Zooey Deschanel is pregnant… after years of saying she didn’t want kids


The Hypocrisy Police came out in force yesterday when Zooey Deschanel announced her pregnancy. I didn’t even remember Zooey having a lot of quotes about not wanting children, but then I looked through our archives… and yeah. Okay. I see it now. First, the happy news. Zooey is expecting her first child with her boyfriend Jacob Pechnik. Zooey confirmed the news to People, saying: “Jacob and I are over the moon. We are so excited to meet our little one.”

She’s due this summer, and New Girl probably won’t be affected that much. Like, they’re not going to make Jess pregnant. Zooey will finish filming this season for the next few months, then she’ll give birth over the hiatus and maybe the next season’s premiere will be pushed back a month or two. You can read more about it here on E! – I think it’s interesting that they’re taking such pains to say that the show won’t be affected. When Zooey’s sister Emily got pregnant with her first kid, it really screwed up Bones. They had to make the character pregnant and the schedule got really messed up and it took Bones like two seasons to get back on track.

Now, on to the Hypocrisy Police. Back in 2012, Zooey told Marie Claire that having kids has “never been my focus” and that motherhood was “never an ambition… I like working. That’s what I like doing. I like to work.” Then, in 2014, she talked about getting the “do you want babies” question all the time. She said:

“When I was married, that was the first thing people wanted to know. Like every woman is dying to give birth! I don’t think so. Nobody asks guys that. And you go into a supermarket and every tabloid is like, ‘Pregnant and Alone!’ Stuck in this 1950s ideal of how a woman should live her life. This brings out the fiery feminist in me. That’s not something that defines me at all.’”

[Via previous Celebitchy story]

So, is Zooey a terrible, terrible hypocrite? Eh. I think she was defending her life choices at the time, and now those life choices have changed (because choice is choice). She was standing up for the idea of being childfree. She was defending people who do not have that maternal urge. And that was then. And this is now. I don’t think she should be bashed for saying what she said then.


Photos courtesy of WENN.

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144 Responses to “Zooey Deschanel is pregnant… after years of saying she didn’t want kids”

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  1. Tiffany27 says:

    She’s allowed to change her mind, but it always sounded to me like she really didn’t want kids. And she’s been with this dude for a few months? Anyway, congrats Zooey! baby will be a cutie.

    • Mmhmm says:

      She’s so beautiful without those wispy hipster bangs. Damn I’ve never seen her like this lol

    • mkyarwood says:

      Seriously. I didn’t want kids right up until I had one. Congrats!

    • Audrey says:

      People change.

      I always thought that i would be happy to be kid free until i met my husband. Now we are so happy to have our daughter

      It’s not hypocritical to say kids weren’t her priority. They weren’t but now she feels ready. That’s not a big deal. She also just thought it was ridiculous that people are constantly speculating about a woman’s uterus and assuming that they want kids. And it is, people need to leave women and their reproductive choices alone, what happens in a woman’s uterus is between her and her partner.

      It’s weird how acceptable it is to pry into family planning choices. I’m regularly asked when we’re having another and i hate it

      • Abby_J says:

        I completely agree with you. While I can see where some people would think that she was saying she would never have children, I read it more that at the time, kids were not her focus or priority. She is perfectly free to change her mind. I actually prefer her doing it this way as opposed to someone like Jennifer Aniston, who I believe has never really wanted kids, but when asked, played the “I hope to, someday!” card. Of course, in either case, I just don’t care. I am happy when I hear that some celebrity I like is expecting, but I don’t give a second thought to those who aren’t. It just isn’t something we need to know about.

        BTW…….Even if you had another, sometimes the comments don’t change. I have two, a boy and a girl. You’d think people would be satisfied that I have done my family duty. I’ve hit the family trifecta. Still, I am shocked at how many people ask when we will have baby number three. The only thing we can figure out is that since I am in my early 30’s, people assume that I have more time to have another, and obviously want more.

      • JB says:

        Agreed. If someone had interviewed me when I was in my young 20s I would have said about the same thing. I didn’t detest the idea of having kids but it was not on my radar and I was fine with being fine with that. I didn’t feel guilty or obligated and it would have bugged me if anyone tried to make me feel that way.

        Then I met my husband and blah blah blah. Now I’m a stay at home mom to two little girls and I love it. Which feels totally fine and not hypocritical to me.

      • Lovelee85 says:

        She gets a pass from me!

        My husband & I were married in the fall, and the ONLY question people ask us is, ‘when are you having a baby?!’ I can’t even stop from rolling my eyes anymore. I shut it down quick and say in the next five years..then walk away!! Sounds bitchy, but damn am I sick of the rude questions! What if I couldn’t have kids? How horrible for the women who tells nobody of her infertility yet is always asked. I never ask anyone because I personally know 3 ladies who can not have children…it kills them…I can only imagine how they feel when asked this question. 🙁

        I am happy to say that after trying once, my sweet husband and I are expecting a baby around our wedding anniversary!!!!!!! Yay!!! I’m going to blow everyone’s mind. My husband and I just wanted the decision to be ours, and not pressured by my MIL constantly telling people ‘we have three bedrooms to fill up'(she says it in front of us like we aren’t there) SO ANNOYING! Lol

    • TQB says:

      Not to mention, 50% of the kids born in the US are unplanned. FIFTY PERCENT. You can be surprised and still be happy and a great parent.

  2. ell says:

    Did she actually say she didn’t want babies? I can’t tell from that quote. It looks like she was just pointing out it’s unfair women are asked and pressured to have children, whereas is not as important for man.

    That said, she’s still young, it’s not unusual for women to change their mind as they age. I wouldn’t want a child now (I’m 25) and I never think about it. One day, maybe.

    • Lilacflowers says:

      That’s how I read those quotes too. That motherhood wouldn’t define her and that reporters shouldn’t be constantly asking about it in interviews, not that she did not want children at some point.

      • chaser says:

        I agree. Seriously. This is just lazy reporting really.

        I was very vocally adamant through my 20s that I didn’t want children but it was only to hide the fact that I was really scared that I would never have them (I have some health issues). I had my daughter at 29 so it would have looked to a lot of people that I ‘changed my mind’. You really don’t know what is happening in someones lives to make them say what they say.

        But yeah, the main issue here is people wrongly interpreting what her previous comments actually meant.

      • get it together says:

        I totally agree (at least, based alone on the quotes provided). She didn’t say “I never want kids,” she just said motherhood was “never an ambition.” You can still be happy when something happens that you never actively wanted or sought out. For instance, I’ve always wanted to be a mother, but it was never my ambition to get married. My attitude was that if I found the right man to be a serious partner (and whose baby I wanted to have), that I would get married if it was important to him. Now I’m recently married and am super happy.

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      Right. One of my best friends never wanted children. She made that clear when she married. Then in her early 30s, she woke him up in the middle of the night and said she’d changed her mind. It happens. Doesn’t make her a hypocrite.

      • smcollins says:

        Lol…that sounds just like me! For years my husband & I said we didn’t want kids until one day I just woke up wanting one. I didn’t say anything right away because I didn’t know how my husband would react, but it turned out he had had a change of heart also (this is why we’re such a good match…always on the same wavelength ;)). So, at 38 (him 43), we had our son. Never say never!

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        That’s really sweet. Her husband admitted that he had always wanted kids -not obsessively, but thought it would be nice – but since she was so adamant, he went along with her. Now they have two. I’m glad it worked out for you.

      • smcollins says:

        Thanks 🙂

    • Snazzy says:

      Yes, I’m with all of you on this one. People are allowed to change their minds … like the lady said, choice is a choice. The whole point is to defend the right to have that choice one way or another, versus the constant pressure of society saying “OMG you have a uterus so you MUST want babies now”

    • Lucy2 says:

      That’s how I read it too- she never said no never, she just said it wasn’t fair to ask women, and a while back was honest and said it wasn’t a priority then. To call it hypocrisy is to read way more into it than what she actually said.
      Congrats to them.

    • Wilma says:

      I read it as her saying having children is not the endgame of her life, she has professional ambitions (too). It’s like that for a lot of people. I liked being really into my career fulltime, but at 35 had to start thinking about having children. I’m happy to be a mother, but my career is also still important and gives me fulfillment. One thing does not define you.

    • Kitten says:

      Yep. I don’t want kids at this very second and would say so if someone asked.
      But I still reserve the right to change my mind. At any time.

    • PrincessMe says:

      Yeah, thought the title was a bit disingenuous. There may be other quotes where she’s outright saying she doesn’t want children, but the ones about don’t convey that (to me). I read it as “that’s not where I am right now and I shouldn’t be pressured to do so or asked incessantly because I’m married/a woman/whatever else”.

      Meh. Congrats to her and I wish her all the best.

    • idsmith says:

      I agree. She didn’t say she would never have children. She said it wasn’t an “ambition”. Just because she chose not to have kids at one point in her life doesn’t make her a hypocrite for being happy to be pregnant now.

    • littlemissnaughty says:

      Yes, I don’t read it that way either. She responded like I do most of the time. I don’t “want” kids in the sense that I have to have them or I’ll die unhappy. I think there are options and one is to become a mother but it’s not something I desperately want or work towards. Maybe with the right guy, maybe not. I think it’s a recipe for disaster to focus on these things too much. Why is it always “Yes, I WANT kids.” or “Nope. Not a chance in hell.”? Why can’t it be “Eh, we’ll see. Maybe not.” It’s ridiculous.

    • chloeee says:

      One can even want children but still be annoyed that’s the first question you get.

    • emma says:

      I agree, she’s not saying she doesn’t want kids. She’s just not defining herself with children.

  3. AG-UK says:

    I don’t get that she didn’t want them ever just not then, and yes as soon as you get married it seems that’s the first question. Then if you have one it’s you can’t just have one, just watch me..

    • LizLemonGotMarried says:

      Ever since we had our mini-me, who turns four in July, all we get asked is, “When are you going to have him a brother or sister? You can’t have an only child.” This is usually said by people who do not realize I am an only child until I give them the death stare and say, “What do you mean?” After four years, I’ve started to get a little rage-y about it. I usually just ask them why they are so involved with the contents of my uterus. They stutter, and I just stare at them until the subject changes. It’s like, not only am I going to ask you an intensely personal question and criticize your decision, I am going to expect you to respond politely to my incessant nosiness. Hell no.

      • Happyhat says:

        And then if you have more than two, it’s all “Oh, being a bit greedy aren’t you.”

        I find it so strange when other people make such personal statements. “When are you having a baby?” Erm… none of your business!

        And, as an only child, I can totally sympathise with you!

      • TheOnlyDee says:

        I have a four year old, too, and people are always asking when she is going to have a brother or sister. We don’t plan on having anymore and people just cannot wrap their heads around that. “You are being selfish, being an only child is lonely, she will bear the burden of taking care of you guys when she gets older”, etc etc. Ugh, people need to mind their own business and stop telling women that they should have kids or how many kids to have!

      • OriginallyBlue says:

        Oh that is so annoying. Random strangers always ask if my daughter is the only one, when am I going to have another. Ugh it is so annoying, like why do people care. I’m a single mom, going to school and owe so much money for that. I get no support and will probably have to move late this year or early next year to a cheaper place. Another kid is the last thing on my mind.

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        I think that’s so obnoxious, too. My best friend is an only child, and she was fine. My husband has a sister, and she’s nothing but a pain in the rear. I have 3 siblings, and wouldn’t trade one of them for anything, but the other two I love because they’re my siblings, but don’t like them especially. My point is, there’s no “right” way. You should have the number of children you want and can afford. If you have a child just to give another child a sibling, you may be wasting your time anyway.

      • Nikki says:

        Also, a good friend WANTS more kids, but many trips to doctors haven’t helped, and even strangers advise her to give her daughter a sibling! I cant imagine being such a meddling busy body, but nobody realizes how cruel this “advice” is to someone with fertility issues.

      • Audrey says:

        Story of my life! I’m always asked when my almost 2 year old will have a sibling.

        I say never and get guilt tripped about how she’s going to be lonely and stuck taking care of her old parents without any help.

        It’s ridiculous and none of their business

      • Carrie says:

        This is something I am struggling with right now. I am an only child and I feel a lot of pressure because of it. My spouse and I are talking about kids and I really don’t want an only because of the pressure I feel/felt growing up. We are 35-36 and might only have enough time for one. You didn’t feel pressure to be the perfect child? I felt like if I had siblings then I wouldn’t feel guilty for things that happen in life if my parents could point to their other children and say they got it right on that one. My spouse is one of 5 and in that group there are divorces, adultery, and a lesbian. It was a lot easier to tell her parents family that she was gay then it was for me. I always thought that it had something to do with the only child part.

      • Andrea says:

        I am an only child and so is my father and there is still SUCH a stigma/stereotype out there about us. I don’t want children, but I imagined in another life if I did, I would have an only child also. With financial constraints these days, I feel some people have more kids because of society/family/fear of only children and then struggle financially because of it, which IMO is just plain stupid.

      • Audrey says:


        I don’t want to insult your upbringing, but it sounds like a parenting issue rather than something which is inherent to all only children.

        We’ll work hard to make sure she knows that we love and accept her no matter what.

        I also don’t think it’s fair to siblings to compare them or point to one as the golden child. Support all of your children equally and be proud of their accomplishments.

      • frankly says:

        My daughters are 10 years apart – split with the older one’s dad when she was 2. People love to say, “oooooh, that’s a big gap!” and I say, “I auditioned a lot of dads in between.” That’s usually the end of it.

      • Carrie says:

        No I like the comment. That’s what I am learning that it might be a parenting/family or personality issue vs an only child issue. I like that. I don’t want my child to feel pressure to be perfect.

        Also – my mother died when I was 12 and it was just my Dad and I for the majority of my life. He felt a lot of pressure suddenly being an only parent and that’s most likely what I felt.

      • rianic says:

        My oldest is 8, and when she was around two, I started getting the question about more kids. We faced male factor infertility at that time, so let’s just say I started giving lots of detailed answers (well I go in two days to shoot up some sperm! Let me tell you about my vaginal ultrasound!). I had two beautiful girls after six IUIs. Now I get – well, aren’t you going to try again for a boy? As if having all girls somehow makes my life less complete.

      • Audrey says:

        Carrie, I’ll also add that I’m one of three. My siblings were/are a lot more irresponsible than i am. I feel a lot of pressure to do things right to make up for what they’ve done.

        So maybe some siblings escape the pressure but it’s still there for at least one. And that’s totally on the way my mom raised me. I was her good child and needed to do things right and take care of her and never move out. It was hard on me. But it also set my siblings up for failure to be the screw ups of the family and there was resentment and jealousy until just recently.

        So to me, it’s mostly parenting rather than theexistence of siblings

      • vauvert says:

        Oh I love your line, going to borrow it! After my first child I developed a chronic illness and although that did not affect my fertility, the combination of age and the severe side effects drugs I need to be on put a stop to any more pregnancies. I would have loved another child and the one I have used to. complain about being an only ( he stopped now that he is old enough to understand the reasons) but I used to get all emotional about it when people asked about “when are you having the next one”. Wish everyone would mind their own business, the number of my offspring should be none of their concern!

      • Lady D says:

        If it helps, I asked my son when he was in grade ten if he missed having siblings. He said no, he was told every day at school how lucky he was not to have them.

    • Carrie says:

      Audrey, that makes a lot of sense and actually makes me feel better about having only one.

      • AtlLady says:

        I am an only child and also adopted. Can we say “spoiled”? The funny part is that if more children are meant to be a part of your family life, then somehow they will be. I have 2 of my own and about 4 “borrowed” ones that needed a home and some guidance at some point in their lives. This from a woman who never really cared about motherhood one way or another. Would I have been upset if I had never had children? No. Do I regret having children? No. Folks would be wise to remember that everyone should be allowed to live their lives as they see fit.

  4. truthSF says:

    So now we’re attacking women for changing their minds from not wanting to wanting kids? I guess if she becomes pregnant soon, Cameron D. is next.

    • Jegede says:

      It’s not so much for changing their minds but I personally wish they would all stop with the declarations.

      I said the same anytime Cammy D did so in her many interviews (in her case her actions in her relationships did not match her words)

      They are entitled to change their minds.
      People are entitled to go WTH when there seems to be an about face.

      Anyway congratulations to her, and its sweet she and her sister are expecting @ the same time.

      • Dani2 says:

        I don’t think people are “entitled” to anything, it’s her body, she doesn’t owe us any explanations whatsoever. I think the whole feeling of entitlement is a big problem these days with how we relate to (female) celebrities, they don’t owe us sh-t.

      • Lucy2 says:

        I don’t think it’s so much a declaration, but the typical situation of female celebrities constantly being asked the question.

      • Jegede says:

        They don’t owe us s_it, and we don’t owe them s_it.

        We can discuss/debate what we choose whether the celeb or fan likes it or not.

        Especially when on a celeb gossip blog.

      • Kitten says:

        Yeah I’m with Dani2, Lucy and Truth on this.

        If women weren’t CONSTANTLY asked about marriage and kids, this would be a non-issue.
        Being single in my thirties for quite some time, I cannot tell you how often I was asked about that sh*t, and made to feel like there’s something wrong with me because I was single and child-free. Luckily, I never had to go on record about it like these celebs do.

        At the end of the day, celebs are only humans. Humans change their minds ALL. THE. TIME.
        We’re allowed to do that.


      • Dani2 says:

        @Jegede Well, yeah, discussing her being pregnant is one thing, calling her a hypocrite is something else, your comment sort of made it seem like you thought it was okay for people to have a say regarding what she does with her body. But I don’t think that’s what you meant initially. That aside, she never said she didn’t want kids, just that she didn’t want to be defined by her having kids, so the first priority for the people who are going “WTH” should be their reading comprehension, not her uterus.

      • Jegede says:

        Of course you’re right O Kitten.

        And Lucy 2 makes a valid point.

        I just don’t like the policing that ensues when (god forbid!) someone says something that deviates from the majority view on here, especially when on a blog that depends on differences of opinion and outlook.

      • Kitten says:

        Sorry, Jegede. Didn’t mean to pile on. Also, this is a subject that I admittedly get a bit defensive about.

    • JenniferJustice says:

      A lot of people go from not wanting children to wanting them once they get married. I was one of them. I didn’t think I wanted children until I got married and then I wanted HIS children. Before I met my husband, I couldn’t imagine having kids. People are allowed to change their mind and they do it all the time. I do think it’s dumb to make declarations when you’re young because you don’t know what you’re going to want 10 years down the road. I don’t think it’s hypocrital so much as being young and ignorant. But since when do young people, especially in Hollywood bite their tongue?

      As far as Cameron Diaz, I do have a problem with her previous talk on marriage – not so much kids, because she actually put marriage down and claimed monogamy isn’t natural and long-term marriage isn’t realistic. I take issue with slamming something just because it hasn’t happened for you. That’s called bitterness and being jaded.
      She compared us to animals -which we are in the scientific sense, but we are far more cerebral which puts us in an entirely special catagory of animals. We have thought processes and comprehension that far outweight every other creature in the “animal” pool. Except for dolphins – I’m pretty sure they’re smarter than us and definitely a lot nicer.

      BTW – Am I the only one that thinks Zooey looks totally different as of late and it isn’t just the hair? What is it?

      • Yep–that’s the only time I find it hypocritical. It’s one thing to say “I don’t want kids” and change your mind, and another to say “Kids are little monsters that suck up all of your money, there are too many people on this planet,etc”–everything to say that you absolutely hate having the idea of kids….and then have a kid. Same with marriage and the idea of monogamy. Or complain about people continually asking you about marriage or kids, when you made it a ‘thing’ in your life to be talked about.

  5. birdy says:

    I think there is a significant difference between saying that “you don’t ever want kids” and that “you don’t think you main contribution to the world comes from your ovaries and that it has a bit more to do with your work ethic, substance and integrity”. She seemed to be in the latter category and good for her. Why is being a mother considered the pinnacle achievement for women? Unless there is a quote out there where she stated that she hates kids and is absolutely certain she will not have any then I don’t think she can be called out as a hypocrite. She seems to be aware that she has more to offer than solely being a womb for 9 months to another person and then co-parenting with her partner.

    • AuroraO says:

      Well said.

    • Dani2 says:

      Absolutely, being a mother is a wonderful thing, but that’s not all you have to offer the world.

    • Duckie says:

      +1 everything you said.

    • minime says:

      I’m with you on this. It really didn’t sound like she was saying “I never ever want kids” but rather that she didn’t think that was the pinnacle of her existence. This take on women annoys me so much. I understand (and respect) that for many to have children is the most important, but for many others it’s not. That doesn’t mean that the last ones love their kids any less. I guess in the end for most healthy people, men and women, their children end up being the most important people in their lives anyway. In my opinion it’s quite healthy to have other objectives that not only to give birth.

    • Ally8 says:

      Exactly. I can’t believe it, but a few years ago I was still hearing the expression “vivre sa vie de femme” (living your life as a woman) being used freely on French TV to refer to having children… i.e. you’re not a fully realized woman until you’ve gotten pregnant and had kids. Unfortunately I see this implied in questions like Zooey used to get. Newsflash: women have brains not just reproductive organs.

    • Happyhat says:

      I don’t even think anyone can be called a hypocrite even if they did spend a lot of time saying they didn’t want kids. Again, people change and minds change. Big deal – as if we’re supposed to be the same person 100% of our lives.

  6. MelissaManifesto says:

    This is one of the reasons why I never encouraged questions about marriage and kids. They are two of the most life-changing decisions someone, especially a woman can take. It’s not something to be taken lightly. Also people have a right to change their minds and choices as their life goes on and their priorities shift. Sometimes it’s hard to take something back after it was said in an interview, especially if it’s commented often, like Cameron Diaz and marriage.

    Congrats Zoe! Wish you the best.

  7. ev says:

    So?? people are allowed to change their minds. obviously she wasn’t with the right man before, luckily, she didn’t bring any “children of divorce” into this world so far, Now she met the man she wants to have kids with – what’s the big deal?
    I think that the article, by bringing the word hypocrite into the discussion, is doing a big disservice to women. Not all of us have the mommy dream from the age of 5, and some of us have to go through all kinds of stages in life before being ready to have children.

  8. Kiddo says:

    I’m not seeing hypocrisy, but I wouldn’t have even if she had uttered, ‘never’.
    I just hope she doesn’t start a Manic Pixie Dream Girl Mom Blog.

  9. Louise177 says:

    None of these quotes said that Zooey didn’t want kids. Just that it’s not a focus. Women are always asked if they want kids, especially after they engaged/married. Nothing wrong with saying you don’t want kids now and have kids in a couple of years.

  10. Farah says:

    Zooey’s been married before. Maybe she didn’t think she was ready. And since they are divorced, didn’t feel like her husband was the person to have a child. And maybe her opinions changed when she found a new guy. Or maybe she was accidentally knocked up. But then given her past quotes, you’d think she’d get an abortion. So I don’t think it’s an evil thing that she wasn’t ready, and now she is.

  11. Lindy79 says:

    I am TeamZooey on this one. Firstly she doesn’t say she doesn’t want kids ever, just that she was in no hurry at the time of that interview (and since that marriage ended she probably was right) and is sick of the “kids kids KIIIIDS” crap that you get straight after getting married (for the record it doesn’t stop, after your first you get “so when will they get a brother/sister?” which my sister is getting and wants to slap them).
    I’m married 2 years, am 35 and yes I realise the clock is ticking but I’m not rushing for anyone. I’m aware that my life will alter forever once it happens and I also, like her have never felt and still don’t that yearning I hear my friends talk about (one of whom has had it so bad she rushed into having a baby with a guy we all hate and is a total knobcheese) to have kids.

    Aside: Urgh at “over the moon”

    • Happyhat says:

      I point blank refused to be panicked or rushed into having kids. That’s huge life decision, and I’m not going to have one ‘just because’. If I miss my time, so be it. I can look into adoption, or not. I’m fortunate that no one around me ever asks me these things; it’s usually random people who ask me, and I don’t know them and I don’t have to answer!

  12. Lol, that was my first thought–but I don’t think she’s ever explicitly said that she didn’t want kids….just that she wanted to focus on work right now. She never said yes or no–which is her prerogative.

    But I was very surprised, not because I thought she was anti-kid or anything, but because she just seemed fine the way she was (which I really admire, and am like that as well). Maybe she was waiting for the right person–I didn’t even really know that she was dating anyone….and I get that, although I’m not the same.

    Personally, I’m planning on adopting kids alone. Like a man can sometimes darken my doorstep if my best friend/future godmother is out of town, lol, and there’ll be lots of stringent hoops that he’s gonna have to jump through to get close to me or my kids, lol……


  13. Miffy says:

    She never explicitly said “I don’t want children”. She merely said it was not a concern for her at that point and then went on to accurately discuss the weird and invasive obsession with female public figures wombs. What’s the problem?

    She didn’t want kids then so, what, she’s not allowed kids now?

    Pink said similar in interviews and it turned out she was suffering fertility issues and had even had a miscarriage. I can’t imagine how painful it must have been to answer questions about having a baby under those circumstances. Until someone says they’re pregnant can we just take the stance that it’s none of our business?

  14. mia girl says:

    Another pregnant celebrity who is “over the moon”.
    Why do they keep using this stupid, corny phrase?!!
    It makes me stabby!

    • Kiddo says:

      It has to do with the coming of the Comet Sophie.

    • Kitten says:

      SO corny.

      How about just “very excited” or “really happy”?

    • Brittney B says:

      I KNOW… the first thing I did after reading this was post a Twitter status calling for a ban on that term in birth/pregnancy/marriage/engagement announcements.

      It’s a stupid gripe (and I don’t actually endorse censorship, in case that’s not clear), but I expected much more creativity from Zooey. It’s just so bland and stupid; this announcement is no better than a simple “yes” or “her rep confirmed the pregnancy”. They don’t owe us any extra information, but if they’re going to add in a personal comment, why not be a little more original?!

      • mia girl says:

        @BrittneyB – We must be sisters from another mister because I too recently called for a moratorium on using this phrase (see Batch and the Comet preg announcement).
        Yes it is a stupid gripe, but valid none the less.

        The irony is that if there were ONE celebrity whose whole “shtick” would fit using this retro, golly-gee, needlepointed on a pillow in your grandma’s house and now sold on etsy phrase, it would be Zooey.
        But it is so overused by everyone else that it’s lost any charm.

  15. chloe says:

    Congrats to her and the last time I checked a person has the right to change their mind. I’m getting really tired of women in the business getting all of the marriage, children and dieting questions in interviews.

  16. Dani2 says:

    Saying that her getting pregnant is not something that defines her does not mean that she doesn’t want kids. And even if she had said she didn’t want kids doesn’t mean she’s not allowed to change her mind, it’s her life, not anyone else’s. Congrats to her.

  17. Ann says:

    I didn’t get that from her quotes at all. No where does she say that she never wants to have kids. She was just saying that having kids or not doesn’t define who she is. I totally agree with her sentiment. I have children but I never refer to myself as a mom. I know plenty of women who will say things like “I can’t meet up for drinks because I’m a mom” whereas I’d say something like “I can’t meet up for drinks because I have to go be with my kids,” It might sound the same to most people but MOM is not my identity, it’s a relationship. I totally get where she’s coming from, no one asks men stupid questions about when they will have kids or how their having a kid has affected their work etc.

  18. Ginger says:

    I saw the happy news last night but I didn’t see any backlash. Perhaps it’s because I saw the news on her blog. Anyway, I’m happy for her! I do think it’s fairly common for Women to change their minds about children. If the timing is right and such. My best friend has never wanted children but she’s a rocking godmother to my son. I recall getting asked constantly about children after I married my ex husband . I felt it was really insensitive and rude when it came from people I barely knew. I’ve always wanted kids but at the time of our wedding I was still in college and it just seemed like the timing wasn’t right. When I did start to try and get pregnant years later, again I was still being asked the pregnancy question. At that time I’d had two miscarriages and seemingly could not conceive and maintain a pregnancy (eventually I did get pregnant with my son) so it hurt any time someone would ask. I keep all of these things in mind now that I’m older. I know from personal experience what a loaded question that can be to a Woman so I stay away from that topic unless it’s brought up in conversation.

    • Lilacflowers says:

      The topic really should never be asked. It is incredibly insensitive and rude of people to ask those questions and people who are supposedly close, like family members and friends, should know better. I am so sorry you went through those losses and pain.

  19. Mimz says:

    Well from ages 23 to 27 i swore to my friends who already had kids or were planning to, that i did not want kids. I grew up watching my oldest sis getting pregnant with twins and we all still live.together to this day, i raised those boys and they are like my own kids.

    Thay being said, i recently turned 29 and in the past year i have been changing my mind. I might want children after all. And no one is holding it against me and im glad. I changed my mind, i have the right to!

    Congrata to Zooey im happy for her. Sometimes being with someone for 10 years doesnt mean much when u’re in your early twenties. And when you date again in your thirties you realize things you want much quicker. I bet thats what happened with her boyfriend now.


    • Kitten says:

      “Sometimes being with someone for 10 years doesnt mean much when u’re in your early twenties. And when you date again in your thirties you realize things you want much quicker”

      ^This so much.

      (and that’s not to say that there aren’t plenty of women in their twenties who know exactly what they want and settle down really quickly)

      • I agree, Kitten. And just making inferences–she got divorced after 2 years of marriage (if I’m remembering right)…she probably didn’t feel comfortable or even sure if she wanted kids with that person.

  20. Amy says:

    I would hope we wouldn’t hold it against women and declare them hypocrites if they changed their mind and did whatever works for them. It does happen.

    People get married when they say they won’t. People have kids when they declare it’ll never happen. To me it just sounds like she was defending women not getting sht on by asking those questions and she didn’t want every day to be ‘bump watch!’

    Congrats to her and I hope it works out with her show, she’s definitely going to be an adorable pregnant woman considering her style.

    • minime says:

      People like to ask for all those intimate questions and hold it sacred. A lot of my friends started to ask everyone around them when they would get married right after they put a ring on it (even to those that wouldn’t have a partner). It’s like some secret club that they have entered and they can’t stop inviting you to make part of 😉
      I find these questions pretty annoying and insensitive. Specially concerning the baby question since there are plenty of unpleasant reasons why someone might not have a child…and then there is also freedom of choice.
      Anyway to everyone who asks me a about marriage I always answer that I think it’s a hypocrite institution just to annoy them. I will most probably end up married in the close future but I don’t think we women should be defined by that. I don’t think it’s hypocrisy to not want to disclose intimate details of my life.

      • I have been guilty of asking women/married women when are they going to have more babies (or any), but for me it’s one of those questions that I ask when I don’t know what else to say….but I am trying to stop, as I now know that it can be perceived as hurtful or intrusive. But I guess I never saw it as something that NEEDS to happen (just being genuinely curious/trying to start a conversation) because I’ve never been raised to believe that that was all I was worth. And I come from a family of five.

      • TheOnlyDee says:

        VC, It’s great that you have that self awareness. I think most people assume that asking someone when and if they are going to have a child (or more children) is a harmless question, but it can be kind of a touchy subject.

      • Yeah, I kinda felt bad (I stopped after I started reading a lot of posts about how some of you guys felt about it 🙂 ) because I’m FB friends with my 6th grade teacher…and I asked her once a few years ago if she was going to have another baby (she has one kid)..but looking back on it now, I do think that she has fertility problems, because (just from what I gather from what I know of her and things she’s said) that she’d been trying to have a kid since she got married (9 years ago), had one about five years ago, and hasn’t had one since……

      • minime says:

        VC: I understand what you’re saying. I think there was a time when I would also do those kind of questions when I didn’t know what else to talk about (it’s difficult to control). I think I got more aware of it getting older and because some very close friend went through horrible times trying to get pregnant. I also don’t mind that much if a friend asks me occasionally, like once every 10years ;), if I’m marrying soon but I do dislike ppl that ask it every freaking time. And specially if my boyfriend is standing next to me. He has no problem with the question but I find it so freaking rude.

  21. AmandaPanda says:

    that’s zooey in the pink dress? wouldn’t have picked her out of a lineup. what happened to her face?

    anyway, agree with all the others re the (non) hypocrisy.

  22. Jmo says:

    Well call me, or any woman who ever said, or expressed a desire at any time in their life about not wanting children a hypocrite! I did it, said all the time I would NEVER have children. Felt it deep inside too. Then I met him. 18 years later, two beautiful kids. Yeah, sometimes it takes the right person, the right situation. She looks so happy, congrats to them both!

  23. kibbles says:

    Women are allowed to change their minds about wanting/not wanting to have kids. Many women make that decision based on who they ultimately end up with, if the timing never worked out, or if the timing is perfect, or due to medical reasons, or because it was a “surprise”. Honestly, why should anyone care if it isn’t his or her own life? As long as the baby is loved and well taken cared for, or as long as a woman is happy with her choice, then it really isn’t anyone’s business. People change their minds about these sorts of life choices all the time, it’s just that celebrity women are constantly asked the baby question. How should a single woman respond? It’s not like any woman can read into the future to determine whether she will end up with a man she wants to procreate with or if she will end up alone and childless. I’m still single. If I get to a certain age where I am still single and can no longer have children, I don’t want anyone’s pity nor do I want to be called a hypocrite because of something I said a decade ago. These are personal decisions no one should really be privy to.

    • CatJ says:

      Right on Kibbles. I am 57, only married for 9 years, for the first time, and have never wanted kids, and knew it from age 25. I can’t tell you how many times I have been asked why I never had kids…. I don’t even know what to say to anyone who asks, except the women who are in their 30’s and are asking me if it’s okay that they don’t have kids. I think they are asking me for advise on how to deal with people in their lives who expect them to of course, just want them, getting to an age that you better have one or two, what are you waiting for…….????
      and I can only tell them they don’t have to justify their decisions to anyone, it’s really nobody else’s business,,,, but, it’s tiring….

  24. Insomniac says:

    I know I’m just piling on, but I agree – I didn’t read “I never want children ever ever!” in any of those quotes. She just didn’t want any back then and was tired of being asked about it. Not a big deal.

  25. PeaBea says:

    Where did she say she didn’t want babies? The quotes don’t say directly one way or another.

    It’s like when Celebitchy’s(the blog) favourite gets criticized for not responding with a direct yes or no answer. How can you answer that question? If you say yes, and never get pregnant you are a sad baron woman putting everything else first over family. If you say no and then get pregnant, you are a hypocrite.

    It’s a stupid question in the first place.

  26. Kori says:

    Zooey’s sister Emily is expecting #2 so that’s nice for the sisters who seem very close.

  27. scout says:

    Then they find someone they love , could have children with and boom… 🙂

  28. lolamd says:

    Honestly who cares if she ever said she did not want kids. So what she changed her mind. I used to tell my friends and family that I was never getting married or having kids and now I am married with a kid. Big deal. Congrats Zooey.

  29. MeloMelo says:

    When I first read the news yesterday all I could think was that it was an accident. From what I read theyve been dating since Summer.
    Honestly, this is how the Batch should have done it.

  30. INeedANap says:

    To make her point stronger, I would argue that there would be no need for a Hypocrisy Police if interviewers didn’t ask female artists such an unnecessary, invasive question.

  31. Mia4S says:

    Really it’s no ones business if she changes her mind. Hell, Laura Linney just gave birth to her first at 49! Her call.

    I agree the “mother as most important job a woman ever achieves” is a silly media narrative. It’s very important and the most important personal position absolutely…but I must confess I’m far more interested and impressed by the women currently researching the cure for cancer and freeing children from sex slavery. It’s even sillier when looked at that way!

  32. Tiffany says:

    Hypocrisy. No. Surprised. Yep. From her interviews she struck me as an intelligent, driven person who works hard at her career and brand. Now she is a intelligent, driven career person who is expecting a child.

    • AustenGirl says:

      +100000000000! I was really shocked by Celebitchy’s “hypocrite” angle on this–it seems so out of character for this site. The writers here normally champion women. Calling (or merely suggesting) Zooey a hypocrite for changing her mind is a disservice to women.

  33. sara says:

    I think people, especially women, get upset because they tend to identify themselves with a certain celebrity/public figure. Many women look at a celebrity or even a character and feel good about their decision to be unmarried or childfree because that star is and then when that celebrity ups and gets married or has a baby and it really irritates that person and they call them a hypocrite. Cameron Diaz is an example. Women in their 40’s liked her because she was this non-married independent women who didn’t want marriage or children and then she has a surprise marriage and women are like shit….that sucks. “Now I feel betrayed and I am single in my 40’s and too late for a baby etc. or even to get married.” Which they are not, but some feel this way. Even the character Carrie on Sex and the City got women mad because they identified with Carrie and her not being married at 40 something and she ups and gets married and people felt upset and thought it was unfair.
    I can see why women get mad at people they look up too. I would be angry if I looked at someone in the media who was single and childfree and was adamant about not getting married or having kids and then they do these things. I would feel betrayed; especially if I was at an age were I was at the end of my reproduction years or not seeing many eligible men around. Not all women want this so-called “package”, but seeing a person you identify with or even a good friend all of a sudden do this, makes you re-think your choices for a bit, which makes you feel upset. This happens at any age were friends/family do one thing while saying another. I am not picking at older women, but it is harder to obtain certain wants after a certain age.

    So, I can see were people called her out as being a hypocrite, even though she has every right to live her life the way she wants. JMO.

    • I understand that, but I think people who legitimately get upset about that sort of thing aren’t confident in themselves/worry too much about what other people think. People who are a-holes about you not being married or not having kids or not having more than one kid or having what they consider to be too many kids–they’re gonna be a-holes no matter what. Once you learn to cut those people out, then your life’ll be much better.

    • Kitten says:

      Yeah I def. do think there’s a little bit of that going on with the negative reaction she’s gotten.
      I think a certain faction of the child-free female population liked seeing themselves represented by a smart and talented woman like Zooey. Now that’s gone, so there’s a bit of disappointment there.

      @VC-Yes, I agree in theory but it’s easier to say that when you’re a teenager. As someone in my thirties, who’s peers are all married with kids, I do sometimes feel like people look at me like a science experiment. And of course I’m confident with my decisions, but that doesn’t change the fact that we live in a society that very much values marriage and reproduction. There are societal expectations that are difficult to avoid, no matter how strong you are. I have two married friends who are not having kids-ever-and they’ll tell you that it gets exhausting having to repeat the same refrain over and over again. It’s tiring to have to explain your personal choices as if they need to be justified.

      • littlestar says:

        I turned 30 last summer and have been starting to get the “when are you going to have kids” question more and more. The response I’m now giving people is that I don’t want kids because when I look at people I know who do have children, they are never truly happy with their lives. Most people actually do respond with “yeah, that is actually true”. Not to say they don’t love their kids, because I have no doubt they do and that yes, they are happy at times. But overall, everyone I know who has kids (and young kids especially) seem to be miserable. One of my best friends has two young children and she is constantly unhappy, family members with kids are always struggling financially (and what I’ve really noticed is that having children has really affected their marriages, and not in a good way), another friend said for years and years she didn’t want a child and ended up having one in her mid-30s because she thought it was “something she had to do” and she has made several comments to me over the years that she wishes that she can go back in time and rethink her decision. I think that there’s some unspoken rule, that a person cannot truly say what having and raising children is really like, because heaven forbid anyone was honest about childrearing and didn’t make it all magic and rainbows and butterflies and love.

      • Andrea says:

        I couldn’t agree more with littlestar above. I know several people plum miserable and even regret having kids, but they will never admit it to people, because it is shown as the worst thing in the world you can do. I was raised by a mother who regretted having a child and trust me when I say although I am glad I am here with you all, I feel bad for my mother that she felt she had to have a token child rather than do the fulfilling career things that she bitterly regrets she didn’t get to do and brings them up on a repeated basis now.

        With my own friends, once kids come along, they become #1 priority and the relationship ultimately suffers. I have never seen where the relationship is stronger after kids(please don’t wax poetically about your experience; I am sure there are some out there, but they are very rare), I have seen cheating, drinking, men and women feeling neglect, lack of affection, attention, sex etc. The best scenario I have seen is my one friend and it is only because she is a single mother, but she seems the happiest out of all of them. Her husband left her whilst pregnant and doesn’t pay child support and she and her son are thriving without him.

        What women don’t want to admit is this: not everyone has a motherly instinct in them. I am almost 34 and not wanted children; I’ve been saying it since I can remember. I feel I will deeply regret it and blame my child (like my mother did with me) if I have a child because there are other things I want to do that a child will inhibit me from doing (both financially and logistically). Another thing women don’t want to admit is this: some women and men deeply regret having kids. They’d never outright admit it, but you can pick up on it through actions and words and interactions with their kids. I have seen woman who have been this way and everyone talks about them like they are a “bad person”. Sadly though, adoption isn’t treated as something one should do (even in this day and age) so sadly, keeping a regret and punishing the child is somehow better than giving them away for adoption. That IMO, is a sad world we live in right there.

      • @littlestar
        I get what you mean. I’ve seen a lot of sides of having kids. My mother’s mother seemed to have kids because that’s what you did. She’s a great grandma, but from the stories I’ve heard when my mom was younger, my grandma didn’t seem to really enjoy her kids–it was just something that was expected. My mom’s older sister was more like her mother to her. I have an aunt that has four kids, and doesn’t really seem to enjoy it. Especially the last two times she got pregnant–she seemed to look at them as another chore. Or I have another aunt that likes the idea of having a baby, but doesn’t want to discipline her child–if it wasn’t for my uncle, their daughter would be a holy terror (well, even more of one, lol).

        I think it’s really only my parents (of the people that I know) who don’t act like kids totally cramped their style. Both of my parents acknowledge that having kids made them change their lifestyles. And not in a “I wish I never had you so I could go out” way–but basically trying to teach us that when you have kids, your life has to change, and if you can’t/won’t/don’t want to do that, then don’t have any kids.

        And just because you made me think of him–my dad’s younger brother is kinda odd about kids. Like he adamantly is opposed to making mini-me’s, but when he gets a girlfriend who has a kid (I’m thinking of one in particular), he has the kid more than the girlfriend does! I always found that really funny.

      • littlestar says:

        Andrea, I know exactly how you feel because that is how I feel too. I have never had that “biological clock” that made me desire a baby. I too feel that if I had a child, I would regret it and it’s not right to burden a child with their parents mistakes. Maybe it is selfish, but I just cannot see myself giving up sleeping in on the weekends, yoga and running, vacations and nice clothes and eating out with my husband whenever we feel like it. Perhaps it’s shallow, but those are the things that I love about my life and what make it enjoyable. No sleep, no money to do the things I love, and being responsible for a little life 24/7 sounds like a nightmare to me. It’s always mind-boggling to me how flippant people are about creating another HUMAN LIFE. Like it’s no big deal to make a baby, but somehow it’s more of a deal not to want a baby, you know? If people were more honest to themselves and others about what it’s really like to have a child, maybe there wouldn’t be so many unwanted/neglected kids out there today.

        V – it always sound like to me that you have really good parents and a great relationship with them. I’m lucky too that I had really good parents, they did stuff with me and my siblings as kids (took us to the movies, swimming, museums etc, we didn’t have a lot of money growing up but they made sure we were in activities like dancing, music lessons etc). I have a great relationship with them now where I can say we are actual friends. It’s always weird to me when people say, why do you talk to your parents so much and why do you spend so much time with them (when I lived close to them, I would always try and go home for the weekend to the farm as much as possible). I always find it weird when people DON’T want to spend time with their parents! I think wanting to spend time with your parents means your parents are the people who made the right decision in having kids for themselves and did the best job they possible could to raise you.

      • @littlestar
        I find it weird too! Like one of the reasons why my mom hates living where we are now, is because my dad’s side of the family is JUST like that–but not open about it. Like my aunt acts like she’s all about family–which is basically just at the holidays–but if it’s a normal, regular day, unless she wants/needs something from you, she won’t call you or visit you at all. Seriously–the last time my mom talked to my aunt was shortly after she was diagnosed with cancer, early last year, and my aunt wanted to borrow her truck. And this same aunt used to want me over her house all the time to babysit when my cousin was a toddler–but now that he’s bigger, she never invites me over anymore.

      • littlestar says:

        V, it’s funny how some people are like that! While I love where I live now, I HATE being a 7 hour drive away from my parents and siblings (and extended family that I love and friends). Thank goodness for the technology we have today so it’s easy to keep in touch. But it really does seem like the people who say they are “all about family” really don’t give a crap when it comes down to it! My dad’s side of the family is like that too. I just shake my head at it and only associate with them when I absolutely have to – people who are more about appearances first and foremost are just not worth the effort.

      • Christin says:

        The person who continually asked (rather, tried to guilt) me about having children ended up abandoning her three young children a couple of years ago.

        Some people are flippant about a huge decision, so never feel pressured about either marriage or children.

    • Celebwatch says:

      I agree some fans are disappointed with Zooey b/c they are feeling that they are the only ones single/childfree yet AGAIN.

      Let’s get real. Why don’t more women just admit that they will probably want children in the future although they don’t in the present? Simple: they don’t want to be pitied if children don’t happen. The truth is, the vast majority of women hypothetically do rather than hypothetically don’t want children.

      Because really, how can you not want someone to love forever, and children with that someone, children being an extension of that love? I think the small minority of people who don’t are simply either asexual or currently have a lot of exciting sexual options. The latter are mostly men, and even for them the buffet tends to shrink over time, however.

      • Andrea says:

        I am an almost 34 year old woman been with my boyfriend 8 years now and have no desire to extend that love. I have no desire whatsoever to have children and I am certainly not asexual. My boyfriend also has no desire what he considers a huge responsibility and financial burden just to pass on his seed(his words; he truly has no interest in children whatsoever either and actually does not want to hang out with people with children who talk about their children all the time). Your view on us “small miniority” is pretty narrow. You must live in a small community because in the big city, we know quite a few DINKS or people who simply do not want children for whatever reason.

      • littlestar says:

        And sometimes people just plain old don’t want children. I think it’s naive to say that just because you love someone and have kids with them, that love will last forever. Look how many people have kids and end up divorcing THEN use those kids as pawns in the divorce. I don’t want kids and I am not asexual (and come on, since when does sexuality have to do anything with wanting kids or not?! That’s pretty ignorant on your part), nor do I have tons of options. I am happily married with a healthy sex life. And as Andrea above says, I’m proud to be a DINK :D.

      • Celebwatch says:

        Asexual people have no erotic basis for wanting a partner, I guess that connection wasn’t clear. Without a partner (straight or gay) children are also much less likely, the large number of single mothers notwithstanding.

        You are now 30, 34, and surrounded by other DINKS. In ten years, most of them will no longer be in that category. Biological clock does not start ticking until late 30s for many women.

        I live in the second biggest city in America and not the burbs of it, so your assumption is wrong. I am also a leftist on probably 99.9% of issues, family included.

        Not wanting children “for whatever reason,” and “plain old don’t want children” are very obscure ideas.

        If you truly love someone worthy of that love, yes that love will last forever. For sure your love for your kids lasts forever, if you yourself are a decent person.
        If someone has reservations about kids because their own childhood was crappy, etc, of course that makes sense. If they can’t afford it, also. But that means they are missing out on some of the greatest experiences life has to offer us as individuals and as couples and as family units. All the popular talk these days about how grueling, hard, boring, etc, parenting is has completely done a disservice to children. To YOUR children, specifically, because even if you can’t stand being around kids, the way you feel about your kids will in no way compare to that generalized sense of antipathy.

      • becky1 says:

        Asexual? Really? Wow-that’s an odd assumption to make re: why people chose not to have kids. This sort of belief is why it is hard sometimes to be a person over a certain age without children….people jump to all sorts of incorrect conclusions.

  34. Courtney says:

    It may not have been an intended pregnancy. And she doesn’t exactly need to make a statement about that.

  35. msw says:

    God forbid someone accidentally get pregnant and choose to be happy about it. It’s called life and rolling with it. Changing your mind doesn’t make you a hypocrite. People are allowed to change their minds.

  36. gem says:

    I never wanted children. Asked my doctor to sterilise me when I was 21. Told my husband I would never have kids before we married as my career was my priority. Woke up one morning and decided I’d changed my mind. Fast forward 3 years and I’m sat here with my fantastic twin boys! Life’s like that. Doesn’t make anybody a hypocrite. I love Zooey too and am delighted for her!

  37. Rachel says:

    Congrats to her. People change their minds.

  38. Lucy says:

    Yeah, pretty much what everyone has already said. NOT a hypocrite, at all. Congrats to Zooey and Jacob!!!

  39. OhDear says:

    Congratulations to them on the impending whippersnapper!

  40. Sayrah says:

    Congrats to her! Of course now every wanna be grandmother will be justified in saying “you’ll change your mind someday” though 🙂

  41. Marianne says:

    First of all, she never out right said “I never want kids”. She just said it wasn’t her first priority in life.

    And secondly, sometimes people do change their opinions. Sometimes they don’t. *Shrugs*. All that matters is that Zooey is happy and healthy.

  42. Rachel Robbins says:

    One of the best things my mom shared with me was that she always felt pressure to have an answer for people when they asked her questions – and that I don’t have to let people pressure me into giving them hard and fast answers. Reporters/interviewers always want celebrities to come down on one side or the other – they make it very hard for people to be honest about the areas of grey or uncertainty in life.
    I think it is possible that my husband and I would have been perfectly happy child free – but when I got surprise pregnant our life just flipped over and changed. Now we have four (yes, FOUR!) children – and it’s great, and stressful, and beautiful, and exhausting.
    So no worries Celebitchy readers if you have one or none – we’ve taken some extra for the team of humanity…

  43. j.eyre says:

    I remember telling my husband repeatedly how much I did not want to ever get married to anyone.

  44. Veronica says:

    People’s opinions change with time. My mother swore up and down in her twenties that she’d never have kids…and then she had three of them in her thirties. Barring that, who knows how the pregnancy went down. Maybe they planned it…or maybe it was an accident, and after the deed was done, they decided to keep it. It happens.

    We need to stop punishing women for being human. It is sexist to harass women (and only women) about their reproductive status regardless if they change their minds later in life.

  45. Nicole says:

    They’re both super good looking. Congrats on the genes, kid.

  46. Carrie says:

    A change in partners can do wonders as well. I NEVER EVER wanted kids with my ex husband, but now five years after my divorce I’m genuinely excited to be having one with my second.

  47. Spin says:

    you don’t want them until you do. *shrug* congrats to her and wishing her a happy healthy baby!

  48. Lulu says:

    I’m in my early thirties and have NEVER wanted children. Not once. I was actually equal parts relieved and sad when I was told I would never be able to have biological children due to ovarian cancer because it meant no more defending myself to my family who couldn’t understand my feelings. But I was fortunate in that I woke up from what should have been a full hysterectomy to find they had managed to save my remaining ovary and uterus after all as they weren’t as damaged as thought and there is a (small) chance I could have children before they finally do the hysterectomy, and I went straight back to my family judging me again. I still have absolutely no desire for children. But I have the right to change my mind, and I have always been fully aware that one day I may want a child, biologically or otherwise or I could get pregnant without trying and actually be happy about it. People’s feelings and opinions can change as they grow or their situations change, and that is that person’s right.

  49. Lucky Charm says:

    My sister and her fiance are in their mid-40’s, first marriage for both. As soon as he told his mom they were engaged, the first thing she asked was “Are you going to have kids?” He was pretty shocked, but my sister said that she gets asked that question ALL. OF. THE .TIME. She never said she didn’t want kids, she just hadn’t met the man she wanted to have them with. Her life goal wasn’t to get married and have babies, but they would certainly be a welcomed part of her life if it happened. I have a girl and three boys, yet people kept asking us if we were going to try for another girl so that our daughter would have a sister and not be surrounded by boys! Why do some people think that the only point of existence for a woman of child-bearing age is to be married and have lots of babies? Like we are not worth anything as a human person, our only value is the children we produce?

  50. Juluho says:

    Sounds like she’s annoyed with the questions and answered it to shut interviewers up. Or maybe she didn’t know she wanted one until she found out she was pregnant, or she met the right person, or wanted more than a succesful career, or, I’ve seen this personally, had trouble conciveing and didn’t want to share that so just deflected the question. You never know. Having kids is a funny thing and pretty personal and I don’t even know why we ask people, I certainly never do.

  51. moot says:

    “Never been a focus” is not the same as “never want any, period.”

    Plenty of career-ambitious women start out by saying that having kids is not their focus or ambition, but end up having them later.

    For me, someone who actually never wanted kids, saying “not a focus” is hedging and making everyone understand that the work you’re doing is really super important to you as it’s own thing, and not as an in-between stage before you settle down to have kids.

    So as a child-free woman, when someone asks me the baby question, I don’t hedge by saying my work is so darn important to me that it’s all I’m focused on. I also don’t make it an argument about how insulting it is to keep getting asked that as a woman (which it is). Instead, I come straight out to say unequivocally, no, I’m not interested. No, don’t try to talk me into it. Perhaps I’ll change my mind one day, perhaps not. But my plan now is to never have kids. It’s a choice and I’ve made it.

    It’s like asking an atheist if they believe in God. Someone who has given it a lot of thought and has decided they can’t believe any god exists does not hedge the question. You only hedge or deflect if you have doubts or you’re leaving the door open for a change of heart later.

    Zooey’s past comments make me think she was hedging and deflecting all along.

    And to be clear, I’m fine with her approach. I think other people calling her a hypocrite is completely unfair and unnecessary. She didn’t want to answer the question in the first place and felt it was stupid having to. Now that she’s pregnant, everyone’s making her previous comments sound like she was a child hater. I’m totally on her side, here.

  52. defoxy says:

    One of the most heartfelt things I thought I knew was that I didn’t want children. But then I met “the one” when I was 33 years old (who wasn’t as it turned out, who knew?) and I went on to have two absolutely gorgeous children when I was 37 and then 41 years old. Since then I’ve moved on, and am bringing them up alone.

    Biology is a powerful thing. Sadly biology does not work alongside sociology and so some of us women end up being the sole provider and if we’re fortunate ( I was, he’s a good dad if a bit flakey) then we make babies with someone who can do a bit of the job if not all of the job.

  53. Dinah says:

    I am happily single sunshine and child-free. When people ask me why I have never married, I reply: “Because I wouldn’t want me for a wife.” When people ask why I have never had children, I reply: “Because I wouldn’t have sex with a man.” That usually satisfies them and I aim to please since I’ve got so much life to give outside of myself.

  54. melain says:

    She looks so different in these pics. And your headline is quite a stretch. The quotes you reference don’t say anything like that.

    Can’t imagine how annoying it would be to have people call me a hypocrite for growing and changing throughout my life. Many people mature and see things from new perspectives or learn new things about life/themselves. I certainly have, and it changed what I wanted for myself and my life.

    I didn’t want a corporate job or a husband when I was 20. And here I am, almost 2 decades later and I’m grateful to have both (most days).

  55. Kali says:

    People have the right to change their mind. Just bc she is a celebrity doesn’t meanshe has to share her personal life. i didn’t interpret her commit as anti-baby. I said the same thing until I was ready to have a baby.