Justin Bieber covers the May issue of Teen Vogue because, well, the magazine certainly knows its own demographic. As always, a photoshoot with Bieber involves the teen dreamer posing like a heartthrob, but surely, there’s no willing audience for that here, right? Pull up your pants, kid. With the headline, “Justin’s Crazy Year,” the interview is of course an exercise in delusion at the hand of a kid who skyrocketed to worldwide stardom at a very early age while no one can possibly tell him what to do. From Bieber’s own words, it’s clear that he believes he’ll be around for quite awhile, and he’s very cocky about it. Sadly (and yes, it is sad), Bieber’s already on a swift path towards a meltdown all while tweeting about being “blessed“. Now he’s telling Teen Vogue that God made him a pop star “not just because I’m talented but so that he can help people. Here we go:
He loves social media: “My Twitter is really nice. I have so many fans that I rarely ever see a nasty tweet. I don’t read YouTube comments because those can get you sad. I see so much stuff on the Internet, sometimes I just want to go to Twitter and just go after people. But then I just think twice: If someone is dissing me, I’m going to make this person way more famous by tweeting them.”
On his song “Yellow Raincoat”: It started as a warm-up guitar riff–it’s got that Tracy Chapman meets Eric Clapton vibe. When I heard it I thought it was brilliant. In the studio, I said something that sounded like ‘raincoat,’ and I liked it. I was thinking of what I was going through. The raincoat is a metaphor for putting up a wall, not letting anyone affect what I do, because I know who I am and what type of person I am. It doesn’t matter what they say, I’ve got this yellow raincoat covering me.”
On his strong religious beliefs: “I think that’s part of the reason I’m here. Not just because I’m talented, but because God had a purpose for me to just help people. I’m spiritual … although I slept in [and missed] church yesterday. I haven’t been to church in so long, and I planned on going, and I slept in. I was upset. It’s all good. God forgives me.”
Don’t believe the rumors of his awful behavior: “I don’t need to address every speculation. Remember when Cam’ron dissed Jay-Z? Jay-Z didn’t even respond. Why didn’t he respond, because he’s Jay-Z.”
[From Teen Vogue]
Uh, where to begin? At first, I was going to get on the Bieb’s case about favorably comparing himself to Jay-Z, but I feel like that would be shooting fish in a falsetto bucket. Bieber will never be a music industry mogul. For now, he can sing songs that other people have written, and maybe he’ll end up trying his hand at production once all of his current fans grow up, but he’ll never be as successful at spinning gold on his own as Jay-Z.
What actually makes me shake my head is Bieber’s insistence that God made him famous so that he can help people. Aside from well-executed photo ops of Bieber visiting his fans in the hospital, what has Bieber done to “help” anyone? Every bit of his do-gooding is aimed at preserving what little “good boy” image he has left. Does he think his voice or his live performances help people in a genuine way? Then perhaps he could show up on time for his concerts. Just a thought.
Meanwhile, this photoshoot continues to be hilarious. Aww, look. Biebs is climbing the monkey bars! Just like his former pet.
Photos courtesy of Teen Vogue
I really like the part: “I know who I am, and I’m very much in control.”
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
and hahahahahahahahahahaha
That kid! I rolled my eyes too. Who at 19 – or any age for that matter – completely knows who they are and is in control of it? Kid, please.
Why yes of course, an omnipotent diety of questionable existence -with little else to do obviously -had to have created a small pouty pop star of questionable talent. It makes perfect sense.
+1
Just when I thought there was no proving god…Justin Bieber exists!
What a useless little douche.
totally.^
its going to be an awkward day when his balls drop and he cuts that voice change…..itll be like a bad SNL skit. (which is kind of what he is, pop star pre dick-in-the-box days.)
Will his balls ever drop? Will his beard ever grow? Will puberty ever hit him? I honestly believe this kis was injected with shots of puberty inhibitors by the music execs as to keep him looking prepubescent and making money off the most easily influenceable audiences, preteens, forever & ever.
Agreed. Arrogant little brat. The part where he says he’s like Jay Z, made me laugh out loud. The way I see it is when you are something or your possess certain characteristics, you don’t have to convince the world.
The photo shoot is funny though.
I totally agree. His 15 minutes were up hours ago.
Hahahahahaha Hahahahahaha Hahahahahaha (dies from laughter.)
Hubris, your name is Justin bieber.
Oh, and tell Hubris to GO HELP HIS POOR PET MONKEY!!
“… a purpose for me to just help people.”
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Because 120lb runts who have a sickening sense of entitlement and a terrible attitude have of course been ordained by God to help others.
Listen brat, when you start opening girls schools in Afghanistan instead of churning out hideous music for your lunatic fans to obsess over, then we can talk.
Until then, SIT DOWN.
/rant over.
Well, he did help me get my first laugh of the day…well done, douche boy!
I was thinking the same thing as well, brin.. heehee…..
Me too!
*slow clap* Well said!
Lol, that sums it up perfectly.
Ummm, read the Bible much Mr. Bieber?
Seems you need to do some work on yourself before you start helping others. God forgives, yes he does. But that doesn’t give you a free pass to continue down the path you are on.
THIS is what drives me crazy about so many celebrities that say they’re Christians. I consider myself to be one, although not a very good one. My main focus is trying to be a good person to everyone, even when I absolutely cannot stand them. I try and help out around my house, try to help people…but Justin Bieber is just ugh…..
I think because his mom made him go to church when he was younger, because it makes him seem tame and safe to the parents of his fans, he says he’s a Christian. Because, trust me, I’ve met a lot of people who say they’re Christians, but are really only concerned if you’re in church and seeming like you’re doing the right thing.
I would prefer that a Christian dress and behave like Coco Austin (Ice-T’s wife), than like the Biebs. In fact, I hope when I grow up I can be just like Coco, right down to the bikinis. If he actually acted like he gave a damn about anyone but himself and maybe his friends, maybe we’d all give him a pass on his questionable talent and his penchant for having his pants at his knees with no shirt…does he think that’s his sexy look?
Justin Bieber is the epitome of the talk the talk, but doesn’t walk the walk. I may not pay much attention in church, but above all charity is the thing..meaning love for others, no matter what they’ve done.
Ugh, he’s such an idiot.
how is being a self-indulgent pop star with a perfume and nail polish line “helping” people?
That’s the sad thing. He could be using his money and donating to worthy causes, and using his “fame” (no matter how fleeting) to drum up promotion…I’d have a lot more respect for him (especially if it was genuine), as I’m sure all of us on this site would to.
Why does the kid have his necklace in his mouth in every freakin’ pic!!!!???
C’mon, we were all kids once – he’s teething.
Baby teeth hurt, y’all 😉
Hahahahah! Someone should photoshop a pacifier into his mouth.
Lmfao.
haha so true….he´s a baby….
cross necklace = pacifier?
Photo shop it in his mouth on the pic of the bodygaurd/carseat photo! That would be perfecto!
There, there, baby. No need to cry anymore.
http://tinypic.com/r/28jiqg/6
It’s alright, I’m just really bored at work.
Gabriella — Awesome work! Bravo! He looks so relaxed with that binky.
Oh my god Gabriella, you’re great! Hahahahahahahah!
So spiritual he eats gold crosses for breakfast – get that cross out if your foul mouth. Ugh – this kid needs to grow up.
The worst thing is I think they used the cross for a cigarette substitute.
He really is pathetic isn’t he. He actually believes he has talent for one. His fall is going to be hard and the way he is blowing through money he will be working at a fast food chain in no time. I like how he is pretending he actually wrote a song by saying a word that sounded like raincoat WTF?
Zooleiber does Blue Steel.
I thought his expression was more like catching him while he’s trying to solve a math problem in his head. Either way, it’s not a good look.
When he’s a bankrupted has-been, will that be “God’s plan,” too?
Yes, because that’s God’s actual plan. He just can’t see that part.
LOL! Hilarious!
I can’t stand him. Feel mercifully like his expiration date is near, in 3, 2, 1…It’s Hammer Time and Ice Ice Baby!!!!
Overblown illusions of grandeur and a monkey.
Someone is going for MJ 2.0.
Actually, it would be a hybrid of MJ and LL. I can’t believe how his fame went to his brain. sycophants and paid staff have totally made him believe his is God’s gift to the earth.
I don’t know if the new Pope has had his official picture taken yet, but if he hasn’t, he should totally pose with a cross necklace between his teeth. That would make him so popular.
She’s cute in the pictorial. Lol
And here we go again .. Another ego driven little boy! He is not the first out of control kid & won’t be the last! Yawnnnnnn!
Why does she always look confused?
He’s adopted that fake innocent look street thug kids use when they case a neighborhood. It only works on the wearer.
+1
For someone who has it all figured out, he sure does look like…well, like he’s always trying to figure something out. Probably has to do with fractions.
All in all he’s just another tool in the shed …
I must of missed how him making tons of money for crappy music, was somehow helping people.
Biebs is kicking ass in Fug Madness lol, I hope he goes all the way!
I’m rooting for him as the first male Fug Champion! Well, “male” could be a stretch. But you know what I mean.
Ha! I haven’t followed Fug Madness for a few years but just went to check it out. I can’t belieb its the Bieber vs the Cracken. Am totally torn!
Hmmm…could end in a tie between those two messes.
He is the worst posture. Straighten up for God’s sake!
Messiah complex, much? Here are the facts of the case, kiddo – YOU are a perpetually prepubescent a-hole who is a nanosecond away from running out of your 15 minutes.
What you call “talent” is known by the rational world as ‘Autotune’ and ‘Marketing campaign’.
That some omnipotent, omniscient deity had a purpose for you is so flimsy a hypothesis that it can blown apart by two simple facts
1) You haven’t figured out how to wear adult pants yet
2) For someone blessed by “god”, you haven’t been able to grow any facial hair yet.
Now, here’s what you do. It’s called ‘Sodding off’. Just step back from the interviews and sod off. Okay, pumpkin?
+1
Couldn’t have said it better meself!!
As an American, I really wish I could say the phrase “sod off” without sounding like a fool. It is so cute and pissy all at the same time!
He and whatshisface, Will Smith’s kid, do that scrunch up the forehead thing all the time when posing. I think they like the forehead wrinkling, makes em look older and tougher. Or like Luke Perry.
It’s their best attempt at James Dean.
Yes. He’s studied pics of James Dean & is attempting that pensive, tortured & misunderstood expression. All of these photos are a scream, but I like especially the second one in black & white, with Beebs looking down at the ground as if to figure out where his pants have gone.
This face drives me crazy!! They look like confused monkeys..except that’s an insult to monkeys lol
I suppose Jesus directed him to fondle his fan’s breast during a photo op?
Well God sent the locusts, storms, floods, frogs etc. to punish the Pharaoh so maybe Biebs is the modern day plague sent by God.
“Not just because I’m talented, but because God had a purpose for me to just help people”
I just cant stop chuckling at this line. His ppl really need to give this kid a wake up call. His “talent” was being a cute kid that attracted 9-10 yr olds, has nothing to do with talent or singing, which he has absolutely none. His voice may have been passable when he was a kid but there was never any “god given talent” with it.
Mouth breather!
And he’s helping those people by spitting on them?
OK,
(Chris Crocker voice)
LEAVE JUSTIN A-LONE!!!
Give ANY 15-year old boy money, fame & screaming girls, mix in a total lack of parental boundaries and surround him with yes-men and in four years’ time this is what you get. Like Lindsay Lohan, he was probably quite a sweet kid once.
Which is not to say that I won’t be laughing like a drain when the inevitable fall from grace occurs…
Another advertisement in tandem with the exposed butt look he favors.
Hahahahahahaha! Wow. Delusions of grandeur indeed.
Looking at all those shots, someone showed him a photo of James Dean in that racing movie. It’s got him written all over it, including the hair.
Either that or he’s going to channel Marlon Brando, get down on his knees, and scream “SELENAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”
Jog on, Beibs. Everyone’s bored with the fake lad poses and your delusional drivel. What you are is a narcissistic little tosser, but life has a way of knocking the rough edges off us all. Until then…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…………
My gawd those pics are hiLARious. I can’t wait for him to tank, get older and be embarrassed by them. Now THAT will be awesome.
Well, I’m glad to hear that’s the purpose, because it sure wasn’t to put out great music.
Ok I’m actually going to defend Bieber a little bit.
So yes the kid’s entitled and delusional. But how could he not be delusional? He’s what? 19? By definition, he’s already self-centered. Add to that the fact that he has all those crazy fans who will follow him all over the world, and scream his name and basically act crazy. I’m sure all the people surrounding him also tell him he’s awesome and super talented. Wouldn’t any teenager start to believe they actually are awesome and so interesting and that God made them famous?
I’m not saying he’s right to believe that shit, and yes it’s insufferable, but it doesn’t surprise me at all. Also Justin doesn’t seem like the brightest kid.
Here’s the deal, if you want adult privileges you have to act like an adult.
Bieber is the most immature, wannabe brat I’ve seen in a long time.
He’s not fooling himself or anyone else.
Even Selena isn’t buying it anymore.
Umm, I’m eighteen and I can guarantee you that I will never act like this in the unlikely event that I ever become a celebrity….if I do, i’ll be giving all you celebitches the FYI on everyone in Hollywood.
It’s all down to parenting. From just what I have heard on here about his mom, she did not raise him right at all. And you can’t even say it’s down to the fact that she was a single mom. Most of my aunts had to raise their kids as single moms, and guess what their kids respect and love them. They make mistakes, yes, but most of them don’t walk around behaving like a douchenozzle.
I’d say she barely raised him before he was famous, and then once he was surrounded by all those people it was done. I mean if I was in his place, my mom would’ve most likely made me wait until I was eighteen for one. Two, I would’ve had to make straight A’s, would’ve had to SAVE all my money (she probably would make me take accounting classes), I most definitely wouldn’t be spending it on idiot cars like he has.
And she most definitely wouldn’t let me walk around with my boobs hanging out….no matter what age. If you’re not at a club, then it isn’t necessary.
Justin Bieber is Lindsey Lohan without the known substance abuse problems…although he has sizzurp, or whatever that crap is called. You can tell where I live, I didn’t hear about that until this site.
I’m 19 and there is no way in h3ll my parents would let me act like that! He’s your typical rich brat, I see them all the time around my campus. (I go to a private school in upstate NY, the trust fund babies are EVERYWHERE.)
Thank god my parents chose to actually raise me instead of just acting like my friend, because if I acted remotely like this kid, I’d want to kick my own butt.
God’s will?
What God?
The God of Jackasses?
I thought good christian boys didn’t fornicate, Race up and down the street, disregard all laws, spit on people etc…
What “church” propogates the nonsense this child does, what “church” Condones his lifestyle?
What a load of unadulterated Bullshit.
He needs to stick a passy in it and go get his diaper changed.
Oh JB, leave God out of it! God’s not a puppet master, and you are certainly not his puppet! You and Westboro Baptist make God look bad.
Nobody makes God look bad. God’s invisible.
If that were true (that nobody makes God look bad), then people wouldn’t hate God and Christians so much. They are supposed to be his representatives, no?
What people that hate God and Christians so much?
You mean Muslims? People hate them and their god (Allah), too.
You mean atheists? Lots of people hate atheists, almost all religious people, in fact.
Hindis? Buddhists? Jews? Nah, they all get along with Christians just fine for the most part. Well, nowadays they do anyway.
Everybody hates someone over an invisible, infallible God, usually because their own invisible, infallible God told them to in a magic book. Take a number, religious hate will be right with you.
Does he know where wearing your pants below your rear end originated?
I don’t know where it originated. Do I want to be enlightened? 🙂
Poorly fitted prison clothing. Check it out at Snopes.com.
Sorry, I had to post and dash. It’s an urban myth that pants off your butt in prison meant that you were sexually available.
LOL! Thanks Lulu!
I really don’t see how he is Teen Vogue’s demographic. The only girls I know who like him are in the 8-10 year old range. My teen and her friends (who all read Teen Vogue) are repulsed by him.
i don’t think he will go bankrupt. he is practicing frugality, at least in these pictures.
he’s like my ma, buying clothes for the kids 4 sizes too big because they grow so quickly, and they’re all jeans and simple tshirt because the monkeybars and sandpits are hell on children’s clothes. plus other children might not be so careful (like his fans).
the only downside of buying clothes 4 sizes too big for a kid named justin, is that he might just reached his max growth, like you buy a baby hippo, after 4 years turns out it’s a pygmy hippo.
What a disgusting little man he is. I just read a dutch news article about the monkey stating that the monkey is just 14 weeks old and that this type of monkey should stay with there mothers until the age of 1. Also the monkey is probably coming to the Netherlands if Bieber is not getting the paperwork in order on time (no way that is going to happen) The foundation that is going to take care of the monkey is already receiving treats from beliebers. Those children need some smacking geezz
Yeah kid, a raincoat is also a nickname for a condom which your parents clearly should have used.
Ugh.
Could he be more full of himself? Sheesh
You know, I hear his music and think, I don’t get the appeal. Then I see pictures like this and remember being a tween obsessed with New Kids on the Block. If I were 10 years old today I would love the Beibs. And I have no doubt his career will have the same long-term success as NKOTB.
(Meaning following his 15 minutes, there will be a backlash, then he’ll become a punch line, then if he’s lucky he’ll be able to be part of a comeback tour with other former pop stars.)
Get that cross out of your mouth, you little fuk.
It’s scary because he totally believes this.
God wants you to pull up your pants. Now!
Hahahah! Bravissima, videli!
That shot of Justin with the cross in his mouth reminds me of Fassy’s GQ shoot where he wore a leather jacket too and held his car keys in his mouth.
Fassy oozed raw sex appeal. Bieber just looks like a wannabe kid.
So much for Bieber using his money and fame to help others. Awhile back, he and his mother promised big money to the Salvation Army in Canada to keep open the unwed mother’s home that Bieb’s mother went to when she was unwed and expecting him. Bieber tweeted his fans to donate, but nothing came through. That was the “extent” of his help.
When the Salvation Army had to close – you know, because of bills and stuff – Bieb’s mother had the audacity to complain about them in the press and say they should have stayed open until her book came out and then she’d have given them proceeds from it. There was something like a year or so between the bills needing to be paid and her stupid book coming out. There was no way they had the funds to keep the home open.
This little twit spends more in one month on stupidity than the Salvation Army would have needed to keep the place going for one year. When asked about it, the Salvation Army was very gracious and said that lots of people promise help, but that they don’t always come through and they have to go with the reality of what they have funding for. Before, I was indifferent to this kid. Now I absolutely can’t stand him or his mother.
Let’s have a Justin Bieber caption contest with the *second* cross-in-the-mouth pic.
I’m going with:
“This photo shoot is taking so LONG!! I need my binkie!!”
[off-camera] “Here, suck on this, kid.”
An odd thought about one of his quotes: “The raincoat is a metaphor for putting up a wall…” …which is also a metaphor, so no ground gained there. 🙂 And if he’d said “is like” it could’ve been a simile comparing two metaphors. 🙂
Thank you! Using a metaphor to explain a metaphor-pretty sure God would smote this kid for that shit.
His necklaces must be very tasty.
Is there such a thing as “reality” rehab where this delusional kid can go? What kind of enablers does he have around him to make him believe he is a gift from God? At the rate he’s going, he won’t see the age of twenty.
Is he trying to channel James Dean?
Hilarous.
He goes for the James Dean but could never pull it off…one, I’m tired of seeing his arched brows all the time; and two, off the topic, but his mom wants to star in “The Bachelorette”…personally, I’d hate to be a guy hooked up with her. Can you imagine being Beiber’s step-dad?
One day, when he’s older and hopefully somewhat wiser, he will cringe at the thought of this interview.
What’s with chewing on his necklace? Is he teething?
Ha! 😀
How is it possible that he’s looking more and more effeminate?
As soon as ur fans grow up and they will very soon everyone will be alll like justin who ? Just like nkotb, nsync, backstreet boys,ect. . Another flash in the pan so enjoy it now while it last justin.
What’s both hilarious and sad is that he thinks those poses and expressions are sexy. Whereas I just see ‘constipated’ and ‘narcissistic douche.’
ugh when will it end? when will “beiber fever” be FINALLY cured???
I don’t usually click on Bieber stories here, but I knew the comments were going to be good and couldn’t resist. Thanks for all the hilarious comments Celebitches! Reading through everyone’s comments has been a great pick-me-up on a day that’s dragging.
He is clearly dillusional. Even Miss Canada said he was a douche. Once the pre-teens fall off the Bieber bandwagon, he’s toast.
STOP SQUINTING AND TRYING TO LOOK SEXY, YOU PANTYWAIST!!!!! EPIC FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!
He’s just so very, very, very unattractive. Yuck!
Ah…so nice to see a young, waifish Mia Farrow posing outdoors…LOL
Seriously. Is this f*cking punk for real? How does selling albums, acting like a little bitch to everyone you consider beneath you and leaving animals you adopt equate to ‘helping’ anyone but yourself??
famous for throw tantrums, looks like a chick! go away you creepy freek