Deplorable wingnuts tried to smear Bob Mueller, and now the FBI is investigating

Robert Mueller Named As Special Counsel On Russia Probe

Robert Mueller has the face of a trustworthy cop, like a cop you would want to hunt down the person who hurt you. It would be hard for me to believe that Mueller is secretly a drunken buffoon or a serial predator. That’s the thing about lies – you actually have to make them believable. But each person has their own threshold of what they believe and what they want to believe, and for Deplorables, that threshold is basically “believe whatever Trump and his minions say.” Which is why so many of them were salivating at the idea that Mueller was secretly a serial predator. As it turns out, that story was completely made up by right-wing lunatics, lunatics who even went so far as to offer money to women if they came forward with a false story about Mueller. Mueller was on to it though, and he’s already referred those motherf–kers to the FBI.

Special counsel Robert Mueller last week asked the FBI to investigate a possible scam in which a woman would make false claims that he had sexually assaulted her, after several political reporters were contacted about doing a story on the alleged assault.

Multiple reporters were contacted over the past few weeks about a woman who said she had been offered money to say she was sexually assaulted by Mueller, the special counsel who is probing possible collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia. After investigating, according to the political website Hill Reporter, the reporters each independently determined the assault allegations were a hoax and that the woman appeared to have been offered a significant amount of money to make the claim. The reporters then contacted the special counsel’s office to report that they had been approached about the scheme.

“When we learned last week of allegations that women were offered money to make false claims about the special counsel, we immediately referred the matter to the FBI for investigation,” said Peter Carr, spokesperson for the special counsel.

While investigating the possibility of a hoax, the Hill Reporter’s Ed Krassenstein, who was one of the reporters contacted, said he received threats, including a text message reading, “You’re in over your head…. Drop this” which included his and another editor’s home addresses.

Around the same time reporters began to be contacted about the assault allegations, Jack Burkman, a Republican lobbyist and radio host began promoting, via his Facebook page, that he is investigating sexual misconduct and alcohol-related allegations against Mueller. On Tuesday morning he tweeted that he would hold a press conference two days later to “reveal the first of Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s sex assault victims.”

[From NBC News]

From there, the story took on a life of its own. Various reporters began sharing their stories about being contacted by the same right-wing operatives, and hearing the same vague smear job about Mueller. Then it got even better: perhaps the “ground zero” of this Deplorable operation was none other than Jacob Wahl, a disgraced hedge-fund failure and lying conspiracy nut. Wahl was behind “Surefire Intelligence,” which is basically a dummy corporation – using Wahl’s mother’s phone number – being used to disseminate this false information. What’s funny is that ALL OF THIS IS FRAUD. These dummies thought they were being so clever and that they were brilliantly taking down Trump’s “enemy,” and they’re probably all going to jail now.

U.S.-WASHINGTON D.C.-CAPITOL-MUELLER

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

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57 Responses to “Deplorable wingnuts tried to smear Bob Mueller, and now the FBI is investigating”

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  1. Rapunzel says:

    Wahl is a lunatic who deserves jail time.

    • NotSoSocialButterfly says:

      Yes. And good! I’m sick of his twitter lunacy.

    • Kitten says:

      It’s WOHL actually. And if you see his BS on Twitter, you know exactly what kind of a nutjob he is. Not just a nutjob, but a total dumbass apparently. Having calls diverted to your mom’s voicemail? LOLs.

      This kid is just like his dad and just like Trump: a bunch of stupid crooks.

  2. Swack says:

    And another result of Trump’s rhetoric. I hope Mueller has good security.

  3. OriginalLala says:

    my god these clowns will stop at nothing. Stay strong and vote blue America!

    • ...otaku fairy says:

      There really doesn’t seem to be much of a limit with them. It’s kind of funny but twisted that the hivemind that screams the loudest about men being in danger of false allegations from delusional, manipulative, attention-seeking women gets caught trying to pay women to falsely accuse a male political opponent of sex crimes. It’s not all that shocking after Lindsey Graham’s sociopathic temper tantrum in response to Kavanaugh’s victims coming forward, though.

  4. Sandy says:

    The sad thing is, as we saw with Kavanagh, it appears that it makes zero difference if you actually assaulted a woman. Im sure in this case they would have torn him apart, unlike that shitweasel Kavanagh who was APOLOGIZED to 😭

    • Esmom says:

      Exactly. Similar to Al Franken being torn apart and forced to resign for allegations far less serious than many GOPers are facing with zero repercussions. There are so many but Jim Jordan is one that particularly enrages me.

      • Kitten says:

        I’m still so f*cking salty about Franken.

      • Ye says:

        It hurts to even think about Franken.

      • bros says:

        well, this is what happens when a movement becomes weaponized. it gets used as a weapon. The dems thought if they threw franken into the sacrificial fire, they would amass cosmic debt that they could call in later, such as in the case of Kavanaugh. Except the GOP is not playing by a rule book that has any moral underpinnings and the dems keep getting outwitted because the party of choir boys turns out to be not such a great match for the party of boys who will drink their enemies’ blood from a skull. also why we need a way more nuanced way of dealing with all the various iterations of bad male behavior. Franken should never have resigned for his ‘sins’ because there’s a whole rainbow of bad behavior and no one size fits all punishment. And it got liberals no where and nothing.

      • Esmom says:

        Well said, bros. It was hard to witness the Franken thing unfolding because I just knew the GOP wouldn’t abide by the same rules.

      • Megan says:

        @Bros applying the same standards to everyone, even when it’s hard, isn’t weaponizing #MeToo, it’s building a legitimate movement to end sexual harassment and assault.

      • Esmom says:

        Megan, I took bros comment about “weaponizing” as referring to the Rs, who essentially weaponized it to destroy Franken while refusing to be accountable for their own criminal behavior.

    • boredblond says:

      If the FBI bows to the right’s wishes, as they did re kavanaugh, we’re better off turning investigations over to Nancy Drew. I don’t know why all these right wing conspiracy idiots aren’t being investigated..their lies have had real consequences.

  5. Lightpurple says:

    What’s even funnier is that this all went down on Twitter. Wohl’s a spammer who has been retweeted by the orange dotard about a dozen times. He started bragging on Twitter that he had shocking news on Mueller that was about to break and the Krassensteins and others responded. It was fascinating to watch.

    • Esmom says:

      It was fascinating. Did you see the fake profiles of Surefire employees, including Jacob himself posing as a principal in the company?

      What no one seemed to address is if the Mueller investigation is a witch hunt, why the need to discredit him? What a bunch of dumbasses. I hope he faces repercussions but I’m not holding my breath.

    • KidV says:

      It was a very entertaining afternoon. Every piece of information popping up had me LMAO.

      What I liked best is that Mueller notified the FBI a week ago when he first heard about this. That’s what an innocent man does, he doesn’t try and cover it up or pay off people or go on Twitter calling it fake news.

    • The Other Katherine says:

      Watching the Twitter commentary unfold yesterday was the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time, and it made the past week a little less unbearable. Popehat had some especially good zingers. Seriously, I laughed so hard over all this that I had tears standing in my eyes.

      I expected Trumpites to try to smear Mueller (and am surprised it took this long). I just didn’t expect it to all be quite so stupidly incompetent.

  6. Tanguerita says:

    The level of stupidity is staggering though. This dumb twat used the pictures of Christopher Walz and Bar Rafaeli for his Surefire intelligence site. And his mother’s phone. HIS MOM’S PHONE. Intelligence and Wohl – it’s like a living breathing oxymoron.

  7. marmalazed says:

    Please let’s remember that a predator cannot be judged by how they present themselves. This is obviously a smear job but the way Robert Mueller looks, whether it’s like a cop you would want on your side, is irrelevant.

    • Va Va Kaboom says:

      I’m glad you pointed that out. As I read this I kept thinking that the only reason its so obviously false is because the woman revealed the hoax plan and the people pushing the rumors were blatantly shady. Had the situation been different then this immediate dismissal because Mueller has “the face of a trustworthy cop” would be unconscionable.

      “Believing what we want to believe” is unfortunately a common trait for all of us. Truthfully, we want Mueller to be an honorable person who’ll take down Trump and his administration. But the fact is most hadn’t ever heard of Robert Mueller a year ago. Since then we only really know his C.V. and what people who know him are willing to share. From that he certainly sounds like a good person, but then again, so do a lot of predators.

      • AnneC says:

        It’s not just his face he is actually extremely respected in Washington and has worked for republican and democratic administrations. Repubs now trying to bring him down because they know he’s going to find incredible dirt on trump. Fingers crossed we get some great Christmas presents from him.

  8. Eric says:

    That was a beauty of a story yesterday! Those clowns Wohl and Burkman got owned and now they face prosecution for at least three crimes.

    In addition, Steve Bannon showed up in Topeka KS to stump for a “republican” and 17 people showed up. Bwahaha!

    Last gem is that Pence’s “Christian Rabbi” was defrocked 15 years ago.

    It’s like the entire administration is fake (and desperate as hell).

    Bonus point for being racist as hell: there’s a GOP flyer making the circuit which shows a digitally-enhanced “Jew” holding American dollars. Dr Goebbels? Paging Dr Goebbels? Please pick up the white (only) courtesy phone.

    • me46 says:

      Eric,
      And Kanye turned on -45 yesterday saying “he was used”.

      • Tanguerita says:

        Not sure about Trump – I think he was talking about Candice Owens, but anything to not have to see his stupid visage and listen to his stupid ramblings again.

      • Eric says:

        Jacob’s autobiography will be titled:

        “Catch Me Before You Can”

      • Raven says:

        No he didn’t he called TMZ to say he still supports Trump and his tweets have nothing to do with him.

  9. Rocio says:

    Bob Mueller always reminds me of Fred Gwynne.

    Wohl/Burkman better start prepping for jail. Their momma’s won’t be able to help them, that’s for sure.

  10. Snowflake says:

    Wow, this is crazy. And the right wing went around saying that the temple bomber was a pawn used by Democrats and not an actual trump supporter. So evidently they accuse others of what they do, just like Trump

    • whatWHAT? says:

      “So evidently they accuse others of what they do, just like Trump”

      pardon my snark, but where have you been?…lol. it’s their standard modus operandi. it’s the old “look over there while I rob you blind” strategy.

    • Veronica S. says:

      Projection is a remarkable psychological phenomenon, isn’t it?

  11. Adrien says:

    Jacob Wohl is only 20. He belongs to a generation that should be adept at photoshopping and Google reverse image. I guess he thinks his followers are too hillbilly to recognize Bar Rafaeli and Christophe Waltz. He knows they are too stupid they would lap up whatever he throws. I mean at what point are you going to be suspicious at his stories about him overhearing stuff at hipster coffee shops when he told that kind of scenario several times before. Even the dumbest tv drama won’t use the same plotline twice. He should rename his agency Surejan Intelligence.

    • Esmom says:

      Lol at Surejan. I didn’t know much about him before yesterday other than he seemed to be a crazy sycophant who was always one of the first to respond to Trump’s tweets. I didn’t realize he already has a criminal history. He’s like a young Trump.

    • whatWHAT? says:

      “Surejan Intelligence”

      *DEAD*.

      thank you for that.

      • Olenna says:

        Dead, too! I so needed that the laughs I’ve gotten from this story, that I’m almost thankful that this dumbshit and his partner in crime tried to pull this mess off.

    • Lightpurple says:

      Donald Trump is one of his followers. Retweets him frequently.

  12. Incredulous says:

    That story had me howling. I particularly liked his dumb, made up story on surefire that he wrote badly plus putting his name on the website plus, actually I just loved the whole thing from start to please be on-going? Watching the entire internet dunking on that cretin was glorious.

  13. Cay says:

    What is most depressing to me about this story is how little respect the Republican/Trump supporters have about sexual assault victims. They think they are all being paid to say they are victims. Depressing.

  14. Insomniac says:

    Oh, I’m SO glad you guys covered this! It was nice to read Twitter last night and be in tears of laughter rather than devastation for a change.

    This whole thing sounds like Stupid Inception. I have no idea what the hell Wohl and Burkman even thought they were going to achieve with this mess, but my favorite Twitter summary was: “This is like the first ten minutes of every ‘Terminator’ movie when a human punches the robot and breaks their hand.”

  15. Meeee says:

    The take-down of this tool, on Twitter, was glorious! I was laughing my a** off!

  16. isabelle says:

    Muller took down the Gambino crime family, the entire freaking crime family. A FBI head for 10 plus years. Yet mammas boy thought he could do it through Twitter. Trumps base is truly cuckoo.

  17. isadora says:

    Even though i knew a little bit about what kind of an asshole he was the whole scheme thing uncovered quite a few other things as well:

    - Jacob dipshit somehow thought he could get away like he’d seen “catch me if you can ” and Wolf of Wallstreet” too many times. Dude you couldn’t get your way out of a paper bag.

    - Can we also shine a spotlight on Dave Wohl, Jacob’s idiot dad who also not surprising is a big Drumpf supporter.

    - While he’s blacklisted to be working as a trader that didn’t stop him to try and blag his way with a bank to start making demands. They were onto him and reported to the proper authorities but no charges were pressed.
    Here’s the whole story:
    https://mobile.twitter.com/keysersozebro1

    - He was so stupid to use his name in the domain name and his mom’s phonenumber to easy be linked back to him. He has a number of registered websites to which we can deduce the following: laughably and proudly thinking he was smart to concoct some get rich schemes but failing (much like his loser hero Drumpf ). And probably not that of a success with the ladies. Every bit of an incel he’s quite hung up on that. In addition to using models like Bar Rafeli for his “misfire not-so-intelligence agency” he used pictures of girls /women from instagram for one of his other websites wohlgirls.com and he named a website after a Colombian porno actress (melanie Rios).
    https://mobile.twitter.com/patbennettaz/status/1057511260118544384?p=v

    Yeah whatever the GOP was in the past it’s a party of grifters, heartless cowards, sexual predators and lots of stupidity now.

    • Fluffy Princess says:

      Wow, there’s an extra load of stupid in that family. Good links.
      Also, let’s add misogynists and racists to your list of GOP traits.

    • Erinn says:

      He was too stupid to pay for privacy on the domain names? My god. I can’t believe it took this line for someone to figure it out if that’s the case!

      PS: Anyone buying domain names, always get the privacy feature. Otherwise anyone can check the contact details for the domain and get things like name, phone, address… it’s worth the extra cost.

  18. isadora says:

    Just one more thing: They claimed that Mueller assaulted a woman in a New York hotel on august 2, 2010 but missed the fact that Mueller was doing jury duties in Washington DC.
    https://www.snopes.com/news/2018/10/30/comically-flawed-attempt-smear-robert-mueller-explained/

    Facts matter folks. Don’t give them any room to perpuate more lies in this world.