Over the weekend, Terry Crews and D.L. Hughley got into a Twitter feud. It was an emotional exchange resulting in Hughley lambasting Terry for his non-violent reaction to being sexually assaulted. Of course, Hughley is not the first celebrity to attempt to tear Terry down over this, but you could tell it broke Terry’s heart even more because up until this mess, Terry looked up to Hughley.
It began when Terry posted a tweet with a clip of an interview Hughley gave in which he was asked about Terry’s response to being forcibly grabbed. The clip is NSFW for language and because Hughley is an a-hole:
You told the world “God Gave Me Muscles So I Could Say No…”
Are you implying I “wanted” to be sexually assaulted?
I’m listening, sir…https://t.co/v6Q4xrvfJQ
— terry crews (@terrycrews) January 27, 2019
What did you think of the whole Terry Crews sexual assault thing?
I think it’s hard for me to think that a dude with all those muscles can’t tell a agent not to touch his ass. I don’t understand it. Everybody is so into this notion, ‘it happened to #MeToo!’ Hey, M***F***, God gave you muscles so you could say no and mean it.”
In addition to Terry’s point, that Hughley is implying he didn’t smack Venit because he wanted to be abused, Hughley is also saying that those who are physically weaker than their attacker, like most women, are not allowed to say no. At one point, Hughley’s point is hinged on the fact that because actors pay their agents, their agents can’t molest them. Like, if Terry had just anticipated Adam Venit rushing him and grabbing his crotch without warning, he could have held his hand up and said, “Oh, no, sir – you may not touch me because 10% of my salary goes to your agency” and that would have prevented the whole thing. Then Hughley likened “Athletes, porn stars and entertainers” to sex workers with their agents serving as their pimps. The whole time, the interviewer served as Hughley’s Billy Bush by laughing and feeding him punchlines. There was so much stupid that Terry was wise to only address Hughley’s main point, which is that Terry is a big, strong man and should have beaten the guy instead of how he reacted. And this isn’t some joke that went sideways, because he doubled-down when Terry asked him about it:
You saw the video!
— DL Hughley (@RealDLHughley) January 27, 2019
Terry tried, once again, to get Hughley to listen and Hughley, once again, spoke out of his ass:
That’s different than slapping the shit outa him
— DL Hughley (@RealDLHughley) January 27, 2019
The thing is, Terry isn’t asking for Hughley’s or anyone’s permission to act as he did. He’s asking for a national dialogue to change this behavior. So, when Hughley kept at it Terry stayed to play:
So sir…
If you truly feel that is a correct way to deal with toxic behavior…
Should I slap the shit out of you? https://t.co/GmePqluEIX
— terry crews (@terrycrews) January 27, 2019
Notice Terry is not, in fact, threatening anyone. He is literally applying Hughley’s logic to his own argument. It’s a boss move. Following that, Hughley quickly changed the subject on Twitter.
Obviously, there’s a lot of support for Terry. He wants justice for victims everywhere and knows that lending his voice will help others speak out.
Dear @terrycrews: I appreciate your courage. You are a compassionate, educating voice for male victims of sexual assault. Thank you for standing. It matters for all of humanity and especially for boys and men who’ve been violated, but feel voiceless. Blessings.
— Be A King (@BerniceKing) January 27, 2019
I say this to say I feel it is very important that @terrycrews has stood strong in his truth and hope it has helped some man or boy in the shadows know that violence or drugs or self-harm aren’t the only path and that they are not alone
— Chelsea Peretti (@chelseaperetti) January 28, 2019
They know not what they joke – your action forced change @ WME. They replaced their HR head Carole Katz, who for more than 18 years protected abusers and terminated those that reported abuse.
— Facciabrutta37 (@Facciabrutta37) January 27, 2019
— Tarana (@TaranaBurke) January 27, 2019
And just to show how unconnected to reality he is, Hughley did end up posting post this to his Instagram:
Oh, the irony.
Photo credit: Twitter, Avalon Red and WENN Photos
I can’t stand DL. He claims to be the champion of the black community. He’s only a champion for straight black men. As a black woman im so tired of people like him. He mocks sexual assault victims and seems to revel in him homophobia. He’s parrots the same talking points that some white people do about Terry being a big black man. Yeah he could’ve punched the guy, but his career would have been over. He would be the one in jail, dropped by his agency, and his TV show. The narrative would not have been him defending himself, it would have been big black man punches little rich white dude. Terry knew this and did what he could to diffuse the situation. It’s a situation that so many women find themselves in. Men need to understand that toxic behavior and masculinity are not synonymous. I appreciate Terry continuing to fight the good fight.
This…
Agreed on all fronts.
I follow DL on Twitter and he is such and advocate for so many causes especially for black people I wonder what got into him.
If he’s such an advocate that may mean he has some capacity to educate himself. So that’s even more disappointing. For example he could read Bluesky comments above which explains simply why his comments and thinking are problematic.
I hope Terry Crews continues to rise above these.
I think that D.L. speaks from the not being able to process this happening because “if I were built like this dude I would’ve…” and it’s a little comedy thrown in as well . Having said that i feel that this is the wrong way to look at things because you have no clue how you would react unless it happens to you, and it’s not funny to the person who went through it .
I also think that Terry should definitely not respond to every person that does not get it. I think he could use his energy helping others. No need shouting at brick walls!
not gonna lie some of DL Hughley’s tweets were pretty funny, I think he is trying to sidestep the whole thing and I don’t blame him – look nobody is perfect.
@ Loopy
DL Hughley is an “advocate “for black male toxicity. He cares about black men ONLY and even then just a certain type
When racist Don Imus disrespectfully called the black female players on the Rutgers college team “nappy headed H*es “.
DL Hughley was the FIRST to come to Don Imus’s defense even yukking it up with him and dismissing black women as not being able to take a “joke’
These were COLLEGE students some still in their teens and he has NEVER apologized.
He’s *still* harping on the issue of black women “choosing” to not understand his “humor,” and defending his decision to embrace Don Imus. He was on Maron’s podcast a few weeks ago where he discussed it.
He’s one of those who probably thinks that they’re “too smart” for therapy, when he has sooooooo much to process. Bless his heart, I hope he gets the help he needs before it’s too late for him.
And he needs to lose his job. That would be great. Kthxbai.
DL is a trash bag wastrel of a human being. He’s cheated on his wife openly for years, admitted to being verbally abusive and his wife even pays his mistress a monthly stipend. His opinion shouldn’t count for anything and it makes me sad that he even has any kind of platform or audience.
Yeah, I read he repeatedly lied to his wife about having a baby with his side piece so he’s the last person to be dictating how a “man” should act.
No matter how big he is, he is still under the same pressures of anyone who gets harassed at work. He didn’t want to lose his career. Seems so obvious a point that DL is being intentionally obtuse or he’s not that smart
I don’t know who this other guy is, but Terry will remembered for his courage, intelligence and dignity throughout. He’s creating a legacy not only with his work but his personal actions. And the other guy sounds like a prize nob.
Jaysus – he and Kevin Hart can go cry together over how persecuted they are because people are mad at them for showing their asses instead of cheering them for being homophobic losers.
Don’t worry DL – I’m sure Ellen DeGeneres will be calling soon so you can come on the show and whine about how misunderstood you are. But it’s okay because you’re funny, right? We’re all a bunch of haters because you minimize sexual abuse.
So much this!! Queue Savior Ellen…..
DL is representative of the tone deaf, uninformed way the black community deals with sexual assault. (Black woman here) DL is also a man who spent most of his married life cheating on his wife sooooo, while he does post some good stuff on Instagram, there’s a lot of cognitive dissonance where he’s concerned and this is evidence of that. Where this is concerned-he just needed to shut.his.mouth.
Exactly. Just like with the RKelly situation. So f-ing sick of them and their enablers…and I live in Chicago south side where there still continues to be support for RK. It’s horrifying.
I heard two men saying he should’ve hit him-if the police showed up, “it would have been proven, he would’ve been fine.”
What? You really think a black actor could’ve hit the white head of the motion picture group at one of the biggest agencies in Hollywood, and it would’ve been 100% guaranteed he and his career would be fine? Like Hollywood hasn’t continually shown that it’s deeply racist and will protect abusers until it’s impossible to do so? Okay.
There’s a 2012 interview on NPR’s tell me more with Michel Martin where Hughley exposes his whole ass, he’s far beyond canceled. :
MARTIN (interviewer): For example, I’m reading from Chapter 17 (of your book). “Being a dad to daughters is very different from being a dad to sons. The dangers are different and the way they listen to you is different. I’m sure every father feels the same way that I do about his daughters. I love them, but I don’t like them. Who likes women?”
Really?
HUGHLEY: Really.
MARTIN: Really?
HUGHLEY: Really.
MARTIN: Really?
HUGHLEY: Really, darling. Really.
MARTIN: You don’t like women?
HUGHLEY: I don’t like the way they process – no, I don’t. I enjoy their company. I do not like the way that they reason. You can’t understand them.
MARTIN: Well, for a man who has been married for 26 years and has two daughters – you have three children overall, two daughters and a son – you don’t think you’ve figured it out?
HUGHLEY: Do you think any man has figured it out? Anyone? Anyone? Name me a man who says I’ve figured women out, I got it.
My daughters, who I love immensely, are so certain, like if a man can have a face only a mother can love, then women can have personalities only fathers can love.
MARTIN: OK. That’s fine. But I have to ask you, though, and throughout the book, though, you do make some impassioned discussions about just how cheap you feel black life is viewed in this country.
HUGHLEY: It is viewed.
MARTIN: OK. But then to go on and in many parts of the book have some very harsh things to say about black women – African-American women.
HUGHLEY: Like what do you think is harsh?
MARTIN: I have to ask, you don’t think that’s a contradiction? Well, this argument that you’re saying that….
HUGHLEY: I don’t – I think my life has been a contradiction.
MARTIN: …black women is – the only black woman you could be married to is your wife.
HUGHLEY: Yes.
MARTIN: Because…
HUGHLEY: Because…
MARTIN: …black women are so messed up? I mean what – or because she’s so great?
I mean I’m sure she’s great but…
HUGHLEY: Well, in her ability to kind of tolerate my – it’s her ability to tolerate me, A) and B) I’ve never met an angrier group of people. Like black women are angry just in general. Angry all the time. My assessment, out of, just in my judgment, you either are in charge or they’re in charge, so there’s no kind of day that you get to rest.
Every time he opens his pie hole on twitter or any other visual media, a screen shot of this conversation should be the response. Once you see this, there is nothing else to say.
It pains me that hermanas of color are in any way affected by pendejos like this one.
#solidarity
This makes me so sad for his wife and children. He *refuses* to see black women as people with complex motivations and emotional processes. We’re just “angry.” For a long time, I think people just thought that this was part of his schtick, but the whole “Somebody take my wife!” faux aggression has turned out to be a pathological need to denigrate black women, including his wife, daughters, and the women he’s had sex with outside of his marriage. I wonder if he’s the kind of emotionally abusive person who plays mind games and makes it really hard for victims to point to concrete reasons why they feel so awful/terrified, or if he’s just really open and blunt about all of this hatred and misogynoir all the time.
This is so horrifying. It actually reminds me of Ck. It is out in the open but it appears to be a shtick.
I read this site all the time but never comment. But i dont see this in the comments section or the article. DL admitted in an interview that when his daughter told him she was sexually assaulted, he chose not to believe her because it was by someone he liked. Google it. He is trash.
….unfollowing his instagram right now.
@Penny — I still think he’s trash, and should lose his job, but here’s the full quote so everyone can see the context:
‘ “How come when people do stuff like this they’re always above reproach, nobody ever believes them, and there’s always a lot of victims? And the reason it hits home for me is because my youngest daughter came to me and said something happened to her and because it was somebody I liked, I didn’t believe her. I will never get that back. I’m supposed to protect her and I’ll never get that back that she told her father something and he didn’t do nothing about it because it was inconvenient,” Hughley confessed.‘
He’s specifically discussing how predators get away with the magnitudes of violation and abuse they do, and the one thing I appreciate is that he *seems* self-reflective here. As I speculated above, he could well be the kind of gaslighting abuser who hides behind humor and endless bloviating to accomplish his brand of emotional terror, so maybe this in particular is an insincere statement that he knew he “should” say because it sounds good. Or maybe he really meant it. I dunno because he can’t summon the will to not perform toxic masculinity at the drop of a hat.
Thanks for providing more context. I have to wonder though what happened to the lessons he learned from reflecting on his poor response to his daughter? Did he just feel bad for a little while, shrug it off and then go back to being toxic for the LOLs? Because his response to TC shows a level of obtuseness, never mind callousness, that I would be deeply ashamed to own.
The whole “I do not like women” thing does not give me much hope that he REALLY has the empathy to grow much… I used to like him, no I am just disillusioned.
Super gross. I had no idea. Bye bye DL. Go f&$k yourself buddy.
Terry Crews is a strong, intelligent and ambitious man. He knew that if he attacked Adam Venit publicly when Adam assaulted him, the headline would have been “Black actor, former professional player and bouncer, attacks gay white talent agent”, and the career he had worked so hard for would have been over, whether he was charged with assault or not. The fact that Terry was assaulted would have been forgotten and Adam Venit would continue the same behavior unchecked.
By pursuing a legal claim against Adam Venit and continuing to speak out, Terry is keeping the focus on the initial act and the predator and showing people that it is okay to talk about this and it doesn’t matter who you are, what race or gender you are, whether you’re a big, muscle-bound former NFL player, a young, small gymnast or an ordinary secretary, sexual assault can happen to anyone and survivors have nothing to be ashamed of.
D.L. Hughley needs to STFU; nobody knows what they would do in that situation and they don’t need him second-guessing how they do react, especially since he didn’t even believe his own daughter when she said she was assaulted by someone he liked. Sadly, that’s a very common occurrence: someone who is well-known to the survivor or family, even trusted implicitly, knows (or doesn’t care) that the survivor won’t be believed. I truly feel sorry for D.L.’s children, especially his daughters.
Why is it that the worst always seem to have daughters? I mean, having any offspring is bad for the horrible lessons he is teaching them but the mfs who go on the loudest about being “woke” often seem to have daughters…I could name names but damn…It’s a travesty.
Yes! It’s bad enough that boys are taught, at least indirectly, that this is how you treat women. But the daughters of these men are being taught that this is how to expect a man to treat them and that’s a shame.
Would have LOVED to have seen the reaction of muscular, black Terry Crewes slapping out a white man – an agent, to boot! The poor man would have been tasered and career cancelled.