I get why people dig Russell Brand. I think he is entertaining as hell when he wants to be and he does good work destigmatizing addiction. But even though he’s supposedly reformed himself, he’ll do something that pings my douche-o-meter. His latest interview with The Sunday Times Magazine sent my douche-o-meter into the red. Russell, 43, married Laura Gallacher, 31, in August 2017. They are parents to Peggy, six months and Mabel, two. The Times asked Brand about fatherhood and although he waxed poetic about the idea of his daughters, he admitted that he doesn’t do any of the work to raise them and justified his non-involvement by saying he’s disorganized.
On why Laura has to do all the work: I’m still of a romantic and reflective and, possibly, to give it its proper name, a religious disposition. That’s my world view. That’s not necessarily what you want organizing pragmatic, bureaucratic, managerial stuff.
But this is all a compliment to Laura, or something: It turns out that [Laura] is extremely well versed in the nuances and complexities of child-rearing. Me, I am dedicated to it, devoted to it, but I am still surprised when it’s like, ‘Oh my God, this is f—ing really hard and it’s so exhausting.’ The younger one, I just feel inept so quickly, like with the crying.
On the longest he’s watched his own children: Um, I’ve done like, a night. But they’re asleep then.
On if he’s ever spent a full day alone with his kids: No. She wouldn’t go away for 24 hours, Laura. She respects and cares for their safety too much.
On his strengths and weakness: Yes, I’m very, very focused on the mystical connotations of Mabel’s beauty and grace. Not so good on the nappies and making sure that they eat food.
It’s just easier for Laura: We’re in a coffee shop, she’s just got a nappy on, she’s covered in stuff because I’m not willing to fight any of the battles. I’m like, f*** it, it doesn’t matter whether she wears trousers, no, I suppose it doesn’t matter if she does that. So it looks a bit Shameless within a couple of hours. Laura’s able to sustain and maintain domesticity in a way that’s astonishing.
[From People and Sky News]
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The interview itself is behind a paywall so I can’t link it. Some argue this is just Brand’s humor coming through. I doubt that, primarily because of the twisted rationalizing he does to justify his lack of involvement. We’re supposed to accept that he parents on a conceptual level and that that excuses him from the nuts and bolts of child-rearing. What happens when Peggy or Mabel get into a scrape? Will Brand ponder the existential ramifications while Laura cleans the wound snd puts on a bandaid? He’s modeling to his children that they can’t depend on him when it’s important. Yes, child rearingften “f—king exhausting,” but it’s not the child’s responsibility to compensate for a parent who refuses to adapt.
I’m not defending Laura, either. I asked a counselor why my daughter has not been asking for help at school and has been taking it all on herself. The counselor asked, “Does she ever see you ask for help?” The answer, sadly, was no. And when I did, I’d apologize. But that’s changing because I don’t want that pressure on my kids. Laura would be doing her daughters a service by asking their pops to lend a hand.
Photo credit: WENN Photos
Katy Perry dodged a bullet.
Yes she did. I’ve always considered him a very articulate, witty and intelligent person and have read both his autobiographies and while they were interesting and hilarious at times and I admire his strength considering what he’s been through (eating disorders, heroin addiction, his mother having cancer 2 or 3 times), I went right off him after finishing the books.
Yes, he’s smart and witty, but he’s also a pretty sh*tty person and takes weird pride in admitting it. There were so many instances in the books where he described how he was an absolute sh*tbag to someone and tried to turn it into a funnt anecdote. I’m not surprised he’s a failure as a father. Ultimately, the most important person in Russell Brand’s life is always Russell Brand. He’s exactly the kind of guy you’d expect to be proud of himself and expecting admiration for doing the bare minimum in a relationship.
Mate, she doesn’t refuse to leave the kids with you because she “cares for their safety too much”. She just realizes she picked the wrong guy to have children with because you can’t be trusted to take care of your own offspring for one day.
My ex husband would have been that sort of father and I was not interested in only being the disciplinarian and coordinator whilst he only did the fun stuff. I made damn sure never to get knocked up and I’m thankful af that I did.
I don’t often agree with your rhetoric, but I’m board with what you wrote. He’s fantastic but just because you’re currently shite at parenting doesn’t excuse a lifetime of it.
He does good work, like you said but man does he itch the douch-o-meter in my brain. I get one parent being more “natural” than the other but we should ALL be parenting our children equally.
All the blame goes to Russell.
Sounds like pure laziness.
Yep, looks like Laura has 3 kids. What I enjoy about his personality is exactly what I’d dislike in him as a partner/parent.
These words would come back to bite him in the arse should they separate and he admittedly can’t be trusted to tend to his children alone.
You know what else gnaws on me here? I’m a disorganized so-called artist type and when I had my son, I learned. I simply got on with it, had to. I’d bet his girls will grow up thinking what a cool dad they have and how mom was a drag. I hope they appreciate who needed to do the heavy lifting by default, all alone (albeit a nanny if they employ one).
At least money isn’t a problem. That is one less burden for the mom to worry about and it’s a LOAD off. So it could be worse.
My b.f. lost his wife wjen his daughter was 3 months old and HAD to raise his child alone, working full-time, only day care to help. He had no choice. It can be done. She’s 5 now but thriving.
You get what you allow. The wife shares in the blame as well.
I’ve never found him funny or attractive, so I’ll be honest that I don’t understand his appeal. I do think he’s done good work for a destigmatizing addiction, but he’s definitely a full-on douche and this made me see red.
“No. She wouldn’t go away for 24 hours, Laura. She respects and cares for their safety too much.”
That just sounds so wrong. You’re such a crap dad that the kids can’t even be alone with you for a day without their mom worrying.
He just wants to be macho and wacky at the same time. Nappies are for women to deal with, amirite fellas?
I think he’s poking fun of himself in that safety line, it’s out of context. I laughed at that one. she knew who she was marrying, I assume when she wants help she asks and he does, I think he’s trying to be a comedian through this interview and talk about how he feels like a bumbling fool compared to her because she’s clearly the type A and he probably is a tornado through her organized parenting style. I feel that way about my husband. It’s pretty comical. He helps A LOT, but he’s easily frustrated and overwhelmed and usually leaves a mess in his wake!
@lua that’s how I took it as well. I thought his interview was funny and I didnt take anything he said seriously.
Wow. Shades of my ex who constantly spiritualizes destructive self-absorption. Making everyone else clean his literal & metaphorical Nappy… cuz he recognizes the mystical in all y’all, superior job, yo.
The good news is when the divorce happens not much will change for the children.
Bets are he’ll sue for custody—celebrity bookie speaketh.
Noone’s perfect. I was smiling reading that “in his voice” you know? A lot of it is his humor. I don’t dislike him and really like his interviews with Dr. Jordan Petersen.
He does interviews with Nazi Kermit? Oh, shit, now I hate him.
I would bet he is the “fun” parent and his wife keeps the machine running. He has ADHD and bipoalr, so I would guess the day to day activities that are essential to child rearing are lost on him. Executive functioning deficits are a bitch. I deal with it every time my son goes to his dads house. He will come hone unshowered and barely fed (they both have ADHD) His dad could never, ever care for him full time.
No. Using ADHD to excuse Brand being a bad parent is unacceptable. I am autistic and have ADHD and have the corresponding executive functioning struggles. Yet according to you because of that I couldn’t possibly be a proper parent to my three kids. Piss off. There are thousands of parents with those same issues who manage to actually give a shit about being parents despite said struggles. Brand is a lazy douche who doesn’t give two shits about the grind of parenting. It has nothing to do with ADHD.
Nah, your ex is just negligent. I have ADHD and an anxiety disorder, and I live with three children that aren’t mine – and I *still* manage to help feed, bathe, clothe, and care for them regularly when their parents aren’t around. And I do this while working a full time job and attending school.
ADHD parenting isn’t not taking care of essential child basics. ADHD parenting is missing a doctor’s appointment because you forgot to write it down and then having to rush around to get to your daughter’s recital because you got caught up doing something at work and lost track of time. It’s bursting into tears of frustration because your kid is being difficult and you’re overwhelmed. It’s having to put dosage reminders in your phone when they’re sick so you don’t forget to give them antibiotics. It’s a lot of things, but it’s not negligence.
I have not had children yet but plan to. And I think I’ll do a damn good job even though I’m “bipoalr” as you put it — and I don’t care if you “would guess the day to day activities that are essential to child rearing are lost” on those of us with mood disorders and/or ADHD.
Don’t be a judgmental jerk.
Screw that
I’m severely bipolar I, II and mixed episodes, ADD, OCD (not the cleaning organized type :p) Social anxiety disorder, General anxiety disorder, Panic disorder, PTSD, ASD
I have two son’s 13 and 23 that I do a damn good job raising, and it ain’t easy because they have all the same things wrong with them.
Anyone using it as a excuse is full of shit. The thing is… your kids need to be more important to you than you, yourself, are.
CairinaCat: Bingo. Your last sentence says it all. I only have a few of the conditions you mentioned and managed to raise two sons into adulthood quite well. A good parent realizes they must become a bit more selfless.
His essay on addiction was incredibly helpful for me to understand a little bit what people experience and I will always respect him for being articulate and insightful.
That being said, it seems like he would be challenging to live with.
Color me so NOT surprised
I find him smart and funny but yeah, a douche
Exactly. Brand is smart, funny, well spoken but the douche level is at 100%. I am certain his wife must have a helper of some sort to assist with all 3 of the kids, the 2 younger ones and Russell himself.
This is very, very common with leftist ‘woke’ blokes. They’ll sing from the rooftops about the importance of equality, understanding and the exploitation of labour, and then come up with endless excuses as to why they don’t respect their partner in the division of labour. Housework, childcare, emotional labour – it all still somehow falls on the woman, while their husband gets praised to the skies when designing to do the bare minimum.
yeah. and he’s so into metaphysical stuff, energy, god, chi, you know, but can’t take care of his own child. it’s always easier to be a mystic than a decent human being. in my mind, concrete love is so much more admirable than universal, bogus love.
Hahaha!!! Thanks! Guru smack talk = BS!!
I do most of the work taking care of my daughter. My husband works nine hour days, not including the 2-3 hours of driving to get there and back, but it means i get to be home to bring my kid to the bus stop and pick her up, and stay home to take care of the house and read lol. Now I would never hesitate to leave him and our daughter home overnight or a week or whatever. I have no problem asking for help if I need it but my daughter prefers me to help her bath, she’s a picky eater and prefers what I cook her. My guess is that when she’s a teenager she will prefer her dad for a few years because that’s usually the way it goes for mothers and daughters.
This is disappointing to read – he portrays himself as such a woke dude but he expects his wife to do everything on the homefront? …way to be an ally a**hole.
If his wife doesn’t mind, I don’t mind. Different strokes.
LOL, I’m sorry, I’ll never understand women who marry adult male children. Like, it’s your life, lady, but an actual child is enough work without having to include your partner under that umbrella. I guess the appeal here is money and fame. *shrugs* I’ll pass.
I’ve never been able to understand women who do this. Is the money worth the endless stress, years lost to tending a man-baby—and having no self-respect down deep?
The idea of openly saying “I dont do child care” as almost a thing to be proud of…bugs me.
OTOH, stop praising men for doing child care. Kids have 2 parents, both should be involved in hands on child care. Go ahead and add this to the huge list of Things That Need To Change Already.
Cancelled. F this guy – I really like(d) brand but after this, no. This is sexist bulldookie and he’s being toxic.
Also this:
“I asked a counselor why my daughter has not been asking for help at school and has been taking it all on herself. The counselor asked, “Does she ever see you ask for help?” The answer, sadly, was no. ”
That resonates – my son won’t ask for help at school either and urm, maybe this gives me an idea why now.
I still think he’s intelligent and funny, but a jerk. Pretty much the view I’ve always had of him lol, though I do wonder how much of this he’s exaggerating for humor.
I can’t tell if he’s trying to be funny or being serious. What if, God forbid, something happened to his wife and he became a single dad all of a sudden? What is he going to do, pawn his children off to other family members? It’s almost like he’s a deadbeat but still living in the same household. Don’t have kids if you don’t think you can handle the physical and emotional responsibility! You don’t get to opt out of helping to raise them.
He’ll find a younger woman and dump the responsibility on her.
That’s just lazy and selfish.
A million excuses will be made for it, but it’s lazy and selfish. I have little patience for that helpless man-child nonsense that many men (and some women) perpetuate, because it’s just an excuse to not put in the work. He’s 40+ years old and willingly decided to have children. Step up and do the work.
First of all I think it was tongue-in-cheek. I doubt he’s broadcasting that his children are in danger in his care. Secondly, in regards to “step up and do the work,” it does not take two to change a diaper. Parenting is a team sport. As long as both are carrying their weight somehow, why NOT divide and conquer? I loved newborns, my husband was incredibly patient with tweens. To each their own.
I don’t think he’s 100% serious about the danger thing either, but the point is larger, that he doesn’t seem to be carrying ANY weight.
I’m not saying he has to do 50% of every task, it makes sense to, as you said, divide and conquer and each person handle what they’re best at, but by his own words, he doesn’t seem to be doing much at all.
If his wife is truly fine with this, that’s up to them, but I’m just over the attitude that so many men have of “eh, their mom is better at that stuff so I’m not going to do any of it.”
I mean to each family their own! Russell contributes in his own way, he has amassed millions and his children will have access to opportunities that most of us can only dream of! Also, some parents are better with different ages. Maybe he’ll really be able to get through to his teen daughters? Who knows. Anyway I do hope his wife hires help as needed to get a break, 2 kids ages 2 and under is tough.
His wife comes from money, too, so I’m not sure why that’s counted as an excuse not to be more emotionally involved. They would’ve had opportunities no matter who their father was. The reality is just that we don’t expect men to do any of the emotional labor of child raising, which is to our detriment as a society. Children are not an accessory. They don’t have “off” switches for us to pick and choose when we want to be parents. His children are only children once. He wants to waste the time he has with them, that’s his loss and theirs.
I wouldn’t feel so strongly about this, but I come from a family with an emotionally negligent and narcissistic father. I’ve seen the damage it can do. And while Brand may be shooting for self-depreciating humor, he’s tapping into a legitimate issue in family structuring in Western society and tacitly normalizing it. His children will have plenty of opportunities, but there are lots of men out there who really think of childraising as beneath them, and their female partners don’t have a fraction of these resources to deal with it.
It comes off as him being self-depreciating to me. An addict mocking himself, which is common in 12 step as it’s a way of combating grandiosity and Narcissism, but I don’t think it’s translating very well here.
This sucks, but I’ve seen it before. This was the breakdown of duties in my family — before my parents’ divorce, unsurprisingly.
And my mom isn’t some pushover. She knew my dad as a husband but not as a father until it actually happened, at which point she was disappointed. Maybe not shocked, but certainly disappointed.
My parents are still married, by my mom complains almost daily about how my dad doesn’t help with stuff around the house and other things. It’s textbook uneven emotional labor (and probably a big part of why I have little interest in marriage or living with someone).
He was always a sexist. Are people in the US familiar with his on-air slut shaming a mere 10 years ago; this from a guy flouncing around in his playboy persona?
It has its own Wikipedia page:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Russell_Brand_Show_prank_telephone_calls_row
I cannot with men/fathers like this who just wordlessly opt-out of basic tasks of parenting. You’re both the parents, and what example are you setting for your kid(s) about the division of household labor between two grown adults?
I especially hate it when the guy says “Oh, but you’re so much better at this than I am!” Yeah b*tch, because I’m the only one willing to do it, that I actually got better with practice.
God, if someone ever pulls that “But you’re better at it than me,” line on me ever again, they will lose teeth. That is one condescending, manipulative tactic that needs to be killed.
I read this 3x and I would rather swan dive off the highest peak. Kudos to Laura if this works for her though.
As an only child, I can’t imagine childbearing which is why I don’t have any. Him being an only may be at play here. I always imagined a SAHD if I had kids.
In addition, I know some women who are huge mama bears who feel like their husband may mess up their routine with the kids so they do most of it themselves. I have a German friend who doesnt go out at night anymore even though her husband can handle bedtime because if he doesnt do things just so, she fears shell be woken up by her kids and her whole schedule thrown off. It sounds nutty but true.
Maybe they have an arrangement that suits them.
Oh yes, there’s his sense of humour shining through for us all to see. He is using his sense of humor to justify the oppressive gender realations in his home.
For the record – everyone feels inept and overwhelmed at times when carring for children. It is hard work.
Even an excellent homemaker and parent needs some assistance. And parents who are proud of ignoring their children shouldn’t expect any kind of loving life long bond with their children.
The fact that it is hard to care for children is no excuse to presume that you’re misogyny is some kind of spiritually reflective romantic lifestyle.
When mom finally asks him for help and/or get involved I anticipate the divorce will soon follow
And he wanted to subject katy to that…and then shame her for not wanting to be his wifey doormat lead parent…. HE TRIED IT
I don’t like him, he is ugly, greasy and annoying. Of course he does not help his wife.
old stoners always have to hang onto the ‘waxing political’ part of themselves- ie: being stoned without the drug. russell brand will be a bit over-macho because of all the women in his life- he will like having all the women, but, he will mistakenly do the pseudo-butchness to assert a version of his perceived superiority..er masculinity, and ‘difference’. IF he can develop into the role that he is a good protector, a good listener, a good teacher to his girls, emphasizing the philosophical part of him, then maybe that will be a big part of his ‘doing’ and make him realize that sometimes you just have to make a sandwich for the kids, or a bottle of milk and be with them. There is nothing wrong with having parental traditional roles, if that is what works with the couple.
russell and laura to their credit do seem to understand that.