You guys are totally going to call me an idiot and I totally deserve it. I was reading this Joel Grey-coming-out story on People Magazine yesterday, and it was like revelation after revelation for me. I knew Joel Grey’s work, of course: he was the original MC on the stage production of Cabaret, which won him a Tony. Then he played the same role in the film version and won an Oscar. He’s a Broadway legend, a real song-and-dance man, and he’s popped up in all of your favorite TV shows, from Law & Order to Buffy to Private Practice to Alias to Grey’s Anatomy and on and on. He’s also a gay man. Which I knew already, but he’s formally coming out in this week’s People Magazine and bless him. But here’s what I didn’t know this whole time: he’s Jennifer Grey’s father!!! DID YOU KNOW THAT?! Anyway, here are some highlights from his People interview:
Mr. Grey on his sexuality: “I don’t like labels, but if you have to put a label on it, I’m a gay man.”
He’s never talked about it publicly before: “All the people close to me have known for years who I am. [Yet] it took time to embrace that other part of who I always was.”
Growing up: “[I remember] hearing the grownups talk in the next room, my mother included, talking derisively about ‘fairies’ and men being dragged off to jail and even worse for being who they were. I came to realize, along with being attracted to girls, I had similar feelings for boys.”
He was married to a woman, actress Jo Wilder for 24 years: That period was “the happiest of my life.” Together they have two children: actress Jennifer Grey and son James, a chef.
He loves his young fans who know him from his TV appearances: “Teenage girls stop me on the street. I’m a very happy guy. I’m still cookin’.”
He’s 82 years old – he’ll be 83 in April. Better late than never! The People article includes quotes from Liza Minnelli, because they’re still friends and whenever a gay man comes out, Liza gets another pair of angel wings. There are also some nice quotes from his daughter (!!!) Jennifer Grey (how did I not know that?!) about how happy she is that her dad came out. And in case you’re wondering “why now?” – Mr. Grey has a memoir coming out this year. You know that will be good too. Joel Grey was friends with EVERYBODY in the 1970s. The memoir is probably going to be called COCAINE.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
Good for him. Can’t wait for when people no longer have to come out, though. Or define our sexuality at all.
+1
+1
ditto.he looks great for 82….
I thought Joel was already out. I have to agree that the shocking part is that Jennifer is his daughter. I don’t follow her career but I don’t recall it ever being brought up.
Honestly, his daughter aside, I thought it was obvious he was gay. I never knew he wasn’t out.
Me too. I thought I read this like 10 years ago. As for Jennifer, I think he was in the audience at least once or so when she appeared on (and won) Dancing with the Stars.
Me three.
82? He looks amazing!
Yes, Kaiser, how did you not know that? 🙂 I have known that for about as long as I’ve been aware of Jennifer Grey, I think. I’m guessing I must have learned that in a Seventeen mag interview in the 80s, since that was my main info source back then.
Love him, I’m glad he’s happy and at peace.
That’s probably where I read it first, too! It was part of my introduction to Jennifer Grey. What I found out a few months ago that was surprising is that Jennifer is married to Clark Gregg. Joel Grey is Agent Coulson’s father-in-law!
I knew about Agent Coulson too! He was in the audience a lot when she was on DWTS. Clark Gregg is also a script writer. His most famous script to date is What Lies Beneath (yes, the Michelle Pffeifer & Harrison Ford movie!). I only found out after I watched the movie the other week!
Yup knew it since she burst onto the scene in the 80’s. They always made it a point to say that Joel Grey is the dad in her profiles. I bet a lot of you didn’t know she was engaged to Matthew Broderick too.
I did!
A Joel Grey memoir is going to be fabulous.
Yes it is. It’s on my TBR list.
The level of happiness that this gives me is off the charts.
I love Joel so very much.
*walks away singing* “Wilkommen, bienvenue, welcome…”
Yeah, kind of surprised you didn’t know, but there’s plenty people probably think I do too, so no harm, no foul. Here’s a bit more info for you. Joel’s dad – and Jennifer’s grandfather – was MIckey Katz.
Here’s a short excerpt from an interview with him (47 seconds): https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=v9sfddsarnw
And here he is doing what he did: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7z66tF_UiQc
Geez. What I meant was, there are plenty of people who think I know things I turn out not to know either. That’ll teach me to post before my first cup of coffee!
Of course I am old enough to know that Joel Grey was Jennifer’s father. It was a big part of the promotion for Dirty Dancing. She was a phenom for a moment.
But, I did not know the Mickey Katz connection. I have the best CD of his music!! Love him.
I didn’t know who he was before this morning, but he is absolutely adorable, and I hope he is happy and comfortable in his life.
You need to see CABARET.
Oh you’re going to LOVE Cabaret….one of my top ten movies of all times.
After seeing him in the film version, I feel he is everything in life. So, freaking, good.
I’m always shocked when people who are obviously gay finally come out in a way that shows they weren’t aware that we all knew they were gay. This happened to my BFF’s dad. He was really upset that we already knew or suspected that he was gay because he thought he’d hidden it well and also the wasted years of fear of not coming out sooner.
I find it more shocking that Joel Grey was married for 24yrs, by which I mean that I knew he had kids, but I assumed he’d had a quickie hetero marriage/divorce as all the old hollywood stars used to do, before settling for a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ version of gay life. I remember tiger beat magazine (really dating myself here) said he was Jennifer Grey’s dad.
I feel sad in a way that he felt compelled to come out publicly, but if it makes him happy, Mazel tov!!
On a different note, aren’t ALL of Liza’s friends, lovers gay? LOL
Her father was gay. Maybe it’s imprinting in the sense that little girls look to marry their dads?
Misc other things: He was great in the film Cabaret, so was LIza. I never knew Jennifer Grey was his daughter.
I lot of gay men of his era had long marriages. In the arts there were many. Leonard Bernstein comes to mind. Others I can think of but I won’t name names because they themselves (like Joel) have never made a public announcement.
I’m an idiot too Kaiser because I always knew Jennifer was his daughter but as for him being a gay man….I did not know that.
He looks amazing! I saw Cabere in the theater with my parents when it first appeared I think I was 8 & I thought Liza was so beautiful & I has an 8 year old school girl crush on Joel.
I admit I didn’t know he was gay either, because I knew he had a daughter. Not that that means anything.
He was genius in the movie cabaret!
This wins my vote for “least-surprising News story ever”
Good for You Mr Grey, but I think most of us already kinda knew
Yes. It’s like when Nathan Lane came out:-) The general response of the people around me was, “and…”. It will be cool when we know/realize but it really means as little as finding out that someone is not a natural blonde. Rather like most of the wonderful people responding here…and…
I knew he was Jennifer’s dad but never knew he was gay, so I guess I’m really clueless. But good for him and I bet his book will be a ton of fun to read!
I had rad some article clips earlier in the week and was very impressed. I loved how he referred to his long-term marriage as ‘the happiest’ period in his life. He just seems a very at peace guy with how his life has unfolded. As he says ‘if’ you want to put a label on it, perhaps the relationship he had with his wife was still a fulfilling one at that point in his life but that’s not what he is now. That sexuality and romance can be very fluid.
The story especially resonated with me because my father-in-law is gay. He was married to my mother-in-law (they were high school sweethearts) for about 20 years before he left her for a man. She had known the marriage wasn’t in good shape and even suspected cheating but not that. They worked through it (and he’s now married to the man he left her and they’ve been together 25 years now themselves) and always did the holidays together for family sake. But I always felt for her nonetheless because while he, unlike Joel Grey, was never happy in the marriage or truly IN love with her she was with him. That’s the collateral damage in situations like these. It’s not like living a lie just hurts the person lying but the other people who get drawn in–not maliciously but because of the realities of the time. Luckily my mother-in-law later remarried but she cried once when we were discussing her ex and she admitted she still loved him despite it all (this was pre-2nd marriage). Now we’re all one big happy gay family. 🙂 My kids have always called my husband’s stepfather by a pet grandfather name–even before they were married because I considered them as true a couple as any married couple, it just took awhile for the law to catch up–and he was always invited to christening, communions, birthday, etc..It took quite a few years for him to start coming but now he is very comfortable. I think he felt the double whammy of a) being the one my FIL left for and b) being gay at a time when this was still much more whispered about. But my hubby has always been totally cool with it. And my family was too since my grandfather’s much adored eldest brother was openly gay (in the 1950s) and so it wasn’t anything really unusual or different for us. But my FIL hid the true nature of their relationship (they were ‘roommates’ ) for years. They were several years into their relationship when, upon meeting my FIL my mother and I both asked my hubby-to-be if his Dad was gay. Finally my hubby just asked him flat out and that started years of increasing openness. The funny thing is my FIL is Jim and his husband is Bob. My husband’s eldest brother is Jim Jr and my husband’s name is, you guessed it, Bob. So we call them Sr and Jr too. 🙂 But it can get confusing!
What a lovely story Kori – thanks for sharing and all the best to your wonderful family!
Kori: that was so lovely. I love stories like this. Thank you so much for sharing it.
My BFF’s dad also lived with his SO as ‘flatmates’ for about a decade.
He came out when civil partnerships became law in England.
He was genuinely distraught that we always knew the truth because he thought he’d hidden it well. And then he was distraught to realise that we were all OK and happy with their relationship and there had been no need to hide.
I think that’s how my FIL felt too. He had created a lot of distance with his sons, both of whom were either in the military or destined for it, perhaps out of shame or guilt or feeling they wouldn’t understand or what have you. When it was all really obvious. Like I said, my mom spotted it at the first meeting. But then she was the one with a much-loved gay uncle so maybe she had a leg up. 🙂 But the relationship with my FIL (not my step-FIL) still has its ups and downs. He won’t call or anything or remember birthdays or what have you. But if you call him, he’ll have dinner. There’s still a bit of formality there but I think that’s just part of his introverted nature. His husband is much more gregarious and easy to get along with. I don’t know that my FIL is particularly paternal either–whether he would have chosen to have kids if it hadn’t been what society expected in the late 60s/early 70s, I sometimes wonder. He loves his sons but in a rather stilted way. But my hubby lets things roll of him like water off a duck’s back so he just accepts his father for what he is–and not just being gay but with his introverted, unaffectionate, undemonstrative nature. Same with his mom and her faults. My sister-in-law and I freak out sometimes over our in-laws but Bob is just like ‘my parents are who they are and I can accept that and love them anyway’ whereas I would need tons of therapy because I’d always be trying to change the behavior. 🙂 But both men have promised to come visit us while we’re assigned to Europe–which would be a first, just a visit without it being a graduation, etc to one of our locations. But then, it IS Europe. 🙂
He was awesome on ALIAS
Theatre geek here. I knew all of this . What I didn’t know is he has a memoir coming out. Definitely picking that up!
I love him since his Alias time! Didn’t know he was 82 already.. and I must be an idiot too, because I didn’t know he was Jennifer Grey’s father!! Anyway I bet his memoir will be a good read!
By the way he played the cool gay uncle on Brothers & Sisters too! 🙂