DM: Lindsay Shookus’s ex thought they would reconcile up until six months ago

Ben Affleck and Lindsay Shookus grab a piece of pizza
Does anyone else think that Lindsay Shookus is beating Ben Affleck at his own game? Like maybe she’s the one who caught his attention because she didn’t wait around for him? We just heard that she maybe-dated both Chris Noth (although his people deny it) and Jon Hamm last year, ostensibly during a break with Affleck. We also know that she was similarly married with an infant at home when she (reportedly) first started an affair with him. So is it surprising to hear that her now-estranged husband was holding out hope that they would reconcile up until six months ago, just like Affleck’s estranged wife? That sort-of coincides with when we heard earlier this year that Affleck and Garner were finally going to file for divorce. They did do that a couple of months later.

The Daily Mail has a new article sourcing a “close family member” of Shookus’s ex, Kevin Miller, a TV producer whom she met while working at SNL. The details in the piece do not jibe with what we’ve heard to date, that Jennifer Garner alerted Miller about their spouses cheating back in 2015. While the DM does have family photos of Shookus it’s very possible they found them by digging around Facebook. So it’s possible their source is bogus, just keep that in mind.

Ben Affleck’s new girlfriend Lindsay Shookus and her estranged husband have never divorced because he always believed they would reconcile, can reveal.
TV producer Kevin Miller only learned of his wife’s affair six months ago when he was told by a close friend of the actor about her betrayal.

The news, delivered in a shock phone call, ‘blindsided’ him and signaled the end of any hope he had of mending his marriage to Shookus.

What’s worse, Miller now suspects his wife’s secret ‘on/off’ affair with Batman star Affleck was the reason behind his separation, a close family member of Miller’s has disclosed.

Miller, 40, married Shookus, 36, in a lavish ceremony at the Country Club of Buffalo, New York, back in 2010. They separated in 2014 but Miller still held a torch for the mother of his child hoping they would eventually patch things up for the sake of their four-year-old daughter.

The family member said: ‘Kevin thinks Lindsay’s relationship with Ben has been going on for at least three years, everything points to it.

‘But Kevin didn’t find out about it until about six months ago. ‘He got a call from someone as close to Ben as it is possible to be and they told him it was going on.

‘He knew immediately there was no mending the marriage, it was the final nail in the coffin but there has not been a divorce, it just never happened.

‘The call blindsided him. He had no idea.’

The relative says that the whole family now suspects that Affleck may have been the reason for Miller’s split with Shookus.

‘No-one in the family knew about Ben when Kevin and Lindsay split but looking back now, we can connect the dots and see it was probably the reason,’ the family member said.

[From The Daily Mail]

I’ve been reporting this story from the start and am confused about the conflicting details of the timeline, so here’s the timeline according to People and US.

People: “Multiple sources told PEOPLE that the two started their affair back in 2013”

US: “Ben and Lindsay started their affair about three years ago, just a few months after she became a mom” [Ed note: Shookus’s daughter was born in early 2013, so that’s four years ago and it’s possible US is just doing the math wrong]

If you disregard US’s math, both US and People say the affair started in 2013. According to this DM source, Shookus and Miller separated in 2014. Miller was unaware of the affair until six months ago according to their source, which is not consistent with US’s reporting that Garner told Miller about it in 2015. It’s possible the DM is pulling this story out of their butts or that their source is some biddy aunt of Miller’s who has the wrong information. Their source goes on to say that it’s “just one of those sad things that happen” and that Shookus is “free to do whatever she wants to do,” which adds some legitimacy to it, like the source didn’t want to talk smack. They also say that Miller is not dating and that he’s a good dad.

So will Affleck continue seeing Shookus now that this story has received so much press? If he does I bet he’ll try to keep it under wraps. He hates negative publicity. Oh and in regard to that, director Kevin Smith just revealed that Affleck was really full of himself after kissing Jason Lee for their movie Chasing Amy in 1997. (Here’s a clip of Affleck talking about that scene back in 1997, the kiss is at :35.) According to Smith, Affleck said “a man kissing another man is the greatest acting challenge an actor can ever face” and after he filmed the scene added “now, I’m a serious actor.” That got a lot of headlines, but Affleck was only 24 years when he said then and we’re hearing this from Smith secondhand 20 years later. Evan Rachel Wood took offense to the original tweet from Paper Magazine, I’m assuming she thought it was a new quote, and tweetedTry getting raped in a scene. Also, grow up Ben,” but she later deleted the tweet “because of the sickening things people have written in response. I dont want to give that kind of hatred a place.” Paper Magazine has also apologized for their tweet, which was misleading and made the quotes sound new.

Ben Affleck and Lindsay Shookus grab a piece of pizza


Ben Affleck's new girlfriend Lindsay Shookus catches a flight at LAX

photos credit: Backgrid

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153 Responses to “DM: Lindsay Shookus’s ex thought they would reconcile up until six months ago”

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  1. Lucy says:

    She and Ben are both huge assholes, so in a way they are perfect for each other.

    • Nicole says:

      I was coming to say the same. Both sound like really horrendous people that threw families away for nothing. I’m sure their children will clue in someday that they have assholes for parents.
      No one is winning here. Temporarily these idiots are because they don’t care. And that’s incredibly sad

    • cindy says:

      And that stained shirt is grossing me out more each time I see it.

    • Sam Louise says:

      So true! The more I learn about the two of them, the more I see how they deserve each other. Callous, shallow, deceptive, and self-serving. Their former spouses a fortunate to be rid of them. Unfortunately, young children are involved.

    • ELX says:

      I suspect, sadly, that drinking and using are a large part of the attraction. That, and this woman is even more abject than Jennifer Garner, which is quite a feat. Latching on to a famous guy seems to be her agenda and while she may have been sexually available to Affleck, Hamm, Noth, whoever, Affleck was willing to promote her to girlfriend. He can’t not f*ck up his life; at best this will probably end with more rehab.

      • natalie says:

        Ben looks better these days than he has in years. If he’s drinking again his body is miraculously handling it better than it ever has. As for Shookus, you’re jumping to a lot of conclusions about a person no one really knows yet. You say “sadly” but it seems like you are almost hoping that he does relapse and hurts himself. That’s really weird.

      • Justjj says:

        If Jon Hamm is lonely, he should call me. But seriously, unless you have been in a long term relationship with an addict/alcoholic or you have lived with one, have all the seats before you call Jen an enabler and say she is equally to blame. No. Not true.

  2. Aims says:

    It sounds like no matter how you do the math, they both cheated on their spouses . I’m going to generalize here, but the odds of a lasting relationship born out of an affair is low. It’s hard to build a trusting relationship out of a deception . My feelings are they both deserve each other . They’re ways of getting out of your marriage , then moving forward .

    • greenmonster says:

      I also don’t believe this relationship is going to last. When you have an affair, the secrecy and the forbidden adds to the attraction. Now that everything is out in the open and they can date officially it will get boring or annoying. Wanna bet that living with drinking Ben is not as much fun as spending a few nights with him in a Hotel in Vegas?

  3. Anon says:

    I don’t think she’s beating Ben at his own game. I think she looks just as bad he does. Just as fame hungry. Once they break up, because they will, I think she will have issues if she wants to continue to date well known people. This affair makes it seem like she is too public, and I think famous guys will think twice now. She’s not famous enough in her own right to be this public about her relationship.

    • Jennie Hix says:

      It kind of sounds like she wanted an “upgrade” and is currently overplaying her hand, although she doesn’t realize it yet. When Ben moves on with all of his money, she will be left with the stigma of being the homewrecker. I agree, other famous men will think twice after this.

  4. @BitingPanda says:

    What I find hardest to believe is that Ben would carry on any side relationship for this long.
    Seems like so much work to maintain. Especially while being the poster star for friendly divorce.

  5. jugil1 says:

    As the old saying goes “how you get them is how you’ll lose them”.

    • Miss M says:

      In their case, who will cheat first?!

    • A says:

      That was certainly true for Jennifer Garner, cheating on Vartan and Foley. Karma got her eventually.

      • Lady D says:

        You can find their quotes on the relationship ending if you google. Again, both have said repeatedly it didn’t happen that way. Why would they lie for her, especially if they were the scorned party she so deserves karma for?

      • uni says:

        Oh SNAP! lol Yeah, it’s well-known that Garner was a big cheater herself. What goes around comes around.

      • Luca76 says:

        Uhm the whole you can find quotes thing is BS you can find quotes from Ben and Jen about how their separation is amicable. Guess what people lie folks . Vartan, and Foley seem to have moved on and don’t want to rehash the embarrassment of being publicly dumped and cheated on by Garner but those of us who were fans of Alias remember what happened.
        That being said I don’t really think it matters what happened back then. The whole ‘you lose them how you get them’ IMO is the kind of lie people tell themselves to comfort themselves when they are feeling bad about being cheated on but it’s just not really true. What I get out of the whole thing is they are cheaters (including Garner) unhealthy and are attracted to other unhealthy people and perpetuate bad patterns in their life. But maybe a tree will fall on Ben tomorrow just after he kisses Lindsay and she’ll lose him because of the tree and not because he cheated. Maybe he’ll become impotent and just stay devoted to Lindsay..Maybe they’ll happily be in an open relationship.Life isn’t really that predictable.

      • Ramona says:

        I dont see why her exes would lie to cover up her cheating. Its more likely that people on the outside looking in have no idea what was happening or the timelines. Also, unless a breakup is really acrimonious, Hollywood couples usually take time to announce a breakup. It allows them to process without the whole world watching. Its not unusual for split couples to even walk the red carpet as if they are still together just because they are not ready to announce yet,

      • emily says:

        The same thing that is happening now was happening then — “sources” were leaking info about Jen cheating. There was way too much noise over the years for all of it to have been untrue.

        Look at Ben’s public declarations about Jen during the past two years. They were all total BS because he was with Lindsay the entire time. Celebs lie to the press to project a certain image all the time.

      • Luca76 says:

        Same reason Jen’s covering for Ben I guess. Especially with Vartan it was rather blatant. And they treated him awfully basically having his character get kidnapped and off the show for the last season so as not to make Ben Affleck uncomfortable with their love scenes which is one thing I will never forgive him for.

      • Dem says:

        I was a massive Aliens fan and I dont recall these “rumors”. If they even existed contemporenously, they have been amplified in recent years. People are married to the idea of tearing Jens sainted image down by whatever means. Also, theres an interesting appearance constantly made by Jlo fans on this. They are still mad from 15 years ago that Ben deigned to have Bennifer 2.0

      • JoJo says:

        @LadyD – My opinion on the Foley and Vartan thing is similar to @Luca76 in that people lie, especially the celebrities involved, so I don’t take what they say at face value.

        That said (and I obviously have no idea), I don’t necessarily believe Garner actually physically cheated on either Foley or Vartan. In the case of Foley, to me, it’s painstakingly, unmistakably obvious that she became infatuated with Ben while married to Scott. See Dinner with Five. See Dare Devil red carpet interviews with Scott, Jennifer and Ben present – blatantly awkward! 🙂 That doesn’t mean she acted on it (except to embarrass herself with over the top gushing over Ben), but I do think she ended the marriage to Scott because of her feelings for Ben. Then with Vartan, I think she was just biding her time until Ben wasn’t with JLo anymore.

      • Luca76 says:

        @Jojo no one really knows anything unless they are there but in terms of gossip it was in the tabloids (this as far as I know was before Perez Hilton etc). But it was definitely something that they were publicly being asked about while it was happening. While BA and JLo and Foley Garner were together and later with Vartan. My own feeling is Affleck being the dog that he was of course slept with Garner casually during the Daredevil shoot but wasn’t going to endanger his Bennifer1,0 status whereas it shook Garner’s marriage then she rebounded with Vartan (which may also have been cheating) then once Affleck was free she dumped Vartan for Ben. It was really mercenary and blatant if you were paying attention to gossip (which I was). And then the way Vartan was treated really always informed my impression of Garner. Because all of the sudden he was off the show (even though he was very popular) until the finale.
        Vartan’s quotes about the whole issue were IMO more a matter of protecting his job and place with the network.

        I think Garner fans have put her on this pedestal but really Affleck is a dog. And Jen obviously with neon signs had the hots for him. Theres just no way nothing happened. And the only reason anyone can come up with that it wouldn’t have was because Jen is some pillar of virtue ***eyerolls****

      • rowan says:

        I was going to type a response to Jojo but Luca76 basically said what I wanted to, so +1.

      • JoJo says:

        @Luca76 – Oh yeah, I don’t doubt it. To be honest, I never paid too much attention to Jen until I heard she and Ben got married, which I remember being completely baffled by, until I read she was pregnant. I do remember the stories about her “loving drama” and calling Ben right in front of Scott, etc., so it wouldn’t shock me if what you’re saying is true.

      • magnoliarose says:

        Luca76 You speak the truth. I don’t think many people remember her from before. This was not her image then. She had a terrible reputation as a meangirl. When Lainey wrote about her years ago it wasn’t flattering. Everyone thought she and Foley were so adorable together and the story was he was a cuckold. He had a few unhinged interviews and he was bitter. Her start with Ben was wasn’t met with positive press. They have never been the golden couple or a healthy one.
        Foley and Vartan aren’t being truthful but that is what they do for whatever reasons behind the scenes.
        That doesn’t mean she deserved how he treated her. Not at all. She doesn’t have to be perfect to be less of the wronged party in this. I feel very sorry for her right now. I wouldn’t want to see Lindsay’s story all over the place when my family has just been shattered for the final time. She is the one who is going to shoulder the responsibility of trying to make things better for her kids when she is probably emotionally suffering beyond her limit.

      • MiaC says:

        @JOJO- That Dinner with Five was so cringe-worthy! I had totally forgotten about that.

      • pk says:

        In spite of her sketchy history, Jennifer was devoted to Ben and their kids.

  6. Nicole says:

    Again who are their PR people?! The more I read the more I find these two increasingly vile.
    If I was WB I would tell ben to sit down and look pretty at SDCC this weekend. What a disaster they must be pissed at this press.
    Lindsay you’re not cute for “breaking up a Hollywood marriage” you’re an idiot just like the rest.

    • LadyT says:

      Why doesn’t WB just cut their losses and cut him loose? He wasn’t and isn’t a popular or successful choice for Batman. His image is even worse now. And I’ve seen nothing to make me think he has even the remotest desire to be involved.

      • Dem says:

        He is actually a very popular Batman iteration among Comic fans. Just visit Reddit. Those guys also dont pay any attention to this nonsense and would downvote you to hell if you even mentioned it. The only factor WB should consider is his sobriety. If he is Depp level of trashed, he will cost them money during the production and might not deliver a strong performance.

        That said, I saw a quick headline today about him pulling out of a Netflix project. I think he has serious sobriety problems right now.

      • Flora says:

        I think he’s sober right now and has been in recent months. His appearance is usually a good indicator of his sobriety and he’s been looking leaner and better-rested in recent pics. Compare how he looked in fan pics and the Starkey thing this week versus how he looked a few months ago. Huge difference. I think he dropped out of Triple Frontier bc of Justice League reshoots. I read that TF starts filming next month, that’s not really any time for him to prepare.

      • A says:

        @Dem Very true. I feel like men dont really care about tabloid gossip in general. Which is probably why Bens career has never actually been affected by all of the garbage. His target audience is the guys.

      • LadyT says:

        I’m no comic fan and didn’t know he was a popular choice among them. Surely the studio is interested in a much wider audience though? I saw Wonder Woman because of the praise heaped on Gal Gadot and the movie in general. I didn’t get that impression about Affleck or his Batman movie.
        You’re right about the tabloid gossip of course. Most people don’t give a hoot but that wasn’t my main point.
        I thought his movie was a disappointment in general. He doesn’t seem fired up about the part. And his sobriety/personal life seem precarious to invest in.

      • rowan says:

        @LadyT Batman v Superman was the first time anyone ever saw Affleck as Batman, so he didn’t have the advantage of hype. The feeling that I get around the web is that fans weren’t expecting to like his Batman at all but have grudgingly admitted that he did a good (great?) job. His portrayal is very close to the comics version, moreso than any other Batman actor. And these people are still looking forward to his standalone film, especially now that Reeves is on board to direct. YMMV.

      • KB says:

        Ben Affleck as Batman and Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman are basically the only two things going well for the DC universe right now. His Batman is very popular among people who see those movies.

      • Annetommy says:

        I didn’t see Batman but people I know who did seemed to think he was the best thing in it; that may be damning by faint praise, but presumably DC feel that if they get the other stuff right it could be really good.

      • magnoliarose says:

        LadyT Ben’s an Oscar winner and regarded as very talented. Hollywood is full of douchey creeps. Roman Polanski and Woody Allen haven’t been punished for far worse so a messy divorce is nothing. Some of his fan boys blame Jen totally or think its stupid. He says all these nice things about Jen publicly and that appeases a lot of people.

        He used to write Goopy’s witty lines she became famous for back when they dated.

  7. A says:

    The Evan Rachel Wood thing is so dumb. One, Kevin Smith is nothing if not a Ben Affleck name dropper. It’s seriously all he does and the only way he gets any attention (which is why he continues to do it). I wonder if Affleck even said that 20 years ago. I can see why they are no longer friends. One has at least advanced in his life, the other is still clinging to fame from decades ago and namedropping famous people he used to know.

    • Bethy says:

      Kevin Smith gave Ben his big break. The only reason I even knew of Ben “I’m An A-hole” Affleck is because of Chasing Amy. They were friends for years and Matt and Ben guest starred in Kevin’s movies. Kevin has always talked about his movies in his comedy routines. He’s like Kathy Griffith that way. So while Kevin hasn’t made a good movie in years, IMO, the guy is still working. He may not be Batman, but he’s still a good filmmaker. Cut the dude some slack. Clerks is a classic in American cinema. 😉

      • A says:

        Are you aware that Ben Affleck won an Oscar in 1997?

      • Dem says:

        No. Ben actually did Kevin Smith a bunch of favors over several years, not only appearing in like four of his films at SAG minimum but convincing his friends like Matt and Casey to do the same. He only quit Kevin Smith after Gigli flopped.

      • Dem says:

        Sorry, Jersey Girl not Gigli.

      • magnoliarose says:

        He also blamed Jen for breaking up their friendship. He said she was hyper protective and basically didn’t like him. He is still upset about it apparently.

    • Bethy says:

      @A, Ben won his screenwriting Oscar in 1998, I believe, as Good Will Hunting came out in January 1998, although it was filmed in 1997. Chasing Amy came out prior to that (April 1997). The first thing I ever saw Ben in was Chasing Amy. Good Will Hunting was never my jam except for Robin Williams’ performance.

      • Richard Linklater says:

        He played a pretty noteworthy role in Dazed and Confused. That was ’93. With or without Chasing Amy, he still wins the Oscar. Good Will Hunting, if anything, was his big break.

  8. Catherinethegoodenough says:

    Miller “got a call from someone as close to Ben as it is possible to be.” So would that be, uh, Jen? I’m guessing it wasn’t his mom.

  9. LittlestRoman says:

    In my gossip fantasy land, Miller and Garner would hook up, a la Shania Twain. It makes such a nice, conclusive story line.

  10. jccw says:

    If they were “off and on” for several years, I wonder what caused the “off” times? Surely if they are so in love, why play around for 3-4 years, they both eventually are divorcing, they could of did this right away. Stupid is as stupid does I guess.

    • B says:

      That’s why I’m not buying this soulmates crap. He was free to date Shookus when he got separated from Garner but he didn’t. Instead he tried to get back with Garner and stop the divorce. Why?

      • Flora says:

        I don’t think he was really trying to save his marriage if he was having sex with another woman (or women) the whole time. And the whole soulmate thing is from an anon source — who knows if that’s true and it’s how he really feels?

  11. MAry says:

    This is so obvious how it went down. I think both are jerks for stringing along their spouses, probably because they are selfish and didnt want to deal with the inconvenience on their party life style if they had to get a divorce and their spouses stopped being doormats cuz they realized there was no hope of reconciliation.

  12. Carol says:

    Foxilla has a blind from July 18th that says the 2 most butt-kissing tabloid sites/mags are in a war of competing publicists being played out in public.
    I honestly thought it would be US Weekly for Jen!

    • Luca76 says:

      Thats not really a blind item but I’ll just say that it’s been obvious from the very beginning there were two teams leaking. Jen’s team almost always floats reconciliation. Ben’s team almost always amicable separation.

      • Carol says:

        I was surprised it was People for Garner. Aterall, she went after them for printing that article she didn’t authorize. Do u think any of the tabloid mags will eventually do an article on Shookus focusing on her accomplishments and then leading into her relationship with Affleck?

      • Luca76 says:

        Hmm i don’t think there will be much to gain for that. Unlike some I don’t think she’s necessarily getting something professionally out of Ben. She was already an Emmy winner and on lists etc. I think she was at least on her way to being a power player. If this comes to be seen as a distraction for her professionally it may hurt her. But ultimately its Ben who is at the mercy of PR.

      • magnoliarose says:

        Luca76 Stop reading my mind. lol I think the same. He’s not as dazzling to her as people may think. If you are around famous people all of the time it isn’t special or impressive. The magic is long gone and they are just people. I don’t know what she sees him but a career boost is unlikely.

  13. GrandJen says:

    I still say they won’t last. I don’t care how long they were on the down low; Affleck probably has multiple side peices at all times. He’s a messy messy guy. I bet Shookus is the tip of the mistress iceberg.

  14. emily says:

    Eh, I’m doubtful that it’s a legit source going to the DM. They’ll print anything. Anyone with access to her facebook (or a family member’s facebook) could have provided those pics and I tend to think that someone who wants to blab that much would probably start with People and then work down the hierarchy of tabloid legitimacy. DM is waaaaaay down there. Let’s wait and see if the other more reputable tabloids pick up on the story and repeat some of the claims.

  15. Originaltessa says:

    My gut tells me they are both addicts and very self destructive and have found some sort of validation in each other. They both convince the other that hurting your spouse, partying all night, and neglecting your role as a parent is ok, because the other is doing it too. Like in their minds, two wrongs is adding up to a right.

    • LearningtheSystem says:

      One of the comments attributed to Ben by “friends” was that one of the things about Lindsay he enjoyed was that she didn’t try to change him. So telling.

    • Christin says:

      Enabler is my guess as well. And for a brief time, it will be all rosy (until one or both slip deeper into their vices / issues).

  16. Caroline says:

    Ben out of Triple Frontier to “focus on wellness &family. Which family? He and Lindsay’s? Certainly not with his children with Jen. The world can see him getting papped in NY and that is that is only when he isn’t flying under the radar! You can’t be in NY&LA at the same time last time I checked! Not even if you are Batman!)
    IIs that is his way of saying he is not well?

    • Flora says:

      A few webloids (and reposted one of them) claimed that Lindsay is pregnant a few days ago. So far, no rebuttal from Gossip Cop.

      • Originaltessa says:

        Oh brother… As a fan of Jennifer Garner, that’s probably the best and worst thing that could have happened. It’s a clear end, something that makes moving on easier, but also devastating. Her kids, who are clearly her whole world will have a new sibling. How confusing and messy.

      • magnoliarose says:

        Please No. There is enough hurt already.

      • JoJo says:

        Take it for what it’s worth, but there is a rebuttal from Gossip Cop on the pregnancy rumor.

      • H says:

        @JoJo They did a rebuttal for In Touch, who claimed that he and shookus were “discussing” having a baby. A different tabloid is claiming that she’s already pregnant and they’ve had their first appointment.

  17. lunchcoma says:

    I don’t approve of this affair and think Shookus sounds shady, but I’m rolling my eyes a bit at the ex. If you’ve been separated since 2014 and are holding out hope of reconciliation around New Years of 2017, you’re probably deluding yourself.

    • A says:

      I agree but lol. Affleck and Garner have been separated since 2015 (really 2014) but there are still people who are hoping they’ll get back together. Even after all of this. It’s totally insane.

      • lunchcoma says:

        Oh, shippers never give up, A! People still think Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams will end up together! The people involved should be a bit more realistic, though.

    • someone says:

      What’s with the whole separated but not divorced thing? To be separated but not divorced since 2014 makes no sense. That’s three years. I thought Ben and Jen waiting 2 years to file for divorce was bad enough. What’s the point of remaining legally married?

      • MAry says:

        I really wonder too. I think the cheated on spouse is getting lead on and the ben/lindsay is taking advantage of their spouses hope for a reconciliation. I think Jennifer and the ex husband were trying to reconcile and probably were much more accomodating to the cheaters and their BS when they though there was a chance of working things out. Also maybe ben and lindsay still held a flame for their spouses?

        Does Ben really even want 50/50 custody or to have his kids with him without JEN there to do the heavy lifting???

      • lunchcoma says:

        I do know people who’ve done it for very practical reasons, Someone. A few of them involved a need to keep a spouse on a health plan, and another was an elderly couple who were mostly concerned with taxes and their children’s inheritance and figured they’d just ignore each other.

        For young, well off people, it makes less sense. Jen and Ben were obviously trying to work things out, maybe long past the point where it was possible. Maybe that was the case with the other couple too?

      • kat says:

        If a guy is regularly sleeping with his mistress, he isn’t really trying to work anything out with his wife, at least not in my opinion.

      • lunchcoma says:

        I suspect Ben has a huge capacity for denial and compartmentalization. It goes with the addiction territory.

      • ELX says:

        Making use of your doormat spouse. Free child care while you ‘party.’

  18. rowan says:

    It’s not exactly accurate that People is reporting that it all started years ago. They always present both sides: that it may have started as an affair, but that other sources say it’s only been the last few months.

    • ScotiaGirl says:

      I think they have been off and on for years (back to 2013/14) but their most recent “on” again just started up again probably around Christmas time is my bet cause something happened in Montana that changed things, you could just tell. So technically they can say their dating is recent. This time they are dating its recent, not counting the other past times.

      There is a blind out called “Not Trilled” and it is about this whole situation. Take a read.

      As for the timeline of Jen/Ben. I think there was a strong attraction between them on Dare Devil. Both were in relationships – not 100% sure if they acted on that attraction or not, my gut tells me No, – just my opinion people, so don’t jump all over me. But both felt the attraction/chemistry. When she was filming the spin off Electra in Vancouver, the studio had Ben fly in and do a cameo. The cameo was later cut from the film. At that time both were free from their relationships. Jennifer said in an interview years ago that Ben wooed her at that time with persauvive emails. That is when I believe they got reaquainted and the spark reignited.
      The Ben fans on this site are grasping at straws, any straws, to try to shift some of the blame in all this mess from Ben to Jen. No matter how much you shuffle around, is anything she did worse or come even close to what he did? Serial cheater, gambler, alcoholic and sustance abuser – who humilatated her and his kids in public and yet you are trying to blame Jen for all this because she stayed. Her crime – she stayed! Thats a pretty vile thing she did. She tried to save him and all he seen it as was someone trying to impose rules on him and like a immature kid he rebelled, and at the same time, tried to keep up his PR image by trying to keep it under wraps to everyone – except her, he wanted her to know so that she would be the one that walked, not him. If she walked no one would need to know that HE made it impossible for her to stay. He destroyed everything – not her, she tried to save it/him and for that you want to crucify her doormat self. Quit trying to blame Jennifer for Ben’s vices and behavior. He is a big boy who knew what he was doing, just the game he was playing backfired. Doormat or not, she did not come close to his marital crimes. He cheated his own kids out of a family and subjected them to this. Do you think he gave his kids two seconds thought when he climbed into bed with the countless randoms or what they would think down the road reading about his escapades? or when he was placing a bet at the blackjack table? or downing that drink? On the flip side do you think she gives her kids two seconds thought before she does anything?
      And for the record I do not believe she calls the paps. There is another blind on about a celebrity who is at her wits ends because the paps stalk her day and night and she can’t dodge them and she is at her wits end. I think the paps know their money market and target those that bring in the bucks. Jen is one. No need to call them – they are always there.

      • kat says:

        If Ben is a big boy who knew what he was doing, why was Jen so content to sacrifice her dignity and self-respect to cover up his crimes for so long? That’s what makes her a doormat. She can’t save him. He has to decide to save himself. If a guy is acting like that with you, he’s just not into you. LOL. He cheated on Jennifer Lopez with strippers and it ended his engagement. Who the eff did Jen think she was marrying? Some Boy Scout?

      • ScotiaGirl says:

        So a doormat deserves more of the blame or just as much as the serial cheater, alcoholic, gambling, drug abuser? Her crime is just as bad? Staying is just as bad as all that?

      • A says:

        @scotiagirl Jen is an enabler and she is not blameless. If Ben the monster you described, then she is definitely guilty of exposing her three young kids to his reckless behavior when she should have been protecting them from it.

      • lunchcoma says:

        There are viewpoints other than being a fan of either person. I believe Ben is an asshole, a serial cheater, an addict, and an idiot. I believe Jen has cheated during her past relationships, calls the paps when she’s with her kids, and generally manipulates the media for favorable coverage.

        She’s far less at fault than her ex-husband. She’s not perfect. Both things can be true.

      • magnoliarose says:

        Scotia I am not a Ben fan. But I think it isn’t fair to cast her in an unrealistic light. Of course they were physical. Why wouldn’t they be? You can’t think he is the type to have a crush 1950s style or that she wasn’t sexually attracted to him. Why does she have to be a saint? Yes she calls the paps. They all do. She would be a fool if she didn’t try to control her image. It is heavy handed in her case along with the protestations but she isn’t wrong to do it.

  19. bonobochick says:

    When did Chris Noth get divorced/ separate from his wife? I hadn’t heard about that. I’m skeptical that she’d be dating Chris cause like Ben has a type, Chris has a type except Lindsay doesn’t fit Chris’s like she does Ben’s.

    • someone says:

      Chris Noth and his wife are not divorced or separated. I think that is the point….

      • Carolinr says:

        Just drag yet another couple into their mess!!
        This is getting messier & messier. I hope Ben was “worth the risk”, Lindsey! I don’t think she realizes or cares the hurt she has inflicted on these families!
        Everybody wants Jen to go public with a new man. If I went through even what I think she went through, men would be the last thing on my mind! She has to be strong for their children while dealing with this whole process!

    • Christin says:

      And Hamm had a long-time GF until a couple years ago (split in 2015).

      Hmmm… Two degrees of Shookus?

      • lunchcoma says:

        Hamm is also an alcoholic, and there were always rumors of him cheating. Maybe that’s her type?

      • AI says:

        Hamm’s people have already denied it.

      • lunchcoma says:

        I saw that. I don’t really believe them, though.

      • bb says:

        Why not?

      • lunchcoma says:

        Because celebrity denials aren’t generally very credible and Hamm’s people are no more or less reliable than the others?

      • bb says:

        *shrug* *sips wine* Well if any woman gets to slob all over the Hammaconda’s third leg, I say more power to her. Hey, Jon is probably still looking for his next mother/girlfriend. Maybe Garner is interested?

  20. cherrypie says:

    Also, in that last pic, she looks a bit like Arnold the Governator

  21. Carolkoi says:

    Kevin Smith is now apologizing for telling that story about Ben Affleck that led to backlash in a Facebook Live Video!
    Seems he does not want to burn any bridges.

    • bb says:

      Day late and a dollar short, IMO. Kevin Smith is a loser. He admits that he and Ben haven’t spoken in years and have no relationship but he’s CONSTANTLY talking about him. Now he summoning ghosts of 20 years past nonsense. He’s not new. He knew that the press would run with that. Just what Ben needed, right? Pretty obvious why they are no longer friends.

  22. ScotiaGirl says:

    Does anyone remember years ago there was a celebrity gossip site called Mel Knows. It was a female and she had info on there about Ben and his cheating escapades. It was around the time The Town was filming. She reported on the site that she had been threatened with a law suit by Ben’s lawyers unless she stopped her items on him, but she was defying them against her own lawyer’s advice. Eventually she reported that she had to shut down the site because they did come through with a lawsuit (Cease and desist), but she was very blantant that was the reason. Also remember that report or tweet whatever it was was deleted by the reporter about Ben involved in a argument with a blond in the uber car. When asked why she took it down she replied “Ask Ben Affleck”. He can cover his tracks sometimes.

  23. corporatestepsister says:

    While I think that this is just a huge drama, I do dislike how Jen suddenly becomes this ‘butter doesn’t melt in my mouth’ housewife despite her own less than stellar antics. I do know that it might in fact work out between Ben and Lindsay and he might actually do better with her. I don’t think marriage to Jen was all perfect and I don’t like her martyr wife and mother act either. If he’s really that much of a mess, she has no sane adult responsible reason to hold on. Let him go and hit the wall and she can enjoy life to the full.

    • bb says:

      Oh ITA. I think that their marriage was mostly bad and barely held together by the three kids. He seems to be sober now and is losing weight. I’m of the mind that there’s no way he’d take someone public unless he was serious about her. And she must be serious about him to put herself and her past/present actions out there, too. So I don’t really get those who are saying that they def won’t last bc they started as an affair. I mean, Garner was a cheater and basically a rebound relationship for Ben and that shitty marriage dragged on for a decade. We’ll see how long it all lasts.

      • B says:

        I don’t think he planned on taking her public yet. X17 busted her coming of of bens house several weeks ago. I think Ben’s people urged them to hold off on reporting it in exchange for some exclusives.

      • AI says:

        Ben took her out to dinner and to a play in London back in June. They were photographed. US mag sat on the pics for some reason. But he wasn’t sneaking around or hiding her.
        X17 is clearly loyal to Jen and anti-Ben. No way would they cut a deal with him. Maybe they took the pics to Jen and she asked them to hold off for her own reasons.

      • corporatestepsister says:

        She’s playing the media game, clearly making it known that she’s not going to let go without a fight, without realizing that there’s nothing there to fight for anymore. He doesn’t love her anymore and he wants out. If he weren’t serious about Lindsay, he wouldn’t be going public and taking the heat for alleged adultery. I don’t think Jen gets it that they’ve been legally separated from years and therefore he’s entitled to do what he wants. It’s not nice, but this is a hard fact of life that men move on and are happier with someone else. He’s moving out and on, not back and he has that right, no matter how painful that might be.

        As for her press games, this is why I don’t sympathize. she’s been playing the press for a long time and using it as a weapon and as far as I’m concerned, no sympathy for me. She’s playing games with reputations and people’s lives. She needs to get a life of her own and MOVE ON and let him be who he is.

    • cricket says:

      I’ve never been a fan of the way that she manipulates the tabloids. The stuff that her people have been leaking feeds the frenzy and that affects her kids’ daily lives. Is getting one over on Ben in the trashy mags really worth that? Let him have his mistress. Take the high road, 50% of his money and find Husband #3. Petty and vindictive is not a good look on anyone. And honestly, it makes her look like Betty Broderick or something — just totally obsessed with her ex who has moved on.

      • Jayna says:

        Bingo. They’ve been split up for two-and-a-half years. Move on, Jen.

      • LearningtheSystem says:

        Move on, Jen? In what way has she not moved on? They have filed for divorce. They have separate houses. They have not appeared together other than for-the-kids events in months, and even then there was nothing remotely romantic in their behavior. She hangs out with her friends, seeming to have a full life there. I don’t think she is pushing this out there – it just humiliates her even more than the nanny did. She may have pulled back any restraint on what the tabs publish, but I’m pretty sure they had plenty of stuff just ready to go when they were released. Its not a secret that deals are made in the PR world, and I do think this was one that she didn’t want out there – because it is utterly humiliating to her! Maybe she finally realized she was still enabling him by being part of his protection and said let the chips fall where they may. Then again, maybe she is part of releasing the information. Who cares? That doesn’t mean she hasn’t moved on. In fact, by releasing it she would be guaranteeing the absolute end, so wouldn’t that actually indicate either way that she has moved on? What does she need to do to prove that she hasn’t? Date someone publicly, whose privacy would then be destroyed? Maybe she really doesn’t need a new man right now? It’s a lot to deal with the kids, and perhaps try to rebuild the career she put aside for her family. I’ve been single for years and I’ve enjoyed the freedom of that quite a bit.

      • Hoh says:

        If Jen is leaking stuff to the tabloids, it absolutely proves that she’s not over him. It’s a very typical “if I can’t have him, no one will” mentality. She can’t have him, so she’s gone scorched Earth. It’s damaging to their kids but I don’t suppose she cares.

      • corporatestepsister says:

        I do think she is going to go all Betty Broderick on anyone who he hooks up with, or even works with. Under the guise of ‘being motherly’ about who is around her kids. I am certain that this won’t be the last we hear of her post-divorce antics.

    • LearningtheSystem says:

      I see it more a case of “protecting his image is no longer my responsibility and so I’m stepping away.” That’s what an enabler has to STOP doing – fixing the stuff for the addict. Letting the consequences (actual) play out is what you are supposed to do for an addict.
      The kids appear to be in counseling (good) so they will have a safe place to talk about and process this stuff.
      Jen is a doormat and enabler when she protects his secrets, and scorched earth when she stops protecting his secrets. Any way to win for her at all?

      • RL says:

        It’s not as simple as you’re trying to make it. The details about the affair 4 years ago came from Jen’s PR people. That isn’t just her no longer “protecting/enabling” Ben, that’s a shot from close range. That’s engaging. And there’s no way for a person like her, who continually calls the paps and schemes with the tabloids, to win at this point. They are all guilty of something.

      • magnoliarose says:

        She can be both things depending on what she is dealing with.
        Ben’s behavior doesn’t mean she has no role in the marriage ending. Nothing is ever that cut and dry. Planting stories is still engaging and that means she isn’t over it.
        The reason some of us aren’t totally outraged is none of this is surprising or new. They have been separated for a few years. How long was he supposed to drag this out? It isn’t realistic. I am not talking about his character just the fact they split up a few years ago. It isn’t a question that she is hurt but this had to end. It was toxic. The only true innocents are the children caught in the middle of this mess.

      • natalie says:

        IMO the only people who are outraged are the Bennifer shippers who were clinging to the idea that they’d get back together. Because otherwise, why would anyone care that a man who has been separated for years is dating someone publicly? They are all taking it waaaay too personally and lashing out.

      • LearningtheSystem says:

        I am not a shipper. I have never thought they should get back together – that was sooo unhealthy a situation.
        The comments I see are all about the fact that their relationship started when it did – when both were married with very small children. There’s a lot of moral outrage. This is on top of the nanny stuff for Ben, so it was a primed pump.
        I don’t think she is the one that initially released the information. I think the information they already had was released when Ben came forward with Lindsay. She may have added details, who knows?
        I can totally relate to wanting the truth to be out there about when this relationship started, though, so I am not going to cast any stones at her. I probably would have done the same to my ex and I can assure you it was NOT that I wanted him back and hadn’t let him go way before the divorce. After what he had put me through, I would have wanted to see the justice of the truth coming out. The sense of injustice is a big motivation for human behavior.

  24. Erica_V says:

    Does anyone else keep reading Shookus as “shookith”? Like i’m so shook I’m shookith?

    Shook is starting to creep up my list of words/phrases I irrationally hate – like pure being used as a synonym for adorable. I hate that.

  25. Heather says:

    I doubt that we’ll ever know the truth about whether or not they really had an affair back in 2013, how long it lasted, when their spouses knew, when both marriages really ended and when a platonic friendship turned romantic. It took Ben years to admit that he and Jen hooked up on the set of Daredevil (when she was married) so we’ll probably have to wait another decade for the true story of Lindsay Shookus. I’m not sure that I’d believe anyone’s version of events at this point anyway. Jen Garner probably isn’t sure of the timeline either — how do you believe a liar like Ben?

  26. Caroline says:

    Us Weekly has pics of Ben & Lindsay getting coffee. It says even though Ben is with his love interest, he wants to spend more time with his family in the coming months.

    • RL says:

      He’s been using the family line for months now and we know that he’s been with Lindsay. Aren’t his kids off from school? And yet here he is, flying here there and everywhere with his gf. I guess she falls under the wellness category.

  27. Ana says:

    I knew it! They did a pap stroll today in NYC. For some reason, she still looks unkempt to me. Ben looks ok because he was wearing his sunglasses. There was a tidbit in Twitter about the new gf regarding her mental state. If true, then, it is sad. Is it why she doesn’t have the full custody of the child? Also, it was hinted there that it is actually Ben’s publicist who is leaking details. I think her name is Shawn Sachs. They are from New York.

    • RL says:

      Her appearance is what makes me believe they’ve really been together for a LONG time. If you were dating Ben Affleck, wouldn’t you fix yourself up a little bit?

      • Jayna says:

        Maybe this is her fixed up, as she perceives it. LOL Horrible style, horrible clothes.

    • Caroline says:

      What did it say about her mental state?
      She doesn’t have full custody? Where was this again?

    • Luca76 says:

      Seriously is it 1957 is it a crime for a woman to have a sex life , a career and let their dad take them to school? I am not condoning the philandering but on no planet would someone assume a man was insane because he doesn’t have full custody of his kids.

    • lunchcoma says:

      The only women who have 100% custody of their children are those whose children’s fathers are unfit, uninterested in parenting, or sperm donors. Everyone else ends up sharing custody, because it’s generally best for kids to know both parents. Whatever her other actions say about her, there’s nothing negative about her ex having partial custody (likewise, it doesn’t reflect badly on Jennifer when Ben has their kids).

  28. H says:

    Why would Ben’s publicist leak stuff about Lindsay?

  29. LearningtheSystem says:

    I don’t think he’s clean and sober overall. My ex could go for days without anything, and then binge for days. The pic of Ben and the GF coming out of the pizza place was really bad – notice the redness around his nose, even? The sweating after just coming out of an air conditioned building? It may not be 24/7, but I think it’s still there.

    • H says:

      It didn’t look like sweat to me. No one sweats on the tops of their shoulders like that. It looked like he walked underneath a watering system or something.

    • Jayna says:

      It feels like overnight he’s trimming down. How did that happen so quickly? I guess it’s been gradual, and I just didn’t notice because he was so bloated and chunky and the weight loss wasn’t noticeable at first..

      • LearningtheSystem says:

        I’m sure he had to lose weight for the reshoots for Justice League, and worked with a trainer. He has seemed trimmer to me in pics for the past couple of months.
        It looks like his entire torso was sweating, and his shirt picked it up in many places where it touched him.

  30. Tina says:

    I feel really bad for her husband. He didn’t ask for any of this. (Some will blame Jennifer Garner) but this is on them. She is being photographed with Ben and her husband is being photographed taking care of their child. Think about the optics of that. Also it said that Ben spent time with his kids last weekend. Big deal. Don’t most fathers spend time with their children? I just wish they would both go away..

    • ursula says:

      Frankly I’m tired of seeing and hearing about Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner and Lindsay Shookus altogether. But stuff about them gets the clicks so it will continue. IDK why Kevin Miller hasn’t filed for divorce yet (if that part is true) but uh, he probably should. WTF at these selfish narcissists and their codependent spouses who just can’t quit them.

      • LearningtheSystem says:

        Because selfish narcissists are VERY good at manipulating people. And, they know how to find the personality type (good natured and helpful) that are more easily manipulated. They will use those persons for as long as they are able as it suits their purposes.

      • RL says:

        Good-natured and helpful? lol Codependent people get validation for themselves through a martyr mentality. Their partner struggles, they swoop in and fix them. Their whole life revolves around their partner’s wants and needs, and that breeds resentment. The narcissist feels nagged and smothered, and the codependent feels neglected and taken advantage of. Garner isn’t being good-natured and helpful when it comes to Ben. She’s enabling and codependent. I think the worst thing for her would be to watch him thrive with someone else, because she wants to be the one who “fixes” him.

      • Jayna says:

        @RL, you hit the nail on the head.

      • RL says:

        @Jayna And you know, for all the more people talk about Ben never improving or being doomed to repeat his mistakes, I don’t think Jen is going to be any better when it comes to relationships. I think she is so used to mothering her partner that unless she changes her behavior, she’ll do the same thing with her next SO. Mother your spouse (and enjoy the martyrdom of it) for 10 years and then tell me how easy it is to treat the next man normally.

      • JoJo says:

        @RL – Couodnt agree more. I’ve been saying this for the last three years. She’s the fixer, and part of her is/was probably addicted to that behavior. Although his behavior was destructive, likely one of the only ways for her to get attention/feel needed by him was to always be that “one special person” who’s always there to pick him up, give him the sound advice he needed, etc. There’s a pretty dead-on blog about this from Chump Lady, called “UBT: Jennifer Garner’s Shit Sandwich.”

      • LearningtheSystem says:

        I think you underestimate the effect of being long-term in a relationship with a narcissist. It’s an extreme example, but how many women defend their abusive partners? It’s the same type of dynamic. The manipulation over a long period of time is intense and isn’t something that goes away quickly. There is some seriously twisted ways the narcissist can play with your head and emotions – you are MADE to feel that they cannot make it without you, and then you are made to feel you are nothing when you don’t play the game. Then, when they are gone, you suddenly have no identity and you have to re-learn healthy thinking processes and identity.
        Even very strong women can become caught up in it. But, the victim is typically someone more trusting and open and thus more easily manipulated. That was my point above. Narcissists know how to pick their best targets, its part of their messed up process, as well.

      • RL says:

        I think you underestimate the effects of being in a long-term relationship with a person who has codependency issues. They need you to struggle so they can save you. This is the way that they fulfill their own emotional needs. They don’t really want you to improve because they need to feel needed. They have no boundaries and “being helpful” is actually enabling. They have convinced themselves that the other person is totally reliant on them and that they cannot survive without their “help.” This is insanely dysfunctional behavior/thinking.

  31. LearningtheSystem says:

    I do think this will impact Ben’s career long term. The fanboys at DC enjoy him as Batman, but they sure didn’t show up for Live By Night. He will probably make tons of money as Batman. But, I do think his appeal in other movies will suffer. Even his non-DC fan base didn’t turn out for Live By Night out of loyalty to Ben.

    There’s a lot of hate going on out there on comments in a broad spectrum of media. I think his ability to appeal to a more general audience will be hindered by their perception of him due to the nanny and now this.

    • ursula says:

      I don’t know what loyalty is supposed to mean. People don’t generally go to movies that get trashed in reviews. Live by Night wasn’t well-reviewed. He did much better with The Accountant and that movie is getting a sequel. Where were Garner’s loyal fans with her blockbusters Wakefield and Nine Lives? Wakefield didn’t even make 300k at the box office. I mean, you win some, you lose some.

    • Jayna says:

      Live By Night got horrible reviews and it’s a genre even many Ben fans don’t care about. Wasn’t it called his vanity project? WB shouldn’t have done the limited release (hoping to get cinematography Oscar awards) before its wide rollout the beginning of the next year. That gave time for so many bad reviews to sink in, that by the time the movie came out and more bad reviews it couldn’t recover.

      He can still write and direct. If he doesn’t have another flop right after LBN, he’s still in the game.

  32. PJ says:

    Something that I noticed that stood out like a sore thumb in the DM article was that they said that Kevin has their daughter “most of the time”. Like, is this, a new development or did he take on primary parenting duties during her infancy? Because while I have no problems with a dad being the main caregiver (particularly if he is the more stable force) I DO take major issues with it if it was merely set-up tsohis way so mommy could run around cheating on daddy by scr*wing EQUALLY MARRIED Ben Affleck (who was also banging his own wife AND the nanny at the time!). It’s disgusting.

    And not to be gross ladies but I don’t have babies yet so I have to ask. Most docs say you have to wait 6 weeks post vaginal delivery to get things going again. As such, are you even really in the mood emotionally or ready physically to go having crazy, s*x sessions just three months post partum?? (And with a dude you have no emotional attachment to, no less?) I would feel far to vulnerable even under the best of circumstances much less with a random guy. I just can’t see how anyone who had just been through the rigors of pregnancy & childbirth could feel rearin’ to go for an affair 🤔 None of this makes any sense to me at all…

  33. Lime says:

    They look like a match made in heaven: 24 hour party people. The “cool girl” thing might be on point. Is it just me or is this divorce/cheating scandal boring? It was only interesting when Jen Garner lost it for a moment and did her leaks. Now the ex-partner of the lady friend is doing the leaks. Boring. Money? A quick few thousands bucks? “A source as close to Ben as can be” – that’s Garner obviously.

  34. Twinkle says:

    He’s an idiot and a douche. She’s obviously a star f^cker, and an adulterer.

  35. corporatestepsister says:

    Once Ben’s divorce is final, I think a lot of this will be over. Any details on when it is final?