  35. lilred says:

    Hello ladies,I brought a big tray of my special brownies,could someone please pass me red bull I’m parched.

  36. Melinda says:

    @ original bellaluna- bluhare called my attention to them in the back, not sure who brought them. I need to start pacing myself though, those crack sprinkles are pretty potent!

  37. Madisyn says:

    TMZ at 10am PST for the plea ladies!

    I need another drink!

    Ladies, try the special Lohan 7 Layer Dip!

  38. the original bellaluna says:

    @ lilred – Here’s the vodka (I HATE redbull), and have a Shot of Delusion too.

    @ bluhare – May I have a crack-cake with my drink? Please!

    @ Madisyn – I’d love some of that dip…please pass it over!

  39. brin says:

    ITA, Rita. I brought plenty of Red Bull & vodka cause I know Linnocent is going to skate once again.
    Everybody drink up!

  40. Rita says:

    OMG, you all have to try @lilred’s brownies. They’re incredible but strangely enough, they gave me the munchies….I’m feelin’ fine.

  41. Melinda says:

    @ Madisyn- It’s delicious! You really out did yourself. It has the perfect balance of herbal flavor and chalkiness and provides the dellusion we so richly deserve.

  42. Meghan says:

    A) If she were “serving” 25% of the time that was sentenced, which was 120 days, she would still have 30 days. Not 14-16. That’s like 12%. You don’t get to serve 25% of the already shortened time!

    2) Why do we even kid ourselves that she will stay inside the house?? She has to WORK, people. There are movies out there that are being made and they WILL have Lindsay Lohan in them!!! She has to go to the clubs for WORK, to meet people to coerce them into putting her into their movies. She will have to fly to Cannes for WORK, to see all the movies that they should have put her in, but those stupid director people just don’t know what they’re doing. It’s all about the WORK.

  43. Eileen says:

    Holy CRAP! How could I have missed this?? Here I am-thanks Brin! Setting up my shaken-not stirred- Crackpolitians as we speak! Perco-rimmed since I know you bitches would have it no other way! :D

  44. Roma says:

    So after her “sentence” is over she’s going to go on unsupervised probation. Meaning, she can go off the rails.

    That being said, in California house arrest does mean drug and alcohol testing. I wonder how long she’ll last.

  45. the original bellaluna says:

    Oh, Eileen, you’re here! I was so worried…and thirsty! ;)

  46. Rita says:

    For the theft, it looks like she got 3 years unsupervised probation. I guess that means if she violates the theft probation she will have to stay at home again. If one is going to commit felony theft, Cali is the place to do it.

    High Eileen, glad you made the party. I’m laid back on lilred brownies and jacked up on brin’s redbull so things are getting weird…maybe a vodka jelly shot will help.

  47. Eileen says:

    You girls need to get in twitter so you can send me a message when I’m MIA!

  48. Madisyn says:

    I can’t get over the Judges last statement in regards to the paps following her to the womens shelter:

    “THERE HAS TO BE SOMEONE MORE IMPORTANT TO FOLLOW AROUND THAN MS. LOHAN” BWAH BURN!

    That was effing BRILLIANT!

    Of course, if this twit WOULDN’T CALL THEM, they wouldn’t know when she was there.

    @ Eileen, where have you been? No worries, lots of cracks snacks, eveyone made more than enough.
    Try the 7 Layer Dip, for the DIPSHIT!

  49. 3Kids says:

    She just got off. Nothing extra in terms of time, 14 or so days at home. I am a terrible person I guess, but I actually want her to screw up so that she actually gets punished. Please console me people – tell me she will screw up, etc. or I am going to hit something!!

  50. brin says:

    Rita’s right, we can count on Lilo to screw up, thereby ensuring continuous Crack Tailgates….Three Crack Cheers for Lindsay!!!
    * Glad you made it here, Eileen!*

  51. Eileen says:

    Hip Hip HOrayyyy! lol
    I love Crack Tail Gating!!
    ….though the week long hangover and drug withdrawals are a pain in the ass!
    BTW don’t forget to grab your Adrenalin hypodermic needle gift bag in case you OD on all these drug & alcohol mixes!

  52. Eileen says:

    @Madisyn MAN that dip looks like something Lindsay would eat in her crackdreams!! Can we tailgate or WHAT?!?!

  53. margaret says:

    soooooooooooooo disappointed. Too bad some newshound doesn’t do a little research and find someone other than our ‘favorite’ crack princess who has similar legal issues, and do a little comparative essay on how the court system treats each of them. I would be interested to see if they are indeed treated equally.

  54. the original bellaluna says:

    You know she was too hungover after her night at the Marmont to even attempt to show up in court…

  55. the original bellaluna says:

    And you know she can’t go 14 days without going out. CAN.NOT.HAPPEN. *rubs hands together & laughs evilly*

    This could be some really fun cracknanigan viewing!

  56. lucy2 says:

    Bummed she’s not going to sit in a jail cell. Do we actually have confirmation she only has to do 2 weeks at home? All I see is 120 hours.
    Glad they forced psychological counseling, but I think the “shoplifters alternative” class sounds like a joke – what’s the alternative? Pay for things instead of stealing them. Class dismissed.
    TMZ is also reporting that she has to stay 100 feet away from the jewelry store. LOL.

    Should we start placing bets on how long it will be before she violates the house arrest?

  57. sapphire says:

    Sorry I am late-my dealer was out again. Chips and angel dust dip> May I Have a cosmo, please? Thanks you. (gulp).

    Save the County money? Hah! Do you know how much that extra security costs each time she shows up?
    @Rita,, brin, it’s a given she’s a repeat offender. One positive thing is prior convictions do affect whatever charges are brought in the future. And I wonder how close she is skating to passport problems.

  58. harfang says:

    @Madisyn mad respect <3

    I just had a memory, reading this post. It was of a troubled starlet wearing a monitor anklet in public, as if she were unashamed but certainly rethinking her decisions. Sort of a wryness about her. I had hope for her, she seemed to have learned her lesson…

    Oh wait. Forget it. That was Lindsay 3 years ago.

  59. the original bellaluna says:

    @ lucy2 – “The” jewelry store or “Any” jewelry store? Should be “any.” ;)

    It sounds like she got 120 days at home, but I’m not sure on that; as well as the 120 hours of community service in the morgue & the 360 hours of community service @ the women’s shelter.

    What bothers me is that I read when (they meant IF) Blohan completes her community service, her probation will be terminated. Is that right?

  60. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Hey all, so so sorry I missed the main party, I couldn’t log on until now, am soooo p’d off! Grhhh!!!

    Anyhows, does anyone want a glittery cocktail umbrella still??? I’ve been downing many shots of crack delusion in frustration at missing the party :( so am little crack*d out already!!

  61. albeli says:

    Who wants to start the countdown to her next screwup?

    5…4…3…

  62. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Ruby Red – There’s plenty to go around. Help yourself!

  63. nina says:

    Can someone explain to me how one can get early-release from house arrest due to overcrowding? I understand GIVING someone house arrest due to overcrowding since letting someone serve in their home frees up space in the jails and prisons to house more dangerous, violent criminals. But how does releasing someone from house arrest early help solve overcrowding? It’s not like they are going to move some rapists and murderers into her guest room once she’s been released early.

    So. Much. Lame.

  64. Splat says:

    So Strawberry Snortcake manages to blow -er- bribe -er- negotiate her way out of jail, Why am I not suprised.

    But there is no way in hell that Snortcake will make it thru 3 years of probation, so expect her to be in front of a Judge again after her next ckack drama hits the fan!

  65. Incredulous says:

    A shoplifters alternative class? Is that when someone explains that you pay for things?

  66. seVen says:

    Hello Ladies! sorry I’m late. *digs in to the dip*

    *places a large bowl of vodka koolaid on the table*

  67. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Will do Bellaluna! :D

    Hey so Linnocent will still have 3 years probation for her theft…which means loads more parties for at least 3 years for us!

    Am so evil, as vile as I think Linnocent currently is, she is providing great entertainment! (I know that is really disturbed and the problem with society blah blah, but hey a crack party is a crack party!)

  68. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Kaiser, pls no moderation….took so long to get onto the site…:( promise I will behave! ;)

  69. bagladey says:

    Lilo’s a thief and her hair and face both look busted.

  70. Innocent says:

    @nina
    Budget cuts

  71. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Nina, that’s a bl00dy good question…

  72. the original bellaluna says:

    Lock up your children & put your vehicles in your garage: you know Blohan’s gonna be partying her ass off tonight!

    @ seVen – Oooh, fruitpunch! My favourite!

  73. Innocent says:

    @Splat

    3 years probation will be difficult but once she does the community service and the shoplifting thing that will be her.
    The only way she could violate is by picking up a new case.

  74. sapphire says:

    @incredulous-no, it’s telling you how to avoid felony level merchandise.

  75. Melinda says:

    @ seVen- Thanks for bringing the parking lot punch. All those chips and dip and smoked crack ‘n cheese made me super thirsty.

  76. Splat says:

    @Splat

    3 years probation will be difficult but once she does the community service and the shoplifting thing that will be her.
    The only way she could violate is by picking up a new case.

    @ Innocent

    And your under ythe impression that Lindsay won’t violate by picking up a new case?

    She has a better chance of planning the next Shuttle Mission or Phase 21 of the Mall Of America then she does of not picking up a new case!

    Sorry but Snortcake will not make thru 3 years of probation, history has proved that.

  77. icantbelievethis says:

    @Innocent I can’t imagine LL getting in trouble while on probation. She’d never do anything illegal while on probation. NEVER. (never have her SCRAM go off, never stay in Cannes to party, never sneak out of rehab, never fail a drug test, never steal a necklace).

    And I’m sure she’ll get the community service done in record time b/c since her last hearing she’s already done it for 2.5 days.

  78. flourpot says:

    Ok ladies and gentleman, place your bets for her sneaking out of her home during that 2 week lockup.

  79. bluhare says:

    Hey, you all ate all the cupcakes!! Where’s the vacuum . . . you all are so messy . . . oooh . . . who brought the Baked Alaska? Oh lord, that ain’t meringue!!

    HAHAHAHAwhosegotthelattedetail?CanIhave one? . . . . whose dirty truck is this? Get me some Armorall . . . it’ll be back to perfect in a jiffy . . . is that a snocone?

    And 3 years probation? We’ll be tailgaiting for the next three years ladies!

  80. brin says:

    @sapphire, @seVen…never too late for Crack Tailgate, have some crack snacks!
    Hope I’m not slurring…

  81. Madisyn says:

    @ harfang, Thanks.

    @ ruby red, if your evil, that so am I. After all, she brings it entirely on herself.

    @ bellaluna, to answer your question: the way I took it, she will be on FORMAL probation till Nov. 13, 2011 OR until she FINISHES (stop laughing) the jail/home arrest AND her CS (community service).

    So if she FINISHES (I said, stop laughing) her jail time and CS before Nov 13, then after that date her probation will go from FORMAL, to SUMMARY and that will be for 3 years. (Don’t know if its 3 years after that date or 2 1/2 because she’s already done 6 months of formal)

    Now if she doesn’t finish the CS and jail, the FORMAL probation will continue until she does so. (That’s what I’m betting the ranch on)

    @ Innocent, yeah “picking up another case” With this twit, that can mean anything. Leaving her house while on house arrest, not completing her CS, failing a drug test, failing an alcohol test, robbing another jewelry store or shop lifting anything from anywhere. Yeah, she’ll pickup another case.

    @ splat, “Planning the next shuttle mission or Phase 21 at the Mall of America” LMAO So True, So True.

    If I’m wrong, someone please correct me.

  82. sapphire says:

    @brin, s’ok, we have a limo service on call-we’re billing Mother Delusional

  83. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Just looked at that top photo properly, that’s the real Linncent, not the (dare I say) hot Lindsay mag shoot – she looks like a 50/60 year old…no joke!

    I dread to think ofte state of her internal organs with outward damage like that…is she going to last the 3 years??!

  84. Eileen says:

    @flourpot put me down for 4 days!

  85. Anguishedcorn says:

    ”Everyone gets the same justice in our office, period.”

    Can’t believe this was said with a straight face.

  86. Splat says:

    I wonder if Dina wen’t down to Carvel to get a Cake to celebrate lil miss Snotrcake’s miraculous win from perverted Justice and once again show that Snortcake is a champion for Human Rights causes!!

    Becuase you know, Snortcake follows what happens at the U.N. to great detail.

  87. 3Kids says:

    Does this seriously mean she has been on probation since 2007? Somebody correct me if I’m wrong, but that would mean she will have been on probation for 7 years – that’s gotta put her up for some sort of award/recognition/plaque – and just think of the red carpet possibilities, the speeches, Dina’s tears, Michael’s rants, Ali’s (whatever the f*ck it is she does).
    edit- when this ends in 3 years meaning 2014

  88. lilred says:

    Ladies this party kicks ass.Er could someone tell me how I ended up on the floor. Thank goodness we have the limo I’m having difficulty seeing let alone being able to drive.

  89. dorothy says:

    Innocent: Let’s go down her resume of ruin shall we? What, 3-4 times in rehab, a DUI, theft, psychological counseling, AA, drug and alcohol abuse and last, but not least what appears to be prostitution.
    How proud you must be. Even the judge alluded to “deeply rooted problems”. Perhaps it was the pimping out at such a young age so mom didn’t have to work and no parental supervision?

  90. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Btw, anyone know where Ali is?? @Innocent, sure u know her whereabouts…

  91. Hakura says:

    I’m late to the party, but I brought the pinata! (Looks like a little donkey, but with Lindsay’s face taped to it.) I filled it with the various goodies one would expect Lindsay to be full of on a weekend binge. Assorted narcotics, packets of crack, & cute little shot-sized bottles of hard liquor.

    I’ve got the blindfold…I believe you brought the bat, (TO)Bellaluna? =)

  92. Eileen says:

    My real crack tailgating will begin in about 2 hours when I pop open this Chard! Had the stomach bug all weekend & my wine is calling my name!

  93. Liana says:

    I missed most of the festivities again. Damn location work. Really, if Crackity McCrackhead gets to spend her sentence hanging around the house, watching Sam Ronson through her windows, and maintaining how much she’s saving the taxpayers, she should have to do a hell of a lot more than 2 weeks. HER personal luxury jail isn’t overcrowded… except, of course, for the voices in her head.

  94. Hakura says:

    @Splat“Sorry but Snortcake will not make thru 3 years of probation, history has proved that.”

    When one has a record of going over the WALL while at ‘rehab’ (& subsequently assaulting the empoyee just doing her job)… It does not say good things about her capability to avoid reoffending.

    I still don’t think she believes she has a problem. The only ‘problem’ she acknowledges is that the justice system is inconveniencing her.

    @Ruby Red Lips“Just looked at that top photo properly, that’s the real Linncent, not the (dare I say) hot Lindsay mag shoot – she looks like a 50/60 year old…no joke! I dread to think ofte state of her internal organs with outward damage like that…is she going to last the 3 years??!

    I was horrified seeing that picture too…. A woman her age should NOT have drooping jowls. I foresee a (totally necessary) full-scale facelift in her near future.

  95. Laurie says:

    Hopefully *next* time she will get a harsher sentence. Time and time again she gets a slap on the wrist even after probation violations. I would bet money that something else will happen with her soon, and I pray no one gets hurt. She has had way too many chances.

  96. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Oooooh ooooh, TMZ has details of Linnocents probation report….

    Basically she’s a druggie, alchie and klepto….

    What a shock!!

  97. Lady D says:

    lilred, you’re not on the floor, you are on top of me but thats ok, I can’t feel a thing. I also came in the back but never made it out of the kitchen.(Still waiting for the POTato salad).

  98. Lady D says:

    lilred, you’re not on the floor, you are on top of me but thats ok, I can’t feel a thing. I also came in the back but never made it out of the kitchen. *Damn, lost the potato salad.

  99. Ruby Red Lips says:

    And WTF, the judge doesn’t think Linnocent has a substance abuse problem?!?!

  100. Madisyn says:

    @ ruby red, I may be the only one, but I agree with the Judge. Yes, she abuses drugs and alcohol but for the most part, she stops when she absolutely has to. I personally believe she parties, like the Judge says “to self medicate” due to other problems. ie: mental health issues.

    Like the Judge said, “no need for rehab, we’ve been down that road numerous times”. It wouldn’t work anyway because SHE DOESN’T WANT TO STOP! I believe she CAN, she just WON’T!

    I mean what jackass on probation would CALL the paps herself to document going to the bars when she’s not suppose to but someone mentally f*ucked up. A professional addict, like your inferring would be secretive, cunning, and sneaky. Not advertise it.

    I know I’m probably alone here, but thats just my opinion.

  101. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Madisyn – Thanks. I laughed so hard, I must have passed out. I just got off the floor. And I’m thirsty. Does anyone have a drink for me?

    @ Ruby Red – Maybe the judge decided that her problems stem from psychosis instead of just substances. Anyway, I don’t really think a 6th or 7th trip to rehab will be her “aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh” (raise your voice an octave and sing it out) moment. ;)

    @ Madisyn (again) – Just read your comment – Great minds and all that. (Or is it drunk cracked-out minds…?) ;)

  102. Madisyn says:

    Ladies, that was one hell of a party. I’m not done yet but I am going to take a crack nap. See you all soon.

  103. ldizzle says:

    she is just an awful, AWFUL human being. I found this old article it’s really a good look into what it would be like to be around her for a few minutes “the black kid did it!” she is just scum. http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2007/07/lindsay-lohan-drives-drunk-recklessly-the-blow-by-blow-account/

  104. dorothy says:

    Madisyn…. I agree with you.

  105. gg says:

    Idiocy. She’ll never learn this way.

  106. anti says:

    whoa, a droopy neck at her age?

    also that photo of her smiling(?), possibly crying is horrendously sad.

  107. sapphire says:

    @Madisyn, ITA. Borderline all the way.

  108. ERika says:

    lindsay. i pray for goodness for you and your family. i pray you can all straighten out at some point. the justice system is not making it any easier for lilo and her family to learn.
    its terrible

  109. Hakura says:

    @Madisyn“I mean what jackass on probation would CALL the paps herself to document going to the bars when she’s not suppose to but someone mentally f*ucked up.”

    I’m inclined to agree. (Thus my application of symbolism attaching her face to the body of an ass, for my pinata.)

    I do think she needs the therapy before she’s going to make any progress, if she is ‘self medicating’ with the alcohol & drug use. Therapy may open her eyes to seeing what mess she’s made of herself.

    I honestly don’t wish anything *bad* on Lindsay. I do think she needs to be punished for her actions (but that goes for anyone who breaks the law, celebrity or not), & it’s annoying as hell that she’s managed to skate through the legal system without *real* punishment.

    But I also think actually being held accountable would really *help* her deal with what a fucked up trainwreck she is. The system is doing her a disservice by not enforcing a proper sentence.

  110. lilred says:

    Oops sorry Lady D,Please forgive…Can I still have some POTato salad?

  111. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Hakura – All right, here’s the bat! Let’s crack this puppy open and party on! (Love the symbolism, BTW – excellent choice.)

    I also agree that being held accountable would do nothing but improve her. It certainly wouldn’t make her any worse – other than the whining, I mean.

  112. Ruby Red Lips says:

    @Madison, Bellaluna, you may be right, but I just think that even if she is self-medicating because of other issues she still abuses substances and has wrecked her body and more importantly her mind…which makes me ask which comes first, the drugs or the psychosis? Not sure she could quit the crack and vodka even if she resolved her issues (highly unlikely as she doesn’t have the brain cells left to tackle her issues) pretty sad either way really

    Hmmm…more crack’n'cheese needed me thinks

  113. lucy2 says:

    The probation report says she was drinking the night of the Betty Ford incident, and failed another test a month later. AND that she was suspected of shoplifting from other jewelry stores! All while on probation.

    What do you think will happen next? Armed robbery, but she’ll blame it on “that time of the month”?

  114. Madisyn says:

    Thanks @ bellaluna, @ Dorothy, and @ Hakura

    @ lucy2, my article below, I was typing while you were posting, sorry for the duplicate, although I added my thoughts as well.

    Have you folks read the TMZ probation report? You’d better sit down, its a lulu.

    “Substance abuse is the root of the defendants problems”

    I disagree, see my above article.

    “The probation report lists the drugs Blohan has been taking. “Trazadone” (depression), “Nexium”(heartburn), “Zyrtec”(allergies), “Zoloft”(depression), “Zythromax” (antibiotic),”Doxycycline” (antibiotic), and “Yaz” (birth control)”

    Now the last three are what intrigue me the most. I looked up the 2 antibiotics and they treat any number of symptoms INCLUDING VD. The most telling of course, is the Yaz. What “lesbian” needs birth control? None I personally know. Now a hooker/prostitute who spreads them for men willing to provide, say a “pretend” movie role, or an eight ball, or for the budget tramp, a fifth of vodka, now that individual would need birth control.

    “The probation reports mentions Blohan failed an alcohol test on Feb. 8, 2011-one month after leaving BF”.

    Verrry, verrry innnteresting. Why was she not immediately thrown into jail after that. If nothing else a hearing scheduled?

    “As for the alleged attack at BF, the reports states the cops have interviews with restaurant empoloyees, hotel employees, and nightclub employees that say Blohan WAS DRINKING THAT NIGHT”.

    Whaaaatttt? And still nothing was done? This is outrageous and disgusting. Again see comment above about mental illness. Anyone as recognizable as this twit who would go into NUMEROUS places and openly drink alcohol, WHILE IN REHAB AND EVERYONE ON EARTH KNOWS IT, is not right in the head. Now, if she had hopped the wall, had a friend/Mother Crackhead waiting in a car, downed a fifth, then hopped back over the wall, that to me would be a true addict.

    “And the probation report states Blohan is a serial shoplifter. Defendent has been suspected of similar conduct in other jewelry stores. . As a result (the detective in the necklace case) recommends that the defendent be ordered to serve at least serve six months in county jail”

    That is interesting, OTHER JEWELRY STORES, now the documentation of her theft has been reported ad naseum and nothing and no one has EVER mentioned another jewelry store.

    So your telling me this supposedly hard azz Judge who is “tough” but “fair” read this report and sentenced her the way she did. I’m at a loss for words.

  115. OXA says:

    here is the link to the probation report if anyone is interested.
    http://tmz.vo.llnwd.net/o28/newsdesk/tmz_documents/0511_lohan.pdf

  116. Innocent says:

    @Madisyn
    Lindsay tested positive for alcohol after she found out she was beig charged with felony grand theft and her probation was revoked anyway because of that.

    The Betty Ford incident was sketchy due to Dawn Holland’s behavior and there wasn’t any actual evidence that she was drinking. She didn’t fail a test.

    As for the bitter Detective’s claims about other stores then up until today there was zero theft convictions.

  117. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Madisyn, great post, but I think the reason Linnocent goes into these places and drinks is because she knows she can and get away with it, which is exactly what has happened. There are no consequences for her entitled behaviour, as we are yet again seeing!

  118. the original bellaluna says:

    Crackheads need consequences.

  119. Eileen says:

    Noooooo-no consequences! Then its the end of crack tail gating! lol kidding-throw this bitch in jail already!
    Can you tell I just took my first sip of chard? MM MM good.

  120. Splat says:

    @Innocent

    Lindsay tested positive for alcohol after she found out she was beig charged with felony grand theft and her probation was revoked anyway because of that.

    The Betty Ford incident was sketchy due to Dawn Holland’s behavior and there wasn’t any actual evidence that she was drinking. She didn’t fail a test.

    As for the bitter Detective’s claims about other stores then up until today there was zero theft convictions

    All right lets go thru your post here:

    Innocent: Lindsay tested positive for alcohol after she found out she was beig charged with felony grand theft and her probation was revoked anyway because of that.

    Okay? So apparetly she was just celebrating her sobriety and release from BF with Booze? and that’s o.k. apparently in your wisdom? That screams to me that she is NOT addressing her problems with her addictions, and the last things she ought to be doing is drinking when she is on thin ice with the legal system.

    Innocent: The Betty Ford incident was sketchy due to Dawn Holland’s behavior and there wasn’t any actual evidence that she was drinking. She didn’t fail a test.

    Sketchy? You mean like when someone is climbing over a wall to GET back in to a Rehab? That is sketchy to me.

    The fact that she was climbing over a wall to get back in and the police had found several people that say they saw Lindsay drinking does not mean she wasn’t drinking.

    The fact that she refused to test right away is standard guilt in a case like this. Snortcake only didn’t test positive because she took her test hours later.

    Innocent: As for the bitter Detective’s claims about other stores then up until today there was zero theft convictions.

    The bitter detective??? Are you off your nut? In your astute observation this Detective was out to get Lindsay (incidentally this is their job to investigate people like Snortcake and the general public)

    So what your basically saying is everyone is out to get Lindsay… and Lindsay’s word is the truth and nothing but the truth… right?

    Wow! I am amazed, I don’t even think there have been this many plots to get Osama Bin Laden! But Lindsay has more against her than Osama…okay..if you say so!

    Zero theft convictions… Yes convicytions, but History once again has shown that is not the case… the missing Rolex that Lindsay forgot she borrowed and for got to return, until her friend threatened Police action… then it was returned.

    The Fur Coat that Lindsay swiped from a Model at a club and was photgraphed wearing, and the Model sued her, and Lindsay settled the suit. That doesn’t mean she didn’t do it means she paid the Model off to keep it out of court.

    Just becuse she didn’t admit guilt or wasn’t convicted doesnn’t mean she didn’t do any of it. Theft is theft no matter how you try and color it.

  121. Madisyn says:

    @ splat, I was again typing when you were posting, sorry everyone for the duplication but although we think a lot alike, sometimes I have a slightly different take when it comes to Innocent. (Like bellaluna said) Great Minds. . .

    @ Ruby Red, thanks and I agree with you, No Consequences, No Change. Unfortunately for our little crackhead, thats not good.

    @ Eileen, may I have a glass?

    @ Innocent, your getting on my last nerve. If your going to defend this twit get your facts straight.

    “Lindsay tested positive for alcohol after she found out she was being charged with felony grand theft and her probation was revoked anyway because of that”

    What the eff does it matter WHEN? Testing positive, is testing positive. It obviously in the report, so although you say her probation was already revoked, I’m going to say IT COUNTS!

    “The Betty Ford incident was sketchy due to Dawn Holland’s behavior and there wasn’t any actual evidence that she was drinking. She didn’t fail a test”.

    I’m glad you brought up this point. Now sit down and I will school you. Get your #2 pencil ready. First off the report initially says NOTHING about Dawn Holland, only that NUMEROUS WITNESSES saw her drinking. Secondly, she didn’t take said test because the IDIOT got caught and wouldn’t take the test. THEN and only then did she allegly assualt Dawn Holland.

    “As for the bitter Detective’s claims about other stores then up until today there was zero theft convictions.”

    How do you know the Detective is bitter. Your right about one thing, there have been zero theft CONVICTIONS. But her actions have in the past shown a propensity for such behavior. You can sugar coat it all you want but after over 100 posts, only yours are postive. Now thats telling.

    Now please leave me be.

  122. Kim says:

    How many times has this girl had to wear an ankle bracelet? she may as well have one permanently attached!

    Lindsays ways will catch up with her. Its just a matter of time before she is caught stealing red handed on camera and there wont be any he said, she said like with the whole BF incident.

    She will get her true punishment eventually because she has to many issues to stop drinking, pill popping & stealing and it will catch up with her.

  123. Ruby Red Lips says:

    @Splat “The bitter detective??? Are you off your nut?”

    OMG I just snorted my shot of crack delusion out of my nose! Love it! :D

    But Innocent’s ‘bitter detective’ remark sounds like only something a Lohan would make…or a mad psychotic stalker!

    Ladies, have to leave the party now, but it’s been great! Will cu all at the next one! Oh and pls bring the crack’n'cheese again, it’s my favourite :)

  124. Liana says:

    God, Innocent. Stop. Please. Enough. You’re making my head explode. People like you are the reason this girl is the giant mess that she is. Enabling and excusing are not helping her.

  125. Stephanie says:

    If this bitch makes it to 40 I will eat my hat.

  126. Splat says:

    @ splat, I was again typing when you were posting, sorry everyone for the duplication but although we think a lot alike, sometimes I have a slightly different take when it comes to Innocent. (Like bellaluna said) Great Minds. . .

    @Madisyn

    That’s okay, I just couldn’t resist putting in my twocents to Innocents post due to the fact that there seems to be an over inflated sense that lil miss Snortcake can do no wrong.

    You would swear that Innocent has been drinking a little too much of the Dina Kool-Aid.

    I’m sure if Innocent, Lindsay and I were at a L.A. Dodgers game together and that the grounds crew were making the white out lines on the field and Lindsay was sitting there sniffing and scratching her nose, acting all fidgety and then suddenly She leaps up and sprinted down the stands, climbed down the wall, grabbed a chuck of garden hose and started to chase after the guy pushing the cart to make the white lines while snorting wildy, that it would be a “Plot Against Poor Lindsay”.

    I don’t know who’s delusions are worse Dina the “Orange Oprah” of the Lohan PR machine or Innocent’s!

  127. Eileen says:

    @Madisyn glass is poured! Come ON! :D

  128. Hakura says:

    @Bellaluna“@ Hakura – All right, here’s the bat! Let’s crack this puppy open and party on! (Love the symbolism, BTW – excellent choice.)”

    Why thank you! I was proud of the idea. Now all of us here who want nothing more than to ‘kick Lindsay’s ass’…. actually have the opportunity. (As it would be with Linnocent herself, when you hit her, narcotics & alcohol come out! It’s an interesting mental picture… someone hitting her, sending pills & packets of cocaine flying from her pockets/bra/purse.)

    @Madisyn – I thought Linnocent was bisexual? (That’s what I always thought, even though she’s been focused on women lately.) She probably doesn’t even know what she is… But I guess it doesn’t really matter when you’re plastered & high.

    I’m familiar with a few of those meds. Trazadone is an antidepressant, but is often prescribed in small doses to help one sleep. (It didn’t actually work on me, though.) Zoloft is a normal antidepressant, doesn’t normally have many side effects (Though it *can* cause a loss of apetite, & difficulty sleeping). But she’s very likely using the Zyrtec (allergy med) to get a slight high… Who knows how that would interact if she took the Trazadone *with* it.

    I know some who are familiar with the way the legal system works in California, & they’ve explained that Lindsay ISNT getting special treatment… That she hasn’t offended seriously or often enough to warrant being sent to actual jail.

    WTF? I don’t buy that, not after this. She’s f’ed up & flipped off the law MANY times. No one is holding her responsible. If any one of us did half the shit she has, we’d have been in PRISON by now.

  129. Paul Frehley says:

    The way I see it. The judge just put the final nails in Lindsay’s coffin. By letting off with basically another slap on the wrist is the reason she will continue to act the way she does.

    There as some people in this world who believe that she is trying to change, but those of us with half a brain can see right through her “act”.

    She won’t be able to go through the next 3 years without getting into trouble, but we all know when she gets drunk. It’s not her fault, its the fault of the company that make the booze. They were out to get her but making it in the first place.

    She is doomed

  130. Madisyn says:

    @ Eileen, thanks for the Chard, I downed it, not enough. Need something a little bit stronger after dealing with the delusions of @ Innocent. Reaching for my vodka and cranberry. For real.

    For now, I just want to thank everyone for the bitchen comments that have kept me from tearing my hair out at this blantant miscarriage of justice. You keep me sane by LMAO.

    A very, very special thanks to: @bellaluna,
    @brin,
    @Rita,
    @Eileen,
    @Ruby Red,
    @Splat,
    @Hakura
    @sapphire
    @Dorothy
    @Melinda
    @lucy2
    @Liana
    @Harfang
    @Kaiser, without your open post, we couldn’t have crack partied.

    Thank you again for a most entertaining day! God Bless.

  131. Trashaddict says:

    Court’s done, let’s pick up the crack party where we left off! I brought crab cakes, they’re right here by my delicious biscuits!

  132. Crash2GO2 says:

    Wow. In that first photo, you can see the facial sagging she already has going on at the tender age of under twentyfive something.

    Girlfriend will NOT age well. Hell, her implants are already almost to her knees and she doesn’t even seem to notice. But she will probably treat us to all sorts of sexy shennanigans as if she were immortally hot, kind of like Pamela Anderson. If she lives that long.

  133. Missed the court appointment – someone stole my passport. You know how it goes. . .

    . . . But it looks like I’m just in time for the party! *wink wink*

  134. ctkat1 says:

    So…what’s the over/under on the Crackful Dodger sneaking out of her house during her two week house arrest? There’s no way she’s staying out of the clubs that long…

  135. futureperfect says:

    @Innocent, said it before, will say it again: please get off Lindsay’s nutsack. Trust me, you don’t know where it’s been.

  136. kasper says:

    alright people let’s get down to brass tacks: how much does lindsay charge for a hand-job? a blow-job? v@gin@l penetration? anal? will she be able to get the same rates in prison?

  137. Lia says:

    Good grief. The jowels on her in the first picture make her look like a 50-something Lifestyle Lift candidate.

  138. Chris says:

    “Lohan is eligible to wear the ankle monitor because she is considered a low risk offender, and the Los Angeles County jails are notoriously overcrowded.”

    If they stopped putting drug users in jail they’d have more room for violent offenders.

  139. Ur Favorite Bartender says:

    @Innocent aka Dina

    Lindsay is on a path of darkness, self destruction and she’s terribly delusional about LIFE. She’s going to die before she even really gets to start living (considering the obvious deadness in her soul atm) and I’m sure with the way she’s going- she wont live to see 30. Put a positive spin on that *insert huge eye roll*

  140. DoMaJoReMc says:

    In that first picture, you can see the needle marks on her lips. That’s just GROSS right there. I am 53 and I GUARANTEE I look better than this….

  141. brin says:

    I’m still hung over….can’t wait for our next crack tailgate! See y’all then!!!!

  142. the original bellaluna says:

    @ brin – Ah, memories. Sort of. Anyway, can’t wait either! Good times!

    @ DoMaJo – THAT’S what those marks are? I thought she was having an outbreak!

  143. The Uber Bitch says:

    I’m just waiting for her accidental overdose. Such a waste of space.

  144. Hakura says:

    @Madisyn – Awww <3 It really was so fun. A big thanks to you too!

    Strange to think that even though we’re all continually frustrated by her idiotic excuses & lack of legitimate punishment, it does bring us together, as she seems to be the one thing we can all (with the exception of Innocent) agree on.

    The upside being that not being in jail means more opportunities to screw up. It’s not a matter of ‘if’, but ‘when’. There’s no way in hell she can keep her nose clean (& free of white residue) for *3 years*. I’ll be shocked if she makes it to 3 months.

    But I have to admit, I can’t help but *hope* she doesn’t OD. I mean, she’s a pain in the ass, & can be mildly entertaining being an idiot, but I don’t wish harm on her. Unfortunately I think the odds are pretty high that she will end up that way.

    @FuturePerfect“@Innocent, said it before, will say it again: please get off Lindsay’s nutsack. Trust me, you don’t know where it’s been.

    Even worse, we DO probably *all* know where it’s been… All the more reason to avoid it.