Michelle Duggar records a message for her lost baby, includes a lot of pro life talk

Jubilee Shalom Duggar from WMtek Inc on Vimeo.

Reality star Michelle Duggar, 45, miscarried what would have been her 20th baby around her 19th week of pregnancy earlier this month. The family held both a private ceremony and a larger memorial for the baby, a daughter whom they named Jubilee Shalom. During the memorial, photos were shown of Michelle holding Jubilee’s tiny hands and feet. While some people took offense at that, others pointed out that it’s common to photograph the dead and that sometimes these photos are all grieving families may have to remember the little ones they lost.

Now Michelle has recorded a message for Jubilee. One one hand, it’s touching and sad. She’s mourning for what she lost and what she’ll miss with this child. Some of what she said really moved me. All her children are special to her and this was a huge loss to her family. On the other she really goes into some pro-life territory here and spends a lot of time talking about how other people don’t value babies. It’s obvious exactly what she means. I’m trying to be measured here, but the amount of preaching she does is obvious. Plus she’s making it public and this was posted on the Duggar family website, it’s not like they’re only choosing to share it with friends and family.

Dear Jubilee, mommy wanted to write a letter to my precious baby girl. You know, your name Jubilee Shalom Duggar means “joyful celebration of peace.” We were so thankful to God when we found out we expecting you.

So often in society babies are looked upon as a problem, trial or responsibility, but God says babies are a blessing. We do not believe that babies are a bother, a headache or a financial drainer or a career interrupter. We love babies. Your siblings did not view you as the competition. They are truly saddened and disappointed to not have really known you. Only God knows how much you were already loved. You are not loved any less because you were baby number 21 or Duggar grandbaby number 23. We are blessed because you lived. You were only here with us such a short time. It’s an awesome thought to me that you fulfilled your life’s purpose in such a short time. What a blessing to know that you are in the arms of Jesus and that is was His face that you saw first.

You were loved, you were wanted. Your parents wanted you to be. Your grandparents wanted you to be. Your brothers and your sisters wanted you to be, and the rest of the family wanted you to be.

I will miss listening to your heartbeat and praying for you as you grow in my womb. I will miss feeling you kick in my tummy. I will miss cradling you in my arms and singing to you. I will miss teaching you to sing Jesus loves me. I will miss watching you grow up and learn. I will miss seeing life through your eyes… I will miss noticing how you do things like the others, or how different you are… I will miss holding you, hugging you and kissing you…

You’re a love I was able to touch for such a short few moments, and a life I will hold in my heart. I don’t know God’s purpose for taking you on to Heaven, but I know your short life will help me remember truly how fragile life is. It will help me to more fully enjoy the time I have here with the other family members. It will help me to focus on what truly matters in life, and help me to be more aware of Heaven and the ultimate destination…. I like to think of you being in Heaven with our other loved ones… From now on when I’m asked how many children I have, the answer will be 21 19 here and 2 in Heaven. You are precious to me Jubilee, mommy loves you.

I’m sorry this woman lost her baby. That must have been horrific and awful and heartbreakingly sad. The fact that they already have a big family does not change what a tragedy it was. Most of what she said touched me and made me feel very sorry for her family.

Abortion is legal in this country and all the sweetness and preaching and sad stories are hopefully not going to change that. You cannot reduce the issue to one in which people somehow think babies are a “burden.” I wouldn’t expect the Duggars to grasp that it’s much more complicated than that, since they also believe that the earth is about 6,000 years old and that dinosaurs and humans co-existed. I’m sorry, that’s what they believe. These people have a platform and they’re using it and we’re pointing that out. I’m very sorry for her loss and in no way mean to make light of it.

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

139 Responses to “Michelle Duggar records a message for her lost baby, includes a lot of pro life talk”

Comments are Closed

We close comments on older posts to fight comment spam.

  1. Happymom says:

    In their defense, they really do think of this as a “real person” so it’s akin to murder. I’ve always been pro-choice, but I’m not going to knock their beliefs. And I will say that when I had a cvs at 10 weeks with my last pregnancy, I was blown away during the ultrasound to see how “baby-like” the fetus looks at that point-way more developed than the “bunch of cells” that I’d always thought of. It didn’t necessarily change my pro-choice stance, but it made me more understanding of the pro-life people.

    • Celebitchy says:

      I agree that they have a right to their beliefs and I don’t knock being pro-life at all. It bothers me that they used this sad miscarriage as a way to preach about being pro-life to the public. They made this audio message public probably just for that reason and it felt wrong to me. Granted if I shared that belief I would not feel the same way, and I appreciate that.

      • Shannon says:

        I agree. I had no problem with the pictures, I even defended them. But this is just exploiting the situation to further a political agenda that devalues women and individual choice, and ignores the fact that every woman is in a unique situation and is the person best equipped to decide what is right for her. I’m very sorry the Duggars lost their baby, but that doesn’t give them some sort of moral high ground to tell other women what to do with their own bodies and it doesn’t make them experts on every woman’s situation.

  2. jc126 says:

    Disgusting famewhores. I despise them, this audio is the icing on the cake.
    The only family tragedy or event they DON’T show the world is the actual act of conceiving their numerous offspring, for which we can all be grateful.

    Oh, and to clarify, it’s not the content, it’s making public an audio message to their unborn child that disgusts me.

    Do they have the internet in Heaven?

    • asiont says:

      “Do they have the internet in Heaven?”
      That’s exactly the first question that came to my mind after reading this story.

    • Seal Team 6 says:

      Thank you thank you thank you.

      I said something very similar downthread, although you were much more succinct about it (that’s a compliment!).

    • Tiffany says:

      I completely agree with you. It is not wrong in anyway that she wanted to make a message for her child. However, it is completely wrong for her to try and use her dead child to further her fame.

      • Green Is Good says:

        jc126 says:
        December 29, 2011 at 11:45 am

        Disgusting famewhores. I despise them, this audio is the icing on the cake.
        The only family tragedy or event they DON’T show the world is the actual act of conceiving their numerous offspring, for which we can all be grateful.


        100% WORD to your statement!

  3. Mia says:

    I don’t feel it was quite as pro-life as you, I mean it definitely is, they definitely are. When I was reading it I was thinking of people who had children and then seem to regret them, blame them. For all the parent(s) haven’t done because of them, for all they give up for them rather than what their children bring into their lives.

  4. TheOriginalVictoria says:

    So what’s the difference between them having a platform about being pro-life and using their situation to detail it than pro-choicers doing the same thing.

    Oh yeah, if you don’t do what’s liberal and secular then you’re evil and the standards don’t apply.

    For me this is not about how I feel about abortion whether for or against, but the double standards and hypocrisy across the board when it comes to these things. Liberals and secular culture do the same things and employ the same tactics as their so called “enemies” on “intelligence”.

    I don’t subscribe to their particular brand of “Christianity” but I also don’t subscribe to the idea that not supporting abortion makes me a hater of women like many people try to use as a way to guilt people into supporting it.

    Same shit different street.

    It’s deliciously sad.

    • cmc says:

      The difference is pro-choicers want women to have a CHOICE between having a baby or not…it’s not “pro-abortionists”. Pro-lifers don’t just want to make their own choice- they want to make my choice for me, too. That’s much uglier, and I definitely don’t consider it “same shit, different street”.

      Pro-lifers have every right to have all of their babies, but I think it’s awful that they’d force other women that don’t want that to have kids too.

      • TheOriginalVictoria says:

        Pro-lifers mostly don’t want to make the choice for you. Pro-lifers want the hypocrisy to stop about choice when they don’t have the “choice” to not pay for them if they do not believe in it.

        How do you get to have your choice, but I can’t have mine? My taxes already go to shit that I can barely deal with, but when it comes to this topic, it’s absolutely unfair that I have to pay for something like this I might be COMPLETELY against. Where is my choice?

        Women can do whatever they want, I just hate that the “choices” are pretty much one sided. I also have an issue about how abortion is promoted in inner-city communities. I just don’t trust the government with this issue at all and believe that all abortions should be privatized. If you wanna abort your baby, use your money and not mine.

      • Franny says:

        You can use that same argument for anything that taxes pay for. I don’t want to have to pay other people’s health insurance, or for their rent, or for their food, or their crack they buy with unemployement checks. But that is what our taxes are used for.

        Also, I would much rather pay for an abortion and not have that child grow up to also need food, clothing and shelter paid for by the state. In comparison, an abortion is much cheaper than letting an unwanted child be born and raised in poverty.

      • Tiffany says:

        Your taxes do NOT go to fund abortion. That has been the law for quite some time now. Funds go to Planned Parenthood for medical services (pap smears, etc), but specifically NOT abortion.

      • Tiffany says:

        TheOriginalVictoria, it should be pointed out that it is illegal for tax dollars to go to abortion, however, tax money IS going to the Duggars because they call themselves a church. Tax Free Fame Whoring.

      • Mrs.Krabapple says:

        Well I’m pro-abortion. If pro-lifers don’t want to pay taxes to pay for abortions, why should MY taxes pay for a woman’s childbirth? Or the money it costs to raise the children?

        If society is not expected to foot the bill for abortions, they why are we expected to cover childbirth? Why not stop medical coverage for BOTH abortion and childbirth, and then let the women decide for themselves which ones they want to pay for out of pocket?

        Oh, that’s right, because the pro-life hypocrites want tax dollars or insurance companies to fund THEIR choice to have a child, not some other woman’s choice to not have one. That’s why I dislike pro-life hypocrites so much.

        And I bet Mrs. Duggar’s health insurance paid for those 19 childbirths. Yet she won’t support the insurance paying for an abortion. Selfish, selfish people.

      • Heather M (Heather) says:

        Well said, cmc!

        And well said, Franny, Mrs. Krabapple and Tiffany!

        Very well done. Couldn’t have responded better myself.

      • It is ME!! says:

        What strikes me as odd is that many (not all, mind you, but MANY) supposed “pro-lifers” talk about how they don’t want their taxes to go towards abortion (which they don’t), but have no problem with their taxes going towards the killing of women and children in places like Iraq and Afghanistan. Which do they rate as worse?

        It would be funny if it wasn’t so sad.

    • blc says:

      @TheOriginalVictoria You totally lost me with this line: “Pro-lifers mostly don’t want to make the choice for you. ”

      Are you kidding? That is a completely bullshit line. Pro-lifers (I prefer to call them anti-choicers) absolutely 100% want to make the choice for all women. They want the government to make it illegal for any woman, in any circumstance, to have an abortion. That is the very definition of them making the choice for you.

      So I either think you are completely misinformed or delusional. or both.

    • Seal Team 6 says:

      They aren’t pro-life, they are anti-choice. I refuse to let people like The Duggars frame the language.

      And, you are being so disingenuous: they DO want to make the choice for women. They want to outlaw all choice, even for women raped, even for little girls raped, even if the mother will die. Abortion is a legal medical procedure.

      • TheOriginalVictoria says:

        First off, in Philadelphia we DO pay taxes on abortions. Women who cannot afford the full cost are provided with “help” from the state. I know what I’m talking about or I would not have said it. This is state-by-state issue.

        You can take that hypocrisy s–t somewhere else. All pro-lifers do NOT feel that way about abortions with rape victims. All pro-lifers do not want to take away the woman’s choice.

        I hate when people try to come at somebody without knowing shit about anything. There are some very underhanded and sneaky tactics used in certain areas of this country when it comes to abortion and WHO gets aborted. Don’t believe me? Google it. What’s deplorable is that they use woman’s rights as a guise to “justify what they do.”

        There is nothing disingenuous about about my statements at all. Time to get of our little middle class liberal bubbles and see that the filth of hypocrisy that I POINTED OUT comes FROM BOTH SIDES OF THIS ISSUE. That was my original point.

        The Duggars if their message is about pro-choice/pro-life, which it may not be about, is famewhorey and they are using their tragedy for a cause. And that is no different than what people on the other side of the coin do when trying to prove their point.

        But no one has the f–king balls to say anything about that.

        In my life I’m all about fairness. I can’t stand to see people be blasted for shit everyone else does but because their stance is different it’s some how okay.

        I didn’t call women murderers or anything, talk shit about people who do it. All I did was say how I felt, and yet immediately I was basically called woman hater and supporter of pregnant rape victims just because I put a different view out there.

        I love when my point is proven.

        Abd U never stated whether or not I what my political affiliation or stance is. I just love it.

      • Tiffany says:

        TheOriginalVictoria, from what I have researched, you are wrong about Pennsylvania. Not only do abortions not get funded by tax payers, Pennsylvania has passed state legislation in June 2011 that says that tax funds can’t go towards health insurance plans that would cover abortions. You see the distinction between paying for an abortion and paying for health insurance, right? So not only do they not pay for the procedure in PA, but they won’t pay for insurance that might cover that procedure. They don’t fund abortion directly, and they don’t fund it indirectly.

    • nanster says:

      FYI – There are no taxpayer-funded abortions – you should get your facts straight. I agree with Seal Team 6, cmc, and blc. Pro-lifers, without question, want to push off their agenda on the rest of us. Pro-choicers only want for us to have a choice in whether we carry a pregnancy to term (or not).

    • mln76 says:

      What I find upsetting is how common it is for conservatives to protest abortion but have absolutely no desire to care for a child once it’s left it’s mothers’ body or to prevent abortions by educating women on birth control.

      • freeloveforall says:

        Min! Exactly!

      • Bec215 says:

        BRAVO! Every time I see a car with an “I vote pro-life” bumper sticker, I want to ask the driver how many children they have adopted and whether they would be in favor of increased taxes to pay for the care and education of the massive increase in orphaned children that would result from passing a law against abortion. There are already 100,000 children waiting for adoptions on any given day in the US. In short, I’m against hypocrisy, not against the pro-life position.

    • Darla says:

      @the original victoria-your rhetoric is so overwhelmingly pro-life, there is no doubt as to your political stance.

      You know what I don’t like? Crazy procreation continuing on a planet that is approaching 8 billion people. I don’t think people should be allowed more than 1 kid. But you know what, my taxpayer money goes towards paying for thousands of births a day. So I’m S–out of luck. Unfortunately, we don’t get to make the world exactly precisely like we want it to be. I pay for wars and congressional vacations and streets to nowhere and VIAGRA and all sorts of things I don’t agree with. Oh well. Maybe you should dial back your bitchy-ass “I don’t like it so you don’t do it.” and realize you are not the boss of everything.

      Have a nice day

      • TheOriginalVictoria says:

        Actually for your information I am very much pro choice. I believe no one has the right to tell anyone woman what she she should do with her body.

        I tend to stay in the center of things in most issues because I see sides form every view point.

        What I can’t stand about people is there need to be so transparent with their hypocrisy and how they look down on other people or call people names just because they don’t share he same views.

        This “rhetoric” about overpopulation and having to pay for kids “who aren’t taken care of” is all well and good, but then in the same breath you’ve got people getting mad at Kate Middleton for simply watching her family shoot some fucking birds and Reese Witherspoon carrying python bags and all upset about capital punishment.

        Like really?

        If we are a country that supposed to tolerate other people’s views then why the anger someone else’s beliefs? Why the need to make other’s feel like shit because you don’t agree.

        My point was proven in this post today: in debates like these the majority of people are hypocrites. They accuse one side of being this and that, and they are the exact same way with a different point of view. That is my ONLY point.

      • Shannon says:

        The “anger over someone else’s beliefs” comes from the fact that those beliefs seek to directly affect ME. They are not simply ideological – they could have very real consequences. These people want to make abortion illegal in all circumstances. Have you listened to their views about contraception? They believe it’s the same thing as abortion. There is a huge difference between wanting to impose your views on all women, and wanting all women to be able to choose. Those are not two sides of the same coin. One of them is directly incompatible with the rights of women. It’s not hypocritical to become upset or scared when this sort of idea is thrown about, because these people are using their political clout in an attempt to take away the right to choose, period. I KNOW that not all pro-lifers feel this way – but guess what? The ones involved in political movements do. Do you know how many personhood amendments have either been introduced or proposed? Do you realize that even in cases of ectopic pregnancy, where there is basically zero chance of the baby or woman surviving, abortion would still be made illegal? That is a travesty, and yes, every woman has the right to speak out against it. This isn’t intolerance for someone else’s beliefs. It’s protecting my own uterus. When someone else’s beliefs involve MY reproductive organs, you had better believe I’m going to vociferously object. I don’t care if that makes you feel like shit. My reproductive rights are more important than your feelings.

    • Sab says:

      I have had this exact loss, only I was farther along. I wrote her a letter, I told her I loved her, that I couldn’t wait to see her again someday, and how I wished she’d been allowed to stay a bit longer. I expressed sadness that I’d never know her, hear her voice or laughter. No one has ever seen this letter, it was from me to her. I just can’t fathom that I would have brought up how some babies are considered burdens, and are unwanted, etc…How could someone who has just lost an innocent life even think in that context? This was her message to the child she lost? If you could really speak to your lost child, if I could have, is that what I would say to her? NO! I would tell her I love her, probably over and over until I ran out of breath…I always thought these people a bit strange but to each his own. After reading this, they make me sick, and not because they have so many children. I can’t help but see agenda written all over this, and having had the same loss could never dream to…ugh! Say such things to my daughter I lost!

    • Sloane Wyatt says:

      @ TheOriginalVictoria – “Pro-lifers mostly don’t want to make the choice for you.” That’s not true or disingenuous at best.

      Most hard core far right pro lifers want to outlaw contraceptives and Plan B. Maybe you don’t, but the religious scary right, pro choice picketers are so far out there they’d outlaw masturbation if they could for the ‘sin’ of ‘onanism’.

      These types of pro choicers are often people who are in reality selfish and greedy, exactly what they preach against. Hypocrites. Were they never taught to share? Our beautiful world that we should “steward” is not meant to have every square inch covered in babies. The real truth behind the Duggards, and the fanatics like them, innocent facades is they DO want to impose their religious beliefs on everyone. In the Duggard’s ‘church’, they want to have white babies and could care less about the dying babies filling our planet.

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        I’m so mad I missed this thread. I usually avoid Duggar posts because I get agitated. Anyway, there’s nothing I could have contributed that hasn’t been stated above. Pro-Choice, always, forever. And Celebitchy proves once again to have the most thoughtful and bright commenters. Contrary to what OriginalVictoria said-I see NO hypocrisy in the debate above-just facts and logic to support one side of a very polarizing issue. I would think that would be enough to change a person’s mind or at least give them food for thought but I guess not everybody is that open-minded.

  5. cmc says:

    Mrs. Duggar, have as many children as you want and do whatever you want with your uterus. That’s your right- and it’s everyone other woman’s right to do whatever she wants with hers, too. Not all of us want 20 babies. Some of us don’t want any, at all.

    edit: deleted a bunch of my comment because I don’t feel like fighting about this today.

  6. kate says:

    WTF?? Sounds like a book on tape – Yuck!

  7. NeoCleo says:

    The loss of a child is always sad. These people are in mourning and they are also VERY self-serving. Duggar needs to extract the politicizing crap from her announcement to the world.

    The death of the child is tragic–the parents’ use of her death as a stage to proclaim their own ideology and decry that of others is despicable.

  8. WaywardGirl says:

    I’m sorry for their loss but that family creeps me the hell out.

  9. lucy2 says:

    Whatever they need to do to grieve they should do – photos, letters, etc. But it should be a private family matter, and I think releasing this stuff publicly is just wrong.

  10. RobN says:

    Unless there’s more, I’m not sure it’s even about abortion. I think it’s directed more at people who plan births when they are convenient, when they want them, when their career is in place, when they’ve got their finances where they want them, and not when God wants you to have them, than it is about abortion. I think it may be more about God’s will than it is a political statement about abortion.

    I think that many people have a bias where they are constantly looking for assaults on a woman’s right to choose, and this may be one of those situations where people are placing a meaning on these words that was never intended.

    • Mia says:

      That is totally how I read it as well.

      • blouson says:

        I think you people are all being very unfair. Her letter does not necessarily talk about abortion at all. I have 3 kids and she’s right. I routinely hear people talking about children in terms of being a financial drain or a burden. I hear PARENTS talk like that. Because, you know, they are. But I think Michelle’s point was that she sees babies as ONLY a blessing and the cost and the work are just part of the joy. She loves bbaies that much. Which would also explain why she has 20 of them. I think her swipe is at modern selfishness and a “mainstream” life of consumer advancement and smaller nucleur families. Just my take….

        On another note, that photo made me tear up. Bless.

    • Seal Team 6 says:

      Right, that is what she said, and it is an anti choice argument. You yourself just stated it was. No birth control, etc. is anti choice.

      • RobN says:

        Many people draw a distinction between birth control and abortion, primarily because more birth control leads to fewer abortions.

        Lumping everybody together as anti-choice is counter-productive. It’s not always an all or nothing proposition. There actually is a middle ground and if both sides would acknowledge it, maybe there’d be a whole lot less arguing over it.

      • Seal Team 6 says:

        The group(s) the Duggars belong to do lump it all together. Know thy enemy, and they are very much the enemy of women’s civil rights in this country (and Gays, and Muslims, and Atheists, and quite often Blacks, etal).

    • KaitX says:

      RobN- but what is wrong with waiting until you’ve established your career and finances to have a child? Personally, I don’t plan on having children until I can sufficiently provide for them! Even if this is what Duggar was saying(and I believe her letter to be pro-life) she has no right to judge people who wait until they can aptly provide for a family

  11. trtgfc17 says:

    Ok I understand that maybe they lost their good taste while grieving over the baby. I understand that the pictures were probably for the family and private purposes, not for the world.
    But seriously, they gotta stop. I wouldn’t normally say this, but maybe the baby was miscarried because her womb is stretched out bigger than a hot air balloon from all those poor people that call her “mom”…
    And don’t tell me that ALL those kids have a special and unique relationship with every last one of their siblings. This shit is starting to look like a community getting together for a swap meet. Christ!

  12. Tierra says:

    Im sorry but I really think these people do this stuff for publicity, including getting pregnant for the 100th time.
    Yes, the loss of a child is the saddest thing but they way they’ve publicized everything from the baby’s pics postmortem to this video is just a nauseating publicity stunt. I think they’re phony and I hope they’re soon removed from TV. I highly doubt they would have had as many kids as they did if it wasnt for ratings and Michelle’s addiction to the pregnancy attention, which she wouldnt have had as much of if she wasnt on TV.

  13. whatthehell456 says:

    Stop using your dead child as a platform for pro-life and publicity!!!!!!!! The fact that she made this public disgusts me. This is taking fame-whoring to the extreme. These people need to be stopped. I have lost any and all sympathy for this woman. And if she gets pregnant again I hope that she will be charged with child endangerment. She’s been told to stop breeding for the safety of herself and any future children she my conceive. Any more miscarriages is the equivalent of blood on her hands and doesn’t the Bible teach us “thou shalt not kill”?

  14. Tiffany says:

    I thought I was indifferent of this couple but now with the death of this child and the premature birth of the youngest, these two are completely and uterly selfish and dangerous. I just cannot believe no mental care expert has not spoken out about these two. So the kids are well behaved and play instruments and smile for the cameras all is right with the world. Please.

  15. Seal Team 6 says:

    Using her miscarriage as propaganda for their Quiverful agenda has reached a level beyond disgusting. The whole memorial garbage — and it was garbage — was bad enough, as was the dogwhistle name their chose.

    Private grieving is one thing, but I never for ONE SECOND thought this was real grief, but rather famewhoring and pushing their anti-choice views. As I’ve stated before, Michelle has had more than one miscarriage, but this is the only one they named and held a service for. And, also the only one that happened after their stupid TV show.

    Also, Michelle doesn’t care for her children, her daughters do. THEY are the true mothers. Michelle is just the surrogate. Yes, I mean that, because Mrs. Duggar’s actions speak louder than words. Neither she nor her husband act as true parents to these children.

    I also don’t appreciate their being able to gouge taxpayers like they do. It would be nice to actually have them pay taxes like we all have to do.

    I am as sick of these people as I am of the Kardashians. Just STFU and live your life.

  16. teri says:

    As a mother of two and one grandson this was very sad to hear a mothers heartache for her lost baby.

  17. Brittany says:

    In my opinion, every action this family has taken since the announcement of the miscarriage has been inappropriate.
    Mourn privately and appropriately, don’t make a spectacle, and certainly don’t try to make a political statement.

  18. Sarah says:

    @theoriginalvictoria there’s no such thing as tax funded abortions

    • Seal Team 6 says:

      Thank you!

    • Franny says:

      That is exactly why I get so upset when people try to cut Planned Parenthood funding. Why would you want to cut a progrm that incourages you to PLAN becoming a parent? And helping men and women take care of their health? PP is so much more than performing abortions (that are paid for 100% by donations). They provide free birth control, provide cancer screenings and provide STD testing – many times for poor and rural communities that have no where else to go. I DON’T UNDERSTAND.

      Religious beliefs should not dictate our healthcare policies.

      separation of church and state. separation of church and state. separation of church and state. separation of church and state.

      • Sarah says:

        People who say “don’t use my taxes for abortions!” are kinda the worst bc that, to me, just proves how willfully ignorant they are about the subject. Tax funded abortions are as real as tax funded margaritas every Wednesday during happy hour for everyone over 21.

      • Callumna says:

        I’m pro choice, personally. However, everyone in this country has the right to ask that their tax payer dollars NOT be used to fund abortions.

        Why should there be “conscientious objector status” for war but not birth?

      • Franny says:

        You must have missed the point where I stated that no tax money goes to paying for abortions. Or was that somehow not clear?

        Here, a handy link:


    • Tiffany says:

      You are correct, there is no tax payer funded abortion. It is very sad, however, that this crazy family doesn’t have to pay taxes because they consider themselves a church. Strange world we live in.

  19. dorothy says:

    There’s something very,very wrong with people that share a very private, very heartfelt, very personal moment on TV. To publish this poor child’s photo is very troublesome. They just reek of attention seeking, fame – hunger people. I think they have lost their way.

  20. francesca says:

    I find the letter and the photograph touching. If you feel good about what you believe, there is no shame or threat in other people expressing their own beliefs publicly or privately.

    I find it fascinating what a nerve this family strikes with so many people. I find the reactions to them much more interesting than they themselves.

    • Seal Team 6 says:

      I have a problem, a huge problem, with girls being given no real education and raised to be nothing but servants within a family, and to be taught that being a brood mare for a husband is what their value is.

      I have a real problem with their disgusting Quiverful movement, and it’s anti women, anti choice, homophobic message.

      I have a major problem with trying to take away people’s civil rights, and the right to legal medical procedures and legal birth control. And I have nothing but disgust for using a family tragedy to whore their political agenda.

      Using religion to prostitute your political agenda is a sin.

      They “touch a nerve” for the same reason the Kardashians do, because they disgust people. And, Michelle whores out her kids for money just as much as Kris Jenner does. Kris Jenner is just more honest about it. Even Dina Lohan is more honest about it.

  21. Kendall says:

    I really wish this would have been kept out of the public. I don’t find it touching, I find it a little bit weird. :/

    But, I really do think the whole memorial and everything itself was…odd. Touching, to those who were close to the family, but weird to me. And the pictures that were released were the worst of all. Why would you get pictures done with your deceased child? I don’t understand.

    • lilred says:

      I know several people who have done that(having photos taken with their deceased child)not my choice,but hey if it helps them grieve I say go for it,they however did so privately not publicly.

      • Kendall says:

        I think that’s my biggest problem with the Duggar pictures right now. I’m so sorry for their loss, and if pictures are something that give them a little more closure, than who am I to judge? But, I feel like this whole situation with this baby could have been handled privately within the family.

  22. melanie says:

    the world is overpopulated anyways..

  23. Jayna says:

    Guess what, Mr. and Mrs. Duggar, the foster care system is overloaded and many feel unloved in foster care homes. These children need a loving home with foster parents that care. I am sorry about the loss of your pregnancy, but next time why don’t you try to help throwaway children who desperately need it instead of yet another pregnancy.

    • Mrs.Krabapple says:

      They only want to HAVE children, not care for them. She passes the babies onto the older kids to care for so she can turn her attention back to having another child. Also, the way they name EVERY child with a “J” indicates a conceit and that the kids are trophies; they probably would not consider a foster child as worthy as their “own” kids. Please do not let them adopt or take in foster children.

    • Sarah says:

      But they love BABIES, and we all know children in the foster care system aren’t babies.

  24. Firecracker says:

    “Your siblings did not view you as the competition.”

    ^I find this comment strange.

  25. samira677 says:

    I’m sorry they lost their baby but they are being really over the top with all of ceremonies and messages. It seems more like publicity than mourning.

  26. alibeebee says:

    domo arigato mrs. roboto..
    this taped message sounded so robotic.. like she drank the coolaid.. very sorry for her loss.. but i will like my life and she will live hers and never we two shall meet.. 😉 i’m going to drink my coolaid now

    • fancyamazon says:

      She and her husband, and probably most of the children as well, most likely view themselves as something more than simple humans – citizens of planet earth at this point. They already believed that they were fulfilling God’s master plan for the world by trying to populate it with as many fundamentalist Christians as possible. Now with the TV publicity and what-not they probably believe that they have been elevated to something close to prophet status.

      Larger than life, as it were. It is truly hard to explain their mind-set. I have lived something close to it. The same curriculum in grade school, and complete immersion in the church lifestyle. The curriculum they use also lends itself to small private schools run inside churches. The one I attended up until grade ten had between 30-80 students dependent upon enrolment that year. So I was in church for school every mon-fri. Then there was church twice and sunday school once every sunday. There was also prayer meeting on Wednesday night, AWANA youth club on Thurs and the church’s own youth group on Fri night. Then there was prayer breakfast and the door-to-door ministry every Saturday.

      So believe me when I say I somewhat understand what is going on inside their heads. Everything they do is a decision they believe they are making outside of themselves, to extend the ministry and political philosophy that they believe God wants them to promote. And they believe that they are chosen to be an extra loud voice in the arena of ministry, because of the public platform they have been given.

      I believe personally that they do nothing that reaches the public eye with an ounce of personal emotion attached. I do think they have done some grieving privately, but no one will ever see any of it.

      The whole family is dangerous.

      • alibeebee says:

        wow is all i have to say .. I really feel a type of brainwashing has occurred.. her voice was devoid of emotion.. I know she loves her children .. but i always feel there is an agenda behind everything. I come from a religion that does not proselytize at all so I find this hard to take. I just find them off in some way.. I watch the show on rare occassion and everytime i watch michelle has these big big glassy eyes like she’s high or drugged on something. It’s like the eyes of people in CO$ dead and glassy and strange..
        So weird

    • Sloane Wyatt says:

      @alibeebee – Love the ‘Alan Parson’s Project’ reference!

  27. Mrs.Krabapple says:

    When they had their first miscarriage, they blamed it on birth control and decided to “leave it in the hands of God.” So are they going to blame God now? I doubt it, because they are friggin hypocrites.

    I think the parents are mentally disturbed, and collect children the way crazy people collect cats. She is so obsessed with HAVING children that she passes the babies onto the older children to care for, so she can turn her attention back to having another.

    I also don’t think it’s right to whore out your uterus for reality tv. How is that any different from full-on prostitution? Seriously, these people are prostitutes, procreating for tv ratings and perks.

  28. mln76 says:

    I am predicting this won’t be the last of these public miscarriages I am not wishing that on her it’s just her body is done with having children but her mental illness (I refuse to even call it religion) prevents her from realizing it. She’ll just keep trying until menopause finally sets in and if she brings another baby into this world with crippling birth defects so be it right?

    • dorothy says:

      I totally agree. I just wish, like the other commenter stated that a psychiatrist would speak out on these people regarding her apparent mental illness. Perhaps she could get some help.

    • Sara says:

      Sadly I think you’re right. She’s at an age where if she keeps getting pregnant she’s going to have more and more complications and probably lose more babies or have children with developmental problems.

      • Seal Team 6 says:

        She was told before Josie not to have any more children, that it could harm her, but would especially harm the baby.

    • Bec215 says:

      They’re not mentally ill in the traditional sense of the word – but they do belong to a cult that worships children… it’s called “Quivefull” – google it and see what I mean. It is a small but fanatical group that claims the way to get into God’s good graces is by having as many children as possible. It’s sick – it’s Christianity twisted to fit someone’s agenda.

  29. LeManda says:

    I’m done with all these TLC “freak show” style shows. I removed TLC from my channel selection a week or so ago. I feel my braincells coming back…slowly…

  30. hillbilly in the corner says:

    Sorry but this is so wrong on so many levels…..I don’t like this family . They use the family their relgion and their lifestyle for gain…..they are no better then any of the other reality familys on tv..they sell their life for profit… So wrong !!

  31. Jess says:

    The sickest, most pathetic thing? The part where she says that when people ask her how many children she has has been EDITED from the original! Originally, it said she would answer “20, 19 on earth and one in ehaven”. Then she realized people were asking about the early miscarriage and why she wasn’t counting that baby, so che CHANGED it to what you see above. Sick famewhores.

  32. Hellen says:

    These people really need to just shut up and get out of the public eye. This SHOULD BE a private, family issue and they’ve turned it into a 3-ring Famewhore Circus. I have sympathy for them in their loss, but it’s becoming quickly diluted by disgust at their determination to constantly display it in public with no end in sight.

  33. NM9005 says:

    Seal Team 6, cmc and so many others already said what I wanted to say. Couldn’t say it any better.

  34. ManicPixieDreamGirl says:

    I will never understand women who breed like this. It’s very irresponsible, in my opinion. What if something were to happen to her or the father. Who is going to take care of the 19 kids? People say its her religion, but I think it’s some kind of mental problem.

  35. e.non says:

    disgusting narcissists …

  36. Lauren says:

    The picture is enough for me..cannot bear to listen to the audio. Maybe this is some way of honouring the miscarried baby. I could never hold my dead baby`s hand, or share it with the world. I do not think the Duggar`s are famewhores. Possibly trying to send a message that abortion is sinful. Problem is, most children do not have a secure future with two parents that are devoted to them-financially & emotionally. Michelle is a sweet lady, but is brainwashed beyond our understanding.

  37. Darla says:

    Man, it is hard core to rinse off a dead baby and pimp her out for your crazy arse idolatry. Beyond gross.

  38. Nanea says:

    So often in society babies are looked upon as a … responsibility, but God says babies are a blessing.

    These people have no idea what they are talking about.

    So it is bad to feel responsible for a child? Is that why are giving the younger ones away to the older kids to look after because don’t want to be responsible themselves for raising their kids???

    We do not believe that babies are a bother, a headache or…

    Of course they don’t. Because they themselves don’t look after their kids, as they have created their own indentured laborers to cope with that

    We do not believe that babies are a… a financial drainer or a career interrupter.

    No, they wouldn’t. Because their reality show pays for the kids’ upbringing, the reality show before that made sure they got a house, and the fact that JimBob had some sort of political office that pays for the health insurance, and I highly doubt Michelle has ever had any sort of career other than breeding. I’m waiting for the day a female Duggar gets fired for getting pregnant again – oh, wait, people like them don’t have careers because their fundamentalism frowns on people who do their own thinking.

    • Seal Team 6 says:

      They also have incorporated their home and land as a non-profit “church,” and get tens of thousands of dollars of child tax credit on their Federal income tax. WE support THEM.


      Nice post.

  39. Sara says:

    It sounds like she’s using her sadness as a medium to push her pro-life stance.

    I don’t see the connection between the two. I’m really pro-choice but if I had a miscarriage I’d be devastated. Just because I’m at the point in my life where I want to have children. I think having kids should be a choice and people should be ready and really really want to be parents.

    19 weeks is a horrible time to lose a baby. Your body has already been through so much. Still… it wouldn’t make me not believe in abortion anymore.

  40. baness says:

    I wonder if Michelle ever stopped to consider that sometimes women have abortions for reasons other than thinking that their babies are a “burden or a bother”. Some choose to terminate a very wanted pregnancy due to chromosomal or genetic conditions that might be incompatible with life. I am very sorry for her loss, but she should be thankful she didn’t have to carry a very sick baby to term or experience a stillbirth.

  41. kay says:

    I can;t help but think if they meant it, they would not have released any tape.
    and squashed the pictures if they could.
    by bringing it up over an over, if does feel to me, they are cashing in.
    any natural sympathy I might feel is just vacant.

  42. TheOriginalVictoria says:

    I have no idea what the hell is going on but I got an email alert on my phone from a member I’m cool with saying someone was posting stuff on here that didn’t sound like me. And I am literally like just walking in the door now to set the record straight.

    For the record, I have a full house with relatives over for holidays and it was one of my cousins who posted her opinion under my name when I left my computer Screen Name up. And the reason why I know it’s her dumb ass is because on the way home, I read where she said abortion is payed for by the people in PA, and I know for a fact that is NOT true. Insurance doesn’t even cover abortions here I think. She frequents this site regularly though we discussed this issue when she brought up the post to me in the afternoon before I left to run errands and the conversation was HEATED. And we argued about this very fact regarding who pays for these things and she refused to believe me. I didn’t even enter this thread, because I really didn’t feel like reading about dead people as this is around the time my husband passed away as well as my grandmother.

    Second, while I do not support abortion for myself I am a thousand percent pro-choice since I dare someone to tell me that what I can and can’t do with my body. And that is all I will ever say about that matter ever.

    I come from a pretty religious family and we share a lot of the same ideals about fairness and equality when it comes to our religious and secularist views, but this is one topic we do not agree on at all and I am literally one of two people who is pro-choice in my family.

    The only thing I agree with in her illogical postings is about the hypocrisy of both sides which I have spoken about and THAT is all. SHE IS NOT PRO-CHOICE and I don’t appreciate her sullying my reputation on here under my name and claiming to be so when posting bullsh0t facts. I would like to think people know on these boards well enough to know I can articulate myself a bit better than that. I apologize for the confusion and hope this doesn’t cause future problems with my posting.

    This is also why I changed my screen name this morning because another Victoria popped up a few days ago posting on all of my posts and I wanted to make the distinction.

    • Shannon says:

      So you’re telling me someone pushing a pro-life message engaged in deception, outright lied about facts that are easily accessed, insisted on being in denial about reality and called everyone else a hypocrite? Shocking. I suppose in her head, the end justifies the means. Sorry your account was hijacked, I’m sure that’s going to be an awkward conversation with your cousin. Isn’t family great?

      • TheOriginalVictoria says:

        My family is the type that I only entertain once a year. And that’s on Christmas.

        This particular cousin, and I spoke of her on here before in a Gisele thread is a self hating, backstabbing, holier-than thou meathead. We can’t stand one another but the only reason why I even let Tiffany come was because her mother begged me since her “prince” of a baby daddy didn’t want her or their daughter around for the holidays and she’s basically homeless.

        So when I walked in and confronted her about it she was like, ‘Bitch you mad over that? You shouldn’t leave your computer open if you’re that pressed about people you don’t know.”

        Needless to say she wasn’t welcomed to tonight’s family outing or my home ever again. Is it wrong to kick out mother and child?

    • Tiffany says:

      Wow, family members can be a pain! Hang in there. 🙂

    • whatthehell456 says:

      I apologize for mentally slapping some sense into you earlier 🙂

    • Sloane Wyatt says:

      @TheOriginalVictoria, I am so sorry for the loss of your husband and grandma. The holidays are rough enough, and you don’t deserve this violation of your privacy.

      You are not wrong to kick a mom out for essentially identity theft. It sounds like you for sure feel violated, and I hope you get your credit cards, etc., banking online, secure. Cousin Crazy Pants needs to not be in your life because she is the definition of toxic family member.

  43. Sloane Wyatt says:

    The Duggars are entitled to their opinion and to express it however they want, EXCEPT they will not be allowed to overthrow our constitutional right of separation of church & state, etc.

    I realize the Ameritaliban would like to have some sharia like laws for the U.S., and would love to deny rights to same sex couples, pregnant women, and to deny even contraceptives, for pete’s sake! IMO, the far right religious extremists have quite a bit in common when it comes to fringe Muslims.

    All the Muslim people I know are beautiful and accepting of our differences. My Muslim, Christian, Agnostic, etc., friends have all at various times dropped everything to help others, and have shown me their inner character and love by helping me too. My point is these religious and extremists of any stripe, including non religious political zealots are dangerous to all of us, make no mistake.

  44. Mitch Buchanan Rocks says:

    Just waiting for the first Duggar to escape and do some pron, that would make big $$$.

  45. april says:

    very sad, I feel the heartbreak in the words. I wont say anything about her. maybe putting it out there makes sense in her head somehow, I dont think I would though. I like to believe she chooses to do things for reasons that seeem right to her, not because of fame. I hope so, but regardless, I feel so bad for what happened.

  46. Kelly says:

    OK, here’s my issue with what she said about how SOME people regard babies as a bother, but GOD doesn’t, LOL. That was facetious, but now I’m being dead serious. I think it’s way better if people who can’t handle babies don’t have them. I’m not going to run off a list of babies who have experienced the torments of the damned during their short, wretched lives, but not a week goes by that I don’t read a story about a baby or toddler who has been tortured to death – burned, limbs broken, raped, internal organs ruptured. I believe in choice, I believe in human rights, but I do NOT believe that people who are basically subhuman should be allowed to breed and then beat their children to death. Parents who have had children taken away due to abuse go on to have more children, whom they abuse and sometimes kill.

    I’d even go so far as to say that these people should be forcibly sterilized. I can’t say I believe people should be forced to abort, because that’s horrific. But if you are that fucked up a human being, we as a society shouldn’t allow you to have more babies who will suffer.

    So take that, Michelle. God sure is not taking care of those babies.

    • judyjudy says:

      Thank you for saying this. I get so tired of people saying that everything is “God’s will” or “God’s plan”. If raped and abused babies and children are part of the plan, I want nothing to do with it.

      • Kelly says:

        I don’t want any part of it either. Obviously this is one of my soapbox issues…

        In fact, those who are “pro-life” not only don’t care about children after they are born in terms of nutrition, adequate housing, education, etc., but they also don’t care whether those children’s emotional needs are met, let alone whether they are abused. One might argue that we need MORE support for abortion, better pre-partum education including abortion counseling – which just might ensure that the children who are actually born are wanted, and taken care of. Of course then we get into a very shady moral area, but I just don’t know how to avoid that.

      • Seal Team 6 says:

        Kelly —

        You’re my new BFF.

  47. Mia girl says:

    While I am sad for the loss of their baby (I had at miscarriage at 16 weeks, so I can relate), i have to wonder, what else can this public display of grief be than some type of attention driven act meant to get press as well as appease their audience?

    Really, their is little difference between what the Kardashians do and what the Duggars do…
    They are all exhibitionists thriving on their life in the limelight. Leaving aside their faith/beliefs, the Duggars appear to be leveraging/exploiting their loss just as Kim exploited her marriage. With all these years on tv, the Duggars are just as aware of ratings and how to draw in audience as Mama Jenner is. This is truth.

    At least the Kardashians pay taxes on their earnings.

    • Tiffany says:

      “Really, their is little difference between what the Kardashians do and what the Duggars do…
      At least the Kardashians pay taxes on their earnings.”

      BAM! Best comment of the day!

      • judyjudy says:

        Actually, the Kardashians filter a large portion of their earnings through their own church to avoid paying taxes. Kris Jenner founded her own church to be used as a tax shelter. Yes, that’s right, Kris Jenner has her own church. Nice, hunh?

      • Mia girl says:

        Omg I just googled and you are right!!! Kris Jenner cofounded a church with a former asst pastor of Rick Warren. The Ks give 10% of their earnings to the church!

        Well, this just further supports my original comment “There is little difference between what the Kardashians do and what the Duggars do” To add, they both combine God and sex and tv.

  48. sabine says:

    These people are annoying. Baby obsessed. Attention grabbers. Take care of the kids you already have. They are raising eachother

  49. jc126 says:

    You know what I keep thinking about this spectacle, which as I’ve said my problem is with the public, downright creepy famewhore audio, not so much the obvious pro-life message? It’s the bit about how some people think babies are a burden “so often in society”. It reminds me of the way polygamous cult members talk about how the rest of society is a den of iniquity and how everyone’s committing adultery blah blah. In other words, this language makes Michelle Duggar sound like she’s in a cult.

  50. Cinderella says:

    Of course Michelle doesn’t view babies as career-enders. She’s made a career out of having a bunch.

  51. tinyour says:

    This is not a debate forum

  52. skuddles says:

    All I know is I’m super sick of this nutso family (well parents) and wish they’d shut up and go away for good.

  53. Lithe says:

    I find that I cannot muster up the slightest bit of sympathy for the Duggar parents. The baby, yes, but not the parents.

  54. sauvage says:

    The message does not sound like it was intended for the baby they lost but like pure propaganda and like she is defending their lifestyle. It makes me really uncomfortable because part of me does not want to pick on someone who just lost a child, another part of me feels that this is pure attention seeking and milking the hell out of their loss for publicity reasons. Not likeable.

  55. Erandyn says:

    Why are you apologizing for your stance, CB? Do the Duggars apologize for theirs? Do they say “sorry” every second sentence in case they offend someone with different beliefs to theirs? No, they do not. Think about it.

  56. Mourning the Death of Music says:

    “We do not believe that babies are a bother, a headache or a financial drainer or a career interrupter.”

    There are so many shades of wrong with this sentence.

    To start with, of course you wouldn’t think of your baby as a burden, when you have a whole other host of older children to raise it.

    Of course you don’t find it to be a financial drainer or a career interrupter, because having babies is how you’re making your money via a tv show.

    I’m not even going to go anywhere near the rest of what she says while on her soapbox guised as a letter to her lost unborn child.


  57. Amanda says:

    Why oh why did she have to turn this into a political message?

  58. Jennifer says:

    I knew it. I knew they’d turn this into a political message. This is what the Duggars view as their responsibility to “redeem” the pain they’ve gone through, turn it into a witnessing and pro-life “baby saving”, putting women back into their place testament. Shine “God’s light” to unbelievers and such. DON’T mistake Michelle Duggar or her husband as simpletons. Fundamentalist Christians, especially the leaders and those turninga profit off their lifestyle, are on a mission. They deliver every message as “nicely” as possible, but trust, delivering their message is central to what they feel is their “duty” as Christians in order to be a “good witness” at least, and produce social changes at most. I came from a family like the Duggars’ and I know.

  59. Jennifer says:

    p.s I love babies too and yes they are a financal burden if you don’t have much money to start with! BUt the Duggars have declared their family a “church” and live tax free.
    Growing up, I knew very few, maybe one, finacially solvent (at best) Quiverfull families.

    The Duggars are rare. They have a nice, big house, and many new-looking things, etc.

    So easy for her to say babies are not a financial burden, but irresponsible for her to say.
    I have known several Quiverfull moms, left by their husbands – they were poor to start with even with the husband and now they are unable to live without extreme outside help. Their lives are full of stress, need. Yes children are wonderful, priceless. BUT refuting the financial burden a child brings to a (not rich) family is irresponsible.

    And EVERY Quiverfull family I’ve ever known lives in a thrifty way! It has nothing to do with people living beyond their means. Even with extreme thrift as your lifestyle, a child is costly …many children and adding new ones endlessly, and all the thrift in the world doesn’t change the fact each kid needs three squares a day and a roof over their heads at a minimum.

  60. Isabel says:

    I am from The Netherlands and had never heard of these people before. They sound like a scary bunch! From across the ocean I am getting very concerned about the worsening position of women’s rights in the US.

    Unfortunately I myself was raised a pretty fundamentalist Christian. We were taught that birth control is wrong, for humans are meant to breed, as it says in Genesis. Planning your children was a heavy issue, for children are a ‘gift’, not something you yourself decide on taking on. The pill was wrong, for it prevents the fertilized egg from nestling in which made it almost as bad as abortion. Sounds a lot like the stuff being said by those pro-lifers. What gets me most however is the often-heard opinion that pro-choicers see abortion as emergency birth control. I do not believe that a pregnant woman ever lightly chooses to abort. But even if she did, it is still her body and her choice.

    This woman’s little speech is explicitly about planning, not sure she is speaking about abortion but she definitely hints at it. More to the point, she sees both as much the same thing, which reminds me of my Christian upbringing more than feels comfortable to me.

    So hang in there ladies, be the boss of your own bellies (as the Dutch pro-choice phrase was in the ’70s) !