Robert Downey Jr.’s wife, Susan, ‘rules with an iron fist,’ RDJ ‘hears & obeys’

Robert Downey Jr

This story’s title probably sounds a lot worse than the actual text from Enquirer. They claim to have a source who says Robert Downey Jr. is like a little puppy with his overbearing wife, Susan. Once the story gets rolling though, it becomes clear that Susan is only using her wifely influence to keep Robert on the straight and narrow as a recovering drug addict. I believe this story contains a lot of truth. I also think that Robert needs a “pushy” woman in his life to lay down the law and let him know exactly what will happen if he slips up and ends up in some motel with his face in a pile of blow like Tony Montana in Scarface. Here’s the roundabout take from the Enquirer:

Robert Downey Jr

Iron Man 3 star Robert Downey Jr. might be a superhero at work, but back home it’s his wife Susan who rules the roost with an iron fist.

Insiders say she’s so determined to keep her once-troubled hubby on the straight and narrow that she’s laid down the law in their California homes — a $13 million mansion in Malibu and beach house in Venice — and Robert is more than happy to oblige. “Bob hears and obeys,” says a pal. “He credits Susan with his success at staying sober and he totally trusts her judgment.”

Robert, 48, and Susan, 39, a noted executive producer, married in 2005 and have a 16-month-old son, Exton. Before they met, Robert’s life was ruled by his addictions. He was arrested on drug charges multiple times, made several attempts at rehab, and ultimately spent a year in jail for violating probation.

“He’s always credited Susan for helping him finally kick his drug habit,” said the pal. “He knows the worst thing about slipping up would be disappointing her — so he tries not to.”

According to the source, Robert happily does his share of domestic duties to keep their household the way Susan likes it. “Bob has no problem cooking up a meal if Susan’s stuck at work,” the pal revealed. “He’ll go all out too. He’ll put the baby to bed and then set up the table with candles and flowers to welcome her home.”

Susan is so focused on keeping her husband sober, adds the pal, that she’s even banned some of his friends from their home — including Transformers star Shia LaBeouf, who allegedly had a few too many drinks at a party and was hitting on other guests.

“Susan has a one-strike policy,” noted the pal. “She’s not the sort of person you’d want to mess with. She’s a tough film executive, and she runs her home the same way she does her business ventures — efficiently. I wouldn’t go so far as to say Bob’s completely under her thumb, but he certainly does what she says.”

[From Enquirer, print edition, June 23, 2013]

I think that’s a hilarious detail about Shia LaBeouf, who really seems like the sloppy type who can’t hold his liquor and starts throwing punches before you know it. Besides the dangerous aspect of having a heavy drinker around RDJ, I’m sure Susan isn’t impressed by Shia’s new habit of publishing private emails on the internet. No big loss.

Back to the main story though — I don’t see any problem at all with Susan ruling “with an iron fist” if it keeps RDJ out of trouble, and clearly he is grateful for her efforts in doing so and very happy in the marriage in general. RDJ needs Susan, and we need RDJ doing his thing on the big screen, so this is all good.

Robert Downey Jr

Robert Downey Jr

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet

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139 Responses to “Robert Downey Jr.’s wife, Susan, ‘rules with an iron fist,’ RDJ ‘hears & obeys’”

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  1. Micki says:

    PDJ married his domina. Right.

  2. TheyPromisedMeBeer says:

    In other words, Susan Downey is my mom in disguise. Good to know.

    • RHONYC says:

      or, when he initially put his mack down on her she let him know straight up…if you want me, you gonna have to leave that sh*t in the past. ya heard! 😉

    • Merylynn says:

      This is hardly news. I remember when RDJ was promoting the first Iron Man, he and Susan were on Howard Sterns show. They basically said this is the only dynamic that could work for RDJ. She also tells him when to resume therapy, she prefers him to be surrounded by her friends, she sometimes hires a “sober companion” for him when they are apart. She tries not to be apart for longer than 2 weeks, etc etc.

      My only concerns were whether her own needs were being met. Everybody deserves a break from looking after everyone else. Also wouldnt it be tragic if after all she has put into this relationship, the guy just skipped off with some young starlet. I am not saying that all men do this but it is very common. They “rebel” against the perceived authority figure and your left resenting that you focussed the entire marriage on the ungreatful sob. Hopefully RDJ proves me wrong.

      • V4Real says:

        I heard that Stern interview as well and Howard really went in on their sex life. I think it was Iron Man 2 they were promoting. But RDJ said that the therapy thing was his idea; proof that he wanted to make this relationship work. They are an amazing couple and Johnny Depp could learn a thing or two from his friend Robert.

        I remember reading an interview with him when he said when he first met Susan she turned down his advances three times. Once she did accept his invitation for a date and they started to get serious she told him that she was not going to do this dance with him. He was still married on paper to his first wife because he was the one who refused to sign the divorce papers. He said after meeting Susan he started to care and that same year in 2003 he threw all his drugs in the ocean and he finally signed the divorce papers.

      • Marie Antoinette Jr. says:

        Yes. The problem with parent/child relationship within a marriage is that the child inevitably grows up and leaves home.
        If she can’t be flexible as he gets more comfortable with sobriety they are doomed.

      • Nina W says:

        I can understand that the dynamic works for them but I had an extremely controlling parent and I cannot stand anyone being managerial in a relationship with me. Once you have been dominated, hated it and escaped it, the very last thing you want to deal with is someone like her.

    • j.eyre says:

      Your mom is really hot, ProBeer.

      • TheyPromisedMeBeer says:

        Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I heard that … 😉

        True story though – my mom has aged like fine wine AND she really is the one in charge in the family. And my dad is totally cool with both of those facts. 🙂

  3. nuzzybear says:

    If he’s good with it, what is it to me?

    I love that he’s been out of rehab so long – whether that’s because of her or because he is doing it for her, I don’t care. I’m just happy for him.

  4. SW says:

    He seems happy with it. That’s really all that matters. They seem very much in love.

    • Marty says:


    • V4Real says:

      RDJ once said that Susan has him in a choke-hold and he loves it. He also gave her permission to cut the enablers out of his life. He also said that he wished he had the descipline growing up that most kids had. Susan was the main ingredient that put Robert back on track. I hate reading on other sites that people believe that she is only with him because of his fame. That is the furthest thing from the truth. He owes most, if not all his success to her. She was already an established producer when they met on the set of Gothika.

      She was valedictorian of her HS class. She graduated from USC’s School of Cinema/TV, which got her some attention. She started with Joel Silver in 1999 (at age 26 !?!) and Silver’s been known for being able to spot people with talent. Her title was Executive Vice President of Production for Joel Silver’s Silver Pictures. She also is director of development for Dark Castle Entertainment, the horror film division of Silver Pictures. Now her and Rob have Team Downey and they are currently filming their first production “The Judge.”

      To be honest one could say that Robert got most of his good gigs through Susan. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Sherlock Holmes, Due Date.

      I love RDJ and call him my C/B husband but I’m grateful he has Susan in his life. She’s a strong, powerful independent woman who gets the respect that she deserves and she’s not bad on the eyes either.

      • YuYa says:

        I hate this crap. Addicts are the only ones who can get their lives on track, it is their responsibility soley. An addict will quit when they’ve reached their bottom (varies from addict to addict) and not when they suddenly meet an angel from above who “helps” them quit. Anyone who’s been in a relationship with an active addict knows this. You cannot love someone out of an addiction if they aren’t ready to quit, period. You also cannot strong-arm someone out of an addiction either. You can tell an addict, I will not be with an addict, and then they make the decision to get clean or not. Period.

        Her relationship with him sounds really co-dependant and I would not want a life of monitoring someone for a relapse. It is a lot of effort she in putting into something that is his sole responsibility. Sure, be supportive, but monitoring his life like that is not healthy. He has to learn the tools he needs in order to keep himself sober, and if he isn’t doing that, he will relapse, regardless of how many people she kicks out of his life or brings into his life to watch him.

      • Jade says:

        You’re right, I would think that strong, independent woman would hesitate to go out with someone who had his history. The fact that she married him shows she cares, unless she is having ulterior motives for herself which we wouldn’t know of but let’s not go there if it’s too negative thinking lol. I wouldn’t get involved with him beyond the sex and I’m not as driven as her. She has his interests at heart and l hope they really last. She may be one of those women who can be fine on their own if he leaves her (hello J Lo), but he can be a wreck if she leaves.

      • V4Real says:

        @Yuya ” I hate this crap. Addicts are the only ones who can get their lives on track, it is their responsibility soley.” An addict will quit when they’ve reached their bottom (varies from addict to addict) and not when they suddenly meet an angel from above who “helps” them quit.”

        I said Susan was the main ingredient, not the only ingredient. Downey has said that he blamed himself for his downward spiral and he no longer cared abour his career or life. Susan was the one that made him start to care again and gave him a reason for wanting to get his shit together. So why it is left up to the addict to want to get better; sometimes having a reason to motivate that addict plays an essential part in their recovery. Sometimes having a good and honest support system, along with your desire to get clean makes a difference.
        When he first met Susan on the set of Gothika he was still using. So I would say she was influential in his decission to get clean and sober.

        Side Note; Halle Berry blamed Robert Downey Jr for breaking her arm, said he got a little to rough.

      • amanda. says:

        I like how everyone seems to have a good excuse for him.

      • V4Real says:

        @amanda I don’t think it’s excuses but we tend to be a little more forgiving when it comes to RDJ at least I can admit to that. But that’s because he has owned up to his past and he blames no one but himself for his fall from grace. Yes he said his dad first introduced him to pot when he was 8 but he didn’t continue to blame his dad for the bad decisions he made later in his life.

        Most celebs that are addicts tends to blame the Hollywood life or others for their drug problems. RDJ took sole responsibilty for his own actions. Also he didn’t get a slap on the wrist or was able to make a mockery of the court system as Lindsay Lohan continues to do. The man served time in prison. He’s one of the greatest Hollywood comback stories ever. He also has this charismatic energy about him that people just seems to love. Other celebs that have worked with him has also said that he is one of the nicest persons that they have ever worked with. He doesn’t make it all about him and goes out of his way to make sure everyone on set is comfortable and that their voice is being heard when they have opinions about certain scenes. James Badge Dale and Guy Pearce where just two of the most recent people to give him that kind of praise. But yeah, you’re right we tend to give RDJ a pass but I think he deserves it and has shown that he is serious about his sobriety.

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        “I like how everyone is making excuses for him.”

        Excuses…for what, exactly?
        He was an ADDICT, not a murderer and he got clean. Nobody has to make “excuses” for him, in fact we should be applauding him for taking control of his life and managing his disease effectively.

      • Misty says:

        Dark Castle made nothing but terrible movie and the lack of critical success was one of the reasons Joel Silver was ousted by WB. She may need RDJ more than she likes to acknowledge.

      • bluhare says:

        I’m an alcoholic and I got sober on my own. And I hung with the same people I did when I was drinking. They weren’t/aren’t alcoholics, though.

        While it’s great she helps him, what will happen if they get divorced? Very good chance he’ll turn to drugs because he’s had someone else running interference for him.

      • V4Real says:

        Misty Joel Silver and Susan produced the Sherlock movies and as you know they were big hits. Susan and Robert now have their own production company called Team Downey.

      • Misty says:

        The financial success of those Sherlock movies was solely based on RDJ’s star power. Critically they were not well received. The 2nd was pretty awful. Silver lost his job with WB after the 2nd Sherlock. None of the Dark Castle movies was a critial success, financially most didn’t break even. I seriously doubt RDJ needs his wife to land an interesting part in a movie.

    • Meredith says:

      RDJ tried running his own life with his own decision making “powers” and it was totally screwed up. He was an addict who almost lost everything. So it is a good idea IMO to hand decision making over to someone who is capable and smart. Unlike Lohan, he recognizes where he is strong and where he is weak. Good for him and good for his marriage. @ Littlekitten : I agree he is managing his disease intelligently.

      • YuYa says:

        If he can’t stay clean on his own, then he is not really clean. If he needs someone to monitor him 24-7 or else, then he is not really clean.

        This is not a healthy relationship if this article touches on the truth.

        It is up to each individual to maintain their own sobriety and not foist it onto someone else, because they’re just so “weak”.

        I stand by what I say. If you all disagree with me, fine. However, anyone who has been blamed for an addict’s behavior knows, eventually, when he relapses (and he will if he has not learned any coping skills)that it will be not the addict’s fault, but their co-dependent partner for not being vigilant enough. He’s set himself up nice and comfortable, IMO.

      • V4Real says:

        Yuya you sound so bitter did RDJ do something to you or did you get hurt by someone who’s an addict. Anyways regardless of what you think about Robert and Susan; if this is how they choose to live their lives why should you or any of us have a problem with it.

      • Marie Antoinette Jr. says:

        Yuya I agree with you. Like I said upthread a parent child relationship does not work in a marriage because every child eventually “grows up” and wants to leave home.
        They should practice Robert being responsible for himself because when he gets comfortable with sobriety he’s not going to want to hang around “mom” anymore.
        I’ve never understood the big appeal of him anyway. I always get him mixed up with Harry Connick Jr. (sp?) LOL 🙂

      • Nina W says:

        I agree with some of what you say Yuya. I was with an alcoholic and I did everything I could think of to try to get him to stop drinking. Nothing worked, I begged, I cried, I cajoled, I yelled, I hugged, the whole range of effort, I loved him. Finally, after years of effort, I said, “I can’t watch you drink yourself to death, you’re killing me.” And I left him. Guess what? Six months later he accidentally got our dog killed and then he got sober. He had to do it in his own time and he learned how to do it alone, he needed to. It’s not good to have a crutch, even a well-intentioned crutch, you have to learn the coping skills.

    • Embee says:

      So he has chosen to substitute his poor judgment with her good judgment. No abuse just a couple deploying their collective assets to their collective good.

      • Nina W says:

        It’s not that great. He needs to count on himself for sobriety or it won’t stick.

  5. Kate says:

    She’s taking care of business. Good for her.

  6. Naye in VA says:

    I think she certainly keeps him busy, which can’t be bad with someone who is fighting addiction. Snaps for her.

  7. Sisi says:

    He likes ’em bossy, it’s why he has chemistry with gwyneth.
    And it’s good that they both invest energy in eachother as well as the relationship, keeps the status quo up. Seems normal. Give and take.

  8. mel says:

    Hmmmm….I don’t know…I don’t think I would appreciate my husband parenting me…and this is kind of what it sounds like. I would NEVER tell my husband what to do..who to hang out with…try and “rule” the house.

    • Sullivan says:

      I agree. Only RDJ can keep himself clean & sober. If she thinks that she can control it, she might need al anon.

      • MrsBPitt says:

        Thats true…but all addicts are different…some need a stronger person to help them, some like AA, some find religion, for some its helping other addicts…I say, whatever works for the individual!

    • V4Real says:

      But he’s the one who said that he wanted Susan to control him. He liked that she had him in a choke-hold. He was also the one that told her she had the right to cut the bad element out of his life, including friends he grew up with. One friend was one of his drug dealers and Susan made him end that relationship real quick. I think Robert is getting that discipline in his adult life that he said he longed for when he was growing up. But I just hope she’s not to overbearing but I don’t think she is. I honestly believe they love each other and this is what he wants. If he’s happy with it then that’s all that matters.

      • Merylynn says:

        Absolutely. The guy recognises that he needs structure and fell for someone who can provide it. He has chosen to submit, thats very different from trying to “save” an addict. But as I said before, I really hope their relationship isnt as RDJ centered as it sounds.

    • Nina W says:

      I agree Mel, in my experience being controlling drives people away. He may be happy with her authority but I wouldn’t be.

    • Greenieweenie says:

      I don’t agree with all the ppl saying she shouldn’t fulfill this parenting role. An addict isn’t just genetically pre-disposed–they have to change deeply ingrained habits. The unit of change there isn’t a year, and it doesn’t happen in isolation. And when you have someone who has relapsed as much as RDJ, it makes sense as to why–in the relatively early years of his sobriety–you would go out of your way to construct an architecture that will reshape his habits and pre-empt his genetic impulses.

      All those saying I didn’t do that, well, maybe you weren’t genetically predisposed. Maybe your addiction was just a form of self-medication and once you addressed the issue, you addressed the addiction. You can’t presume addiction has a single root cause, so you can’t presume there is a single method of redress.

      In playing that role, SDJ enables him to meet her needs. It’s a win-win situation. She is to him what he needs, and in return he is to her what she needs. I don’t see how that’s problematic in the least.

  9. Nanz says:

    So he helps around the house and that means she rules with an iron fist? He stays sober to keep his family together and that makes her…controlling? Got it. But what I really think is going in here is that they consider each other equal partners because its the year 2013

    • Faye says:

      Exactly. I love the twist they put on this -that because she’s a responsible person she’s somehow a scold or a nag.

      I read an interview with them when they got engaged that seemed very insightful. Susan described herself as a Type A, very responsible, very self-controlled “good girl” who was never into the drugs and partying side of Hollywood. She said she had fought her feelings for RDJ for a long time because he was so the opposite of what she wanted in terms of all the drug addiction baggage. Her parents were really against him at first, too.

      So, when RDJ started seriously pursuing her, she basically laid down the law and said look, I just cannot be with someone who is an active drug user . . . I’m not willing to live that lifestyle. If you do it, I’ll leave you. And I guess he was at the point where he was ready to give it up, and he loved her, and he did it. I really liked them both because she came across not as controlling or trying to change someone, but someone who had self-respect and who was honest about what she would and wouldn’t put up with. And he seemed to know that she wasn’t joking, and respected that, and stepped up to the plate.

      It seems she’s sticking to her guns about not wanting that kind of element in their life, and he seems happy and healthy. Anything else is just not important.

      • mel says:

        I did not say “scold or nag”…the words in the article clearly states “Bob hears and obeys”….seems rather controlling to me. I obviously understand why she is concerned about his habits…but does she trust him or not? IMO…there is a tendency with spouses who choose to live with a partner who have addiction issues end up taking on a parental role..this is both exhausting to the sober partner and insulting to the substance user..especially if they are sober. There is a tendency to micromanage everything they do. Additionally…I think in some cases it can be a co-dependent situation. I have friends who are in these situations and it just not seem that healthy.

      • Nanz says:

        Faye, I think I read that interview, too. I don’t know why, but it gives me goosebumps to think about it. She seems like such a strong woman who happens to be married to someone who adores her. She didn’t get wrapped up in his baggage, but gave him a clear boundary. It’s so healthy. I am a big RDJ fan and have come to really like and respect Susan the more he talks about her in interviews. She seems seems awesome and they seem to have a good partnership. It grates my nerves when the tabloids try to put a negative light on it, especially with sexist undertones.

      • Faye says:

        @Mel – My comments weren’t in response to you (I wasn’t even commenting in your thread), but to the way the article was written. And IMO, it is clearly trying to portray Susan as both a scold and a nag.

        As for the points you raised, I don’t think we can take every detail in this article as the gospel. I doubt very much it is literally a “she orders and he obeys” situation. This is clearly not a co-dependent situation or anything like that, because she didn’t want to get involved with him at first or his issues. She just made her boundaries clear, saying she couldn’t be with him if he was still on the drugs – it was his choice whether to give them up or not. If they were co-dependent, she would have married him regardless, convinced she could “save him.”

        I know it’s all celeb gossip, so it’s in good fun to a certain point. But everything we’ve seen from these two seems to point to a healthy, mutually happy relationship. It seems really mean to try and paint her as some nagging housewife or an non-trusting, over-controlling person when there has been literally no evidence of that.

    • Sisi says:

      Yeah it’s kinda reads as ‘RDJ isn’t as alpha as the superhero we expect him to be and it’s all the bossy wife’s fault’ while it just seems that this is their chosen family dynamic that they prefer.

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        This exactly. I’ve dated guys who like that sort of thing, to be told what to do, how to dress etc. and it doesn’t really work for me. I like a balance, even though I admit to being a bossy bitch at times.

        But yeah-it’s all about what works for THEM so no judgement there.

    • Misty says:

      Wasn’t there an interview with RDJ talking about “recovery vulturism” and “an addict never changes under duress”. I agree some 1950s jackhammer method and treating your recovering drug addict husband like a dumb child who is clueless about his condition is not a smart way to go about in ANY relationship

    • Nina W says:

      If she’s hiring sober companions when she’s separated from him and picking and choosing his friends that is the definition of controlling. They’re happy together and bully for them but that is not the healthiest dynamic for any relationship.

  10. Ashling says:

    Good for her.

  11. IShouldBeWorking says:

    The biggest revelation here is that his friends call him Bob. Bob!

    • Elle says:

      This. I just don’t picture him as a Bob.

    • TheOriginalKitten says:

      ..when I was reading it, I was like “who the hell is Bob?”

      I don’t like it at all!

      • V4Real says:

        Bob was what people called my grandfather; his name was Robert also.

        Therefore I can’t call my Celebitcy husband anything but RDJ or Robert.

      • Sisi says:

        lmao, I had to scroll back up to find out who this Bob person was… TGIF

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        Ladies–I had THREE long-term relationships with dudes named Bob.
        When the third dude told me his name was Bob I was just like “Nope. No. Uh-uh. I’m calling you ROB” and he was all “…but NOBODY calls me that!” I told him I don’t give a shit, I’m not dating another Bob.

        ‘Bob’ is the name of someone’s uncle, not the dude I’m sexin’.

        (apologies to all you ladies married to/dating a Bob-I’m sure your Bob is lovely and all that)

      • Jazz says:

        Same here, V4Real! My dad’s name was Bob so I can’t call Robert that either!

      • The Original Tiffany says:

        No offense to the Bobs of the world, but it is just the most unsexy name.

        3 Bobs? Are you dating guys just for the name? 😉
        Now that I am thinking about it, I have never had a Bob. Am I missing something?

      • Green Eyes says:

        LOL! Thanks again for the laughs this morning. Not surrI will ever be able to look at any of my friends named Bob again. Never had a Bob either…nor a Robert, Rob, or Robbie. 😉

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        *hugs to green eyes*

        @Tiff-No, quite the opposite. In fact, after the second Bob, I was actively AVOIDING Bobs, but Bobs were drawn to my ass like moth to flame.

        It was like I was wearing a t-shirt that said “Bone me, Bob”.. I’m The Bob Whisperer or some shit. Gross.

      • V4Real says:

        Ladies Robert even said that his mother calls him Bob or Bobby; so no that definetly doesn’t work for me. I will say Bobby before I say Bob but I’m not thrilled using eiher one.

      • Olive says:

        I dont know about Bob but I know atleast one Bobby that I wouldnt have minded a wild romp with (in the 70s, 80s, 90s and the early noughties). You peasants know him as Robert DeNiro.

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        I can accept DeNiro as a Bobby, mainly because he’s extremely awkward in interviews and lacks the “suavitude” (it’s word, I swear it is) that RDJ possesses.

      • Thiajoka says:

        Whenever I hear the name “Bob,” I think about the recurring character in the Blackadder series who passed herself off as a servant boy named Bob. Then, in my mind, I hear Rowan Atkinson’s clipped, sarcastic pronunciation of the name.

        Also, LOL @TheOriginalKitten because I used to always end up dating guys who quoted whole Monty Python movies. I love the Pythons, but it became a deja vú warning to me if a guy I was interested started quoting from one of their movies.

      • Let says:

        A a vibrator aka battery operated boyfriend…a…B.O.B.!!!

    • Lem says:

      Who, what, ew!
      please to never let me see him be referred to as Bob again, I don’t like it either

    • gogoGorilla says:

      I know! Who the hell is Bob? I hate that. He will always be Robert Downey, Junior to me. LOL.

  12. Aussie girl says:

    Maybe Susan can adopt Lindsay?

  13. Liberty says:

    Good for them. He’s doing great, they’re happy, there is enough love there to have remade his life and built something great from it.

    I love him and his work. This RDJ rebirth sort of echoes his 1995 film “Restoration” in the good way, doesn’t it? (A lovely little film, other than the miscast Meg Ryan — fab Sam Neill, and Hugh Grant, are in it as well, with Sam especially fantastic as King Charles II. Won an Oscar for Art Direction or something too I believe. Worth tracking down if you like RDJ.)

  14. Marty says:

    I think in relationships it can be helpful to have a partner who has personality traits that you may lack. It can help balance the relationship. Sometimes when people are too similar it causes problems because they behave the same way.

    I love them and think they are a wonderful, strong couple.

  15. Miss M says:

    She is a good influence on him and yes, she is probably a strong woman considering she is a top executive producer in Hollywood. I see no problem at all.

    As we joke in my country, the man always has the last word in the marriage: yes honey, you’re right.

  16. Gossip Garl says:

    Did ya’ll see the pic of him with the kid, crying cause IRON MAN didnt have his costume on?Looks like he was about to cry to.Love this man.

  17. grabbyhands says:

    Well, it makes a good headline, I guess.

    Hasn’t he said she basically saved his life? I think when you have someone who is an addictive personality and has has struggled so much in the past, you need a partner/spouse who is very strong.

  18. don't kill me i'm french says:

    i don’t know if he cooks for her because she wants but Susan manages his career for sure and he obeys

    • blannie says:

      Very interesting article…thanks for sharing.

    • Faye says:

      That wasn’t an article so much as a mean-spirited, innenudo-filled piece of gossipy trash. And it seems to be implying that 1) his work suffered when he became sober and 2) Susan manipulated him into becoming clean so she could push him into making all these evil blockbuser movies, and both of those assertions are disgusting.

      Also, LOL at the writer ranting about his becoming a “Republican” because he likes cars and other material things. Right . . .because all the Hollywood liberals live like ascetic monks. How can you take anything a writer like that says seriously?

    • V4Real says:

      That’s an old article and it’s a bullshit one written by someone who was trying to be malicious. It wasn’t an interview that Downey gave.

  19. mkyarwood says:


    • The Original Tiffany says:

      That stuck out more than anything else here. He goes by Bob?!?

      Me no likey that. He likes to cook and he goes by Bob. That’s all I got. 😉

  20. Mia 4S says:

    Actually given the money they have I would imagine the cook and/or housekeeper prepares the food and cleans the house. Nice try Enquirer.

    I am soooo glad he is doing a movie that is not Marvel. I am beyond over his Iron Man schtick, but do still love him as an actor. If I avoid his interviews, all will be well!

    • Nina W says:

      Yeah I’m a fan of his but Iron Man is just meh. I don’t want blockbuster franchises from him, I want interesting work.

  21. Esti says:

    This marriage is my favorite thing about RDJ. She’s age-appropriate, has a seriously impressive career, and expects him to keep his shit together. Some days he has to cook dinner because SHE’S at work? Love it.

    Such a nice change from the men in Hollywood who cycle through women 15-20 years their junior because they want some arm candy without having to ever compromise or have an equal partnership.

    • Faye says:

      ITA with everything in your post, except the part about him cooking dinner (which I know came from the article). As someone said above, I’m sure they have housekeepers, cooks, etc. to do that. But I am amused by the visual of a harassed RDJ trying to cook dinner with one hand while frantically changing the baby or something with the other.

      • V4Real says:

        I love my husband RDJ but I don’t buy the cooking part. I remember when he was doing press for Tropic Thunder and they showed the scene where he said he could collar up some greens. The interviewer asked him if he could really do that and he said as much as he would like to; he doesn’t know how to cook.

    • Jazz says:

      “Such a nice change from the men in Hollywood who cycle through women 15-20 years their junior because they want some arm candy without having to ever compromise or have an equal partnership.”

      Exactly! (I’m looking at you DiCaprio!)

      • V4Real says:

        That’s another thing I love about this man; he always dated withing his age group. His first wife Deborah Falconer, Sarah Jessica Parker, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Colista Flockhart and Marisa Tomei are all around his age, if not older. Susan is the one with the widest age gap and that’s only about 7 and a half years.

  22. MonicaQ says:

    That sounds so sweet! If that dynamic works for him, he stays sober, his kid gets his dad, his wife keeps her husband, and we keep getting more Iron Man…

    …I see no problem with any of this.

    • Malificent says:

      Exactly! If having a “bossy” wife keeps him happy, healthy, and productive, then I’d say he made a very wise move to marry her. And he sounds like he’s smart enough to know and appreciate it.

  23. fran says:

    She’s a Scorpio and he’s an Aries so that combo is explosive, certainly not boring and Scorpios don’t tolerate bullshit.

  24. SolitaryAngel says:

    Whatever keeps him healthy and happy, I’m all for it–I love RDJ. 🙂

  25. ctkat1 says:

    This article was cribbed together from past interviews both of them have given- he’s been really open that when he fell for her, she let him know that she wasn’t putting up with the drugs. He gives her all of the credit for his sobriety, and they seem REALLY happy. Given her professional accomplishments, I’m sure she has had influence over his career as well (she’s produced some of his more recent films).
    So far what I read is that sometimes she works late and he has to care for their child and do dinner duty (gasp…the horror!) and she banned Shia LeBoeuf from their house after he got drunk and showed his ass (again…what’s wrong with this decision?). Doesn’t sound like an “iron fist” to me.

  26. ladybert62 says:

    He has turned his life around and if it is her doing, more power to her.

    I am always in favor of strong women and if he does not have a problem with it, more power to him!

  27. Jade says:

    There are many reasons to ban LeDouche from the house. One of which is “I’m such an artist”.

    • Sisi says:

      Yeah I´m not in a relationship with a former addict, and I wouldn´t let him in my house either.

  28. Virgilia Coriolanus says:

    *snickers* If Susan does “rule with an iron fist”, then Robert probably likes it. And I mean in a “yes, Mistress” way…who knows what kind of freaky things they get up to when they’re alone.

  29. Miss M says:

    Did anybody see the photo of the little kid from MA that cried when his mom introduced him to Iron man (RDJ)? The kid said it was not iron man (RDJ was not wearing the costume). OMG! The photo is priceless!!!

    RDJ looked like: what do I do?,,20708645,00.html

  30. K-rock says:

    He’s awesome. She’s lucky. I’m eternally jealous lol

  31. Reece says:

    I’ve heard him say something similar before. It seems to work for him and keeps him on track. No Biggie. Besides she’s producer. I’m sure she’s quite accustomed to being HBIC. HA!

  32. Masque says:

    Wow, a grown, responsible adult woman expects her husband to be a grown, responsible adult. How bossy of her!

    I hate articles like this because it makes it sound like The Little Woman is domineering instead of her simply expecting him to be a decent, considerate human being.

    • Original A says:

      I was going to say even if she was super bossy…he may ‘ehm’ like that in a kinky way.

    • moon says:


      I don’t think she’s doing this to be bossy or out of choice. It sounds like RDJ actually functions better with this regime. And like you said, why is it a big deal that she’s being responsible and trying to get him to be the same?

  33. moon says:

    RDJ wouldn’t do anything he doesn’t want to. I think he recognises that Susan is a positive influence, and how easily he’d fall off the track without the influence. I feel for her, that is not an easy gig regardless of how much you love a man. It sounds exhausting. And I think RDJ NEEDS this sort of woman. He was pretty crazy when he was with SJP (who is another controlled, I am a boss type) but when she finally left him, he really went off the rails big time.

    He had a career revival after this relationship because someone finally had the patience to sit him down and help him showcase that potential on a consistent basis.

    P.S. Banning Shia LaDouche is common sense.

  34. Green Eyes says:

    I think it’s awesome & sexy. He’s secure enough in his manhood & ego to know what’s best for him;). Obviously it does he was one the the hugest douches when he became an addict. But he emerged even better than he was before he turned to drugs once he really hit botuom & woke up. Would be nice to see more addicts be able to realize they need a change & surround themselves w/ those that would be strong, not enable such as Lohan. Not saying each day is easy for him or any addict its not, but he is doing what works for him. No shame in that:)

  35. trillian says:

    So when a (working) woman expects her husband to do his share in their household, she’s bossy and “rules with an iron fist”. OMG. This is 2013. Poor little bullied guy has to COOK. The HORROR! And I would totally ban people from my home who got wasted there and started embarrassing my guests too. Call me bossy.

  36. EscapedConvent says:

    I think they’re very sweet together & glad they found each other. But the idea of “obeying” & “being in a choke hold” sounds off-putting to me. They’re just expressions for their dynamic, but still.

    I don’t know which movie it was, but Robert (not calling him Bob no way no how) made a film that was small & independent & it didn’t do very well. I read “That’s the last time Susan `lets’ him make a movie like that—from now on, she’s only letting him work on blockbusters.” Letting him?

    Maybe it’s just me, but that sounded pretty darn bossy. But I think someone in the comments above probably hit it right on target with the idea that RDJ does need help with boundaries & structure in his adulthood that he didn’t have growing up.

    They do seem very happy together & that’s great.

    • V4Real says:

      What you said about the blockbuster sounds vaguely familar but I don’t buy the she’s not letting him schtick because he has done some films that haven’t been blcokbusters since Iron Man such as The Soloist. Even though I loved Due Date, it didn’t fair that well either and she was a producer on that one.

      • LAK says:

        THE SOLOIST was a studio film. Just like IRON MAN 1/2/3. Different target audiences, but studio films. One is designed for the summer ‘blockbuster’ audience whereas the other was designed for the rest of the year, bar the grave yard of January/February which is when studio films that aren’t expected to perform well are quietly released. THE SOLOIST was problematic for various reasons which the director Joe Wright has since elaborated on-sort of, but which have apparently driven him to the conclusion never to work on that major studio films. He will only work either with indies or mini studios. Apparently.

        Small indies of the type RDJ has stopped making are things like A GUIDE TO RECOGNISING YOUR SAINTS which won lots of praise in the indie scene, but didn’t make any money. He is now exclusively on major studio pics.

      • V4Real says:

        But LAK she was saying thatySusan would only let him work on blockbusters from now on. Even though The Soloist might be a studio film it still wasn’t a blockbuster. Also as for RDJ not doing anymore indies, I call foul again because he is set to star in Jon Favreau’s Chef which is an indie film.

      • LAK says:

        V4Real – EVERY studio film is put together with blockbuster outcome even if it fails in the end, like THE SOLOIST did. All the studios closed their indie arms in 2008/9, so it’s easier to spot a studio film these days. Blockbusters aren’t only during the summer or only action fantasy films. LES MISERABLES is a blockbuster as an example. released in December, and a musical to boot. There is a difference between summer blockbusters and winter ones. THE GREAT GATSBY is an example of a winter one released in the summer.

        The point that the previous poster was making remains. Suzan works for a producer who ONLY makes studio films. She is not in the indie system, and going by her IMBD credits, doesn’t appear to have ever worked in the indie system. i can’t name a single Joel Silver indie, can you?

        It’s not a criticism of her or Joel Silver. It’s hard to retain a studio deal these days, and Joel Silver is one of the few producers able to keep his deal going, more power to him.

      • Nina W says:

        “Independent” yet Sofia Vergara, John Leguizamo and Bobby Cannavale are all attached. And of course Favreau and RDJ were teamed for the Iron Man movies so this is a reunion of sorts. It may be a little independent film but it doesn’t sound or feel like one with that crowd.

      • LAK says:

        Nina W – An indie film can have big name stars. It’s actually a huge bonus if a big name star can be persuaded to act in an independent film because it makes financing it easier.

        V4Real – @Nina W is right. CHEF isn’t an indie. It’s a smaller budget, but it’s produced by a company that has a studio deal. It already has distribution and a release date before a single frame has been shot. An indie wouldn’t hope to have any of those elements, even if they had stars on board.

      • V4Real says:

        Well LAK Jon was the one who called it an indie; I think he might know better than all of us what his film is. BTW there have been big names attached to indies before.

      • LAK says:

        V4Real – re: big name stars in Indies, i acknowledged as much to Nina W in my post above.

        With regards Jon Favreau, if he raised the financing/distribution outside the studio system, that would make it an indie. however, going by the companies attached to it, that is highly unlikely since they all work within the studio system, but he can call it an indie because he sold the script to them rather than to the studio directly – which is hairsplitting since the studio that holds the deal with his company has already signed up and given him a release date without seeing a single frame of this.

  37. We Miss You Enclave_24 says:

    Maybe they are twin flames…..its the only thing that makes sense to me because I personally dont find anything appealing about their dynamic.

  38. Jenn says:

    The cooking and helping with the baby when she’s at work…uh, that’s his job. Just like it’s her job to do these things when he’s working. F–k these ridiculous people’s equality only if both do equal work. No women’s or men’s work, just work. Maybe that’s why they’re happy.

    As for Shia..I wish she’d ban him from the planet.

  39. Ginger says:

    There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a good, strong woman who speaks the truth instead of playing games. Obviously, it works for them. I for one am thrilled that RDJ finally got his stuff together. I love watching him act so Susan keep on ruling that roost!

  40. Shay15 says:

    Well…he’s healthy, he’s happy, he’s committed to this relationship, and he loves his son and wife….so what’s the problem here again?

  41. Thiajoka says:

    This must not be the same wife he used to go on Stern’s show with back in the mid-to-late 90’s glorifying their subhuman lifestyle.

    My concern for him is this–is it a good idea to base your sobriety and sanity on the notion of one person always being there to keep you from falling off the wagon? Things happen–she could find someone else, get ill, die, anything could happen.

  42. anti-icon says:

    Unlike so many of his successful male actor contemporaries, RDJ has always been quick to compliment/praise the woman in his life. I’ve always admired that. He continues to do it…….

    I like them as a couple, but I hope she isn’t constraining him too much….

    but I’m madly in love with RDJ, so ANY women will undergo my (limited) scrutiny.

    RDJ is a special kinda recovered addict. LOL

  43. Inyoung says:

    Like someone else said up above, you can’t strongarm or love an addict out of their addiction, but if you happen to meet them at a time when they themselves are ready to give it up, the ‘tough love’ dynamic may just work if it keeps them straight and improving. He has just as much of a hand in his own sobriety but if he gave her the go ahead to do the things she does, than obviously he knows he can’t do it alone and needs someone else there to keep him going in the right direction.

  44. Jane Warhol says:

    Sounds like another Robin Williams and Marsha Garces!

  45. Suze says:

    Would I want this type of relationship? Nope.

    Does it work for them? Seems to!

    That’s all I’ve got.

  46. Jay says:

    Every time you see them together, he looks crazy in love with her, and she looks like she loves him too. Sounds like they’re doing what they have to in order to both remain happy and healthy. Good on RDJ for recognising that recovering from addiction is a lifelong struggle.

  47. Felipe says:

    Please watch the video “Glass Walls” with a very important message from Paul McCartney