Julianne Hough refuses to take her husband Brooks Laich’s name after two years

Honestly, I always considered Julianne Hough to be a religious (practicing) Mormon who went along with her church’s conservative views most of the time. But there have been hints before that Julianne thinks for herself and questions her church’s various doctrines and general conservatism. She’s done work for gay rights, she lived with her now-husband Brooks Laich before marriage, and according to Laich, Julianne really does not want to take his name. Brooks has a podcast, How Men Think, where he talks about bro sh-t in a shockingly not-toxic way, everything from discussions of intimacy and therapy and IVF, and now this: his feelings about how Julianne just flat-out refuses to drop her maiden name and take his name. They’ve been married for two years and she still goes by Hough, privately and professionally.

Brooks Laich on Julianne keeping her maiden name: “I don’t find it disrespectful. I’m obviously open to it, but at the start, yeah, it was a little jarring for me.”

It was an “ongoing discussion” since the early stages of their relationship. “When we first met and got engaged and stuff, we had this conversation and I was like, ‘I want you to take my last name.’ I said that. It was important to me.” Laich explained that the couple never “resolved the issue” before they got married, but said they’ve continued to talk about it over the years — and he only sees that discussion becoming more in-depth when they start a family. “To me right now, it’s not that big of an issu. We don’t have any kids right now, but she doesn’t have my last name.”

He’s surprised that it’s not a bigger issue for him: “I will say I didn’t think that initially — I figured it would be an issue — but I’m surprised for myself now that it’s not an issue. But, it will be interesting to see when we have kids. When we have children, I would want them to have my last name, our last name…I’m actually kind of surprised that it hasn’t become an issue in our relationship because I do, as a man, I take pride in the last name and being, having that last name as the family name and especially when we have kids, I think that will amplify. I don’t know for a fact, but I’m assuming it might amplify for me. I think it’ll always be an ongoing discussion but I’m not going to make my wife change her last name if she doesn’t feel comfortable, but I don’t think that creates a division within our relationship.”

[From People]

I kind of love that Julianne is putting up such a fight about it? Props to her. To me, the discussion of married name/maiden name gets more complicated when you have a lot of stuff attached to your maiden name, whether it’s diplomas, law degrees, medical licenses, businesses and yes, your brand as a celebrity. I would completely understand – as I suspect Brooks would too – if Julianne wanted to keep her maiden name for her professional work, because she’s probably a member of various unions under her maiden, and “Hough” is her celebrity brand. But it is surprising that she hasn’t changed her name privately. And despite Brooks trying to act cool about it, it’s clearly bugging him. And just FYI – even when women keep their maiden, most of the time the kids take the husband’s name, so I don’t know why Brooks is worried about that.

2017 Creative Arts Emmy Awards - Day 1

Photos courtesy of WENN, Instagram.

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101 Responses to “Julianne Hough refuses to take her husband Brooks Laich’s name after two years”

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  1. ME says:

    She’s not his property. She doesn’t have to “take his name”. Do as you please.

    • Redgrl says:

      Exactly! The law changed in Quebec in 1977 such that women keep our own names upon marriage. Having grown up with that, I have a hard time understanding the whole name change business. Culturally it is not what I grew up with, and so hubby and I have different last names.

      • OriginalLala says:

        I’m from Quebec too Redgrl! could never understand the whole name change thing because growing up no women in my family took their husband’s name. Kept mine as well

      • Arpeggi says:

        And just think about how simpler for the state to not have to deal with name changes due to marriage, divorce, re-marriage, etc.! It was a great decision. Also, as a scientist I want to keep my last name as-is because it’s the one I started publishing with.

      • Redgrl says:

        @originallala – hello/bonjour fellow Quebec person! 😀

    • whatWHAT? says:

      yeah, this. it’s such an antiquated idea, born from an earlier kind of society.

      and if/when they have kids, why not give the kids BOTH names, since they’ll be part of the Laich AND Hough families?

      I know a lot of people are hyphenating these days (Jolie-Pitt!), my sis included. her husband took the hyphenated name, too.

      • Jensays says:

        I have a hyphenated name… and it is long and doesn’t fit on most standardized testing forms or mail. My work email is cut as well so i just have a portion of it on there… i also have an apostrophe and an accent over … It’s a pain in the ass and I do often think about the future and if i do have kids. WTH will i do with their last name? I will say that as a kid, I HATED my hypenated last name. It’s long, people ask questions (in the early 80′s it wasn’t as common) and I didn’t share the same last name as any of my cousins which for whatever reason bothered me at the time.

        With all that said, I love my last name today. it’s a special club that only my sister and I are a part of. We are (I’d be willing to bet) the only ones in the world with the combo we have (one of my last names is really, err… rare?). It’s not even a feminist thing either (since both of the names are from the males of my families – dad and grandpa/father of my mom) – i just like it and find it weird that people would willingly give up the names they grew up with just when they are married.

      • whatWHAT? says:

        interesting…I once worked with a British woman who was married to a British man, and their name was hyphenated. I figure it was hers and his, but I found out it was HIS hyphenated name, and when I tell you they must have gotten married in the 60s I am not kidding. Which means it was HIS PARENTS who had hyphenated, and they must have been married in the 40s! I was SO surprised that people hyphenated “back then” but then I thought maybe it was more common in the UK than in the US?…in any case, that’s great that you love your name! I hope you do for the rest of your days.

    • Still_Sarah says:

      My sister kept our family name when she married but it was for different reasons. Her husband’s last name was basically the same as her first name (i.e. she would have become Summer Summers), so she said no. They have been married for over 30 years and I still laugh about it.

    • Himmiefan says:

      Yep, and it’s not our place to judge.

  2. Josephine says:

    I appreciate his frankness on the topic but it’s interesting that he doesn’t assume that she, too, as a human being, has pride in her last name. How is it a male thing to have pride in one’s last name?

    I kept the name I was given at birth, and we split the names of the kids (every other has one of our last names). I can’t tell you how much of a non-issue it is. We did not hyphenate but the kids’ middle names do pay homage to the other side of the family. They’re nearing adult age in case anyone is wondering how it plays out.

    • Valiantly Varnished says:

      Thank you. I love my last name. I take pride in it. And if I have kids I would like MY last name to continue as well. I plan on hyphenating if I have kids. Seems pretty simple and straightforward.

      • Jensays says:

        But what happens when the hyphenated kids have kids? Do they do a multi-hyphen then?

        I am asking this because i am a hyphen and am freaked out over what I do if/when i have kids.

    • ByTheSea says:

      I love that (every other kid). My husband wasn’t hearing it; he was like “YOU don’t want my name, so keep yours, but the kid is definitely getting my last name.” I didn’t put up a fight.

      • ME says:

        You’re the one who carried the child for 9 months and probably did most of the child caring since birth but God forbid a child not have their father’s last name because men earned that right ??? Yeah ok.

      • Allie says:

        My reply would have been “well, no kids then”. *shrug*

    • Jess says:

      Amen! I had a lot of pride in my name even before I had a career. And I knew I wasn’t going to let my kids have just my husband’s name. Why should his name be more important than mine? So what we did was combine our last names and made a new one that we all share as a family and it has pieces of both our family. But I love your idea too, Josephine.

      • Kate says:

        @Jess this is what my husband and I are doing for our kids (first one arriving end of September!), but we are each keeping our own last name.

      • whatWHAT? says:

        I know someone who did that – making a new name out of the two originals. it actually worked really well! they both took it, too; it wasn’t just for the kids.

      • Lucy2 says:

        I know a couple who did a combined name but they did it oddly and it’s a totally awkward name now, like you can tell they mushed it together. But it’s a nice idea.

    • blinkers says:

      I agree, and why can’t he relate to her pride? desire? to keep her original last name.

      • maryna says:

        My husband is Czech: born and raised there. So taking his surname would mean adapting to a name that that is almost unheard of in this country, and not even his exact last name but with an “ova” at the end. (The Czechs often feminize a surname in this way.) While I have been to Czech multiple times now, and love it, and have learned the language, and it feels like a second home to me to, when we married, I had never been there, and felt no visceral attachment to that country. That was the primary reason, I thought, that I kept my own name. But it actually it wasn’t nearly as much for that as for myself, wanting to stay the same person, which I felt was selfish to admit. My own surname was already attached to several published poems and stories in literary journals, but of course I was (and am) still a completely unrecognized, faceless, interchangeable name in the publishing world (and at large.) The very oddest thing was that I used to love the idea of transformation, of becoming someone other than myself, and certainly, being christened with a new name should have appealed to me. But it wouldn’t have been “me”, I would have been as unable to adapt to as it as I am to lift my own shadow off the ground and carry it over a threshold to somewhere I could exist, in a changed form…I have a fairly typical . surname, about as common as a minnow in a lake; it’s easy to both pronounce and recollect. It is my father’s name, who was born in Ireland and returned and died there when I was twelve, but his porous and dense absence was as much a presence in my life, or more, sometimes, than of all those who were alive around me. I don’t know if I want, in retaining nothing of him but his name, to reattach or follow him, but I believe I take it more to break out from underneath his weighty, empty, elusive, trackless place within our galaxy, , and to imprint my own, clear, recreated light to find where and what of him remains, in a place as invisible and dark as interstellar space.

    • Kathy says:

      I kept my last name (I’d known I was going to do that since I was a teenager.) He was absolutely fine with it. When I first told my now-husband I would not in a million years be taking his name, he says he was a little shocked, because it had never even occured to him his wife wouldn’t take his name. That tells you something about society. But he got over it literally within seconds.
      If we’d had kids, I would have fought for hyphenating (our last names start with the same letter and sound good together). He wasn’t so keen on that idea, but we didn’t have children so it ended up being moot.
      I remember telling my mother-in-law I wasn’t changing my name. I was scared to death she was going to think I was disrespecting her son and her husband or something. She just sat there silently for like a minute and then goes, “Yeah, if I could do it again, I’d keep my last name too.”
      I know it’s all about choice, but I get upset when I see women I know are outspoken feminists change their name. I wish keeping our names would catch on.

  3. Valiantly Varnished says:

    I’m not a celeb and if I ever get married I will be keeping my name. Why? Because I like it. And I don’t feel that taking your husband’s name is necessary. Any children’s names can be hyphenated. Pretty simple. And any man who this rubs the wrong way gets MAJOR side eye from me. Including Brooks. Because the question then becomes WHY are you so pressed and put out by your wife keeping her own name?? Besides the obvious misogynist and proprietary vibes your anger is giving off.

    • whatWHAT? says:

      I love my name, too. I’ve been with my bf for 26 years and we don’t plan to “make it legal” but if we ever do, I’ll keep my name, too. His is pretty cool, I must say, but I like mine better. ;)

    • Kitten says:

      This seems completely reasonable and fair to me. Also agree with Josephine’s comment upthread that for many women, their last name is ALSO a source of pride.

  4. Wisca says:

    He’s not acting cool about it at all. Making it public to pressure her is f’ed up too.

  5. ByTheSea says:

    I took my son’s name, not my husband’s. We were together for years before the kid and still didn’t take it before my son went to school. Once he went to school, though, I just found it easier to have the same name, since all the teachers called me by his last name anyway.

    • A.Key says:

      Err, but your son took his father’s name, not yours? No disrespect, but you do seem to be kinda kidding yourself here.

      • ByTheSea says:

        It was a tongue-in-check comment. :-) It annoys my husband when I put it this way. All my legal paperwork is still in my own name, but am “Mrs. So and So” or “Kid ByTheSea’s mom” for school things and personal/school email.

  6. Pixie says:

    There is no chance in hell I am taking my husband’s name (if I ever get married). I think it’s an outdated, patriarchal concept and if Julianne has already said she isn’t comfortable doing it, I don’t really understand why he is still pushing for it. Any children I have will also definitely have a hyphenated last name, for the both of us. Also, I know that my last name came from the same patriarchal concept as it is my father’s last name, but at least the man helped create me – why on Earth should I take the name of some man I happened to fall in love with as a fully formed adult?

    • Valiantly Varnished says:

      All of this.

    • Allie says:

      What will happen when two people that were given hyphenated names get married or have kids? Will those kids get two hyphenated names? Are there legal restrictions?

      To be honest, I really dislike the hyphenating of names because in the end it is still the woman making compromises. Rarely, there are men who will take a hyphenated or even his wife’s name. I recently looked up statistics for it. It’s really depressing.

      • Valiantly Varnished says:

        Well that will be THEIR decision to make when they are adults.
        And I don’t see the hyphenating of children’s names as a “compromise”. The child belongs to BOTH parents. A hyphenated name is fair and equal.
        Also – I would never expect my husband to take my name. Just as I would never marry someone who would EXPECT me to take his.

      • Eme says:

        In Brazil the first name (surname) is the mother’s name 🙅‍♀️ I think it’s amazing!

      • Pixie says:

        Agreed! We are all adults with our own names – hoisting our identities on other adults is odd and proprietary. The children can make their own choices, when they get older.

      • KPick says:

        Ok I’m wondering the same thing! Getting married soon so putting a lot of thought into what I want to do. But what happens down the line when all the hyphenated named people start to marry each other and have babies?

      • Wisca says:

        Let your children honor themselves in figuring it out. Right now, whatever you decide, stay true to yourself & understand that you live in a culture that would have you give up your name. This same culture is not asking your husband to do the same.

      • Diana says:

        Hey! I have a hyphenated surname and I am very happy with it. I carry both my parents’ names and they are my names, too. That is to say that while one is my mother’s and one my father’s, they are, together, mine. Therefore, the choice of what to do when I have children is easy. One of my names will be hyphenated with my partner’s surname to create a hyphenated name for our child. One of my names will be left off, which seems very fair to me: each of us will contribute half to a new whole name.

        Other people, I’m sure, make other choices, and that’s fine. I wanted to share, though, because I see this argument made often to dismiss the possibility of both parents names being passed on to their child (‘oh, but then the child will have to give a TRIPLE barrelled name to THIER child! Impossible! Better just give the father’s name’). It’s really okay to pass on both names to a kid :) when they grow up they can thoughtfully figure out what they’d like to do for their children, without being bound by patriarchal norms.

      • Courtney says:

        It’s very tricky for the adults I know with hyphenated names. It’s difficult to combine 3+ last names and not leave someone in the family feeling hurt.

  7. Enn says:

    I never had any intention of changing my name and my husband knew that from almost the beginning of our relationship.

    What annoys me more is when people send mail addressed to my married name (always relatives, always passive aggressive). Don’t force your view of how a wife should be called on me, Karen.

    • Jess says:

      Enjoy, I’d be annoyed by that too. What ticked me off is when my company would send invites to my husband and me and they would address them as Mr and Mrs [his name] [our combined last name]. I thought that was so disrespectful to treat me – their employee – as secondary to him. Plus I’ve always refused to use Mrs too. So much of this etiquette stuff is patriarchal.

      • Kate says:

        Oof I hate the Mr & Mrs John Smith formula (for myself, it doesn’t bother me to see it for other people). I don’t mind Mr & Mrs Smith as much, but having the man’s first name in there really drives me insane when people address mail to my husband and me that way. Especially because I did not change my last name!

      • summertime says:

        I took my husband’s last name, which shocked him and dropped my middle name (a name of a relative that was exiled and a name I hated) and use my maiden name. My FIL now insists he must address me as Mrs. Bob Smith and I’m like no I’m as Becky Smith I’m not owned by your son and he can’t understand why I get offended by it.

    • Erinn says:

      Lol I’ve been on the receiving end of that as well. “[husbands first name] & Family” – from his aunt who’s known me for like 14 years. We also don’t have kids. The woman’s kind of flaky, and it’s a huge family, so I wouldn’t be surprised if it was less passive aggressive in her case, and more a case of being an idiot.

      I had already said I wasn’t changing my name for work. It’s a pain to update all the systems, and husbands name is Scottish and hard to spell. Since a lot of our systems search by last name, I never planned to bother. I had planned to hyphenate, and did on facebook. But I didn’t actually change anything legally.

      He sort of cared before we got married, but quickly lost interest. I brought it up the other day and he was like ‘huh. I forgot. It seems like more hassle than it’d ever be worth to change anything’ and that was that. Our 5 year is next month, so I mean, I drug it out for quite some time haha.

      • Kate says:

        lmao that is hilariously passive aggressive! “Joe & Family” when it’s just the two of you

      • Erinn says:

        Right!? Had it been someone else, I’d have been fuming. Even still, I was a bit annoyed by it.

        But it’s become a big joke now between my husband and I, so whatever.

    • Scal says:

      THIS. Esp when it’s family. We’ve been married over a decade-you know my last name and that I didn’t hyphenate either. Every Christmas card, every wedding invitation. Young cousins and older family At one family wedding I didn’t see my place card since it was under Scal hislastname, and I had rsvp’d under my last name.

      My spouse suggested that we have one kid with his name and one with mine. While it made me so happy he’d suggest that- I thought that would be to confusing. Hyphenating would have led to a 22 character surname.

      • Brandy Alexander says:

        I went to a wedding of a friend who my husband had known since high school. Our place card said: Mr. Alexander & Guest. Even thought we had been married longer than the couple had even been together, and we both had a part in the ceremony! I just laughed it off, and felt sorry for the bride because her family sucked and I think she was under a lot of stress leading up to her wedding and/or they were the ones who made the place card.

  8. Meredith says:

    Aside from the notion that women should be able to keep their last names if they want, as a celebrity and a brand, she should keep her last name because that’s what her brand is known as. Just ask Cheryl Tweedy Cole Fernandez-Versini.

  9. HeyThere! says:

    If she wants to keep it, that’s her right! Good for her. I wanted to take my partners last name, and that’s my right! Good for me.

  10. Becks1 says:

    this is interesting. I like that he is speaking so openly and honestly about it. I think for many men, they don’t think about it that much – its just that the wife takes the husband’s name, and they assume that will happen when they get married. Most women I know who did NOT take their husband’s name discussed it before and were always very clear.

  11. MsSmurf says:

    I almost commented this on a recent posting about last names but got distracted.

    There’s a myriad of reasons why someone might change his or her name, but I hate that it’s only a discussion that women have. Sure a few men change their last name (I think Zoe Saldana’s husband did), but if we’re REALLY talking about an equitable system not still rooted in patriarchal practices 50% of the people who change their name when getting married would be men. I’m SHOCKED at how many girlfriends I have who didn’t want to change their name but did so for the sake of “family” but there was never even a thought that the husband might change his name.

    I am very attached to my last name, it is unique. My husband has a very common last. Before we got married he knew I wasn’t changing my name but I said “Mr. Smurf (obviously not my real last name) has a nice ring to it.” He agreed, thought about it, decided he didn’t want to change his last name but guess who has Smurf as his middle name now? Because we both agreed that the world needed more Smurfs.

  12. Allie says:

    Why would kids get the fathers last name? In Germany children get the mom’s name per default. I would not want to go through a pregnancy and 20 hours of labour and then the kid gets someone else’s name.

    I also kept my name – because it’s MY name – and my husband did not even blink an eye. It was a non-issue and saved me a lot of paperwork.

    • A.Key says:

      Wow, way to go Germany!

      • Linn says:

        @A.Key Unfortunately Germany also (usually?) doesn’t allow for Kids to get both parents last name, which is a bit annoying to me as it seems like the fairest solution.

    • Arpeggi says:

      I sort of get why men (or the non-carrying parent) would want their kids to have their name because of that: we carry them, we birth them, we know they are ours whereas men’s main option to acknowledge their filiation to his kids is giving them his name, I’m ok with that. Also, I don’t care that much about my last name, the men that transmitted it to me were lousy fathers at best so it’s ok if it disappears because my hypothetical kids have my hypothetical partner’s name. I’ll keep my last name though

  13. CanadiAnne says:

    When I married nearly 20 years ago, I chose to hyphenate my last name. When our 3 children were born, we gave them my husband’s surname as their own. But my maiden surname became their middle names. It was a balanced compromise that made both of us happy.

  14. Kelly says:

    Why are we even still talking about this in 2019? A woman’s name is her name.

  15. sommolierlady says:

    I never once considered giving up my name when I married. I’m proud of what my ancestors accomplished. It’s been 23 years now and my husband couldn’t care less. Good for Julianne. It’s about choice. There is no right or wrong but it should be the womans choice without pressure or shaming thrown in. He is definitely pressuring her by making this public.

  16. Christine says:

    I live in Quebec. By law we keep our maiden name. If you want it changed one would have to go through court and pay $$$.
    Good for her in wanting to keep her last name.

  17. JM says:

    How can his show be non-toxic if he is? Sounds like a patriarchal pig to me.

    • Wisca says:

      Yup/

    • SamC says:

      He’s really not at all. They both were being honest, which is the whole point of his podcast. By all accounts he’s an incredibly kind, nice, positive, supportive man and husband.

  18. adastraperaspera says:

    Her name is her brand. He’s just acting like it bothers him to keep his man-cred.

  19. Anatha A. says:

    Had a talk with my aunt, how she was devastated, when my mother took the name of my father. Suddenly there was this strange woman that had “her” name, because my aunt had to give up her maiden name, when she married.

  20. Hikaru says:

    When it comes to children I believe in “I carry them = I name them”.

    I am not going to build them from my own flesh and bone, bring them into this world from my own uterus and feed them with my own body only to give the credit to somebody else and have them carry that other person’s surname instead of my own.

    So many women are cool with keeping their own name after marriage but draw the line at claiming their own children. Men have zero issues passing on their own surname on the simple basis of having had an orgasm.

    • A.Key says:

      “I am not going to build them from my own flesh and bone, bring them into this world from my own uterus and feed them with my own body ”

      I’m a woman too but that’s being a bit dramatic, don’t you think?

      It’s not like we actually have to do anything other than have sex – the rest just happens automatically. Thanks nature.

      • whatWHAT? says:

        that’s not dramatic, that’s scientifically accurate.

        as for the rest happening automatically, well…kindasorta, with a few caveats.

        the woman is one (as pointed out) who carries that baby for 9 months, often being quite uncomfortable, possibly nauseated for months at a time, having to pee every 20 minutes (and prepping for peeing can take several minutes!), not be able to sleep comfortably, dietary restrictions, swollen ankles/water retention, stretched flesh on your belly (and other places) and having to push out something the size of a watermelon through an opening the size of a plum, whereby your flesh can (sorry for the bluntness) TEAR. that’s not even mentioning the extra weight they have to carry and all those times your baby’s foot is stuck up against your rib cage.

        so, yeah…not dramatic at all. I think a LOT of women would be happy to let the baby’s daddy pick a name if he’d take over gestational and delivery duties.

      • Amber says:

        Lol it may happen automatically (sometimes; but many women suffer miscarriages or need hormone treatment or in vitro fertilization or artificial insemination to have a successful pregnancy, so it’s not that simple) but it’s still a process that changes your body in ways that are painful or uncomfortable. It also means you can’t drink alcohol, or very much caffeine, you may have gestational diabetes or pre eclampsia, you may have heartburn or other inconveniences, you have to buy new clothes and possibly shoes, you may have to go on bed rest or take additional precautions…to say nothing of the pain of labor or the risks of postpartum depression (or being depressed while pregnant! This happens too!) or the challenges of breastfeeding, or the risks of leaving the labor market to care for a new baby, the wage penalty that typically happens in the US for mom’s, OR the stress of not being able to take time off to recover from labor and care for a new baby, OR the increased risks of death for Black women in the UK and the US (who have higher maternal and infant mortality rates than white women)…I don’t think any woman who has ever been pregnant would say it’s an easy, automatic process. Even if they find pregnancy to be a great experience. Her body is literally creating another body. Men don’t go through that. Not at all. Nor are they affected by the same wage penalty and/or workplace discrimination as women are for having kids.

      • whatWHAT? says:

        thank you, Amber, for mentioning a LOT of stuff I didn’t! the health issues and wage penalty especially. and you could have a PERFECT pregnancy, health wise, and still suffer from the post-partum depression and wage penalty.

        but, yeah…it happens “automatically”…lol.

      • Ange says:

        And it can kill you but yeah sure, super automatic and casual.

    • Juls says:

      I kept my maiden name and gave my kiddos their father’s surname. I didn’t see it as giving him credit for anything. It’s because of my profession. In my line of work, it’s better if my kids have a different name than mine, as a layer of protection for them because of what I do for a living. I’m not disagreeing with your point at all. Just pointing out that everybody’s circumstances are different.

  21. tealily says:

    My husband has a very common last name and actively encouraged me to keep my last name, which I did. I could see maybe switching at some point, but it’s been years at this point and I’m not worried about it. It just seems like such a headache.

    Uncharacteristically, my husband *is* adamant that if we have a kid, the kid gets his same. That’s fine with me, but I don’t really get why that’s so important to him when he couldn’t care less about my name.

  22. hogtowngooner says:

    I had never planned to take my future husband’s name, because I thought it was just outdated and unnecessary and I just didn’t see the reason to go through the process of changing my name on all my documents and IDs when we’d be just as married if I didn’t. That’s not to throw shade on women who do take their spouse’s last name; it’s every woman’s decision to make for herself.

    By sheer coincidence I wound up getting engaged to a guy whose first name is the male equivalent of mine, so taking his last name would have created TONS of confusion and errors. Hypenating would have made my initials ‘A.S.S.’ soooooo lol.

  23. NotSoSocialButterfly says:

    I took my husband’s last name in 1995, and in hindsight, I realize I did so in an effort to shed my family of origin due to conflict. Now I wish I had kept my identity, more so as I age and the kids are flying from the nest. New phase of life requiring adjustment, I guess.

  24. Carli Whitehead says:

    She’s not a practicing Mormon but she doesn’t talk about it. I wish she would.

  25. N says:

    I kept my last name. He doesn’t care. It isn’t a big deal to us. Do what ya want.

  26. Thea says:

    My last name is long and exotic. I remember once a teacher told me I had to marry a guy with a simple last name like brown. Um, no thanks. Sometimes I like my name, sometimes I don’t, sometimes it’s annoying when people ask how to pronounce it and where is it from – but it’s my name, so I don’t think I would change it. But that decision is a long ways ahead. I do like the idea of giving every other kid a different surname. Hyphenating my name would just be abusive.

    I have a cousin who kept her name professionally when she got married the first time. For the second marriage, her husband changed his name to her original last name.

    • Christine says:

      So now I’m curious… what is your last name (only of you don’t mind :) )
      I honestly don’t see the point in changing last names. My daughters has mine and her fathers last name. A lot of parents are doing that these days.

  27. Jess says:

    I intended to change my last name when I got married, but the more I thought about it i realized how proud I am. My dad raised me and my younger brother, I didn’t want to let go of that name, plus it was MY name for 35 years and it felt weird, so I moved it to my middle name and took my husbands last, he wasn’t happy, and if I could go back I wouldn’t have changed a thing. It’s a stupid tradition from a time when women didn’t have a choice, men need to get the f over it. I also know that you don’t need your husband or significant other to sign the birth certificate, so name your children whatever the hell you want, lol.

  28. Amber says:

    I would never take anyone else’s name. Not that keeping my maiden name is more inherently feminist, as it comes from my dad. But that’s kind of how I see it in my head, would I rather keep my father’s surname, or take on the name of someone else. I’d rather keep my father’s surname. I take pride in my family. Our name is easy to spell, shows our family’s heritage, and sounds nice with my first name. I’ve also seen my parents divorce and then my mom remarry and divorce again, and it was a gigantic hassle for her to change her name back to her first married name again. It drives me nuts that women are expected to change their literal identities when they get married. If someone wants to that’s fine, but the fact that men tend to expect it really bothers me. They get to keep their names, they take it for granted.

    • A says:

      For me, it’s like, I grew up with my name. I’ve always been this name. Whenever I dreamed of the type of future I would have, I always imagined that this is the name I would have as well. Why would I change that? It’s a part of me, it’s a part of who I am, and that’s not going to change just to pacify someone else’s ego.

  29. Kaylove says:

    I got married 4 years ago and still haven’t changed my name. It’s more so a matter of I just cant be bothered over not wanting to take my husbands name. Everyone refers to me with my married name anyways so, meh!

    • tealily says:

      Yeah, I get called Mrs. Husband’sname constantly, but that’s cool. It’s not like it’s confusing, I know they mean me.

    • MissG says:

      When I got married 15 years ago, I was working FT with an 18MO and was pregnant with my 2nd. So spending a day downtown at the probate court was the LAST thing on my list! It always just seemed like a huge hassle, so I never did it. My husband got over it. I usually just go by his name anyway, just not on legal documents.

  30. A says:

    I was reading a blog post written by a lady who is now an ex-evangelical fundamentalist. She talked about how, when she married her first husband, she had to fill out reams and reams of paperwork and mail it off to all these different companies because she had gotten her name changed, and these places needed their records updated. And I honestly had no fcking clue that it was that arduous of a process. I figured that you change your passport, your license, your bank account, etc, but no. There’s dozens more places that you have to update on your own by contacting them. It’s bonkers.

    Anyway, I have ADHD, and I’m honestly just lazy as a person on top of everything else, so that will not be happening. All that work to change all of that sh-t, for what? To help my husband carry on his family name? We are all descended from so much more than just one particular strand of our family. Generations of people came together in order to get to me. Why does only one part of my family get credit for it, because of an accident of birth? How stupid.

  31. Lane's mom says:

    I kept my name; my husband was surprised but had no problem with it. Our kids have his last name, although I think the most equitable solution would be to have daughters take the mother’s last name and sons, the father’s. It would be nice if women had the same continuity that men have.

  32. Himmiefan says:

    The worst is calling a women Mrs Husband’s Name (Mrs John Smith). Fortunately, that’s done very rarely these days.

    I laugh now thinking of a woman back in the day who insisted on being called Mrs. Dr. Smith, or whatever, since her husband was a doctor.

  33. sunshine gold says:

    What’s jarring is that men still care about this so much. And women too who feel it’s a must to change it. It’s so antiquated.

  34. Aotearovian says:

    I’m not opposed to married couples having the same last name. Should I ever get married, my husband will be welcome to take mine :)

  35. leskat says:

    When I first met my boyfriend I did want to take his last name when we got married. But the longer we go without getting married, the more I realize I do not want to do that whatsoever. We have 2 kids and their last name is his (mostly because it’s a much easier to spell and pronounce). But I’ve spent 37 years with my last name and I do not want to change it now. I was born with this name and I will die with it. My mom is concerned because it would be nice if “we were a family” but I just give her a confused look and say “we ARE a family. We don’t need matching last names for that.” There are points where it gets a little annoying-where people address me as Mrs. His name or call us all the Smiths but I don’t take any offense. I just renewed my passport and chose a 10 year one as my last stand in not changing my name if we happen to get married.

  36. Patty says:

    The only thing shocking about this to me is that they didn’t resolve the issue before they got married; just make a decision or come to a compromise/agreement. I don’t get it why they are still having the same discussion two years after getting married.

  37. MissAmerica says:

    On a side note to the author: Latter-day Saints have publicly requested the media and everyone else stop calling them the slang term “Mormon”. :)

  38. Mash says:

    I’m a completely accomplished young black woman who lived life with my dad last name then a Dept of Motor vehicles flub catapulted with my mom’s last name ….ALL LAST NAMES OF MEN

    got married yesterday and will be taking my husbands name…. i didnt grow up with traditions and i crave those little and big things…so it was a no brainer for me.

    if yal were really feminist yal would respect a woman’s right to chose on this matter (some more modern some more traditional) and not bash her or root for her to be at odds in her relationship

  39. anony7 says:

    Her own surname goes well with her first name; if I were her I wouldn’t change my last name either :) Btw the September issue of Women’s Health contains an interview with Hough…I hope Celebitchy covers that interview too.

  40. Cleo17 says:

    I kept my last name. I like it, and it’s part of my identity. I was really shocked at how much crap I got for it from some of my friends. They’re not conservative or anything like that, so I didn’t get it. Sometimes I get really annoyed at the concept that making a different decision for oneself means you’re telling other people their decision was wrong. My mom was totally fine with it.

    We hyphenated our daughter’s name. Mine comes first. My husband understood that if I was the one going through the indignity of pregnancy, my name coming first was just a given.

    We did come up with a version of our last name if we combined them in the stupidest sounding way. We told everyone that we were both changing it to that. The reactions of some people were pretty priceless.