Lindsay Lohan’s delusions: ‘After I win an Oscar, I can start thinking about love’

Lindsay Lohan has an interview in the new issue of Us Weekly, and I don’t want to oversell this thing, but it is one of the saddest/funniest/craziest/most delusional things you will EVER READ. In your life. I’m guessing that Lindsay agreed to do a sit-down interview with Us Weekly because A) Maybe People Mag wouldn’t play ball and B) Because she’s promoting Liz & Dick in all of the Lohan-friendly press outlets, and Us Weekly was more willing to simply sit back and “Let Lohan Be Lohan”. And good God, it is crack magic! Some highlights:

She’s finally getting her act together: “I want to be known as an actress, not a troubled starlet. People can think what they want, and the only thing I can do is prove them wrong.”

She wants kids: “I want to adopt a son.”

Love and Oscars: “I’m not focused on that yet. I want to do a ton of movies first. After I win an Oscar, I can start thinking about love. I think there are a lot of directors and producers who know I’m a good actress. I just want them to get past the misconception that I’m not reliable, because I am. I’m going to make them believe in me again.”

She regrets nothing, because she her struggles make her a better actress: “[I regret] nothing, because then I wouldn’t have been able to cry in scenes at the drop of a hat. I have it tattooed: LIVE WITHOUT REGRETS. I’m not saying I wanted to go to a jail cell, but I’ve drawn from all of it.”

Comparing herself to Elizabeth Taylor: “Elizabeth was drunk on sets. I’ve never been drunk on set, ever. I did my time and I respect the law.”

Lockup: “As hard as it was for me to admit it when I was in denial, it was a blessing in disguise,” she said of her stint behind bars. “I was in solitary confinement and I took the time to really get into the right headspace.”

Comparing herself to Marilyn Monroe: “Marilyn Monroe went to an institution and said, ‘I may not belong here like the world thinks I do, but I might as well take what I can get here and use it and help other people. I think that’s what everyone should take from those experiences.”

What she would tell her 16-year-old self: “Don’t drink and drive. And be careful who you surround yourself with.”

[From Us Weekly]

So much magic. So much crack. So much delusion. Please, for the love of all that is holy, DO NOT LET HER ADOPT. I can’t think that any adoption agency would let her adopt a child… right? RIGHT? As for her ability to compare herself to Elizabeth Taylor and Marilyn Monroe without even blinking a f—king crack eye, crackie needs to sit down and stop lying. As for her Oscar talk… hahahahahahahahahahaaha.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

 

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121 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan’s delusions: ‘After I win an Oscar, I can start thinking about love’”

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  1. brin says:

    Her fried cracked-out brain scares me.

  2. Becky says:

    I’m overseas, and I really hope that doesn’t mean I will miss out on Liz and Dick. it’s bad enough that in South America a lot of people still think Lindsay is hot since they haven’t seen a picture of her in about seven years, so there will be no drinking game with my buddies :(

    Eta: given her comments it is impossible to feel bad for this girl, but that is one sad face, dear god.

  3. dorothy says:

    The more she talks, the more I realize that she doesn’t get it. Her 15 minutes were up years ago.

  4. Kate says:

    Well I guess she’s never gonna find love, then.

  5. marie says:

    hahahaha, I can’t even.. there is so much wrong with this interview-I don’t even know where to start.. did she really just call out ET trying to make herself sound better?..hahahahahaha, wow delusion runs deep in that one..

  6. BengalCat2000 says:

    She has no regrets b/c she’s never had to pay for her mistakes. Perhaps a little time in jail will bring her back to reality…

  7. Amelia says:

    I almost feel bad for her now.
    ALMOST. If this wasn’t the eleventy billionth chance the Cracken has been inexplicably given, I’d probably go “Aww. Poor little crackie needs help.”
    But it is.
    So – BWAHAHAAAAAAAAA.

  8. Hautie says:

    “Elizabeth was drunk on sets. I’ve never been drunk on set, ever….”
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Soooo being coked out of her mind, is fine then?

    Lohan’s biggest delusion, is thinking that no one talks. Everyone in that industry knows she is beyond help.

    And with interviews like this one, it just confirms what everyone has been saying about her.

    She is past her prime. Because she won’t lay the Vodka bottle down. And stop all the coke and pills.

  9. Sisi says:

    I think my laptop screen is playing tricks on me, in the top picture Lilo has a fungusgreen eyebrow

    • Amelia says:

      Nope, I’m seeing it too, now that I’m looking closely.
      Bad tinting job?

    • MichelleR says:

      I was more surprised at the double chin and that no one mentioned that. Man…she just looks rough!!

      • Bitca says:

        The Chin–a painful fixture for a couple years–looks like a side effect of one of her 30-somethingth unnecessary cosmetic procedures. The Chin has mystified me since it 1st appeared.

        H’wood is filled w/coke-heads, lushes, druggies of every stripe, but unless they are overweight, I have never seen a double-chin result from substance abuse. Since she seems to be as mad for surgery as Courtney Love, I’m baffled why she’s never had it lipo-ed.

        To be fair, she & The Chin are looking better than usual on this publicity tour. Better by LiLo standards.

        Which leaves the rest, & the fresh-blown chipmunk cheeks that at a lot of angles are plain scary. When mixed with the excess blush & shading, the effect is like a Halloween mask caricaturing the worst of Kate Middleton’s adventures in self-applied cosmetics.

  10. Belle Epoch says:

    She looks like hell. There goes the last reason to hire her.

    At this point what is she suited for? Porn? She’ll never leave Hollywood. It would be good for her to disappear and earn an honest living somewhere but that will NEVER happen. So what are her options? Continue being a drugged out delusional thieving escort until she’s 40? Thoughts?

  11. Katie says:

    It’s a shame that someone who clearly has problems gets so much venom from the media and internet trolls. I wish her well in trying to get her career back on track and hopes she manages to beat her demons.

    • swack says:

      Lindsay cannot get her career on track until she is truly honest with herself and starts taking responsibility for her actions. She couldn’t even get to the premiere of Liz & Dick last night on time. Her “live without regrets” attitude is what gets her in trouble. She never learns from her mistakes.

      • Elizabeth says:

        +1. LiLo loves where she is right now. She is an addict without regrets unfortunately, so she will likely never get the help she needs. I wonder if it’s already too late physically for her. I knew an alcoholic who stopped drinking, drugs when his liver gave out but his body was so far gone, it was too late. Pretty sad as she isn’t even 30 yet.

    • RN says:

      It’s really a shame that someone like her has created almost all of her problems, while vehemently denying responsibility and ignoring each and every outstretched hand offering her a way out.

      • lucy2 says:

        Exactly. She had a lot of people trying to help her, and she STILL won’t try to get better.
        And when a person puts others in danger with their carelessness, I lose any sympathy for them.

      • erika says:

        True dat, as if I read it on her tombstone. seriously. the tragedy is she turned her back every single time someone offered her a way out. THAT is the tragedy.

        I woke up kind of, no, really feeling sorry for her. there’s all this buzz about LandD and it’s truly Norma Desmond reincarnated.

        You HAVE to believe in reincarnation! this is the Norma Desmond of the 21st century. She truly believes that is her biggest foible. Deadly sad.

        and why do we all roll our eyes and laugh? that’s what made me sad this morning. The world laughs (*WIERD: I just had dejavu as I typed that).

        PREDICTION: ok, the dejavu and I just had a creepy psyhic vision (not a psychic!). I think this weekend it will all come down. She will be arrested, thrown in jail where she will try and seriouly hurt herself (aka: end her life), LandD will premiere as the world drinks along in game and come Monday morning we will all wake up to a headline that reads:

        HEADLINE: Monday, November 26th, 2012 LINDSAY LOHAN, DEAD, AT 26. CAUSE OF DEATH: OVERDOSE/or ATTEMPTED SUICIDE. LOCATION: MARMONT OR JAIL CELL.

      • The Original Tiffany says:

        @erika, I’m glad you said it.

        I don’t want to see anyone crying about sympathy after the event, either. What a great, tortured artist she was because she was never more than a passable child star who was outshone in all her roles and got lucky that she hooked up with Tina Fey. She acts like herself, a spoiled, raspy throated brat in every role. Ugh.

        She is a lying, thieving, addict, whore, crackhead who is unrepentant and lives off the paps and the trouble she causes with no hint of remorse or feeling for anyone in her path.

        You saw the looks on the faces and heard the words of the people who had to work with her on this. You have her rap sheet. She is a nightmare and she LOVES it. She trashed that woman’s trailer of ET’s, she cost them time and money and she is a CRIMINAL who never gets in trouble. If you can’t lay off the sauce and drugs after you run over multiple people, if you can’t see you need to make some freaking changes, well then I’m not going to be sad when you off yourself unless you take an innocent person with you.

        Then I shall cry for them.

    • Kloops says:

      It’s a shame that she’s a cracked out, delusional, talentless liar and that she is still inflicted upon the public because her illegal activities are reported by the press.

    • pau says:

      Katie, I do not feel bad for it. Despite how she fluffs up her words, this crackhead has never taken full accountability for any of her behavior. I think she truly is vile. Notice how she always blames “the people I surrounded myself with” or “I would not have surrounded myself with those people”. She always blamnes the “ppl” she was with as opposed to her own poor decision making. Never her own doing. PASS-THE-BLAME-LOHAN’S have mastered the art of making their problems everyone else’s fault. I don’t feel bad for her at all. They are delusional and self entitled people.

  12. Eleonor says:

    After I win the Nobel prize for physics I can start thinking to water plants.

  13. Elisabeth says:

    imagine living in her magical fantasy world? I’ll have what she’s having and AFTER me and Gerard Butler get married we are going to move into a castle and have lots of babies

  14. Cathy says:

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…that’s all I have to say about this.

  15. Mandy says:

    This is disturbing to me on so many levels. It’s kinda of just sad to make fun of her at this point.

    • Mimi says:

      I know. :( I wish she would get some help, or had someone in her life to help
      her. I can’t bring myself to bash someone who clearly is completely out if touch with reality.

      • swack says:

        mimi – She has been given help. Her problem is she does not take any of the help seriously. The only reason she made it through her community service is because they were keeping a strict schedule for that. Even then it was always at the last minute that she finished what she was suppose to every time. She seriously needs to get a grip on reality and start being the adult that she is suppose to be. Blaming everyone but yourself for your screw ups will just keep you doing the same behavior. She doesn’t learn from her mistakes, she didn’t take any of the rehab she has been to seriously and she never takes responsibility for her actions.

      • The Original Tiffany says:

        Where is our running tally CB rap sheet? Anyone?

        Someone needs to put it on excel, it needs spreadsheets and graphs, pie charts and stats for all her “troubles”. No one should feel sorry for this wreck who wants no help and who courts this stuff.

        5 stints in rehab, one at Betty Ford. What was that about help?

        Move that poster, I’m Lindsay Lohan!

    • Elizabeth says:

      I’m past feeling sorry for her. She just makes me so angry now for all the chances she has blown and for how arrogant & in denial she is. You know she would screw anyone over now to maintain her delusional toxic little life. Recovery requires humility and there’s none here.

    • Kate says:

      I agree. I think she’s really unwell. It’s fish in a barrel, laughing at someone this far gone.

  16. Jazz says:

    “I was in solitary confinement and I took the time to really get into the right headspace.”

    You mean for the whole five minutes she was in there??

    “I did my time and I respect the law.”

    I can’t even!

    This interview is comedy gold. She always talks about how she wants to prove that she’s a reliable hard working actress but she never actually DOES it. It’s all crackie talk.

    Same sh*t different day.

  17. Franny says:

    It’s like I want to believe her, but I don’t want to be disappointed again. We are almost the same age, yet she looks 20 years older

  18. serena says:

    Shall we talk about the line ‘ I respect the law’?
    LOOL
    And the advice she would give to her young self?
    Double LOOL

  19. Neelyo says:

    Wow. She still doesn’t get that everyone is laughing at her. I’m sure LIZ & DICK will bring in the ratings and Lohan will believe its a testament to her star power and acting prowess no matter how bad the reviews.

    And hasn’t she been giving this same interview since HERBIE RELOADED?

  20. SmokeyBlues says:

    How is it possible for her to look OK at the GMA interview and then look like the walking dead only one day later?!? For real, explain that to me. It like two different people!

  21. emmie_a says:

    I don’t know if she is a good actress — maybe she was at some point? — but besides her obvious personal issues, one reason she won’t get jobs in the future is because she looks like crap. Her face is such a distraction. I tried watching her Jay Leno interview but my focus was on her overblown lips, her double chin, her chipmunk cheeks and wondering how her face even moved because when it does move it just looks downright wrong.

  22. The Original Mia says:

    That’s going to be a loooooong wait.

  23. Preacher'sDaughter says:

    Even if she managed to get her shit together her physical appearance would prevent her from working in serious films. She needs to take a look at the actresses who get nominated for Academy Awards. Young or old, beautiful or plain, Oscar-nominated actresses don’t tend to look like plastic surgery freaks. An actress should be able to play the part of a “regular” person. Her augmented features are too distracting for her to be believable playing most characters.

    • Alita says:

      If body dysmorphia is obsessing over perceived imperfections, what is the incorrect perception of ones self as unadulterated physical beauty called? Aside from arrogance and vanity? I think LiLo thinks that she is a siren and a brilliant actor, so I don’t believe she would understand the issue you correctly point out.

  24. Skins says:

    An Oscar is a noble goal, however, you have to be able to act to win an Oscar, and she literally cannot act her way out of a paper bag. Even in her “heyday” she was terrible, but she was the hot young thing and she sold tickets. Now with her melting face and crackvoice she is a joke and that is her main selling point. Lifetime knew what they were getting into but they know ratings are high for trainwrecks so they hired her. Love how she is living under the delusion that she is some kind of serious actress. Linds, the only reason people are watching is to see how bad you are.

  25. deb says:

    Lilo will win an Oscar? ? Sure…. And Kstew will win one too #sarcasm

  26. emily says:

    Wow! Does she seriously think people believe that she’s been completely sober on every set? L. O. L.! And if by some minuscule chance she wasn’t drunk or high at work (although I doubt it) she was either going through a hangover “on set” or in the hospital with “exhaustion” from partying the night before. Didn’t a producer chew her out on Georgia Rule, because of her lack of professionalism “on set” and incessant partying? Holy selective memory, Batman! She really is cray. And if she wants to stop being the troubled starlet, it’s simple: stop going to clubs. The end.

    As for her advice to her 16 year old self: she should tell her past, present, and future selves to never drive again. Driving while being idiotic started her legal issues, and it’s the reason she’s going back to jail now. She should just stay in the privacy of her own crack house to do her illegal/dumb s#it so she can stop getting caught by the police and getting arrested.

  27. Jayna says:

    I keep saying it, she can’t act. She lives off her tween years and teen years. Mean Girls she was good for what the part required. Georgia Rules plays a surly teen. Next she moves into that thriller where she was a twin and a psycho is taking off limbs of victims. Lindsay’s acting was soooooo wooden, so bad. I couldn’t believe what a bad actress she was. She needs acting lessons pronto. The reviews of her acting on Liz and Dick are bad. Instead of drugging, partying and stealing, why not go back to your craft and learn it as an adult?

  28. Jenna says:

    I’m going to go out on a limb and say I think she’ll win an Oscar for Best Actress the same year that Kellan Lutz wins the Oscar for Best Actor. I’m going to start taking bets now. Any takers?

  29. logan says:

    I can never quite figure out if she is going for the pathetic vote or the delusional vote or the sympathy vote or the addict vote or the shame vote or the product of a broken home vote or excon vote. But it sure as he** isn’t the best actor vote.

  30. Melissa says:

    I know its not a popular opinion, but given what her parents are like are you really surprised she turned out this way? I realize that a lot of people have been through a situation like that, and NOT turned into a crackie but not everyone deals with things the same way.

    A lot of people self medicate with alcohol and drugs when they have a lot of psychological problems and don’t know how to deal with it. I think if she addressed a lot of what she’s probably trying to repress in a professional setting she’d probably be able to kick her ‘bad habits’. I, personally belive that no ones without the possiblity of redemption. She just truly has to WANT it, and DO it. Not just talk about it.

    • Jenna says:

      I can totally understand where you are standing with that (and also know in my cynical little heart you are a better person then I am and have a truly kind heart) but… I just can’t with her anymore. And in my case, it isn’t the drugs, the legal issues, the inability to be any shade of professional. Yes, her parents SUCK on epic and vast levels. But there comes a time when, as an adult, however bad mommy and daddy where – it’s on you. It’s your choice, your walk, your soul.

      I’ve known too many friends who have lived through absolute hell. Abuse – physical, sexual, emotional, drug/drink, all of it. It’s tough to even feel pity for someone who, quite literally has been given a thousand free passes and a thousand advantages and handholdings when I know folks who live good and productive lives who had nothing but themselves, and made a choice to get their own butts out of hell. One friend was born addicted to crack AND meth, her mom started giving her away to various dealers to cover her debts at 6, no clue who her dad is. She was abused and abased and degraded in every way. Her teachers failed her, her community failed her. She should be either dead – or a junkie turning tricks on her way to dead. Or at least in jail. Instead? Medschool. Married. Stable. And dealing with what she had to. No producers to give her wads of cash. No legal team to cover her ass. No mouthpieces to shine up her image.

      Lindsay has far passed the point where her mess is anyone’s fault but her own. She wants the fame, the money, the power, the attention more then her own soul and will never take a step away from the lure of celebrity. Sad to say… but it’s not the bed made by her family, her genetics, her bad luck. She’s now at the point where it is well and truly, no matter what happens now, ALL on her own head what comes next.

  31. lucy2 says:

    What she would tell her 16-year-old self: “Don’t drink and drive. And be careful who you surround yourself with.”

    She needs to tell her 26 year old self that too, apparently.

  32. MonicaQ says:

    I didn’t even read the article; all I had to do was read the headline and started weezing like I was having an asthma attack because I was laughing so hard while trying to keep quiet.

    Oh wow, thanks for that this morning, m’am. Never ceases to amaze.

  33. Shelly says:

    I think Lindsay could act when she was a child and teen. However, she hasn’t acted much in years, she doesn’t take lessons or hone her craft, and she obviously is delusional about the current state of her “acting” abilities. From the previews I’ve seen of her movies coming out, she is extremely rusty and not believable in any way. Yes, she can still act better than I could, but that isn’t saying much, as I do not act for a living, lol. She needs to stop with the Oscar talk, it makes her sound stupid, and just get serious and take some acting lessons. I also think she lacks self awareness, so I don’t think that helps her much when trying to connect to a character. She has a lot of work to do if she wants to be a working actress again. But I’m not sure she’s willing to put in the work since she is delusional most of the time.

    • The Original Tiffany says:

      Did you see her on SNL? She can’t even read a cue card believably. Liz and Dick trailer? Awful. The Canyons? Hilarious.
      Even in Mean Girls, she was outshone by all the other girls. She plays the same character over and over. She isn’t fit mentally or physically to work as an actor and she surely doesn’t have the chops.

  34. kee80 says:

    Um, did she just throw Liz Taylor under the bus? Why yes, yes she did.

  35. OriginalMe says:

    WTF is she wearing? A green mock turtleneck with a gold necklace? Is it 1985? Her hair, clothes, and makeup are always bad.

  36. apsutter says:

    Yes the bitch who destroyed her face and can barely get hired is going to get an Oscar. Riiiiiight. I love how she says she’s reliable when she was even causing drama on the set of a made for tv movie.

  37. Krissie says:

    I think the biggest delusion here is tha she respects the law…oh really? Do you now linds?

  38. apsutter says:

    Also, people who spew that bullshit about living without regrets are total morons. It’s impossible to live your entire life without a single regret and in her case I would bet she has tons. Feeling regret isn’t a bad thing. It means you experienced some kind of loss or you realize that you messed something up. Coming to terms with regret helps you grow as a person and to avoid making the same mistakes over and over. Which is why this bitch will never learn or grow up. Would it kill her to be introspective and examine the wasteland that her life has become for a minute?

    • Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

      THANK-YOU!!!!!!!

      I haven’t read the rest of the post yet, but I always cringe when people say they have no regrets. Horseshit. Anyone who says that even semi-believeably has studied in the Stanislavski Institution. Oh, he WAS an institution, not in one? I’m sorry, I’ve got to be more careful about the Sally Hurricanes with I associate. Oh, I have great regard for Spermacelli’s ‘Manner’, but it’s really draining because as an actress, I don’t take half-measures, I immerse myself fully and that’s why I can only go far with Savonor–um, *his* Manner acting. I’m too sensitive, I feel it all. You know, when Liz Taylor did Butterfield 8, she didn’t go the whole way, wheras I became a full-time working girl over the last seven years–as preparation for a raw, gamey feature that be my winning performance. I really just want to move forward, that’s why people issue declartions of forgiveness to the erstwhile doubters in their acceptance speeches, they do it to ‘I forgive you’.

      No, anyone with ‘no regrets’ has:

      A) Damned nerve
      B) Self-Reflextion Deficiency Disorder
      C) Not yet received his or her full comeuppance
      D) A steady and discreet supply
      E) Been unknowingly pulling a Rip Van Winkle
      F) Full-time and official whipping boy staff
      G) Never watched a Lindsay Lohan film
      H) Never heard a Lindsay Lohan song
      I) Never looked in a mirror (or hers)
      J) Campaigned for an ultimatly lost Oscar
      K) Never been a Marmont chambermaid
      L) Never been LL’s passenger
      M) Sat through a history of the Lohan-Pylon War
      N) Never been LL’s lawyer
      O) Never been LL’s sober minder
      P) Never been water that LL thought was vodka
      Q) Never hired LL for women’s shelter service
      R) Never been LL’s neglected bra
      S) Never sat through Ben Affleck’s self-pity
      T) Never been Ben Affleck’s wife
      U) No month-long US-style turkey grab in Canada
      V) Never sat through dull, trite Fight Club
      W) Not been TMZ’s crotch shot correspondent
      X) Never stood up to the Crack Pant Lobby
      Y) Not mixed off-brand into LL’s pure organic coke
      Z) Heard of the Lohan family

      Part Hashtag Z: The Re-Sequelling: Asked LL for her definition of ‘erstwhile’.
      I’m pure class, aren’t I? Can’t wait to hear RiRi and Breezy (whatever that means) Thanksgiving opus, ‘Stuffing: It’s Gettin’ Hot In That Moist, Dark Hole’ and its remix, ‘Got Some Cream For That Pie’

      Happy Thanksgiving, America, and may all of your gravy-soaked familial aggressions be passive.

      I’m hungry and jealous.

  39. BengalCat2000 says:

    @TheOriginalTiffany, Sounds groovy! I’ll bring the munchies & dress like a ho for Uncle Terry ;)

  40. Anna says:

    On the advice that I’d give her sixteen year old self: Get some new parents. The current ones are broken.

    Her parents messed her up but good, but she’s 26 and it’s time for her to start listening to what basically everybody except her crack-enablers are saying and realize that she isn’t living in reality. If she really wants to be taken seriously again she needs to stop partying or going out for a year. Try to find some little indie film that needs the publicity, and do the best job she can do and be an angel on set. Nobody believes her anymore, she has to show it, if she can.

  41. Ms Kay says:

    And The Academy Award for best “I Believe My Own Hype deluded predictions about Oscar win” line goes to : LiLo 1 – Kellan Lutz 0

  42. silver says:

    “I respect the law.” like the time you had “F*ck You” oh-so-discreatly painted on your finger & sat in court facing the judge with that finger on your lips? yeah, that wasn’t obvious at all or anything. way to respect the law.

  43. kimcheee says:

    The timelines are splitting and LiLo will be going in a different direction than those of us who can see reality.

  44. all of you all you can do is sit behind a computer and spew out hate….sadsad….she is a very good actress. keep going lindsay :) )

    • Dawning Red says:

      Absolutely agree with this post. For Lindsay to say “I did my time and I respect the law” without immediately going into fits of laughter proves the lady can put on quite a performance.

      • Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

        So, it’s a bunch of anonymous commenters using their Village Of The Damned-style mind powers to robb her of free will and force her to commit crimes.

        I can only assume that these are sophmoric trolls made past bedtime, but I’m still going to go fully humourless and pedantic because some stuff doesn’t merit a pass, no $atter the intent.

        I got hit-and-run (at SCHOOL) by a feckless skank like and guess who got off completely and guess who is still racked with chronic pain and limps and iss full of subdermal scar tissue that’s turned that one into a functioning insomniac decades later? The worst part is that I’m not unique and people end up serving a life sentence for what other did them. And I’m on the lucky end.

        I had a life until some stupid, thoughtless bitch slammed through a red light and ruined it. If anyone out there wants to defend drunk driving you can have your baffling infatuation, but if you think that demonizing law-abiders who know full well that she regularly endangers lives with alacrity, I can’t imagine what you could possibly say to turn people around. God help you if you indulge in what you defend. God help us all. At the very least anyone can feel free to pay for all the therapy and pain management costs I’ve paid over these many years.

  45. molly says:

    Most of these people sitting behind the computer NEED A LIFE. Lindsay’s got one!

  46. Lexi says:

    Its so sad she was such a pretty girl, she hasnt taken very good care of herself

  47. Alex says:

    Is everyone gonna be honest if she does a good job lol? ;)

  48. palermo says:

    I have as much chance at getting an Oscar as she does …

  49. TheBurglar says:

    With her rap sheet of robbery, DUIs, vehicular assault, lying to the police, possession of narcotics and rumors of high profile prostitution, the academy of motion picture arts and sciences would not even invite her to the oscars. Everyone likes a good comeback story, but she would have to be good and clean for 15 or so years (like Rourke or Downey), and at this rate, sadly, she won’t live that long.

  50. TheBurglar says:

    Everyone likes a good comeback story, but she would have to be good and clean for 15 or so years (like Rourke or Downey), and at this rate, sadly, she won’t live that long. Plus, an ugly guy can pull it off (Rourke), but not so many ugly ass women in hwood.

    • Helena says:

      Yeah, if she doesn’t clean up her act by the time she’s 30, she’s cooked. Especially since without fillers, she looks about 32 right now. Hollywood is very unforgiving when it comes to actresses. Any actress still working in her 40s and 50s behaved herself as a young actress (Sigourney Weaver, Susan Sarandon) or else came to Hollywood later on (Julianne Moore)

  51. TheBurglar says:

    Everyone likes a good comeback story, but she would have to be good and clean for 15 or so years (like Rourke or Downey), and at this rate, sadly, she won’t live that long.

  52. TheBurglar says:

    Everyone likes a good comeback story, (like Rourke or Downey), but that takes too long. She is on the fast track to game over.

  53. paranormalgirl says:

    She’s finally getting her act together: “I think people need to forget the mess that I am and remember that it’s someone else’s fault anyway, not mine.”

    She wants kids: “Those are small people right? Yeah, kids would be fun. They can run to the store and get cigs and vodka, right? No? Then I’d rather have a dog.”

    Love and Oscars: “I think I slept with Oscar once. He was that old guy with the spray tan, right? I loved his money.”

    She regrets nothing, because she her struggles make her a better actress: “[I regret] nothing, because nothing is my fault. Why should I regret something that I didn’t do?”

    Comparing herself to Elizabeth Taylor: “Elizabeth was drunk on sets. I’ve never been drunk on set, ever. High, yes. Drunk, no. I did my time and I respect the law, unless I don’t agree with the law in which case, I flip it the bird and do what I want. There’s no consequences anyway.”

    Lockup: “As hard as it was for me to admit it when I was in denial, it was a blessing in disguise,” she said of her stint behind bars. “I mean, I got to make up a lot of stories in my head about who is responsible for everything I’ve ever done wrong in my life.”

    Comparing herself to Marilyn Monroe: “Marilyn Monroe went to an institution and said, ‘I may not belong here like the world thinks I do, but I might as well take what I can get here and use it and help other people.’ I think that’s what everyone should take from those experiences. Unless you’re me, in which case, it’s someone else’s fault and MOVE THAT MED CART, I’M LINDSAY LOHAN!!! What was I saying?”

    What she would tell her 16-year-old self: “Make sure if you get caught drinking and driving and stealing and knocking over babies with your car, that you surround yourself with people you can blame.”

  54. Tuxedo Cat says:

    At this rate, I’m very afraid she isn’t going to live long enough to win an Oscar.

  55. Ella says:

    No regrets! But she would tell her 16-year-old self: “Don’t drink and drive. And be careful who you surround yourself with.”