Chris Brown bought his three-year-old daughter a baby monkey

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Guess who is going for Father of the Year? Chris Brown. Guess who isn’t going to get it? (Hint: it’s the same answer.) Proving that he is outright allergic to common sense, Chris Brown gave his three-year old daughter, Royalty, an early Christmas present. This is stupid for many reasons. The first is: never give a child a present before the holiday because they will always still expect something cool on the actual day. You can buy them their own crystal castle prior but come Christmas morning there better be something under the tree. This, however, is the least of Brown’s stupidity. The worst is he gave his baby girl a baby capuchin monkey. A baby capuchin monkey – to a three-year-old.

Gawd this is stupid. I mean, every person knows that the parents end up taking care of the pet, especially at that age. So let’s consider the parent here – *oof* that poor monkey. Royalty may be the most responsible little girl on the planet, but she’s three.

Capuchins are not on the endangered list but that does not mean there isn’t a big danger to people, especially untrained people, owning them. I think people remember Ross’ pet Marcel from Friends and think it’s a good idea. Yeah? Well my daughter was pretty keen to have a tiger after she saw Aladdin but I still found the strength to say no.

But why does this story sound familiar? Oh that’s right, because an idiot producer gave a capuchin monkey to Justin Bieber. Guess what happened there, the poor thing was taken from him at the German border when Bieber was on tour with no papers for the monkey. I say/ “poor thing” but the monkey being removed to the Serengeti-Park in Hodenhagen was probably the best thing that could happen to him after he’d been given to Bieber.

So we’re clear, right? This is not a good idea. Even dogs and cats are questionable gifts if the receiver hasn’t expressed they were ready to adopt. You know who should have capuchin babies? Capuchin moms and dads, that’s who.

And then there’s this:

Focused 😂😘

A post shared by 💔🌕🏆 🔥🐐 (@chrisbrownofficial) on

I found this article on horse painting so I guess it’s a thing? It seems odd to me but I guess people paint their pet turtles. I think it’s safe to say that Royalty’s relationship to pets thus far has been unconventional at best.

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47 Responses to “Chris Brown bought his three-year-old daughter a baby monkey”

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  1. Brunswickstoval says:

    I can’t believe you can legally do this. Ugh those poor animals.

    • Peeking in says:

      He just bought her a puppy a few weeks ago. I guess she’ll ignore the poor thing and focus on this monkey.

    • magnoliarose says:

      It should be illegal and or screening and training of potential owners. That would weed out a lot of fools, and the people who really would care for the monkey and love the monkey would be good for them. I prefer even then the monkey’s be in rescue situations and orphans. Otherwise, it is cruel because they do live in groups and are territorial so this will not end well. The monkey will probably harass he puppy and create behavioral problems.

    • Heidi says:

      How unbelievably cruel to tear a baby monkey from its mother. If this baby was wild caught, then the mother was most likely killed.

  2. ilove6kies says:

    What a moron

  3. Char says:

    Will one day Royalty marry King Cairo?

  4. Sixer says:

    What is the MATTER with people? This is a living creature, not an accoutrement.

    • magnoliarose says:

      Chris Brown is a druggy abusive sexually confused violent a-hole and should not even be famous anymore. I have no idea why anyone keeps giving him chances, but they do. The person I know who worked with him once hates him, and this person rarely hates anyone.

    • INeedANap says:

      For people like him, buying fancy things is the same as love. It’s damaging to the poor monkey and his poor daughter. And most damning, it’s one of his more minor character flaws.

      • Megan says:

        The monkey may be small, but that does not mean it doesn’t pose a danger to his daughter in terms of disease transmission through bites and feces. It drives me nuts that states allow the sale of wild animal as pets.

    • Sixer says:

      People like him just cannot see outside themselves, can they? It infects every single thing they do, right down to this.

  5. RBC says:

    This is not going to end well. Also if it has not been said lately, Chris Brown is a disgusting human being

  6. smcollins says:

    Royalty is absolutely adorable. That’s all I’ve got.

  7. Izzy says:

    This man is an idiot

  8. Shambles says:

    That poor child. That poor monkey. I feel for all innocent beings involved with the pile of trash that is Chris Brown.

  9. Jussie says:

    God he’s trash.

    I don’t get how he still has a career or fans. He peaked almost immediately after his career started over a decade ago. It’s all been downhill from there. People talk about his talent, but he’s really not that talented. He can sing, but in the really bland, mediocre way tens of thousands of young guys can sing. He can dance, but no better than any decent back-up dancer. He’s not even attractive. He never was, but now he looks like an after picture in a meth PSA. So who’s still stanning for this douche?

  10. HelloSunshine says:

    He is very, very clearly on drugs and wasn’t capable of a rational decision before it was obvious the was addicted so I imagine this is just the beginning of it. This should not be legal at all. Especially with a three year old involved. How long before the monkey stops showing up in Instagrams and we never learn what happened to it?

  11. Lucy says:

    Poor little monkey. Poor baby girl. And HE SHOULD BE IN JAIL.

  12. Linabear says:

    Hate him.

  13. BearcatLawyer says:

    Who sold this baby monkey to Chris Brown of all people? Where is this animal being kept? And is he passing this off as a “service animal” to avoid state and local wild animal laws? Entirely too much irresponsible and questionable conduct before my coffee….

  14. Louise177 says:

    I think this is overblown. I think the monkey is actually his. Chris will “take care” of it and Royalty will play with it. That being said people shouldn’t own monkeys. I don’t know how that became a thing.

    • Shambles says:

      Yeah, Brown is probably the owner, not the 3 year old. But that’s probably worse.

    • swak says:

      Does it matter who the owner is? Monkeys should never be pets.

    • magnoliarose says:

      Monkey’s should be rescues or orphans to be a human companion and only if the person is educated. They are VERY territorial and can act like a-holes when they are mad. I took my children to a refuge for rescued “pets” that were exotic and needed to specialized care. It is atrocious what people do.
      My nephew wants to be an exotic animal vet, he is young but I hope he does it, I think it could be rewarding. The baby sloths were so cute and cuddly, but some idiot was going to breed sloths and sell them illegally. Who does something so asinine?

  15. Beth says:

    My daddy hadn’t even given me a hamster until I was 8.

  16. minx says:

    Oh, brother.

  17. Raina says:

    I barely got fish that only lived one day because my dad got drunk and fed them pieces of chicken cutlets.
    That said, I kinda think that, although having these animals as pets may be a bad idea, they will probably still be very well taken care of. Rich people tend to love their animals and hire enough people to make sure they’re well tended to. It’s mostly people they treat like shyte.

    • Pandy says:

      Discounting Paris Hilton’s dead dogs locked in her closet? Let’s hope the monkey gets sent off to a sanctuary tomorrow.

  18. Moxie Remon says:

    It might be impossible, but I hope he gets mauled.

  19. Shijel says:

    Poor monkey. They should absolutely not be kept as pets, as working animals. They’re very intelligent, and absolutely not domesticated like dogs are.

    And poor little Royalty, with a father like that. She’s adorable, like an elf with those ears! But she shouldn’t be left anywhere near Fist Brown. 🙁

  20. Wren says:

    I have nothing to say about this person or his actions, but I will confirm horse painting is a thing. Kids love it! We did it every week at the horse camp where I used to work. You use the non-toxic water based paint they sell for kids to play with, and you can finger paint or use brushes. The kids would paint the horses, then the next day we’d bathe them and wash off all the paint. The horses don’t care and some even seem to enjoy it. The worst that happened was a poor little gray pony got painted as a zebra with big black stripes and then couldn’t figure out why his pasture buddies were a little scared of him.

    Horse painting; fun wholesome kid activity where no animals are harmed.

    • OriginalLala says:

      I feel like painting an animal is just not a good idea. how does that teach children to respect animals and have empathy and compassion? no, it teaches them that animals are property like a piece of paper or furniture. If you want to teach how to respect animals you dont treat them like inanimate objects.

      • Wren says:

        It’s actually been scientifically studied that interacting with animals, particularly horses, improves empathy and compassion in children. The painting was a light hearted way for the kids to bond with the horses while the horses got a nice relaxing break in the shade. Making a loved one “pretty” is a common way children express their adoration. If you’ve never seen an old horse fawned over by a bunch of giggling kids, well, you’re missing something special. It’s the human-animal bond in the purest form.

        We also taught proper animal stewardship, care, and treatment of the horses. The kids were taught where horses don’t like to be touched and how to recognize (and stop) when a horse doesn’t like something you’re doing. They were taught the basics of riding and handling horses (aka communicating). The ability to essentially talk to an animal that doesn’t speak English and have them respond is a transformative experience for many kids. It was for me. Painting the horses was simply a fun step up from grooming them, and then the subsequent bathing taught the kids how to bathe a horse properly. It wasn’t some kind of free-for-all with the horses as props. The horses were the reason for being.

  21. nicegirl says:

    Hecate, your writing makes me so happy. Especially these excerpts from the above article:

    “Yeah? Well my daughter was pretty keen to have a tiger after she saw Aladdin but I still found the strength to say no.”


    “You know who should have capuchin babies? Capuchin moms and dads, that’s who.”

    Looking forward to reading more of your very enjoyable posts, Hecate. Thank you!

  22. Ann says:

    People shouldn’t be painting animals. That seems really messed up to me. I have a tortoise and I would never paint its shell just like I’d never paint a dog or any other kind of animal. Horse painting also seems like a good way for a child to get kicked in the face.

    • Wren says:

      If you do it wrong, sure. But a well (and knowledgeably) supervised kid armed with a little tempra finger paint isn’t going to harm the horse or get kicked in the face. We did it all the time at horse camp. The kids got a good giggle, the horses got fawned over and loved and petted, we admired the “art”, then we bathed the horses. Nobody was hurt and everyone was happy, horses included. I don’t know about what’s happening in the video, but it can be a fun and safe activity if done right.

  23. Lurker says:

    That video of her painting the horse’s legs made me so nervous, especially when she crawled underneath…

  24. Littlestar says:

    Poor baby monkey, you can see right there when Royalty moves the monkey out of the blanket that the monkey is uncomfortable and searching to feel comforted again. The monkey does not relish being picked up either afterwards, it’s body language is stiff. Baby monkeys need their monkey mamas, not three year old humans using them as living dolls. Sad, monkeys are complex social animals and this monkey has been separated from its mother; damage that will probably last a lifetime. Shame on people who do this to animals.

  25. pinetree13 says:

    When monkies go through their teenage phase they get very aggressive and will bite. This is why they are not good pets.

  26. LittlefishMom says:

    The poor monkey. This guy just needs to go away. I didn’t even know he HAD a kid let alone a little girl. Good grief.