I’m wary of treating the “collaborators” the same as the perpetrators. We saw that over and over with Harvey Weinstein, where people acted like the people who worked with Weinstein were somehow “just as bad” as Weinstein. Same with Woody Allen – I’ve always maintained that many people didn’t know the extent of the accusations against Woody, and that a mere statement against him should be sufficient in most cases. So it is with R. Kelly as well – there were so many people who truly didn’t know the extent of his monstrous, predatory and criminal behavior. I only sat down and read about his disgusting behavior back in 2013, when a journalist who had been tracking R.Kelly’s crimes for years wrote a long-read piece. That was the same year that Lady Gaga collaborated with R. Kelly on “Do What U Want,” and she also defended him publicly, telling journalists:
“R. Kelly and I have sometimes very untrue things written about us, so in a way this was a bond between us. That we were able to say, the public, they can have our bodies, but they cannot have our mind or our heart. It was a really natural collaboration.”
Yeah. As I said, this was being written about and discussed extensively back in 2013. In that year, there was a public movement to cancel R. Kelly, to kick him off the airwaves, to ensure that all women/people knew about his monstrous crimes. Then I guess people forgot, or they weren’t paying attention back then, because Lifetime’s Surviving R. Kelly special arrived in 2019 like a hurricane, with new details, new victim accounts and a new movement to #MuteRKelly. Considering that Lady Gaga is in the midst of a massive Oscar campaign and she’s trying to get attention for all the right reasons, she really didn’t want her old collab with R. Kelly to come back to haunt her. But it already has – there were pop culture critics and journalists asking aloud,”Why hasn’t Gaga said anything about R. Kelly?” Well, she did. Finally:
I stand by anyone who has ever been the victim of sexual assault: pic.twitter.com/67sz4WpV3i
— Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) January 10, 2019
I completely buy that Gaga had yet to fully process her sexual assault and I completely buy that victims will often have very messy journeys towards reconciling what happened to them. The only thing that bugs me a little bit is that… Gaga got sh-t back in 2013 for working with R. Kelly because, as I said, this whole thing was a huge conversation back then too. It feels too cute by half for Gaga to basically claim that she’s only heard about R. Kelly’s crimes now. That being said, what I said at the beginning still holds too – stop blaming women for the crimes committed by men. Gaga’s collaboration with R. Kelly doesn’t make her “just as bad” as him.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
I obviously don’t think she is as bad as him, but I do think she is being disingenuous in acting like she only found out about his actions now. Just admit you knew and you didn’t really give a toss at the time, and regret it now.
Also, while I don’t hold collaborators in the same category as assaulters – people who work with men like Kelly and Allen do help them make more more more money/have long and illustrious careers/consolidate their power and influence – they should, therefore, be held 100% accountable in their support of child molesters.
Disingenuous is exactly the word I was thinking. If she weren’t in the running for an Oscar, we wouldn’t have had this statement. That said, I’m glad she is saying something. She could have ignored it like the rest of his collaborators. It’s a brave move in its own hypocritical way and I’ll settle for it because I have to. Whatever it takes to be rid of R. Kelly.
Still, doing a song called Do what you want with my body with TWO widely accused sexual predators, close to the height of her fame… there was no other intent than to send an f-u to their many victims and help them ride it out, and she had to have understood that then. She needs a better explanation before that crap is forgiven.
This apology is so gross. She is using her trauma as an excuse to ignore others’ trauma. She worked with R Kelly because it was good for her career. She should just own it. As for her “younger self,” 2013 was a little over five years ago. It’s not like she worked with him when she was 18.
All I hear in that statement is: “Me, ME, ME, ME.”
I agree with you Megan. I feel like the statement is disingenuous because it just sounds like she’s using her trauma to distract and excuse. “But it happened to me, too, so what I did shouldn’t be held against me.” I understand and agree that healing from sexual assault is a long and difficult road, and no one should be criticized for the way the walk, and sometimes stumble, down it. But the entire tone of her statement just sounds like she’s using it as an excuse.
exactly – i’m the same age as gaga and remember hearing about his tape with the underage girl in middle school!
and then she wound up in the music business and wants to act like she didn’t know anything? if people who just follow music gossip knew what r. kelly was all about, people in the industry have got to know more.
she KNEW she just didn’t CARE
@Kateeee Honestly I think her doing a song called Do what you want with my body with a sexual predator really does show just how messed up her mindset was. I don’t think it was an intentional f you in any way, but more of a twisted way of her claiming her body/power back. I think in her mind she was just trying to justify what had happened to her, as if she had given her assailant permission. I’m sure her mind was in a very dark place. I know that dark place and I wish I could explain more eloquently how it feels/ convey what I think she was feeling. Hopefully people get the gist of what I’m saying. I like to think that she would release a statement like this even if she wasn’t trying to get an Oscar since the documentary came out, but who knows.
I’m sorry you know what it’s like to be in that mind set. I think people have a very hard time understanding what trauma brain is like. Sometimes you end up doing and believing things that are the exact opposite of how people assume someone would react. I think you explained where she was probably coming from very well. I can understand why she would want to leave it at twisted thinking and not go in depth. It’s difficult to explain and sometimes the way you dealt with things can feel almost as traumatic as the trauma itself.
@ Its Ok, Thank you. Reading her apology, I feel like I can relate. I went dark, did drugs and emboldened my sexuality. I owned it and wanted it because I wanted to feel like I had control. I just ended up hurting myself further and it takes a lot to come back from that. Something happens to the brain where it’s almost as if you have split personality. It was as if a new person had taken over my mind and body and I had to fight to regain control and become my normal self again. She should have never worked with him, she shouldn’t have dismissed peoples reactions and she shouldn’t have waited so long to apologize, but apologizing meant she had to come face to face with who she had become then. She also has to deal with people interpreting her apology a thousand different ways. It’s hard. Honestly the whole album of ArtPop has these dark undertones. She definitely was not her best self when she made that album. It’s no wonder it’s her worst work.
I complete agree with you @Person3514. People who suffer trauma often behave in strange ways when they are trying to push down the pain, or process what happened to them. We see victims stick by their abusers, stand up for the accused and even blame other victims because they are still deeply rooted in their own trauma. As a survivor of sexual assault, I can honestly say that it has taken most of my adult life to finally process what happened to me as a child. I said and did the most ridiculous and horrifying things in those years, things that I am deeply ashamed of but it was part of my process (and part of many victims process). What Gaga wrote resonates with me, and sounds like someone who is finally on the other side of her trauma. There is a lot of clarity that comes with that, and I fully support this.
You are so completely right about it being disingenuous. She’s only apologizing because it’s threatening her Oscar campaign. She’s had 5+ years to come to terms with that decision but only because people have been hounding her during her very public Oscar campaign does she realize how much of a mistake that was? Yeah, right. On the latest string of apologies the only one that rang true to me was that of Chance the rapper. People actually tried to make excuses on his behalf but he just truthfully said that just because he has black women in his personal life doesn’t mean he hasn’t devalued black women in general. Finally someone who doesn’t use the “I have a black mother/sister/partner/daughter so I couldn’t possibly be a misogynist”-excuse.
Agree. If I (a Midwest girl coming of age in the 90s/00s) knew, I find it VERY hard to believe people in the industry after that didn’t know. People at a bare minimum heard rumors, and they are much closer to people who can tell them the truth about the matter than the general public.
Be real, be shamed, do better. That is real growth and how things like this won’t happened again.
Disingenuous indeed.
This isn’t some YouTube video that she made in her basement. Many, many people signed off on the song, the concept, the video, the promo. So multiple people chose to ignore the information out there that is very well known about R Kelly. There is no excuse, this is an utter failure. Gaga herself talked about both she and R Kelly being the victims of lies. She knew, she just didn’t care.
Her Born This Way tour sold pretty well, but was plagued by rumors and Gaga’s reputation was already waning at this point. She chose this song as a deliberate attempt at being provocative and sexy and to make herself seem edgy. And at this point she was a very seasoned professional. The reality is, she still wouldn’t say a word if she didn’t have Oscar hopes. She may not be responsible for R Kelly’s crimes, but she DID try to capitalize off of the collaboration to seem edgy and sexy. This was so egregiously bad and she has so thoroughly ignored all of the very valid criticism up until this point that I think she deserves the hammering. Seriously, she MADE A SONG TO GO ALONG WITH A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT SEXUAL ASSAULT and still didn’t say a word.
I appreciate that she’s removing their song from her catalogue. Like her or not, her statement is an important one. Look at what she says about the title of the song.
Oh please. Her statement is a self-serving one. Speaking up during awards season is not caring about other victims, it’s a CYA move, because she wants awards.
Where’s the damn “like” button? Agree 1000%!
She defended him back in 2013 saying something like the press writes untrue things about us and I feel connected to him.
She also says “my younger self” this was 4 years ago and she was 27. A grown adult. I’m sure she realises how f*cked up was what she did but she wanted to do it back then for the shock value and that’s what she got.
Six years ago
Not to defend Gaga, but I am a completely different person than I was in 2013. I went through some bad personal stuff in 2013 that I didn’t deal with at all, then had my entire world collapse in 2016. Therapy, better communication skills, learning not to use alcohol as a crutch to self-medicate, a lot of self-reflection, a period of time on Zoloft, etc. has completely changed me as a person for the better. Gaga’s apology could have been less heavy-handed on the “explaining” part and probably cut down to like one paragraph, but I believe her when she says she’s grown up a lot and I hope she does not prove me wrong.
In addition, 2013 was a shit year for her. She nearly needed a full hip replacement coming off the Born this Way Tour-arguably the peak of her career. She was wacked out on pain killers, disappeared for a few months (I’ve always held it was for rehab), had that issue with Perez, and came back with ArtPop which is a terrible album. While she signed the bottom line on her collaboration for sure, I’ve always felt like something else happened at that time. It was such a bizarre year for her.
I think most of us would admit that we’ve changed and grown in the last 6 years–I know I have. But how many of us made the decision-6 years ago-to work with a KNOWN child molester and rapist?
I mean…good that she’s grown but I’m not trying to hear ANY excuses about working with a child predator when she absolutely KNEW how disgusting this man was. EVERYBODY knew about it back then.
If you’re trying to brush off mistakes made when you’re 27 as the folly of youth, you deserve the criticism you get. 27 is old enough to know better, even if you still made some bad decisions.
Agreeing with Kitten and if you want to know what was already known before their collaboration just read Hecate’s post today about R. Kelly.
If any of what she said was true she would’ve been in the doc when asked or removed the song before the doc happened and she caught backlash during award season. I’m really blown that an adult woman has to grow out of working with a known pedophile, but sure. What’s crazy is RKelly wasn’t even a hitmaker at that time. The Dream was the biggest R&B/Pop writer then. It wasn’t even a smart business move. Yeah, she’s full of it.
I believe she’s sorry, but the way the statement is written is odd. She does say “hearing” as though these allegations are coming to her attention for the first time. But she also talks about her “twisted ” mindset at the time, which is maybe an admission she knew and chose to ignore it? It’s unclear, perhaps deliberately so…
I think she was trying to explain her mindset as a victim of sexual assault herself that did not receive proper therapy and thus, did things without logic or reason. I used to work with sexual assault survivors and each one dealt with their trauma differently, the ones that had a more difficult time and usually without proper therapy — can have it manifested in a downward spiral — drugs, becoming hyper-sexual to ‘normalized’ what happened to them as part of denial etc.
I can accept that she as a victim that was not making the best choices back then to work with him and that she’s not at fault like he is. I hope she will prove it and also apologize for working with Terry Richardson too. Bad timing right now re her Oscar campaign though but it’s no win situation with her.
I totally agree that’s what is coming across, and I believe it’s true. But I think it’s interesting how she’s stopping short of saying, “Yes, I knew, and I worked with him anyway” by making it sound, early in the statement, like the allegations are new information.
It is a no-win situation for her, I agree. But I think she’s trying to obfuscate just a little.
I agree, AI
I’m sure she knew about the allegations before she worked with him, everyone knew. But that being said, it’s a good apology and I don’t think they are just words, I think she truly means it. I’m glad she has gotten help for her trauma and hope she continues to be a voice for victims.
And I’m sure this has absolutely nothing to do with the Oscar nominations being announced in about a week.
R Kelly was poison on 2013 and everyone knew it. Working with a sexual predator (and I assume we’ll be hearing an apology for working with Terry Richardson too, then??) and exclaiming it as “provocative” and ignoring abuse claims until it might actually cost you an award is a bad look and sorry, her apology comes off as false and self serving.
EXACTLY!
+1
Yes!! R. Kelly was 100% poison to work with in 2013 and everyone knew that.
How “unfortunate” that she had to have her rebellious moment all over the hearts and minds of those black girls.
yes! Terry shot the single cover, didn’t he? i remember it was just a photo of her butt.
the whole thing was seedy and gross
First. No, she doesn’t deserve shit for some else’s crimes. I also believe that most of people like the celebrities working will Allen did not and still may not know much about the whole situation, but then just say that, whether Gaga back in 2013 chose to say that what is being said about both of them is a lie. How do you know it’s a lie if you claim that you do not know the situation. Also. Did she really need to refer back to her own experience? Sounds a bit like “don’t give me shit about sexual assault, because I went though that too”. I was never sexually assaulted but I still do believe women and firmly believe that no woman would make that shit up because there is nothing that can be gained from such fabrications. Why then not give your platform to these victims. I do appreciate her talking about her experience, but it is not only about you and your experience.
Was she living under a rock? I live in Europe, didn’t know anything about R. Kelly’s music (except I believe I can fly) and was well aware in 2013. that he was acused of molestation of a minor. Come
on, I mean, Macklemore had a line about kelly in Trift shop, and that was 6 years ago too.
There is google these days. Don’t tell me that Lady Gaga, a global pop star doesn’t have a team of PR experts who don’t google every person she decides to collaborate with??
And it took so long to say something?
No, sorry, I don’t buy it.
I live in a third world country and have nothing to do with the entertaiment industry. If I heard about R. Kelly, Weinstein, Allen and many other’s abusive behaviour in HW, I really doubt that people that are IN the industry don’t have the knowlegement of their actions. But it’s just my opinion.
This Awards Campaign so far:
– Kevin Hart situation,
– “Bohemian Rhapsody” was directed by alleged rapist and pedophile Bryan Singer, who is proud of his work, while the cast pretends he doesn’t exist,
-“Green Book” was directed by Peter Farrelly who used to flash his dick on the set cause he thought it was funny, the movie stars Mortensen who said “N-word” while promoting this movie and the movie also has a writer who is a Trump supporter and racist,
– Lady Gaga and R.Kelly debacle.
Yeah, yikes. Seems pretty fitting for the dumpster fire that was 2018, sigh.
Sigh, and here I thought 2019 *might* be a little bit better…
I feel like Jada over here. What am I missing? THE TAPE existed and was widely known about in 2013, I imagine especially in the music industry. Why in the world did ANYONE work with him after that? Especially Lady Gaga who was already a super star? Looking at Jay Z too.
She said it herself to be “defiant” and “provocative”. The video was disgusting and I’m glad it was never released.
Jay Z deserves serious $&@! for that massive tour he did with R Kelly, and yet no one says a word.
I think the complicating factor with Lady Gaga was her activism. I mean, obviously Jay Z and Justin Bieber (and many others) deserve the same scrutiny and side eye as her, (Jay Z probably even more so given his business connections), but as she has positioned herself as a supporter and activist against sexual assault (remember her Oscar nominated song) the hypocrisy was particularly noticeable.
No one is perfect. Everyone has reasons. I’m not going to every “cancel” anyone permently except the perpetrators. Everyone else needs to do better going forward. In this case? A LOT better.
Oh and I better not see her doing more photo shoots with Terry Richardson. 😒
I think it’s because she’s female.
I’m in agreement – it seems a little worse for her because of her activism AND because she’s a woman.
I can’t believe she didn’t know. Everybody knew. I’m glad she said something now, though it’s self serving with awards season, at least she said SOMETHING. But definitely she needs to do much, much better in the future, as do others who knew and still worked with him.
I disagree, I don’t think it’s just because she’s a woman. I think it has more to do with the fact that she’s more visible at the moment because of her film and awards campaigning, so there have been more opportunities for people to interview her and for her to speak out.
I also think it’s because her collaboration with him has been one of the most recent and most popular ones (at least in the controversial sense) and because the subject matter of her song and video with R. Kelly (and another well known “alleged” abuser, Terry Richardson) was so problematically sexual in nature, in a way that many were triggered by and drew parallels with the subjects and language of abuse.
That being said, of course as women, we are usually socially held to a higher standard of accountability, but I don’t think her gender is the only factor for why she’s being called out for her complicity here.
One of these days, I want one of these celebs to just admit that they knew about the allegations but that they cared more about the fame/acknowledgement than the victims. And apologize for that. I guess it’s good that she apologized but let’s not act like she didn’t know and she didn’t defend him when the song was out. She knew but she just didn’t care at the time. Just like she knew about Terry Tichardson and also didn’t care about that either.
Anyways, I’m waiting for Jay Z to say something about this. Or is he worried if he starts talking, his skeletons will start coming out of the closet?
I agree it would be very interesting to hear what Jay-Z has to say, specially since one of his friends admitted to not wanting to collaborate with him and R.Kelly because of what he knew about him at the time, which really puts doubts in my mind that Jay-Z did not know. Jay-Z has way more clout than Gaga and a lot of other people in the the music industry, and from a cultural standpoint it would be interesting to hear what he says from a black male’s POV.
She will have to proactively prove her sincerity by demonstrating from now on how to help victims because everyone knew back in 2013 that he was a hard NO. I will believe her when she also apologize for working with Terry Richardson.
I think what makes her apology ring true (although we know she didn’t want to do this now in mid-campaign for Oscar etc.) was that she was not processing her own sexual assault in a healthy way. I used to volunteer at a rape crisis center and worked with survivors of sexual assault, the road to recovery varies depending on the person. So I can believe that she truly was a mess back in 2013 and wasn’t not thinking logically or listening to anyone that tried to tell her not to work with him and Terry Richardson.
There was a trial. There was a tape where R. Kelly is filmed URINATING on a 14 year old girl. I don’t get what is there to process. The trial was BEFORE 2013. 2013. is the year it reached mainstream, but to claim that in music industry you didn’t know is just totally unbelievable.
You can be a victim of sexual assault and still perpetuate and support misogyny. One does not cancel the other.
And I have to admit, ‘m not sure the reaction of public, mainstream media and consecutively stars/celebrities would be so late and so…tame, if the victims weren’t WOC.
There was a trial and he was acquitted, the girl in the video denied it was her. It’s outrageous but it’s what happened. I assume there was a lot of pay offs or something. Even though he was acquitted it seems like no one thought he deserved to be. Hopefully he will be arrested again and finally get some kind of punishment for his years of despicable crimes against women of colour.
I hear you but do you think anyone in her circle was telling her not to work with them? if anything I’d think they’d be encouraging her. And she was perhaps not in a frame of mind to be able to walk away.
Do you or I need someone to tell us to not work with a sexual predator? Serial molester? I don’t need and never ever needed “to mature/grow up” to know that sexual abuse of a child is deplorable. To me, a 14year old (or 16, I don’t remember) is a child.
Aaliyah was 15 when he MARRIED her-he was 27. Do you think that really wasn’t known to her, considering that is a public information, well known in mainstream media for years. Like, earlier than 2013.
What I’m trying to say is: how is a pop star’s moral responsibility different than yours or mine? Just because she’s a pop star, it doesn’t excuse her or makes her exempt from basic moral code.
geekychick, No arguments here. I was just commenting on her “circle” because unlike us regular folks, pop stars are likely highly influenced by those closest to them, often for reasons related only to financial gain. It doesn’t make it right and of course she should know better.
Is she as bad as him of course not, but she knew what R. Kelly did and continued to do to not just women but underage girls. Everybody knew but because his victims were young black women people exused his behavior because he can “SING”! Should she or anybody who works with known molesters, rapist and abusers be held accountable, YES. Why because if you support and praise these people you are complicent of their actions. Should you punished to the degree of which these horrible monsters deserve to be of course not. I too am a survivor of molestation and rape that my own mother knew about and falicited, she and everyone who knew and did nothing to stop it are horrible people not just the molesters and rapist. So I don’t have any sympathy for anyone who knowingly works with these people, I don’t care if it cost them their career as some may say, because if that is what it took for me to be famous and rich than I would rather not be.
I agree. I’m tired of the excuses. No, enablers are not the same as rapists, but they ENABLE them. They perpetuate and support the cycle of abuse. By collaborating with him and defending him, she gave “a push” to his celebrity and fame (Kelly didn’t have any major hit or anything at the time)-enabling him to collect more victims.
I’m tired of “it’s not all black and white”. It is. If you know how to google, and you still work with someone who molests and rapes young girls, there is no excuse for you. With the direction this society (as a whole) is going, with all the trivialization of crimes, especially against children and women, we’re going to be apologizing to molesters soon.
All these celebrities get on my nerves the way they jump on bandwagons when they feel it will benefit them. Gaga is so annoying with her pretentiousness and hunger to be relevant. 2013 and she is acting as if she just found out that R.Kelley had a sickness.
It’s likely that Gaga would have been forced to work with R. Kelly had she initially refused. TPTB are always in control except maybe, sometimes, with certain celebrities in certain situations.
That said, I don’t think Gaga would have refused back in 2013. Only good explanation would be as mentioned above: she wasn’t processing her own abuse in a healthy way.
I also remember she went through a pretty obvious though undisclosed-private drug meltdown that she never fully acknowledged publicly.
I read that her and many other artist declined to be interview for the documentary which is kind of a shame, she could have used that to explain herself and bring more attention to his crimes
There is an incredible story that Beyonce’s father tells, about protecting the girls from R Kelly. Apparently R Kelly made several requests to record with Destinys Child, however Matthew Knowles refused to let them even be in a studio with R Kelly.
I read that too, good on him. He said that Tina Knowles would even go to the bathroom with the girls when they were in studios and what not.
I find the statement that Aaliyah’s mom released very strange. She said Aliyah was never alone with older men and her parents were obviously around. That’s obviously not true, we’ve all seen the marriage certificate. Aaliyah was alone with him than, no parents around. It’s all so sad
Much respect for Matthew Knowles for doing that. He was not only protecting his child, but other people’s children by doing so.
So, it’s definitely late, but I appreciate that she finally spoke up clearly and completely, and removing the songs is actual concrete action that come at a (literal) cost to her, which is more than most celeb apologies bring.
One of the reasons why people are calling out R. Kelly’s former collaborators, women AND men, is because the stories about him have been circulating for a long time and people still chose to work with him. And I think, as has been pointed out by another poster here, that she in particular has been singled out because she has fashioned herself as an activist and has been so publicly supportive of other sexual assault survivors. So it seemed incongruous for her to remain silent until people called out her silence.
I don’t believe that she didn’t know about his behavior. I am now 44 and was around 21 when I first heard about his 26/27 year old ass trying to marry Aliyah, when she was 15. He did this repeatedly until he succeeded so I knew something was off with him before I had heard about his particularly degrading rape of a minor that had videotaped evidence. I heard about this in Canada when gossip blogs didn’t exist, so how did all of these people working in the music industry not hear??? It was even referenced in a skit in Chappelle’s show which treated it like a joke, and people are out here protesting that they didn’t know anything???
Many people, including Jim DeRogatis, a white reporter who has covered R. Kelly since his trial, have been saying that this has been allowed to go on for so long because his victims were largely Black girls and women, and overall people do not care about Black girls and women. People knew he preyed on underage girls. The stories about his “slave houses” were circulating perhaps a year in advance of this series. That’s all that this is, plain and simple. This women were from a demographic who does not have a lot of power, everyday Black women and girls without fame. I think that is why Gaga remained silent and first dismissed the claims so easily. It’s too cute by half for her to claim that she was processing her assault and that’s why she did not give creedence to the stories about him and is only speaking out now in the middle of her Oscar campaign. Please.
I worked in the Chicago music industry on the pop side and heard about R. Kelly perv ways. There were rumours that Kenwood Academy in Hyde Park was one of his hang outs. Google why his female manager cut ties with him.
While I agree that women should not be held responsible for the deeds of perpetrators they should be held responsible for their own complicity. It’s great that Gaga acknowledges that it was a mistake to work with him and I can completely believe that her own assault played a part in her thinking. What I take issue with – and this comes up again and again with white feminists – is the erasure of black sexual assault victims. Like so many others I think Gaga was able to shrug off and overlook the allegations because they weren’t white women. They were young black girls. Black women and girls again and again are not given our humanity. And this case highlights that from all angles.
You know, I am not sorry. She didn’t give a damn because the victims were black. Yeah, I said it.
She sure did not have a problem speaking up on Katy Perry working with Dr. Luke did she?
I don’t buy lady gaga I’m sorry now I think she is completely full of it she only saying I’m sorry to not hurt her chances at a Oscar. In 2013 lady gaga own fans told her about R.kelly she dismissed them and anyone who told her about R.kelly crimes to her she knew she just didn’t give a damn because all of his were black women and children. I find the excuses made for her ridiculously white woman love to play victims when they are called on something they did wrong whether its white tears or their age. At 27 years old lady gaga should have know better she went to bat for kesha when its came to Dr luke the only people who should be accepted lady gaga are black woman because we were the ones she dismissed with her actions.
There seems to be more than a little bit of cognitive dissonance in dismissing R. Kelly’s decades long allegations as “lies told about him”, then going on to defend Katy Perry, and not saying another word about R. Kelly until having been publicly and relentlessly dragged for it at a time where good publicity is of utmost importance to her.
She needs to ask herself why she saw Katy Perry as being more valuable than the scores of black girls R Kelly has been accused of victimizing.
Mmmhmmm all of this ^^
She’s only speaking out now because she wants the Oscar bad and she’s concerned the past press will affect her chances – she’s had a long time to say something about him, esp when she was on the Emmy stage with survivors for the documentary on college rapes.
Its a good move to take the song out of circulation as it robs him of residuals but I have little time for her now – fame has gone to her head and she thinks she’s the next Streisand, she’s not. She’s a great musician but not a great actress. Used to be a fan but not so much now.
True, except she’s also taking the long view because if she thinks she’s getting an Oscar for Best Actress at this point in time she’s delusional. Only way that would happen is in the Fix.
I have seen how trauma can make a person…the knife and the wound…we have seen it with Rose McGowan…we see it with Andrea, that POS R. Kelly’s ex-wife…and we have seen it in our own lives…
It is unfortunate that she dismissed the pain of the girls and women that I KNOW she knew of even when she collaborated with that POS Kelly…however, may my mind/body or soul…NEVER be corrupted…or violated to such an extent…that I can’t make the types of choices that are not compromising to my mind/body or soul…or the universe…
THAT is what violence can do to the victim…it can LITERALLY make you…complicit to the same violence that you withstood…
Gaga removing the heinous song from her catalog…speaks VOLUMES…because THAT takes money out of her pocket…because the song IS a staple in the Black community…along with the rest of that POS Kelly’s catalog…unfortunately…
And since ONLY money talks….there you go….
You articulated this so well and that was what I was trying to say along these lines that trauma can make a victim complicit. Doesn’t excuse her from her accountability but I can understand the situation.
I do respect her taking it out of her catalog that does speak volumes. And I do think her apology is genuine. But – I also feel that if the young girls and women has been white she wouldn’t have even considered working with him. Do I think Gaga is racist? No. But I do think implicit bias plays a role in the way people look at things. Specifically when it comes to black women and girls.
I don’t think she had the mental capacity to think of how her actions would be impacting anyone. In her mind, she was trying to ‘be in control’ of her trauma (of course in all the wrong way).
I think this is a wise and compassionate take on the situation.
Um, ok, GaGa. There’s always a reason with some people. It’s always someone or something else’s fault. Why can’t it just be your fault?
Thing is the rumors about R. Kelly have been around for SO LONG. I even heard about them in late elementary school/middle school, that’s how far back it goes. I didn’t know about the whole Aaliyah thing because I wasn’t paying attention to celebrity gossip back then but even in the schoolyard kids were saying like “R. Kelly is a pedophile like Michael Jackson he had sex with a young girl.” I barely knew who he was, just the singer of “I Believe I can Fly.” I always knew him to be a shady character, I just didn’t know the extent obviously until I researched him more as an adult.
Obviously Gaga is not at fault for his behavior but she can’t blame youth on the fact she chose to collaborate with him. We are almost the same age, 2013 was only five years ago. It’s not like she was 16 when they did that awful song (I remember seeing the live SNL performance and thinking the song was so bad and wondering why she was doing it with R. Kelly who had an established notorious shady past). This was obviously very poor judgment on her part and I’m sure this decision will haunt her for the rest of her life, especially because it is coinciding with an Oscar campaign. I’m glad she spoke up and apologized though I do have some issues with the wording. But I am not going to hold this against her for the rest of her life as she has already been outspoken about sexual violence against women. She will probably want to vet more closely anybody she collaborates with in the future.
…lol..she is so problematic..’do what you want with my body…lol…’ plus wasnt there a live performance of Mr President on an awards show with Kelly…it certainly made me go squeeee…also didnt she pay off a court case for non disclosure….fact..
I’ve heard a out these allegations way back when he was with that 14 year old girl a d wondered why even then nothing was done about him. Even if gaga only heard a couple of whispers a out him, she could have delved deeper into his history. And when they came out with that song, she did received a bunch of crap about it, but she didnt seem too phased by it. I’m not too phased about her and her apology tour now.
He was acquitted in court and the girl in the video denied it was her. Obviously someone tried to do something about it. I’d like to find out more about the trail, if he paid off the girl or her family, or the courts. Someone needs to investigate that too.
“I gaslighted all of his victims five years ago so I could remain relevant and I said as much in the press, I’m clearly stupid.” There Gaga i fixed your crappy apology and o don’t agree with the apologists sticking up for you. Not cancelled but not Oscar worthy either bye
Well said D.x
Yes
TERRY RICHARDSON. PERIOD. How’s she’s gotten a free pass for her long-time friendship and collaboration while pretending to be some kind of ally has been absurd to me for years. She’s gross, and she’s using her trauma as a shield against criticism as well as an excuse for her actions.
Exactly, where is her outrage over the allegations against people like Terry. Seems she, and others are fine with ignoring victim’s voices as long as their allegations have not had the support to gain due importance in the public eye. It just seems it’s always after the fact of being called out that some (not all) people, like Gaga, speak out. I guess sometime in the future, when Terry Richardson’s day finally comes, she can just copy paste this apology too.
There are so many slime bags in Hollywood and the music industry that if I banned everyone who at one time collaborated with them I would never watch TV, movies or listen to music again…. Everyone out there has probably knowingly, or unknowingly, worked with a dirtbag in their day. I can’t hate them forever or ban their works, especially if they issue an apology. These people are human too (not the dirtbags, but the collaborators!).
My unpopular opinion is that it’s terrible that people work with R. Kelly and I always roll my eyes when folks act like they knew nothing….and Gaga’s definitely guilty of white feminism..and they are all complicit.
But…I’m tired of the media window being moved from the perpetrator to women who worked with him and their complicity being treated in an almost hyperbolic manner. We see this repeated over and over with Polanski, Allen, Kelly, and Weinstein. It’s never about Jeff Bezos giving Woody Allen a deal, or Sony continuing to work with Polanski. I’ve heard almost as much about Gaga as the whole damn Lifetime documentary series. Gaga doing one song with him isn’t the reason he has a career, the record producers, radio stations, TV stations that play his MV—those are the folks that enable Kelley more than one collaboration.
Is she still complicit? Yes, but her complicity is at the low end compared to a lot of other folks who did a lot more than collaborate on one song. And I’m sure I’ll be yelled at for this, and I’m not saying it excuses her, but I remember my gossip from around that era and there was a lot of talk about how Gaga seemed barely coherent at times and as if she was hopped up on some drugs. So yeah, I can believe that she knew, but didn’t know the full extent, was in a dark place emotionally due to her own trauma, and was half-incapacitated because of drugs and therefore had really poor judgement. As she said in the apology, it was very twisted reasoning.
TDLR: I’m tired of our Black pain being glossed over and ignored, and I think if R. Kelly’s numerous victims were white we would have a different reaction. I also think Gaga’s complicit. But I’m also tired of how the media handles this sort of thing, and exaggerates women’s complicity while letting the true folks in power skate right on by.
TLDR pt. 2: And people keep looking at Foxy Brown, Nicki, Gaga, etc. for doing a track or two….and are mostly ignoring that Jay was far more powerful as he was a producer, owned a damn record label, etc. for several years before he collaborated with R. Kelly on their joint album and they did that “Innocent” track together. And at the time of his collaboration with R. Kelly, R. Kelly had already been charged and sometime during that collaboration Dame Dash supposedly told Jay about how R. Kelly abused Aaliyah.
IIRC Aaliyah refused point blank to talk about him in interviews – reporters were told not to bring up that marriage when interviewing her. I can’t remember the details of what he’s alleged to have done other than persuade her to falsify documents and lie about her age so they could get married.
He groomed her for a few years, got her pregnant at 15, and then married her. He was a flat out child predator. And while a lot of it was glossed over in the media, or spun as “they were in love and got married” (ugh, society has thankfully moved a long way from that sort of view)—she allegedly told Dame that he was a horrible man and didn’t really talk about it beyond that…but it was enough that Dame cut off ties even though he was in the middle of working with R. Kelly.
So yeah, Jay knew more than what the press said about Aaliyah and R. Kelly because of Dame. And R. Kelly had been charged/accused of predatory acts with others besides Aaliyah when Jay did an album and tour with him.
I’m not even a Gaga fan, but do think it’s kind of telling that a post dragging Gaga for her apology got more comments than the one about R. Kelly being under investigation.
The discussions on holding people accountable for their work with abusers – especially the rich and famous- are ultimately great things and potential tools for progress, because people being vocal about this draws more attention to the actions of the abusers and it encourages people to use the platforms they have to denounce them. The dragging she’s gotten for her video with and combined defense of R. Kelly has definitely been earned.
I’m still probably never going to do permanent ex-communications or cancellations of someone who’s worked with abusers, but then walks back those decisions years later.
There does seem to be sincerity in her apology in that she acknowledges that her thinking wasn’t right at the time and she made bad judgment, influenced by her own struggles with being lied on and abused as a woman. There has to be room for failure. Plus, I know that it’s common for many (not all) people to use this issue as an outlet for their own misogyny and vendettas, to feel moral superiority to those they dislike, while callously promoting abuse in their day-to-day lives and attempting to silence and control women and other marginalized people who speak out against abuse and inequality too. Honestly, this world seems so awful that it wouldn’t be surprising if almost every public figure- whether they’re a white woman, a woman of color, a man of color, or part of any other oppressed groups- has worked with or lined the pockets of AT LEAST one man who’s either a sexual predator, a wife/girlfriend-beater, or some other type of deplorable abuser because of the sheer number of men they’re working around and financially benefitting all over the world. It wouldn’t be surprising if rates of that were almost as high for private citizens too. I don’t think it makes us automatically responsible for what was done, and victim-blaming is #NotMyFeminism. But it’s good for people with huge platforms like these to be questioned about abusers working with them. #MuteRKelly
Id rather hear from someone like erikah badu who knew and worked with him, I’m sure she knew more about him than Gaga did. Badu was praising Kelly in 2013 saying he did more for black people than anybody else. Or jay z…Toni Braxton,
It still bothers me that after the facts that he married an underage girl (Aaliyah) and statutory r*ped another, that people still supported him and sang his praises.
Those were not allegations or rumours, but it still wasn’t enough for people to cancel him then.
This is not even one of those cases where you can argue to separate the artist from the art (which i always think is a bullshit argument). He’s been problematic and dangerous for a VERY long time and people in the industry knew that, it’s just that now a lot of them are feeling the preassure to defend the enabling behaviour they afforded him with their silence and collaborations and now feel they need to distance themselves.
It’s too late, the damage has been done, over aand over again….but i guess it still helps a bit they’re finally speaking out about it.
I wish it was more like the statement John Legend gave rather than a defensive one like this.
Maybe Gaga didn’t know the extent of this latest abusive behaviour, but there’s no way she didn’t know about his r*pe trials and the Aaliyah thing. Those things have long been facts…. I side-eye her as much as i do the people who still choose to work and praise Chris Brown (the latest enabling asshole to do that being Drake) eff these people for choosing to turn a blind eye on R.Kelly (and eff him too off course) for so long because they stood something to gain from collaborating with him.
The song and video were so, SO gross. I can appreciate she was dealing with a lot at the time, but still… I feel like the whole thing should have never happened. I’m a year older than Gaga. We knew R Kelly was a disgusting person well before 2013. I recall jokes/stories about him in high school and college, which was the early 2000s. I love some of her songs but my perspective of her as an intentional pariah remain intact.
And I still hope she doesn’t get the Oscar. If not becoming an EGOT is the punishment for this particular failure I’m ok with that.
Words from one of the documentary filmmakers…
“It was incredibly difficult to get people who had collaborated (artistically) with Kelly to come forward,” she told the Detroit Free Press. “We asked Lady Gaga. We asked Erykah Badu. We asked Celine Dion. We asked Jay-Z. We asked Dave Chappelle. (They’re) people who have been critical of him. That makes John Legend even more of a hero for me.”
I’ll address the Gaga mention now only because this thread is about her…
Once again she had the opportunity to come forward and not be complicit in her actions and be silent, and still she chose to protect herself over supporting the victims. She can’t deny she didn’t know at least by the point she was asked to appear on this. She still waits until she received overwhelming public pressure (the kind that could hinder her chances of winning upcoming awards ) to speak out, and now uses her trauma as an excuse.
She could have used this apology to speak out about Terry Richardson as well, who she’s collaborated on this song’s video with and other projects, but I guess the public outage she’s received for that has not been enough for her to call him out and distance herself from him. When will it be enough? Next award season?
this apology is bs
she was criticized widely ..ON THIS VERY SITE TOO, and doubled and tripled down to defend her song and the collaboration
She knew, she just didnt GAF. She doesnt GAF now but is trying to save face because people are finally out for blood with Kelly after the documentary dropped and her mediocre ass wants an Oscar
To hell with her
I have a question: Is it OK to listen to his music? I have a couple of his CDs. I really like his music but all of this is making me feel really guilty. Should I stop listening and get rid of the CDs?
Well that’s really a personal choice I guess. But given that we now know many of his hit songs are specifically about the rape and abuse of specific young girls…I don’t get how anyone could listen? This isn’t a case where someone is accused of something and the art is completely separate. There’s no reasonable doubt here, he sexually abused young girls and wrote songs about that. THAT is what many of the songs are about. It would be like if Roman Polanski made a movie about raping a 13 year old girl. So the fact that people are still listening (and buying!!!) knowing that? Well….. 🤢
The thirst and back peddling is strong with that one. She’s still not winning that Best Actress Oscar, lol. But she may be a lock for Best Song…..
as a gaga fan until 2013, i specifically remember writing her off for working with r.kelly. so her “i’m just hearing this now” malarkey is rich.
why didn’t she participate in the documentary?
what’s fed up is that there are still legions of r.kelly fans. south side of chicago summer 2018, convertible next to me **loudly* playing bump ‘n grind. like, full blast, no shame.
This was an issue at the time of the song’s release. She was widely criticised, and a version with Christina Aguilera was conveniently recorded so that they could perform on The Voice together. The music video was never released, and promotion of the song was quietly dropped. She knew. Absolutely.
A collaboration with R Kelly and a video by Terry Richardson, on a song about assault. Nobody will ever convince me that this wasn’t Gaga thinking she was being meta. She knew. She used her clout and celebrity to promote these abusers because she thought she was making a clever point. Working with them (and her comments about R Kelly being falsely accused) has to be contextualised in the context of what that did to the voices of the accusers, and what that said to vulnerable people about coming forward.I find that particularly upsetting because she acts like she cares about society’s marginalised.
She isn’t as bad as actual rapists, no, of course not. But that does not excuse her contributions to rape culture. It doesn’t make her actions or words acceptable. And this misguided awards-baity apology that skips over the key issues doesn’t improve matters.
I agree 100%, best take I’ve read about this so far.
Apology NOT accepted. I absolutely love her, but what she did was grooming, full stop. She wrote a song about how it is cool to let people assault you. There is absolutely no debate about that. Apology not accepted.
In 2002 the sex tape surfaced of him assaulting a 15 year old girl,. His sexual history has been in mainstream media for nearly 20 years since then. He is a famous rapist. People reference his offenses in songs and pop culture (as if it is a joke to sexually abuse young teenage girls).
She admits that there was some sick, twisted mentality towards specifically working with him, and specifically making that song. I completely relate and understand. When I was in the depth of my trauma I was a different person entirely. I feel deep shame and remorse for the things that I did when I was hurting. I do not blame myself for reacting the way that I did, but I do take responsibility for what those actions were, because they were wrong, simple as. Whatever her reasons, she clearly got the therapy she needed (good), but she also clearly has been aware of this mistake for a long time and has not attempted to correct HER mistake until now.
How many fans were influenced by HER standing by RK’s side? How many victims did she inspire to be silent, to take the blame, or to deny that anything wrong had even happened? Do What You Want is so dangerously rapey. It is grooming listeners to think it is okay and fun to let someone else do things, regardless of discussion or consent. It is just so wrong and gross. She is much more culpable for this than a quick apology could ever clear up.
Apology not accepted.
To put this into some context, it was known in the Chicago area for years that he was a pedophile and had an inappropriate relationship with Aaliyah. He had a string of underage women as essentially slaves in his house. The parents in many cases knew. If I knew, there is no way that Hollywood didn’t. But he was talented and successful which excused everything.
This is such BS. She only apologized to make herself look better in campaign for her Oscar. She never had a problem with R Kelly before despite being called out on this OVER AND OVER. Lady Gaga cares about causes when it suits her and even then I think the only person she truly cares about is herself.
Do what you want with me
What you want make it ?
What you want will make us cleaner
What you want with my body
Do what you want with me
What you want with my body
Do what you want with me
What you want with my body, world
Help me now
What you want with my body (world)(what you want with my body)
Do what you want with my body
Sometimes I’m scared I suppose
If you ever let me go
I would fall apart (apart)
If you break my heart
So just take my body
And don’t stop the party (ey!)
Sounds a little different, now, eh Stephanie Germonatta. We all know the R. Kelly is a biographical songwritter. This was hidden in plain sight.