Selena Gomez is the most popular person on Instagram with 99 million followers. There must be a lot of pressure that goes along with that. Although some Instagram models and personalities genuinely seem to enjoy it, it’s got to blur the lines between social media and offscreen life, like Instagram starts affecting your choices and behavior so that you work to stage that perfect shot instead of enjoying the moment. It sounds like it definitely affected Gomez, along with the stress from her career of course. She canceled dates on her tour and checked into a treatment facility this August for her mental health. Gomez spok about that in a heartfelt speech at the American Music Awards, explaining that she was “absolutely broken inside” recently but that she kept it together on the outside. She said “I don’t want to see your bodies on Instagram, I want to see what’s [inside].” She was able to put all that aside recently with her rehab visit, particularly because she put down her phone for a full three months. She described it as relaxing and says she only uses her phone now when necessary.
TG: Tell us about your relationship with your phone. Does it sleep with you?
SG: I recently took 90 days off. During that time I did not have my cellphone. It was the most refreshing, calming, rejuvenating feeling. Now I rarely pick up my phone, and only limited people have access to me.TG: How do you deal with email?
SG: I don’t. I do better over the phone!TG: You unexpectedly find 15 minutes in your day, what do you do with it?
SG: Self-affirmations in cooking or napping!TG: When was the last time you felt burned out?
SG: Three months ago, before I took a hiatus to take care of myself.TG: Share a quote that gives you strength when times are tough.
SG: “You are not what happened to you, you are what you chose to become after what happened to you.”
[From ThriveOnline via US Magazine]
I have been thinking quite a bit about growing up in the 80s with the quaint technology we had (VCRs, cassette decks, phones on the wall.) The Internet was only starting to be text-based when I was in college. There was something relaxing about not being connected all the time, although I know I’m romanticizing it too as there were a lot of missed connections. Now we have so many advantages from technology but it can be hard to unplug. There are some measures you can take short of just not using your phone at all. One of my friends started turning off her phone around 8pm, so that she could wind down and go to bed without aimlessly checking facebook or news sites. That’s something I should do too. This job makes me think I need to be on all the time, but that’s not the case it can wait. If the most followed person on Instagram can go without updating her page for three months I can turn my phone off for a period of time before going to bed.
photos credit: WENN.com
Good for her. She looks so pretty and healthy here.
She really is so pretty, and sending such a positive message to all the young people she influences. I’m glad she’s back. She seems like a genuinely good person.
She really does. Her honesty about her struggles – that you can be that beautiful and rich and talented and still be unhappy – it means so much to others that struggle too. She’s walking, talking proof that you can’t fix problems with money. fame, or beauty. You just have to deal with what you’ve got, and that’s OK.
she’s very pretty when her face isn’t bloated from lupus
Yes. I did not own a smart phone until I had my son in late 2013. What a stupid time suck this thing has been. I am getting stupider and vapider by the day.
I didn’t get one until 2013 either. I try to always keep a book with me to try to balance things out but it is a bit of a struggle. Plus, I’m obsessed with Trivia Crack and Solitaire. You’re right tho, it is such a time suck 😬
I got a cell phone in 2005 but didn’t get a smart phone until around 2010-2011, it definitely can become a time-waster. That said, I can’t put mine down for 90 days because it’s my only phone (I ditched my landline this past summer). I just try to be careful with how much time I spend with the thing in my hand. I seem to be pretty good at letting it sit idle for hours at a time, at least so far.
I live in a very touristic city and all I see is people with headphones looking at their phone constantly. Sometimes they cross the road without even watching and then not only they don’t see you or don’t hear you, they have no idea of what they are doing. They have no perception of what happens around them.
The other day I almost killed myself trying to avoid this guy who ran in the middle of the road while staring at his phone and I honestly felt the urge to kick his ass and smash his damn phone.
And then he looked at me and told me to ‘calm the eff down’.
The nerve!
Yeah, I often have cause to drive thru the campus of a large college and I cannot believe how little attention the students pay to TRAFFIC! I try to avoid it when possible.
I was in the Atlanta airport and wanted to rip phones out of everyone’s hands. No one even looked up and with headphones, it’s a damn travesty.
Me too! I can easily go off the grid and I love it.
I was on vacation in a remote place- no cell service- I didn’t know until I got there how it would go down. They also had no stores. Just a resort with an huge organic garden, no meat. I was incredibly annoyed for the first two days. Then I recall it as the most deeply nurturing time of my life.
Bless her. Sounds and looks like taking a break was the best decision she could have ever made.
I have Facebook, Twitter and Instagram but I only post on them every now and then. I mostly have them just to stay connected with people and find out news but I don’t have to be posting on them every single day. I’ve gone two months without updating my Instagram or Facebook but I will like things. Now going without my actual phone for 3 months. That’s not practical imo. Now a days an employer will email you or send you a text to get in contact with you. I think Selena did a great job in handling what she went through but I feel like not having your cell phone while in rehab would be easier than not having it while you’re out working.
That’s what I was thinking she didn’t use it while she was on her break to get herself right. That’s easy because she is not working. But some people still use IPads and other tablets in the place of phones.
It appears she was in a 90 day alcohol / drug rehab facility. I doubt she gave up her phone voluntarily. The faculty usually confiscated your phone for obvious reasons.
Yeah, when you have kids, not having a phone isn’t practical. I always have to have mine on just in case the school calls and I need to pick them up. I turn it off when I get home though, since don’t usually get calls/texts in the eve.
But I take periodic breaks from FB to focus on other things and I never regret it. I can’t do it permanently as FB is the only way to keep up with far away family & friends I’ve made over the years. That being said, my periodic social media cleanses feel really good.
I don’t have the same pull toward Insta or Twitter, tho’ I do use them. They don’t suck my time like FB does and I can go days or weeks without checking those.
I dont facebook, tweet or instgram. Used to, but i actually found being connected hella boring. It took excitement away from my life and i had less adventures. Also, i just dont care what other ppl are fakeing.
Same here. I loathe Facebook and all that mess.
Ditto. Also, if an employer wants to get hold of me, they call. Just as fast as sending an email, or faster.
Right? I also do not have kids, so if I did, of course I’d have my phone or a way to reach me! But, all the fakery and people getting their ‘news’ from Facebook need to get an education. I had a roommate that all she did was go on FB and scroll, scroll, scroll.
I don’t have the Facebook app nor do I check/browse Facebook on my phone or ipad.
I only go on Facebook when I’m sitting at my desktop computer at work or at home.
I find that it helps me feel more calm and less like I’m addicted to Facebook, something to try if you don’t want to disconnect totally but want to set some boundaries for yourself.
I have Instagram, and that is something I check more often than I need to on my phone and ipad, but at least Instagram is imagery and not so much opinions or news articles.
Me too. I don’t have a FB account but a Twitter one I rarely use only in my desktop. Last time I used it was some months ago to complain about some situation in my country regarding a political prisioner. Thanks to life the UN is involved now and this person may stand a chance… Anyway…. I’m by age a millenial but I try to stay away from social media. It seems to bring the worst out of people.
I’m going on a social media break for the weekends. If i’m lonely it’s because I need to schedule actual time with actual friends with whom I actually want to engage.
Wish I could. But with children and grandchildren, I can’t. I’d go back to a land line but if I’m out and about they can’t get in touch with me if I’m needed.
…and the human race survived thousands of years without that form of communication.
Yes, exactly!! I’ve seen people bring in their phones into yoga or meditation class in case their kids need them urgently (the classes are only 30-60 minutes). It’s ridiculous.
Shutting off the phone at 8 pm is an interesting idea. I’d like to try it, but part of me says, “Whaaaaattt, that’s crazy???!!!” Might give it a go tonight. I need sleep desperately with two kids waking me up at night. Ugh.
The kid thing is what got me, too. Now I set my phone on sleep mode pretty early. It’s not off, I can look something up if I want and sometimes I check it before I go to bed, but otherwise, I don’t get pinged to look at anything. 99% of the time anything that comes in can wait until the AM anyway. Plus it’s automatic, so I can’t “forget” to do it. It just happens. The iPhone sleep mode is great because you can set it to allow repeated calls to come through. If anyone needs me urgently enough to call twice, it rings.
I do that too kinda and its a work phone. Only certain work calls get through to me; no friends or family.
I don’t have facebook, instagram, or twitter. I also check my phone maybe twice a day. I really only use it to listen to music at this point. Getting away from social media about four years ago helped with my mental health… that sounds like an exaggeration, I know, but getting on facebook gave me anxiety, yet I couldn’t stop checking it.
My friends complain that I live under a rock, but I feel great.
I think the really important thing is that we think about it. How DOES social media make me feel? Happy? Anxious? Like I’m not good enough? I read it when I’m bored. I’ve moved around a lot so it lets me keep up with people that i haven’t seen in 25 years. But I also consciously avoid arguments or debates. I respect your and anyone else’s decision that it isn’t for them. I’m sure your friends can catch you up on anything vital you missed (i.e. puppy pictures).
Social media can be depressing. Especially when friends/relatives paint this picture perfect life (that is all a total lie of course). You start comparing your life to theirs and boom you’re depressed. It’s that easy. I stay away as much as I can.
Yeah, BragBook can get me depressed. Plus since the election it’s like a giant party that went awry- people still too drunk high or hungover babbling about some collusive drama. I keep trying to get into the “angry” conversation, but it’s all nonsensical postulations of “WTF HAPPENED” . Either we all don’t make sense together or I go over and bash susan sarandon and “like” other people who bashed her. Then I state some craptastic blither about the orange thing and get into a concerning death match “Facebook off’ with an orange nazi thing supporter. It’s just a waste of time. I’m not “in the conversation” there, I’m in confusion hell. I’m going back college in the Spring to complete a teaching certification and Environmental Sustainability. I need to take real action and fill my brain with viable knowledge- BragBook /ConfusedFaceBook has been like living at a littered field where a concert shut down early and the attendees are passed out.
I constantly tell people I wish we could go back to the 90’s technology wise. I’ve started to loathe constantly being connected, I miss the days of not being reachable. My mom will call and leave a voicemail, then text multiple times, then email, and then starts texting my siblings to find out if I’m ok…all within an hour for crying out loud. People don’t need 24/7 access to each other! I’ve even made my husband stop texting me so much during the day, we’ll sit down for dinner and he’ll ask how my day went and I’ll remind him that he already knows because we’ve been texting all damn day. I’d rather miss him and talk in person versus texting every hour during the day.
Good for Selena taking a break, she obviously needed it and she looks much better here.
same here, I don’t like being so reachable. I don’t have a smartphone and facebook is my only social media, which I use sparingly. I am not (and have never really been) an immediate responder, and my mom does the same as yours. she is convinced I’m lying in a ditch somewhere if I don’t answer her text or whatever within 10 minutes. my friends get it though. they know not to expect a reply to an email before a week has passed!
YES. Easily. I use my cellphone maybe 2 or 3 times a month at most.
I have a job, so no. Young employees are often expected to be available 24/7 by their phone (at least in the engineering and design industry).
I don’t want to live this way, it gets really exhausting. But I also want to have a salary.
I hear you! My boss can IM me concerning work at, like, 2am, asking me to add something to the blueprints. I ignore everything sent after 11pm until the next day. I find it the only way to stay sane these days 🙂
Oh please! If you have assistants, manager and handlers you wouldn’t need your cell phone for 90 days too. I agree and am totally guilty of always being on my phone but my phone has been a life saver personally and professionally multiple times. Hooray for her for finding peace but come on now. If you honestly believe she disconnected from the modern world for 90 days, then I don’t know what to tell ya…
Exactly! I bet there is an assistant who is reading all her incoming emails etc and either summarizing them to Selena by phone call or determining which are important to bring up to her. In that way, Selena is probably no different now than a really old business person who doesn’t use technology at work at all but relies on their assistants to do it. I worked in a law office where really old lawyers still dictate everything into a tape recorder and have their assistants type their emails. And incoming emails are all printed out. No need for a cell phone or even a computer for them.
who are you to call her a liar? were you there? didn’t think so
I’m so glad I don’t have a smart phone. My phone is 6 years old. It does not have wifi. I have limited text use and limited talk minutes. Only a few people have my number. I am not a slave to it as so many are. It’s an addiction for so many. I see kids walking home from school glued to their phones…looking down the entire time…they could walk off a damn cliff if it was in front of them. God knows what’s going to happen to that generation.
I’m on call a lot and have to be able to at least receive voice mails and return calls, but when I’m not on call, as soon as the work day is over and I am home for the night and my kids are home, I can shut off the phone and disconnect. I also am not cellphone reachable when we are in the Bahamas, by choice. I can completely disconnect from social media without an issue.
Man, I use my phone for so much more than social media. I track my period, use coupon apps, read books on my kindle app, paying bills, watch Netflix, listen to music, track my running, and look up random questions I have throughout the day.
I guess I could replace all that stuff with a calendar, clipping coupons, trips to the library, mailing my bills in, carrying around a Walkman, and get a stopwatch. idk about my random questions because they’re really random. I mostly watch netflix while I clean my house so I could carry a laptop around. Just seems like a lot of work.
But 9/10 if I’m looking at my phone I’m reading something…even if it is celeb gossip.
I hear ya with the random questions. I love Google, I’ve been waiting my whole life for something like Google. I think I would be lost without it. Answers I’ve never been able to find in libraries or encyclopedias. Almost every question I have can be answered.
I use google for everything. I’ve learned so much from it. It has helped me learn to crochet, try different recipes and cooking techniques, and saved us so much money in car repairs. Not to mention, google maps helps me get places safely. I would be pulling over after every turn to look at a regular map. 😖
I would never want to depend on my phone for so many aspects of my life! That would make me feel like a slave to that device because I could go on with almost nothing the way I’m used to if just on stupid device broke.
If you want to spend the extra time then more power to you! I could go on if my device broke, it would just be an inconvience. The only thing I would really struggle with is traveling because I’m the type that needs someone to tell me which exact turns to make when going somewhere new. To me it’s like electricity or hot water, could I live without it? Yes, but they make my life so much easier.
I forgot to add that I also use google translate to communicate with my grandparents. I could buy an English/Spanish dictionary but it would take forever to form a sentence. That reminds me, I need to look for an app or program to help me learn Spanish.
Wow, glad to know i’m not the only one in this, thanks for sharing!
For me, it’s either that, or reading product labels and adds, or i will die of boredom. 😀
I am in my 50s, employed, have a college degree, and f cell phones! I do not own one! You should see the look on ppls faces when they ask for my cell #! How many hours are wasted every day bent over some little screen?
I turn off my cell phone during the weekends to get some peace. I also deactivated my FB after the election and loved not having it! There are certainly many benefits to social media and technology, but it has become a crutch and a nuisance in our daily lives.
I would die of bliss. I love my phone, but I love my time without it, too.
Those scumbags over on D-listed are actually making fun of her illness, calling her Lupus Lolita. disgraceful
@Frank, her face doesn’t get “bloated from lupus.” It gets bloated from prednisone that treats lupus flare ups.
I also have lupus and have had to be on prednisone ( steroid) for months at a time. I always refer to my face then as “the puffy, sweaty Elvis look.” Oddly enough, he was also on prednisone the last year of his life.
Lol. I’m sorry but this was not a self imposed 90 day fast from her phone, this was mandated at whatever rehab she went to. Spin, spin, spin. I wish celebrities would be more honest about their addictions to help break the stigma, but Selena obviously carries a lot of shame.