Jessica Simpson in a robe and high heels

Jessica Simpson looks like an Asian hooker the morning after in this weird patchwork robe she wore out on the streets of Miami with her maybe-boyfriend, John Mayer. The girl needs a nice little skirt or pair of pants for this emsemble. It could just be a bikini coverup, though, in which case she would be forgiven if she had on flip flops instead of tottering heels with an ankle strap. A day at the beach would also explain her hair. She still looks better than Britney on a good day, though.

Jessica has been seen out at Mayer’s Florida concerts and the press is going wild with the news of their relationship. Her incompetent stylist recently confirmed that Jessica will be touring with Mayer for two and a half weeks, and said “As you all know she is with her boyfriend. She is happy happy happy…”

How long is it going to take before Mayer kicks her to the curb?

Jessica’s breathy crap single, “A Public Affair” has just been released in the UK, where reviews are lukewarm.

Thanks to Sweet for these pictures.

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14 Responses to “Jessica Simpson in a robe and high heels”

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  1. lyric says:

    God help her.

  2. Bex says:

    She comes off as way too naive for celebrity.

  3. Maritime says:

    Is she actually dressed or is that cover up? Either way, please go away JS.

  4. Alex says:

    It’s beginning to remind me of TomKat, the way she’s always trailing behind him like a puppy dog

  5. ER says:

    She and Britney are the reason blondes get a bad rap….Paris doesn’t help either!

  6. kailie2 says:

    I look at her and I wonder if this is what you get when your life is about your perfect hair and boobs and keeping yourself “innocent” until marriage.. once all of that is played out, there is nothing else to fall back on. She’ll be trailing a man like a puppy dog for the rest of her life. I actually like JS but she reeks of desperation and stupidity–if she doesn’t free herself from her daddy, how long before she’s in Playboy or doing infomercials? Oh, wait.. never mind!

  7. Action says:

    I agree with all the comments, but DAMN her legs look great!!!

  8. alexi says:

    Action I am glad you like grrls with some meat on them, as to me she looks like a young Charlene Tilton. I think the garb, the shreds o cloth or the ferragamo scarf posing as a robe plus the hooker PLS JOHN F ME HEELS was to get some free publicity. God, the desparation of it all. If only Tennessee Williams was alive to write a play about it…

  9. Iva says:

    Is Jessica doing porn now – because it looks like she is in-between takes.

    Nick should be so grateful he got rid of her.

  10. mimosa says:

    Nice legs

  11. alexi says:

    Totally agee Iva, Nick looks v happy with MV…

  12. cypress says:

    I think her moron genes kicked in .. there is no going back to moral stability.

  13. Action says:

    It’s more the muscle tone than the meat. I like seeing women who have ‘fit’ bodies, not ‘skinny’ ones. That means they are actually eating and getting exercise because it’s really hard to have muscle if they AREN’T eating.

    Models scare me, honestly. I don’t know how their thighs can be the same size diameter as their knees.

    I’d give anything to have Jessica’s legs, but I’ll passon her sense of… errr… style.

  14. Raven says:

    Ok….all you guys from the dirty south…….What do you expect from someone from TX?…..Unless your fashionably gifted, from Dallas or Houston, you probably don’t even have the means to coordinate clothes. I recently moved to TX from NY and let me tell you about the sights I have seen. I should take pics for Glamour’s DONT’S because I’d probably win every month. People here are literally 6-10 yrs behind. The robe she’s wearing I could make AMAZING. Pair `it with leggings, tights, or skinny’s….and it would be so hot!!! Give this hick from TX a break. If you lived here and were fashionably retarded and lacking a stylist, most likley you couldn’t dress yourself either.Help me!!!! I’m homesick and sooooooooooooo….out of my element!!