Julie Bowen: ‘Anybody who pretends that they’re a perfect parent, I automatically resent’

Julie Bowen spoke to US Magazine at an event for Baby2Baby, a Los Angeles-based charity which provides needed supplies to low income families. They asked her to name a celebrity mom she admires and she drew a blank, said that it’s really hard being a mom (Julie has three sons, ten year-old Oliver and eight year-old twins, John and Gustav) and then threw some verbal side eye at Tori Spelling, who welcomed her fifth child earlier this year and is deep in debt (which Julie didn’t mention of course). The whole conversation sounded so funny to me that I came away wishing there was video. Years ago I covered an interview with Julie when her oldest was three (holy crap that was seven years ago!) in which she told a hilarious story about going hiking with a mom’s group and not having any baby wipes for the toddler. I remembered that because she captured the essence of being a mom so well. She’s still telling it like it is, and the way she segued into discussing moms who pretend like they’re perfect made me think she was still referring to Tori Spelling.

When Us Weekly asked Julie Bowen to name a celebrity mom she admires, the Modern Family actress drew a blank.

“I usually have a good answer to this, but I can’t think of anybody,” the 47-year-old told Us at the Tiny Prints Baby2Baby Holiday Wrapping Party in L.A. on Wednesday, November 29. She then changed the topic to Tori Spelling, who has five kids.

“I don’t know if I look up to her or I’m just confused,” Bowen confessed to Us. “I look up to anyone who clearly loves being a mom because it’s really hard. It’s hard to be a mom. It’s hard to be a dad. It’s exhausting and every day I feel like I’m three steps forward and one step back. I apologize a lot.”

Bowen, who shares Oliver, 10, and twins John and Gustav, 8, with her software developer husband Scott Phillips, admitted she makes a lot of mistakes. “Anybody who pretends that they’re a perfect parent, I automatically resent. I’m like, ‘No, you’re not. None of of us are. We’re all guessing and doing our very, very best.’”

The two-time Emmy winner was equally candid about her 13-year marriage. “Butting heads is part of life. I’ve spent a lot of time in excellent therapy and butting heads is part of life,” she told Us. In fact, Bowen thinks it’s healthy for her sons to see her and Phillips hash things out. “Being perfect is not a good role model for your children,” she said. “They need to see that there are arguments and they need to see how those get resolved.”

[From US Magazine]

I love that Julie follows celebrity news and knows all about Tori Spelling and her five kids and the bullsh-t she feeds to the press. Julie wasn’t too harsh on Tori and she turned it around into admitting that she has her own issues, but that part about parents pretending they’re perfect was telling. Look at Tori’s Instagram, she’s referring to Tori and her constant mantra that the fifth baby saved her marriage. In reality kids are hard, marriages are messy and you work on it. I also loved what she said about apologizing a lot. I do that too with my kid.

Thanks, Baltimore, for a great Thanksgiving! And thanks to neighbor @peardare for the leaf crowns!!

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7 Responses to “Julie Bowen: ‘Anybody who pretends that they’re a perfect parent, I automatically resent’”

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  1. I says:

    Interesting that she couldn’t name a celeb mom that she admires, considering the high-profile celeb moms that have been honored in the last few years by this org: Garner, Goop, Bell. Of course some of those women act like they’re perfect moms so it’s possible that she resents them.

    • Sky says:

      Why would she admire them though? I think it’s such a silly question to ask.

    • Anne says:

      I don’t understand this whole “a mom you admire” thing. Everyone’s circumstances are so different, whether that be personal, professional, or financial. Frankly, kids themselves are so different from each other. How can you really compare yourself against other moms? How do you know how this other woman would do when placed in your situation? I find that whole idea so weird.

      Just stop putting all these pressures on mothers. Most of them are perfectly wonderful women who are doing their very, very best in a very stressful, difficult situation. As long as they’re not abandoning or abusing their children, as long as they just get up everyday and try, that’s all anyone can and should ask for.

  2. Esmom says:

    Eh, I don’t resent the people who pretend to be perfect parents. I don’t know why resentment seems like a strong reaction. I tend to feel a little sorry for them that they feel the need to keep up a facade.

    Anyway, I like Julie and she sounds like she has a good handle and outlook on parenting and relationships. Yay!

  3. CynicalAnn says:

    “Resent”? What a weird thing to say. If you have kids, you know how challenging it can be sometimes-even if you have all the help in the world. Even if people are projecting a certain image with their kids-kids are still going to talk back/get sick/have a tantrum/be upset if you’re leaving them/your kid is going to be left out and you have to help them cope. I think think of a million times where it’s just hard. Of course there are times when it all runs smoothly. But you always know it’s temporary. And you know, when you’re a parent, that all parents are going through the same thing! So why you’d be “resentful” or envious-I have NO idea.

  4. Shannon says:

    I’m a single mom, and my son jokes that we’re like an old married couple. Some days we have so much fun together, other days we just have to retreat to our corners and I feel like I’m doing EVERYTHING wrong. Having kids is not for the faint-of-heart LOL I can only deal with other moms who keep it real, she sounds cool.