Frances Cobain finally gets that ‘you don’t have to live lavishly to live well’

Moschino x H&M fashion show

For a few years now, I’ve gotten a sense that Frances Bean Cobain got all of the wild-child drama out in her teenage years and early 20s. She’s 26 years old now and she seems incredibly stable and well-adjusted, all things considered. She’s always been a wealthy young woman, as she is the sole heir to her late father’s estate. I’ve always wondered if it might be better for heirs and heiresses to be raised in complete isolation from the fact of the inheritance, and then to only be told about the money when they’re well into their 20s. I feel like heirs would appreciate it more and they wouldn’t feel the “burden” of it, nor would they be any more or less wild in their youth. Frances talked about her father’s estate and a lot more recently when she sat down for an interview on RuPaul’s podcast. Some highlights:

The money she inherited: “My relationship to money is different because I didn’t earn it. And so it’s almost like this big, giant loan that I’ll never get rid of. I have an almost foreign relationship to it or guilt because it feels like money from somebody that I’ve never met, let alone earned myself.”

She’s started to take the money seriously over the past two years: “I’d say in the last two years, I’ve taken real accountability at looking at every little thing and talking with the people in charge of my money. And also realizing that you don’t have to live lavishly to live well. … The one way that I was shown how to live was to…live beyond your means and live in excess. It took me stepping away from that and getting sober in order to realize that no matter how much money you think you have, it’s not permanent.”

What happened with her ex-husband Isaiah Silva: “I got married because I met a guy when I was 17 and newly emancipated from my mother who gave me a sense of normalcy and stability. The idea of marriage, of security a family very early on, was the complete opposite of what my mom did. ‘Cause my mom got married when she was 29 and had a baby when she was 30, and that’s not particularly old but she only had a family life for two years and then she never remarried. So I wasn’t provided with any stability. So I met this guy who presented himself to be stable and normal… but I really was grasping on for some kind of stability anywhere.”

[From People]

She also talked at length about her relationship with her mother, which has been tortured over the years but she makes it sound like they’ve been in a good place for a while, and that she appreciates that Courtney’s heart is mostly in the right place. Frances is doing music now, and she also talked about how Nirvana’s fans feel the need to project a lot of stuff on her and her music, but people just need to let her do her own thing. I think getting sober in 2016 was the best thing that ever happened to her, but I also think she just grew up, you know? And even in her so-called wild child days, she wasn’t even that big of a mess in public. Maybe she was privately, but it’s not like she was a Lohan about it. As for her father’s estate… it’s not a loan, good God. What a weird way to think about it.

Moschino x H&M fashion show

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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31 Responses to “Frances Cobain finally gets that ‘you don’t have to live lavishly to live well’”

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  1. Eleonor says:

    She sounds reasonable and well adjusted, considering she has been raised by Courtney Love this is amazing.

    • Kitten says:

      Incredible. She seems lightyears ahead of a lot of celeb spawn.

    • Muffy says:

      Courtney Love didn’t exactly have a stable childhood, either. Her mother claimed Courtney’s father gave her LSD as a toddler, gained full custody, and then moved constantly. If you weren’t raised with stability, you can’t provide it to your children.

      • Glove78 says:

        Presumably you didn’t mean to say “can’t” as in impossible, but for all of us children of chaotic homes that strive daily to provide stability for our kids I want to say it’s possible. A lot more difficult that those raised with stability, but possible.

  2. Kitten says:

    I thought that was Hilarie Burton for a second.

    Firstly, she looks the best I’ve seen her look in years. She’s really, really pretty. Her skin is glowing and her hair is shiny and lush. She looks so much healthier than she did even a few years ago.

    Second, she sounds really mature and grounded. She has always struck me as a very thoughtful, empathetic young woman. It can be harrowing trying to navigate life when you are living in the shadow of two famous (and arguably legendary) parents. For that she has my sympathy. And I know she’s had her low points but she really seems to be in a good place right now. I think it’s awesome that she is able to see the effects of her mother’s behavior and how it’s led her to some not-so-great life choices. I also admire her sense of forgiveness very much.

    I know how fragile sobriety is so I truly hope she continues on this path. She strikes me as an exceptionally strong person, so I believe she has a good chance.
    I’m rooting for her.

    • tealily says:

      To me, she’s a dead ringer for Scout Taylor-Compton.

    • Dee says:

      She’s really really pretty because of a LOT of plastic surgery, which I suspect her father would have hated.

      • Erinn says:

        I really don’t think the structure of her face is that dramatically different. She’s lost a TON of weight. She had a really round face before, and was never that large of a girl, but she’s definitely really thin now. I know my face changed shape a bit between 18-23ish. I mean, I’m not saying she didn’t get work done – but I don’t think it’s like she completely overhauled her face with plastic surgery. Her makeup is a lot different than she used to do it – eyebrows can really change an overall look, and that weight loss took away the roundness of her face. She’s probably gotten a little lip fillers or maybe a nose job? I just don’t think she’s done a whole package if that makes sense.

      • tealily says:

        She definitely had her nose done. She had her mom’s original nose as a kid.

      • Booney says:

        Lips and nose are most obvious.

      • Booney says:

        Actually… I’m not so sure about the nose job. I just watched some recent interviews of her on Youtube and it looks like she still has her real nose (or maybe a bad nose job?). It still looks slightly too long but her new lips help balance it out.

      • Melanie says:

        Dee is correct. She’s had massive amounts of surgery done to her face. Eye lift, nose job, chin. Obviously lip fillers. Just look at pictures of her in her late teens. No amount of weight loss can change that eyebrow height.

      • Steff says:

        yes, she looked exactly like Kurt before, she massively shaved her chin down. I think she had Kylie Jenner amount of plastic surgery.

  3. Dorothy says:

    So proud of you Bean 🥰

  4. Parigo says:

    She sounds like she’s made peace with a lot and came out wiser in the end. Good for Frances.

  5. maggi says:

    I like the way she describes her inheritance as a ‘loan’. Not as in something to be repaid but instead as a transient thing that she did not earn and which could be lost as readily as it was gained.

    • Carrie says:

      I read that noting her dad was a suicide… which, in that case, for some reason, made her view and term of loan make sense. As in her dad paid dearly for her to have all this and the cost/loss can never be repaid. Beautiful and brutally true. My heart goes out to her. Really glad to see her looking so well and her head is definitely on straight. Happy for her.

  6. tealily says:

    Good for her, for real. We’re all rooting for her.

  7. Lucy says:

    Good to know she’s in a good place. She seems like a smart and thoughtful woman. I wish her well!

  8. Nancy says:

    She’s so cute. Imagine the world knows the tortured life your father had, how disturbed her mother was/is, although Hole was pretty wicked good. She’s the spitting image of the father she will never know. Be strong, little Bean.

  9. Esmom says:

    Wow, so nice to read this. She sounds really thoughtful and mature and grounded. I always felt protective of and fearful for Kurt, he struck me as too sensitive and fragile for this world most of the time. I’m so happy to see evidence of real strength from Frances Bean.

  10. outoftheshadows says:

    She’s got RuPaul in her corner, which probably helps. But I think she’s figured out a lot on her own, now, and seems to know how to find good influences even if they weren’t provided for her. Smart girl, and I hope for the best for her.

  11. Booney says:

    How much money does she have? I thought Courtney blew through a ton of it.

  12. DIRTNAP says:

    I have always enjoyed learning her perspective. She comes across in interviews as mature and well spoken. I’m happy she has found happiness.

    Every time I see her though, I can’t help but think of how her ex got her dad’s iconic guitar in the divorce settlement. To know someone else has a piece of my dad that I couldn’t get back, especially if he died before I could really know him, would be so hard.

    • Amy Tennant says:

      That just punched a hole in my heart to read that. My children’s father just died a couple of months ago. They’re teenagers, and so they got to know him and will remember him. But it just makes every little remembrance and token they have from him full of meaning. My own mother died less than two weeks later, so I can relate a little there too, even though I am an adult. But my kids are still coming to me with thoughts like, “He’s not going to walk me down the aisle” and “How am I going to explain to my children why they only have one grandfather?” I’m still sorting through things and thinking of what they will want to keep and what will mean something to them. I can’t even throw away his empty water bottles on his bedside table yet.
      I didn’t know that she lost Kurt’s guitar in the divorce. That’s just cruel.

  13. Algernon says:

    Thinking of the money as a loan is probably a lot healthier than thinking of it as something she is entitled to. It also could mean she sees it as an intergenerational responsibility, not something she is meant to spend in her lifetime. Courtney Love was wildly irresponsible with money, and the only reason there is a fortune left for Frances is that Kurt’s estate was split between Frances and the other members of Nirvana. Dave Grohl and Chris Novoselic have been great stewards of Nirvana’s catalog, which means there was still something for Frances even though Courtney spent/lost money like crazy. I also wonder if losing one of Kurt’s guitars to her ex changed the way she views her inheritance. It’s not something she can be so frivolous with, or she could lose it all.

  14. TheOriginalTania says:

    Good for her! She sounds well. Follow your own path and be happy.

  15. Amy Tennant says:

    Good on you, Frances Bean!

    I remember when we made our wills, the lawyer suggested that the older we let the kids inherit, the better. We were thinking 21, and the lawyer said, “It’s up to you, but God, no.” And then we went to 25. The lawyer was saying 30, 35 was even better. I don’t remember what we set it as. It’s not like we have any money anyway, just a little property. We didn’t have Cobain money. But that’s what I thought of when I read this.

  16. LadyK says:

    I get that “loan” sentiment. My father was rarely in my life, and when he died, he was a stranger to me. So when 5 years later I was told I had inherited land (a mineral rights lease deal), it felt really weird to make money off of it. Like now i “owed” HIM something, ya know? So I get it.

  17. JRenee says:

    So many things set against her from an early age. I hope she stays sober and makes a great life for herself. Her dad’s legacy is so large, it’s easy to understand how she needed to find her own way.

  18. Bella Bella says:

    i liked her old nose.