I’ve mentioned before that I love reading about people’s habits and schedules and enjoy The Cut’s How I Get It Done series. Their most recent interview is with Sex and The City author Candace Bushnell, who describes her schedule of waking up around 7 or 8 a.m., she doesn’t set her alarm, writing until the early afternoon and then eating for the first time at 4 p.m. She writes standing up at her adjustable desk as she says it helps her think and she gets in bed at the enviable time of 9pm. She’s writing a book about dating again in her 50s (she’s 60 and mentions having a boyfriend) called Is There Still Sex in the City? She has a lot of wisdom about having confidence in yourself, sticking to a routine, and not letting negative messages get you down. The interview is well worth reading for that, and here are some excerpts:
On her schedule
I usually get up between 7 and 8 a.m. I don’t use an alarm. I can pretty much wake up when I need to.On not eating until 4 p.m.
I usually eat dinner early because I feel like it’s healthier, but I’m really not even hungry until 4 in the afternoon. I don’t really think about of food during the day. Then, I want to eat. I start snacking around 4 p.m. while I’m making dinner — some nuts or shrimp cocktail. I kind of pretend I have a family, but it’s just me and the dogs … I cook dinner and I watch the evening news and I’ll have a glass of wine or two.On her new book, Is There Still Sex in the City?
I wanted to call it “Middle-Age Madness” because it really started with certain things that happened to me in my 50s: I got divorced, my mother died a couple years ago, and all the sudden it felt like there was something in the air telling me I had to change my life. And I noticed it happening to a lot of my other friends as well. You know, when you’re 35, you don’t think about what your life is going to look like in your 50s, and the thing that people don’t realize is that your life can look very, very different than what you imagined. So, [the book is] really about all of these changes, and dating again in your 50s, and starting over… It’s also a really funny book. It’s all about the changing paradigms. There’s a question of, do you even want to have a partner? Are there times in one’s life when you’re better off without one?On self-discipline
You have to put the drama on the page and not in your life so I’m very disciplined. I write seven days a week. I try not to take [time off] because once I stop writing, it’s really hard to get back into it again.One mistake she’s made in her career
At the beginning of my career — and maybe through all of it — is not having enough confidence. Too much beating oneself up and absorbing negative messages. When I first started out in the ’80s and ’90s there were a lot of negative messages toward women. I was told nobody will want to publish a book about a young woman in New York City. That was before Sex and the City. I guess I wish I knew a little bit better not to listen to the negative voices out there. And sometimes it’s just easier to listen to the negative voices.
The way she eats is intermittent fasting, but she never says that and she presents it like a choice, which it may be for her. I wake up at 5 a.m. and force myself to wait until 8 a.m. until I eat anything. I don’t know why I made this a habit but I must assume it saves calories. If I followed her schedule I wouldn’t eat until about 2 p.m.!
I love what she said about having confidence in yourself and not focusing on the naysayers. She also talked about dating apps and dating as an older woman, and said that even for younger women it’s hard and is a big time investment. I really like how she posed the question of whether you want a partner or if you’re better off without one. That reminds me of something Rita Moreno said, that she would rather eat glass than get married again. A lot of women feel that way.
I imagine being a writer like that requires a great deal of self-discipline, and it sounds like she has crafted a schedule for herself that works, so good for her.
But, I wish I could be one of those people who wakes up and goes hours without eating. As it is I usually eat about 3 hours after I wake up (I get up at 530, and then usually eat around 830 or 9), but that’s more a function of commuting to work etc and not having time to eat , than actually choosing to eat at that time. I tried Intermittent fasting and it just wasn’t for me. I don’t understand her bit about not thinking about food lol. I spend way too much time in any given day thinking about food.
right? i literally wake up in the morning and think “hmm what will i eat today?” and plan gleefully.
as for not needing a partner – even though we might need one on a certain level, some people just go though life without one.. i wish there was less shame and taboo around it.
I wake up in the morning hungry. I try to wait at least 30 minutes before eating 😁. I don’t get how people aren’t hungry in the morning.
I have to take a pill for my thyroid every morning 30 minutes before eating anything. I get up and take that pill immediately and then count down those 30 minutes. I don’t eat much at night anymore because then I get reflux/indigestion (I’m getting old!). I am hungry most mornings and those 30 minutes that I have to wait seem like an eternity!
My thyroid pill seriously interferes with my morning routine. I’m developing a sleep disorder, I wake up before my alarm rings and get up to take my pill – and immediately go back to bed for a few hours so I don’t have to count the minutes before I can eat, or have coffee. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one that has issues.
Dara! I do the same thing. I set my alarm, take my pill, and go back to sleep. I want a cup of coffee immediately in the morning, so this is the only way I can do that.
It does indeed! Imagine if GRRM had discipline like her! We might actually have the next Ice and Fire books! Goodness me…
I would be an extremely unpleasant person if I did not eat until 4pm! I get HANGRY. Nooooo thank you! But, you know, different strokes for different folks!
I always hated the ending to SATC (the show). I strongly believed that Carrie should have ended up alone. Sam too. The message should have been that it is okay to be single and fabulous. Big would NEVER have settled down with her. That’s the kind of bullsh*t fantasy that women have about emotionally unavailable men that the show was originally the antithesis of. Carrie should have been alone at the end but okay with that. The creator of the show said as much as well.
It is intermittent fasting but if she isn’t eating until 430 and is in bed by 9, she is doing a radical version of it. and it doesn’t have to be radical to work. It can be 11 hours, 10 hours, etc. I think I read that 8 hours is ideal. I do 10 hours, and it works well.
I was thinking the same thing. If I tried to follow her eating patterns, I’d be lightheaded and unable to concentrate on work most of the time. And there’s no way I’d be able to exercise.
Regardless, she’s really good at what she does and I liked reading about her.
Your body adapts. I do 18 to 20 hours no food..and 4 to 6 hour window to eat and I am alright.
After 16 hours you get autophagy, that’s probably why she looks so good.
I’ve never been a breakfast eater, my stomach just doesn’t like it. I do drink black coffee. I’m up at 5:30-6:00 and usually don’t eat until lunch. Some days I’m so busy I don’t eat until dinner and it’s usually when I string a few days like that together that my skin looks amazing (from autophagy). I like eating, though, and always look forward to lunch.
I always say, “No one warns you about 50”. It’s great in so many ways, but if you’re in menopause, changes occur on an almost weekly basis – one is constantly making adjustments, and taking stock. Staying healthy and staying in shape is a full-time occupation, so be warned!
BABY………………………..THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yup. I’m about to become a full empty nester, too, so I find myself really at a crossroads emotionally, professionally, everything seems sort of different and potentially difficult. But so far, so good. Sigh.
You are so right. And your body needs a lot less calories to function but eating is fun and enjoyable.
I want to look like her in my 60s.
If it requires not eating until 4p though, I guess I’ll be pretty in jail because hanger is going to get the best of me.
I eat something small as soon as I wake up and then grab a latte and baked good on the way to work. I can’t make it through a hot shower without getting dizzy if I haven’t at least had a piece of toast and a glass of juice.
I’m similar – coffee on my way into work (around 9am), then usually don’t feel like eating til 12
I’m not too strict about when I eat though, I believe in listening to my body for the most part, so if I get hungry at 10, I’ll eat at 10
I make myself eat in the morning to start my day otherwise I’m prone to fainting because of my low blood pressure and food help, but yeah, I’m not hungry often rather. I might skip lunch and eat light dinner or snack on fruit throughout the day without having an actual sit down meal once.
She looks great and I so appreciate her take on relationships and related social pressures, we need more positive messages for women like this, esp in these times…
I really like her comments. I usually get up at 7:30 and don’t eat until around 1 pm because I’m simply not hungry. People kept on telling me: that’s not healthy, you must have breakfast yadayada. And now everyone is doing the intermittent fasting! 🙂
34 trying to get out of a 4 1/2 year relationship with a narc and I honestly want to be single the rest of my life after this!!!!!! my, my yoga pants, my girlfriends and my dogs is all I need!
That picture with the dogs is adorable. That one pup is like a big baby <3
She looks phenomenal, that’s some of the best ‘tweaking’ I’ve ever seen. She legit looks to be in her 40s.
Re: not having a partner. I always say, “There’s a lid for every pot, but some of us are meant to be skillets.”