My default reaction to Courtney Stodden is usually the side eye followed by some involuntary dry heaves, but this actually cracked me the hell up. It was like a parody from The Soup it was so over the top. Courtney, 17, staged a Very Special Christmas bikini photo op complete with her 51 year-old daddy husband playing the Santa role. She used a bunch of cheesy euphemisms to enthuse about how she’d like to bang Santa, and she even read us her alliterative tweets. Courtney was wearing only a teeny shiny red bikini in very cold weather with snow on the ground, but of course it didn’t bother her since she’s not human at all. And of course Courtney’s evil mom was there, the mom that sold her daughter off to a dude older than her own husband and continues to shill this story to the press. Here’s more, from Radar, where you can see the photos. You can also see more at Egotastic. A video is above.
The Teen Bride and her 51-year-old husband Doug Hutchison celebrated Christmas early this year and RadarOnline.com has the photos from their provocative day in the snow.
Dressed as Santa and Mrs. Claus, the happy couple couldn’t keep their hands off each other while they posed on Mt. Baldy in a series of sexy shots.
In a shiny tiny red bikini, 17-year-old Courtney sat on Santa’s lap to tell him exactly what it is she wants for Christmas.
And her present to Santa was popping out of the big wrapped box with all her buxom curves on display.
“I’ve never felt hotter in the cold snow!” Courtney told RadarOnline.com exclusively.
While the blonde bombshell’s momager, Krista, told RadarOnline.com: “It was freezing, the photo people said she’s the toughest girl they’d ever seen. Everyone was freezing and she was in her bikini with her feet in the snow.”
Santa has definitely made his list and checked it twice and we bet Courtney has been pretty naughty this year!
[From Radar]
They were on Mt. Baldy. Is that genius or just a coincidence? I’ll repeat what I said in our last story on their prom dress photo op at the Grove: this means they’re getting desperate. There’s no reality show contract yet, they turned down a supporting role on a D-list VH1 reality show because the think they’re better than that (they’re not, they’re not even that good) and they’re holding out for more money and fame. They better take a hard look at the Octomom because they’re headed for a similar fate once the photo ops dry up. Courtney always has her “music career” to fall back on, and barring that, she can concentrate on bringing “back the classy beautiful edge of old Hollywood.” In her prescription drug-addled mind, that means a raunchier reality-show version of Benny Hill.
Here are some photos of Cats dressed up for Christmas just to cleanse your mind palate now.
I was waiting for this post, CB. After seeing the Kardashian Kristmas Kard, I knew Courtney’s trailer park skankfest would be coming up (just like my breakfast after seeing this)! HO HO HO!!
HO HO HO!!
She certainly is a Christmas HO HO HO! Next stop – Vivid. No one wants to see a reality show of these two. Hee, hee.
I’m sick of that arm cuff of hers. Oh honey.
I’m beginning to think that’s her brain. There’s no room in her skull otherwise.
ha! love it. it’s like her link back to the mother ship.
It *IS* supremely strange that the armband is on IN EVERY SINGLE PICTURE. I wore an arm band to prom. IN FLIPPIN 1998.
She really is a middle-aged person’s vague idea of what “sexy” looks like. If the middle-aged people were aliens who had only ever used Baywatch episodes and Cinemax soft core as their evidence.
Right? I wore an armband my whole senior year of highschool, 98-99, as did a lot of other girls. It is strange that she always has it on, obviously she thinks it’s supah sexy.
I think she can’t get it off…
I actually think she’s trying to emulate Pamela Anderson. Remember in the 90ties she used to wear one all the time?
Doesn’t that skank own any other slut shoes besides that silver pair. Couldn’t bring myself to watch the video, I’m out of bleach so I wouldn’t of been able to cleanse my eyes afterwards.
hahhahahhahahah…same here. Couldn’t muster enough care enough to gross myself out.
Are there no depths these two won’t go for attention. Do they not have any personal pride?
The sad part is they actually drove somewhere to get a bunch of snow to film this.
I am sorry but this girl has zero sex appeal. I find it all just sad and pathetic.
On the bright side, the pic of the yellow cat cracks me up. What a face and expression.
She sure give new meaning to that “Whore, whore, whore” ah mean “Ho, ho, ho”
This is very unbuddhist op me, but I hope her mother falls down a manhole. She really is evil.
That poor kid. I hope therapy can help her in the future.
I’m with you. And I hope she pulls Dina Lohan down with her.
Yeah no kidding; her mom stands by while she makes a slutty skanktastic cheap gimmick out of herself? I don’t care if she’s married, that doesn’t mean this behaviour is suddenly okay. She’s 17, for fucks sake.
You’re buddhist too? 🙂 me too! Idk all I can say is her mom is accumulating some HEAVY karma.
Oh you Mara you 😉
And the buddha said ‘be gone with you, mara!’ Lol. ahhh… Maras got these people hardcore.
Ahh it’s never too early for Barf-feast!
Lemme just slip a wee bit of vodka in my coffee. They’ll be lucky if Santa doesn’t beat the crap outta them with a bag of coal this year!
*Appreciate the kitty cat pix!!
Basement Cat is the highlight of this story.
Love it!!
I love me some LOL Cats….
Is basement cat basement baby’s pet?
Basement Cat looks like a larger version of my cat. And that’s exactly how my cat would react too.
This girl looks like a 42 year old morning-shift stripper, who has had an amazingly hard life. If this thing is truly 17, we are looking at the End of Days. Repent now, people. I am terrified.
There is no way shes 17.
Can’t. Stop. Cringing.
I still don’t think she’s 17.
Me either.
WOW
This is kiddie porn at best. This couple is basically saying it’s okay for 70 year old me to troll the high school for girls if they have a little bit of fortune and maybe even fame in exchange. Kobe’s ex’s family could give lessons!
Awesome kitty pics. Better than brain bleach.
So assuming she might be actually 17, did she get “married off” because it now gives her an excuse to be slutty?
Her parents sold their minor daughter into an arranged marriage.
I just feel as though it’s a way to promote extra sluttiness. Like it’s okay, because she’s married now.
I’m whory-fied.
Horrific view, tragically whory and incredibly tacky. not only tacky but tacky tacky tacky and gross.
yuck.
lol!
14 seconds. That’s how far I made it into the video. The cringe factor was too overwhelming.
I made it 25 seconds. I think my brain curdled when she twitched out something about wanting to be spanked by santa for christmas.
baby jesus is rolling over in the cradle, I’d assume.
What’s up with her mouth? Is that the result of cheap plastic surgery? Discount fillers?
I am not going to watch the video, I am not going to watch the video (repeating over and over and over again)..I can’t stand to look at her in those clothes, we forget that she is claiming to be 17 (I don’t believe it) however if she actually is all I can say is child porn!!
I have an 18 year old and would beat the piss right out of her for some stuff like this..Of course my daughter wouldn’t even think about being like this. Yep I still have a quick back hand and am not afraid to use it.
I hope you are joking, hitting your children is NOT okay.
Maybe if the tramp in the above photos and video had her ass smacked when she was younger we wouldn’t be seeing her spread eagle in her 90 year old husbands face, you can bet anything you won’t see my girls doing this crap. It is called discipline, self-respect and an ass smacked when they were younger if needed.
I feel a wee bit bad hating on this chick, after all she is almost ten years younger than me, but damn she looks waaaaaay older. I just feel a bit guilty picking on someone who is still technically a kid. I dunno, maybe my bitch factor seems to be decreasing with age?(Im 26) I just still feel bad for her, she’s obv been abused, neglected, and prolly hopped up on uppers.
On a lighter note, those Caturday pics are so cute. Dont let their glares fool you with the little Santa hats on, they secretly LOVE those! My cats did.
Thanks for the lolcatz-so much better than this brainless idiot. Is it possible that a couple is even too low-class and budget for Hollywood? It may have happened!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for the cats!! I needed that 🙂
“I’ve never felt hotter in the cold snow!” Courtney told RadarOnline.com exclusively.
Scoop of the year.
It’s the drugs.
This is child p-rn.
No it isn’t. She’s not a “child”.
It’s really really bad taste, though.
Oh gosh, thank you so much, all of you, for the hillarious comments. I almost couldn’t bare to look at this post, but so glad I did. So, so funny.
And holy cow..what the…. ?!..That one pic where her legs are wrapped around his chin? And the caption said the only problem was the cold weather???
I don’t understand what her ambition is: Does she want to be an actress, a reality star, a singer, what? Because all I ever see her doing is talking about how horny she is and acting like a skank and a porn slut, so are they just waiting for her to turn 18? I’m confused.
I think people who want to be famous tend not to give a ton of thought to what they’d like to be famous for.
Maybe she is just getting more and more work done, but she seems to be getting progressively more masculine looking in the face.
That an entire portion around her mouth seems frozen doesn’t help matters.
Ya, I’m not sure what’s ging on there. Her facial contortions skeeve me out. Bottom line, she’d just not an attractive girl.
Par tof me thinks this ‘marriage’ is 100% false (as opposed to 85% false, or 92% false) and they’re not having sex at all, that this is purely a ‘business’ (i.e. get reality show, get $) arrangement. She shows no awareness of actual sexuality and truly comes across as a child playing at it. And all at her MOTHER’S behest. Someone needs to rescue that girl and send her off, anonymously, to college or something.
The fact that so much of her “sexy” act is straight outta the 1990’s makes me think you’re right. She’s acting out her mother’s idea of what’s sexy, not her own. That woman should be arrested for pandering, and her daughter removed from her john — oops, I mean, husband.
Actually I think you are 100% correct about the marriage being false. During the video she grabs his hand and sticks it in her crotch and he snatches it away like he was burned…….
Oh God, that was so uncomfortable to watch. I can’t imagine seeing anything more awkward this week. Thank you for the lolcats at the end to cleanse the palate, but I need about 200 more of them to really do the job.
Hey Courtney, can I borrow your lips this weekend? I’m going fishing.
LOL!
What a gross gross girl!
This unholy trio was spit from the deepest bowels of hell. Her mother is actually Satan’s more evil fraternal twin sister. Her mission: Destroy all that is good and right in this world. So right now she is dismantling Santa Claus, his myth and all the good that comes from Christmas. Bonus points for the religious component.
Next Courtney will be dressed like the Virgin Mary while Doug plays Joseph and they will frolic lewdly around a manger.
I need a brain colonic after seeing this.
Coutney’s mother needs a brain colonic, as she obviously has her head straight up her own ass!
What. The. F–k.
Their whole shtick is some weird pedo thing. I think they are the MOST shameful people ever. Nasty, nasty old man.
Doug is such a perv, he probably had secret fantasies of sexualizing the whole “children on Santa’s lap” thing for years and now he finally gets to fulfill them with his child bride. Puke.
whenever i see an article on this girl i cant help but think something very horrible happened to her as a child for her to turn out like this 🙁
Like maybe she was dropped on her head.
Multiple times.
Please stop posting this crap !! this should be on a porn site !!! gross gross gross gross gross gross gross gross gross gross gross gross gross
less courtney, more kittehs!
Yes, a 1000 times yes.
This girl’s mother is despicable.
She looks cold.
Like you said… why don’t these morons take a look at previous flash-celebrities? Did Speidi last? (HOMG thank the lord no) Did Octomom? Jon & Kate? This isn’t a career, people. Famewhoring will get you some quick cash, then leave you high, dry and hopefully humiliated. F*ck off, Courtney. I made some poor decisions at 17, and my mother was an alcoholic bipolar person, but I never went this far. Don’t give me that shit.
The reason she’s wearing that armband 24/7 is because she’s been wearing it since her highschool days in 1997/1998.
hahahahaa! nail on the head, you hit it!
WTF is with her face? She always has the strangest grimace on it. Does she a grimacing disease?
Wait a minute. It was mentioned above that her mouth looks frozen in the video. Tons and tons of Botox, anyone, to make her kinda sorta appear youngish?
Should have watched this PRIOR to dinner!!!!!!!!!! gag
Remember: sixth grade dropout. Oh, sorry, “home-schooled” by that mother from the age of 12. No high school experience. She appears to have no friends and no idea how to be 17. Now she sleeps until noon and has Mr. Creepy picking up after her. Does the mother live with them?
I’m with the cat: CAN I HAZ MAI EYEBALLZ BACK after looking at that toxic waste dump photo shoot??! Eeeeeegahhhhhh.
The thought just hit me- is this the future of those kids on Toddlers &Tiaras??? Can’t you just see “pageant mom” behind this?
They are so gross!
Yuck- my computer just got an STD
Hee hee! 😀
I truly believe that in my heart the arm cuff is somehow cutting off the flow of oxygen to her brain. That is the only explanation for this. I have not and will not watch the video, the still photo shot was bad enough. My mother would have beaten the s&*t out of me if I even put those whore shoes on my feet, much less bought them at Hookers Pay Less. And I still say her husband looks like Corey Haim…
just when I thought there was no one out there to top the repulsive, famewhoring of the K*ntdashians, these two came along.
This sad, depraved troll went to a lot of trouble to convince everyone her breasts weren’t fake, but hasn’t tried to prove her real age of ’17’ has she yet?
Is this woman the blonde duchess Kate?
There is nothing sexy about this video. It is so awkward and poorly done. They are both terrible actors. It’s hard to watch them try to stammer through their Cinemax After Dark script while he pretends to grope her and she writhes awkwardly. It’s not even offensive, it’s just embarrassing.
~shudder, gag, shudder~ I feel dirty after watching the video…gross…what on earth were they thinking? they should be neutered and never allowed to procreate!
The Christmas SLUT has arrived WHORERAY!!!
Don’t they claim to be super religious? I’m pretty sure this isn’t how you’re supposed to celebrate the birth of Jesus…
Loved the cat pictures! Wasn’t expecting this so…thanks, Celebitchy!
By the way, you should always end the posts about nasty people with some sort of palate cleanser. I’d love if that was a regular thing here (honestly).
Her overt sexualization is so over the top that she is more of a cartoon character than a real person. Whoever sold them the idea that this would help her career in entertainment is sadly mistaken.
Are there no other shoes as well? Looks like she really needs everything she can get.