John Mayer tries to avoid Katy Perry questions, calls it ‘a private relationship’

John Mayer

John Mayer will appear on today’s episode of “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” to promote his upcoming album, Born and Raised, and … poor Ellen. I know she puts on a bright and shiny face for all of her guests (and there will be dancing), but you know even Ellen must have deduced the douche at some point when it comes to John. Anyway, John will perform on the show, which will mark his first television gig in three years since he began to suffer from a throat granuloma. John’s kind of switching his story in this interview though, which confuses me because now he’s saying that half of his problem was actually acid reflex from drinking too much alcohol. Who knows. I just always find it strange that singers will drink and smoke into oblivion when those are two of the worst things they can do to prematurely ruin their voices and livelihoods.

Fortunately, Ellen also put John on the hot seat a little bit by asking him about his breakup with Katy Perry. As Ellen mentions, she and Katy are friends, so she wasn’t going to let him get away without at least discussing the issue a little bit. Also, what else does John really have to talk about in his life? One of the theories for their breakup was that John was only using Katy to keep his name in the press, and it’s still working. Here are some excerpts and a clip of John’s chat with Ellen:

On his breakup with Katy Perry: “Listen, it was a very private relationship going in. It was a private relationship during and it’s a private relationship, still. I can understand asking the question based on some previous answers I have given but I have finally learned how to put the wall between one thing and the other. I’ve been much happier since then. I’m on the same journey as everyone else. Coupling is a tricky thing.”

On recovering from his acid reflux (?): “Yeah, that’s half of it. Half of it is over use and singing and singing and singing. The other stuff is you know, what you put into your body. And, I’m getting to that age now your body doesn’t just shake everything off and it didn’t help that I really loved, love, loved scotch. It’s just like applying poison to your body. It’s like applying a shellac of poison. It’s just delicious, wonderful poison. That makes you not care how late you’re out till or where you’re going but I had to really say I like signing and writing more than I like delicious scotch so I had to really dial it down. And, I’m a little more boring now.”

[From The Ellen DeGeneres Show]

Of course John is calling this a “private relationship” now even though he didn’t mind bragging about it in Rolling Stone a few months ago. This is the same guy who felt the need to tell the paps that he was the one who dumped Jennifer Aniston, so his “privacy” excuse just doesn’t wash. Katy should be glad to be rid of John’s douche stench, but sadly, I’m pretty sure that she’d take him back if he came running. What’s the attraction though? I’ll never understand it.

John Mayer

John Mayer

John Mayer

Photos courtesy of Michael Rozman/Warner Bros and WENN

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37 Responses to “John Mayer tries to avoid Katy Perry questions, calls it ‘a private relationship’”

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  1. andy says:

    He could be a farmer in those clothes.

  2. anoneemouse says:

    The long “Nancy” hair needs to go. Now.

  3. Joanna says:

    wtf is the attraction to this guy? he looks like a moron to me. not hot AT ALL

  4. Krista says:

    What is his secret? Big c@ck? Charming personality? It’s one of the biggest mystery for me next to Bermuda triangle and fascination of Brangelina.

  5. Thiajoka says:

    Third picture from the bottom: has he been to a Ren Fair? He looks like he’s dangerously close to doing the Safety Dance.

  6. diva says:

    I never understood his appeal either. His music is overrated too. You figure women would run in the opposite direction of this guy

  7. PinkyTuscadero says:

    oh my god, puh-leaze, john mayer. the whole “I’m the new neil young” thing is so stupid and poser-y. i knew neil young (okay i didn’t. but i still know you are no neil young). y’all should read the article in rolling stone about born and raised (which is an uneven album, with great [the one with the long jazzy riff] and bad songs [love is a verb? so is vomit].) in the course of the interview, he says he has to throw up when the reporter asks him to confront his own past ocmments about sex napalm and kkk dick. what? this is the most trauma you’ve suffered? ptsd from your own stupid mouth? then he says that, in his effort to shed the johnny hollywood image, he called a real estate agent and said “i want a place with a neil young vibe” and she found his house in montana. dude, i bet he doesn’t even KNOW what about that whole thing would be repulsive to hard-working people with authenticity.

    • skyler1 says:

      That’s the article where he whines about Taylor Swift writing a song about him, isn’t it? He was boo-hooing throughout the whole thing.

      • PInkyTuscadero says:

        That’s the one. “I slept with an eighteen year old and dumped her and I cannot BELiEVE she wrote a song about it. She seemed so MATURE what with her ringlets and all. I guess she just has to learn that mature relationships require discretion. And urine. And gaymporn. And napalm.”

  8. janie says:

    I think Katy loves quirky guys & he qualifies.

  9. BreeinSEA says:

    Le douche

  10. ZigZagZoey says:

    Did she ask why he is trying to look like a damn forest ranger?
    That stupid ass hat. Or that that stupid Asshat….Take your pick…
    I can’t stand him. He always looks literally dazed and confused making him very unintelligent looking…

  11. Daisybell says:

    I had the same throat condition, had to get my nodules removed. It was caused by voice strain and….acid reflux. Turns out acid creeping up your throat and touching your vocal chords is quite damaging.
    He’s still a douche though.

  12. lucy2 says:

    To semi-borrow a line from Raylan Givens, that’s a 10 gallon hat on a 20 gallon douche.

  13. madpoe says:

    Its a “private relationship” until I write a song about it or she does.

  14. Rhiley says:

    He and Ashton Kutcher are about the same imo: way of speaking; same way of dressing; same level of talent; spout the same pseudointellectual bullpoop.

  15. Steph says:

    This guy just oozes douchiness.

  16. erika says:

    hey….HEY! hey ‘pirate man’ arghhh matey, yer a right UGLY bloke!

    what’s the attraction?

    the aromathera-pukish stench of scotch/cigarette scented sweat that reeks from open pores (lack of bathing) mixed w/ the acidic aftertaste derived from actually inserting your tongue into his most obnoxious orifice..his FAT mouth….

    now, now, THAT’S the attraction!

  17. Andrea says:

    He is just trying to save himself so the other naive women who get on his dong don’t realize what a douche he is.

  18. KellyinSeattle says:

    He’s an idiot ass, plain and simple.

  19. Carolyn says:

    Hehe thanks for posting that “Pirate John” photo.

    He will always be Super Duper Cooper (pooper scooper) in my eyes. Just no.

    Good decision Katy!