Lindsay Lohan drunkenly (surprise) crashed Katy Perry’s skating party

Katy Perry

Katy Perry hosted a party at a skating rink, y’all. Doesn’t that sound just like her? Roller skating boasts about the same level of whimsy as riding a basketed bicycle and making out with John Mayer, so Katy was right at home, I imagine. The party was held to celebrate the birthday of her (also whimsical) stylist, Johnny Wujek, and everything was going great until someone made the unfortunate decision to allow Lindsay Lohan, who was not on the guest list, into the bash. Apparently, Lindsay started drunkenly skating around in a mad effort to get close to Katy and have people take photographs, which would somehow prove that Lindsay is still relevant. Nice try, crackhead on wheels. This isn’t a photo of Lindsay at the party, but this is how I like to imagine she looked regardless:

Lindsay Lohan

“Keep that train wreck away from me!”

A furious Katy Perry shouted that order after bisexual bad girl Lindsay Lohan tried to latch onto her at a recent roller skating pery hosted by the singer.

Things spiraled out of control quickly at the Glendale, Calif., rink during a July 14 party the 27-year-old threw for her friend, stylist Johnny Wujek.

Lindsay showed up uninvited and “dressed like a bag lady” at the ’90s-themed bach, said a Hollywood insider. “She started acting really weird. She refused to talk to anyone and she kept following Katy around, trying to take a photo with her. Katy told friends, ‘I think she may be drunk, so PLEASE keep her away from me!'”

But it got worse as the 26-year-old Mean Girls star — who’s been in rehab at least five times — began catching up to Katy as they skated around the rink.

“Lindsay was hell on wheels!” said the insider. That’s when, in utter desperation, the singer turned to a staffer and shrieked about keeping that “train wreck” off her back.

“Katy has a lot on her mind since splitting from Russell Brand, and the last thing she needs is more drama in her life — especially Lindsay Lohan drama,” said the insider. “She hates to hurt people’s feelings, but she’s the first one to tell you she’s avoiding all ‘Debbie Downers’ — and Lindsay was reeking of negativity. She finally took the hint and left.”

[From Enquirer, print edition, August 8, 2012]

Isn’t that weird how it was a 1990s-themed party too? I’ve always thought of roller skating as a 1980s sort of thing, but that’s probably because that’s when I was young enough to want to go to a skating rink. You know, “Careless Whisper” and whatnot.

As for Lindsay’s obvious and pathetic need for approval from a fellow celebrity — any fellow celebrity will do — this is a typically desperate move. Good for Katy for totally shuting her down too, which is perhaps the only time I will every applaud anything Katy does. It’s worth mentioning that Katy has been known to hang with some shady characters, so it’s nice to know that she has some standards as far as companions go.

Katy Perry

In (now-)vaguely-related Katy news, this week’s Enquirer has a story about how Russell is, like, totally serious about his latest busty-brunette girlfriend, Isabella Brewster, and wants to have babies with her because she “seems like the real deal and a real keeper,” and “it’s great that she really wants to have kids too.” C’mon, he’s not going to move that fast after making a hasty decision to marry Katy, right?

Russell has also accepted a deal with the New Orleans District attorney to pay $500 in court fees and do 20 hours of community service for the incident in which he allegedly smashed a pap’s iPhone into a Nawlins shop window. Part of the deal was a “not guilty” plea, which will prevent him from getting into hot water related to his past drug incidents outside of the states. Rusty plans on doing his community service hours by working with addicts. Good plan.

Katy Perry

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet

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35 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan drunkenly (surprise) crashed Katy Perry’s skating party”

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  1. paola says:

    I am just wondering.. will these two ever grow up?

  2. SmokeyBlues says:

    It’s a sad day when a classless twit like KP is too cool to be seen with you. Of the two, I prefer Lohan. And I feel like we may get some hard news about her soon. It’s very sad.

  3. brin says:

    No one is safe when Crackie crashes a party.

  4. Dorothy#1 says:

    Seriously though, that looks like fun, right???

    • spacey says:

      A bunch of drunk people on roller skates?

    • DogGirl says:

      Yes! I’ve always wanted to have a party at the roller rink playing the tunes we skated to in the early 80’s. With a full bar of course.

      • Christian says:

        I agree, it would be fun to have a private skate party with a full bar. Good times! I want to believe this story is true because the image of Lilo crashing into things on skates is hilarious, but no pics? No crack-fueled Twitter updates from LL?

  5. Jules says:

    The only thing either of these no talent bimbos are known for are their boobs. I suppose if that’s all you are known for, then that’s how you act.

  6. IzzyB says:

    I like the roller skating party idea, it’s different and looks fun for everyone, unlike the normal drunken ragers.

    Sorry, I feel old and far too sober for last nights party. When did blackout drunk become the only way to have fun? I’m still cleaning puke off my shoes.

  7. lucy2 says:

    Everything about that is 80s, not 90s.

    Lindsay was on wheels? I’m assuming she crashed multiple times, complained the brakes went out, skate-jacked other people’s shoes, and complained the paparazzi were chasing her.

    • Boo says:

      I just imagine her running around in her high heels, chasing other people who are on skates. It’s way more amusing, if tragic, that way.

      • the original bellaluna says:

        😀 *waves at Boo* That was too funny!

      • Boo says:

        Hey Bella! Nice to see you, sweetie! 😀

      • Relli says:

        Ha ha that is exactly how i was imagining it too! I cant believe i almost missed this story, this might be the best story of “bisexual bad girl Lindsay” ever!

  8. Fay says:

    Uh, I’m sure this is true. But let’s get real here. Katy has no problem partying with Lindsay in private. But she doesn’t want anyone to know that. Face it people Markus is Katy’s top BFF and he is often found at the scene of the crime when the Lohan gets in trouble. Remember when she was in Europe and her passport disappeared? Guess who was there. I don’t blame Katy, but getting caught out as part of the Lohan scene is all about her keeping up appearances. Katy should really get a better set of friends.

  9. Mia says:

    “bisexual bad girl Lindsay”?! Who wrote this breathtaking recap? LOL

  10. nettie says:

    I now have the mental image of Lohan on wheels circling that roller rink again and again in pursuit of Perry…i imagine Perry felt like she was being chased by a drug fueled tornado. But she’s no angel with drugs either i hear…

  11. Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

    I haven’t read this yet, but I kinda laughted at the fact that there was a speck of dirt on my screen that managed to cover a chunk of LL’s mouth and thinking it authentic I didn’t flinch at the thing that I thought was a sore. THIS time she’s clean.

  12. hmm says:

    Um If Lindsay was there why are there no pics?

    • Byte Me says:

      Exactly. I was wondering the same thing. Was Lindsay really at this party?
      I have to say, I do hope this story is true.

  13. wilkiecollins says:

    When did proofreading die and typos become the norm. I find it so aggravating sure in a posted comment and with smart phones, but really in a published journal. I wish this was the first time I’ve noticed it.

    • thyphoid mary says:

      Ditto! So glad you pointed it out. Spellcheck is a great tool, just like Tom Cruise…lol

  14. Toni says:

    Don’t buy it. Katy and Lindsay are friends and have a dealer, err friend in common named Marcus Molinari. Katy even hooked Lilo up with an outfit when she had that alcohol monitor attached to her ankle.

  15. the original bellaluna says:

    So, nobody told Blohan that if she just stopped skating or slowed way down, KP would have to pass her? Apparently, the most basic laws of physics escape her.

    I don’t know why that surprises me, but it does.

  16. DeeDee says:

    That story about Russell marrying Isabella may be true. She comes from a fancy family, is well educated, shares his interests, and seems like his type physically and is low maintenance. They look alike. And if she has no career then she’d be willing to do the wife and mother thing. I think she should be the one making sure it’s the right decision for her rather than the other way around. I wouldn’t marry a man who married Katy Perry and keeps telling all and sundry about how much he still loves her and only divorced her because she wouldn’t give up her career and have babies. If Russell thinks Katy would have made a good mother, then he has serious judgement problems. Plus do we really think he’d be faithful to anyone? Who wants a marriage like that?

  17. BRE says:

    Ahh your are bringing back memories of Friday nights at the ring (in the 80s) with my hair crimped and trying to couples skate (backwards for the girl)

  18. skuddles says:

    Hell on wheels…. too perfect 😉

  19. derby girl says:

    for those that expressed interest — several major cities have public rollerskating parties with retro music, costume themes, and alcohol…they’re actually a blast:

  20. Anonymous says:

    The tone of this article is so mean. Lindsay’s situation is sad. It sounds like she was rejected when she was trying to connect to someone and she didn’t do anything wrong. Sad. Bashing someone who has so many problems in a situation like this is cruel. And applauding Katy Perry for avoiding someone? The person who wrote this has zero compassion.

  21. SFR says:

    Skating parties seem to becoming the latest thing. Our local roller skating ring is booked solid now with private parties. Hopefully the booze will not lead to a spate of accidents leaving the local council no choice but to close it down. Celebs like these two seem to be setting a new trend.