I used to not like Thandie Newton that much, but she’s grown on me over the years and nowadays, I like that she’s sort of unapologetically using her platform as a celebrity to speak about some issues that usually bum people out. Thandie does that with this interview with The Edit. First off, the editorial is really pretty, right? In these photos, she looks a bit like Ruth Negga, but that’s because Negga’s face is etched into my mind because of Loving (but seriously, they could be sisters). As for the interview… yeah, Thandie is a bummer. She even admits that at one point. But God bless her, she’s using her platform. You can read the full piece here, and here are some highlights:
Being the daughter of a British father & a Zimbabwean mother: “I was the kid who was complicated to be friends with, because I was brown. But I’m quite glad of that, now. I realized how useful being alone is for figuring out your relationship to life. For me especially. I’m challenged all the time: being a woman who doesn’t want to communicate sexually as a way of making people comfortable; being a woman in a tough industry; being a spokesperson for voiceless women; being African, but also being English. There are so many things I need to speak for. It’s who I am so I may as well have a little root around. And I’m a mother; I want to figure this stuff out for my children, too.”
Everyday Sexism: “Do you ever contribute to [the blog] Everyday Sexism? I want to, but I’d have to do it endlessly; I’d have to do it about so many people I work with.” In fact, Newton doesn’t need to use Everyday Sexism; she has repeatedly talked about her experiences to the press; about the audition where they filmed up her skirt, a drunk producer telling her years later that they would watch the footage at parties. “I talk about misogyny endlessly, because it’s part of everything. I have learned that in organizations where young people are unsupervised, there is more infrastructure to protect perpetrators of abuse than there is to protect the children. And I have been through so many of those institutions, whether schools or film sets. Yes, it is terrifying, but it’s more terrifying when we don’t speak about it. There’s such a huge gap between what’s presented to us as the thing, and what the thing really is.”
After telling a horrific story about children being raped: “Sorry. I realize that I tend to be a bit of a bum out sometimes, because I bring stuff like this up all the time. But only because it really f****** bothers me. I’ve been cut out of people’s lives often because I’ve said things that are unpalatable. It hurts me like f****** hell.”
The word for women who despise women: “Do you know what we need? A word, like misogyny, but specifically for women who despise other women. Femishame?”
Thandie Newton: Debbie Downer? True story: sometimes I feel like a Debbie Downer. I worry too much and then I worry that I’m worrying too much and that I’m being too pessimistic with my worst case scenarios. That being said, it’s difficult to NOT be a pessimist in these, the End of Days. See? I did it again! As for the word for women hating women… why can’t women be misogynists too? Do we need another word for it?
Photos courtesy of The Edit.
Call them Conways
I was coming here to say the same thing. She is one of the most misogynistic people in this administration and that is saying something.
Ditto.
I was coming here to say the same thing. She is one of the misogynistic people in this s administration and that is saying something.
Or Coulters.
I like Coulters as well
This! (Also see ‘Swifts’ :P)
Cooties ? 😜
Hahaha, that’s perfect.
Perfect!
You took the words right out of my mouth. Tragic that some women make a career doing this.
I’d call these female misogynists ‘Chelsea Handlers,’ her tirades and hate against other women is well known and public.
Thandie Newton has appeared on her show before, maybe more than once.
Hypocrite.
Meh, I could happily call them ‘Jolies’ as well. Swings and roundabouts.
YES! Chelsea Handler is a HUUUUGE hypocrite- she has way more to hurt women than help them. Also, a she lies a ton (or has dementia). I’ve heard her Stern interviews & she always contradicts herself and rewrites history…too bad all her lies and nastiness are forever on tape for all to see/hear.
@Onika: Hmm, sounds like a projection to me. You’d have to actually produce some valid receipts (no, not petty resentment, jealousy, or your personal dislike of her, Miss. Actual evidence) of Angelina Jolie having a track record of misogyny and willfully ignore all the work she’s done to help women and girls over the years.
Maybe a word that starts with the letter C since that seems to be the common denominator
My immediate thought as well Or just Kelly’s, pulling together Kellyanne and Megyn Kelly.
I dont need a knew name, i always call them c u next Tuesdays-short form
That’ll work, too.🤣🤣🤣
Call them stockholmed
Taylor Swift
But on a real note, call them Misogynistas
I like misogynistas!
I’ve never thought much one way or the other about Newton until I saw her in a contribution to the BBC’s black and British season, Black is the New Black. She was absolutely bad ass in that and had so much sensible stuff to say. So now I am a fan.
Oh, well done, Shambles! This is it; misogynistas is brilliant, tho’ it took me three tries to spell it! And yes, Sixer, indeed we share the same experience of Ms. Newton. She really spoke well and was well spoke to boot!
Taylor Conway?!
Swifty?
Strawhairs.
Because konway and koulter are so twisted theyed love to have their names attached to something like that, and the feature above seems to be what a lot of these names also have in common.
Brilliant!
Definitely borrowing misogynistas now. (If you don’t mind).
Love love love her. I don’t think she’s depressing. I can see a lot of fun life in her. But she’s also deep and troubled by the world. I call that well adjusted.
I will say the story she tells about her abuse (essentially child abuse) at the hands of that director (name escapes, film was the one she started in early on with Nicole Kidman- they played schoolgirls) is bone chilling. He groomed her and exploited her. It made me sick. I believe he’s dead now. Her eating disorders came after that. Very sad. I’m glad she seems to have gotten it together.
Nah, he’s still alive and married to a much younger Vietnamese woman who allegedly is 38 but looks 23.
Completely agree. She is honest and aware. Nuthin wrong with that. I’ve lost friends for the same reasons.
HONK for Thandie!
She’s not a Debbie Downer, she’s a Truth Teller. We’ll step being downers when we have no shi!t to be down about.
She’s so great. Keep it coming, Thandie. For her, it might also have an element of self-preservation to talk about all of it. An abuser relies on it’s victims shame. Thandie shows that you can turn the table. The ugly truth can set you free.
Really liked wha she said. Didn’t know much about her before – she is grounded and smart.
That story about the producers watching her footage is horrible, though not surprising.
I was going to say something about ingrained patriarchy, teaching women to avoid conflict, can lead to women appearing unsupportive.
But then, yeah…Kelly Anne Conway really hates other women and is complicit in pushing thru legislation that will harm women. “Conwayism”
+1 to your point about ingrained patriarchy. Also, we’re animals (not some super-special non-animal species) and our intelligence/consciousness doesn’t negate the mammalian genetic predisposition toward intrasex conflict.
But yeah, Conway is a straight up hater and “Conwayism” works for me.
in Germany there is a phrase for that: Stutenbissigkeit it means literally “biting mare” and describes women who hate on women for no apparent reason.
I think that word is more about competition between women, about how we deal with conflict. It’s quite a misogynist word in and of itself because there is no equivalent for men (like for so many derogatory nouns for women).
I guess that is Thandie’s point but that’s also why I’m absolutely against neologisms that describe presumably women-specific behavior like this. We have tons of those in so many languages, the vast majority is derogatory. It once again emphasizes that women display certain negative behavior that men don’t. Why would there be no equivalent for men? Because they (at least white men) don’t need one. They’re the ones with the power. Minorities walk all over each other and other minorities to improve their own situation. Same with victim blaming among women specifically. You distance yourself to elevate yourself.
Women hating women are assh*les. It’s pretty simple.
you are absolutely right, I always felt weird about that word and you put into words why!
Germans have the best words!
Thandie is the reason I watch Westworld.
Agreed. I thought people were overly impressed with the story’s machinations (no pun intended!), but I kept watching because she does such a great job.
I’m glad she’s speaking up, the story of how the director of Flirting groomed her when she was 16 is horrific (and it’s not made less horrific by the fact that 16 is technically ‘legal’ in Britain – you’re not actually an adult yet).
Carolyn. My mom’s name is Carolyn. We should call them Carolyns.
Rankism- demean others to elevate yourself.
Again – who do these people hang out with that they find women en masse who hate other women??? I am 50 and have never seen women hating women. I’ve seen A woman hate another women, a woman hate a man, women hate MEN, men who hate women, and a man hating another man. I have never come across A woman who hates women, let alone multiple women who do so.
The most harm done to me – psychologically and professionally – has been at the hands of women. Women who wanted – as Joannie says – all the lollies themselves in the workplace at other women’s expense: demeaning, mocking, lying and making sure opportunities only came their way. C**t is not strong enough a term. But yes, the Kellyanne Conways of the world with their thick hides epitomize the characteristics. They are greedy, not as good as they project (and know it) and will remove any obstacle to get what they want.
‘ As for the word for women hating women… why can’t women be misogynists too? Do we need another word for it?’ Celebitchers?
I refer to them as misogynists.
Well I had a not so friendly discussion with a woman in her early thirties, who had renounced her wright to have a say about anything in her life, from cloth to sexualité to the children education or even lunch time. she did not hate a woman. She despised Women. She was very pleased of her choice and was advocating for it. And being nasty about others choices. I was nasty right back and said to her face that “holes should shut up”. Not my best moment. But still… No regrets.
You shouldn’t regret it too much though. Yeah, on the one hand, there are certain things we should never say about other human beings but on the other hand, I sometimes go back and forth on wondering just how much ‘political correctness’ (the deplorables’ words for it) should be shown for people who have contempt for ‘political correctness’ and push the idea that their own sex (or other groups of people) are subhuman.
I feel her, I can be like this too.
A woman who hates women is a masochist. What you condone or “explain away” or tolerate when it’s someone else will eventually come around to you
So we’re looking for another dehumanizing label to put on people we want to hate? Great.
It’s very disturbing how, ever since Trump “won” the presidential election, (it’s been happening since long before that actually, but there’s definitely been a dramatic increase), Trump supporters and some of their conservative, libertarian, and even liberal sympathizers have tried to reframe words like ‘misogynist’, ‘racist’, and ‘homophobe’ into hateful, dehumanizing slurs when really those are labels to describe and criticize people who engage in dehumanizing behavior. It’s a manipulative, almost clever way to deflect valid criticism by turning the person whose misogyny, racism, homophobia, etc. are being criticized into ‘the real victims’. The things you do to other people= who you are as a person. Even with crimes people commit against other people we see this- a person who murders is a murderer, a person who commits a terrorist act is a terrorist, a person who shoplifts or robs is a shoplifter or robber, a person who rapes is a rapist , etc.
They can be used as slurs to discredit people you disagree with. Just labelling people something doesn’t make it so. You still need to provide valid reasons if you expect reasonable people to agree with you.
It’s called self-loathing. It’s still misogyny. I recently came across it when I addressed the owners of a card store, concerning a card that I found quite unnecessary, something along the lines of “Of course I change my mind all the time, I’m a girl!” I – calmly and politely, I swear! – asked the ladies working there, ranking in age from late twenties to mid-fifties, if we really were not beyond that cliché of women not being able to make up our minds in the 21st century? Oh boy. They jumped me. I have seldomly seen so much sudden hatred directed at me. The older lady went: “This is irony! It’s FUNNY! *I* understand the humour in it!” Another one told me to chill out, the youngest chimed in with “I am exactly like that, and I’m very much a woman!”
I was deeply shaken by this experience. I was deeply shaken by how effortlessly they turned on me with that intense level of vitriol, for questioning a dumb cliché regarding women. I can only imagine if I had told them some random man just grabbed my ass in passing. I assume something along the lines of “It happen’s, you’ll live. Men do that.”
As long as we don’t have each other’s back, we do the misogynist’s bidding. Yes, it f***ing hurts, and yes, we live in one scary-a** world, but downplaying it, and tearing down those who point out how scary the world we live in is for women, means that nothing will change.
Love what she had to say and everyone’s suggestions but I already have a word – ass holes.
Sometimes I call them “Subservients” (because that pretty much sums up their motives and ideas about women and feminism) or whatever else feels more specific to the kind of misogyny they’re engaging in, but really misogynist is fine.
Female chauvinist pigs
Ariel Levy is the author of an excellent somewhat light book by the same name.
I see nothing similar in the faces of Ruth Negga and Thandie Newton. Ruth has a quiet, innocent elegant look, that is pure and beautiful to me. Thandie is pretty. The word for women that despise other women, is the same word for people that despise other people; it’s called jealousy and hatred; two of many time-consuming and wasted emotions.