US Weekly tries to reconcile Jessica Simpson and ex Nick Lachey

Is it possible for Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson to get back together, all over again? If you’re going by US Weekly, then of course it’s possible! While the world is still shivering from the epic douchery of Tony Romo to dump Jessica the night before her birthday, most people have been solely focused on the “what went wrong” aspect of the split. Did Tony just want a way out? Did John Mayer send some naughty texts to Jessica, and Tony saw them? Did Pervert Papa Joe Simpson meddle too much? All good questions.

But it was only the brave editors at US Weekly who realized, as if by magic, that now that Tony dumped Jessica, both Jessica and her ex-husband Nick Lachey are single. Oh. My. God. Cover! We’ll call it “Newlyweds: Redux”. No, no. Us Weekly instead calls their cover story “Second Chance”. If you read the smaller print, it seems that Jessica and Nick aren’t even speaking to each other again, they are only “Newlyweds are haunted by secret feelings”. Yes, I like Jessica, but this is making me a little barfy. Here’s the basic rundown, via Jezebel:

After five pages of speculation about how since Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey are both single now they MIGHT get back together since they are “haunted by the ghost of their relationship past.”

Quotes refuting this theory appear at the end of the story: “He would never ever go back with her. He’s a different person now,” a source says. “All Nick wants now is a non-famous girl he can settle down and have kids with.”

Then the magazine writes: “Ironically, though Simpson now wants to settle down and have a family, a source close to her tells Us she isn’t pursuing her ex-hubby.” “They don’t talk and haven’t seen each other in years,” the insider says. “That’s the last thing on her mind.” Okay then!

[From US via Jezebel]

Yeah, I don’t see it happening. I could totally see Nick being a nice guy and calling Jessica to offer his sympathies, and maybe offering her some rebound sex. In general, though, I suspect Nick is totally over Jessica. I think he’s totally over the whole Simpson family – his dealing with Pervert Joe must have really soured the whole situation. I really believe that Jessica still has that “Newlywed” stuff in her head – she wants to identify herself as someone’s wife, and I do think she wants to be a mother. Tony wasn’t her guy, and she wasn’t mature enough to appreciate Nick when she had him. Sigh.

I am thisclose to playing matchmaker for Jessica. Who would be good for her? Pattz? God no. Mayer again? Uh, no. John Stamos? No, he’s for Aniston. Daniel Radcliffe? He likes cougars, but his atheism would be a problem. George Clooney? He would like her boobs and her ditziness, but I think he prefers brunettes. Oh my God, I’ve got it! Prince Harry! He and Jessica would be perfect together. Neither one of them is very bright, he likes blondes, she likes athletes, and you know the sex would be pretty awesome. Perfect match!

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24 Responses to “US Weekly tries to reconcile Jessica Simpson and ex Nick Lachey”

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  1. Jen says:

    I think Nick is well out of it and has too much sense to go back

  2. ab says:

    that would be nice if they decide to reconcile…btw, her earrings look like birdcages!

  3. Jazz says:

    I don’t think Nick would go there again, unless Papa Joe convinces him to. I recall when Tom Cruise & Nicole Kidman split, the aussie magazines were still trying to reconcile them, even two years after they split. I remember thinking give it up! They’re not getting back together. Now it’s all ‘Poor Stepford Katie’ stories.

  4. Wench. says:

    I am loving those earrings!

  5. kai says:

    ab, I thought the same thing about the earrings, you beat me to it, d-mn it!

    and, um, prince harry?? NO!

  6. Linda says:

    RUN NICK RUN!!!! Jessica had hurt Nick and dumped him one before they got married – I think the second time he got dumped by her is the final time. Nick ain’t going back to her – she doesn’t deserve him – he is way too GOOD for her.

  7. KRD says:

    Do Nick and Tony vaguely resemble each other? or is it just me?

  8. sarcra says:

    People has some quotes from a source saying Jessica and Nick will never get back together, because she and her family don’t respect him and there’s too much bad blood between Nick and Joe. Pretty harsh.

  9. ab says:

    kai – as long as we agree! 🙂

  10. Ned says:

    Nick is not over Jessica, but he was a jerk to her, and she would be a fool to give him another chance.

    This guy thinks his women are supposed to create his career and boost it.

    But if the lady happens to overshadows his non existent career, then he gets really jealous.

    There is no reason for her to go back to a cheap guy who was not supportive of her career and her success.

  11. AA says:

    I’m glad SOMEONE ELSE realizes that John Stamos & Jennifer Aniston should be together! 🙂 YES!

  12. kym says:

    I don’t believe there will ever be a second chance, it’s just wishful thinking for some.

    Nick is too good and too smart for Jessica. He’s a nice, down-to-earth guy who deserves to find someone who is his equal, a woman who will truly love and appreciate him and treat him right.

    He deserves better than the f*** job he got from Jessica and her father! Why would he want to take a step backwards and get back with her again? (he’d also get Joe too, since they’re a package deal, he could’t get her without also getting him) They couldn’t make one move without Joe lurking in the back, watching and trying to control Jessica and her relationship and life, like he did before.

  13. LC says:

    Am I the only one who thinks these two are meant for each other? So what if they both “made a mistake” four years ago? I believe that they truly loved one another and deep down still do. Their ending up in shallow relationships (respectively) proves that they need to give it another try. Don’t be so judgemental because NO RELATIONSHIP is perfect.

  14. Denise says:

    Nick did not treat Jess like crap and he did not depend on her success. He was the famous one and made her famous by being with him> She let her father interfere and she need to grow up and tell Papa Joe to butt out. Nick waited on her virgin butt and did not sleep with her until their wedding night. The othes got it for free and she did not make them wait til marriage. So who treated who badly? Jess treated Nick like a jerk. Her family should have respect for Nick because he didn’t treat her like a piece of meat like John and Tony. She claim she had other secret lovers what a little slut but Nick was the only one that made her decent the others just got their freak on with her>I don’t think Nick wants her passed around butt not after waiting on her until marriage. So you Nick Lachey haters buzz off.

  15. tori says:

    Nick was never a jerk with Jessica, she was a jerk with him He treated her like a queen and put up with her spoiled,diva,me me me ways. He loved her unconditionally and she having the big head she does thinking she’s so much better then everyone else dumped him and ever since then her career has been in the dumpster. He wrote a whole album about their breakup and even cried on talk shows about losing her. She let a great thing go, what an idiot I’d never take her and her loser family back. He should stay as far from her and them as possible. They treated him like dirt and if anyone should have no respect, he shouldn’t have respect for any of them. Nick needs to find a normal girl who isn’t all about herself.

  16. Dani says:

    I can’t say that part of me doesn’t like the idea. I liked them together, even though I think he’s out of her league.

    Why is John Stamos perfect for Aniston?

  17. Sharrie says:

    Don’t do it Nick! She is still under her crazy fathers thumb….well,Joe probably would not allow it anyway.

  18. Bo says:

    Jessica, move to Florida and I will be happy to see you through all this mess.

  19. Karine says:

    Who cares! Another sequel of “As the Worm Turns”

  20. nette says:

    I wish them luck If they get a second chance

  21. KellyinCali says:

    This is hilarious! All the postings by women are in the Lachey camp and all the dudes are in the Simpson camp. FYI, neither one of them is going to go out with any of you.

    Whatever they decide, I hope they are happy.

  22. beachett says:

    It’s truely None of our bee’s Wax

    If they find each other again ,and it works out Great ! If not Life moves on !
    as All of us who read this knows !
    Best of Luck to them Both !

  23. BJ says:

    My son was stationed in Germany when they did their USO show. He was assigned to the Security and you can see him in the beginning of show behind Jessica. After the show THEY gave him the flag from the stage as a THANK YOU! The Lachey’s were very much into being just regular people and meeting everyone. This Flag was put on a house in Brook IN. on the 4th of July. Yes it covered the whole side of the house. As for Nick and Jessica getting back together, who knows! That to me is private and if they do I hope it works this time.

  24. chris says:

    Nick didn’t treat Jessica bad; he was and continues to be a stand-up classy guy who treated her right and loved her unconditionally. He put up with her dumb, little talent having, wannabe diva ass and her wannabe family and instead of being treated with the respect and love he deserved he got treated like shit and had his heart broken. Now Karma’s a bitch and Jessica’s getting treated like shit and is having her heart broken by guys who aren’t half the men that Nick is. Hell no, they should not get back together, she’s not good enough for him and doesn’t deserve him. She didn’t know how great she had it back then, but I bet she does now, though.