Is Cheryl Cole going to “happen” in America?

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These are some photos of British celebrity Cheryl Cole at the Cannes Film Festival a few days ago. The odd, plunging dress is by Stephane Rolland. I would like to see the dress without the brass testicles (?) on the waist, and I would like to see Cheryl styled with a more natural, less caked-on makeup look, and maybe something different with her hair. Something other than a friggin’ ponytail.

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In the past, I’ve covered some random Cheryl Cole stories (like her split from her husband Ashley, and one of her magazine interviews), but I still don’t really feel like I know her. I get that she’s sort of the aspirational “chav” girl for British women, and I do think Cheryl is a pretty girl (once you get past the prostitute-ish makeup). But is she going to “happen” in America?

As you probably heard, Cheryl got the gig on Simon Cowell’s American version of X-Factor. Cheryl was/is a judge on the British version too, and I think she and Simon are supposed to be very, very close. Simon is actually putting his two favorite ladies together on the project: Cheryl and Paula Abdul. Oh, and L.A. Reid is in the mix too. So… I think comparatively speaking, yes, Cheryl is going to come across as sane, nice and lovely compared to Paula’s raging lunacy and Reid and Simon’s curt, bitchy demeanors.

But will America embrace her? Eh. I hate to say it, but I kind of think they might. Being “the nice girl” on a show filled with bitches who are either A)insane or B)hyper-critical.

Oh, regarding her rack… it’s real, right? I suspect they’re real, but something about them seems kind of fakey. Like, the way they’re attached to her chest…? I can’t explain it. The spacing? Eh. And before you start yelling at me, just stop. She wore this dress on purpose. Because if we’re talking about her rack, we’re talking about HER. And she needs to be introduced to the American public. She thinks the best way to force the introduction is via her boobs. So go ahead and talk about them. That’s what she wants.

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Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

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65 Responses to “Is Cheryl Cole going to “happen” in America?”

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  1. CandyKay says:

    Wow, fire the stylist. She’s a pretty girl who has been very, very badly styled, and apparently applied her make up in a pitch-black room.

  2. Anya says:

    This woman is a complete moron, has no talent and is certainly not a nice person- she has a criminal conviction for lashing out at a bathroom attendant. Oh, and she’s also BFFs with WillIAM…says it all.

  3. yoyo99 says:

    Nice teeth for a brit

  4. BG says:

    She is racist, that’s why her publicist arranged that marriage to Ashley Cole, he on the other hand has lots of gay rumours.

  5. Victoire says:

    I don’t like her, never did =)

  6. tapioca says:

    I hope so. Or else she’ll come back to Blighty! But seriously, Chezzer wasn’t so bad on UK X Factor, and she’s a talent show winner so at least she has genuine empathy, instead of Paula’s alcohol-induced affection.

    That is an ill-advised choice of dress though – Megan Fox tried one in red (with new “Scream” face) at the Jonah Hex premiere and even she couldn’t pull it off!

  7. Confuzzle says:

    She beat up a black woman in a toilet and used racial slurs. She’s had tonnes of plastic surgery too. Hideous creature.

  8. brin says:

    Too soon to say but I agree she needs to fire her stylist.

  9. Ruby says:

    She is pretty no doubt. Will she be a hit? Mostly likely. Her success will not come about because she can sing, dance, act, model or that she is a philanthropist or for her intellectual ability. She will make it big because she is pretty. That’s all I know about her- she’s a cutie nothing else to offer. Am I bitter? No just stating the obvious. Don’t need talent to be famous.

    PS what is up with her breasts in the last pic?

  10. CandyKay says:

    Maybe the neckline is so big so she could get the dress over her head without smearing that inch-thick makeup.

  11. searching4grace says:

    I was thinking ovary protectors, maybe? I also think the wide shoulder pads make her boobs look like they’re in weird places. She looks good in white, just not that dress. We don’t watch Idol or XFactor so I’ll miss all the fun zaniness.

  12. Lara says:

    Thank you BG! No one believes me when I say thats the reason those two got married. They always come back with ‘if he’s gay why did he cheat’. Did you see what happened to her career when those stories came out! She got the British X Factor gig and now look where she is.

  13. Luci says:

    For the first time ever, I totally agree with you in fashion advice. The golden pears in the dress need to go and the make up is too done (she’s so pretty! why does she make up so much!!)

  14. Bopa says:

    I doubt it. Several blogs have been trying to push her down their readers throats for years so people stopped commenting or posting.

  15. Kiki says:

    I don’t like her… She’s racist 🙁

  16. Waldemar says:

    Idols and now X-Factor is becoming more and more a show about how a B list celeb becomes a judge and revives his/her career.

  17. Phoenix says:

    I really hope she doesn’t make it. I never understood why she became a big deal in the UK in the first place, she’s a violent little chav with an accent who managed to cry on national television making her “real” and therefore the nation’s sweetheart? Give me a break. I know it isn’t important but she has very little talent, and she just generally annoys me.

  18. Jazz says:

    God I hope not.

  19. Kezia says:

    Theres always been talking of her breasts being of the fake variety- they’re certainly out of proportion for her body and awfully fake -looking.

  20. Darlene says:

    Too. much. makeup.

    Also, wtf with those brass pears on her dress???

  21. Rose says:

    I’ve been a big Cheryl and Girls Aloud fan for ages, – since they began on a similar x factor style show in 2003. She does look tons better when she’s not wearing all that slap, but given the last 18 months that she’s just had (v public divorce from cheating hubby, nearly dying of malaria) i think we can give her slack and thihnk she’s applying it in a ‘war paint’ defensive/insecure way. She must be terrified.
    Ps boobs real, lucky girls, she usually doesn’t show case them so much and has complained in the past about how hard they are to dress (read: hide).

  22. Kimble says:

    Weirdest. cleavage. ever.

  23. bellatrix says:

    While we’re talking about boobs, they are pretty much the same size and shape as mine (which are real btw).

  24. Reality says:

    I can’t stand her. She’s a horrible, untalented little narcissist who happens to be pretty with adorable dimples.

    America can have her.

  25. Amy says:

    Her breasts look really alien in that last photo. I almost can’t bear to look at them, and yet I can’t not look at them. That’s almost the silhouette of male pectorals.

  26. DGO says:

    She didn’t beat up a black woman. She hit a woman who hit her first in the washroom because the woman wanted a bigger tip from her. Race had nothing to do with it. She’s also always dated black guys.

    All that said, there are rumours about her and Simon dating. The fiancee he’s got floating around is supposed to be a ruse.

  27. flounder says:

    Too much makeup!

  28. I hate people trying to ‘happen’. too much try for my taste. person needs to be *captivating* without obviously trying to be so

  29. Eve says:

    If she gets an American Vogue cover Victoria Beckham will be on suicide watch.

  30. Lola says:

    Oh she will happen in Amrica. She’s pretty (basic) and she will be a feature on a soon to hit show for middle america. She is a america new Personality Princess. Kim K. better watch her back.

  31. Sue says:

    WOW alot of hate here! I personally think that she is beautiful. she has had a very hard year and always carries herself with grace and dignity.

  32. Melanie says:

    Yes, she’s very pretty but not a very nice person. And in my opinion, talentless

    She was convicted of assault in 2003 although she was found not guilty of the racist element of the charge.

    Nice picture of her victim in this article from the BBC website: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/3207822.stm

  33. Ruby Red Lips says:

    She is very pretty…but that’s the only good thing about her. She has the weakest voice going and is a jumped up little Chav…

    If she didn’t have such a pretty face (evident with a more natural look) then she would just be a wannabe

    I really hope she isn’t a hit in the USA…she doesn’t deserve it. Beating up black night club attendants is her real self, there is no justification for that

  34. Ruby Red Lips says:

    DGO – so it’s ok to it someone back if they hit you first?! WTF?!

  35. serena says:

    Something’s off with her boobs.

  36. gobo says:

    She’s pretty. The boobs are fake, she became very flat chested when she went for the super skinny look. And yeah, she might scrub up well when she has a decent stylist but underneath it lies a vicious little scobe with no innate taste or sense of style.

  37. DGO says:

    @Ruby Red Lips: It’s called self defence. You can believe if someone attacked me over money (it’s called robbery) that I’d fight back.

  38. GossGirl says:

    Please don’t be fooled by this appearance at Cannes.

    This woman is someone who claims to hate fame, to not want fame yet she uses people to get where she wants – she made a fool out of Derek Hough. She flew to LA on Saturday and back to Europe just a few days later in order to be seen here at Cannes. This was done only in order to give the foreign press the impression that she is A List. For someone who doesn’t want fame she travels great distances to be seen.

    Watch her on Piers Morgan’s Life Stories – there is something seriously wrong with this woman. I used to love her but she’s a very depressed young girl desperately seeking fame.

    Regarding her rack, no they certainly are not real. She has had work done in the past. Of course, she denies this.

    I really wouldn’t mind her but I can’t handle the fakeness anymore. The photoshotos which claim she’s dressed down with little make up yet they are still the most styled shoots she does. The denials that any press is good press. The denials re Ashley.

    – can’t anyone else see it?? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!!!

  39. Crash2GO2 says:

    I hope not.

  40. Missy says:

    I’ve been reading about this girl for a year now, but I still can’t name a single one of her songs. I had no idea about her racist tendencies, though. I hope she stays in the UK.

  41. danielle says:

    I saw a pic of her when she was recovering from malaria – very little or no makeup, and extra weight – she was beautiful. She needs to put down the spackle and get off her diet.

  42. Macheath says:

    If that was the case, DGO, why didn’t the attendant get charged too? Why did Cheryl get charged in the first place if it was self-defence?

  43. DGO says:

    @Macheath – For the same reason the toilet attendant didn’t get hit with contempt of court charges for lying under oath about the racism charges.

  44. Relli says:

    Ok you guys i had no idea what a chav was so i decided to Google it (yes i am a dumb American).

    All i can say is WOW! I would put some meaner things down but i know CB doesn’t care for derogatory or bigoted comments. The images say it all but even Wikipedia had some great insight, here we just call it PWT!

    All i can say is that i am glad i didn’t have more money to buy Burberry when i was all into it.

  45. Waldemar says:

    @ DGO. Oh please! It was about candy. The victim was a bathroom attendant, Cheryl took too many complimentary lolliepops when she was leaving and the victim said something about that and tried to get them back. Then she was attacked by Sheryl. There was NEVER any money involved.

  46. Tali says:

    People have been trying to make Cheryl happen in America for years now and it’s so irritating! The girls got marginal talent and is only famous for her widely publicized divorce….I wish Simon would stop trying so fecking hard to force her on us….

  47. OXA says:

    Looks like a drg queen sounds like an idiot.

  48. bluhare says:

    To the person who made the comment re Brits and teeth: I’m so effing sick of that stereotype. Here’s another stereotype for you. Americans are loud arrogant jerks who are fixated on looks. I don’t say I believe it, I mention it as being as absurd as the other.

    That being said, famewhore extrordinaire Ms. Cole! Rumor has it she boffed or blew Cowell for the job.

  49. Ell says:

    Cheryl’s pretty but she has no style and absolutely no talent.

    I have doubts about her making it in the US, I don’t think they are going to understand her gordie accent. However it’s lovely not having her face on her screens everytime you turn on the tv here in the UK.

  50. DGO says:

    @Waldemar – Actually, the attendant tried to reach for Chery’s money and when she couldn’t intimidate her, made up the racist attack.

  51. Ell says:

    @bluhare I’m with you on the teeth comment, it’s the second time of read it here in the past week. It’s such an tired and unfunny joke. And to the people who make the comments. The fact is Britains had rotten teeth post war because they were malnourished due to rations and poor diet, and the country was so poor they couldn’t afford dentistry.

    No offence but I always think a point is stronger if you don’t respond to an insult with an insult:)

  52. Violelia says:

    I am English, I live in England and I absolutely hate her. To me she is an absolute chav with no style at all. You can tell when watching the X Factor that the faces she pulls are completely fake, she tries to look all sincere and moved by the singing by squinting her eyes and pouting.
    I also find her very snotty and I hate seeing her everyday in newspapers and magazines.
    Call me jealous but I will happily share my love of other beautiful celebrities, but I genuinely dislike her.
    Also, she is pretty not beautiful, that furiates me aswell, the way she gets named Sexiest Woman in the World. Have you seen her!! urgh
    Also, her songs are completely atrocious, so bad i turn over whenever they come on

  53. Julie says:

    What’s up with Simon concerning Cheryl? She does not warrant being a judge – something fishy!

  54. bluhare says:

    @Ell: You’re right. I shouldn’t let my crankitude get the best of me.

    My mom has a great story about post war Brtitain. Her dad had a shop but they weren’t able to get any extra food, and were rationed just like everyone else. Before it started, her mom had a can of evaporated fruit and a can of pears. She told the family that she was saving those until the war ended, and then they were going to have victory pears/evap milk (I know, sounds disgusting, but when you’ve not had real food for four years . . .). She kept them in the cupboard, and when the war was over they celebrated with them. She threw the cans in the rubbish and the dustman told everyone they were taking advantage during the war because my grandad had the store. That’s how bad it was, people.

  55. Camille says:

    She’s a pretty albeit very badly styled girl, but having heard her speak recently I don’t think I could stand listening to her talk for more than a minute. I don’t see myself ever becoming a fan.

  56. Newbie says:

    She’s pretty imho. I don’t even mind the dress. If her boobs were bigger, it would look tacky. But I agree, the “brass testicles” or whatever they are need. to. go. Other than that, I actually like her look. Her boobs look real imo. I’ve seen a lot of boobs in my job. You can spot fake boobs from a mile away.

  57. Ell says:

    @bluhare – that’s such a sad story. they were tough times. I grew up with a Gran who never really got out of that ration mentality, times are so different now.

  58. HotPockets says:

    Her teeth are fake. The boobs do look very odd. They remind me of Blake Lively’s boobs! Can we get a special name for that? Unifake-peck cleavage?

    I’ve noticed that Rihanna looks like she has had breast augmentation, but maybe that was already known, but I never realized she had a chest until recently!

  59. Zvonk says:

    I’m British, and I can barely understand her strong accent. Americans will have no chance.

    And if you have seen her on X-Factor UK, you’ll know that the woman has no style sense at all. Danni Minogue outshone her every episode.

  60. Marie says:

    I don’t mean to offend (live in England myself, can’t really say ugly teeth is a reoccuring issue :D) but I think I saw a picture of her from way back, when she looked like herself and assaulted that lady in the toilet, and it looks like she has changed her teeth entirely, as in, they’re fake

  61. HotLatino says:

    I like her, she looks like Eva Longoria, but she should speak with an American accent since I don’t understand her when she speaks, so no one’s gonna understand her on the X factor if she speaks like that. And btw I’m not American but I have a hard time understanding British accents especially the Geordie (sp?)one

  62. fallen says:

    She keeps trying to make it over here and now I guess Simon is trying to help her.

  63. Reece says:

    She’s defended her boobs so many times. I think she just knows how to display them. Her best friend at others events seems to be a push-up bra.
    As for Cheryl herself I went through a huge Girls Aloud phase and I think she’s funny and sassy and has done an ok job at being a judge in the UK. I look forward to seeing how she translates over here. Her accent used to be pretty thick. I know she’s toned it down, but you never know how it’ll sound to american viewers.

  64. Ausnick says:

    Americans haven’t a hope in hell of understanding a word she says (unless she’s going to have some serious voice coaching). They’ll end up having to use subtitles for her.

  65. Isa says:

    She’ll pose for a couple guy mags and become semi-popular.

    Her boobs may be real. Not sure. They certainly lay flat enough. Maybe they’re under the muscle?

    I love her nose.