Lindsay Lohan: “I still don’t think it was a bad thing that I was going out a lot”

On Wednesday, we had some excerpts from Lindsay Lohan’s epic crack-delusional Us Weekly interview. Now the new issue is out, and I just read the full interview with my mouth hanging open. This crackie!!!!! I cannot emphasize enough how ridiculous she is, how self-absorbed, how stupid, how delusional, how crazy, how crackie she is. She delivers crack lie after crack lie, crack obfuscation after crack obfuscation, crack denial after crack denial, all with a breezy crack attitude. The Cracken is living in her own little world where she’s a major movie star who just had a spot of bother with the law, but the law was unfair because nothing is ever her fault, ever. MOVIE STAR! Here are some more highlights:

How she’s feeling: “I’m happy. I just did three movies in a row and I’m not even tired. I want to do the next one. It took a while to get back to that.”

On fighting with her mom and having a phone call recorded by her father: “That night will always be my one regret because it hurt my siblings and my mom. It’s unfortunate that I can’t call my dad when I fight with my mom. That’s fine. Whatever. I’ll call my brother. He’s not going to edit the conversation and put it out in public.”

Living her life in front of the camera: “Since I was a kid, I’ve loved being on camera. Don’t misconstrue that: I didn’t strive to have flashbulbs at dinner or people who don’t know me calling TMZ. And 99% of the time, it’s not true. I feel bullied. Even when I colored my hair, tabloids said I was going crazy. I wanted a different hair color! I can’t think of any actor who has been subjected to such extreme publicity who hasn’t, like, committed suicide.”

Being in a relationship with a woman: “I was bold enough to say, ‘Yeah, I like a girl. And?’ That put her in a situation where she was being attacked every day. That’s not fair. And what am I left with? Heartbreak. That was three years ago. It was my last serious relationship.”

On Samantha Ronson: “I need to love myself first before I could be with anyone else, and I was going through a lot. Two toxic people cannot be together. End of story. We’re friends now. That’s how it started so I think that’s how it was meant to be.”

When things went out of control: “I was a teenager and everything I did was on the news. I would have been in college then. I’m not defending it because I chose to be in the public eye. But it got exhausting. I still don’t think it was a bad thing that I was going out a lot. When I got in trouble, I owned up to it.”

Nothing is her fault: “Kids go through ups and downs, try cigarettes, drugs and drinking. It’s human nature. It took a while but it’s like, What was I thinking? Why did I allow so many sycophants and bad influences to be around me? I was lonely and I didn’t realize it. That’s why I came back home to New York. I never feel lonely there. I can see my family and I have really good people in my life.”

People selling her out: “It feels like sh-t. I’m so naïve. But I had to learn the hard way. Recently, I found out one of my close friends was giving a detailed account to a newspaper of what I was doing all the time. In the past, I would probably still be hanging out with that person. Now it’s like, No, I’ve been busting my ass and I’m happy and doing well, so get the hell out of my life.”

Her punishment (jail & community service) for probation violation: “I’m not going to go there because people might take my answer in different ways. But a punishment is a punishment and I take responsibility for my actions when I’m wrong. I was raised that way by my mom. I turned myself in. A lot of that decision had to do with the public because they’re not going to stop until they see me behind bars.”

How she’s doing with “her issues” now: “I’m great. Elizabeth was drunk on sets. I’ve never been drunk on set, ever. I did my time and I respect the law.”

After she says she wants to adopt a son, she’s told “girls are harder”: “Yeah, I don’t want to deal with a mini-me!”

Her Oscar: “I’m not focused on [love] yet. I want to do a ton of movies first. After I win an Oscar, I can start thinking about love. I said to my agents recently, ‘Just keep me on set because that’s where I’m happiest.’ When I get a movie, I appreciate it like I did before all this sh-t happened.”

Being trusted again: “I’m grateful. I think there are a lot of directors and producers who know I’m a good actress. I just want them to get past the misconception that I’m not reliable, because I am. I’m going to make them believe in me again.”

[From Us Weekly, print edition]

Can you even believe this? Casually mentioning suicide, chalking up the past six years of crack shenanigans to just being an experimental kid, blatantly lying about how professional she is, blatantly lying about taking responsibility for everything that happened while a moment later saying none of it was her fault…? Creating straw-man arguments for why she’s being “bullied,” acting like the legal system is out to get her, acting like a crack martyr. THIS BITCH. I can’t.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

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155 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan: “I still don’t think it was a bad thing that I was going out a lot””

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  1. Dani says:

    I might be the only one who thinks this (okay I know I am) but I think she’s really trying to get her life together in some bizarre way. She grew up two towns away from me and I know a lot of people who know her and have recently seen her and a lot of them say she’s trying, but you never know. I do wish she did though, because I genuinely enjoyed some of her movies.

    • femmefataleonamission says:

      Agreed. I feel she’s talented when sober, and I miss seeing her being amazing. The ruined Lindsay just makes me sad and want to give her soup and a guest room.

      • OhMyMy says:

        8 Ball Stew or Cream of Crack soup?

      • Lamb says:

        I honestly don’t know why people always say that “she is so talented, if only she could get her life together.” What exactly has she done that makes people think she’s an amazing actress with a crack problem? Was it Herbie Fully Loaded, Freaky Friday, Mean Girls? I can’t think of a single thing she has done where I thought she had any range whatsoever as an actress. Please respond to me and tell me where this hidden talent can be found because I am baffled!!

      • Liz says:

        There are now actresses in Hollywood – Emma Stone, Jennifer Lawrence, for example – with reputations intact and acclaimed talent who any serious director will approach before Lindsay Lohan. Her name associated with a project instantly brings it down a notch.

      • Tommy says:

        I actually think LiLo was pretty exceptional in Freaky Friday.

      • Dani says:

        Lamb – she was really good in Georgia Rule, came out in 2007 with Jane Fonda.

      • whatthehell456 says:

        Sitting with a Cracktini and watching the train wreck that is Liz & Dick right now….Oh God, this is something close to blasphemy.

    • Palefire says:

      I agree. I think almost everything she said was clear headed and a fair real assessment of her life. Besides the Oscar thing. She should just focus on being a stable person. Not shooting for an Oscar. Not to sound mean but she isn’t a Oscar type actress. She’s more of a entertainer type person. It’s like a pop star v a opera singer. Ones not better than the other just different. No one knows what it’s like to grow up in her family and the way she had to. If your own parents are abusive enablers @ the end of the day that see you as a paycheck and not a person that sucks! And honestly maybe shes been brought down a peg and realizing life lessons that we all do after the fun young days pass and we enter the real world. It’s a shame that she’s a joke to everyone no one knows how it must feel to be a joke or ridiculed on that public of a scale. I’m tired of being mean about this. Originally this is why I always came on this site. Now it just feels like kicking someone when they are down. I just feel bad for her or anyone that doesn’t have love or good people in their life.

  2. Anna says:

    “After I win an Oscar” yeah, right.

    • Amelia says:

      You know, I think you’re dismissing Ol’ Crackie too easily.
      I genuinely think she could do it. She could totally go the distance and pull an Oscar out the bag.
      I find your comment rather hurtful to be perfectly honest, now if you’ll excuse me, I have to polish my Nobel Prize for Theoretical Physics before taking my pig out for flying lessons.

      • Hubbahun says:

        Hahah brilliant! 😀 xx

      • Veruca says:

        @Amelia —

        I don’t think I’ve told you how many days you’ve made with comments like that. Thank you.

        What’s the pig’s name?

      • Lady D says:

        LMAO @ “What’s the pig’s name?”

      • Amelia says:

        Thank you Veruca 🙂 I’m just here to spread Delusions of Crack.
        The pig’s name? Boris.
        He moved here from Russia after the revolution in his barnyard. His pigsty destroyed, he travelled with his family in search of a better life in the West.
        Currently, he’s at the bottom of the garden plotting with Aleksander the meerkat how to overthrow the crazy, hedonistic tyrant who currently rules over his new barnyard – the evil horse known only as … Leann.
        There are thrice daily prayers to some moron called Eddie and shrines set up around the farm of some looney woman constantly posing for photos.
        The future looks bleak for Boris and co at the moment.
        Godspeed little piggy. Godspeed.

      • Tara says:

        Amelia: your version of Animal Farm made my day. Thank you!

      • Cindy says:

        Where the hell is the like button? Not even like, I love you, your comments, and Boris. =)

      • nada says:

        @ ‘She could totally go the distance and pull an Oscar out the bag.’
        Sure – THE ONE she stole from someone else and stuck it in her bag beforehand.

    • HotPockets says:

      To give the cracken some credit, she might have been on the right path a few years ago after “A prairie home companion,” but as soon as she started bumping dirties with Paris Hilton, forget it. She did win some razzies for “I know who killed me,” I think that’s the best she can do at this point.

      • bettyrose says:

        If memory serves, she was a nightmare on the set of Prairie Home Companion and routinely help up production. And her part wasn’t even all that important.

    • Stuart Horsely says:

      “I respect the law.” Yeah, right. I’m sure that stolen fur coat would agree. The stolen fur coat that she put a cigarette burn in. Get lost, Freckle Tits, you’re the biggest loser on the planet.

    • Lo says:

      Liz & Dick is finally airing next week here in Sweden!
      Can’t wait to see her Oscar-worthy performance LOL

    • The Original Genevieve says:

      Hahaha, seriously.

      I hate to disappoint those who are still rooting for Lindsay. I used to be one of you, and not that long ago. I agree 100% with Kaiser’s summation:

      “THIS BITCH. I can’t”.

  3. Lexi says:

    Lolol I died when I read “This crackie!!!!!!”

    This girl is legit cray. Also, she wasn’t even all that great of an actor back in the day anyway. Ok, Parent Trap was awesome. But besides that, I think her acting range was always limited. Ugh what a crackhead mess, she is a whole new definition of delusional.

    • michkabibbles says:

      AGREED! it always kills me when i hear people say “but she was so talented…”. no she wasn’t! she was a beautiful girl with a lot of charisma, and average talent. but in this day and age, that could have gotten her so very far.
      i go back and watch mean girls now, and all i see is rachel mcadams acting circles around her.

      • Stellax2 says:

        Thank you! Kaiser, I don’t even know why you bother at this point.

        If Lindsay went away and truly got herself together, she would’ve had a chance. She has no humility. She is the ultimate guide of what not to do whether you are a d celebrity or a regular person.

        The casual mention of suicide, the whole rant on kids experimentation (Lindsay, you’ve been arrested on multiple charges several times). She’s a thief and a liar. She buys her own brand of delusion.

        If she did win an Oscar or even a Globe or SAG, she’d be about 50 years old, even more weathered than she is now. I can’t even call her a woman. She’s an overgrown child sociopath with oppositional defiance disorder.
        I can appreciate that her family situation is a joke but she could’ve left and not continued the drama.
        Lindsay, are you listening? Admit your issues and get help with a psychiatrist who specializes in addiction and family trauma. Go away, sober up, get healthy, prove yourself.

        A recovering addict needs to be trusted. It could take years (and I don’t think you are sober) so you need to actually work and discover who you are and what you want. Being in the spotlight, looking horrible and spewing b*******.
        You worked with Brett Easton Ellis-back in the 80’s that may have been a ticket, now you are a joke.
        I can’t take it anymore.

  4. lori says:

    If your headline is a direct quote that’s the only truth that’s come outta her mouth in a decade.

  5. Lexi says:

    Lolol I died when I read “This crackie!!!!!!”

    This girl is legit cray. Also, she wasn’t even all that great of an actor back in the day anyway. Ok, Parent Trap was awesome. But besides that, I think her acting range was always limited.

    • Bej says:

      When I see pictures of her now, I can barely remember her name, thanks to reading this site. She will forever be the “Cracken” or the “Crackie”

  6. brin says:

    Psychiatrist’s dream/nightmare.

  7. Franny says:

    Youre right lilo, going out all the time and then drunk driving and then hitting people isn’t a problem…..

  8. LAK says:

    wait, did she just throw shade at Elizabeth Taylor?????!!!!!

    She thinks she’s better than Elizabeth Taylor??????!!!!

    • Jacq says:

      Se thinks she IS Elizabeth Taylor! Der!

      Why can’t you just cut her some slack? She’s TOTALLY taken responsibility for everything in her life, she’s TOTES reliable & people like you are standing between her and her Oscars because you won’t quit until she’s behind bars. She just wants things to be the way they were before “the sh*t” happened.

      It took me like 20 minutes to type that because I can’t stop laughing

    • Mich says:

      I know!! Too funny!

      Yo’ Cracken. Liz might have been drunk on set 40 years ago but your probation is likely getting revoked next week. Glad to hear you are doing so ‘great’.

      • Eleonor says:

        Plus Elizabeth Taylor never stole anything, all her faboulous jewelery was a gift by men crazily in love with her.

      • MyCatLovesTV says:

        Elizabeth Taylor radiated CLASS.
        Lindsey Lohan radiates CRASS.
        That’s all.

      • mzthirtyeight says:

        Elizabeth Taylor was not classy-Richard Burton wrote extensively about how he wished she’d be more so. She apparently reveled in being crass. However, she certainly was a good actress and at a point took accountabiliy for her actions. Something I do believe this mess will never do. She’s elusional.

  9. handsome man saved me from the monsters says:

    Yeah, after I win an Oscar I’ll bring about world peace and fly to the moon

  10. the original bellaluna says:

    From the same issue: “Lohan is visceral in scenes revealing Liz’s fear of losing her looks, her fame and her man.” (Their review of L&D, which they gave 3 stars out of 4!)

    Can you BELIEVE THAT?!? “Visceral!” *snorts with laughter*

    • Amelia says:

      I get the feeling that whatever they got paid to actually print that comment is enough to sustain a small country for a good few years.
      Can’t wait til this crackfest airs, but it’ll probably be a few weeks after you get it Stateside. At least, that’s how it was with that William and Kate abomination.

      • LAK says:

        when does it air? Is it me or does it seem that she’s on a major press tour as though this is feature film, oscar bound?

    • Nanea says:

      A good friend is a visceral surgeon, I wonder how he feels about that Crackie comparison…

      Cranberry Cracktini for me, please!

    • Boo says:

      In this context, “visceral” means “makes viewers hurl.”

    • Bej says:

      The mention of her ‘visceral’
      (I like the definition in this regard as
      2 : not intellectual : instinctive, unreasoning
      or even,
      3: dealing with crude or elemental emotions : earthy <a visceral novel)

      performance as Liz put me over the edge after almost loosing it seeing her in that hideous navel freckles baring dress.

      • nada says:

        Thank you, that dress is asolutely ridiculous and disgusting on her!
        First, it makes her look pregnant! That bloated gut and swollen liver need to be kept in with spanx or whatever. Those overflowing, drooping to her navel boobs need support from some strong underwire-bra. This crack-bitch has not the least idea what to wear to look presentable. The shot from the back, when she’s looking over her shoulder?? Bwahahahah!!!! That look might have worked for Rita Hayworth, but cracken??? FFS, do even her closest friends hate her sooooooo much, they tell her she looks great living the house?
        I never liked her body (when not Photo-shopped), but at least it was tight, compact, young and sexy.
        Now my only VISCERAL recation is hurling while looking at her pics.

  11. HotPockets says:

    She should regret going out all those nights, not to mention all the drugs she did because home girl looks ancient. Your career is over once your looks are gone, especially since she doesn’t have much acting talent to back her up.

  12. Mich says:

    And THIS is why I never feel bad bashing her when these posts come up.

    She has hurt so many people – lying to them, stalking them, stealing from them, carjacking them, hitting them with her car, throwing things at them, destroying their property, publicly smearing them – and the only victim she sees is herself.

    • Lady D says:

      Yup. Totally despicable individual.

    • Kloops says:

      Agreed. She has no redeeming qualities and is talentless to boot. She only gets “work” because of her notoriety.

      • Kimbob says:

        @Kloops, your comment about her getting work because of her notoriety is about the truest statement I’ve read.

        This pretty much sums up Crackie’s career now. Lifetime network (is that right?) picked Crackie because they knew that the Liz & Dick movie would get ATTENTION all because of Crackie & her ensuing antics….and Crackie did not disappoint.

        @Kloops, you hit the nail on the head!

    • LAK says:

      Ding! Ding! Ding!

      Not to mention the productions she’s help up and on/off set problems that impacted all the people working on those productions.

    • gg says:

      Bottom Line: If you want to be a drunk, you will not ever get your life together. Your teeth will fall out and you will eventually be homeless. Ask any drunk in any city that lives on the street.

      Alcoholism is a disease and she needs intense treatment.

  13. Mirella says:

    The delusions are strong with this one. Yikes.

  14. Lili says:

    hahhahaha, Oscar yeah right.

  15. tonina says:

    “Elizabeth is always drunk on set…”
    Elizabeth’s shoe can act better than you!

  16. StephanieMarie2685 says:

    Ok, the only bit that seems legitimately nutsy is the winning of an Oscar…
    She seems to be doing okay now, she looks better than she has in years.
    I’m rooting for her.

    • Andrew says:

      Agreed. I do think she is trying just a teeny bit ha. I have to say, at least her views on her relationship is on track. When one crazy gets in a relationship with another crazy, it ain’t gunna be good.

  17. Zorbitor says:

    Community service (doing good for others) is legal punishment and churches and schools try to goad people into doing it as well. On the other hand, many people form non profits and make their livings under the same rubric. Weird.

    • gg says:

      Excuse me? Community service is to help the community. Don’t you know anybody who has helped homeless children, worked fixing local park trails, fixed the bleachers at the local ball park? They exist and they are legion.

  18. hillbillyinthecorner says:

    This is one of the finest example of a complete Sociopath as I have ever seen …complete and utterly delusional with nothing left of reality in her mind….

    And the saddest thing about it is all the enablers around her who support her in that delusion she lives in….as long as the money and goodies are available…..
    Instead of NYC or LA she should be living at Shady Rest or Bellvue….or Butner for the Complete incurable Insane….a nice corner room with a view…and she can play actress for the other residents every night and walk her red carpet to the recreate room….

  19. deaany says:

    I think the McFly autobiography is worth a look for some interesting Lohan tidbits. Was flipping through a few pages last night, and there were some definite gems in there from a night where she and the drummer supposedly hooked up. Not so much a kiss and tell and an awed assessment of her fucked up lifestyle. Like I said, worth a look.

  20. bettyrose says:

    Oh, gawd, that dress. It’s a Kardashian level disaster. She’s busting out of it like she’s three months pregnant in a neglige.

    • KellyinSeattle says:

      agreed!!!!!!!!!!! and she’s young, but looks like she’s sucking in her tummy for all she’s worth…I do hope she gets herself together. I think deep down she is fairly intelligent, but needs a new start, if people will ever accept her again.

    • Mauibound says:

      One word, and one word only.. Spanx

  21. Starlight says:

    This girl needs to be saved before it’s too late. Take her away from her mother. Her dad may not be perfect but at least he cares for her well being. They need to give her dad the conservatorship just like Britney. I really like her and I feel bad with what’s going on with her life now emotionally. She needs help. Stop threatening her with jail time.

    • Lady D says:

      If she would respect the law and the people around her, there would be no threats of jail time. It’s actually pretty easy to avoid jail.

      • TG says:

        It is funny that you say that LadyD about how easy it is to avoid jail. That is exatly what I told my younger brother when he was busted with pot with intent to distribute. It would have only been a misdemeanor but the idiot had a gun in his car at the time. A gun he stole from his mother, no less. When he got out on parole I told him the same thing. I said I don’t actively have to think about not going to jail each day. It is actually simple. Of course all of this after I spent over $15K helping him. Well, not one year later he was busted yet again with pot with intent to distribute and now they had added cocaine to their haul. He got lucky in that one because it was another state and the procsecutor got his a** beat by his wife so he was off all of his cases so everyone’s cases were pled down to just probation. It has been over 2 years now and so far so good, but as was mentioned above it will take me at least 10 years to a lifetime before I will ever believe that he really has learned from his actions.

    • lilred says:

      Beg to differ Michael Lohan is a disgusting excuse for a human being also,he’s only looking to cash in on her like everyone else.

    • Beatrice Sparkplug says:

      It’s way beyond too late. She did celebratory shots with her MOTHER after being released from rehab. That’s a pretty clear indication that there’s no sense of reality with this one.

    • Bread and Circuses says:

      Michael Lohan beats women.

      In other words: Dur, NO.

    • duncecap says:

      This “girl”?

      • dee says:

        I honestly don’t mean this in a snarky way, I am legitimately curious: Why do you like her? The best spin that can be put on her as an actresss is that she was quite charming in a total of three films she did as a teenager :Parent Trap, Freaky Friday and Mean Girls. One definitely saw lots of potential in her. However, she has not given a good performance as an adult or in anything that borders on a dramatic role. She has demonstrated unprofessional behavior on every project she’s worked on in the last 6 or 7 years, up to and including her most recent projects. Do you/would you like a person who was always late to your own place of employment and continually made it impossible for you to get your own work done on time? She has performed numerous criminbal acts. Would you care about someone’s upbringing if they stole from you,carjacked you, hit you while you wheeled your baby carriage on a public sidewalk? Would you feel anyone who did these things to you or a loved one was being unfairly threatened with jail time? What has Lindsay Lohan done that makes you feel she should get a million chances to get her life on track without paying any consequences for all the times her life crashes off course through the decisions she makes? Do you tolerate, like, or root for people in your own life who show themselves again and again and again to be liars? If not, why is it ok for her to lie and if you do tolerate liars, are you aware most people cannot? She had bad parents, this I get but so did Ted Bundy. The point comes in an adult’s life where this fact no longer excuses everything.

  22. Zigggy says:

    Oh my god- the delusion! Wow.

  23. phlyfiremama says:

    “Recently, I found out one of my close friends was giving a detailed account to a newspaper of what I was doing all the time.” That…sounds pretty much like an inadverdent confession and confirmation of EVERYTHING wrong with her. Oopsie!

  24. serena says:

    LOL why they didn’t ask about all her plastic surgery?

  25. Theresa says:

    Gossip magazine articles are the exact place a pathological liar will be at their best. I know people like her in my own circle, completely clueless, hypocritical, in denial, refusing to take account or responsibility for their actions, which are usually always pleasure-seeking at the cost of others.

    Unfortunately, the “business” loves a sob story, and she will continue to be exploited whenever and wherever the opportunity exists. No one should be fooled into thinking she has redeemed herself when she snags a paying gig. Any producer willing to give her a job now only has $ signs in their eyes for the free publicity she gets them. They will kiss her ass, put up with her shenanigans all the while hoping for an audience. That the audience is only tuning in for the car wreck of it all is of no consequence to a profit-seeking exec. That we all know the truth, that she is an oblivious walking breathing punch line, to me is consequence enough.

    I don’t necessarily wish her ill, but I don’t worry about her getting away with anything either. She lives in a pretty dismal world, very little happiness that isn’t aided by some kind of hallucinatory substance. For those that think she is getting away with anything, her career trajectory belies that fact for me.

    That being said, she looks like Jessica Rabbit in these photos. A living cartoon character. Her most famous line is quite apt here: “I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.”

  26. Dawning Red says:

    And now, for a Crack-to-English translation courtesy of the new Cracktrex2000: The only known program to successfully decode Crackenese into a language understandable to normal human beings.

    “I’m happy. I just did three movies in a row and I’m not even tired.

    TRANSLATION: “I’m happy, I just did three directors in a row, take that, KStew! And I’m not even tired because I’ve been doing speed all week!”

    “But it got exhausting. I still don’t think it was a bad thing that I was going out a lot. When I got in trouble, I owned up to it.”

    TRANSLATION: “It’s exhausting f*cking anything that isn’t nailed down, and a few things that are in any given week. That’s not a bad thing, it just means order up some more Valtrex and ask for room service, maybe the cleaning guy is cute. But when I got into trouble, I always made sure there was a black kid to blame it on.”

    “Kids go through ups and downs, try cigarettes, drugs and drinking. It’s human nature.”

    TRANSLATION: “So what if I’m drinking and driving? It’s not as if I’m ever gonna do more than a couple hours in the clink, am I?”

    “But a punishment is a punishment and I take responsibility for my actions when I’m wrong. I was raised that way by my mom.”

    At this point the translating program crashed and needed a complete reboot. Several of them. The programmers aren’t sure, but it sounded as if the sounds the computer were making were laughter.

    “A lot of that decision had to do with the public because they’re not going to stop until they see me behind bars.”

    TRANSLATION: “Move that PR, I’m Lindsay Lohan!”

    “After I win an Oscar”

    TRANSLATION: “I’m gonna screw the whole Oscar committee. I’ve done a couple football teams before, how hard can this be?”

    “I’m grateful. I think there are a lot of directors and producers who know I’m a good actress. I just want them to get past the misconception that I’m not reliable, because I am. I’m going to make them believe in me again.”

    TRANSLATION: “I’m gonna have to blow a lot more directors to get those jobs again, but I’ve been doing it since Mean Girls, so I got this one in the bag.

    • Mich says:

      Hooray! I love when you do these!!!

      I saw you comment on “that dress” yesterday and was going to ask you to write a diary/press release about her thinking process re the whole red carpet event.

    • OhMyMy says:

      Sorry but this paragraph just keeps making me twitch and my brain needs to correct it:

      “I’m grateful. I think there are a lot of directors and producers who know I’m a good actress. [They do, right? RIGHT??? Mom, you said so, right?] I just want them to get past the misconception that I’m not reliable, because I am [not reliable]. I’m going to make them believe in me again.[whatever it takes, me and my mom will harass them till they beg for mercy, they will believe in me and they will cast me in movies or they will pay]”

    • jani says:

      Outstanding!!!! You are so much better than Google Translator. My laptop doesn’t have Cracktex, but even it began to make laughing sounds while I was reading that interview.

      Gotta go now and do a ton of booze ‘n blow with my mom, get in a limo backseat brawl with her and then call my dad who’ll contact TMZ. It’s human nature.

    • Madisyn says:

      “But a punishment is a punishment and I take responsibility for my actions when I’m wrong. I was raised that way by my mom.”

      Translation: I’m NEVER wrong, my ‘MOMMY’ says so . . .

      • Lady D says:

        Hey Mads! I was giggling my way through Crackie’s article until I got to that line. That was a laugh out loud moment for sure. I honest-to-God do not understand how someone can be so deluded. I’ve known a fair amount of hard core drug addicts and I don’t think any of them were ever this deluded, seriously. I guess it’s easier than actually facing what people think of her? I vote prison for a wake-up call.

      • Madisyn says:

        Hey Lady D. Hope you had a great holiday. I know, it boggles the mind how fvcked up she really is . . . Of course, thats the problem. She only surrounds herself with people who tell her shes ‘fabulous’ and ‘amazing’ and all the ‘haters’ are just jealous. I truly believe she thinks of herself that highly. That entitled attitude didn’t manifest itself out of thin air. ‘MOMMY’ knows where her bread is buttered . . .

  27. Sam says:

    Does Blohan have a makeup artist? The lipstick .. The badly blended eyeshadow.. The blush.. The eyeliner. It’s all so terrible!!

    • Kimbob says:

      @Sam, definitely the make-up is not good. To me, what looks really bad here are the blush (too harsh/extreme for her skin), but the WORST OFFENSE is the lipstick…good Gawd!

      I mean, if you look at the lipstick & lip liner, the liner is rimmed around her already artifically enlarged lips, & it’s so obvious the make-up artist, or Crackie, wants to make her altered lips look even larger than they already are. Her lips look clownish w/the lip liner rimming outside the margins of her artificial lips. Then, for good measure, the lipstick is applied on top of it all…..clownish!

      I also think her eyebrows are too dark and over-colored or shaded for her coloring here. The eyeliner, well….Crackie likes the dramatic, Cleopatra-type eyeliner. I do, however, like the gold shade applied to her eyelids, though. I think that is quite complimentary to her coloring. The gold eyelid shading shows well in her embarrassing pic of blowing a kiss…although I think it could have been blended more so it didn’t look so obvious.

  28. Cathy says:

    Ahhh crackenmonster, you never cease to amaze me. Cracktini time.

  29. erika says:

    DENIAL is a river of vodka that flows through your veins….

    “I need to love myself first” – RIGHT on GIRL! Yes! You need to put yourself first in front of vodka, coke, crack, smack, meth, weed, oxycontin, toothpaste, hydrocodone, morphine sulfate and canned hair spray!

    I take responsibility for my actions when I’m wrong. I was raised that way by my mom. – was Jack Daniels her name?

    “I was never drunk on set” – so true, never drunk, always HIGH

    “Two toxic people cannot be together” – she’s right, when you have multiple personality disorder LL, you can’t even stand yourself..

    “don’t want director’s to believe I’m not reliable, because I am. I’m going to make them believe in me again.” – You go Girl! Crank Crank! Choo Choo! Next stop Delusionville! Swallow Swallow (pills), Chug it Chug it!, Shoot it up you Little Cracken Engine THAT COULD!!!

    F***k moi, that was HARD to read. My eyes.

    Hey, MEDIA when are you going to grow a pair of balls and ask this Crack Fairy THE REAL questions and demand the REAL answers!

    put this bitch away!

    • the original bellaluna says:

      But not before she crack-tweets on Sunday night during & after her “world movie premier,” because I’m thinking those are going to be GOLDEN!

  30. skuddles says:

    This girl is completely wasted on delusion – I don’t know why she even bothers with other intoxicants like booze and drugs. And delusion only trashes her brain, not her looks.

  31. shewolf says:

    What else should she have said? I think she handled the questions as best she could. I think everyone in hollywood lies a little because you cant very well say “Look Im a bloody mess I dont even know how I’m here anymore.” She’s repulsive just like the rest of her family but well… I think I feel bad for her.

    • bettyrose says:

      I feel bad for her sometimes, or rather I start to feel guilty that we’re mean-girling her here by finding fault with everything she says/does/wears, but then I remember that she puts herself in the (negative) spotlight 3 or 4 times A WEEK. Other celebs (from Sandra Bullock down to Jaime Lynn Spears) have wisely left the spotlight amid scandal to prioritize their emotional well being. This girl COULD do that. We have short memories and six months out of the limelight paired with a classy return might . . . just might . . . grant her a continuing B-List career.

      • Boo says:

        That’s just it. Her tabloid presence is always a talking point in interviews (for example, Leno…which fell flat because she’s too dumb to realize those weren’t real tabloids), and she always conveys the idea that she is just PLAGUED by paps constantly, as if there is NOTHING she can do about it. I just wish one interviewer would say, you know, Lindsay, if you don’t want to be followed, don’t call the paps for drug money. If you don’t want to live a public life, move away from the parties and the spectacle and create a private life for yourself. But they don’t ever say that, and she won’t ever do it.

  32. Fai says:

    I’ve seen lips on fishes that are prettier than this. She looks like she stuck 2 halves of tomatoes on where her mouth is…

  33. elceibeno says:

    Poor Lindsey. She ruined her life. When the fog she is dissipates and she sees her reality, she is going to be so devastated.

  34. dcypher1 says:

    I feel exactly like k I just cant with this bitch rite now I cant even comment.

  35. FeverDream says:

    Modern day Barbara Peyton.

    She’s beyond redemption.

  36. lylaooo says:

    she was soo beautiful and now her face its so damaged to me..i honestly just saw two of her movies.. and i onle liked the one with the twins and we are the same age..hopefully she pulls her self together but its hard to take her seriusly…

  37. Incredulous says:

    In Lindsay’s latest role, she plays the part of a former child actress trying to rebuild her life after years of alcohol and drug abuse have made her almost unemployable.

    Honestly, I don’t think she was right for the role. I just didn’t believe her big, emotional speeches about how she has changed and turned her life around.

    That said, the make up was pretty good as she looked like someone getting old before their time due to rampant coke, meth and booze.

    Eh, I’d say it was worth sitting down and watching for a few minutes when it’s on TV but I wouldn’t pay money or anything.

  38. littlemissnaughty says:

    The thing I’m clinging to is the fact that nobody will give her a child. Right? …. RIGHT??? She wants a toy, not a kid. Girls are harder to deal with so she wants a boy? Honey, step into the real world for a sec before you choose the sex of your child based on which is easier. If you’re already stressed out thinking about it and pick the sex based on stress level? Go away.
    Thank gawd all her crack shenanigans are out there for the world to see. Hide your children!

    • bettyrose says:

      Plus, I don’t think boys who are neglected and routinely humiliated by their oversexualized crackhead mothers are necessarily less traumatized than girls.

  39. UghInsomnia says:


  40. Sara says:

    If she isn’t sober, nothing she says means anything. She had two car crashes over the last couple of months, lied to the police about who was driving, and didn’t show up for her scene when filing Scary
    Movie. Its action not talking that make
    believe in you. Get sober and truly work on it if you want to be taken seriously with Hollywood and the public.

  41. G says:

    After 5 times in rehab, she still can’t even fake sounding like someone who’s sober.

  42. smartyparty says:

    “This Bitch. I CAN’T”!

    You know what’s odd. This is how I felt until, like, a few days ago. Suddenly, I CAN with LiLo. Go get it, girl! I suddenly want to see her succeed at imposing her inner “I’m actually a huge movie star” delusion into the world. I mean, she’s come this far…

  43. M says:

    At the rate shes going, she is going to become part of the ’27 club’ soon.

  44. Boo says:

    I was reading an article about how Lindsay went “method” for her role as Elizabeth Taylor. This made me laugh so hard I almost cracked (!) a rib, but it gets funnier. Here is a quote from the article, which was in ET Tonight:

    “Not only that, but Lohan admits she stayed in character even when she wasn’t filming! ‘My friends didn’t come to my trailer a lot because I was Cleopatra and Virginia Woolf the entire time.'”

    Is she even aware that Taylor was NOT playing the role of Virginia Woolf in that film?

    • Dawning Red says:

      TRANSLATION: “My dealers didn’t come to my trailer a lot because I have this habit of swiping their jewelry while they’re looking the other way, then pickpocketing them as they leave.”

    • bettyrose says:

      “Is she even aware that Taylor was NOT playing the role of Virginia Woolf in that film?”

      Silly, Boo. A busy actress practicing her “method” does not have time to read a one page Wikipedia summary of her subject, let alone watch the original films.

  45. phaksi says:

    She’s a mess

  46. Blue says:

    I wonder if they did this interview face to face because I wouldn’t have been able to keep a straight face.

  47. Ming Lee says:

    lindsay needs her brain checked. she spun every story/response to make herself look like the victim. and don’t forget throwing elizabeth taylor under the bus along the way.

    the dress is tacky and her make up only makes her look like a puffy man trying to be pretty. her lip liner isn’t even on her lips, but around the rim of her mouth. ish.

  48. Bess says:

    Does Crackie realize that she’s repeated the, “I respect the law”, “I take responsibility”, “I would have been in college”, etc. lines on several other occasions? All of her previous statements to the media are on record. Why should anyone believe her now??

    Also, it looks like Crackie is trying to convince herself and us that her relationship with “a girl” was a one time thing. I don’t believe her.

  49. Seen says:

    SHe surrounds herself with psyophants. She should have been more aware of who she surrounds herself with. She was toxic, but so was Samantha. People screw up. Kids make mistakes. NOTHING here says she did anything anybody else wouldn’t so – so she’s just “normal” and it was only noticed about her because she’s a celebrity. She turned herslef in? (um yea, but only before a warrant was issued). She was “bold” ebough to say she likes women and got heartbreak in return. (Yea, cuz thats why the relationship failed.). How is THAT taking responsibility? How is that admitting when she’s wrong? This is the same victim crap she’s been spitting out for 5 years. She has learning ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

  50. Seen says:

    SHe surrounds herself with psyophants. She should have been more aware of who she surrounds herself with. (Read; its not her, its them.). She was toxic, but so was Samantha. People screw up. Kids make mistakes. NOTHING here says she did anything anybody else wouldn’t so – so she’s just “normal” and it was only noticed about her because she’s a celebrity. She turned herslef in? (um yea, but only before a warrant was issued). She was “bold” ebough to say she likes women and got heartbreak in return. (Yea, cuz thats why the relationship failed.). How is that taking responsibility? How is that admitting when she’s wrong? This is the same victim crap she’s been spitting out for 5 years. She has learning ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

  51. daisy says:

    over line yer lips much???

  52. Simone says:

    Where do i begin? First she looks like a 50 year old stripper, that dress is sooo tacky, and that interview,Jesus!! what planet does she live in? Must be the planet Lohan where everybody loves her and there’s this group of people that is just out to get her, i laugh my ass off with every word that comes out of her mouth.

  53. shelley says:

    Lindsay is beautiful and talented. I’m glad to see her trying because that’s the best that any of us can do. No matter how many times she falls off, hollywood knows she still got it and that’s why she still gets jobs.

  54. ben says:

    Lindsay has the mentality of a 10 year old. What do expect to come out of her mouth.

  55. logan says:

    I watched Chelsea Lately last night and Chelsea showed a clip from the upcoming “Canyons”. Chelsea said her voice reminds her of the anti smoking throat cancer lady who had to talk out of the hole in her throat. Panned both Canyons and Dick & Liz. And what does she mean “was going out all the time”? Are supposed to believe she doesn’t go out anymore? Home studying scripts are ya Lindsay?

  56. themummy says:

    That dress is a tragedy. Bad fit. She looks half dead.

    Also, she said she did three movies back to back. What movies? There was Liz & Dick, and then that Canyons movie. What was the third?

    • OhMyMy says:

      She’s counting the cameo where she plays herself that will probably be like 5 minutes screentime in Scary Movie 5 as “doing a movie”. And they had to force her to do it because she was throwing out every excuse she could think of to try to get out of it.

  57. silver says:

    “When I got in trouble, I owned up to it.”

    really? so when police find coke in YOUR pants, saying “the black guy” did it is owning up to it?

    not even going to get into everything she hasn’t owned up to since then. so much delusion, how can she say these huge, obvious lies with a straight face & feel no embarassement or shame?

  58. silver says:

    “I think there are a lot of directors and producers who know I’m a good actress. I just want them to get past the misconception that I’m not reliable, because I am. I’m going to make them believe in me again.”

    for all the people saying that she’s really trying this time & is making a comeback, turning a new leaf, etc. her behavior on the set of past 3 movies proved that she’s not reliable & is in fact a huge liability.

    • Boo says:

      Not only that, but there has been little evidence in the last 5-7 years that she is, in fact, a good actress. She could do a passable Brit accent as a child; that does not make her a good 26 year old actress. I saw one scathing review of L&D that said she seemed to be struggling to pull of an AMERICAN accent, FFS. One cannot rest on one’s success as a pre-teen for the rest of one’s life, can one?

  59. DCGH says:

    The only projects she’s working on are ones that do not pay much of anything. She’s desperate and so are the producers of these projects.
    She’s OUT and she’s OVER. She hasn’t enough talent or followers to pull in the dollars good projects need to succeed. Hiring her is the “Kiss of Death” for their projects.

  60. Dawning Red says:

    What ARE her tweets going to be like after this show is over? I’m betting a number of sock-puppet accounts will be gushing how awesome the show was on her twatter. Meanwhile, in the real world, the show will become a meme, and not in a good way.

  61. Sugar says:

    Lindsay must delude herself to think we all have as selective of a memory as she has. No way does that women have respect for the law-she should & better have respect for her attorney because that women has done more to save Lindsay then Lindsay herself.
    I would have even more respect for SHC if she were to drop Lindsay but a part of me thinks she too likes the limelight it throws her into everytime she has to make those court proceedings on behalf of & with that client.
    All this I’m trying & changing & woe being me because everyone scrutinizes me is just due to the fact she has lying to the law (she sooo respects) charges coming at her.
    I would marvel at her attempt to deflect each item on “the rap sheet” because that’s the crackie way she rolls.

  62. gg says:

    Lindsay Lohan: “I still don’t think it was a bad thing that I was going out a lot.”

    a) You never do, you idiot;
    b) “Was”?

  63. rocky says:

    very nice pics.

  64. nice website. i like your working style.

  65. Shelly says:

    Holy Mother of Delusion. Going out a lot in itself isn’t a bad thing. However, if almost every time you go out you get into trouble – drunk driving, drug possession, car accidents, people getting pics of you doing drugs, random men attacking you in hotel rooms, falling over in public because you are too wasted, getting into screaming matches with your mother/father/girlfriends/boyfriends, OD’ing several times and calling it “dehydration and exhaustion”, missing court dates and court-ordered requirements, etc., etc. – then maybe for you going out a lot IS a bad thing, since you obviously have no self-control. Jesus.

  66. LurkeeLee says:

    Liz and Dick premieres tonight y’all. Set your DRVs for the trainwreck.

  67. emmie_a says:

    I’m surprised there’s not a post about Charlie Sheen giving Lindsay $100,000 for her tax debt??

  68. The Original Tiffany says:

    CB-Are we going to get an open post for Liz and Dick? Pretty please???

    We cannot miss this epic event. It would be such a shame to let it pass by without a running blow by blow of hilarity.

    I’ve never asked for anything before, but this I would beg for!

  69. Jayna says:

    Seven minutes in and I can’t stop chuckling.

  70. Jayna says:

    The trailer scene just brought on full laughter.

  71. Dawning Red says:

    Darnit! I’m here on the Left Coast and have to wait a few hours until I get to see this laugh-fest!

  72. Macey says:

    I refuse to turn it on so i dont contribute to the ratings, plus Revenge and Walking Dead are on now so Im flipping. Just wanted to see what ppl were saying so far, Im surprised CB didnt put an open post up. I saw Michael K has one, I cant wait to read the comments over there.

    I really dont think they’re going to get the ratings they were hoping for. btwn Walking Dead, Beibers interview and cpl others theres a lot of competition. Plus Lifetime has literally run the commercial for this mess every 5 minutes all weekend.
    I usually have that channel on it the background but i couldnt take it anymore. Havent put it back there since Friday. I saw a lot of ppl commenting on their page that they ran it so much they werent watching b/c they were sick of it already just b/c of the ads. Both channels were doing it.

  73. Shannon says:

    OMG this movie is hilarious. Can’t decide what the worst line so far is. “I didn’t know Italy could be so hot” right after the Shakespeare soliloquy is definitely in the running.

    • Jayna says:

      They have minus chemistry. There’s no passion felt. I feel for the guy. He’s doing a decent job.

      • e.non says:

        he is doing a decent job; but, good gawd, every time she locks those fishlips on him, i can only think how badly her breath must smell.

        ugh. and that voice … i keep waiting for her to hock up a loogie…

      • Shannon says:

        I agree, he’s really the only reason I paid any attention after the first half hour.

  74. Macey says:

    the twitter fest for this is far more entertaining than the show itself. LL is supposed to be live tweeting and lifetime is telling ppl to use hashtag #lizanddick for a chance to win a poster. Im not on twitter but i read and my word there’s a lot of LOL tweets going on. heres one of my favs…

    #lizanddick RT @jesseltaylor: @moorehn It kind of sounds like a weird New England accent delivered around a piece of tough meat.

    Kathy Griffin is even holding a party for this. the aftermath and tweeting about this is going to be epic. Hopefully this will be the last time someone uses her for stunt casting. I wish someone would tweet and ask whatever happened to Liz’s trailer and see if Lifetime ever paid for the damages she’s caused.

  75. Sugar says:

    i don’t have cable so I have been reading the tweets on Lindsays twitter page…daddy Lohan chripped in his winning take on the movie & her acting.
    some of the comments would lead me to believe she is actually going to win an Oscar for a Lifetime TV movie-I prefer the comments that highlight her lips & voice, they seem more grounded in reality…