Zooey Deschanel doesn’t want kids: “It was never an ambition, I like working”

It’s funny how one good role can change my idea of an actor or actress. I never really had a hate-on for Zooey Deschanel, I just categorized her as “one of those annoying woman-child actresses with an affected hipster shtick.” That wasn’t hate – it was just annoyance. Then I started watching The New Girl, and I never looked back. Are some of Zooey’s mannerisms annoying? Sure. Is her affected shtick grating at times? Yep. But what I love about The New Girl is that she makes fun of her shtick too, and I’m consistently impressed with the way Zooey-the-Celebrity’s issues are dealt with within the show. Anyway, I recommend The New Girl. It’s grown into one of my favorite comedies. So, Zooey takes the May cover of Marie Claire – I actually like the shot. The interview is decent too:

She‘s not good in interviews: “I don’t do well with direct questions,” she admits. Deschanel tends to think out loud, talking in rough drafts, starting a sentence, then stopping, then starting another one, crumpling that one up, too. “I’m a person who gets better with practice,” she says. “Getting older is awesome — because you get more practice.”

Finding a new kind of fame on television: “It’s harder to do normal things,” she says. No longer can she run blithely into Ralph’s for a head of lettuce or some paper towels. “I think that if you haven’t been to the grocery store in a really long time, it’s really easy to get very out of touch,” she says.

Zooey on the criticism that she’s playing a “stereotype of female meekness, for being too girly, too dorky, too Zooey.”: “People do think I’m weird,” she says. “I don’t know why.”

On her career: “I always knew there was nothing else I wanted to do,” she says. “I wanted to sing, perform, act.”

She was a chubby kid, and she was bullied: At 12 she was “chubby,” which made her a target of bullies. “I was ridiculed. I still have in me the same awareness when I was 12 and chubby and a girl was spitting in my face. I’m the same person. Certainly you change, and you change perspective, you have other experiences. But isn’t it funny – I can still remember when I was treated differently from the way I’m treated now…I really don’t know why she spit at me. I just talked to her. I guess I wasn’t allowed to talk to her. I remember I couldn’t believe it.” The moment was searing, scarring, but ultimately transformative. It inspired Deschanel to reimagine herself, and over the next year, she carefully, painstakingly recast her persona, becoming more open, more empathic, less “stubborn.” She also shed 30 pounds. “All of a sudden,” she says, “everybody treated me differently.”

On whether she’s dating: “Honestly, I’m just going through a divorce, so I don’t really think that’s something I want to get into now. I don’t have time to date. I literally – don’t-have-time.”

On not wanting children: “That’s never been my focus… My sister [Emily] was always very motherly, babysitting and stuff. I like kids, and I like being around kids – but it was never an ambition, something, like, I need…I like working. That’s what I like doing. I like to work.”

[From Marie Claire]

Yay! I love what she says about not wanting kids. I like that she didn’t hedge and play it “sweet” and talk about how it will totally happen for her. I love when women just come out and say that they have no motherhood ambitions. As for Zooey’s non-defense of “The New Girl backlash” and the backlash against Zooey’s shtick personally – well, The New Girl had an episode devoted to it, and it was wonderfully written. I would like to hear Zooey verbalize the substance of those arguments in interviews, but maybe she’s just tired of talking about it.

Photos courtesy of Marie Claire.

 

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114 Responses to “Zooey Deschanel doesn’t want kids: “It was never an ambition, I like working””

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    • Kathy says:

      I agree.

      I don’t think JA ever really wanted kids, but felt she always had to allude to “maybe someday” in her interviews to keep the female public on her side. Which is a shame for her.

      I have kids. Are other women who have kids a bit more relatable to me? Yes. But only in that aspect of my life. Just like people also from Ohio are more relatable. Or brunettes are more relatable. But only in those specific areas. But if I spent all of my time with people only like me, that would suck.

      I wish people could just say how they felt, like: I’m gay. I don’t want kids. I don’t like dogs. I never got the appeal of Benicio Del Toro. And so on…

      • TheOriginalVictoria says:

        Everything you said +1,000,000

      • Ycnan says:

        Maybe AJ did at some point want kids, and thought she had lots of time to have them, put it off because of her career, then life happened. She got divorced, dated people but didn’t find someone to have kids with and time marched on. She changed . It happens all the time, just we don’t have all those interviews to haunt us.

        But who the heck really knows.

        I think women are all kinds of things, some are meek, some are strong, some are both and many things in between. Geez.

      • Ruth says:

        Oh I wish these comments could come with a “like” button..

      • jesstar says:

        Oh geez. Maybe she wanted kids, but the time was never right. Maybe she has fertility issues. Maybe she didnt want to say Never and leave her options open.

        Life is complicated & if she wanted to wait instead of having a child that ended up being raised by nannies, then so be it. This post isnt about her.

      • kibbles says:

        Maybe if JA was blunt about not wanting to have kids, she would receive less sympathy about Brad Pitt leaving her for Angelina Jolie. Because it would make a lot of sense if Brad wanted kids to want to divorce JA and find a woman open to having a family. It wouldn’t just be Brad having an affair and leaving poor JA. There would be a valid reason behind the collapse of their marriage.

      • kira says:

        I think Aniston encouraged the speculation–probably, because babies equals attention in celeb land. Just google her name and babies and out pops a bunch of quotes. She said, “I love babies. I want to be a young mother.” “Somewhere out there is the father of my children,” “I plan to have kids in a year,” “I have always wanted children,” “I want it all,” etc. She did not have to take the questions. Or, she could have voiced uncertainty, but she picked the opposite route. It smacks of manipulation. That’s why Zooey’s
        honesty is so refreshing, by comparison.

      • Minime says:

        @ Leah: It was also my fist thought when I was reading this.
        @ Kathy: Couldn’t agree more. It’s great that celebrities don’t contribute to this one-sided vision of the society of gender roles. I wasn’t sure about Zooey Deschanel, but I like her more and more…and New Girl is a great show indeed!

      • EarthWindFire82 says:

        Agreed 100%

        It’s like some of these actors are worried about offending or alienating that they end up lying their ass-phalts off! If you don’t want kids, that’s fine. I respect you more for being real than selling lies.

  1. tmbg says:

    It’s nice to know there’s at least a handful of people in this world who don’t want kids. Sometimes I feel like some kind of leper because I knew at age 9 that I never wanted them and 27 years later, I still don’t. (And thankfully my husband is on the same page as me.)

    I enjoy the company of animals much more than kids.

    • bns says:

      I agree. My dogs are like my children.

      I’m sure motherhood is wonderful and magical and whatever, but it’s not for me.

    • Kimbob says:

      LOL…I totally relate! I’m the same way. Don’t feel ashamed of that….there are people like you out here. I think it’s a positive quality, not a negative one.

      I had a friend who had a baby (her 1st and only) when she was 40 years old. I was supportive, threw her a baby shower…all that jazz. Immediately after she had the baby, she started lecturing/describing how “wonderful” it is to be a mother. I put up w/it & didn’t say anything, but it was quite annoying. I’ll never understand why people have to try to convince others that their reality is “the best.”

      Oh, BTW, my friend started drinking again (she was in recovery) right about the time the baby was turning 2 years old. For about a decade she continued to drink. Her husband divorced her, he got remarried, & he finally had to assume full custody of the child, as the mother wouldn’t/couldn’t stop drinking. I was sincerely grateful I didn’t “buy into” her joys of motherhood.

      • Jazzmin says:

        Not knowing your friend personally, but from what you posted she sounds like she was a “fuc* up” before motherhood.

      • LadyJane says:

        You sound like such a good, sympathetic and caring friend… You sound like you are actually reveling in the terrible turn her life took after she had a child, because she had the temerity to say how wonderful motherhood was for her.

        And on Zoey – call back when she is 39 and see if she still feels the same way….

      • Jaye says:

        @Kimbob…It sounds like you are saying that motherhood drove your friend back to the bottle. And maybe the stress of motherhood, compounded with other stressors triggered her drinking again. But if children were the root cause (or one of the root causes) of alcoholism, there would be a lot of women out there drunk off their asses. But maybe that wasn’t what you were insinuating.

        @LadyJane…perhaps ZD will change her stance when she gets closer to 40, perhaps she won’t. There are a lot of people out there who just don’t want children and that’s okay, too. Not everyone has paternal aspirations.

      • bluhare says:

        I didn’t read any of what you guys said into her comment. I read that she got sick of getting lectured about how wonderful motherhood is and how you don’t know what love is until you’ve had a baby. And then after all that, her friend decided drinking was better than motherhood.

        That’s what I read.

      • alexandra says:

        I completely agree with your theory. Children make people crazy.

      • Deja says:

        omg i have a similar friend. As SOON as she had her kid…ALL she does is say how “magical it is…how beautiful, bla bla” give me a break…..
        I think it’s magical when my dog comes up and kisses me when I fake cry :)

      • EarthWindFire82 says:

        Motherhood is great, but I wouldn’t dare shove it down the throats of everyone as the next best thing. I believe what works for me may not work for you and vice versa.

        Sometimes, people let society push them into doing things they don’t want. Eventually, the truth comes out.

      • laji says:

        Sometimes, people who are too revved up about something they didn’t feel not very long ago are really just trying to convince themselves. That’s what our brains do, they try to convince us that that high-impact decision we made was the right one and the best one regardless of the reality. If our brains didn’t do that, we would be in constant meltdown over “would’ve, could’ve, should’ve” thoughts that would lead to depression, possibly suicide.

        Not armchair psychologising your friend’s alcoholism, but it’s possible her alcoholism was brought on by the conflict between wanting to believe that having a child was the most amazing thing to have happened in her life and the reality that it perhaps might not have been. Of course, I don’t know anything about the details, so that’s just a theory and not the truth. The two could be unrelated.

        However, the psychology is true: people who try to hard to convince other people are usually looking for corroboration to make themselves feel better.

      • Alice says:

        “I’ll never understand why people have to try to convince others that their reality is “the best.”

        Um…isn’t that what you just did?

        It bugs me that women who don’t want kids feel the need to preach about their lifestyle choice while complaining that they get preached at.

        I don’t want kids. But my mom did and she did a great job and I had a great childhood so yeah, I can’t exactly rag on the whole motherhood thing.

        Btw, you sound like a terrible friend.

    • KateNonymous says:

      I’ve always wanted kids, and I love being a mom. But I know plenty of people who don’t–and while I don’t know their specific reasons, I can come up with lots on my own. Seriously, this is not easy. And why do it if you don’t want to? I’m always impressed when people know they don’t want kids and say so, because there’s so much societal pressure to go in the other direction.

    • Cathy says:

      @bns & tmbg…As another person who has dogs over children, I totally agree with you. Never wanted children, and at 49 years old I don’t regret that choice.

    • Samigirl says:

      I’m, a mom, but it absolutely offends me when other mothers try to push it into the faces of those who aren’t mothers…”OH YOU HAVE TO HAVE KIDS!” Or, “You don’t want children? THAT’S HORRIBLE!” No, it’s not. It’s ok to not want kids. Sometimes, women suck.

      • ZenB!tch says:

        I’m a second generation Latina. I don’t get that from my fellow American women of any race except for older ladies but when I go to the Latino areas the immigrant women look at me with pity. Then when I tell them it’s by choice they look at me like I’m insane. They almost worship children it’s cultural.

        They would probably give me the same look if I had kids because my American Latina friends who have kids all have 1 or 2.

      • Ladytron2000 says:

        “I’m a second generation Latina. I don’t get that from my fellow American women of any race except for older ladies but when I go to the Latino areas the immigrant women look at me with pity.”

        Sorry, as a fellow second generation Latina, I can safely say I’ve unfortunately experienced those “pitying looks” from ALL nationalities. Every older woman in whatever culture I had been chilling with, has given me the “What the hell is wrong with you?!?!?” lecture. It’s not just Latinos who have baby fever, there’s something that instinctively has to be defective in you as a woman if you don’t want children.

        I LOVE my 20 nieces and nephews, but I can say I love even more when they go home and I get my life back! Besides, I’m completely against anything that would steal $$$ from my shoe budget.

    • ZenB!tch says:

      I was born not wanting kids. My mom bought me baby dolls and I would trash them. I wanted Barbie because she was young and free. I wanted games and Star Wars toys. Anything else

      I’ve turned 40 – still no clock ticking – except maybe toward the day I can no longer get pregnant.

      I love my BFFs kids but it’s not for me.

      • tmbg says:

        My trouble is I can barely be around kids without being exhausted after an hour or so.

        It was a little bit different when my niece was older and into American Girl dolls, because I enjoyed dressing them up and doing their hair with her, but my active nephews and cousin just left me feeling sapped of energy.

        Even if I lived in the Twilight Zone and wanted children, there’s no way I could do it. I absolutely need anxiety medication and going off of it would be impossible. Same with the anti-depressant I take. I really don’t know how women who take these meds pre-pregnancy and then have to stop them during the pregnancy survive. I’d be having panic attacks for the whole nine months!

      • angella says:

        zooey brings to light this new girl…one who is potentially child free, educated, confused, single, with few assets, socially/dating retarded, great career, fabulous hair/wardrobe/shoes but feels incomplete. she is me in the show, and i adore her. i’ve long sung songs to thematic moments in my life and i hum bars during awkward silences (unknowingly, mostly but it is absolutely something people love in me). when i say i sing, generally when a popular song plays i replace words with “poo” or “poop”. in recent years i have come to learn there are SO many of you just like me!!!

    • merc says:

      I’m so with you there. I like to work and I like my independence. I’m told my attitude might change when I get older or meet ‘the one’ and I’m open to it, but I appreciate the honesty of those who say they are happy without kids.

  2. Bite me says:

    Yay for Zoey no bullshit response about the motherhood issue

  3. MariPily says:

    I really hate when reporters even ask that question of women. Who cares? I think the bullying and how it still haunts her was by far the more interesting part of this article, not the current or future state of her womb.

  4. Rose says:

    I am still so annoyed by her. Anytime I see her on TV with her polka dots and mary-janes, I feel the need to change the channel. I really dislike her Hanes commercial too.
    I used to like her. I don’t know when this happened.

    • Sue L. says:

      I completely agree with you. I don’t see her appeal. That dazed “I’m cmpletely out of it” look that she has is just too annoying. I do admit that her frankness about not wanting children is refreshing. Now if that Aniston chick could only learn from this…

    • Mouse says:

      I was just thinking the same thing! I used to love her, but now she just annoys me no end. I’ve tried watching The New Girl and I can’t stand it. Good for her for her success I guess, but the personality I used to think made her unique she’s now using as a gimmick and it’s made her a lot less interesting.

    • amanda says:

      I can’t stand her. I used to like her, too, and then I saw “500 Days of Summer” and I realized that she IS that girl. She’s not playing roles, she’s playing herself, because she’s always the same person in every role. And that person is incredibly annoying. Gawker has an awesome feature called “Zooey Wowee!” (they created it because she called them “mean”- typical). In it they refer to her as things like “Zooey Deschanel, Animated Hipstamatic Photograph” and “Zooey Deschanel, Living Pinterest Board” and “Zooey Deschanel, Overemphatic Stage Wink”. It’s great. I highly recommend it for people who find her grating and obnoxious.

  5. Rhiley says:

    I am struggling to hold on to my Zooey love. I loved She & Him and 500 Days of Summer. I loved her deadpan humor and indie street cred. But Zooey Deschanel the superstar is painfully annoying to me and I think it is disappointing that she is embracing it so much. For instance, I love Parker Posey and Mary Louise Parker, and I think they both have had great careers without having their faces on the cover of a magazine each month. An aside, I cannot understand how Billy Crudwhatever would leave MLP for Claire Danes. MLP is so much sexier and interesting than Claire Danes (imo). I hate to say it, but I think Zooey Deschanel is a sell out, which is fine, but it is boring. She may make more money now but when New Girl is cancelled it is going to be hard for her and she will likely never be able to go back to being a successful indie actress/singer.

    • Auby says:

      Agreed. I didn’t mind her in her supporting roles in the films I’ve seen her in, though she much more abrasive in those roles. I also like Parker Posey and she’s never sold out which is great. She kind of sold out, I watched The New Girl, and just find it quite annoying.

    • Snookie Wookie says:

      The fact that Mary Louise Parker is known to be a hateful, raging bitch might have something to do with it. (Billy leaving her, I mean.) Not that that makes it classy what he did, but just because she’s lovely or interesting on TV does not mean she is lovely in person. At all. Working in Hollywood for 7 years has shown me that.

      • Jazzmin says:

        A woman might be a raging bitch or a nice sweet girl; if a man is going to cheat he will cheat regardless. Blaming the woman when a man chooses to cheat? Why does society, including other women always blame the wife when a man cheats? Such nonsense.

  6. Jazzmin says:

    Women get asked this question more than men because GASPS!! how dare a woman say “I don’t want kids” since we are born with a uterus, must MUST HAVE KIDS!! how selfish of a woman to dare utter the words “I don’t want kids” OFF WITH HER HEAD!. On another note, I don’t get the appeal of Zooey. I know, I know… she is quirky and cute blah blah blah..I don’t see what others see. She is not a great singer, her voice is weak and so is her acting.

  7. Jackie says:

    i love her on the show, but i can’t stand to watch the other characters. i find them really obnoxious. i wish she was the only main character.

    love her schtick. don’t get why some women have an issue with it. i have more concern about sofia vergara’s schtick. i find that much more stereotypical and sexist.

  8. Neelyo says:

    After that interview, I think I can finally forgive her for THE HAPPENING. Mark Wahlberg? Never!

  9. TheOriginalVictoria says:

    What is wrong with her? She’s that goofy white girl you just can’t help but love. You gotta have one of those in your crew!

  10. Lipsy says:

    I don’t really have any strong positive/negative feeling towards Zooey but I LOVE NEW GIRL. I make my bf watch it, and he doesn’t put up a fight :) I love the writing, all the characters… So I’ll add a comment just to show my support :p

  11. LeeLoo says:

    You know somewhere Jennifer Garner is having a freakout/nervous breakdown.

  12. Tiffany27 says:

    I like that she doesn’t want kids. I’m kinda weird in that I think I want kids, but damn they can be so annoying!!

    • Lucky Charm says:

      Lol, yes they can! I love mine more than anything, but sometimes I would dream of just being their aunt and then I could send them home when they started to get on my nerves. :)

      I always wanted to be a mom, and glad that I am, but it definitely isn’t for everyone. I’ve seen too many kids in homes where the mom, or dad, only had them because they “were expected to” and made it obvious they didn’t like being parents.

    • MariPily says:

      Tiffany, kids can be extremely annoying. And when they reach the teen years they can be downright hateful. I love being a Mom, though. Sometimes I miss my old life…the freedom, the extra cash, all of that…but most days, my kids are the best part of my life. There’s no right or wrong, though.

      • Jaye says:

        This!!! I just told my 16 year old son that he needed to clean the kitchen before the day was out and he had the audacity to give me the side eye. I politely invited him outside for a fair one if he was feeling THAT froggy. Needless to say, he’s in that kitchen scrubbing like his life depended on it. I’m a fairly easygoing mom most days…but don’t push your luck.

  13. Shoes says:

    Good for her for answering he way she wanted. But it’s really none of our business what any woman wants to do with her uterus. I’ve never needed a celebrity to affirm what I do or do not want to do with mine.

  14. Aria says:

    I agree with her feeling towards motherhood and I celebrate the fact she didn’t got the JA road but her whole public persona is quite anoying lately. I used to like her so much.

  15. k says:

    I like kids, have a past life in nannying, camp counselor-ing, etc. I don’t want to have kids, but mostly because I don’t have the resources. I also cannot stand the coddling parenting culture today. That said, I would probably try to adopt if I suddenly came into a ton of money.

  16. proth says:

    I’m sorry – how old is the girl? How does she know for sure? What happens when 10 years later she changes her mind?
    I mean Sandra Bullock had the same attitude for a while, and that got turned around.

    Of course it’s better PR to say you never want kids and then have them, then say you want then decide not to…the latter is treated as being “too selfish” and the former is treated as “you’ve seen the light”

    • Gine says:

      What does it matter how old she is? I’ve never wanted kids either, but I always get fed the “You’ll change your mind!” line from people, as if they know me better than I know myself, or as if I’m a slave to my hormones who won’t be able to keep from doing something I know isn’t right for me because my uterus will demand it. I’m 28 and still don’t want them. I know for sure, and I’ll never change my mind. It’s incredibly presumptuous and condescending to assume otherwise about anyone who’s made that decision–it’s not as if it’s been made lightly.

      And like I always tell people, I’d rather regret not having kids than regret having them.

      • Shelly says:

        I agree with everything you just said. I didn’t want kids ever in my life, and I still don’t want them at 40. The thought of having a kid literally makes me sick to my stomach. I don’t want to change my life. I like kids and adore my nieces and nephews, but to have to devote the next 18 years to one? No thanks. I have lots of pets, and that is just fine with me.

      • Jaye says:

        I agree. The decision to not have kids is just as valid as the decision to have them. Why can’t people just respect the decisions of others? Particularly when those decisions don’t hurt anyone else.

      • Be Relaxed says:

        @ Gine -
        Its possible that you may or may not change your mind the future. At 33, my boyfriend was so sure that he didnt want children that he was going to schedule a vasectomy. I advised him to not take such permanent measures, and he swore up and down that he knew himself and he absolutely did not want kids under any circumstances. Fast-forward 8 years, he is desperate to have children, and grateful that I advised him to hold off on the vasectomy.

        My point is that like you he does not make decisions lightly and knows himself incredibly well. I always stated that I never, never wanted kids and even I’m starting to think I might want one someday.

        I agree with you 100 % that choosing not to have children is a personal choice that people need to learn to respect. Not all women or men feel the need to reproduce or raise children.

    • proth says:

      So what if she changed her mind later on? Would you be more forgiving of her changing her mind if she decided to have kids, or deciding no she didn’t want to have kids after she said that she wanted them?

    • Lucky Charm says:

      Sorry, have to disagree. Neither of my sister’s have kids, because they never wanted them. They have always been truly content being Auntie to my and their friend’s kids. Some people just realize that they really are not interested in having children, their age doesn’t matter.

      Zoey may, or may not, change her mind but I don’t see why it’s imperative that every woman have a child just because she’s a woman.

    • layla says:

      “I’m sorry – how old is the girl? How does she know for sure? What happens when 10 years later she changes her mind?”
      ——-

      I am 37 and have never “wanted kids”. Not at 17, not at 27 and still, more than ever, not at 37.

      What happens if at 39 or 42 I change my mind…so be it. But until that time *if* it ever happens (and at this stage with no incling of a clock EVER having started to tick, I highly doubt it), my stance, like Zooey’s is that of not wanting/needing to have children.
      Pure and simple.

    • Violet says:

      She may look young, but she’s in her 30s so she’s definitely old enough to know her own mind.

      I have several friends who’ve known all their lives that they did not want to have children, and that hasn’t changed even though they’re now at an age where their biological clocks should theoretically be ringing.

      As for me, I always thought I would have kids. I probably would’ve had some if my marriage had worked out, but I’m actually quite content to be childfree especially since it means I’ll be able to retire early.

  17. Eve says:

    Sometimes I find her annoying, but overall I think she’s super cute — like, adorably cute, so damn cute that it sort of grates on me which (ironically) may explain why I find her annoying sometimes, eh…

  18. Hubbahun says:

    Yay for Zooey – at last a woman who admits that, for some of us, having kids is not part of our plan – and that there’s nothing wrong with that.

  19. bettyrose says:

    She’s always kinda struck me as a poor man’s Martha Plimpton, but I don’t dislike her.

    At any rate, as someone who has also never wanted kids, I think speaks highly of parenthood – and motherhood in particular – that it is NOT for everyone.

  20. Lana Moon says:

    Right on! Thanx Zooey for just putting it out there. It’s nice to read an article with some truth in it for a change.

  21. Lucky Charm says:

    It’s SO much better for everyone (the person, society) for someone to know they don’t want kids and not have them, than the alternative (having kids and not wanting them). I fully support a person’s decision to not want/have kids. Sometimes I wish I could have returned mine for a refund and taken a great vacation instead, lol!

  22. Paisley says:

    I feel totally isolated in this suburb in the deep south. Get asked 3 questions.Am I Republican. Am I Baptist.Do I have kids,what??Why not. See ya.We moved here for my husbands job from the North Eastern area of the US and after living all over the world this is the first place that has made me feel like such a foriegner. No kids,no friends. We are desperately trying to get out of here. Please send us positive thoughts. Won the Lotto the other day $3. LOL Had to drive out of state to even get the ticket. Oh man.

    • normades says:

      So sorry to hear that..try to move hon if you can!

      • Beck says:

        I know how you feel and I have lived in the South all of my life. My hubby and I do not have that many friends because we do not have kids. Women definitely treat you differently. I have been asked if I was able to have kids many times. Like that is anybody’s business. I stopped saying that I didn’t want kids (because of the negative reactions) and offered another explanation for not having kids (it was also true). I was then told that I should adopt. It’s crazy down here for child-free couples.

      • sup says:

        @Beck I’m in a similar situation, I got reactions similar to yours and did the same things you did. Why do you think women treat you differently if you’re not a mother? I’ve never been able to understand it.

    • Zoe says:

      The deep south needs more people like you. The reason why the deep south is the way it is, people like you move away and people don’t move in. Flaunt your eastern ways and seek out the non-conservatives. They’re hiding and somewhere in the shadows seeking out others just like them. First thing you need to do is leave the suburbs, it’s where they make the robots :)

  23. Mauibound says:

    I can totally respect her opinion on the kids issue, i’m in my 40′s now and have been very content with not having kids. Both my sisters have kids and I have been there for everything with these kids and I am grateful for that opportunity. Do I regret not having any myself? Not one bit and I would never judge another woman for her want to have them. To each their own.

  24. Tazina says:

    I love her honesty too. Jennifer Aniston was so annoying with the way she talked about the kids she planned to have.

    • D1 says:

      Jennifer Aniston didn’t annoy me because I understand that women may change their minds several times about having kids, that they may not achieve the type of relationship or life situation they consider a prerequisite for children, or may have fertility problems I’m not aware of, etc.

      How about we just let women say what they want about their maternal desires, or lack thereof, without raking them over the coals or assuming we know what they’re REALLY thinking?

      • laji says:

        Agree with Emma: No ones raking anyone over the coals for saying they do or don’t want kids. Who cares which celebrities want kids and which ones don’t. The problem with Aniston is that it’s pretty clear she’s not walking the talk. Women who want kids settle down with men who want kids. (Or go to a clinic to pick out a test tube (Jodie Foster). Or get randomly pregnant with just anyone (Madonna).) Women who want kids don’t party with frat boys into their 40s. Look at Aniston’s bf collection and which one stands out as the settling down kind? Not to peg people out, but I’d say e) none of the above. Vaughn (if you’re one of those who believe they were seriously dating) eventually settled down and had a child, but look how he did it. He disappeared for a while, married a non-celebrity, and moved away from Hollywood and New York.

        If she changed her mind, what the hell is wrong with saying so? Also, what’s wrong with not talking about it at all? What’s wrong with this answer: “Maybe, maybe not. Who knows? Next question.”

        So the reason people call out Aniston is not because we can’t allow her to change her mind or allow other physical disappointments, it’s because she has consistently told the media the same line about wanting kids and having them, while nothing in her behaviour suggests she’s actively trying to.

        Look, I have friends who have said they want kids and had a hard time finding a man or getting pregnant. I know what that looks like and sounds like. I also have friends who’ve said they don’t want kids or aren’t ready for them, and I know what that looks like, too. The socialising behaviours of both those types of people are not the same. And the way they speak about kids is not the same. Those who really want them and are trying don’t say things like “It’ll happen, people! Relax!” They say, “I’m/we’re trying. Hopefully soon.” Everything they say sounds sincere and hopeful, rather than explicit and determined. Because if they really have been trying for years, they’ve been disappointed and they know to mitigate expectations, their own and other people’s.

        Everything Aniston has said (or been quoted to have said) and all of her actions say, “I’m having the time of my life. I love my life. Everything is going better than great. Forty and fabulous!” None of what she says or how she acts says, “I want a baby now!” Nor has it ever.

        So I just want her to shut off that valve. Don’t answer the question with another, “Yes, of course I want kids, and I will!” That just keeps the talk alive and the tabloids headlining with speculation about it. Anything else is okay with me: “I’ve changed my mind.”, “It’s too late,” “None of your business,” “Maybe,” “Hopefully,” “Not sure. Next question.” Anything to make the question go away forever. But that’s the problem with Aniston. She’s not honest enough to do that. She’s milking it and the only people who don’t know that are people who say, “leave her alone, you don’t know what’s in her head.”

    • Emma says:

      the large majority of people on celeb*tchy don’t give a crap whether jen wants kids or not…they’re annoyed because it’s pretty obvious she just said it to get sympathy on her side over the whole triangle debacle.

  25. HoustonGrl says:

    I think having kids comes with just as many ups and downs, lonely moments, questions, regrets, disappointments and rewards as not having kids. They just manifest themselves differently based on how an individual carves his or her own path. If you don’t have children, you can invest in your work, pets, nieces, nephews, projects, anything you want to do really! I feel the same way about marriage. I love my boyfriend and we’ve been together 2 years, but I’m not sure if I want to get married. In France (where I grew up), it’s really out of fashion to get married. Maybe that will be the next wave here.

    Anyway, my point is that I feel like it’s completely acceptable not to have kids…and it’s only when I’m around married child-bearers that I get the “when are you going to settle down” questions, as though it’s this major fork in the road. It doesn’t have to be polar, but I’m sure that if you’ve had kids, you immediately begin to think of life in terms of this duality, particularly since having a child is probably the most life-changing experience you’ve had up until that point. And there are probably things you can only appreciate if you have children. I can also understand why kids people think non-kids people seem really selfish. At the end of the day, you just have to do what’s right for you. I’m glad it’s getting more popular to make unique personal choices.

  26. bernie says:

    Seriously, not every women wants kids! Maybe you’ll change your mind, maybe you won’t — it’s your own life’s journey. But I do hate it when people insist that having kids is better than not.

    I’m a mom and I love it, but that’s not saying it’s not for everyone. I even know a former co-worker who has grown children and still states, “I don’t think having kids made my life happier.” Live and let live.

    • bettyrose says:

      Your coworker exemplifies the fact that people who don’t want kids should feel comfortable not having them. I truly think it devalues parenthood to suggest anyone can do it. Some of my friends are really great parents. I think they should be respected for that – just because they can do it doesn’t mean I can.

  27. bonnie says:

    I’m so happy that more people are coming out and saying that being a parent isn’t for them. I feel the same way. I am the proud momma of 2 cats and I like it that way! Someone should never have kids just because it’s something they are expected to do. It’s not fair to the kids or to you. I hate when people call others who don’t want children “selfish.” There’s nothing “selfish” about not wanting to be a parent. Drives me nuts.

  28. My sister-in-law knows Zooey (has known her for many many years) and from what I understand, Zooey is anything but some weak womanchild. She’s a smart businesswoman and a loyal friend. I think she’s cute as hell and I love “New Girl.”

  29. normades says:

    I am really digging her shag hair cut in that last pic. Cute!

  30. erin says:

    i feel as though she and i would be great friends if we knew each other.

    ugh, she has really good hair!

  31. Marie says:

    I support her and anyone as far as not wanting or wanting kids. They are a huge responsibility if you want to raise them to be happy, healthy, and productive people. I am a Social Worker and there are many people that have no business having children. I have one and will never have another!

  32. lucy2 says:

    I too wish they wouldn’t ask every female celeb this. 1 – it’s no one’s business and 2 – until they start asking every male, quit asking every female.

    I also think people, famous or not, are entitled to change their minds about that sort of thing. Life changes, people change, and sometimes the things you want at one point are different than at another.

  33. mollie says:

    She’s far too adorable not to procreate.

  34. Rachael says:

    Isn’t the show just called “New Girl”? Not “THE New Girl”. Just sayin’. Anyway I have the exact same feelings on Zooey as you – I previously found her mildly annoying but I LOVE New Girl. I love everyone on it, including her, Schmidt, Nick, Winston, everyone.

  35. Liberty says:

    I am a fan since 500 Days of Summer and like that she has her own defined style instead of total stylist-ing. She is who she is; isn’t that the idea of life? So good for her. And like her, I don’t want kids and prefer working and my husband’s on the same page. That said, I love kids and am super aunt to our 11 nieces and nephews and the kids of my friends. We’re godparents to three (2 in the US and one in London) and all that entails, we take seriously. But we’re liking life our way. I hope she keeps living life in whatever way feels right to her. It’s refreshing.

  36. juju says:

    I didn’t know Mary Louise Parker was known as a raging b!tch!!! what did she do?

  37. Shelby says:

    @proth “I’m sorry – how old is the girl? How does she know for sure? What happens when 10 years later she changes her mind?”

    What happens when YOU change YOUR mind??? Where will you hide the bodies?

  38. Jenn says:

    Always nice to have another celeb admit they don’t want kids. Hopefully it’ll make the childfree lifestyle a bit easier.
    I hate that it’s asked of every female celeb….but it’s asked of every non-celeb in the day to day as well. Check out http://www.babyoffboard.com if you want some childfree hilarity.

  39. grage says:

    How times is she gonna give the bullying story? I am sorry but I find it hard to believe that she was bullied as a kid. There are people from both her high school and college and have said that it was not true.

  40. Loren says:

    god her and that boy(who was tommy i think) from 3rd rock from the sun are annoying. i remember seeing that guy on the show and thought he was annoying back then too.

  41. Anahata says:

    Wow so my comment about the end of the propagation of our species was pulled. Is this site some sort of fascist regime????

  42. Islie Gopa says:

    She is 32?! Already? wow…. How long can she keep up her “little girl” thing on for? I mean in 3 years time she will be mid-thirities, and then 40′s.