Rob ‘Gronk’ Gronkowski ‘definitely gets bored’ with sex with beautiful ladies

Gronk Cover

Remember after the 2012 Olympics and everyone was like “Ryan Lochte is amazingly vapid”? It’s not that Lochte was a bad guy, or mean, or cruel or nasty. He was just like a big, friendly, dumb puppy. People sort of fell in love with that. And Rob Gronkowski is the new Ryan Lochte. Gronkowski – best known as GRONK – is a tight end for the Patriots. He’s been famous for a while, but in the past few years especially, Gronk’s fame has become next-level. Much like Lochte, Gronk is known for being a nice guy, never mean or nasty, but not known for being particularly bright either. So, Gronk covers the new issue of GQ and this piece is AMAZING. Gronk, his dude-crew and the GQ journalist just hang out together for several days in Florida. And there are so many Gronkisms, someone needs to make some t-shirts.

Gronk on lifting weights: “The importance of lifting weights is it kind of makes me who I am.”

He’s hairless: “No, I do not wax my back.” Your chest? “No. Nothing… It’s natural. Except, like, sometimes I get like a little couple pieces of hair on my chest and stomach, but I just take the quick razor and shave it off when it gets super long. I don’t like any hair.”

Group activities: “I love being in a group. Then you don’t feel awkward at all. When I’m all by myself, I would still feel awkward. But in a group—we know each other. Yeah. Definitely.”

Being shirtless: “You know what’s awesome? I like wearing no shirt, but you have jeans on the bottom. It’s cool but it’s not. It feels good. It actually feels awesome.”

Whether he gets bored with having sex with beautiful women: “Depends. Sometimes if you’re getting too much of it, having everyone come up to you every night, you definitely get bored of it. But it’s pretty wild when it happens. I’m not gonna lie—98 percent of the time, no matter where we go, it happens. It’s literally been like that since the fourth grade. Wherever we roll, it didn’t really matter, chicks would come to me no matter what. Even before anything. But a lot of the time when it doesn’t happen, you have more fun, anyway, because you can hang out with your boys.”

Pet peeves: “My pet peeves are people touching me a lot. Random dudes grabbing me and slapping me across the back. They’re not doing it on purpose, but it’s like they forget I’m a person. But you can’t do anything about it. What are you going to do? People misunderstand who I truly am. Truly who I am. If I go somewhere, people just think I’m a party boy 24/7. Like, it’s a Monday night and I walk into a restaurant and people start handing me shots. I’m like, Yo, I’m in season right now. I just played a game, I can hardly walk.”

On drinking: “I don’t drink because I like the taste. Beer is nasty. I would never sit there and have a beer with dinner—it would ruin my whole meal. I drink to have fun, to feel good, to get tipsy. But my drink of choice is vodka and water. Vodka and water, with a lemon or a splash of cranberry. But it puts the water in you while you’re drinking. Vodka water, so you’re getting your fluids.”

[From GQ]

I sort of understand the vodka and water thing, which means I am a 3 on The Gronk Scale. Like, I enjoy hard liquor on the rocks, and after the ice melts a bit, everything tastes better. As for the rest of it… Gronk is Gronk. Gronk is about two seconds away from referring to himself as Gronk. Gronk is like a more successful Kellan Lutz. Gronk is already Peak Gronk. The journalist tried to talk about politics with Gronk but Gronk “says he doesn’t talk politics.” Then Gronk and his crew tried to figure out when the presidential election was being held. Gronk is The Way.

Gronk & Hailey 1[3]

Photos courtesy of Peggy Sirota/GQ.

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116 Responses to “Rob ‘Gronk’ Gronkowski ‘definitely gets bored’ with sex with beautiful ladies”

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  1. CidySmiley says:

    I have been patiently waiting for the day that Gronk is on CB, and that day is here. Let me introduce to y’all, the kind of the bud light chugging, stripping, dancing, objectifying dude bros, Rob Gronkowski.

    • Kitten says:

      Whenever I think of Gronk, I picture him wearing a Minion hat, shirtless (because he always is) and holding a kitten. That’s how I like my Gronk.

      • Lilacflowers says:

        Always with kittens. He should never be without kittens. Whoever planned that shoot was a genius

      • embertine says:

        OK I have just seen the one of him getting booped by the little ginger kitten and now I am saying to myself “What a nice boy” like I’m my own grandmother. What.

      • INeedANap says:

        @ embertine

        A good friend of mine works PR for JetBlue and I travel a lot for work, so twice now I’ve been hanging out at her airport office while the Pats were flying out. The second time we actually got to talk to Gronk, and he gave me the best hug of my life. Like, off the floor, back-cracking, giant fluffy teddy bear hug. He’s simple but adorable.

    • Dani says:

      Okay wait I get that he’s a bro but I love budlight. Why does everyone always rip on it!!

    • Virgilia Coriolanus says:

      Until I read this, when I saw the title/pic, I thought it was an in character interview for that Popstar movie that Judd Apataw is putting out.

    • tealily says:

      I have to say, it’s kind of a relief to read something so vacuous. Thanks for a break from the molestation posts!

  2. Dick Move says:

    I weep for humanity.

    • bluhare says:

      Your comment is killing me in the best possible way. Definitely not a Dick Move! 😀

    • Kitten says:

      It’s Gronk! What did you expect?

      He’s just a fun-loving, not-so-bright dude and doesn’t pretend to be anything else.

      Let him be!

    • HH says:

      He’s the hegemonic masculinity that’s dangerous because it seems so harmless. The kind of bro that is sexist and misogynistic all in the name of a good time (but doesn’t know it). He’s impossible to take seriously, but yet he entrenches the worst kind of patriarchy. (That was a very serious analysis for someone so dumb.)

      • Josefina says:

        I’m unfamiliar with this guy, what has he done that’s so terrible to women?

      • melior says:

        HH I totally agree. He’s a walking sexist cliché.”The chicks who throw themselves at him and such … But I must say I’m also tired of these women with no self-respect that perpetuate this ‘bros’ culture
        Is there a masculine equivalent for “chicks”?

      • Kitten says:

        Yes because any woman who has casual sex obviously has no self-respect. *eyeroll*

      • Tammy says:

        I’d hit that twice, no three times, every day lol…. do not care if I’m called a slut or I have no self-respect or that he plays for the New England Patriots…. nor do I care if he’s sexist…I’d be all over that.

        He’s far from misogynistic. He’s not the brightest guy out there but nothing he does is malicious to women.

      • Saraya says:

        Lighten up, Dworkin. Yikes.

      • Dangles says:

        Good on ya, HH. ITA.

    • Babsie says:

      Side note from a Pats fan. Gronk is one of those guys who can’t keep still. As a result he is continually in the head office asking what charities he can visit. He’s done a ton behind the scenes to raise money for cancer and medical research. He taped a message to our local high school when he heard a popular local athlete was killed in an accident. All because he wants to give his time. Dim, happy-go-lucky but incredibly big-hearted. So no shade here.

      • amilu says:

        I hadn’t heard of him before this article, but that’s really nice to know. After reading his quotes in GQ, I was starting to get nervous.

    • Chaucer says:

      He’s dumb. GQ is definitely taking the mickey, right? Are they always this snarky? I might have to start reading them.

      • antipodean says:

        I have no idea who this man mountain is, and will die happy in the same frame of mind. I had my first laugh of the day though, when a Kosher Hotdog ad came up around his nether regions in the pic where he has a woman draped seductively around his enormous shoulder area. How apt I thought, what sort of message are the Internet gods sending my way today? More power to this person if he is doing good works, but I suspect I would have a more interesting conversation with a box of hair.

  3. roxane says:

    Oh my god. What the hell. Is this man real, that can’t really exist.

  4. littlemissnaughty says:

    I don’t get that at all. I love wine and cocktails and if I could have more without getting so drunk or fat, I totally would! 😉 What does that make me on the Gronk scale?

  5. Zuzus girl says:

    Wow, so much empty space. Well at least he’s nice (???)

  6. Cran says:

    Puppies can only be tolerated for so long. Fortunately they mature. He seems to be a sweet guy but I would like to hang out with someone I could have a conversation with occasionally. Like an actual puppy. Also, can’t get with liquor on the rocks. Chilled Vodka is delicious. No rocks, no water.

  7. GiGi says:

    Wow. Just… wow.

  8. embertine says:

    I think that GRONK is probably the slightly sweeter Kellan Lutz, but good lord he comes across as someone who’s had one too many blows to the head.

    Of course Kellan Lutz’s fate was sealed the day his parents named him K.Lutz.

    • Locke Lamora says:

      I never heard of the guy. He’s really not bright, but kinda adorable? Like a huge, dumb labrador. And the it kinda shows on his face?

      Apart from a few really sweet liqours, I hate the taste of most alchoholic beverages. On the Gronk scale, I am what, a zero?

      • GNAT has taken the last good name says:

        please don ‘t insult puppies ; they don ‘t do misogynistic bros small talk,lol

  9. Kitten says:

    Yeah I’d hate beer too if I was into Coors Light and Bud because yes, that sh*t is NAST.

    But gimmee Lawson’s Finest Sip of Sunshine or Nighshift’s Whirlpool and that is the stuff of dreams. I would drink that beer all day if I could.

    I sometimes do vodka water but vodka soda is my go-to mixed drink.

    • FingerBinger says:

      Those beers are disgusting. You’re drinking club soda.

      • Kitten says:

        Agreed and I would never drink any beer that has “light” in the description. These days there are tons of delicious low-ABV session ales that taste amazing and are lower in cals, if you’re worried about that.

    • ab says:

      that’s what I was thinking! he must be drinking “america” if he thinks all beer is nasty. I like a crisp, cold ale in the summer time, but my year-round drink of choice is scotch on the rocks.

      • Kitten says:

        I would argue that America has the best and most diverse selection of beer in the world (yup I said it and I stand by it) but agree that Bud, Coors, Miller and the standard old stereotypical American beers are all garbage. But there’s a reason why the big beer companies are (sadly) buying up small craft breweries—because the Buds are becoming a dying breed in favor of interesting and creative craft breweries that are popping up everywhere.

        And scotch is my mom’s drink 🙂
        Always Dewar’s for some reason….

      • ab says:

        I meant “america” as in budweiser, since they are changing their name for the summer! lol.

        I’ve been drinking scotch since college, but while I used to get teased for my “old man” drinking style, now I order a scotch and people think it’s cool.

      • Kitten says:

        Oh I’m sorry, ab! Totally misunderstood.

        …and OMG I hadn’t heard that about Budweiser and I just Googled and…WOW. As if I needed another reason to NOT drink Bud lol.

        Scotch is definitely cool. Screw Appletinis.

    • Mel M says:

      Totally agree. I used to love wine and then Mr. M started getting me into IPAs, stouts, good ales and some bourbon barrels and now I choose beer over wine. In fact the wines I used to love like reisling and rose and nasty to me now. I can only tolerate a good red at this point. Give me an Oberon now.

      • Kitten says:

        Are we the same person? That’s exactly what happened to me with wine after I discovered good beer. The only wine I like now is Chianti and a few other reds. Oh, and a good New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc 😀

    • Chloeee says:

      Kitten I think we’re meant to be besties and drink craft beer and smoke bowls together!

    • MC2 says:

      My father used to have my aunt load up her car with Coors Light in California and sneak it across the border to Oregon when it was illegal in OR (who knows why- it was the 70s or some crap). I thought people drank that crap when there was nothing else not by choice! Like fast food- when I found out people ate McDonalds not because they were poor & starving my jaw dropped. Why would people choose McDonalds & Budlight……..I’ll never know

      • Kitten says:

        LOL If a bar only has Bud or Coors or whatever I just drink vodka soda. Thankfully, even most stadiums have a few solid beer selections these days.

        I can’t believe your dad would risk getting in trouble for Coors!

    • Veronica says:

      I could seriously drink microbrewed beer all night long. Some of the best stuff is local and small scale.

      • Kitten says:

        Absolutely. And the variety is insane…there’s a brew style to suit everyone’s palate. But I like a good, bright citrusy IPA.

        Yay for beer nerds!

  10. V4Real says:

    We all getting Gronk tonight.

    He sounds like such a frat boy but he’s harmless. I can’t stand the Pats but I kind of like Gronk

  11. DTX says:

    Not gonna lie…I LOVE HIM. He’s as deep as a puddle of water but he doesn’t pretend that he’s anything more. He genuinely sounds like a really nice guy who is enjoying his singledom and success. He reminds me of some of my athlete buddies in high school and college. Adorable meatheads, totally harmless.

    You just know he’s a momma’s boy. He totally has the face! LOL

  12. FingerBinger says:

    Gronk and Kylie Jenner would make a great couple. They’d exchange kisses and brain cells.

  13. Cran says:

    The women offering themselves to him condone it. They aren’t treating him as anything other than a sexual object. There is no there there when it comes to Gronk.

  14. Lilacflowers says:

    Google Gronk with kittens. Gronk should always be with kittens.

    Gronk is brainless but relatively harmless and he can catch a football. Bob Kraft doesn’t pay Gronk to have a brain. He does his job, shows up for charity events, does some funny DUNKIN ads, and supports the community and other local sports teams. I wouldn’t ask him to name a Supreme Court justice

    • Bridget says:

      So you’re saying I shouldn’t ask his opinion on the lock down on filling Justice Scalia’s vacated Supreme Court seat? But what are we going to talk about then?

  15. Jen43 says:

    I’m a Giants fan and I dig Gronk. He’s talented. He’s fun. He is nice to the fans. I would take 100 Gronks over any of those pseudo religious types or those flat out as**oles. I can hate on Tom Brady all day, but it would be a pleasure to buy that man a vodka with cranberry juice. Rock on, Gronk.

    • Sadezilla says:

      I 1000% prefer him over Tom Brady too. TB seems like an utter arsehole, and he’s married to someone who annoys the ever-loving poop out of me. Give me a simple, harmless, charitably-inclined meathead like Gronk any day!

    • Samtha says:

      High five from another Giants fan who also loves Gronk!

  16. shewolf says:

    No idea who he is but I don’t think he gets as much fanny as he says he does. I wouldn’t look at him twice and probably not even accidentally.

    • Lilacflowers says:

      Actually, I think he does. I’ve seen him at some charity events and at Celtics games and there is always a pack of women following him.

    • ab says:

      lol @ “probably not even accidentally”

      I’m not into the meathead type, but I get it. plus he seems like a nice guy. I don’t doubt he’s getting a lot of lady love.

    • Samtha says:

      He’s a famous, wealthy football player. Of course he does.

    • Skins says:

      Gronk is a superstar in the states and I have no doubt that the chicks are throwing themselves at him 24/7

    • Veronica says:

      *shrugs* He’s a big, muscular guy who’s relatively good looking and rich/famous, so it’s not really that much of a surprise. Plenty of non-famous men in that genre get laid frequently. It’s not like women don’t enjoy a certain amount of casual sex in their own right.

    • EOA says:

      I guarantee you, in Boston, he probably gets as much as he wants. That doesn’t mean he always takes advantage of every opportunity.

  17. Pandy says:

    50 years ago he would have been the guy cleaning your windshield at the full-service gas station.

  18. Sarah B says:

    I admit there’s nothing happening for me downstairs, but I still feel this weird draw towards him. Like, I want to feed him sausages and pancakes and say “Bless your heart” to/about him a lot.

  19. Another Anna says:

    Whenever I hear “Gronk” I immediately think “Kronk” which still works because Kronk is a muscley mostly decent buffoon.

    I’m no Patriots fan but given some of the players in the NFL, I can appreciate that he’s just a dude, living his life, being a simple, nice dude.

    • Esmom says:

      You make a good point about his relative harmlessness but I still find it a little depressing that it’s guys like him who are pulling in big paychecks and achieving fame…while people doing real, important, life-changing work toil away mostly unnoticed and under compensated. I know I sounds like a grumpy old lady but once in a while our country’s over the top adulation of professional athletes just makes me cranky.

      • Sadezilla says:

        I hear you, Esmom, but at least he’s not evil like some athletes and politicians! And at least athletes generally do their job, unlike the U.S. Congress these days!

        Another Anna, now I will forever associate Gronk with Kronk, and you’re not wrong!

  20. Monie says:

    Such small, tight shorts yet zero visible bulge. Disappointing…yet expected. Lol

  21. Jayna says:

    Oh, dear. That was a couple of precious minutes in my life I can’t get back. LOL

  22. paranormalgirl says:

    Like my dear friend Aimee Lou would say “bless his little heart.”

  23. anniefannie says:

    That journalists question/discussion about his hairless bod? I smell Pulitzer

    • Veronica says:

      To be fair, if you were the journalists, you probably realized five seconds into the interview that there wasn’t going to be any intellectual heavy lifting.

      • anniefannie says:

        I know he really gets a ” poor bastard ” from me! You know there was a lot of ribbing and snark back at the office

  24. jh says:

    Ugh. His face, tho.

    • Lucky says:

      Thank you! I thought it was just me. He just looks so much like a doofus, for lack of a better word. I hate the Patriots with a white hot passion, but he’s a great football player

  25. Josefina says:

    Well he is dumb, but he said he doesn’t talk about politics. So I love him for that. Because the world (especially the internet) is full of idiots talking about politics. Acknowledging your own stupidity is a smart thing to do.

    My brother has a close friend that looks (and seems to act) a lot like him. He’s one of the nicest people I know.

  26. Annika says:

    I don’t know ladies, I don’t find him physically attractive?
    Like his body is awesome but his face is a NO.
    He has derp face.

    • Naddie says:

      Lol yeah, I definitely see a derp face on this one. But that’s because most people show a big part of who they are in their faces. Like, Justin Bieber : dbag. Jennifer Lawrence: extroverted, easy-going. Kim Kardashian :stupid, humorless. And so on.

  27. CJ says:

    So was Kronk from Emperor’s New Groove based on him? Or is he just Kronk come to life??

    Either way I love it. I love the kittens. I love that he loves being shirtless.

  28. Sarah01 says:

    I don’t like the fact the girl is being used as a prop.

  29. jferber says:

    I’d have liked to see him model with Ashley Graham (the curvy SI model) rather than this skinny one. I’m assuming this one is more his type.

  30. Miss M says:

    Gronk is a riot! I wish the journalist had asked him about his charity work.

  31. QQ says:

    Ima be Honest, I don’t Follow Football… This Guy is what I call The One Time: You do him one time and then leave, It’ll be fun ONE drunk time past that you kinda realize he is a dick and has no moves, but that’s a fun body one time

  32. Erica_V says:

    As a Pats fan I’m well versed in the ways of Gronk. To call him a puppy is the most accurate way to describe him. A little slobbery, a little dumb but the biggest heart. Not to mention he’s hands down the best tight end in the NFL right now, so he might be a partyier off field but that never reflects on field… ok.. when he broke his arm and then re-injured it doing wrestling moves in Vegas it did but STILL!

    I might side eye the “chicks” verbiage but it’s 100% true, women flock to him everywhere. Girls camp out at Bar Louie (the Pats local dive) in hopes of seeing him.


  33. NeoCleo says:

    The man just looks dumb. Not attractive to me in any way.

  34. Chris says:

    Getting a strong “Jersey Shore” cast member vibe. Also, Gronk, please put your tongue back in your mouth. Thanks so much.

    • Ange says:

      Ha! I’m an Aussie and before I opened the article I literally thought to myself ‘he must be from Jersey Shore.’

  35. Jill says:

    I think he should go out with Britney Spears. They even kind of look alike and have similar personalities.

  36. J-Who says:

    OMG – what a #(&%!@#$ douchebag!

  37. Lilacflowers says:

    Wondering how tall the model is because he isn’t towering over her and Gronk is six feet, six inches tall.

    Laughing that a thread about our beloved, wild and crazy, dumb but exceptionally talented Gronk has reached almost 100 posts. It helps me relax about the news that Danny Amendola just had surgery.

    • Kitten says:

      Right? I was certain this thread would tap out at like 22 comments lol. Of course I’ve definitely done my part to up the comment count 😉

      And I’m with you on Amendola. Sigh.

      • Lilacflowers says:

        I’m not worried about the ankle surgery but the knee surgery is troubling. And he’s much prettier than Gronk. I’m irrationally blaming the people on College Hill who complained about the temporary car port. And Edelman had foot surgery too. My beloved Stephen Gostkowski best stay healthy. And Devon, Dontae, Patrick, and Ninkovich

  38. Starkiller says:

    An NFL player who’s never raped, assaulted, or murdered anyone? He gets my vote.

  39. JIll says:

    wtf did I just read? Is this a farce. Its just ….

  40. Lucy says:

    Am I the only one who couldn’t stop thinking of Kronk from The Emperor’s New Groove while reading this?

  41. Tommy Bundchen says:

    Who cares about the annoying alcoholic Gronk?

  42. Stella in NH says:

    What is not to love about Gronk. He is a lovable guy who is not afraid to try new things even though he make a complete fool of himself. The following is a video of him trying ballet.

  43. Sizzler says:

    Freshman year Gronk was in my differential calculus class. Surprisingly he’s a little book smart lol but he’s basically a harmless puppy.

  44. Kitkatk8 says:

    Only thing I know for sure – I like Gronk a million times more than douchehonkey Brady! At least this kid tells it like it is!

  45. G says:

    First I’ve heard of him, but everything about this was great. Is great. GRONK. Hah. What a world.