Katy Perry & John Mayer’s coupley Vanity Fair portraits: what does this mean?

Katy Perry

I’m scratching my head over here a little bit. Vanity Fair has published some exclusive, schmoozy photos of John Mayer and Katy Perry. The photos are described as “their first portraits together,” which of course implies that there will be more portrait sessions in the future for these two. Will there?

Kaiser recently mentioned the in-house bet between her, CB, and myself about how long John and Katy will last. My take is that John will stick it out for a while; there will be an “engagement” (possibly around the holidays, maybe he’ll dress up like Santa again); then John will get cold feet and mercilessly dump Katy. All three of us agree that John is looking a little spooked lately when they are seen together in public. Plus he recently skipped the AMAs to go grocery shopping while Katy attended alone.

So why these photos, and why now? This next image (also taken in the VF session) provides a very telling clue — here’s the cover for their new joint single, “Who Do You Love.” This single comes from John’s latest album, not Katy’s. He has a lot to gain here:

Katy Perry

This tells me John may care about Katy, but I think (deep down inside) he’s also using her to revamp his douchey/”ladies’ man” image and further his career. The single (you masochists can listen to it here) features lyrics like “My girl she ain’t the one that I saw coming. Sometimes I don’t know which way to go. And I try to run before but I’m not running anymore. Because I fought against it hard enough to know.” Right.

The Daily Mail sums these portraits up with an “At least they’re not riding a motorbike” like a certain other couple. Small mercies, folks. My question is this: Are Katy and John really this loved up, or is he the same douche he’s always been? I don’t think this eye of the tiger will ever change his stripes.

Katy Perry

Katy Perry

Photos courtesy of Vanity Fair

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98 Responses to “Katy Perry & John Mayer’s coupley Vanity Fair portraits: what does this mean?”

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  1. GlimmerBunny says:


    • lulu says:

      That sums it up. Lol

    • Tiffany :) says:

      Wow, they are actually selling their relationship! I think it is a little sad how possessive she looks in the photos. There are two or three of them where she is reaching out and putting her hands in his shirt/on his chest, and it looks like she is trying to keep him from running away.

      Being that they both have been in public romances before, they know that the more the give the public the riskier it is for the relationship. I think it is telling they are both using the relationship in an attempt to further their fame, instead of protecting the relationship from the damages of fame.

    • foodlover says:

      double yuck cause I totally get a Bieber-vibe from him in every photo. I could swear he’s doing the Bieber-crinkle-forehead thing in the one where he plays guitar and she’s on the sofa.

      • Dubois says:

        LOL!! The “Bieber crinkle forehead”. Too funny. I actually think he’s just singing and emoting. Have you seen the faces Mayer makes when he’s singing? It will make you wish for the BCF.

      • Zwella Ingrid says:

        Oh my gosh! You are right! He totally has a Bieber look. No wonder I was more grossed out more than usual!

    • Jane says:

      I was thinking ick–but “yuck” will do nicely. Add a shudder as well!

  2. LadySlippers says:

    I like Katy but she has terrible taste in men.

    Stop going for the ‘broken birds’ (her words I think). They will only break your heart.

  3. Patricia says:

    These pics are just two narcissists getting off on their own hype. They think their amazingness is compounded by being together.

    • ZigZagZoey says:

      Okay….Had to sign in to say I love this comment!

      Who will she date next….She probably thinks she could get Clooney to marry her…

    • Decloo says:

      I think these b/w snaps actually make Katy look pretty. She needs to dump the terrible makeup and bright ridiculous clothes she usually sports.

      • Carolyn says:

        agree. if these two make each other happy that’s good. can’t imagine either of them like being alone.

    • Secret Squirrel says:

      So pretty, but so empty… JM could be a cardboard cut out.

    • gefeylich says:

      Yes. I think this photo shoot means “we want attention.” Mayer is still trying to shake the “douchebag” label; Perry wants to be taken seriously or something.

      Unfortunately, this photo shoot does nothing to further those aims.

  4. Dani2 says:

    Poor Kathryn, she really believes that she’s the woman to change him.

  5. BooBooLaRue says:

    That they are both douche canoes?

  6. mia girl says:

    Shoot me, but I like these photos.

  7. Elisabeth says:

    at least it looks like he showered

  8. eliza says:


  9. claire says:

    They look cute together.

  10. The Original G says:

    Two commitmentphobes. Could it work?

  11. missmerry says:

    haha her hand down his shirt….douchy.

    • Lindy79 says:

      Her face in that looks a cross between
      “oh god, what have I just touched?” and “where the hell are my car keys, I thought I left them here?”

  12. GoodNamesAllTaken says:

    He has a lovely profile, but I do not find him handsome face on. Just thought I’d share that.

  13. lisa2 says:

    I think they look really good together in those pics. Very sexy and hot. I actually like them as a couple. They seem more suited then their last partners.

    I really wish them luck.

  14. Jayna says:

    How can you take her new songs seriously when she’s singing about heartbreak and then the next song is how her new love saved her and he’s so dreamy. John Mayer? LOL That’s like jumping from the frying pan into the fire, going from her ex to John. We all know how this story ends.

    • Dani2 says:

      Lol “frying pan to fire” is exactly right. Russell may have been a douche but the “sensitive-artist-player” types are no better in my opinion.

    • Nerd Alert says:

      I was wondering how anyone could take her new songs seriously just based on the lyrics. The first single has so many overused cliches in it I have a hard time finding any original lyrics it may have.

  15. kim says:

    It means she has the WORST taste in men and will end up alone later in life…

  16. bowers says:

    They did this because they can. Celebs can make movies for their kids to star in, can make albums declaring their “love” as if it had never happened to anyone else. This is what they do to feel good.

  17. QQ says:

    It says to me

    “We are thirsty for attention”

    “Black and white cause our love is so timeless and Epic”

    “This is mah man, you want him?” (NO!) “he is so profound” (NO)

    “My limpdick music is supposed to make you swoon, ladies”

    “I know Im a douchebag But Look at this famous pretty girl making anime eyes at the camera, she finds me sexy so you should think im dreamy amirite?”

  18. Kaiser says:

    Does anyone else think she was styled to look more Kristen Stewart-ish?

    • Phew says:

      HA, yes. She is starting to look her age…actually older. This is about the third spread that has that vibe

    • Lindy79 says:

      If you mean greasy hair and vacant eyes then yes.

    • magpie says:

      At first glance I thought it was KStew!

      • TG says:

        Me too. Thought it was KStew and that is a compliment to Katy because Katy has bad skin and isn’t attractive. The only thing she has going for her her big boobs and a body that looks like it will go to fat if she isn’t careful.

  19. Phew says:

    What with the stupid hand, is he at risk of having his heart stop at any moment???? Or maybe she is positioning for a head lock in case he tries to make a break for it!

  20. Liz says:

    To anyone who says they get the douche vibe from Mayer, you are probably right. I know somebody that had to work security at one of his concerts and as soon as Mayer got in the car, he says “Don’t talk to me.” Funny thing is the person I know hadn’t even said anything and wasn’t planning on it (not a fan of Mayer). I don’t know if he was having a bad day or what, but that’s kind of a douchy way to talk to someone that’s there to protect you.

  21. jess says:

    Once à douche always à douche. I think shes one of those girls who thinks she can change a guy. I give them six months.

  22. littlestar says:

    I don’t know what it is about his voice, but I just cannot stand it! Makes me want to pull my hair out and run around screaming like a lunatic.

    Edit: Totally think he is using Katy to ride her coattails and sell more of his albums (imo, his music is just awful awful awful drivel).

  23. teehee says:

    I always get such a overly affected vibe from her. I know I’m not using the right words, but I mean she is too into the men in her life, and too dependent on that to be happy and to know her own identity– all of her hot air about women and bla bla is garbage– well obviously if you look at her… no empowered woman feels a need to strut on stage with cupcakes on her breasts or to show cleavage to elmo. And when shes with men—- I just detest her all the more….

    • littlestar says:

      I get what you are saying and I completely agree. She’s forces herself so much with things that she just comes across as fake.

  24. AG says:

    Sorry to nitpick, but it should read “… he’s also using HER to revamp his douchey…” 🙂

  25. Theresa says:

    Meh. The only thing I can say about either one of them, actually Katy Perry, is how the hell did this girl get as far as she has? She has zero vocal skills. I had only heard her on the radio, and thought her moderately skilled, kicky pop songs, ok for a quick fix of sugary music fun. But then I caught a vid of her singing live, I think it was the latest AMA performance of Unconditionally. I could hardly believe it was the same singer. That made me more interested in seeing her live performances and found a few more. Not only was she never that good, but it is clear that what vocal ability she had a few years ago is deteriorating fast.

    Her love life and her theatrics provide the smoke and mirrors so that people continue to crave her as a performer, is all I see. I for one am not buying what she’s offering. Onstage or off.

    • Tiffany :) says:

      She really is a terrible, terrible live singer. Shrill, harsh and off key.

    • Nerd Alert says:

      Pop stars needn’t be good singers anymore. They either need to be conventionally hot or shocking.

      How many people there must be out there with beautiful voices or great songwriting ability that will never see their dreams realized because they are fat or have a less than perfect face.

  26. Grant says:

    This will end in disaster.

  27. kct says:

    This is his M.O. (together, break up, together, break up) so only time will tell. Some women think they can “fix” a guy and just like Jen, she obviously thinks she’s got the stuff to do it. Maybe JM wants to change at times, but he always runs at the end. Girls need to get smart when it comes to this dude.

  28. Ok says:

    I noticed she has lately stopped styling herself as a cartoon character.

    I wonder if the turn in styling is a direction coming from her or he label. But she looks really pretty in these photos.

  29. Eleonor says:

    what does it mean ?
    To me is “Take that Russell Brand !”
    btw nice shoot.

  30. JLo says:

    Many years ago, I went to see John Mayer play at some local Borders bookstores at the urging of one of his friends. There were maybe eight people and I’m the only one who looked up from my magazine. He was a d@u$e then, how much of one is he now? Katie, Katie…(shakes head)

    • Ramona Q. says:

      You are judging a 35-year old man by one night when he was a teenager …

      • JLo says:

        I saw him many times over those first few years when he was trying to break into the industry in Atlanta and had a mutual acquaintance. He was in his 20’s and my judgement isn’t based on one encounter.

    • Christina says:

      I am from CT, and also had mutual acquaintances with him back before he was known. I have no recollection of actually speaking to him, but definitely saw him play a couple times. Friends that know him can confirm that while more humble back then, he WAS clearly on the one track douche train. It is sad , since he is a talented musician….but his disgusting personality & famewhore lifestyle have completely overshadowed that. That and also his safe, boring mainstream music he has sold his soul to make. Fame ruins real talent sometimes.

      • Zwella Ingrid says:

        Now you have hit the nail on the head exactly. He is a very talented guitarist, but his music choices and his terrible personality and public persona have covered his talent with layers of crap. I think he would have a much better career if he had just played guitar, and left the singing to someone else. That is my opinion.

  31. Reece says:

    My first thought was “Two Douches and a Couch walked into a bar….”

  32. GirlyGirl says:

    It means there are going to be some very boring children coming someday that Katy will probably have to raise alone when the Douchenozzle finds a younger model.

  33. Jaded says:


  34. Ramona Q. says:

    This song would NEVER be a single if Katy wasn’t on it. It’s so, so bad. That said, what’s wrong with Katy helping her man sell some records? And I respect John for not feeling emasculated by her sky-rocketing career, as his own success has been declining.

    • bella bella says:

      Gah, I so agree. BAD. I will say this: I have never (ever!) listened to a song by either of them before, so maybe the marketing is working. But for me all it did is make me want to avoid them both forever! Lyrics very mundane, tune VERY blasé. Her voice (or computers, etc.) does lift the song into a better sound when she pops in, so it seems to me like yes, she’s helping her man sell a record.

      Is this a case of mediocre meets mediocre equals.. um.. mediocre with vibrato?

  35. Quinn says:

    Uh huh. Good luck with this, Katie..I’m sure you’ll be the one to change this leopard’s spots.

  36. Melly says:

    They are douchy but the sofa looks so comfy and soft.

  37. ThunderGoddess says:

    maybe it is just me but these two together don’t look sexy… total lack of chemistry

  38. H says:

    They look the same in the last picture

  39. Ella says:

    I used to HATE John Mayer but I dunno, I think I’ve gotten old or something, because his music doesn’t bother me. He actually seems pretty talented compared to a lot of current artists.

    …which is more than I can say for Katy. I continue to dislike her because I just don’t think she’s talented, especially without studio help. She (and her supporters) make a big thing about how she “writes her own songs” but she only writes them in the half-assed way most fluff artists do — she writes a few lyrics, and the majority of the song is written by some studio producer.

    As for their personal lives, I don’t really know or care. The thing is, if someone is talented I can excuse whatever their reputation as a person is, because I don’t have to live with them so why should I care what they’re like in a relationship? And none of us can really know for sure what they’re like anyway. I only care about whether they do anything for me as a performer, which Katy definitely doesn’t, and John barely does. And by that same token, even though some think Russell Brand is a “douche,” I’ll always like him a hundred million times more than Katy, because he’s actually smart and interesting and unique (in my opinion).

  40. Amy says:

    I actually think this is the best John has looked in a long time. Obviously lots of Photoshop, but instead of telegraphing the usual creeper-douchey vibe I get from him, he is looking rather soulful and down to earth in these photos. Katy looks great too. I just don’t like the first picture, too cheesy (ever since I’ve seen the Princess Diaries, all I can think of is Anne Hathaway talking about the cliche “leg pop” women do in old movies when they are kissed).

  41. Evi says:

    Ever since he made that comment about his ‘white supremacist’ dick, I’ve thought him to be racist. Can’t stand him and certainly think that she is overrated – cannot sing live for save her life.

  42. wheezy says:

    So I don’t feel any type of way about either of them, although I think she’d be MUCH more attractive without all of the hyper colors…
    But that being said, I heard this on the radio today and did not realize it was Katy Perry- her music sucks so bad but her voice is beautiful on this song!