Every time I write about Weston Cage, I find myself laughing so hard at the bizarre spectacle of his very public life, which takes a few moments at least. Then, there’s the obvious dilemma — do I use those photos of him bleeding outside the courthouse from likely self-inflicted wounds? Or maybe the ones of him showing off his flying roundhouse kick for the paps like some crazed genie wearing tap shoes? Or even the ones of Weston with his mother and wife, who are both dressed so sluttily that it’s difficult to tell them apart? In the end, the karate photos usually win the contest, but today, we have a very special treat courtesy of Weston’s Facebook page, where he announces his divorce from Nikki Williams in the following manner: “WELL ITS OFFICAL. THE DIVORCE IS SETTLED! ……………. LADIES, DADDY IS BACK ahahahhahahaahh oh god! its on.” So romantic:

Uh, sign me up? I guess I’ll be waiting back here at the end of this exceedingly long line of gorgeous, eligible bachelorettes. Oh well.

For her part, Nikki shows much more restraint on her Facebook page but has already removed the “Cage” from her name. Indeed, TMZ confirms the sad news of the demise of Weston and Nikki’s wedded bliss:

Weston Cage’s marriage lasted THREE times as long as Kim Kardashian’s union … but alas, it’s succumbed to the same fate.

TMZ has learned … Nic’s oldest son filed divorce papers in L.A. County Superior Court last week, looking to end his troubled marriage to singer Nikki Williams.

Cage cites irreconcilable differences for the split … which comes as a shock to no one, considering they were both arrested for domestic violence against each other after they tied the knot.

Cage and Williams were married on a whim in New Orleans back in April … after a two week engagement.

[From TMZ]

Here are more treasures from Weston’s Facebook page where one can still witness photos of the couple in happier moments:

Meanwhile, Radar Online has the scanned divorce document itself, in which Weston has taken it upon himself to hire the high-powered Trope & Trope (why?) for the legal proceedings. He cites “irreconcilable differences” and requests no spousal support for Nikki but wants her to pay his attorney fees because, presumably, Daddy Nic can no longer pay for everything.

In other words, Nikki is out of the reality show after she worked so hard to join in the madness by getting pregnant and blazingly drunk before threatening to jump off a balcony during the couple’s mutual bender in early July, which resulted in both their arrests on felony domestic violence charges. A few weeks later, Weston got himself jailed again on fresh felony domestic violence charges. All of this, of course, followed the momentous occasion when Weston flew into a physical rage and tried to kick his personal trainer’s ass in public. Yet Weston still insists that he’s not mentally ill.

While this new turn of events may seems drastic — the couple has been married only for six months, and Weston’s spent at least half of that time in rehab — I wouldn’t rule out a reunion for he and Nikki. Although this is technically the first time that either of them has filed divorce papers, Weston has threatened to do so in the past. In early July, he claimed that he wanted a divorce and asked his Facebook friends to “Vote on the Divorce. Yes or No.” God bless social media, right? Then, he uploaded a cute little video to match:

“Traditionally, the person that is abused or attacked or victimized is the one who usually breaks up with the other,” Weston, dressed in a hoodie and smoking a cigarette, said in the clip. “It’s hard to believe but I was the one abused….I got three witnesses, a video recording, I was sober.”

He then held up divorce papers for the camera.

“I’m not gonna be the one that gets dumped. Because it just wouldn’t make sense. Why would I abuse the person I was trying to save?” he asked. “If I hit somebody which I haven’t done in years…you want war, fine? Then let’s have war. You want peace, I prefer that.”

Cage commented again on that incident as well as his mental state.

“I was misdiagnosed with bipolar and approved cogent when [trainer] Kevin [Villegas] assaulted me I was too drunk to fight back, thats why I’m not sore about the video,” wrote Weston. “So don’t judge of a battle where my vigor was abated by deathly amounts of booze. Never hit my wife. Why would I start abusing after she was positive after taking a pregnant-c test.”

[From E! Online]

So Weston admits that he’d never hit anyone even though he’s done so in the past, and his trainer is supposedly the one who assaulted him. Further, he seems to believe that because he’s the one seeking divorce, it automatically functions as proof that he was the abused party in the relationship. All of this arrives after he showed off his wounds in public not once but twice and, in the latter instance, TMZ got wind that “cops believe the injuries were self-inflicted.” C’mon, does this look like the face of a guy who’d intentionally hurt himself?

Photos courtesy of Fame, WENN, and PCN