Demi Moore was ‘spiraling down a path of self-destruction… I never felt good enough’

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It came out in late 2011 that Demi Moore’s then-husband, Ashton Kutcher, was cheating on her. One of his hookups went to the tabloids, which must have been devastating to Demi. Their marriage dissolved quickly after that. In January of 2012, Demi had a medical crisis/overdose, thought to be from synthetic marijuana, for which the paramedics were called. She went to rehab in early 2012. There were stories and photos of her into 2013 suggesting she was not yet sober. Demi achieved sobriety in 2014 I think, when she started showing up at events looking fabulous. She did this without much fanfare and without talking about it. I mention all this as background and am not trying to shame her. We all have our own journey and she never put herself out there as an example.

Anyway, Demi was honored over the weekend as Woman of The Year by the Peggy Albrecht Friendly House, which is the first residential program in the country for women recovering from alcohol and drug abuse.” In her acceptance speech she talked about her sobriety journey in general terms. She also alluded to an intervention, but she said it happened early in her career. I read these headlines thinking she was talking about that time following her split with Ashton but don’t think that’s the case. Here’s what she said.

“I feel like there’s a defining moments in our lives that shape who we are and the direction we go and early in my career, I was spiraling down a path of real self-destruction and no matter what successes I had, I just never felt good enough… I had absolutely no value for myself and this self-destructive path, it very quickly brought me to a real crisis point and it wasn’t clear at the time the reason. Maybe it was divine intervention.”

Moore noted two unnamed people who she “barely knew” who stood up for her. As the actress joked, it was more like an “ultimatum.” “Unless I was dead, I better show up,” she quipped.

Without getting too specific, the G.I. Jane star said she was given “a chance to redirect the course of my life before I destroyed everything.”

“Clearly they saw more of me than I saw of myself,” Moore noted. “And I’m so grateful because without that opportunity, without their believing me, I wouldn’t be standing here today.”

“Life is certainly not a straight line and I think everyone here has dealt with not feeling good enough at some point in their lives,” she said. “I know in a moment of great struggle for me, I’ve reached out to a wise teacher and expressed my fear that I wasn’t good enough and she said, ‘You will never be good enough, but you can know the value of your worth. Put down the measuring stick.’”

As she finished, “So today, I put down the measuring stick and I thank you for this beautiful acknowledgment and the opportunity to know the value of my worth.”

[From E! Online]

It’s kind of impressive that Demi just got sober and didn’t say anything about it for years. At first this reminded me of Simon Pegg opening up about his sobriety a full seven years later, when he knew he was able to maintain it. Demi didn’t get into details here, which is her prerogative, and she phrases it like it happened decades ago. Plus I guess I can’t assume that’s what happened, because she didn’t even specify. This is probably the most she’ll say, that it was hard and she felt “less than.

Also, I don’t mind the oversize 80s jacket trend and I will admit to owning a couple, but this suit is messy and looks too big. You can wear a giant jacket, but maybe have a fitted shirt underneath and don’t pair it with pants that are also loose. She looks great though otherwise.

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photos credit: WENN

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26 Responses to “Demi Moore was ‘spiraling down a path of self-destruction… I never felt good enough’”

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  1. Myrtle says:

    She really was terrific in GI Jane. Wouldn’t mind seeing that again.

    • Esmom says:

      It stuck me as weird that they ID’d her that way. That movie was ages ago! Are they implying it was her peak?

      • Myrtle says:

        It kind of was her peak, as an actress anyway––don’t you agree? Demi was one of the top female movie actresses throughout and until the late 90s, when she took time off to raise her kids. I remember missing her onscreen presence, looking forward to her comeback. But she came back with… Charlie’s Angels. I can’t remember a great film since GI Jane.

      • Veronica S. says:

        I think they chose it because it’s probably her most memorable and interesting role. She dealt with a topic that was fairly controversial for the time (still is, really) and did well with it. It’s also relevant to the topic at hand – overcoming enormous odds to succeed where nobody expected you to.

  2. Esmom says:

    As messy as she was, as an 80s teen I always had a soft spot for her, starting with her stint on General Hospital. I’m glad she’s doing well. She looks great. The suit might not fit perfectly but the idea is cool. I like the stripe on the pant legs.

    Putting down the measuring stick is a great idea. I wish more people would take that advice but the competition for the best life/best body/best whatever seems to be going strong, even if many of those images are just illusions. I get why people might feel bad about themselves. I tell my sons to remember that most people are struggling in private at one time or another and to just be kind, no matter what.

  3. SamC says:

    Great for her! I’d seem to remember reading a long time ago she’d had an intervention around the St Elmo’s Fire/brat pack era, that the characters issues in that movie weren’t that far off from real life. Think there were/are some addiction issues with her parents.

    • holly hobby says:

      Yes I would put the troubles around that time. She was on the cusp of having a big career surge.

  4. lobstah says:

    I’m actually attending my first AA meeting today. I’m nervous and scared but hopeful for a better life. Reading this helped.

    • minx says:

      Good for you!
      My husband celebrated 35 years of sobriety this year and he started like you, with his first meeting.

    • Other Renee says:

      Wishing you all the best, Lobstah. You’ve got this. You’re taking the first step and reaching out for help. Take the rest one day at a time.

    • Lilly says:

      Congratulations @lobstah. I’m happy for you finding a community of support, well another one.

    • Myrtle says:

      Enjoy your first meeting, Lobstah. Good for you. xx

    • kgeo says:

      My friend just started a few weeks ago. She was hiding her problem really well. Anyway, I know it’s a long road, but she loooooves AA, and is doing so much better already. She’s trying for 90 meetings in 90 days, and while that seems like too much obligation, she says she feels revitalized after every meeting. I don’t say this intending to sound selfish, but she’s already a better friend. I’m so happy for her, and I’m happy for you, and I hope it goes well.

    • Beth says:

      Congrats for taking the first step. It’s normal to be nervous and scared when taking a big step like this, but be happy and excited for your future. My moms been sober for 20 years, and I’m so grateful she was brave and strong to go to the AA meetings. Good luck and stay strong!

    • Veronica S. says:

      My coworker just celebrated ten years sobriety last May. She credits AA for saving her life. I’m wishing you well every step of your journey!

    • Esmom says:

      Congrats, lobstah (great name, btw). I can imagine going to your first meeting would seem scary but I can also imagine that it will get easier before you know it. You can do this!

    • Erin Brooks says:

      I remember my first meeting…I was terrified…just know that everyone on there has been in your shoes…be sure to raise your hand and let them know its your first time :)

    • samipup says:

      Good for you. Been to that first meeting, met good, loving friends. You got this. Your name suggests you might be from Maine. Maybe I’ll meet you at a meeting someday. Its scary but, then you have a feeling of relief. You wonder why you struggled for so long.

    • Knitter says:

      Thanks for sharing, @lobstah–I’m rooting for you!

    • Chaine says:

      Best wishes for your sobriety! It definitely helps to have others that have been in the same boat to support you.

    • raincoaster says:

      Good for you! There are lots of resources around to help as well as meetings. Make sure and look at them all to put together what ever works for you personally.

  5. TexasLiz says:

    Wow. Just…WOW. So glad I clicked on this article just so I could see your comment. I have no words. You are amazing and you oh so got this.

  6. lobstah says:

    Thanks, everyone! Your support has warmed my heart. Here I go! :)

  7. Luna Lovegood says:

    I’m bothered by the claim that they’re the first women’s residential treatment program for women. It throws people off and I doubt they are “the first”. I went to CLARE foundation in Santa Monica. They have a women’s residential treatment program. I was there in 2003 for 6 months and then lived in their women and children’s residential treatment for a year. With my kids. It included 3 meetings a week and family counseling once a week. CLARE foundation in Santa Monica saves lives. Period. For a treatment center to make claims of being the first is to me unethical and misleading. It makes it sound as though women’s programs are few and far between. They are not. There’s help for all.

    • raincoaster says:

      No, there is not, sadly. All you have to do is walk down any Main Street in America to know that there is not room for all. When Vancouver had its last opioid crisis in the 90′s there were only 24 women’s rehab beds available in the entire province. A junkie died every 48 hours for more than a year. There isn’t room for all. There never has been. And if they were first, good for them. The program you attended was probably inspired by them, or at least the path through the ice was broken by the program that was first.

  8. raincoaster says:

    If I recall correctly, she had an intervention when she was very young: either during her soap opera days or VERY early into her St Elmo’s Fire period. I think Judd Nelson was involved, of all people.