Eva Amurri Martino is an actress but really found her niche in the Mommy Market, chronicling her motherhood journey on her blog, HappilyEvaAfter.com. She’s discussed subjects ranging from her miscarriage, her son’s frightening injury and nannies behaving badly. In her latest blog post, she brought up the topic of breastfeeding, which is deeply personal for every mother and everyone has an opinion on (sometimes a rather loud and emphatic opinion). So, in that way, it’s brave for Eva to post her decision to stop breastfeeding her son, Major, when he was three months old. Because, honestly, you can really open yourself up for attack on this subject.
Eva Amurri Martino is opening up about an extremely personal experience.
“My breastfeeding journey got totally thrown off,” Amurri Martino writes. “While we were in the hospital with him, and in the next couple of weeks, my milk supply dipped big time. The stress was just too much for my body, and I had to start pumping to up my supply, as well as use lactation tea to increase it. … But then, my post-partum anxiety began, and my milk supply has been so troubled ever since.”
Amurri Martino says her sense of guilt only exasperated the situation.
“What made this even worse is how much I would blame myself for it all,” she says. “I would put so much pressure on myself to battle the anxiety so that my son’s food source wouldn’t suffer. When I would fall short (which you always do when you try to strong-arm anxiety!), I would feel even worse for ‘failing’ my son.”
Eventually, Amurri Martino’s husband, Kyle Martino, intervened.
“Kyle finally stepped in and asked me to stop torturing myself,” she recalls. “At this point, Major was 11 weeks old and my morale was in the toilet. Between my pumping and feeding schedule, and my hyper-vigilance surrounding Major and his safety, I was barely leaving the house.”
“Even though it made me emotional, I had to agree,” she says of her husband’s suggestion to start giving Major formula. “Freeing up my time would allow me to seek therapy and get more fresh air, as well as start to implement a little more self-care — all things I needed if I was going to begin to get myself back on track mentally.”
Of course, the experience wasn’t easy.
“When I gave him the first bottle of formula, I was fighting back tears,” she shares. “I felt like a failure and was worried that he wouldn’t accept the change. But Major took a few gulps, and then he pulled away from the bottle, and looked up at me. He cooed a bit and then gave me the biggest smile. My heart just burst with gratitude. I felt in that moment like he was telling me it was OK — not to worry, and that he knew how much I love him.”
I have a couple of friends who had traumatic breastfeeding experiences in that they were never able to nurse one or more of their children. They echoed the ‘failure’ sentiment that Eva mentions. I didn’t have a problem breastfeeding but I did not enjoy it in the slightest. I was so thrilled when my children graciously cut teeth very early and gave me an excuse to stop. The biting-deterrent tips the books recommended just didn’t work with them. They simply clamped down harder so I couldn’t yank my nipple from them. As a result, they only got about a month after their teeth came in.
As for Eva, I can’t quite put my finger on the issue I have with her. She brings up things that new moms need to hear and talk about. Lord knows I appreciated celebrities who admitted that motherhood wasn’t all butterflies and unicorns. But Eva seems so self-serving in her efforts. Somehow she manages to remove the reader from any part of the discussion and make a common issue solely about her. Ultimately, it’s good that she brings up the underbelly of motherhood because at least it leads to discourse and shared stories. But I find it funny that I can have had almost an identical experience to Eva on something and not be able to relate to what she’s saying at all.
Photo credit: Instagram, WENN and Fame/Flynet Photos
She is as annoying as her mother.
100%
1000%
Both need to take a hike.
Her personality seems quite…… dramatic. I always wondered if her character in ‘the banger sisters’ was a little autobiographical.
I could not bf due to some physical issues and bf my first son for 11 days and my second son for 2, I tried, really tried and was made to feel like such a failure by family, friends, lactation consultants, even my pediatrician, and it’s been almost 25 years and I still remember those comments. To me it was either watch my boys cry from being hungry or give them formula, I chose the latter and was made to feel like the worst mom on earth for it.
I thank her so much for talking about this. People go on so much about breast feeding and it’s benefits that they fail to realize that not everyone can do it quite as easily. Kudos to her for talking about the dark side of breastfeeding that some moms go through.
fed is best! hugs, mama
I feel for you. I really wanted to bf, too. And the move towards breastfeeding — as opposed to immediately going to formula, which was championed in the 60s and 70s — is great. Except for when doctors, nurses and lactation consultants disingenuously repeat that ALL women should be able to breastfeed, and that if it’s not working, you’re not trying hard enough. I actually had a lactation consultant say that, and then proudly tell me a story about how she browbeat a women who had no milk supply into continuing to torture herself. The truth is that while it’s great when it works — and sometimes it takes some practice — it doesn’t always work. I had really spotty ductwork in my boobs. I created a lot of milk and it had nowhere to go, so I had nearly always present, huge, painful blocked ducks. Huge frankenboobs. I couldn’t get milk out. After 30 minutes of pumping, I would only produce about 1/4 oz. The milk just wouldn’t come out, and when I think about the way I practically starved my poor daughter by following shitty advice, it still makes me tear up, and she’s 3 now. Breastfeeding is great, but making women feel like shit when it doesn’t work is horrible.
I feel so sorry for women who are harassed by society for this. My best friend couldn’t breast feed because the baby would literally bite her nipples until they bled. The lactation nurse said she just wasn’t “doing it correctly” and she needed to re-position the baby. When that didn’t work (with the nurse present to witness it), the nurse took the attitude that the blood in the milk wouldn’t hurt the baby. Um — but how about how much it was hurting THE MOTHER? She switched to formula and everything was fine. I wish people like you and her didn’t need to go through that pressure/judgment when sometimes it just doesn’t work. Women should be supported during this time, not made to feel horrible.
I will never forget my lactation consultant yelling at me, a first time mom at 21, “Calves drink cow’s milk, baby goats drink their mom’s milk, how selfish are you that you can incapable of feeding your baby”, this is what she told a woman 6 hours after her delivery (after a 24+ hr labor), sitting on the bed with bleeding nipples, right then and there I promised myself that as a mom I will do my level best to never judge and be inclusive and understanding of all choices women make for their babies, what is ultimately important is that the baby is healthy, happy, fed and thriving.
I’m so sorry Stacy Reardon, I can imagine the pain you must have been through emotionally and physically.
My best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer 3 months after her daughter was born. She stopped breastfeeding and started with cancer treatment.
We went to Target so she could pick out a formula that she was comfortable with and was the best for her daughter. A woman in the baby area came over and started to lecture us about how toxic baby formula is (which it’s not) and how much better breast milk is for your child and to “not be so selfish or self-centered a mother and breast feed” She started in on how mothers are so wrapped up in themselves, etc. before the shock of this lady just barging in wore off and my friend started crying and I had to explain to this meddlesome woman that my friend has cancer and that’s why she can’t breastfeed. The woman apologized profusely but that was definitely the last thing my friend needed that day. What is it about breastfeeding that women/mothers think they can judge someone else without knowing anything about the situation?
Whether a woman breast feeds is no one’s business – the end. I can’t abide anyone who sticks their nose into the situation. It’s difficult enough getting used to being a new mother, physically and mentally. If my doctor, nurse or lactation expert tried to guilt me into doing it, I’d show them the door and report them to the hospital board. As for that nosy woman at Target… grrrrr. She’s a horrible person and deserved to be told so.
My experince too Scarlett….my child was starving by day 11 and i was producing 5mls per pumping seasion…..i did breastfeed and formula til my baby was 12 months.
I stopped nursing my daughter after a couple of weeks because it was a major trigger for my depression (which a lot of other women find). I still feel guilty and like a failure. Rational me knows I’m not, but everytime I hear someone trying to ram breastfeeding down my throat I really do.
I’m pregnant again and will not even attempt to BF this time. I expect to feel the same way again.
Practice saying “Breast feeding doesn’t work for me. I am not interested in your advice or opinions………My, isn’t it nice weather we’re having?”
Good luck with the pregnancy and new baby.
I had the same issue with my first. I tried so hard to feed that little boy and it was never enough. I actively resented the tiny, sweet thing for his damned need to eat ALL.THE.TIME from my poor bleeding body. He was losing weight and I was contemplating running for the hills. Finally my pediatrician told me to stop killing myself, to stop thinking that breastfeeding was the “good mom” thing to do and take care of myself. Giving baby a full belly and healthy mom was waaaay more important.
Congratulations on the new baby! Please, don’t let sanctimommy martyrs make you feel like a failure or any less of a mother for doing what is best for your baby. And make no mistake-taking care of yourself is what is best for baby too; you cannot give from an empty cup.
You’re not even going to try because you “expect” to feel the same way? Wow I really feel bad for your kid. You sound too emotionally weak to effectively care for a newborn
^^^This is what makes new moms feel guilty, the judgment of other women. I think everyone agrees that breastfeeding is probably the best for your child, but there are a lot of us who, for one reason or another, either decide not to do it, or stop after a certain length of time. Maybe you just don’t like it. Maybe you don’t produce enough milk for your child’s appetite. Maybe you’re on medication that would harm the baby. Maybe your child latches on so hard that the nipple actually tears loose from the breast (happened to a friend). Children fed formula are no less loved, no less cared for. There are many ways to parent “effectively”.
That’s pretty harsh.
@Moneypenny
applauding you for knowing what is best for your body and your child, and planning ahead to keep you and your growing family safe. postpartum depression can morph into psychosis if left untreated, as if depression alone wasn’t bad enough already. wishing you all the best!
@Huh?? best not to judge things you haven’t experienced. depression and postpartum depression can kill mothers and babies. it can ruin families and lives. your comment doesn’t help better anything in this situation. why pick a fight with a woman you don’t know online? perhaps you can find a different forum and help others learn more about something you are really good at. let people decide how to feed their own children, and trust women when they say that they know how their body reacts and feels. oh, and those who plan ahead in order to avoid situations where they might put themselves and their dependents in jeopardy are called adults.
@huh???: You’re not even going to try to not judge another person that you don’t even know personally? Wow, I feel sorry for your kids, seeing as how you don’t even try to hide your hatred for other people so you muse be teaching them to hate. How do you even function as hateful sub-human?
Wow.
Slow your roll there huh.
A loving mother is the best mother, none of that nonsense here.
Sure, troll. Yeah, when my doctors advise me not to do it, I’m going to listen to them, not you. Don’t feel bad for my kid. I wasn’t breast fed and am a healthy, intelligent, successful woman. Pretty sure that the love, support and genes I’m providing her will set her up for a good life.
And thanks to everyone else for your words of support.
HUH?? effectively putting the BITCH in Celebitchy. Wow. What an awful thing to say!!
Seriously??? What a nasty person you sound like…
Seriously Huh, SERIOUSLY??? I can’t even!! You take care of your baby as you see fit and let others do the same. It’s people like you and the scars they left that made me make my original post, can we stop judging fellow moms already, santimommies suck!!
Moneypenny congratulations on the new baby and you do what makes you feel comfortable, what is important is that the baby is fed and content, not anything anyone else says.
FYI both my boys are among the healthiest kids and anyone who saw them as kids were shocked they were not bf. I raised happy, healthy, well fed boys, and it took me 25 years to realize that slowly.
People like you are partially to blame when new moms kill themselves, they feel guilt over not being able to handle it all and all you’re doing here is perpetuating that. Way to go troll, you’re the one who is emotionally weak.
go away, Cee U Next Tuesday
You are ridiculous. There is no law that states anyone has to breastfeed, and it indicates nothing about that person as a parent. You can breastfeed and be a shitty mother, or you can simply not want to breastfeed and be an excellent mother. You are a shamefully sanctimonious, uneducated and mean person.
Mom of 4 here: STFU
Wow, Huh?? – you suck as a human being.
You breastfeed if you can and you don’t if you can’t. There are also psychological reasons why a person has difficulty with breastfeeding.
Huh??, you do you…wait, maybe that’s not such a good idea since you are a sanctimonious twit who is too emotionally weak to effectively be a part of the human race.
@huh?? Are you for real? My mom didn’t breastfeed me, but did bf my sister. This doesn’t make me feel unloved or like my mom didn’t care. I was fed and taken care of by my loving parents without my mom breastfeeding me.
Troll be gone.
Have you read any of the comments that came before?! Go troll somewhere else.
@Moneypenny, don’t apologize for placing importance on your health and wellbeing. You’ve got to take care of yourself in order to be a effective, engaged parent. I have been in your situation, and I support your decision 110%. Your baby is has a terrific momma ❤
@moneypenny It’s your choice no one elses end of story. No one is living your life but you.
Please don’t let miserable internet trolls ruin your day. You’re making the best decision for you and your baby and it’s a wise choice. That person just wanted to start drama and hopefully doesn’t even have kids to influence with that horrible attitude.
@Moneypenny: Practice saying “Sorry, what are your medical qualifications to advise me on how to feed my child?” I feel that sometimes full-on bitchy is best, it reminds people to mind their own business.
@HUH: GREAT advice. Ignore Postpartum Depression. THAT worked SO WELL for Andrea Yates that she drowned all her kids in a bathtub. You effing knob, sod off.
Moneypenny, if you’re loving on your child, they will be just fine without you breastfeeding them. I was not breastfed and had a loving relationship with my mom and am smart and healthy as a horse — on formula that was created decades ago and not as advanced as what kids have today. It’s the affection that you give them that makes all the difference in the bonding. Moms of the adopted kids will tell you that the absence of nursing didn’t affect their child negatively.
Do what you need to take care of yourself so you can be the best mom you know to be.
Don’t, and don’t worry about it!
Just as an FYI, I will say that it started out that way for me, worst with my first, but it got less bad with each baby and as the weeks passed. But my depression in adulthood has been significantly less than it was when I was younger. And I am team #feedthebaby with whatever is best for the two parties concerned. Go to formula, worry not.
Enjoy your cabbage leaf bra! 😉
everything about this woman is a drama all the time. has she ever wrote an upbeat article? it’s traumas, problems with the people she employs and talking about her perceived failures.
I think that’s what grates for me, too. Everything is an ordeal. According to her, she’s always doing all the right things and it never works out, she’s always agonizing over things, and her husband has to step in and save her.
I think you nailed it for me, too. She is just too much of a drama queen. Special snowflake syndrome whose feelings were always, always validated and heard, no matter now trivial the matter. I don’t imagine she ever got a “suck it up!” growing up. It seems like she walks around with a quivering bottom lip at all times.
And a photographer to document it all!
“Quivering bottom lip” bahahahahhaha!
She seems to be very insecure, yet at the same time self-centered, and basically everything is somehow about her. I got very annoyed by the story about the babysitter(?) for her daughter, who supposedly went after her husband. Now she fired the second one (from what we know) because she dropped her son. My guess is, her mother ALWAYS listened, and discussed everything in detail, and now that Susan isn’t around anymore all the time, she’s looking for others who will confirm to her that life is difficult. Very delicate little princess who doesn’t trust anyone, including herself.
Same here. I had exactly the same experience with breastfeeding and yet NOTHING she says clicks. I dunno… read her blog a little and I guess it’s the fact that she seems so removed from anything real – or other than herself. The best (worst) article was one about how she finally found a baby chair that wouldn’t disrupt her decoration and decoration that wouldn’t disrupt the baby being there. Say what?? I’n also a victim of first world problems but she takes it to the next level.
I breastfed for 5 months and then quit. I probably read about 30 articles written by women that said, “you aren’t a failure for quitting” and never happened across one that said, “you are a failure and a terrible mom for quitting.” No one ever said boo to me about quitting, either. Honestly, most of the women I encountered gave the same happy statements like, “do whatever works for your family,” lest they appear judgmental. I imagine the breastfeeding sanctimommies exist somewhere, but I just never experienced it.
Similar experience here. I went back to work pretty soon after my first baby and so she was supplemented with formula when I was at work or I couldn’t pump enough for her needs. 4 months in, SHE decided she’d rather have the formula. I was crushed at first and felt like a failure, but my family and friends were really supportive. In the end, it was best for her because her growth and development excelled on the formula, as opposed to nursing.
We are open to advances in everything else (despite their not being perfect), why must we judge so harshly when it comes to feeding?
@ Millenial I’m glad you had supportive people around you!
I had a horrible time with breastfeeding–and I tried with varying success with all 4 of my kids and then eventually quit. Not one person I’ve ever talked to-including several friends who loved it, breastfed forever, and lactation consultants EVER tried to make me feel bad about my failures with it.
This. So much this. I have no doubt sanctimommies exist, especially on the internet, but in the real world I was supported in all my parenting decisions. BF and FF – everyone seemed to be somewhere along the spectrum from all of one to all of the other and no one ever said anything to me in real life. I know it’s an issue for some women, but anecdotally I don’t know anyone. Could be cultural.
I don’t like this woman. Even when I know I should feel sympathy I don’t. She seems to make everything a humblebrag. Glad my kids are too old for her blog to even be a hate read lure. All I know is what I read here and it’s plenty
I do appreciate anyone bringing up the issue of breastfeeding. I had to pump every three hours around the clock, feed baby with a syringe (recommended by the lactation consultant) which took forever, and hardly getting rest, much less sleep. I was jealous of those who found it easy. I never judged mums who didn’t nurse, except myself! There are so many reasons to use formula. I know a mum who was very depressed and didn’t want to nurse while on medication, but needed it to be functional for all of her kids. You just do the best you can.
Eva Amurri is thirsty and tone deaf. Those traits run in her family.
I’m sad to say I agree. I was such a SS fan until 2016.
I completely understand where she’s coming from. I was unable to breastfeed my son because of latching issues, so I pumped for 5 months before switching to formula. My daughter latched but it wound up being too painful, and I was only able to go 2 months pumping (just couldn’t get enough time in with also looking after a 2 1/2-year-old, plus I wasn’t producing like the first time around). But I pushed the guilt aside, knowing that as long as they were fed (whether by breastmilk or formula), happy and healthy that’s all that mattered. Shamers be damned!
I don’t know why I find her annoying, either. She just seems like “poor me-me-me,” making drama where there is none.
Meh, I don’t know. I had almost the exact experience shes talking about with my 6 month old daughter and I can fully and totally relate to what she says here. I don’t really get how this is being viewed as annoying? I appreciate her talking about it because I felt totally alone when I was going through it. It would have been nice to read this to help relieve some of the guilt I felt. She comes across pretty normal to me in this article.
I think because she’s always complaining about something and appears to be a total drama queen.
Ugh I hate people who have such severe opinions about breastfeeding. Honestly, why do you care what others are doing? I just can’t imagine not having anything else in my life to focus on except what others are doing.
Her blogs feel like a way of getting public validation. It’s just the weirdest tone with her.
Yup.
I genuinely wonder about someone who seems to have such a tough time getting along with people. The problem is probably not everyone else…more likely the problem is Eva!
Obsessive is the word that comes to mind when I think of Eva. She seems so wrapped up in motherhood that it her identity now. It’s all about being perfect , and coming across as a know it all. Like she’s the Goop of motherhood. Look, we mom’s try to do our best everyday. Some days are better then others.If the kids are healthy and happy, then you’re a success .
I’d advise her to get a hobby, friends or loosen up a little. It sounds like she needs some balance. You don’t want to be one of those women who don’t know who they are when the kids leave, This is coming from a mother of three, fyi.
She brings up relevant issues but she still comes across like an entitled spoiled wealthy brat. That’s probably what you find irksome and it colors everything she says.
I never breastfed and never had a moment of guilt. I had legitimate reasons. I try to avoid feeling Mommy guilt. I did the best I could in raising my daughter, and my ex husband and I are proud of what we accomplished. Over the course of raising a child there will be plenty to feel guilty about so it’s just best not to go there as long as you can avoid it.
Yes-the mommy guilt is weird to me. Most people are doing the best they can.
I couldn’t breastfeed my daughter, not sure why. I tried everything from pumping to supplements that were supposed to encourage milk supply. I had nurses squeezing my boobs to try and help. Nothing worked. I felt so disappointed and like a complete failure. But as my daughter grew, I realized that formula and bottle feeding can be just as rewarding. My hubby got lots of chances to feed her and share in the bonding. She’s no worse off for being on formula, she’s rarely ever sick and so smart and feisty.
This is such a hot topic with moms, in my opinion to each their own. I don’t give a rats as* if you breastfeed or formula feed, It’s not my business how you raise your children and it doesn’t affect me or my parenting in any way whatsoever. I will never understand women who get behind a computer screen and verbally attack others for choosing not to breastfeed, it’s so bizarre.
As for Eva, she definitely has a way of making everything seem dramatic and self centered, but would people read or talk about her blog if she wrote about boring daily life? Probably not.
Someone stop her before she blogs again.
All Eva, all the time. Drama, drama, drama.
I have a new friend that I met during a social outing, Face to face, she is upbeat and funny. Connected with her on Facebook and it is about being run of the mill sick all the time……..or about her grandmothers’ friends and relatives dying. I mean practically every day there is a RIP to “uncle” so and so and what impact said person has in her childhood. I know I sound unsympathetic but it is every single damn day and it feels like it’s a plea for constant “sooo sorry for your loss” from her 1000+ Facebook “friends.”
For a woman in her mid 30s, I’m starting to think of her as the grim reaper.
And that’s how I feel about Ava ……like “do you ever have fun, upbeat or wryly amusing experiences to share “???
This is effing news? STFU.
I don’t fault mothers for finding whatever way they want to feed their babies as long as those babies are fed… period. But if she really wanted to continue to breastfeed her child, she can’t have a night nanny waking up for her for months.
Maybe you have a hard time relating because she called it “my breastfeeding journey.”
I couldn’t read past that.
She’s insufferable. That said, I read her blog frequently. I’m a masochist, what can I say?
It just doesn’t work for some women, for whatever reason. I tortured myself and my family forcing myself to BF each child for 8-10 months. No matter what I tried, round-the-clock pumping, supplements, lactation support, the supply simply wasn’t there. I so wanted to do right by the babies that I suffered through weeks of torn, bleeding nipples, sharp pain, infection, you name it, leading to months of frustration, exhaustion and depression. I so wish I had relented and switched over to formula, and put all that energy into bonding with and enjoying my babies. Do what works for you, ladies. Every woman’s circumstances are different. Enough with the judgment, of self and others.
I BF’d for a year but I never produced enough to be exclusive so my kid was supplementing from the start. Did it help her development? Who the heck knows? It’s hard to quantify and honestly, it’s not worth the time. I wish the mommy-shaming stuff would stop already.
Your body your choice – even when it comes to breastfeeding. HUH was unbelievably nasty. Geez.
Gosh I’m just weaning off my son at night, he is 9 months!
I received amazing support from my family to breastfeed, and it went well, except I really wanted to stop when my baby was 5 months.
But baby said no! He wouldn’t drink in a bottle so I have been stuck with breastfeeding.
Thank God my breast still looks ok. This seems such a taboo also. How breasfeeding can affect the breast.
Wow, this thread has been an eye-opener for me. I had both children in the ’60s when breast feeding was not in favor. Nobody I knew ever breastfed, we all used formula. They gave you injections in the hospital to prevent your milk from coming in. If you were lucky it worked.
Both kids were healthy and never had any illnesses – which supposedly they will get if you don’t pass the maternal antigens to them in the breast milk.
Forty years later a close relative of mine gave birth. It was known that she would not be able to breast feed due to medication she takes. So it was formula from the get go for the little guy. And once again, the baby was healthy, gained weight regularly and had no illnesses at all. None.
So, while these are only three cases, I think there are thousands if not millions of other infants who were and are being given formula since birth who are growing up perfectly healthy.
This is just NOT something a woman needs to beat herself up over. And if anyone finds themselves subjected to a Nazi lactation expert – get rid of her! Seriously – just say OUT!
I didn’t breastfeed because I didn’t want to. My two kids were bottlefed (dad could help too, which was glorious) and both were fat healthy adorable babies. They are now 9 and 13 and have always been the picture of health. Just do what’s right for you. And I would call out a rude comment on the subject (I never got one). That person may think twice before trying to make someone else feel bad.
Just a personal gripe here – why does everything have to be a “journey” for some people? So tiresome. Everything is a journey to the centre of their navels…That and when people of a certain age preface everything with “I feel” – as in “I feel I want a cheeseburger” or “I feel this election was concerning.” No one – repeat no one – cares how you feel, my little snowflakes. Just express an opinion and be done with it! Ok. Going to have coffee now….
I don’t care if she (or anybody else for that matter) breast feeds, formula feeds, hires a night nanny, has a home birth, and on and on. The only thing I will judge is her decision to exploit her children and parenting decisions for publicity. It’s just plain gross.
I don’t care what anyone says, my quality of life improved dramatically when I stopped breastfeeding. I did not have to carry a pump to work and break every 2-3 hours to pump, which helped me focus on my job in the time that I was there. I couldn’t work longer hours like I used to since I needed and wanted to be home with my baby. Anywhere I went for more than 4 hours I started stressing about pumping. In the first couple of months, it was nice because I felt close to the baby, but as she grew and I went back to work, it seemed there were so many ways to bond with her without causing myself so much stress. I finally stopped when she was a year old, but if I have another child, I think I’ll stop long before that. I did not enjoy it. I think biologically breast milk is probably better in terms of nutrition, but a lot of the other things they attribute to breastfeeding (lower SIDS rates, higher intelligence, ear infections blah blah blah) are correlated but not causal, and due to other factors in the environment. I also had a very poor experience with a lactation consultant a few hours after giving birth, as others have said here. I think breastfeeding was aggressively promoted because there was a period of many years where women were advised to use formula, but things have gone too far in the other direction.
I agree, pressure is not cool.I was pressured into breastfeeding, and that sucks.
If I have another child, I will breastfeed, but on my own terms. I’ll use a bottle very early.
Because I was advised against giving bottle before the baby was 4 weeks old, I was stuck with it for 9 months!